Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 05 - The Worst Kids Gifts, Ryan Fox, The A To Z Of New Zealand

Episode Date: October 4, 2020

WE'RE BAAAAAAACK!!!! Although this is probably more of a curse than a blessing. Your earholes would've had a lovely break from the sound of our voices yapping at you! Today Jono was wondering why in the middle of the night, his kids always wake HIM up when they're thirsty, and not his wife Jen. We also wanted to know if anyone has ever met Donald Trump or been inside the White House, and we had Mike on who absolutely did not disappoint. Finally, we're continuing to give away golf balls for our $10K Tee Off, and we played our favourite jargon game where Ben had to make a reservation at a cafe, while dropping in golf terminology. ENJOYYYYY!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, hey, all right, we're good. This is the podcast intro.

Yeah, we're back with a podcast. We've been away for a week, so it's nice to be back doing a podcast again. Wonderful numbers on the podcast coming through. Are there? Number one, again. I know we started, we debuted at number one on iHeartRadio. Ahead of Conan O'Brien, Joe Rogan, you know, all your Dax Shepherds, all those ones. You hate it when I do that.

I know, I do. When you say the Joe Rogans and the Conan O'Briens. There's only one Joe Rogan that I know of that you're talking about in this instance. Anyway, in this fictitious conversation that I'm continuing with, we started at number one. Then we dropped off and now we're back. We're back on top. Oh, good. We're not number one.

But anyway, on the podcast. Wouldn't success be so much better if it was all just in your head? You didn't have to actually look at hard facts. That's Trump. That's what Trump does, mate. Yeah, well, I mean, it's, yeah. I mean, it got him to the White House. Yeah, true.

So maybe it's a great thing. Now, on the podcast today, we need to start with something. If you did tune into the show, you started, we were in the middle of a chat about something. Speaking of Donald Trump. Oh, yeah, we were. That's what we were talking about. And you talked about Donald Trump's daughter. Yeah, Ivanka. And then I said, oh, look, I'm in an interesting list

of seven things you didn't know about Ivanka Trump. And I started rattling them off and Ben went, oh, seven. When you've been talking on the radio for like three minutes, that's normally when you try and wrap things up. But you're like, hey, I've got seven things to tell you. About Ivanka Trump. Seven's too much. But then, ironically, we spent the seven things to tell you. About Ivanka Trump. I was like, seven's too much. But then, ironically, we spent the time that I would have rattled off all seven

talking about how I wasn't allowed to talk about all seven. I was like, pick one, pick one. And then you allowed me to pick one, and the one I did pick was, Ivanka's not actually a real name. Ivana. Same name as her mother, Donald's ex-wife. But Ivanka is like Bobby is to Robert, so it's a nickname.

I found that interesting. I said it on the podcast, we'll start. Yeah, but it's a podcast. No, this will be its own podcast. Seven Things You Didn't Know. We'll start with Seven Things You Didn't Know About Ivanka Trump. I lost the link, so I'm going to have to retype it. Here we go. Facts about Ivanka Trump.

Thank God the Wi-Fi is running hot for our old fidgety pants over here. Okay. She modelled during high school. Did you know that? No. That doesn't blow you? Yeah.

Blown my mind. I really should have finished that sentence yeah I was like yeah okay um oh no that's not interesting oh no you can't say you wanted to do all seven this morning

and that's why I was like seven was too many now I want you to prove that seven is well no seven okay alright she shares an alma mater with her dad. After two years

at Georgetown University, see, you're already bored. I'm pulling out of that one. I'm checking emails now. She's appeared on Project Runway and Gossip Girl. Okay, yeah. The TV's there. That does it again. Doesn't blow you. English, not her only language.

Speaks French, fluent French. Right, okay. And Czech. Oh. Czech. English. Yeah, Czech yourself before you wreck yourself. That's good.

And we did. She designed her engagement ring. Okay, well, that's nice. Losing him, losing him. That's nice. A very scheduled mother, apparently. Dedicates 20 minutes a day to playing cars on the floor with her son. That's good.

Yeah, that's great. And also reads two books to her daughter every day. They must be short books. Or skipping pages. Well, yeah. But that's lovely. That's lovely that she makes time for that. And those were seven things you didn't know about Ivanka Trump, so I'm glad we covered that off. Yeah, now you can enjoy the podcast. Enjoy.

The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, now a shocking night. Sleep last night. I feel like I come in here every day and go like, I haven't slept at all last night. It was nice having a week off to see, not to hear your sleep updates.

Oh, guys, last night you're like, all right, mate. I'll give you a morning sleep update. But I woke up at 12.30 and I just didn't get back to sleep. And you just get inside your head. You're like, come on, you can pull this back. You start thinking about stuff and then you overthink about things. I was doing everything. I was counting.

I was like, just count. One, two, three, four. And I just couldn't. And then your mind wanders. And then I was like, oh, I looked at three o'clock. I'm like, oh, well, it's done. It's done. I'm up in 40 minutes anyway.

Anyway, what I did realise overnight is that you play roles as a parent, don't you, in the middle of the night? I mean, these are moments where you just want to be asleep. But, Juliet, you'll find this out if you decide to have children in your life. Is that on the agenda? Yes, in the future. Yeah. For some reason, I'm the refreshments parent in Is that on the agenda? Yes, in the future. Yeah. For some reason, I'm the refreshments parent in the middle of the night.

Oh, yeah. Kids always, it's like they're walking through the desert in the middle of the night. It's like, so thirsty. I'm like, well, there's a fridge and there's water or whatever. There's a tap.

Okay, but I'm on the sidelines of a netball game providing refreshments. Oh, so this is like, well, you have water with dinner. You had water after that. For some reason, the space of a couple of hours, they're so thirsty. At no stage in the marriage negotiation was it like,

okay, who's playing refreshments overnight? This was never a conversation we had. I'm just, this falls on me. And so I'm up every night getting refreshments. But to be fair to Jen, she's more the medical expertise. You know, she'll spring out of bed if there's a...

So you know where the tap is. Yeah. That's as far as my... Dad's got that sort of... But I'm also the got to get up and investigate suspicious noises guy.

Oh, I don't like that idea. No, I hate that. Ooh. And that, again, was never negotiated. I was like, we could have had an open conversation about,

okay, who does this fall on? Because I'd like it to be you and not me. And the vows, that should be a thing. They should. You're right. That's what you need to get in there because I'm terrible at that sort of thing. My man is like, there's a noise.

I'm like, yeah, probably. Someone's breaking in. Yeah, what do you want me to do about it? You've seen the size of me. I'm not going to do anything You're way more equipped than that You're gutsier than me Just let them take their stuff

I can help them carry some stuff Out of the car anyone Or if they get tired I can give them some water I can offer them refreshments That's as far as my skills go Oh shit Guys so here you go We've got some hot work I cannot put the refreshments. That's as far as my skills go. Oh, my God.

So, here you go. We've got some hot work. It's happy hour, right? This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. A lot of stuff's happened over the week as well. Donald Trump, President of the USA, contracted COVID and his supporters are outside hospital.

And I love these guys. They're out there with their signs. They're loyal. They're out there with their bloody mullets and stuff. That was a nice message, wasn't it? A lovely message. Chanting. Get well soon! Get well soon! Get well soon!

Lovely message, but very aggressive as well. It's like normally those things get your message across in a rally, you know? But anyway, look at them for getting out there. Trying to scare coronavirus out of the president there. So what we wanted to do is we wanted to chug this open. 0800 the hits.

I've forgotten the text number since I've been away. 4487, 4487. Give me your number if you want. Yeah, 02199. So what we wanted to know is have you been in the White House or

met Donald Trump now this is a hail Mary this is a radio hail Mary we could come back next and more than likely we'll have nothing

especially at day one coming back we want to look good we want to come back and we're like oh yeah those guys have hit the ground running but this is an opportunity

for us to fail right now. So I under the hits is the phone number 4487. Have you been inside the White House or have you met Donald Trump? Both those things very hard to do, I imagine. A huge risk with very little reward, I think, on offer here being bullish. I stood outside the White House, but

that's not good enough. And I also saw No, your story's already boring me. Stop talking. But I saw a motorcade. This was a year where Obama was president and there was a motorcade, police motorcycles and even an ambulance as well at the end of it. And they reckon that... I was talking to someone outside at the time

and he reckons that travels around with the president's blood in the presidential motorcade. What, he's got an ambulance following him everywhere? I don't know if that was everywhere. That's what the guy told me. So I believe that now I'm telling it on the radio. It's probably not true. Well, you never know when you want some of your own blood, do you?

