Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 07 - Stan Walker, Kids Wanting Your Stuff When You Die, Your Present Crimes

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

On today's podcast we sent Millennial Max through a McDonalds drive-thru in our golf buggy, and Jono made him order 39 smoothies! Have a listen to see how that one played out... Jono also discussed how great it is folding sheets until one particular moment that happens. We discussed present crimes (Ben left the price tag on a present, that's #illegal) and finally, Stan Walker joined us on the show! Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. That's the sound of Ben Boyce typing.

You're a good typer. Yeah, I can do it pretty much without looking or fast. When you pass on your gravestone, I'm going to write, was a good typer. Was a good typer. Yeah, I can do it pretty much without looking or fast. When you pass on your gravestone, I'm going to write, was a good typer. Was a good typer. Oh, thank you.

Prolific typer. Type a lot. You end up doing a lot, but yeah. You've got the fastest fingers in the North Island. I vouch for that. Eh?

Yeah, okay. Anyway, enjoy the podcast today. No, don't wrap it up. Oh, okay. You love these podcast interests, don't you? I do, I do.

We just meander. I know. Excuse me. A bit short on breath because we just had 660 in the studio. Yeah. He's going to play on tomorrow's podcast. And Ben Boyce, at the end of it, you made us eat hot, spicy sauce. Yeah.

Because Chris Mack, the bass player, big fan of spicy stuff. Yeah. And my body hasn't recovered yet. No, it was very hot, wasn't it? Chris loved it. Yeah, he enjoyed it. But for us, it was like, whoa. I feel like three layers of my esophagus have peeled off.

Yeah, but yeah, very, very hot and spicy. So it feels like my stomach wants to retire right now. Get into that. Hey, on the podcast, very exciting today, though. We had a special guest, Stan Walker. He's got a new book out very shortly. And quite a serious chat with Stan, didn't we? Yeah, we did.

Not our usual shtick. No, but it's... Not our usual palaver. No, he's got some big things to talk about in his book. Yeah. Some really big things. So, yeah, we discussed those with him. Plus, we're only 48 hours away from hitting Lake Taupo to try and land the novelty tourist attraction,

the Lakeside Golf and One. If we get one ball in, we win $10,000. An update on that too. Enjoy the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, on the Friday, we're heading to Lake Taupo. We're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls, Jono and I,

and we're going to try and get one of them're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls, Jono and I, and we're going to try and get one of them in the hole-in-one, the attraction on the lake. If we get one in there and it's your ball we've allocated to you, you'll get the $10,000 prize money. But if not, we're going to come back on Monday and still give away 10 grand on the hit. So 10 grand's going to be won. Yeah, that's a win-win for someone.

Maybe not us because we're hitting a lot of golf balls and spending a lot of time, but it'd be fun. And I made some shocking diva demands two weeks ago and I was like, well, doing this golf thing, we need to have a golf cart. That's the sensible thing to do. And then I forgot about those. You know, we say stuff, don't we, Ben, and we forget about it.

And then the golf cart miraculously turned up yesterday. And so then we were forced to come up with a good idea to do with it. So we sent Millennial Max out into the streets with the people of the streets to hand out some of our golf balls. And he was having a hard time getting the public to engage with him. Can you find someone for us to talk to, Max? Hey there, I'm just on the radio with John and Ben, just wondering if you might be able to say hi to them.

Oh, he's got to get to work, guys. He's got to get to work, guys. He's got to get to work. Nothing quite like the shame when you're a young radio person of being denied live on the wireless. Oh, so good. Now, Millennial Max is in the car park at McDonald's. We're going to send him through the drive-thru

in the golf cart right now to order us something. Come on in, Millennial Max. How are you? Where are you? Hello, team. How are we? Paint the picture, Maxie. Where are you? What are Max. How are you? Where are you? Hello, team. How are we? Paint the picture, Maxie. Where are you? What are you? Where are you? What are you doing? What are you wearing?

What are your dreams and aspirations for the next five years? I'm currently in a denim jacket just driving into the McDonald's Grayland Drive-Thru in a golf buggy. Now, the golf buggy, has it got any windows or is it just full open air? Full open air. Quite breezy in this brisk autumn morning.

