Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 06 - Jono Was Caught Jaywalking, Israel Dagg, What Type Of Parent Are You?

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Kia Ora! So last night (if you didn't see it on our Instagram and Facebook pages), Jono was caught COMMITTING A CRIME on Seven Sharp and Ben confronted him about it. Naughty Jono. We also sent Millennial Max out in a golf cart to hand out some golf balls to the people of the public and they weren't having a bar of it! Finally, after Jono questioned why he is automatically considered the "refreshment parent" in the middle of the night, we threw it out to you guys to see what roles have automatically fallen on you as a parent. AKA, what your partner isn't doing hahaha! Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. And today, Jono Pryor, you think you sound sexy.

Welcome to all of our international audience, to the domestic audience, the regional audience. The story behind the croaky voice is we had a long voiceover session yesterday. It's a pretty boring story, really. And you lost your voice during that. Everyone's a bit worried that you were coming down with something. But no, you're fine. I'm a bit worried that all the people in the office are going to fall in love with me.

No, you just sound like you haven't got long to live. Give this man a lung transplant. You know what I appreciate? The smokers that still smoke through their throat. Oh, that's commitment. It's really commitment to the darts, isn't it? Yeah. Your love of nicotine.

Even when the doctors have cut a hole in your throat so you can breathe, you're like,arts, isn't it? Yeah. Your love of nicotine, even when you're like, the doctors have cut a hole in your throat so you can breathe. You're like, well, I'll put a Casper in there so I can continue my love of smoking. Oh, that is commitment. It's a fun show today. Is it? It was a fun show.

I felt like I wrote, I don't know if we're going to make it to the finish line. I think the finish line is now as we're doing a podcast intro. Yeah, yeah. You sound like you should stop talking and I will as well. Enjoy the podcast. Enjoy. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, last night, Jono Pryor, you were on the TV committing a crime. You've been taunting me with this all morning. You don't believe me. Since five o'clock this morning, you'd be like, you were on TV committing a crime. No one's texting. No one is texting, so I don't believe you. No, you were actually, it's legit.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was you on the TV committing a crime. Have a listen to this. It's a crime being committed all over the country, every day in every town and city. And the lawbreakers are your children, your auntie from Levin,

your pop-pop from Timaru. And the lawbreakers are your children, your auntie from Levin, your pot pot from Timaru. And also Jono Pryor. Now, you were on Seven Sharp last night. They were doing an expose on people breaking the law. What was the law? Well, have a listen. Every day, hundreds if not thousands of Kiwis are breaking the law by walking across the road.

Simon Dallow calls it nitpicking. It's absolutely not. Surprisingly, jaywalking is still a crime in this country. Punishable with a, wait for it, $35 fine.

I know. I know where this came from. Okay, so... Outside of work. Outside of work, yes. I could feel a camera on me and I crossed the road. You're like,

I don't do TV anymore. What's this? Even when I was at the lights, I could just feel it still filming me. And I thought, oh, maybe, because I had spoken earlier about giving my little gardens at the checkout to the next shopper. I thought, oh, maybe the news has got

a hold of this. Good Samaritan philanthropist. Maybe they're just doing a bit of a piece on that. And then I forgot about it. But no, it turns out it was a low brow, gutter journalism smear campaign against

innocent, hard working, charitable people like myself crossing the road. I could have been running across the road to save a kitten for an orphan. Well you and a lot of other New Zealanders were snapped walking. I imagine a lot of people would do, not knowing that it was actually breaking the law.

So, yeah, bad boy, Jono Pryor. Listen, this is a lowbrow, stitch-up, undercover sting, like when I was running my innocent laboratory out the back of my house, making some homemade stuff. Just a lab? Just a lab. Innocent, hardworking. This is the same

tabloid. Now might I remind you this is the same tabloid journalism outfit that did a smear campaign on our boss Todd who was stumbling out of a bar live on TV. On a Monday

night? On a Monday night. They're trying to take down the hits and we're going to go Ellen DeGeneres on them. That a Monday night. On a Monday night. They're trying to take down the hits and we're going to go Ellen DeGeneres on them. That does not stop here. Of course he got Ellen on you. Ben, we work at TVNZ now. We've got a job.

They never took me down when I was at TV3. They'll wait till I come over there. Show me a picture of it. Here you go. You can't prove that's me. That's definitely you. That's definitely you.

You can't prove that. That's just a nameless, charitable guy. You're wearing the same t-shirt today. Yeah, you go. You can't prove that's me. That's definitely you. That's definitely you. You can't prove that. That's just a nameless, charitable guy. You're wearing the same T-shirt today. Yeah, you are. The same jersey. You've just got a different hat on. But the same hat is what you say. Oh, do you think the clothing manufacturers would make more than one of these?

Definitely you, walking across the road, jaywalking, John O'Prior, busted. Breaking the law on TV, so good. Remember to double pump the vogels It's Jono and Ben on the hits Big week for New Zealand, all of New Zealand are from Thursday pretty much, are going to be in level one, which is exciting but even more exciting is us going to

Lake Taupo for Jono and Ben's 10k tee-off I said it was even more exciting but I don't know if it's quite You're saying our thing's more exciting than the whole country navigating its way out of a pandemic? I regret saying that now, but we are going to Lake Taupo. A hole-in-one challenge, fun and affordable for everyone.

And it's a fun thing to do, and we're going to hit 1,000 golf balls. What was that? What was fun and affordable for everyone? What was that? Was that like their business slogan? It's one of their little slogans they have. Oh, we've got a commitment to get fun and affordable for everyone? What was that? Was that like their business slogan? It's one of their little slogans they have. Oh, we've got a commitment to get fun and affordable for everyone out there. I just thought I'd give them a little love. They're letting us basically dominate.

We're taking over one of the T's. Okay, well, yeah, it's fun and affordable. Yeah, it's fun and affordable. It's also created a legacy of winners since 1993. I don't know if you know that, Jono. You know, it's just natural conversation. If you want to swing by and get your daily dose of iron, you can do so at

Lake Topo Hole-in-One Challenge. Oh, I always love our natural, free-flowing corporate banter. So we're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls, Jono and I. We're going to allocate each golf ball to a listener. If we get your golf ball in the hole-in-one, we win $10,000 prize money. We'll give that to you. But fair not,

if we don't get a single one in on the following Monday show, we're still going to give away $10,000 so you still could win. 4487 if you'd like a golf ball. Now when we were planning this whole thing, I don't know, I think I stupidly said once in passing wouldn't it be fun to get a golf cart? And I had no further plans

for it. I was just like, let's get a golf cart. And I didn't think beyond that. It was a stupid thing to say. But now producer Humphrey, he be-humps. Fastidious producer Humphrey. He comes in this morning, he's like, I've got a golf cart. I was like, oh dear God, I did not think what we, did you think what we could do with this?