I suppose with an assassination attempt or something, they need to... Have it, yeah. Oh, man, it makes sense. It seems a little drastic, but it makes... It does. Very American, isn't it? We've got an ambulance with his blood.

Yeah. So 0800, that hits 4487. Like we say, if you could help a couple of desperate commercial broadcasters out right now, have you been to the White House or have you met Donald Trump? All right. Mike has phoned through from Tauranga. Mike, we sound, I don't know if you could hear the desperation in our voices.

We weren't backing us. I've travelled a bit. I've been outside the gate of the White House. I weren't backing us. I've travelled a bit. I've been outside the gate of the White House. I haven't been inside. Okay. But I've been inside Trump Tower. Oh, okay. And is this where you met him?

Met Donald Trump? I didn't meet him, but it's closer than anyone else out there. I've done some really memorable things but I think the best one I've done is when I went into Harrods and I got five pounds of chocolate and had to dump on the second level What? Okay

Totally irrelevant from what we're talking about right now but thank you for sharing that with us At least I made you laugh You did I didn't laugh you did you didn't see it coming I didn't see it coming no

neither did Harrods we were talking about Donald Trump that's why we were going to go have you been to Harrods tomorrow

but then we'll scratch someone off the phone there you go Mike regaling his tales of the world have a great day Mike oh god bit of a dog leg regaling his tales of the world. You take care of yourself, you beautiful people. You too, Mike.

Have a great day, Mike. Oh, God. Bit of a dog leg. No, yeah. Okay, we'll wrap that up now. You want to wrap it up now? I think we're done. I think we're done.

We did have a text of someone. I know, yeah, someone did text in. I have been to the White House a couple of times, met Obama and Bush, but not the current POTUS, so we won't be talking to them. Oh, we won't be? No, we'll talk to Mike. He told us about going to Harrods and going to the bathroom.

I think we're going to have priorities all wrong. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Of course, the election is just a couple of weeks away. Voting, you can start voting as of now for the election, even though the official election date is on the 17th. Who's that organised? Why would you can get a voting you start voting as of now uh for the election even though the official election date is on the 17th who's that organized why would you want to start voting now well this is what i drove past what yesterday was like voting open i was like oh you

could do it get out of the way get it done oh yeah i like having to wait in line like christmas shopping yeah i leave it to the last minute oh god i forgot to do it the stress of oh yeah i gotta get yeah just as the local primary school shutting down for the day. I know there's something I was meant to do today, but anyway, I was watching Poppy, my youngest, and her cousin Gia playing a game of Guess Who last week. What do you think of Guess Who? It's very stereotypy, isn't it? It's a little bit stereotyping back.

It can get into areas where you're like, is this okay for 2020? Yeah, it wasn't made in 2020, but you've come up with a new version of the game. Yeah, and I think we can capitalise on this. Hopefully the fine people at Hasbro are okay with us jumping on board. We'll want, obviously, a financial kickback from this, Ben, if it goes well.

Yeah. And so what we're going to do is we're going to do a live radio ad, which I don't know. Oh, are we? Yeah. No, no. So I'm going to give them this morning's antics. I don't know if this is the best.

No. The wisest decision, but, you know, we weren't here last week, so we didn't have going to, we're given this morning's antics. I don't know if this is the best. No. The wisest decision, but, you know, we weren't here last week, so we didn't have time to pre-record it on Friday, so we're going to go live, okay? That's the thing. I'm going to act as the commercial's voiceover. Okay. Okay.

Juliet, you can play competitor number one. Okay. Ben, you can play competitor number two. Oh, so we're playing a game of political guess who, are we? You're in the guess who. So this is a guess who board game that has politicians on it, is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're playing a game of political guess who you're in the guess who so this is a guess who board game that has politicians on it yeah

okay so we're getting into that role so there's scripts on the shared document if you'd like to read them and if this goes oh wow there's a lot of stuff

for you to play too there's music there's little grabs too can I talk to my agent about this I don't have an agent I just want to not be part of this

just looking for excuses too late now we're into you I don't have an agent. I just want to not be part of this. Just looking for excuses. Too late now. We're in too deep. Your agent says get stuff. Roll with it. Your name's in the title of the show. If this goes bad, it's all on Ben, by the way.

Okay. Jono in coalition with Ben presents Guess Who? The New Zealand Political Edition. Okay. Is your character too scared to say which way she's voting in the weed referendum for fear of alienating political voters? Yes. Oh, okay, I guess you're just Cinder Ardern. And this is why it is a collective effort and why we're a team of five million. The board game that's polling well with everyone apart from politicians.

Alright, is your character probably not going to get back into Parliament? Yes. Are you Winston Peters? No. Oh, okay. James Shaw from the Greens? No. Ooh, the guy from whose party I forget who refuses to wear the face mask. The Advance NZ Party.

Yes. Yes. With political guess who, it'll be question time in your living room. Does your character want to off all the people who can't be bothered living anymore? Yes, I'm David Seymour. Well, no one's talked to me like that since I was at Horror Horror Kindy in 1987. If your taxes pay for them, then you can play with them with more political Guess Who questions like... Has your character ever made promises they'll never keep?

Does your character wear a pinstripe suit? Have you been involved in a serious fraud investigation? Has your politician inappropriately misspent public funds? Have you ever told off a young whippersnapper journalist? Yes, I'm Winston Peters. Gotcha. OK, let me ask another question. I regret coming here this morning to come along to see some junior thinks he's going to play Billy the Kid.

But watch out, because guess who? New Zealand Political Edition could get you stung right in the beehive. Has your character had an affair with a parliamentary staff member? Probably. Oh, yeah, sloppy question. You could be anyone. So take a seat on your back benches on the right and left and play a game. Ooh, strong eyebrows?

Okay, you got me. I'm Judith Collins. Yes. When my eyebrow goes up. That's a joke. And coming soon, guess who's Sports Star Edition.

Has your character got a neck tattoo and been embroiled in an off-field scandal? Yes. Ah, you're an NRL player. So have a debate with your friends in Fano and decide

if you want to waste any of your precious time playing this pointless game. Hey, we did it! We did it! Well done, team. Well done. No one's prouder than us. Everyone listening's probably like, that went on a bit too long. It was terrible, but

we got to the end of it. High stress behind the scenes. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. a bit too long. It was terrible but we got to the end of it. High stress behind the scenes. Fluffing in lines. Well done. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, you've had a bit of experience with drones before, flying drones. We're going to have a moan about drones, are we?

Yeah, you were talking about it the other day. I've never actually flown one until just last week when you were away but you were saying they're very difficult to fly.

Oh, impossible to fly. I went through three drones in a day. I kept losing them. My son's Christmas present. Santa delivered them, but then I had to deliver their following two. Oh, right. Apology drones for losing, because I was like, I'll take it from here, little kid. You won't know what you're up to.

I flew the drones. It just disappeared. It just flew off into the distance. Oh, God. Then I flew a drone into a side of the house. Another drone went into a bush bush couldn't find it again quite flimsy as well because they have little propeller blades and stuff oh yeah break off and when i fly them it looks like uh you know how an intoxicated seagull would navigate its way across the ocean but it's places my thing with

them is we're placing so much faith in the average manta like me to fly these things in the air. Dangerous. All new respect for people that do it, you know, on sports games and TV shows, flying drones with cameras and then they land it back in their hand. I'm like, how do they do that? It's magic. It's like David Copperfield.

Is he still a thing? Or is that a very old reference? So then he's back. He's back, guys. He's back. He's flying drones because his magic career didn't work out for him. But some radio announcer mentioned him once in New Zealand in 2020. Do you even know who I'm talking about, Jimmy? I have no idea. He's back, guys. He's back. He's flying drones because his magic career didn't work out for him. But some radio announcer mentioned him once in New Zealand

in 2020. Do you even know who I'm talking about, Jimmy? I have no idea. He's back now. He's flying drones. Wonderful. So we got given like a mini drone.