Is it autumn? What is the season? Spring. Yeah, spring. Oh, yeah, spring. Yeah, right. All right, this feels like a conversation we could have finished off here,

but we had it on here. We're here now. So you're at the McDonald's car park and we're going to send you through in the golf cart. They'll be like, just as you said before, another radio station doing a quirky thing. But anyway, we're committed to this now. We are committed to this.

I tell you, Ronald and his band of merry characters, they'll love this. Don't leave it alone in the car park, the Hamburglar. He'll fleece it. Yeah, you are. He'll fleece it. The Hamburglar always wore, you know, quite obvious burglar clothing.

Yeah, you are. He could have blended in a bit more as a criminal, as a career criminal. Yeah, you knew when he was coming along, you're like, oh, watch out for this guy. Have you found the horn on the golf cart yet, Millennial Max? It's got like a nice wee reversing.

I'll play it for you. I don't know if it's a nice thing. It's a nice reversing sound. Yeah, lovely. Okay, so we're going to send you through the drive-through very shortly. And we need you to order, Max, 39 milkshakes. No.

No. You can't say no. We're live on air. Don't just say no. Yeah, 39 milkshakes. Hold them in your lap. And bring them back here. Millennial Max, you're in the drive-through now.

I'm just driving into the queue, actually. Oh, what? How many people in front of you? Just one. Okay, so we'll wait for them to do their order. Then you go up and we need 39 large milkshakes that we need you to transport back to the Hit Studio. Okay, Max?

Oh, are you serious? Yes, we're serious. Yeah. I'm going to go. There's another lane here. Oh, no, no, we're good. We're going, we're going. Yes, we're serious. Yeah. I'm going to go. There's another lane here. Oh, no, no, no. We're good. We're good.

We're going. We're going. Okay, we're going in. Is he going to get a happy meal or a... Can you please remove yourself from the property meal? Hi, Daniel. How short are you reading? Could I please get 39 milkshakes?

Chocolate milkshakes? Or do you not do that many? Sorry, how many? Hoping for 39. Are we going to be able to pay for this? This is my fear now. Large. 39 milkshakes, Jono.

39? Yeah, three. Do we want to go here with us? I think we might leave the leader back there. No, we're not pulling out Mate you gonna pay for this We're gonna need some friends You might have to give away

Some milkshakes Max Max you go ahead And order those milkshakes Can we get a hello From the lady at McDonald's Hi there Would you just be able to say

Hello really quickly Hi there Oh there you go That was 70 worth Millennial Max In the golf cart. If you want a golf ball, one of our golf balls to get $10,000, just text 4487. That's our number.

And if we allocate a ball to you, we'll text you back with your number. And also 4487 if you're in the market for a milkshake. We have 39 of them. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowyn Manomahit. One of my hatreds, domestic chores, is making the bed, changing the sheets in particular.

And if I'm going to narrow it down, the duvet cover. Oh, like putting the duvet within the duvet cover. Oh, yeah, tough. Do you hate that? I hate that too. When you have to try and get your hand through to the corners and hold the corners. Oh, it's just, there was a stage there

where I was just throwing beds out the window and just getting new ones, pre-made. It was costing me a fortune of beds. Yeah. So then, you know, obviously once that's done, you've got to fold the sheets, don't you, once they've been through the washing process. Oh, folding a fitted sheet.

I still can't work it out. No. I'm a fitted sheet. I still can't work it out. No. Like I'm a growing adult and I still can't work it out. I just put it in a scrunch ball. Yeah, someone else will deal with it. But you know the flat sheets, they're too big to do on your own.

So you sort of, you team up with your partner. Oh yeah. It's like a folding symphony. So you've both got the corners and then you fold in half, boom, then another half, boom. But then it cuts.

So it's a beautiful expose of teamwork. and then you fold in half, boom, then another half, boom. But then it cuts. So it's a beautiful expose of teamwork. As a kid, did you used to just hop in there and swing in the sheets? Oh, swing in the sheets. Swing in the sheets, yeah. Is that a thing? Yeah. I remember doing that when my parents would fold the sheets. I'd be, yeah, you know.