Well no, it's not like you can drive it on the road. So you can't drive down to Taupo with it. So what we've done is we've sent our intrepid, Millennial Max, our intrepid reporter. This is not actually part of his job description. We sent him on a helicopter last week, a golf cart this week.

What novelty, quirky mode of transport will it be next week? Millennial Max is on the golf cart right now. Morena Max. Good morning, guys. How's it going?

Good. You're fanging around a park in a golf cart right now, I understand. I'm hooning around Victoria Park. And you're going to hand out balls

to people. Exactly. Only issue is there are no people. So hold on. You're just driving around an empty park in a golf cart.

Does this render this whole thing pointless? I don't know. That's not for me to decide. Well, who's going to, our boss is going to say. He's going to decide. Because we paid for this golf cart. It's fun.

It's fun, guys. That's the main thing. Well, Max is having fun. Max is having fun. That's the main thing. Okay, so there's no one around to give a golf ball to. Has it got a horn? Can you honk with a horn?

Oh, I wonder. No, no horn. Okay, well, anyway. Can you find someone for us to talk to, Max? Hey there, I'm just on the radio with John and Ben, just wondering if you might be able to say hi to them. Oh, he's got to get to work, guys. He's got to get to work.

All right, well, enjoy that. That was humiliating. Have a great time hooting around the park. Enjoy the golf cart that we just need to get. We'll cross back to Max after 8 o'clock. Who brought us the golf cart, by the way? Because apparently we've got to have a natural conversation about that as well. Yep, Easy Golf is the number one electric golf cart in the world.

They've been supplying New Zealand for 35 years and clean green electric vehicles providing hours of fun, world. They've been supplying New Zealand for 35 years in clean, green electric vehicles, providing hours of fun, moving people and product all over New Zealand. Are they fun? Are they fun and affordable for everyone? Serving bowls of loels for breakfast. Actual loels may not be served.

It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Yesterday on the show, I got discussing about a role that falls upon me in the middle of the night in our household. For some reason, I'm the refreshments parent in the middle of the night. Oh, yeah. Kids always, it's like they're walking through the desert in the middle of the night. It's like, so there's...

I'm like, well, there's a fridge and there's water or whatever. There's a tap. Okay, but I'm on the sidelines of a netball game. At no stage in the marriage negotiation was it like, okay, who's playing refreshments overnight? This was never a conversation we had. I'm just, this falls on me. Yeah.

It turns out, you know, Jen's doing a lot of stuff that I'm not even awake for. So she says, dude, I shouldn't really, you just have to fill up a bottle of water every now and then. Oh, God. There's all sorts of medical issues and things like that. I slounce and just sort of run in the house. But you're like, oh, get me water.

So we thought we'd want to know this morning, what sort of parent are you? Like, what is your role? Maybe you've sort of fallen into this role. Maybe you're the disciplined parent. Maybe you're the one that has to go, no, no, I'm sorry, you know? Yeah, and they're usually undiscussed, aren't they? Yeah.

You just sort of assume that role. What are you? I think I'm the do stuff parent. I'm like, come on, guys, let's do some stuff because I don't like sitting in stools. So it's like, let's go. Let's go for a walk around the block. Let's exercise. Let's do something.

Let's go do fun. The amount of activities he is squeezing into his kids' days. They're like, we haven't sat down since we were two years old. You're like, come on, guys, let's do something. We're here now, let's do it. You know, that's very me. I'm the do stuff guy. On a holiday, he's got his family up at 4.30am doing...

Like the last week, we did. We went mountain biking. We went up a mountain. We didn't even snow or skim. We still went up the mountain. We just climbed the mountain. We went up this donut boat thing. We said, come on, do stuff.

Come on, guys, let's do something. You're a wasting daylight guy, aren't you? But even when it's the middle of the night and pitch black. He had them trout fishing in Lake Taupo 3 a.m. in the morning. So what is your role as a parent? What are you? Yeah, keep throwing it out there this morning. Yeah, that was never discussed, but for some reason you've ended up doing it.

Throw your partner under the bus 0800. That's the phone number. 4487 on the text. We might find a golf ball for you if we like your call. Rachel in the far north. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. How are you? I'm good, thank you.

Lovely to have you on. What duties, what parental duties have just automatically fallen on you, Rach? I'm the pooey nappy changing period. Oh, has your partner never changed a nappy? He will be dry reaching in seconds if he is anywhere near it. So he just gives it to either person

and he sells it. Right. Oh, that is... I have a mate that does the dishes really badly to get out of, you know... Doing the dishes. It's like, you know, because his wife will go,

oh, do it then. And he's like, yeah, see? There you go. The worst thing is the dishes. It's like, yeah, because his wife will go, oh, do it then. And he's like, yeah, see, there you go. The worst thing is that he's a plumber though, so he works with two. He's got no excuse. This is a long, how long has he been doing this? How many years?

A couple of years. Two years. He's committed to that role. He's got a method on it. We're going to give you a goal for, hopefully you can win 10 grand if we nail the hole in one, all right? Okay, cool. Thank you.

Let's head to Pocono. Canole, Nicole. Canole? Canole. Canole, welcome to the show. Hi. How are you? What parental duties have automatically fallen on you, Nicole?

I am hungry, parent. Like, I can be in the loo, in the shower, and then somebody knocks at the door, Mum, I'm hungry. It doesn't matter what time. I'm sitting on a toilet. Do you want me to make you a toasted sandwich? The food hygiene is not good right now. Yeah, I know.

There's no boundaries though. The toilet, over time and experience, you get to learn that that's a sacred place. But for the first seven years of life, that's just another room in the house. It's like, do I need a jacket for school today? You're like, I don't know right now. I'm in the bathroom. I'm naked.

Leave me alone. I know. We're going to flick you out a golf ball, alright, so hopefully you can win 10 grand. Oh, that would be awesome. Thank you. Dan, why are those rhinos extinct? I don't know. Sitting on a toilet. I'll deal with that in a minute.

And in Whangarei, Tracy, welcome. You're on the air. What automatic parental duties have fallen on you, Trace? I'm the everything parent because the dad does nothing. Okay. Boom. Wow. And what's his name?

We'll give him a good shout out. No, that's not. All right, we're just going to flick you out a golf ball and we're going to move on. All right? He does nothing. Does he do nothing? No follow-up questions.

Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, I was talking to one of the salespeople in reception yesterday who was telling me a funny story that they thought we could retell on the radio about their parents. Right.

So they had family friends that were going through quite a bitter divorce. So far, not a funny story. This is like, where you going? Are we that desperate for content? You're like, this is a funny story. A bitter divorce.