We got sent like a small little, so I don't even know if it's an outside thing. So I was like, I've never flown one. Indoor drone? This sounds safe. It's probably for outside,

but I was too scared because I'd heard your stories about it flying off and I'm like, I don't want to cause any accidents or fly it into power lines. Take down a 747. Yeah, like that. So I was like, how about I do just a little test flight at home in the lounge with this little mini drone. Well, you know, I cleared enough space.

The kids were watching TV. I was behind the kids. They're sitting on the couch. And I was sort of, I just wanted to get it airborne, put it around and then back down again. Watch this kids, I'll deliver you dinner. Yeah, but what I did is

I went up and that sort of went kind of the wrong way that I didn't want it to go to. Then you panic. I do, you start panicking, you're trying to get out of it

and I couldn't and it went up the back of Sienna's, my daughter's hair and it got caught within her hair, the blades. Fortunately,

she was facing the TV so it was the back of her head, but the blades start, you know. And then just... It doesn't matter what way she's facing. Well, at least it wasn't towards her face. Yeah, unfortunately, she was away, but it was fine.

This is what I said to my wife. It was for pure sake. If anything, it was fun. It was fun to have a drone stuck in her hair. Well, yeah, we're trying to get the thing, and then you try to get the drone out of her hair. Now, I was going to ask you, have you done this, Jono,

but you've got no hair, so. But we just could not untangle this drone out of the hair. And you're like, you know what we're going to have to do? Mum's not home. We're going to have to give her a little haircut. Just a little haircut. Did you cut a drone out of your daughter's hair? Just a little bit.

Just a drone. We got some of it out, but then it was quite wedged in there. So I was like, I'm going to have to. But she's like, how old are you? Why are you flying? You're the adult here. Yeah. Flew a drone into my hair. Yeah, the kids are like, you want to fly a drone? They're like, I'm going to have to... But she's like, how old are you? You're the adult here. Flew a drone to my hair. Yeah, the kids are like, you want to fly a drone? They're like, oh, not really.

We want to watch what's on TV. We want to watch National Geographic. But you can fly your little drone. There's a religion debate on. I'm like, it's alright. I'll fly the drone. So yeah, so I'm like, I'm done. I'm never going to fly a drone again. I think as a toy, as a toy for the general population,

it's a dick. No, why are they a thing? Maybe machetes this Christmas will become a thing. We'll be safer than drone flying. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Hey, great to have you with us.

We were just talking about Ben landing a drone into his daughter's hair. Are we still safe to talk about this? Will the man have been listening? Yes, hopefully not. He had to cut a drone out of his... Just a little bit, a little hair. Are we still safe to talk about this? Will Amanda be listening? Hopefully not. He had to cut a drone out of his... Just a little bit. A little trim.

Just a little trim. Just a little trim. That looks great. Looks great. She's got like a fringe on the back of her head now. It's amazing. Looks fantastic. Very 2020.

So we're saying drones shouldn't be a toy. No, shouldn't be a toy. Ban them from the toy. But we need to get a... We're just also saying that we need to get a gift from the show for Laura McGoldrick and Martin Guptill. Laura, who hosts the 3pm Pickup. They're having a baby.

We need to get a show gift. Yeah, we do. Because we're too cheap to get individual ones. We'll get one from the show. One from the show. So we need to rule off the things that aren't good gifts, like drones. Chainsaws. Yeah, chainsaws.

Not ideal for baby gifts, are they? Heineken bottles. You can bend the cap and put them in. It could be a baby rattle. Yeah, but not a good gift. Not ideal for baby gifts, are they? Heineken bottles. You can bend the cap and put them in. It could be a baby rattle. Yeah, but not a good gift. Not a good gift. Not a good gift. Not a bad idea, though.

So we want to know this morning, 0800 the hits, what's the worst gift that you've been given for kids or that you may have purchased? Sometimes I have been guilty of handing some comedy presents over. Recorders? Oh, not a recorder. Oh, no. Here we go.

No, you love a recorder, don't you? No one wants to give a recorder out to someone. Oh, no. Where's my recorder? You took it. Oh, I wonder where that went. Where is it? It's always in my bag for moments like this.

And then everyone's like, oh, he doesn't have a recorder. He backs it up. There's God. And do you know, actually, I've got a photo right here because moments like this. And then everyone's like, oh, he doesn't have a recorder. He backs it up. He's gone. And, you know, actually, I've got a photo right here because someone sent me a photo over the holidays. Jono got a photo with a kid that goes to the same school that my wife teaches at. And I was like, oh, that's nice.

Jono's got a photo. And then Jono's holding in his hands. I thought, oh, has he got like a champagne box? It looks like you're holding a champagne box. You brought champagne. I was like, oh, yeah. I did some're holding a champagne box. You bought champagne. I was like, oh yeah. I did some investigation of this photo that you took last week.

It's like, no, it's a cute baby doll. It's like, hi, cute baby doll. Growing up with little baby doll, you could help the baby dress, help the baby doll comb her hair. She's also on the side of the box. Sing to your baby. You can soothe the baby to sleep.

And I had been singing and looking after my little baby doll. Your cute baby doll. Yeah, sometimes. So that could be a good gift. Yeah, it could be a good gift. Well, how was it? It's good, and it reminded me I need to change the baby doll.

It's time for a changing. Sometimes in life you just want something to look after. Yeah, what's that? If it's a baby doll. I was like, oh, he's definitely bought some high market shampoo. Oh, no, it's a cute baby doll. That's unusual. So what is a no-go present for a baby?

Lucy? Well, my auntie actually bought for my five-year-old son a TV. A TV? Yeah, to go in his bedroom. Wow. Like a generous present, but very inappropriate. There you go. Very generous, but I don't want that.

I don't want his room. Where did you put the TV? We actually put it in our spare room. We said that we made up some excuse, but yeah, definitely didn't go in his room. That's his TV watching room. He gets to watch TV in there. That's a good thing.

You can just say anything to kids and they'll believe you. Up until a certain age, you just enjoy those wonderful years where you can blatantly lie to kids and they'll believe you you know up until a certain age you just enjoy those wonderful years where you can blatantly lie to your children yeah I'm enjoying it do you know

I was at the supermarket yesterday just sitting in the car car park I saw this little toddler and uh lady came out and uh

handed the toddler a powerade what a real powerade oh okay this baby would have been it would have been a nappy I was like jeez that's going to have some pep in its real powerade. Oh, okay. This baby would have been a nappy.

I was like, jeez, that's going to have some pep in its step. Powerade. Berry powerade. Jeez. Maybe it'll let your lights below, I guess. I don't know if it's a thing for kids. That baby was loving their powerade. That's the main thing.

Charlotte, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Great to have you with us. Inappropriate kid gifts What have you got? So my friend gave my one year old son A drum kit Like a toy drum kit

And it's so noisy Every weekend I'm waking up to the noise of drums Well that's the thing When you give a gift like that When it's not your kid You're like great enjoy this Something with noises and batteries But then if you receive it You're like what horrific things Have I ever done to you in a gift like that, it's not your kid, you're like, great, enjoy this. Something with noises and batteries. But then if you receive it,

you're like, what horrific things have I ever done to you in a previous life? To deserve it. A drum kit? You're like, what, really? Yeah. She's a music teacher, so hopefully she gives him lessons

next year for his birthday. Well, next time I'll give you a triangle or something. You know, even that's too noisy. Yes, at least it's not the recorder. Yeah, that's true. But the only thing worse than drums is bagpipes, really. Oh, yeah. And aggravating instruments, I guess, for parents.

Yeah, but they're not easy to buy, as easy as drum kits. So there you go. We'll cross those off the list. Hey, good on you. Thank you very much, Charlotte. We could also get some Hell Pizza vouchers for Laura McGoldrick and Martin Gupta. Oh, my God, that's great. I know you're always like flicking out

Hell Pizza vouchers. Yeah, we'll flick out some Hell Pizza vouchers. In fact, why don't we flick them out a golf ball so they can get a chance of winning 10 grand? That is a wonderful baby present. I'm sure they'd like golf. They'd love golf. Do they love golf?

Yeah, I think they do. Yeah, they'd love golf. And some Hell Pizza vouchers. Yeah, right. Oh, jeez. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Hats.