And then my parents separated and I couldn't do it anymore. Way to bring the vibes down. Great to have you Tuning into our Cherry breakfast show Have you ever tried Swinging the sheets With just your mums Holding it

I dare to try that That's not going to work You don't want to hear more About your tortured childhood Oh god Swinging the sheets Oh dad's not here Sorry guys

I already brought the vibes down Mate you don't need therapy this afternoon. Yeah, true. Radio show's not your therapy. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, I've lost my train of thought now. Sorry, you were talking about the sympathy of like, you know, they're working together.

Teamwork, yeah. Oh, that's right, before your broken home. Bander. No, but then it gets to the point of folding where you have to come together. So you walk together and you join. So it's a bit of a Mexican standoff as to who takes it from that point.

Oh, yeah. You know? Yeah. And she always puts it on me. I'm like, no, no. Last night I was like, no, no, this is your turn. It's unspoken as well. So I just let it go and she let it go

and then it ended up on a big heap on the floor. I was like, why is it on me? And she's like, it's your wingspan. My arm wingspan works better. I was like, don't blame wingspan. Wingspan doesn't come into it when you're at that point of folding, does it? Same when you're doing a tent. I know as well, where you're folding up a tent, the same situation. You always get one person

gets the ownership of the last bit. I don't know how to do that. No, put it on someone else. Or agree on it before you start folding. Don't just expect the opposite person to do the final. Because then, I mean, that's the fold down, but then that also falls on you to put it back in the cupboard. Yeah, make sure it's all weighed nicely. Yeah.

You're handing three other jobs to that person. Talk about it, people. Like if Ben's parents talk more, maybe they'll stop being together. Everyone will hear about his bleak stories on the radio. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I got told off yesterday by my wife.

On her birthday as well. Happy birthday, Amanda. I know, I was wrapping something for somebody else as a present we bought for someone. And I'd got the item, you know, I bought the item and I got it on a sale. But then the price tag was still on there and it was a lot more than I paid for it. And I was like, well, let's wrap it up with the price tag.

So when the person, you know, it looked like I've accidentally left the price tag on, but it looks like I've spent more. Are they talking about popping tags, Ben? It doesn't pop them off. Just so that the receiver knows how much. What was the plan? That they then reciprocate with an equal price?

No, just so they looked at it and go, oh, wow, that's really generous that they paid that much. I mean, that was obviously what the thing was worth at some. The recommended retail price, I got it on slightly less than that. But I was like, hey, let's just keep it on there. She's like, you can't leave a price tag on. That was always my mum's thing.

She's like, take the price tag off. It was like the worst crime a human could commit. You know, please peel the price tag on. That was always my mum's thing. She's like, take the price tag off. It was like the worst crime a human could commit. You know, please peel the price tag off. Jennifer, my wife, some presents were given kids at birthday parties.

She's noticed I've left the price tag on. She's gone, and like snuck over and tried to scrape it off. I don't know. It's just no shame, especially when you make it

look like you've spent more. That's so cheeky from you. So cheeky. I was giving a lot there. But she was saying it was a present crime. more. That's so cheeky from you. So cheeky. I was giving a lot there. But she was saying it was a present crime. It was a crime. It is a crime. It's a complete present crime.

I agree, but I've committed it before. Yeah, you've committed that crime. An accidental crime. You're not doing it intentionally. If I went to court, I'd be like, oh, it was an accident. Okay, home detention, home detention. You'd go to prison because yours was intentional. Wow.

What are you in here for? Didn't take a price tag off. And I knew about it. And they're like, ooh, stay away from that guy. He's trouble. Okay, so 0800 the hits. This is the telephone number. Have you committed or been the victim of a present

crime? We're talking about re-gifting. Oh yeah, that's one I do. What can I feel like? If someone else is going to enjoy it more than me, then why not? Yeah, re-gifting. I mean, basically this is a phono topic. Are you tighter than Ben? 0800 that hits the telephone. We used to do a thing for the TV show where if you did a sketch, we'd send

poor Jess in production. Like if we did an all-black sketch, we're like, we need 15 all black jerseys for the actors. So poor Jess would go to Rebel Sport and be like, I need 15 all black jerseys. And they're like, okay. And then she'd be like, don't take the tags off. And they would all wear them for the sketch, sweat in them and they would stink.