It's messy. There's houses, cars, there's kids. It's not pretty. I'll go along with you. I'll let you see where you're going. You know, there's houses, cars, there's kids. It's not pretty. I'll go along with you. I'll let you see where you're going. So far, the fun levels have not increased. No. Granted. No.

And he was saying, oh, well, my mum sent the wife a text and said, Denise, heard you and Graham getting divorced. LOL. LOL? LOL. So heard you and Graham getting divorced. Lol. LOL? LOL. So heard you and Graham getting divorced. LOL.

LOL? What, rubbing your face in it? Much like, unless it was a comical divorce and they were both sort of dressed up as comedy clowns or something. LOL, yeah.

No, but then his mum was like, it means lots of love, doesn't it? And he's like, no. No. It means you're laughing out loud in their face at their bitter divorce. I can see now And he's like, no. No. It means you're laughing out loud in their face at their bit of divorce.

I can see now why she's like, I'd love to love you. Yeah, you're like, oh, Denise is quite snappy back on this deck.

I have seen another example, I think on the internet of someone, it was a screenshot that was posted and went viral of someone saying, oh,

sorry to hear about your grandma, LOL. It's a great send off. You're getting wound up at the moment on text, aren't you, with your dad just sending you thumbs ups? Oh yeah, like people that put the thumbs up emoji, but when you've sent quite a detailed

text, you're like, oh, what time are we going to be there? We're having, like, it was about three questions I had within my one text. And it just boomed. It just came back with a big thumbs up. That was all. I was like, great. That thumb is not answering. Not one of my three questions.

Thanks. Thanks. With a big thumbs up. Or like there's nothing like a K. K. K. What? A K?

Yeah. I'm only worth a K? Or just a yep. I'm like, oh. He's something toend sometimes He's like You know the automatic replies Like sure thing He sent me one of those last week

I'm like Am I in the sure thing category Sure thing Should have gone with a lol Annie's Annie my mum She keeps sending me like She sends a text

And she'll send like Provocative lips At the end of it. Like, suggestive, come hither lips. Like, your lips should be my lips. But it isn't like kiss, kiss, but she's choosing the wrong emoji. He's up on an eggplant next to her. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Sorry to interrupt. You may be wondering who this dark, mysterious raspy figure is coming through your stereo. You thought Harry Styles was singing. There was the sexy sound on the radio. No, no, no. It's just me. We had to do some voiceovers

yesterday for a show coming soon to TVNZ that we're hosting. I feel like you lost your voice, but I feel like this is a long play to get you out of going to Lake Taupo with me and hitting golf balls. Well, so I'm just going to assume this character for the next four days,

just so I don't have to travel away for two days. Yeah, I feel like... Ben, I would never do that. I feel like this is what you're doing right now because you're like, I feel fine. So you're fine. You're not at risk of spreading anything. You're like, it's just my voice is gone.

And I just, I don't, I know a lot of couples will be driving to work this morning and I don't want to be responsible for divorces and breakups because I know a lot of people will be hearing this voice right now and wanting to leave their loved ones. It's the damn it sexy.

Damn it. Or quite cancery and smoky. One of the two. Well, you had a week off last week. I have a day. You're rested two. Well, you had a week off last week. I have a dig. You're rested up. How dare you lose your voice. Because both of us, yeah, we went away.

I went down to Lake Taupo where we're going this weekend. Yeah, it wasn't meant to be a recce, like where we're going to be hitting golf. I feel like you don't need to go to Lake Taupo for the next 52 years. You've really upped your ratio. It's beautiful down there. And the one thing I did do, a little mistake,

coming from Auckland, I ordered a Corona beer when I went out for dinner and saying, oh, have a Corona. It's not a good look. No, they suffered a real marketing blow. Yeah, you feel sorry for them. Do you remember Sars? Oh, the drink.

There was a soda called Sars. Yeah. And their sales figures plummeted. I mean, you don't want your product named after a pandemic. Oh, exactly. First thing, first rule of business. But we were down. Imagine if there's an outbreak of a rash called the hits.

We'll be done. Oh, my God. We'll be done. Please call it anything. Call it more FM. Call it Gary McCormick. Or something else. Some sort of disease.

But we were all out there in Taupo. And, you know, there's majestic mountains. There's a great view. And I've never been a snow guy. You know, I'm not one of those people. What sort of guy are you? I don't know. Out of interest.

I don't know. But I'm not a snow person. I think I've been to the snow once. But we were like there and we were like, hey, kids, you know, to my young daughter, should we go up? And we go up the mountain. Go see some real snow for the first time because they'd never experienced it. I think I had once.

And so we drove up there and we live in a beautiful country. It was a lovely day. We're up there in the snow, you know, and it was like, oh, cool. Let's do what they do in the movies. Let's have a snowball fight. Oh, bad life decisions. Yeah. Because in the movies, it looks so fun.

They're in Central Park. They're in New York. They're, you know, frolicking in the snow with their families. It's a fun time out. But a snowball really sort of takes on the texture of a rock. Yeah. When it's hurtling towards you.

They don't show you that in the movie. So I was sort of hunkered down behind, you know, a little rock there, you know, waiting for the kids

and one came from one side, the other one from the other side, like sort of Jurassic Park for the raptors. And as one was sort of throwing, I turned quickly as the other one bang

straight in the nose my sunglasses come off and it's just like it's like a rock held to your face you don't see this on Home Alone no

you're like ah my god what do I do like I try not to swear Amanda my wife's like put some ice on it I'm like hearty ha ha

next time it's just safer to take your family to a knife fight. I think so. In a lovely, air-conditioned, temperate room. Well,

the movies have lied to you. Just like a chocolate milk shake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the head. There's a massive event coming to Christchurch next year, the T20 Black Clash.

It's back for year three. It's a fun family event where New Zealand's biggest rugby and cricket stars take on each other at a 2020 cricket match. Last year, Richie McCaw, Jordie Barrett, Daniel Vittori all played

and joining us is one of the stars, former All Black Israel Dagg. How's it going, Izzy? I'm doing well. How are you? Yeah, good, good. You've got a bubba in the background, I hear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're on me. It's my morning, so I'm up early and Mum's even sleeping.

Oh, that's nice of you. How old are the kids? Tilly's two and Arlo's three, so they might start complaining soon. I'm just on bloody. I'm the remote. I don't want this one. Turn it over. I know.

All you are as a parent is an unpaid personal assistant. Yeah. Oh, my God. I've got a lot of appreciation for trans out there. I'm currently watching a TV program with a concrete truck making a pool. I would often find myself getting really engrossed in the story and the kids would leave the room and I'd still be there watching going, what's going to happen to Jake and the Neverland Pirates? That's the soundtrack that they make.