We are heading to Taupo on Friday. We're going to try and win the hole-in-one, win $10,000 and give it away to you. And I was there last week

and I thought, should I give it a go? This is playing with fire because what if you landed in and he said, well, if I got it in, I'll play you the audio after 8 o'clock.

So he's left it until prime time. So potentially, we're about to hear him win 10 grand. And this was in my own time. Off the clock. Off the clock. The money is mine if I got it in.

I have my family there, my wife, my two little girls were there. They were there supporting me. Were they going to get any of this money if you left it at home? No, it was fine, mate. They weren't hitting the golf ball. That was me. And this is what happened. Okay, here we are, Lake Taupo.

I'm going to have a go right now. Where are we going to be next week? What do you reckon, guys? What, we're going to get it in? No, not even close. What? Hang on. If I get it in today, I get the money, okay? That's the deal. Fine, you're not getting it in. That's been positive. Okay, here we go.

Hold my phone. We're going to have a go. He's not going to get it in. Oh, he smacked it. Oh my gosh, it's actually really close. Nailed it. Nailed it. No, it wasn't. No, you didn't get it in. Oh, he smacked it. Oh, my gosh. It's actually really close. Nailed it. Nailed it. No, it wasn't. No, you didn't get it in. It's radio.

It's too short. It's radio. No. Let's do it one. Take two for radio. We got it in. No, you didn't get it in. No.

He's lying. Okay. Thanks for supporting me, family. You left in the raw audio, Ben. I know, yeah. Yeah. I couldn't quite edit it together to sound like I got it in because no one cheered except for me.

No one was going to play the game. No, so I didn't get it in. It's actually quite tough. A lot tougher than you get that. Yeah, well, I mean, the franchise isn't going to set up a very easy thing for anyone who rocks up just with a 10 grand. It'll be a shocking business model. Yeah, well, because on a golf course, you can hit a good shot

and you can go, oh, yeah, it's okay, but it can be off to the side a bit more, but in this, you just want to hit the pontoon, obviously. Oh, mate, we have been given a lot of false hope

on this journey by people who are like, you're going to do it, you're going to get it in. We're not. Imagine if we do, though. I know, there's still a chance

and that's the beautiful thing about it. And even if we don't, Boss Todd is going to give away $10,000. So if you want a golf ball, should we give a quick one away now? Let's do it now. I see 0800 the hits.

If you want one of the golf balls, we could be winning you $10,000. I see Lotto tried to outshine us with their $2,000 draw on Saturday. Take your time in the sun, Lotto. It's time for our balls to shine in the sun. Alright? Let our balls have some fun. That's right. Let the scrutineers check

out our balls. You've been at it. You've had it for years. Just give us a couple of weeks. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hatch. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling every town and city in New Zealand.

We do one a day that we're on the radio. We're doing it alphabetically, and it's going to take us over two years to call every town and city in New Zealand. And we've hit the H's. H. The Aussies like doing've hit the H's. H. The Aussies like doing that, don't they? H. Yeah, they do.

Yeah. It makes the letter more enjoyable to say when you say it like that. H. Hakataramia is a rural village located in southern Canterbury. Now, it's very close, I understand, to Kura, which is home to... Oh, the great Richie McCaw. The great Richie McCaw. That's his birth name. When he came out, they were like, to... Oh, the great Richie McCaw. The great Richie McCaw. That's his first name.

When he came out, they were like, we'll name him the great Richie McCaw. He didn't want to be knighted, so we'll just call him the great Richie McCaw. The great Richie McCaw. Only 20 people in Hakataramia. 20 people. They couldn't even field a full...

Oh, they could field a full rugby team, but the grandparents would have to be the reserves. Yeah. Sitting on the benches. Very small town, and we're going to head through there now. Hey, how's it going? This is Rich Quiggan. Hello, Rich. How you going? Good. Have we got hold of

Haka Taramia? You have? Yep, good. Great to have you on. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Rich? Oh, yeah. And we're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're painstakingly doing it, painstakingly doing one per day. And it's Hakata Ramea's turn. G'day.

Yeah, so what can you tell us about the place? That's Richie McCaw country, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. That's the most famous bit we've got in the area at the moment. You're rich as well, though, are you? Yeah. Are you a Richie as well, or is there only one richie from there? Oh, only one of them, yeah.

And we're speaking to him. The other guy, I don't know what he's done with his life, but I know what you've done with your life, Rich. Yeah, exactly. What can we do if we head to your part of paradise? We've got an amazing cycle trail in this area now, Alps to Ocean. Yeah, yeah. So from Mount Cook right down to the sea to this area now, Alps to Ocean. Yeah, yeah.

So from Mount Cook right down to the sea, to Oamaru, it's pretty amazing. Oh, nice. So you're close to Mount Cook? No, it's way up. No. No, Ben. So you know your geography.

No, clearly not. Well, you're some sort of two-bit Auckland soy sucking. Don't mention Auckland. Don't say Auckland. Where's Auckland? Has that got a crook bridge or something? Something wrong with the bridge up there? That was weeks ago.

We've forgotten about that now. And hey, we might have a little bit of COVID, but don't judge us. Yeah, a bit of that. Yeah. Now tell me, the less successful Richie, does he come into town often? Not very often.

He normally keeps pretty low key if he does. Yeah, right. And what do you do in your spare time, Rich? Play golf. Oh, do you know what we're trying to do? You won't believe this. Unbelievable. I haven't even told you it's already unbelievable.

He doesn't believe it. Do you know what we're doing? We're going to Lake Taupo, and we're trying to get a hole-in-one on that pontoon out on the lake. Oh, yeah? We're trying to win $10,000. Have you ever get a hole-in-one on that pontoon out on the lake. Oh yeah? Yep. We're trying to win $10,000. Have you ever had

a hole-in-one, Rich? No, that's my, before I die, that's why I play golf every week. You never know when it's going to come along. Have you got close?

Yep, a few times, but yeah, never. In the wrong hole there last year. I can imagine you, like, even if you got a hole-in-one, you'd just be like,

yep, bloody good, and then carry on. I can imagine that would be your emotions. Yep, that'd be it. Let's just do a little bit of role play here. Talk to us if there's a sad Rich. So if you're sad, say, Rich, unfortunately I just crashed my car into yours.

Sorry about that. Did you? Alright, and then talk to us if it's happy, Rich. Hey, Rich, happy birthday. Thanks, and then talk to us if it's happy, Rich. Hey, Rich, happy birthday. Thanks, mate. Talk to us if there's angry, Rich. Oh, Rich, you won't believe it.

The other Rich who's come into town and stealing your thunder. Not likely. See, what a range of emotions. Rich, you're a good sport,

bloody good sport. In fact, hold there, I'm going to allocate you one of our golf balls. If we get your ball in, we'll give you $10,000, all right? Sounds bloody good to me. All right, there you go.

Good on you, Rich. He's perked up now, isn't he? Yeah, that's the most emotion you're going to get. It's the happiest you're going to ever hear, Rich. Yeah, I'll shout it for you if that happens. I love your work, Rich. Hold there, mate. Okay.

Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. This Friday, we're going to be in Taupo and we're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls, Jono and I, to see if we can get a hole in one. And if we get it, we're giving that 10 grand prize money away to one of you guys. Yeah, and more chances to win one of those balls at 8 o'clock this morning. New Zealand's top golfer, though, at the moment, arguably, is Ryan Fox.

He's on tour at the moment and we wanted some golfing advice and we wanted to know, what does the fox say? What does the fox say? And we only got him on the show just so we could play that. Well, I forgot about it. I remembered it after it because we caught up with him this morning over Zoom. I was like, oh, we should have done the what does the fox say. Oh, that's right.

You're doing it now. You're still getting some air time. Yeah, well, we did catch up with Ryan Fox. He's overseas, and we caught up with him on Zoom this morning. Hey. Oh, yeah, not bad. A bit bored in the hotel room as usual. Whereabouts are you?

I'm in Scotland. See, the novelty of hotel rooms would never wear off for me. Paying way too much for little packs of Pringles and chocolate bars. Yeah. Yeah, try being confined to them for basically the last 12 weeks. Oh, really? Yeah, because what's it like for basically the last 12 weeks. Oh, really? So, yeah, because what's it like? You just played the US Open.