And then she'd take them back to Rebel Sport and be like, oh yeah, so I don't need all these now. Turns out I'm a Wallaby supporter. I don't know, I bought 15 of them, but I don't really like them. Okay, so 800 the hits. Have you committed a present crime? I'd love to get your text 24487

or if you've caught someone in the act of committing a present crime, love to hear from you as well. Give us a bell. Producer Juliet, your family do present crimes. Yeah, we're a bit lazy, so if we don't know what someone wants,

we'll just type up on a piece of paper, this voucher entitles you to me taking you shopping so you'll buy whatever you want not a voucher no it's kind of like a make do

sort of thing and we'll print it out give it to them and they'll be like okay cool she'll take me shopping one day but it never happens

the laziest present giving that's a present drive just say do you write it or type it or type it? You type it. Oh, okay, you type it. And you'll appreciate this.

We'll write, this voucher entitles the bearer and use a picture of a bear. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a little pun. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Yeah, great. My mum and dad once got me a card which had a voucher in it

and the undertones of the card were rather saucy and I don't think they knew because it was like, to my big boy. And you open the card, it's like, this entitles you to one jewel, a soapy bubble bath. And I don't think mum had looked at the contents of the inside. It was like a full-bodied back massage. You're like, okay, mum. It's a bit weird. My back doesn't go all over my body, so how does that work?

Anyway, so what present crimes have you committed or been a victim of? Nicole, you're from Pocono. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What was it? I got my mum-in-law a really pretty set of pyjamas for her birthday, and she gave them back to me for Christmas. She re-gifted them. On purpose or just not knowing?

I don't think she remembered that I'd given them to her, and she probably put them in her re-gifted her. On purpose or just not knowing? I don't think she remembered that I'd given them to her. She probably put them in her re-gifting stash. Had she worn them with, like, sleepy, crusty bits on it? No, no, they were brand new. Oh, still brand new. So now you wear them with pride. You can give them back to her this Christmas, maybe. Oh, I brought them because I really liked them.

So I was like, okay, well, I'll take that. At least I'm getting something I want, yeah. Well, at least you can sleep easy, Nicole. Good on you. I'm going to flick you out a golf ball, so hopefully you won 10 grand. Appreciate your call. Oh, that'd be awesome.

Thank you. And, Elise, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What was the present crime? Sorry, are you talking to me? Yes, we are. What was the present crime, Annalise? Unless you've changed your name in the last three minutes,

what have you been on hold? No. You cut out. You cut out just as you said my name. Years ago, I worked at Decker for a summer job while I was at uni, and just before Christmas, my boss gave us all rat thank you gifts, and I opened the end and saw that it was a packet

of chocolate sampler biscuits, and I thought, oh, sweet, I'll give that to my grandparents for Christmas. And they opened it up on the day, and it had a card wrapped up inside it that was paid out to me. But they actually thought it was a hoot. They thought it was really funny, and it was, my Nana was the thriftiest person in the world,

and she was always re-gifting things. And she would even recycle greeting cards and so on. So I think she got a bit of a kick out of it. The following Christmas, she gave that to someone else with your card still attached to it. It's still being handed around New Zealand this year. Love your work, Annalise. I'm going to give you a golf ball, so hopefully you can win 10 grand.

Thank you. And we'll end on Stacey in the Waikato. What was the present crime, Stacey? We got given a knife set for a wedding and the sellotape that was holding the box together was all yellow and peeling off, so it had clearly been re-gifted from someone else. Or been sitting in someone's cupboard. So you invited Ben Boyce to your wedding then?

Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It was a lovely knife set someone else had given me. All the knives are rusty. I used them at one dinner party. Yeah, one dinner party. Just one dinner party. One dinner party? Just one dinner party. Hey, Stacey, you got a golf ball and we could win you 10K at Lake Topol on Friday, okay?

12K. Appreciate your call. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are slowly making our way all around this beautiful country,

going to a different town or city each day, finding out about the place. We're doing it alphabetically, and today, Hamilton's turn. Yeah, you might have heard of Hamilton. It's the most populous city in the Waikato region. In fact, the country's fourth most populous city and fifth most populous super rugby team. Oh!