It's Blippi's like, I'm going to make you want to shout Blippi. Oh my God. listen to our conversation. What has happened to our lives? We've got dads. It's great. Now the Black Clash is back again. Team rugby, team cricket taking on each other in a 2020 tournament.

Looked like a lot of fun the last couple of years. It's been actually probably my favourite event of the last couple of years, especially the year one we played in Christchurch, the unknown, the unexpected, and then they sold out Hagley Park, so you know, it is a very fun event, and it is one more.

So, you know, it's three match series, this is what it's all about, so I'm pumped. Anyway, I just can't wait. Like I said, it's one of my favourite events. It looks like just one giant bender to me. Let's be honest. I'll be honest. The cricketers, they haven't really been.

They go out the night before and they absolutely send it. And the rugby players, we're all professionals. We stay at home. Yeah, of course. Watching Blippi. That's pretty much why I bowled out Nathan Asselash. He couldn't see the ball. Yeah, the cricketers

probably think they have it in the bag, don't they? Got Izzy Dagg with us on the phone. The Black Clash is coming up very shortly. Now, Izzy, I just want to tell you,

whoever organised this interview, very astute at their job. Yeah. They've even written us questions, like North Korean-style questions to ask you. It's great, though.

I'm sure you have some of your own questions, but here's some suggested ones. And there's so many ones. You're like, these are good. I mean, who is this person? Let's hire them. It's like, ask Israel Dag. You could ask him about breaking Stephen Fleming's toe in year one with an amazing delivery. Yeah, he's my neighbour now.

I'm building a new pad, and he's just up to grade. I play golf with him every week, so I remind him that I broke his toe. Has Stephen Fleming handed out free heat pumps as a neighbourly gift? Yeah. Don't worry, I approached him via Fujitsu heat pump. I hope there's heat currently being pumped into your room right now.

Another question is, you potentially could have had a professional cricketing contract before rugby, is that right? If our research is correct. Oh, bless Carlina.

Carlina from DRECO, she's done a great job. Oh, nah, not really. I would have loved to play golf, to be honest. Oh,

really? Apparently I could have played cricket, but anyway, you never know. Actually, speaking of golf, we want to go to Lake Taupo and we want to win the Hole-in-One Challenge,

to win $10,000 to give it away to a listener. And we're going to go down and Jono and I are going to hit 1,000 balls between us and if we win, we'll give it away. Any tips for us? Because we're not the best golfers. Stay still, keep your head down. Everyone seems to look up to see where the ball's going. As soon as you look up, you pop it. So just keep your head down and try and keep your body still as possible.

Have you got a hole-in-one before, Izzy? Never, so don't listen to me. Izzy Digg, the Hot Spring T20 Black Clash is happening in Christchurch, 22nd of Jan at 6.30. Ticket's still available. It sold out last year, so get in quick. It's cricket versus rugby, and thanks for your time. Good luck for the match.

Yeah, thanks, James. Look forward to catching up. It's been a while. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, someone got in touch with us, and they want some help with a bit of a dilemma they've got going on in their household.

Now, we've changed the names. Yeah, this is a friend of the show, a friend of a friend, and we thought, well, we've changed the name. Yeah, this is a friend of the show, a friend of a friend, and we thought, well, we could definitely capitalise this and manipulate it for some on-air fodder. Now, we want to know from you guys, and this person does as well, is this okay?

Is this acceptable? Is this something that is okay to do? So we're going to... Amy, welcome to the show. Oh, morning, guys. Trish is her real name, but we'll call her Amy. It's not Trish. It's not Trish.

It's not Trish. Definitely not Trish. Hell of a dilemma here. Yeah, what's going on? So my husband and my mum don't get along. They butt heads so much. And we've invited her to stay over for Christmas for about a month. And what he's done is he's like, oh, she can stay downstairs in the guest room,

but we're going to get a port-a-loo for her to use so that she doesn't come up to see us use our bathroom. So he is getting a port-a-loo. Has he booked a port-a-loo for when she's staying?

Yes, he has. Well, listen, you know, on one level, very generous because the rental costs. Oh, yeah, it's quite a lot. You know,

he's forking out. He wants her to have somewhere, I mean, the next living place to go. I'm surprised how organised he is. Yeah. But the port-a-loo obviously doesn't have a flushing system. It just sort of festers. The next bush probably would have been better.

Four weeks is going to be quite mangy. So how do you feel putting your mum to go to the bathroom in a port-a-loo at your place? Well, you know, she's my mum. I don't want her to be outside

when it's, you know, dark. Yeah, no, fair enough. I see where you're coming from. Unless it goes to one

or the other, sometimes you see those fancy port-a-loos at like the races and things where you can walk up into the stairs. On the deluxe things.

Yeah. Is it one of those? Well, I don't know. I'm hoping it is. I will double check, but. It's not.

It definitely won't be. Do you know, a guy I knew actually I'm hoping it is. I will double check, but... It's not. It definitely won't be. Do you know, Glyon, you actually did this exact same thing. Really? Exactly same thing. So you want to know from the listeners here today to the show, if this is okay,

like have you got a right to sort of say, um, that's not okay. I want my mum to go to the bathroom in our house. Well, okay. So 0800, that's the telephone number. Is it okay to get a port-a-loo the bathroom in our house. Okay, so 0800 the hits telephone number. Is it okay to get a port-a-loo for a guest

who may be coming to stay for your mother-in-law that you don't enjoy the company of? Yeah, I can understand families don't all get on. That's what happens but to have someone

in a port-a-loo What would you do in this situation? I don't think not a port-a-loo like I don't think that's going to go down well. I mean, I know you've

showered Joyce with the garden hose My mother-in-law Your mother-a-loo. Like, I don't think that's going to go down well. I mean, I know you've showered Joyce with the garden hose. My mother-in-law. Your mother-in-law. I'm not going to shower. She can use the toilet. Shower's an extra step too far. Okay. Oh, 800, that's the telephone number.

Let's chuck it out there. Kim, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Your thoughts. Hi. I just think it's absolutely not okay, actually. He needs to put aside his differences. It's Christmas, and I can only imagine how I'd feel

if I was in her shoes being made to go out to a port-a-loo. It's a bit of an awkward combo, isn't it? It's unacceptable. You're like, oh, by the way, that your bathroom is actually not inside. It's just out there. You'll be like, oh, really, is it? Yeah. I've got that for you.

It's all yours. It's, hey, so you're saying put aside his business so she can do her business. Absolutely. It's Christmas. Keep the peace, man. I agree. I agree.

Just suck it up for a few days. Yeah. That's what the truck the peace, man. I agree. I agree. Just suck it up for a few days. That's what the truck does when it comes. Before it takes it to Rhythm and Vines or another festival. I appreciate your call. We're going to give you one of our golf balls so you can hopefully win $10,000, all right? Awesome. Thanks.