What are the restrictions like at the moment with everything going on in the world? Well, like the US was okay. Like for us, tournament-wise, we literally got tested. Once you're negative, you were fine and you could go out and do whatever you want. You were just kind of, I guess, be careful, don't do anything stupid. Whereas in Europe, where we are at the moment, it's you check into the hotel, you've got to eat at the hotel,

you can't leave, you can't have dinner with anyone, basically, and then you go to the golf course. That's it. Oh, what a fun time. Yeah, I'm sick of my own company, I can tell you that. How many, how much Netflix have you watched?

I've watched a bit. I bought my Xbox with me, which might have been one of the smartest things I've ever done, to be honest. Do you get worried? I get worried because the crowds, they kind of stand in front of you almost. I mean, you know, you've got to hit it straight. Are you ever worried you're going to hit the board towards someone? Oh, I've hit plenty of people in the 10 years I've been a pro so far.

Oh, really? Probably. Yeah, the funniest one I had was at the US Open last year, which was in California. And I duck hooked one off a tee. It was a terrible tee shot. Walk up and there's thousands of people to the left of this tee box.

And it somehow missed everyone, hit a golf cart in the middle of this group of people, popped up, and a girl standing there on her phone and the balls popped off the golf cart, there on her phone and the balls popped off the golf cart, landed on her phone and rolled and sat on her screen. What?

She stood there for 10 minutes waiting for me to turn up so I could grab my ball off her phone, drop it onto a car park and onto the grass. I mean, that's a tournament winner. You pull a trick shot like that. Hook it, bouncing off a golf cart onto a lady's phone. That's like, give them a couple ready.

Yeah, if only it worked like that. You're trying to stay away from people for the most part. Yeah, I mean, it's not a great look of every tournament. You're going out and just shanking balls. Now, Ryan Fox, we want to go to Lake Taupo, Jono and I, and we want to try and win the hole-in-one to win $10,000 to give away to a listener. You've got five hole-in-ones, I understand, but none professionally in a game. Is that right?

Yeah, so the last one I had was nine years ago now, I think. So do most of the pros throughout their career at some point land a hole-in-one or have you just been very lucky? No, I think most guys do. I mean, there's very rare guys that, you know, could play 500 events on tour and not have one. You know, they've definitely had them in practice at some level. You know, they get guys like Miguel Angel Jimenez

who's had something like 20 or 21 on tour. You know, God knows how many he's had outside of that. So it's purely luck, to be honest. You've got to hit a good shot. But for the ball to actually go in, there's a fair bit of luck involved. So we've got 1,000 golf balls between us, 1,000 shots. Do you think it's possible that one of us could fluke a hole-in-one? By the way, we've never played golf.

Yeah, and we're not as good as you. I'm not going to say it's not possible, but it's highly unlikely. I don't know if you've seen it. The European Tour had a 500-shot challenge for a hole-in-one, and they've done it, I think, four times, and only one of the pros got it.

Oh, but these are professionals. Yeah, they're worth a watch. They're on YouTube somewhere, but there's a whole lot of frustration for 500 shots a player for a day, lots of shots that go really, really close. Yeah, I'd say you guys sort of have your work cut out for you there. Well, that's the confidence we need. That's the confidence boost we need.

What about fatigue? Do you reckon we have more chance getting it earlier on than later? Like, will we get fatigued? Will we get tired? I think the thing that will hurt you later on will be frustration more than anything. Right, okay. I mean, this game will get you at the best of times, but trying to hit 1,000 shots at the same target

and, you know, getting close a couple of times and everything else, I think mentally you'll be pretty annoyed at the end of the day. For memory, it's not a very long shot at Taupo. I think it's only 100 metres or something like that. So you should be okay. If you're ripping driver at it all day, maybe you'd get some sore hands, but I think you'll be all right with a wedge or something like that. How many golf holes have you played

and you remember the distance at the novelty Lake Taupo one? I don't know, to be honest. Yeah, I've had a fair few cracks at it and been extremely frustrated. So, yeah, I kind of feel for you guys trying to do it a thousand times. Hey, Ryan Fox. Hey, listen, well, thank you very much for your time. Thank you so much for that confidence boost as well. The honesty.

The honesty. I mean, that's what you need. You need honesty. Yeah, you do. You're right. You know, we can't go in there with false hopes. And so I think we're pretty much going to spend two days wasting our time hitting 1,000 balls and not getting any in.

Well, thanks, guys. I wish you all the best. I sincerely hope you get it. It'll be a good story. But, yeah, just try not to let that frustration get the better of you, please. There's some great advice for us from Ryan Fox, New Zealand's number one golfer. We're hitting Lake Taupo on Friday. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on my hips. Bye. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla puppet. They tell me she's the real reasons the Kardashian have cancelled because they were afraid of what ruthless skeleton she was going to expose from their closet. Producer Juliette. Now, over the weekend, a video by the royal family was released, and I think I dropped

my phone when I saw it. You're a big royalist. Big royalist. And so it's a video of Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and little Prince Louis asking- Who I didn't know existed. No. No, you didn't, did you? Well done, Louis.

Welcome. Welcome to my life. And they're asking David Attenborough some questions, and it's the first time they've all been heard, and I was like, oh, my God, it's their voices. I'm so excited right now. I bet they're dumb questions, because they're dumb little kids.

No, they're cute. They're cute. They're so cute. Here, have a listen. Hello, David Attenborough. What animal do you think will become extinct next? Hello, David Attenborough. What animal do you think will become extinct next? Hello, David Attenborough. I like spiders.

Do you like spiders too? What animal do you like? That last one was Prince Louis. What animal do you like? Yeah, but he doubled down on the middle question too. Yeah. No, cute. That is adorable.

So cute. Hello, David Attenborough. Like a little character from Paddington Bear or something. Yes. Sweet little charming British voice. I know, so cute. And so I think it's to celebrate, well, part of it to celebrate his new documentary that's coming out on Netflix as well.

I love it how all you did was play the questions for the kids, but you don't even give David Attenborough the respect of his response. No, he doesn't matter. He's like, I'm not answering your stupid kids' questions. Dumb kids, how do I hang up this thing? Yeah, exactly. Never worked the Zoom. No, no. Oh, that's adorable. That is adorable, how do I hang up this thing? Yeah, exactly. Never work the Zoom. Oh, that's adorable.

That is adorable. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And that is Spy. And that's thanks to Old El Paso. You can launch into some S3 Mexican with their new tortilla pocket. Did David Attenborough

have anything interesting in his answers or not? Well, yeah, he said he loved spiders and that we shouldn't be afraid of them. He said his favourite animal was a monkey.

And with Prince George's question, he kind of avoided it like a politician. Oh yeah, the extinct one. Yeah, right. Yeah, so George asked what animal he thinks will become extinct next

and he was like, well, you know, there have been situations where animals have been close to extinction but we've helped them and they're fine now. That was definitely the question

that the parents wrote for him. Like, you know when you're handy and you go to a school bloody wearable arts event and it's like, well, the parents have made all these. Will's definitely slid that one into his pocket. Exactly, exactly.

Thank you, Juliet. No worries. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. This week we're trying to win you guys $10,000. We wanted to give away some prize money, so we're going to the Hole-in-One in Taupo and we're going to try and win the $10,000. We wanted to give away some prize money, so we're going to the Hole-in-One in Taupo,

and we're going to try and win the $10,000 on Friday. We're going to hit 1,000 balls between us. We may even still be hitting balls on Saturday. Yeah, sounds like we're going to do a doubleheader, Ben. I wouldn't have minded to wrap it up Friday. We'll see how quickly we can get through the balls, but if not, we can keep blugging away, trying to hit $10,000.

And regardless, each ball is going to be dedicated to a listener that you can win. If we land that ball in, you win the 10 grand, obviously. But if we don't sink any balls, Boss Todd, wonderful Australian with a generous heart, full of kangaroos and koalas and Sydney Opera Houses and other Australian references, he's going to give away the 10 grand regardless. Which, I guess when you think about it, makes our trip to Taupo redundant.

Well, yeah, you're probably right. But if we get a hold of one in Taupo, you know, it's a great thing. Imagine that. I know, but we can cut out the middleman and just give away the money next. But we wouldn't have got the 10 grand without this. This is the way to do this.