Unnecessary. But factual. But factual. This year, Maybe they didn't Have a great season Super Rugby Old Town Hamilton get a hard time It's a beautiful place

It's a beautiful place Oh well the Outback We've visited many times Oh that's fun That's fun This will do great things For Hamilton's reputation You've been to the Outback

Oh I have once And it was What a time to be alive Yeah it is It's a fun night Yeah it's an establishment You go to and you wake up The next morning

And you're like Wow That really got away On us that evening. They'd sawed us on the floor the night we went there. That was just, you know, it was just to clean up,

whatever. Just to mop up all the shocking life decisions. They then donate it to the local kindergarten. All the kids playing at the next day. The bar filth.

No, it's a wonderful place. Do you remember meeting the guy, one of my favourite moments that night was meeting a guy who had a fake eye, an eyeball, and he took it out, put it in his glass,

drunk it, and then he ended up with the eyeball in his teeth. That's right. It was his party trick., and he took it out, put it in his glass, drunk it, and then he ended up with the eyeball in his teeth. That's right. It was his party trick. And then he took it out and he's like, do you want to have a go? What, do I want to have your gunky eyeball in between my teeth? Yes, please, put that in my glass. I would love a turn.

So we're going to ring Hamilton and find out what's good about Hamilton. Let's ring our hotel. Good morning, I'm Lodge Leah speaking. Hi, Leah. How are you? I'm good. Lovely to hear you.

It's not like a stop, Mike. It's your old friend, Mike. And guess what? What? The kids are doing well. How are yours? Oh, everyone's great. Thank you.

That's it. It's not Mike. That's it. It's not Mike. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, my God. Whatever. It is. It's Jono and Ben.

Now, I have to ask you a question, Leila. Are you happier or sad that Mike is not on the phone? Yeah. Would you rather have Mike? No, Mike, sorry. You sounded like a Mike. No, he doesn't. I sounded like a Mike. Like a Mike doesn't. I sounded like a Mike. Like a Mike.

You don't even know a Mike. You just guessed a random voice's name. No, no, no, I'm sorry. We're ringing every town and city in New Zealand. We're ringing one a day to learn something about the place. And today, Hamilton's turn. Oh, wow. Yeah, and all the the numbers we rang yours.

Okay. You've got a lot going on in the background. Are you preoccupied? I've just got a guest that's checking out who's super lovely. She's from Raglan so we're just having a little catch up about Raglan. What was her stay like? Amazing. She loves it here. I didn't hear that from her

but that's fine. Now Leila, what we usually do is we get people like yourself to name wonderful things about their town. Today, we're going to do it a bit different, okay? We're going to call another hotel, and they are going to name stuff, and you have to name stuff one for one. Oh, no. I'm not good at that.

No pressure, Leah. There's obviously a lot of pressure. We're going through. No, no, no, seriously. There's obviously a lot of pressure. We're going through. No, no, no, seriously. Who are we ringing? Do you know the Parkview Motor Lodge? Parkview, Alexei speaking. How can I help you? Hello, Parkview. We've got Leah on the phone here and we've got

Jono and Ben from The Hits. How are you? Very well. How are you? Good. We're learning stuff about Hamilton and we've got two hotels on the line and we just wanted to know good things about Hamilton, if you can start listing one by one. Oh, okay. Okay, starting with Leah.

The River Trail. Oh, the River Trail. The River Trail, there's one. Okay. Hello. Oh, okay, we've got someone else now. We've got the third. What's something good about Hamilton?

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Oh, hey, guys. I would say definitely, obviously, the river. I did that one. The river's gone. The river's gone. The gardens. I went to the gardens last week.

They're amazing. They are amazing. Yeah, they were free. You wander around. It's like Alice in Wonderland. It's incredible. It was awesome. Leah's laid claim to the river and the gardens.

Coming back to the Parkview Motor Lodge, what are you going to name? Z Long Tea. A tea to name? Z Long Tea A tea? Z Long Tea Plantation You haven't been? No Oh mate, you're missing out High tea

Sitting out watching over the plantation She's flopped back with a high tea A high tea, that's good Alright, can we one up on the high tea? Yes Argent Motor Lodge Oh, your motor lodge Your motor lodge

I hate it Here we go All I know is one of my favourite things Argent Motor Lodge. Oh, your motor lodge. Your motor lodge. Here we go. All I know is one of my favourite things is going to towns and visiting motor lodges as attractions. You guys are both really great sports. We'll come visit Hamilton at some stage. Come stay with us, Mr Argent. Bring me, Leah. All right.