Good on you, Kim. Tony, welcome. Your thoughts? I think it's atrocious. Being honest. Let's face it, when you marry someone, you marry them for better or for worse. So you've got to take the good with the bad.

Just like it and lump it. If he doesn't get along with her, he's just got to put up with it. Well, she's already staying in the house. It's like downstairs. If he's got the port-a-loo, which he seems to have got already, make him use it. Oh, okay. If he wants that much segregation, then let him use the port-a-loo, which he seems to have got already, make him use it. Oh, okay. If he wants that much segregation, then let him use the port-a-loo.

I appreciate your call, Tony. I think it's obviously just because she will have to come upstairs. Yeah, oh, comedians. Comedians, isn't that right? Yeah, look at her. She's a bit older. Knees on the stairs. Had that at ground level. He's doing it for her.

He's thinking about her. Out of the goodness of his heart. As John has said before, what about the showering, yeah? That's a very good point, Tony. And there's a water shortage. Flick you out of... Baby, that's the excuse. We're going to flick you out of golf ball, all right,

so you can hopefully win 10 grand. Good on you. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's John Owen Battle the Heads. We're just talking about Donald Trump. He's just tweeted to his millions of followers

that he's leaving the hospital today, not just doing a drive around. He says he's feeling really good. Don't be afraid of COVID. Don't let it dominate your life. We have developed under the Trump administration some really great drugs and knowledge. I feel better than I did 20 years ago.

20 years ago? Oh, wow. So there you go. In the space of three days contracting COVID and walking out, he feels better than when he was 55? It's a bit of a worrying thing. Well, because you have a theory on this. Well, see, I was talking to someone I know in the States

and messaging them, and their theory was that it was a lie, that he doesn't have coronavirus, but it was a tactical thing for the election. It's a hell of a player, Because there is also, have you seen, go and Google today, Melania Trump body double. Oh my gosh. So what they do, and I'm pretty sure they do it, the Trump administration, when Melania or him,

it might not be available or whatever, but they still want her at an official event. They have a body double, but it's a guy from the FBI in a wig. And the nose is a bit weird. I know, and you can literally see the stubble on his face.

But they're like, look, it's Melania. How come she's not saying anything? No close-up photos. Let's see some Spy. Spy, launch into mess-free Mexican with the new

Old El Paso tortilla pocket. She has been up all night staring through the peepholes of your favourite celebrities. It's kind of creepy, but completely necessary for this. It's Spy with Juju. Thanks very much. So Adam Sandler, he was recently asked what the weirdest thing he had autographed is, which I was kind of like, autographing isn't really a thing nowadays. People just go ask for selfies, right?

Selfies, yeah. But once he was getting a haircut, and once he'd finished the haircut, he went to leave, and this little kid who was also in the barber picked up some of his hair, put it in a plastic bag, and asked him to sign it. So he did. He was like, cool, all good, like, it's a bit bizarre. But then what he did is he then found that bag on eBay for sale,

but it was advertised as his hair from his downstairs region. Oh, really? Yeah, and he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on here? This little kid is selling my hair for my head. Genius entrepreneur. Yeah.

And to save embarrassment, he then purchased his own lock of hair off eBay for $65. $65? Yeah. It wasn't actually getting too much. It's fetched a good price. Yeah.

I mean, that is celebritycurlies.com. We went to Vector Arena, Spark Arena, doing the music awards and I had the exact the same thought. I was like,

because we're using the shower. I was like, how many celebrities have like showered in here? How many famous hairs are down this drain if I put my hand down it? Oh God.

I was like, no, you don't know? It's not like we just were the day before Justin Bieber was there or anything. Blow this. I've got a vintage Beyonce. Put it on, trade me. Oh, jeez. Oh, yuck.

And TikTok has put the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac back on the charts because of a viral TikTok challenge. Now, it was, and this is what's happening quite a bit on TikTok. A lot of old songs are getting kind of repurposed. It just started with this one guy who was just skateboarding, laxed down a street drinking cranberry juice. And everyone started trying to do this, just going on a skateboard down the hill, drinking cranberry juice. And Mick Fleetwood noticed the TikTok

and then recreated it himself. And so it's just him going down to the song. Ooh, dangerous. A boomer on a skateboard drinking cranberry juice. I know. Recipe for disaster.

I know. But it's cool he got amongst it and everyone's like, wow, this oldie. All the young TikTokers are probably like, who's this old man?

Who's this old guy getting on the TikTok, getting all the likes? It's the guy who made the song. Yeah, usually the old guys are yelling at us on our skateboards. Yeah, exactly. And that's five things to hold our pass.

So they've got some new Mexican tortilla pockets that makes it much easier to eat your tortillas. They're bloody good. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. It's growing through your feed. We proudly present the fakest news of all the fake news with Ben Boyce. We had a big voiceover thing to do yesterday for a show we're doing on TVNZ2 coming soon.

And yeah, a couple of hours into it, your voice was starting to go. My voice isn't up for it. Today, it's not so good. No, I have increased the sex appeal of the show, though, tenfold. The hordes of listeners will be streaming into the hits this morning to hear this. The British comedy show Spitting Image. It's been very popular since the 80s. It's returned for another series in Britain,

and it features a puppet version of our Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. Now, Jacinda's portrayed as a Mary Poppins-like character. She comes down with an umbrella, and she sings a song about getting rid of coronavirus in New Zealand. In a world of strong men, a nice lady came along. I'm kind and smart and young and kind and good and kind and young. When I became New Zealand's boss, I knew just what to do. Initiate a mini-state and turn our praise cards blue.

Yeah, and apparently at the end of it, she decapitates someone who coughs, much like you. They're like, oh, no, it's just a clear in my throat. She's like, we can't have that in New Zealand. And she gets rid of that. I just didn't comment it and said she enjoyed it, although she was glad she took Neve away before the ending, which was a little bit more brutal.

The problem is we've exported her, like beef and lamb. So what happens if she doesn't get in again? Oh, right, yeah. This is kind of like our image around the world. Beef, lamb, binge drinking, these are our things. Drunk and harkers in London. And as well as that, in lighter news this morning, a mum has shared a hilarious ordering fail.

Now, Peppa Pig, the TV show about the puppets. Sorry, it's not puppets, it's the cartoon about the pigs. I'm Peppa Pig. This is my little brother, George. You don't know him, right? Well, Maggie, her name in Britain, well, she's taken to Twitter after she bought a plate for her daughter, a Peppa Pig plate.