We can't just go, hey, Todd, can we have 10 grand? We basically talked him into this because we're doing this. We bullied him into it. Yeah. You're right. You've talked me around, Ben. From time to time, we like to make a phone call and see how much of the jargon to do with the subject

we can get into the phone conversation. Previously, we've done election jargon while trying to book a table at a restaurant. We did rugby jargon when Super Rugby Aotearoa kicked off. And today, we thought it appropriate that we do golf jargon. And, Ben, you're looking like you're on good form this morning, my friend. Okay, yeah. Okay.

So you're going to hold up some pieces of paper with some golf terms on it, like birdie, slice, bunker, things like that. Club. And I've got to try and work these into the conversation, do I? Yeah, good luck. All right. A bell will sound every time you land one, okay? Okay.

Hello, Poppy's Cafe, Annika speaking. Oh, hi. Is that Poppy's Cafe? Yep, it is. Ah, a little birdie told me you're a great cafe. Yes, we are. Are you open for lunch in the weekend? Yes, we are.

Oh, that's good. We close at 3.30. Oh, good, because I was going to flag it, but I thought, why not? I'll come along this weekend. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's easy to bunker down at the moment, isn't it? But, you know, it's good to get out and about. Yep, definitely.

Do you do bagels? Yes, we do. You know those things with a hole in one? Yes. Yeah, you're good. And what about cake? Do you do that by the slice? Yes, we do.

Or we do full cakes as well. Ah, sounds like we'll be having a ball. That's great. Okay. Is it a long drive from my house? Actually, you probably don't know where I live. No, I don't. How far from town are you?

We're in town. Oh, so it's not a fair way to go. That's good. That's good to know. No, right in town. Oh, so it's not a fair way to go. That's good. That's good to know. No pride in town. Good, good. I might bring the whole family. Mum, pa, my sisters.

Yep. Yep, good. Yeah, that's fine. I have to pick them up because I'm always the driver. You know how it is. Oh, fair enough. Yeah. Okay, of course.

Of course, of course. Anyway, I was going to bring my best friend, Jono, but he's super tight with money, so he usually doesn't chip in. Oh, fair and speakle. There's a bit of a gulf between us right now, and that's all the golf puns I can work into this conversation. Please help me out, Jono. Oh, he's not talking. Oh, don't do this.

Has he gone shy? Yeah, he does this. He pretends he's not here. Hello? No, don't. What's going on here? Don't do this again. Hi, he does this. Pretends he's not here. Hello? What's going on here? Hi, who's this? Annika?

Hi, Annika. What was Ben doing? I've just been out of the room. I don't know what's going on. Sorry, it's Jono and Ben here. Sorry, I've just come back in. Oh my gosh, now I know what's going on. He was making me insert golf puns into the conversation. Oh, my gosh. I didn't realise that.

Now I've just clicked. I wasn't. I don't know what he's talking about. Am I on the radio? Listen, I didn't hear any of the call because I was out of the room. So I don't know what he was doing. Was he prank calling you? Was he?

No. He was saying you were tight. You were tight. Yeah, he is very tight. He doesn't chip in. Why were you harassing Annika? Don't do this. Annika, you hold the line.

We're going to send you out something and give you a chance to hopefully win $10,000. Do I? Yeah, well, hope not. Oh, no, no, no, no. You've got a chance. You're in the draw. You're in the draw. That's better than nothing.

Yeah, this would be a very costly phone call if we had to give you $10,000. Okay, cool. Hold the line. We'll find something else for you as well. You're a good sport. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We like to play a game called Don't Call Us, We'll

Call You. It's a surprise game show. We phone people at random and bark questions down the phone. We basically wake people up and bark questions at them like an early morning police raid, isn't it? With less consequences. But they can win big if they just tolerate us and answer some questions. So where are we going this morning?

Today, my friend, we're heading to the South Island, a young motelier, they tell me, in Gore. Okay. Good morning, this is from Gore, Annie speaking. Annie. Yes. Are you standing up? Yep. Well, then it's time to come on down,

because guess what, Annie? What? Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Yep. And we're playing a little game that we like to do called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Okay, so we're going to ask you four questions, and what's she going to receive for her efforts today, Ben? A hell pizza.

We've got $40 hell pizza just for answering some easy questions. Okay. Does that sound like a bit of you, Annie? All right, Annie, here's your first question. National leader Judith Collins, she's got a nickname. What is it? A. A?

Yeah. Oh, you're almost swearing there, but I'll give you some multi-choice before you do a load of F-bombs. Okay, okay. I'll give you some bombs before you drop an F-bomb. A, is it Crusher Collins, B, Flusher Collins, or C, Gusher Collins? A. Crusher Collins is right.

Well done. $10 hell pizza, just like that. Here's your next question. Who sings the New Zealand classic anthem loyal? Is it A, Benny, B, Eggs Benny, or C, Dave Dobbin? C. Dave Dobbin. Yeah, Dave Dobbin.

Well done. Annie, could you do me a favour and stop, drop and roll, because you are on fire. Okay. Just taking it in a stride. Yeah, I like it. If I was in Ferndale, where would I be? A, Coronation Street, B, Shortland Street, or C, Struggle Street?

B. Shortland Street. Well done. Even with something going on in the background, you nailed that one. You've got $30. Hell, pizza, here's your final question. And what is the name of the Parliament building? Is it A, the politician pit, B, the beehive, or C, the extramarital love nest?

It's B, but it should be A and C. Well, there you go, Andy. You've got $40 hell pizza just like that. Very good. Yeah, good. I don't think you're sold on the fact that you've won. No. No, well, we live in Taipi and we haven't got any pizza shops here.

Oh, well, I tell you what, we'll send you out because I know what you love in Taiapi. How about one single gumboot? Oh, that'll be okay. I could go and throw it. You could go and throw it. Yeah, yeah.

Does everyone in Taiapi throw gumboots? Yes. People in Taiapi throw gumboots. Yep. She's having to dodge them at the moment. They're flying all around the place. Do they still have the gumboot national throwing competition? Yes, they in Taiapia throw gumboots. Yep, she's having to dodge them at the moment. They're flying all around the place. Do they still have the Gumboot National Throwing Competition? Yes, they certainly do.

Well, you can answer four questions correctly. You've got some hell pizza. You hold the line, we'll send that out to you, okay? Okay, cheers. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's growing through your feed. I tell you what, when there's a slow news day,

this man just makes the news up. In fact, his commitment to the segment, he flew to Washington, gave President Trump COVID just so we would have something to talk about

in scrolling through your feed. Here's Ben Boyce. Well, as you said, yeah, President Donald Trump's got COVID. As if 2020 couldn't get any stranger,

that news came through over the weekend and as you said before, whether you like him or you don't, or you dislike him, you don't wish that upon anyone. No, you don't. Although, if anyone was susceptible to it,

it was probably the man who refused to wear a mask in the initial stages, was denying it was a thing. He was quite casual about it, wasn't he? Very blasé. Very blasé. Some may say just desserts, but again, 75 years old and vulnerable, man. Yeah. You know, it's like my father's age.

We're worried about my dad getting it. He's quite chesty. Not in a good way, Ben. Not in the way you like. What was that? Oh, no, I always hear you go, oh, there's a chesty one. But my dad. Oh, we've gone back to slander on that.

Sorry, yeah, I know. It's only day one. We're back to... I'm more phlegm-based, my father. Yeah. Not voluptuous. Well, the latest on President Donald Trump this morning, his team of doctors have said he's doing well

after his diagnosis and he could be discharged as early as Tuesday. He received a second dose of experimental drugs. Now, I was speaking to someone over the weekend... Oh, that's who you should give the experimental drugs to, the president. Someone in America over the weekend, I was just messaging them,

and their theory was that he doesn't have it. They were like, he doesn't have it. But he's got to come out of it, and he's got to look amazing off the back of it, and he's got to win the election because they're like, Donald Trump fought coronavirus, and he won. I was like, yeah.

Oh, that's great. Now, is he not a fan of Donald Trump? They live in the States. Now, he was like, everything he coronavirus and he won. I was like, yeah. Oh, that was great. Now is he not a fan of Donald Trump? They live in the States. Now he was like, everything he said is a lie. Why do we believe that he's... Because it's taken all the attention of Biden after that first debate. No one's talking about Biden.