You hold the line, we'll flick you guys out something, all right? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, Halloween, end of the month, and it's quite a big deal in New Zealand these days. Well, no, it's you. This is your ideal holiday.

I mean, you love dressing up. It's one of, you know, what Christmas is to the Christians and Ramadan is to the Muslims. Halloween is to Ben Boyce. Oh, yeah. And pranks. You love pranks? Yeah.

You do pranks? Oh, my God. This was designed for you. Well, the kids, you know, you've got a couple of young kids as well like me, and they really get into it these days. I remember when I was growing up, it used to feel like it was more of like an overseas,

even an American thing, you know, Halloween. But now the kids are like, what am I going to wear for Halloween? There's a long runway, isn't there? Yeah. Yeah, Oscar's like, it's my favourite night of the year. He's like, wow, that's a giant cool. Yeah.

Well, now I was in the supermarket yesterday and there's Halloween candy for sale. It's like, you know, it's like Christmas. They're getting early. They're like, got to get your head, get stocked up, ready to go. But I remember a couple of years ago when we were doing the drive time show.

So we're working in the afternoons, evenings on another radio station my wife was going trick or treating with kids and a whole lot of other friends and family and kids around the neighbourhood and I was like I called when I was leaving work going I'll come meet you I've got to go trick or treating and I want to see what the

kids are doing and she was like oh yeah make sure you get dressed up because all the other adults are getting dressed up everyone's looking great with all the costumes so I raced them., you don't have to tell him twice. You do not have to tell him to get into a costume twice. Okay, so I got dressed up. Then came down and met everyone. No other adult was dressed up. No one

at all. Just me. Just me. Did you wear your classic because you always dress up in your skeleton costume? I did, yeah. So the problem with your full bodied suit skeleton costume is you're so skinny it just looks like a see-through T-shirt. It's like, oh God, it's just a malnourished man wandering around with children

looking for a sugar hit. His blood levels are low. Sugar levels are low. And I'll be busting that out again this year. Do you know the other problem I find with Halloween is not just fully grown people getting duped into wearing costumes. Yeah, but I love it. Is we spend 99% of the year telling our children

do not take lollies from strangers. Except on this one night where you can walk into, in fact, no, do one better, walk into the strangers' houses and take lollies. Mixed messages. You're right. It doesn't do any favours for the kids, does it? So just take lollies from anyone.

That's my message. Okay, moving on. If they've got a lolly, take it. It's not often you get a free lolly. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Do your kids ask you for stuff when you die? Oh, no.

What do you mean? I'm constantly being asked, like, my son's like, can I have those pants when you die? Can I have those shoes when you die? Oh, right.

They're claiming stuff already, aren't they? Yeah, I'm sort of hoping that these things will be out of fashion by the time I'm dead. They're already out of fashion now, mate.

They've been writing it out for the last... That's the 90s. But no, that's a big thing for our kids. And Poppy asked my wife, Jen,

when you die, can I have those shoes? And kids don't know... No, they don't really think about what that actually means. That's quite a brutal question. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I had our family the other day, they were talking about, because someone we know is changing their name because they've separated. And then they were like,

oh, will we get to change our name if you guys separated? And they were like, I want will we get to change our name if you guys separated? And they were like, I want to be Indy D'Amelio. I want to be Sienna Swift. You're like, oh, this is hurtful. And you don't just get to pick your last name. And you don't just get to pick celebrity names.

Exactly. A lot of people you like on TikTok or musicians. So that was, yeah, that was probably as far as I've got. But I see what you mean. It's kind of like, oh, why are we talking about this? I know, but it's a good thing to claim to stuff early, isn't it? Yeah, Juliet,

did you ever say to your parents, when you die, can I have something? My brother, he would always, growing up, be like, mum, can I have the house when you die? That's a good play. That is a great play for your brother. Yeah, and mum's like, bro,

like, I would sell this to you. No, it's your mum. Is your mum a surfer? Like, sh, like, I would sell this to you. Is your mum a surfer? Like, shuck a bra. Let's talk about this when we're hanging 10 out on the waves, dude. I don't actually think he's ever said bro in her life. It's just my slang, but you know. Like, bro.