She bought it overseas, and she got the French version. So the word for oink in French is groin. So all of her plates. Groin, groin, groin. Groin, groin. This is quite unusual place. Groin, groin, groin. Groin, groin. This is quite unusual. I went to the Peppa Pig live show. You were just showing me pictures

that they don't hide the puppeteers. Yeah, they're quite impressive puppets. There's quite a puppet themed little couple of minutes on the hits. We love puppets. No one's talked more about puppets. Two Muppets talking about puppets. Yeah, so they had puppet versions

of Peppa Pig and Daddy Pig and all the characters. They're quite big puppets. But then they had the people on stage, you know, sort of dressed in black T-shirts, black pants and stuff. They're clearly on stage. They're not hidden away. And I found myself just watching the people and not the puppets.

Hide them behind a box. Yeah. I know what you're saying. They were doing a great job, but I was like, oh, I just watched them. No one wants to see the puppeteers. The losers who decided to become puppeteers. Oh, harsh. Even with the croaky boys.

And that is Scrolling VFB this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, a few years ago, Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords, they teamed up to make the hilarious What We Do in the Shadows vampire movie.

And one of the stars was Deacon the vampire. And just at the point of death, this creature forced me to suck its foul blood. And then it opened its wings like this and hovered above me, screeching. Ah! Ha ha ha! Now you are vampire. And the man who starred as Deacon is joining us in the studio right now to talk about

his new hilarious TVNZ On Demand show. It's called Educators. It's back for Series 2, created by some of New Zealand's funniest comedians behind the scenes of a high school in New Zealand. It's Johnny Brough. How are you going? Very good, thanks, fellas. How are you going? Lovely to see you, Johnny.

Lovely to see you too. Now, I've heard wild rumours throughout the industry about educators. These are spreading like wildfire. I thought you were going to say rumours about me. Oh, yeah. We'll get to your sex scandals later in the interview, Johnny. That's good. I'm looking to sell them. Yeah, we tried to get Ben's tape out there. There are no buyers. No one wants a solo.

Maybe this is an exciting new thing is tapes. The rumour is that there's no scripts for the show, that you sort of walk into a scene and they, yeah. Scripts are boring. They are boring. Who wants a script? A waste of paper as well. Do you guys have scripts?

No, not for the radio show, not really. We kind of have, I guess like. Ben, you've just gone off scripts. You don't mean to say not for the radio show. Just say yes. So no, we don't we don't we know each scene has a purpose and that's all you really need and if i was to write a comedy which well we kind of did but we just didn't write it down on paper it would be this the purpose of this scene is to play this comedy game or this story game go and and what i like about the show is is that things happen that you can't script. Like those awkward moments

where you don't know what you've got to say. And at the classic old sort of, one of the games that the players put into teachers in a room and have a meeting and you don't know what the meeting's about. Neither of us know what the meeting's about. So you just get this gorgeousness that happens that you could script I guess, but really it's way more fun to not script it. So it's behind the scenes of a high school here in New Zealand and you play teachers in the high school. Is that weird turning up to a scene as an actor or are you kind of used to it now? Because I know even like what we do in The Shadows, it was kind of the same

idea behind. Well, that was even more that, you know, I was kept completely in the dark with every scene. I wasn't allowed to know what each scene was about. Really? Apart from the scenes that we had talked about seven years earlier, we'd made in a short film. You know, that erotic dance and what we do in the shadows. Ben was just, yeah, we were

just watching that before. Yeah, yeah. Like a famous scene from the movie where you're doing erotic dance in like a fishnet singlet, right? So the whole point of that scene was a scene where we're doing something and then Nick the vampire knocks on the window and he's just been turned into a vampire and he wants to come in, be part of the doco. And Jermaine goes, so what could we be doing?

And in my head I went, why have you not prepared for this? Because there's 40 people on set, you know? You're like, this is a film. Yeah. But no, but the beauty of it was that let's just think of something. And I thought, I did some prep on my character,

an erotic dancer and a knitter. So I'll do an erotic dance. And everyone went, yeah, sounds great. Go find a fishnet singlet. Go find some snake charming music. And then wing it. Was the fishnet singer on standby or you had to go to a...

Wonderfully, I've always fantasized about a fishnet singlet on standby or you had to go to a... Wonderfully, I've always fantasised about a fishnet singlet and there happened to be one with the costume department. An iconic scene from the movie and you pretty much, you know,

you've travelled all over the world doing like comic cons and Armageddons and stuff. Yeah, yeah. You know, with a character like that who's very famous all over the world

and that's probably made famous by that scene as well, right? Yeah, and Deacon's a belligerent darling and the fans want an erotic dance so Deacon does erotic dance classes in America. Do you think more cash could be earned out of erotic dancing as well?

I'm doing my best. Yeah. Do your best. Pays well, tax-free cash too if it's just coming. Well. Let's not talk about that. Johnny Braff, thank you very much for coming in.

Pleasure. Educators out now on TB very much for coming in. Pleasure. Educators out now on TBNZ On Demand. You can catch that and I really appreciate your time, mate. It's lovely to meet you both. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hats. The A to Z of New Zealand. We call a different town or city in New Zealand and we do one a day.

We're working our way around New Zealand alphabetically. And yesterday... Yeah, where we went to Hakutaramiya. So you're close to Mt. Kok? No, that's way up. No. No, Ben. So you know your geography.

No, clearly not. Well, you're some sort of two-bit Auckland soy sake. Don't mention Auckland. Don't say Auckland. Where's Auckland? Has that got a crook bridge or something? Something along the bridge up there? It was awesome.

What I love about this segment is that we learn something new about places that I've never heard of in New Zealand sometimes. Like Hellcomb. It's a small settlement in the Manawatu region and 13km from Fielding. It's got a pub, a public hall, a football club, two tennis courts and a pub that featured in the DBTV ad in 1990. Oh, really? That's it. Let's make a call to Hellcomb right now and find out a pub that featured in the DBTV ad in 1990. Oh, really? That's it.

Let's make a call to Helcombe right now and find out a little bit more about the place. Hi, Barbara speaking. Have we got hold of Barbara? Yes. Barbara, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. How are you? I'm very well, thank you. You'll never guess what we're doing, Babs.

What? Fowing every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and today it's your town's turn. Tell us about Halcombe. Halcombe is a little village on the outskirts of Fielding, about 12 kilometres from Fielding. It used to be quite a little prosperous village, but now the only really commercial enterprise in the village is the past.

I'm looking online here. There used to be a taxidermist shop in Halcombe, but it's no longer. There did. There did, yes, and the actual building is still there, a little concrete building. I've been there 20-something years, and when I first shifted there, there was the garage, there was the four square, there was the dairy.

But gradually, of course, with the, you know, people can travel now into town quite easily, those businesses have disappeared. Now, tell me, Barbara, I'm looking through the Helcombe community page here. Yes. There was a reminder to keep an ear and eye out for strange vehicles someone was broken into overnight, they tell us, Barbara.