Surely that wouldn't be the case. Surely you can't go... He single-handedly destroyed coronavirus. You can't go to that level of... So anyway... I saw outside the hospital that he's based, all of his level-headed supporters are out there with Trump signs. Trump 2020.

And then there was a guy on the news with a loud hailer, and he was chanting, the best chant ever. Get well soon. Get well soon. Get well soon. Get well soon. Get well soon. Get well soon. He had soon. Get well soon. Get well soon. Get well soon.

He had a Make America Great Again hat on and a mullet, and he was chanting away, get well soon. I've never heard a get well soon chant. You know, usually chants are quite aggressive, aren't they? Yeah, well, it sounds aggressive, but it's a lovely message. Get well soon. Beautiful. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. You know, we should do it for all of you. You're like, all right. Yeah. It was a lovely touch. Lovely touch. I birthday. We should do it for all of you. You're like, all right. Yeah. It was a lovely touch. Lovely touch. I'm sure the president appreciated that. And of course, today the government are going to decide,

speaking of COVID-related news, if Auckland is going to move out of Alert Level 2 and join the rest of the country at Alert Level 1. You went to Taupo over the weekend. Over the weekend. And it was like no one had it there. It wasn't even a thing. I guess they haven't been out of, they didn't have that second lockdown. I was talking to someone and they was like no one had it there. It wasn't even a thing. I guess they haven't been out of,

they didn't have that second lockdown. I was talking to someone and I was saying, oh, are you worried about COVID? And they go, oh, it's an Auckland thing. I'm like, it's not an Auckland thing. It's not an Auckland thing. It's like pretty much a worldwide thing. It's a pretentious Auckland thing.

Thinking they're better than everyone else. It's everywhere. It's an Auckland thing. Well, producer Humphrey, you went back to Southland, didn't you? Is it a thing? Nothing. Not even spoken about. Don't even know how to spell COVID. That's how much of a

not a thing it is anywhere else. But yeah, hopefully we get back to level one because there's a lot of disdain out there for Auckland generally, you know. But then you chuck excessive coverage about a broken bridge and COVID-related news on top, then people really don't like Auckland.

You know, I'm afraid to say I'm from here. Don't say that. Ben's been living here for 30 years and he still says I'm originally from Arsenal. That's right. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

For... Jono and Ben's 10K Teos. This week, Thursday, we're heading to Taupo. On Friday, we're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls. I think it might take us more than just frost. It's a spillover onto Saturday as well. Yeah, it's impeding on the weekend as well, Ben. Don't worry about that. It's a two-day bonanza, my friend.

Unless we get a hole-in-one. That's true. We we'll win very quickly. We're going to be hitting golf balls into the world-famous hole-in-one competition they have on the lake. There's $10,000 prize money, and if we get a hole-in-one, we're going to give it away. Yeah, so we've got 1,000 balls to give away. They've been giving away all through last week as well,

and each ball will be allocated to one of you, the fine listeners to the hits. And if we get your ball in, you win the 10k. However, even if we don't get any of the balls in, we'll give away that money regardless next Monday. This time next Monday. So I think Aaron's on the phone right now. He's got a bit of advice for us. How are you, mate? Yeah, you got a hole

in one, Aaron? I've had a couple actually, John. What? Wow. Yeah, so the Mighty Omanu Golf Club in Mount Ponganui. I got my first one in 06. It was a funny old day.

I'd gone for a job interview and got a call about 11 o'clock that morning and secured the job. So I thought, bugger it, I'll go and have

a round of golf. And it just so happened on the 14th, I played a nice little six iron in there and one bounce and then she went. What a great day for you. Yeah, absolutely. You chalked that up as a winner. That was a win that day.

New job, hole of one. And then you got another one. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was 2012 and it was just a Saturday event with the lad and if I'm completely honest with you, mate, I actually hit it pretty thin, and it was looking like it was heading towards the bunker. And it did. It hit the top of the bunker, scooted right, rolled up, and then straight in the hole, mate.

So there we go. He's had a double. A double hit at Aaron in Mount Maunganui. And if that doesn't put some fire in your skinny little belly, Ben, boys, I don't know what else can. Well, yeah, it's possible. I guess it is possible. Thank you so much, Aaron.

Cheers for listening. All right, mate. Good on you. We'll give you a golf ball, Aaron. All right. In the draw, buddy. And let's go to Tauranga, still in Tauranga. Sharon, welcome.

How are you? Good, thank you. You want a ball? Yes, please. Tell me, give me three words why you deserve a ball. Three words. Ben will get. Ben will get. Ben will get.

Maybe I should have given you. You know, when things get hard, when we're tired, I'm going to remember those inspirational words. Ben will get. I appreciate it. Ben will get. Well, love your work, Sharon. Thank you for listening.

Judy, welcome from Auckland. You want a ball, Judes? I'd love a ball. I'm going to give you two words then. Why do you deserve it? I'm awesome. Oh, yeah, good words. Good use of those words.

All right, well, you get a golf ball and hopefully you can be winning our $10,000 whether we get a hole-in-one or not. And we'll go through a couple more quickly. Sandy, how are you? Good morning. Good morning, how are you? We're doing well, mate.

Lovely to hear your sweet tones at this early hour of the morning. Sandy, I'm going to give you four words. Why do you deserve a golf ball? Confidence in you. Confidence in you. You've still got another word, don't you? Oh, no, no, no. In you is one word.

Thank you, Sandy. And Shaz and Wonganui, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. I'm going to give you one word. Why do you deserve a ball, Shaz? Sav. Sav? Sav. Sav? Sav, okay. Again, I should probably have given you more words

so we could have understood. You don't know what that means, but again, you've just got a ball and that's the main thing, okay? Cheers, boys. You're going to have a lovely week. You too. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, you know, last week drove away to the Coromandel, you know, a beautiful part of the country, and I was driving by myself at night. Because for whatever reason, when you go away and you've got kids, they just decide on taking everything from the house. And they

use nothing. Right. You know, I took, like, scooters and bikes, and I didn't go scooters or biking once. Oh God, anyway that doesn't matter. That's the reason that I was driving by myself Ben. It was me and just a car load of scooters and bikes. Just taking all that and your family don't want to travel with you.

Yeah, I've been two hours in a car with me. I wouldn't wish that upon you. Maybe the life, much more stuff when we get in so we can drive by. Yeah, the scooters. We should take the couch. Yeah, we'll put the couch in. And the outdoor furniture as well. There's still a spare seat

in the front. No, no, no. Put something else in there. Pop lads. Pop lads. We can put some pop lads in there. So anyway,

and you know I don't need... I'm driving with you too. You're going to start. You don't want to go to Topol with me this week, do you? No. We should take the desk from the radio studio

just so we don't all have to go with Jono. Okay, guys, I'll take the desk. But anyway, so it was at night time, and I was like, you know, I don't generally eat during the day, Ben, so I was quite hungry. Yeah. And sometimes in life,

you're just hankering for some questionably graded petrol station food. Right, yeah. You know? And so I went in and I got, it was an array of wonderful food. Cordon Bleu. Petrol station Cordon Bleu.

Have you had Cordon Bleu from a petrol station? No, I haven't. It's one of those things that you see in the counter and you're like, who the hell is buying this? You. Well, I did. Yeah. I did.

And it was delicious. That was really good. Petrol station Cordon Bleu. You wouldn't think it would be. It doesn't sound advertising, but it was great. And you know, greasy chicken, greasy cordon bleu, and a greasy bacon and egg pie. But I'm eating and driving.

This is not ideal driving and eating food. Right. You know, a bag of chips is ideal driving and eating food. Cordon bleu. If you try driving a car down a motorway and eating a cordon bleu. No, you could have just eaten it bleakly outside the petrol station. Just crying with the bikes and the couches in my car. Oh, they've kicked him out of home.

It's quite sad to see him like this. But now, my hands were so greasy that my steering wheel now is like covered in three layers. So what I am pitching for you is for you to come and rub your hands over my steering wheel and put that in your hair, and I believe it will hold till Christmas. There's enough grease. Enough chicken cordon bleu grease on there for you, my friend. What's your driving food?

Probably like almonds and apricots or something, is it? A little bit of trail mix and stuff. No. Do you eat while driving? Not normally. Like maybe a takeaway coffee or some candy.