Just relax a bit. Just relax out. Come on, guys. Yeah, lol. Okay, so 0800, there it is, is the telephone number. 4487 on the text. Want to open up the lines on this one. What did you get?

Amusing items you were left when someone passed on. I got a Yahtzee board game from my grandparents. And there was a hidden meaning behind that because they used to write, if you got a good score on Yahtzee, the game, you used to write your score in the box. And I was once playing by myself with the game and I got the top score. No one believed me because I was by myself.

So that was, yeah, everyone was like, oh, he's a cheat. He's a Yahtzee cheat. But they passed it on. That was to me. And so there's a reason behind the way I've got a random Yahtzee box. Oh, right.

Do you still play Yahtzee by yourself? Not as much these days, to be honest. Oh, good. I'm glad for you. I'm a very blank child. Just sitting there playing Yahtzee. Baro, as Chunia's mum would say. Okay, so 800 of the Hertz, 4487.

What were you left when someone passed on? Let's go to Auckland. Hannah, you're on the air. What was it? It's actually my boyfriend. He got left his great-grandfather's glass eye. We were talking about glass eyes 20 minutes ago. That's so crazy. Was this something that he knew

he was going to get left or just a surprise? No, it was more the family got left it. So I think when he died, maybe he didn't die with a glass eye in. And so now the family has it. And they play with it. They put it up to their eye. And every time it makes me think,

that used to be in a dead man's body. True. You can play ping pong with it too, can you? Many uses. Granddad's always watching. Always watching. Table tennis? Oh, that's the same as ping pong.

Yeah, we could. If you called it table tennis, you could, you're right. Thank you, Anna. I appreciate that, Barb. This is our. Yeah, we could. If you called it table tennis and not ping pong, you could. You're right. Thank you, Anna. Appreciate that, Barb. Let's go. This is our old friend, Barb. Not old.

Yeah, more than a guy. More than a Barb. Just our lovely aged friend, Barb. How are you, Barb? How's that voice there? Oh, it's sounding husky. A little bit husky, isn't it? But it's better than yesterday.

Very, very sensual, though, isn't it, Barb? Barb's not going to answer that. What were you left, Barb? Oh, you upset Barb. Barb. Oh, Barb, you're back. Yes, Barb, what were you left when someone passed on? My granny's handmade dolls.

Now, she made the heads out of wax. Wax dolls? She was really good at painting horses and animals, but not when it came to faces. And they looked like voodoo dolls. And she used dog hair on the make-up. These sound traumatic. They do.

They were. They were as kids. You go into the cupboard where the dolls were and you'd see one of these and it sort of had this squashed, like a toad-head face. Like, oh my God, what is that? But we used to pull them out at parties for a good laugh.

And she was shaving dogs to put hair on these dolls? No, when she'd comb the dog, you know, all the horse hair. Oh, right. So that would be, she'd push it into the, it was just like a voodoo doll. Oh, there were some issues your grandmother had. Yeah. I love it.

Thank you so much, Barb. Appreciate that. And Lucy, we'll go to Rotorua. You're on the air loose. What were you left with when someone passed on? Hi. When my grandfather passed away a few years ago, he gave me his whole lawnmower collection and it was like all these

vintage lawnmowers. I really didn't know anything about them, but my partner and I ended up selling them on trade and we made quite a lot of money. Oh, wow. There we go. Your grandfather will be happy about this. He's like, I know. Lucy will love all these lawnmowers. She'll never sell them.

Oh, how much can I get for these? He's on Trade Me. Get rid of these. Oh, $250. Bargain. How many lawnmowers in a collection of lawnmowers? I think there were like 18. That's a lot of lawnmowers.

Yeah. How much did you get for them, Lucy? Oh, I can't really remember, but a few of them went for like $1,500, $2,000 each. Damn. Yeah. Damn, I would have sold them too. I don't care what sentimental value they have.

Take the cash, baby. Good on you, Lucy. You go and have a wonderful day. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket. All morning, she's been sipping from the sweet cup of celebrity,

and right now she's rather slurry, but hopefully remembers the stories that she has to report on Juliet. Thanks very much, Jono. So, Tom Cruise, he is filming Mission Impossible 7 at the moment. And he was filming, because he does his own stunts. How many impossible missions are there going to be? Surely you should be like, I've done three. They were all impossible.