Yes, yes, we often get that. There's quite a lot on the community page. Someone's giving away a free stainless steel sink. That looks quite good. Oh, yes, people regularly... Taps included. Clucky Bantam. Oh, you've got a Clucky Bantam.

Have you got... How do we get our hands on your Clucky Bantam, Barbara? What's a Clucky Bantam? I just want someone to take Clucky Bantam because I do not need any more chickens. Your bantam's getting a little too clucky.

So have you got any takers for a clucky bantam, Barbara? Well, nobody's texted me yet, so I mean, she's going to have to go into quarantine. Oh, quarantine, but isolation time. And so you'd have eggs up the yin-yang. Have you got eggs up the yin-yang? No, what's that?

Just lots and lots of eggs. Lots and lots. Yeah, I haven't heard of that saying before. Yeah, but no, the clunky band, I do not need any more hens or chickens.

And so anyway, she's a bit like me. She's an old hen and you can't do much with them. And they're no good to eat. They don't even make good stew. They're so tough. Hey, Barbara, don't talk them. And they're no good to eat. They don't even make good stew.

They're so tough. Hey, Barbara, don't talk yourself down. You could be delicious to eat. I could be, I could be, could be. That taxidermist shop is still open. Oh, my God, thank goodness that's closed. Hey, Barbara, love your work. How come?

Is it a place to go and visit, or is it a place to just drive through and kind of remember? It's funny you should ask that, because there's a group of us that are working together to see what we can do to make it a place that people stop and come and have a look around. I mean, at the moment, it is, I would say, sort of a drive-through place. I don't know. Well, I hope people do come and visit, Helcom. And listen, I appreciate your time, Barbara. You have been very generous with your time, you and your clucky bantam.

Yes, yes. Well, maybe this might inspire someone to say, look, I could start a petition. Save the banty. Save the banty. And this has been some great bants that we've had. And there's been some great banter going on. Love your work.

Have a great day, Barbara. Thank you very much. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now,

at the risk of sounding like a boomer, I want to complain about something on the internet that I can't do. Clear your history. How do I go incognito?

Now, a lot of boomers, like my parents, they find the internet a bit scary. Your parents do as well. Oh, they don't,

yeah, John Pryor doesn't trust anyone. He won't put his credit card details in, right? He uses mine. They're trying to rip me off. I'm like,

you're putting mine in. They're ripping me off. I don't think I'm too bad on the internet, but something I've been struggling with a lot lately and producer Julia as the millennial of the show.

Yes. You'll be able to chip in here. Like, when you sign up for something and they're like, sometimes it's on a free trial or things. Oh, you love a free trial though. It's not going to cost you anything. You just need to cancel before a certain

thing and I'll put a little note in going, I need to cancel. The amount of free trials this man has signed up to. Everything he's like, I just watched it on a free trial. I was like, oh, you get a free trial? Yeah, sign up for five days. Just watch it and then cancel. Exactly. And you know, and I said it and I go to,

but the hardest thing is cancelling the thing. You go to the website and you can never find the unsubscribe or the cancel. Yeah, because they're going, there's tight asses like you all over the world reaming us on these free trials. They're going, it's easy. It's easy to cancel. What's not? No, I actually agree.

I may be a millennial, but there have been a couple of times where I've tried to cancel something. And so you click cancel and you think you've done it, but then you have to like click cancel again. Like, are you sure? Yes. Okay. Is there anything that we can do to, you know,

make this experience better for you before you cancel? No, I just want to cancel. You have to click so many buttons for it to happen. It's easier to end a 10 year marriage. The paperwork is easier than can a 10-year marriage. Yes, it probably is. The paperwork is easier than cancelling a streaming service. Because then you go into the frequently asked questions. You're like, oh, maybe this will be it.

No, it's not one of them. This is helpful. Did this ask you? No, it's not helpful. None of this is helpful. You haven't answered my question. But you know the most frequently asked question is, how do I cancel?

And then you're like, oh, maybe there'll be a contact. Is there a contact? Can I email someone? No. You can't find a contact on it. No. There's no contact. There's no nothing.

So it's impossible to cancel something. Oh, that was like, I've gone on public record before. Remember when I was donating to the Bloomin' Pandas? Oh, yes, you were helping out the World Wildlife Fund. I could not get out of it. Yeah, you were helping them out, the World Wildlife Fund. Right, you got signed up. It was like $30 a month, wasn't it?

Yeah, $30 a month. All for the pandas. All for the pandas, up. It was like $30 a month, wasn't it? Yeah, $30 a month. Gosh, all for the pandas. All for the pandas, yeah. Would you like to talk to a panda? Would you like to answer some frequently asked questions again? Can't do it. How do I stop giving bamboo to these? I gave so much bamboo to pandas.

They've never thanked me once. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy, launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket. Like a professional millennial, she's got an iPhone surgically attached to her hand and an avocado in the other hand. Yeah, at all times. She won't get those hands on an affordable house, however.

No. But she'll get them on some spy entertainment news. Here's Juju. Thank you. So Madonna, she has always wanted to work with David Guetta. Always wanted to do it. So he's a big DJ guy, right? He's always in Ibiza and DJing up a storm.

Looking like having a great time. But he always looks so awkward in his music videos. Like he's got the world's biggest hip-hop stars looking fantastic and Guetta's sort of a skinny, weedy white man in the background, not quite knowing what to do with his hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, especially, I guess, when you take him away

from his turntables and his DJ equipment. He's naked. He probably used to be standing behind a desk and doing his thing, right? Yeah, yeah. So she...

It's like when you take the puns away from us. Yeah, we can't do anything. We don't know what to do. And they're quite different artists. You've got Madonna and then you've got this DJ, David Guetta,

and you'd think, you know, working together, they'd make some quite good music. So they met up, had a really long lunch, chatted about all DJ, David Guetta, and you'd think, you know, working together, they'd make some quite good music. So they met up, had a really long lunch, chatted about all things, life, music and everything. It was going really well. And then David Guetta said that she

then asked, oh, what's your star sign? And he said Scorpio. And then she said, oh, um, and got really awkward and basically called off working together because of his star sign. Wow. Wow.

And Andy had to pay for lunch as well. Double kick in the guts would get her. I know. He had to awkwardly pay for lunch. They were just awkward hands. Didn't get that predicted in his star signs in the paper. No. She doesn't work with scorpions.

Scorpios. Scorpios. She doesn't work with scorpions. Scorpios. Scorpios. It doesn't work. Or scorpions. It can be quite volatile. You don't want to make music with a scorpion, do you? You know, like, bikey and stuff. Always snapping at you.

Yeah. You don't need that attention in the studio. No, no. And Ed Sheeran, he was initially advised by his old label that first sort of got their hands on him before he became big that he needed to dye his hair black and stop trying to rap and stop with this looping pedal if he ever wanted to make it.