Candy? I treat myself to candy on road trips. What's your driving food? I tried to eat fritters on the

way home from work once when I was just in a rush to go home. Fritters? But I'd cooked them horrendously so they were

crumbling everywhere and they went all over myself. What about corn fritters? I thought my corn on blue was risky. A little bit of sour cream and they went all over myself and it was just... What, like corn fritters? Yeah. I thought my corn on blue was risky. A little bit of sour cream

and relish to try to dip that in as you go. Put a plate and a knife in four. Some people are like really not concentrating on the roads, are they? Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket.

No, you've still got your bloody segment sponsor, do we, Producer Juliet? I think so. I actually need to double-check if that's still going on. Someone's making bank for the company. Well done, company person, company person. Well done to you. Now for your hourly update of soulless celebrity gossip,

Producer Juliet with Spy. Thank you. Now, this news came out over the weekend, I think, and I was very, very excited. And I think when the first movie came out, I was probably a bit too young to watch it, but I watched it anyway. And that is Borat.

So Borat 2 is now a thing. How long ago was the first one? I think it was in 2006. You're right. Wow, I was year three. I was so young. Did you watch it? Maybe not when it came out.

Maybe I was a little bit older. That was some shocking parenting on your parents' behalf. Yeah. The only thing I remember from that first one is there was a wild craze of everyone wearing that mankini. Yeah. You know, you go radio pranks and oh,

and I'll tell you what, I wore it once and not flattering. Well, now I see on one of the pictures for the movie, Borat 2, because it says wear a mask, everyone wears a mask well he's wearing a mask like the man can. Which even less you just think of a face mask, a disposable

face mask you put around you. Oh he's put it down. How's he looped it around his shoulders? It must have got extra elastic on there. His body is working hard to make that happen. Yeah so this is a little bit of the man. But it's like, yeah, it's not. His body is working hard to make that happen. Yeah, so this is a little bit of the trailer. It basically follows him.

He goes to America. And because Borat is such a big deal, he goes under disguise. And it's during the coronavirus pandemic. Where is everybody? They're wanting everybody to quarantine so they don't spread this virus. Could I stay in your home?

I hope quarantine never end. What is more dangerous, this virus or the Democrats? Democrats. So did he lock down with some rednecks, did he? Yeah. He does. Oh, what friendly rednecks letting him in? And it looks like he sort of ambushed

Mike Pence, who's the Deputy President, Vice President in America. He had a big speech and he sort of ambushed Mike Pence, who's the deputy president, vice president in America. He had a big speech and he sort of came in here dressed as Donald Trump. So, yeah, he's up to his old... With like a doll slung around his arms or something. Yeah, I think it was his daughter. Oh, that's his daughter. In the movie.

So, offering his daughter up to Mike. Yeah. Jeez, I tell you, could you pull that off? Oh, no. You just need to just go. He's got balls and you've seen them in the mankini, haven't you? That is true. And on the similar subject of presidents and things like that,

Chelsea Clinton, she used to be good friends with Ivanka Trump. And I think Trump was good friends with Bill and Hillary Clinton for many years. And so they were all good mates, even during the last election when it was Hillary and Trump against each other. But now Chelsea Clinton is like daggers to Ivanka Trump, basically saying she can't be friends with Ivanka anymore, hasn't spoken to her since 2016. Well, to be fair, Ivanka's in the White House.

She's doing stuff. She hasn't got time to catch up. True. And I'm shocking and catching up with my friends. I'm just a low-level radio announcer. Yeah, true. They don't have a job in the White House. Chelsea might just be a bit jealous that Ivanka's in the White House and she's not.

I see. It's an illicit friendship, though, isn't it? So like us, we could never be friends with Gary McCormick from More FM. Would never happen. Radio is life. I'm slandering him all the time. I will die for the hits. Bleed for the hits.

But no. I got into a hole, actually, just as you were teasing him all the time. I'll die for the hits. Bleed for the hits. But no. I got into a hole actually just as you were teasing that during the song, Juju, of seven things you didn't know about Ivanka Trump. Here we go. Would you like to?

I love it. I don't want to know all seven. You don't want to know all seven? You just want the big bangers? No, not at 342 in this chat. Okay. Okay. I'll pick one mildly interesting thing.

Oh, you can tell. Have you got a couple? Oh, so I'm allowed two? Yeah. Okay. Are they good? All right. Oh, now there's pressure on them.

Pick your favourite couple. Ivanka's not actually a real name. She shares her mother's name, Ivana, which is Czech, but it's like Ivanka to Ivana is like Bobby to Robert. So it's almost like a nickname. Oh, right. And then check. Was that interesting?

Was that okay for you? Yes. That justified the extra time in this break? Yeah, loved it. And she is... I've just been coming and going, we've got seven things. You're like, oh, I'm switching off

and I'm part of this show. Going to be here for another four minutes. I know, I've lost confidence. That first one was good. He's trolling me live he's my co-host we're meant to be on this journey together

the second thing is love listen to him anyway that's the end of those seven facts okay I'm always going to be

wondering about what that second one is I'm going to do a special podcast of all seven facts I'll get that I'll be on the podcast I'll start the podcast

with the six other facts. Yeah, on iHeartRadio. Everyone will be tuning in for that. And that is five things to Old El Paso. They've got some new tortilla pockets so you can launch into some mess-free Mexican. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hats.

The government, of course, today decides if Auckland will move down from Alert Level 2 on Wednesday, join the rest of the country at Alert Level 1. As I was saying earlier in the show when I was down the line, people were like, oh, COVID's just an Auckland thing. It's not an Auckland thing.

So, well, no, it's kind of a worldwide thing. Fair enough. It is just an Auckland thing. We don't need to wear a mask. Yeah, it's an Auckland thing. Tell you what is an Auckland thing, the Harbour Bridge. And that will be reopened, apparently,

end of the week, all eight lanes. Oh, there you go. That's an Auckland thing. Some more reasons for New Zealand to end of the week, all eight lanes. There you go. That's a good thing. Some more reasons for New Zealand to hate Auckland there, Ben, with that coverage there. Every time you mention the Harbour Bridge, I just feel people going, ugh, stop talking about your stupid dumb bridge and your stupid coronavirus. Now we want to talk about why it's going to be a good day.

Hey, feeling good? Want to get your day started right. So this is what we like to do. I missed this while I was away, actually, this segment. Did you? Yeah, I did. Okay.

Okay, you know. Well, it makes me feel good. You should have just done it with your family every day at five to nine. Why is today going to be a good day? And they're like, oh, shut up, Dad.

Tell us more about the Harbour Bridge. Tracey's on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Why is it going to be a good day in Stratford, Trace? Well, I had a knee op not long ago, so I'm going to go outside and push myself for a walk and throw a few stairs in there.

Oh, you're going to some stairs. Oh, taking the new knee for a run, are we? Yes, we are. Or a walk. I don't know about the run. It'd be more like a crawl. I think if you do stairs and a new knee, it'd be tough. Yes. Yes.

Have you got one of those cool knees that makes noises when you move it? Well, sometimes. Oh, right. I was hoping for some radio with your knee, but I won't push you to do that. You've got other stuff on your plate. Or when you're kneeling down and you can feel it. Yes. Nothing worse than you don't realise how much of your body you use

until you hurt a part of it. Yeah. You know, if you hurt a little. You're always limping on an ankle. I don't know why. I am rolling my ankles every second day, Tracey. I don't know why. Yeah.

Well, Tracey, thank you for your call. We're going to flick you out a golf ball so you can get $10,000 hopefully. Oh, that'd be awesome. Thank you. You and your bionic knee going. Have a good day, Tracey. Thank you a call. We're going to flick you out a golf ball so you can get $10,000, hopefully. Oh, that'd be awesome. Thank you. You and your bionic knee going. Have a good day, Tracy. Thank you so much. We've got time for one more. Let's go one more. Quickly to Paul. Why's it going to be a good day for you, my friend? Morning, boys. Sun's

shining. Life's good, mate. We're in level one. We haven't got a busted bridge. We don't have your Auckland disease. Love your work, Paul. Hey Hey we'll give you a golf ball If we land yours in Lake Taupo You're going to get the 10k okay I believe in you boys

You said Oh thanks mate More golf balls to give away tomorrow We'll catch you then from 6 Really great hanging out with you guys again Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits And via the iHeartRadio app

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