And they dropped him because of it, because he didn't want to change. And then his new label obviously picked him up. And they've now revealed that back in the day, his old label made a big mistake. Wow. If he had just run a rinse through that hair, what could it be? I know. You couldn't imagine Ed Sheeran with black hair. No.

Anything other than what he is. He would look unusual with black hair. Yeah. I'm intrigued. He's the nicest rapper in the world. I like his raps. They're all like, it's polite and nice. So I've got a lovely wife and a lovely friend. And I can't rap. I don't know why you're going to get told to be so rare.

I should have got the scorpion to finish that one. You get a scorpion. And then a spy. Thanks to old El Paso, they've got new tortilla pockets you can get around. They're bloody good. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're going to play a new game here.

This is not something that will come up with ourselves. We had a text just come through. Pamela, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Lovely to have Ben on my heads. We're going to play a new game here. This is not something that will come up with ourselves. Well, we had a text just come through. Pamela, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Lovely to have you on, Pam. Thank you. Genius. We're going to give you a writer's credit for today's show. This is a game idea of yours, which I think it's got some legs in it.

Good. Okay, do your sales pitch to the nation, Pam. Okay, so basically I just thought guessing the age, which would be a great idea. So basically someone rings up, you've got to guess the age between a certain age group, and then you win a prize. Oh, gauge the age.

Gauge the age. Gauge the age. Yeah, that's good. So within an age group, so it doesn't have to be exactly, are you saying? Yeah, I think it should be exactly. Okay, all right. Okay, it's just you said age group, but anyway, it's all good. Okay, so now we've it should be exactly. Okay, all right. Okay, it's just you said age group.

But anyway, it's all good. Okay, so now we're going to go exactly. All right. So, Pamela, you tell me some of your hobbies and interests, and I'll try and guess your age. Okay. Some people don't like their age being guessed, though. But you're okay with this?

I guess, you know? That's fine. Okay. So, what I like to do, I love doing art. I love going for great beach walks. 89. I see you've gone. I love doing art. I love going for great beach walks. 89. I see you've gone. Okay, well, I think you're wrong.

Okay. Second guess, 43. Oh, close. How old? 48. Okay, well done. This is a fun game. So if you want to play,

100th of Hits is the phone number. Pamela and John and I will try and guess your age. Gauge your age. Gauge your age. Sorry, gauge your age. And tomorrow we'll play guess your weight. Oh, no. Oh, jeez, no.

And if we can't get it right, we will give you a golf ball and you can win $10,000 potentially if we get a hole-in-one with your ball. Do you want to hang around and play your game, Pam? Of course. All right, this is great. We've got Pamela with us on. Do you want to hang around and play your game, Pam? Of course. All right, this is great. We've got Pamela with us on 0800THEHITS.

How are you, Pam? I'm very well, thank you. I don't know why I asked you that because we asked you that about three minutes ago. Has your mood drastically changed from three minutes ago? Oh, nervous. Nervous? Oh, more nervous than before.

Okay, because this is your idea, Pam, for a game. It's called Gauge the Age where we get someone to phone up and we try and guess their age. Yes. So, Pam, I a game. It's called Gauge the Age, where we get someone to phone up and we try and guess their age. Yes. So, Pam, I played it with you, and I'll let you play it with me. I'll tell you some of my hobbies and interests, and you can guess my age. Okay? I enjoy losing

my hair rapidly. 86. Sorry, I can't play. I got it right. Sorry, Pam, I jumped in on that one. Well done. So I would win on that one. Well done. So I would win in that instance. So let's go to the phones and see who's brave enough to play. They don't have to play if they don't want to call, but they've caught up.

Shelly, welcome. How are you? Morning, guys. How are you? Oh, we're doing well. How's Mount Maunganui this morning? Absolutely beautiful. Oh, it is a beautiful part of New Zealand, isn't it?

It's just paradise. All right, we're going to try and gauge your age, Shelley. Pam is listening. You tell her some of your hobbies and interests. She'll try and gauge your age. I enjoy cooking. I love water skiing. Do that an awful lot.

Off-road bugging type things. Jeez, you're a... You've done more in this sentence than I've done in a lifetime. Okay, Pam, we've got an active person on the phone here. Shelly, gauge her age. How old do you reckon she is, Pam? She's 47.

Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. Okay, I don't know if that was a good old jeez or an offender. I like that. You like that? I'm going to say 23. 23 or 47. I'm going to lock in 39.

Shelly, you need to give us the answer. 57. Oh, Shelly, jeez. That's about there. Still water skiing. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Well, She there. Still water skiing. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Well, Shelley, well done.

You're going to win one of our golf balls when we head to Lake Popo later in the week to try and win you $10,000, okay? Guys, thank you very much. Gauge the A's. We'll bring Fran on from Auckland. Fran, meet Pam. Morning, Abano. Okay.

Fran, give us some of your hobbies. I'm just going to say 23. Okay, so I like drinking, family, bombing off bridges and longboarding. Oh, she likes drinking her family. No, drinking, comma. Bombing bridges. Drinking, comma. Oh, drinking, comma, family.

Okay, all right, Pam, guess Fran's age. 53. How old, Fran? 45. Oh, we could't gauge the age. Well done. You're going to win one of our golf balls. You're still bombing off bridges?

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Raglan's got the best bridge. Oh, see this. When you're 87 years old like me, you can't do these things. Oh, the memories. Okay, we'll take one more, Michaela. Let's do one last one, eh?

One last one. Michaela in the Waikato, welcome. We're going to try and gauge your age. You tell us some of your hobbies and interests. I like being outdoors and sport and hanging out with my four kids aged 4 to 13. All three of you guys have made me feel very lazy. I know. They're all very active.

I'm going to say 23 again. I'm just going to lock that in. Jesus. Listen to him. He doesn't want to offend anyone. What are you going to go, Pam? 42. 42. I'm going to lock that in. She is so sad. Listen to him. He doesn't want to offend anyone. What are you going to go, Pam? 42. 42.

I'm going to say 37. I'm 30. Oh! Well done. You win a golf ball. We can gauge your age tomorrow. It's quite hard on the voice, isn't it? Yeah.

We'll play, can we guess your FPOS pin on the radio? And the little number on the back of the credit card as well that you need. Thank you, Pam. Great idea. Thank you, Michaela. You guys go and have a wonderful Tuesday. Thank you. I appreciate you guys listening to the show.

And you too. We'll be back tomorrow. We've got David Seymour joining us, MP, as well as heaps of chances to get your hands on one of our golf balls. It's happening in a couple of days' time. We're heading to Taupo. We're going to hit 1,000 golf balls. We're going to try and get the hole-in-one there at Lake Taupo

and win $10,000 to give that away. Your chance to get your hands on golf balls happening all day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.