Then I nailed them all. Yeah, very good question. Well, he was shooting a scene on top of a moving train. And just casually, and there were fans watching. Casually just like waving to the fans, jumping, doing stunts on top of a moving train and just casually, and there were fans watching, casually just like waving to the fans, jumping, doing stunts on top of this moving train. He sees.

It's unreal the stunts he does, eh? Oh my God. It scares me. I don't know why the director and the producers would let him do that because it's like you're Tom Cruise. Imagine the insurance on it. True.

I saw one of you was like hanging off the wing of like a 747 that was taking off. That's right, yeah. Scary. We've talked about him at the world's tallest building, sitting out there in Dubai. Maybe the impossible mission is trying to kill Tom Cruise.

Can't do it. It's impossible. I saw the video, though, you're talking about, and there was a lady just filming from her car driving past the train in the very majestic hills of Europe. Oh, God, looks divine. And the train is hoofing it along. He's on there, and it's probably his idea.

He's like, strap me to a plane. But then you've got to worry about the 20 other crew and camera operators and directors who also have to be strapped up there at the same time. They don't want to be on top of a train. No, they're like, mate, we can do it. Can I film this from my phone? Do this in a studio with a green screen or something.

Exactly, exactly. Oh, we're good on him. And Kim Kardashian West, she reveals that. So Kanye West, he had COVID back in March, and this is when it kind of first came to be, slash people weren't really sure and people were quite scared of it. She had to look after him at home, and she has now said that she had to wear the full PPE gear, mask, gloves, everything.

And I'm like, wow, if Kim Kardashian wore PPE gear, you'd expect her to bedazzle it up or something, wouldn't you? Yeah, put some diamantes on the face mask or something. I reckon. But she had to do it while changing her sheets and everything. She was scared. And this was back when less people had it, I think. Before Trump proved it was fine.

Yeah. It's fine. Don't let it get the better of you. Live your life. They're like, what are you saying? Live your life. I'll be true. You've got the best medical attention in the world.

He's only been in hospital three. Isn't he still contagious? Yeah, that's what I was reading this morning. According to doctors, he's still contagious and he's gone back into the White House. Wow. Took his mask off and away he went. Yeah. But then he was huffing and wheezing up the stairs Of the White House

Wasn't he? He was like Oh dear God This man should not I'm back I'm back Well thank you Juliet What a wonderful update of Spy

No worries And it's thanks to Old El Paso They've got new Tortilla Mexican pockets Like starting your day With Panda Eyes It's Jono and Ben on the hits Now my son Oscar

He's 10 years old And you know You like hugging your kids, don't you? Show of affection. You do. That's a good period. You don't hug other people's kids, though? No.

No. No, it's a general rule. It's a general rule. You don't turn up to schools and start hugging kids. No, it's a bad look. Bad look. Your own kids, that's fine. It's fine, yeah.

Good look. So, you know, I always like hugging both Poppy and Oscar. Yeah. But now Oscar's got to a stage where I go to hug him and it's like I'm hugging Israel Adesanya from the UFC. Right. Because he'll then take my right arm and he sort of grabs it with his hand

and then whips it behind my back and I'm in an arm lock. He's turned into a wrestling manoeuvre. Oh, right. Like the type of hugs you would see on Police 10-7. I was going to say, he puts you up against the bottom of the car. All of a sudden, I'm on the floor with his knee on my head and my arm behind my back and this loving

moment. You're like, hey man, I live here. I'm not an intruder. Has turned into an assault. It's like a wrestling ring in my house at the moment. Oh, wow. Yeah, but he finds it hilarious and I actually start laughing as well. Because I'm like, I was just trying to hug you but all of a sudden now I'm just getting beaten up here.

Make you a little bit nervous going in for a hug though, wouldn't it? You with girls you don't stereotype girls, but they're not so armlocky, are they? They don't attack you as much. No. My daughters and stuff, no. No, I mean, you come to work with, you know,

unicorn fingernails painted. Yeah, that's the, yeah. I dream of unicorn fingernails. Give me some unicorn fingernails. They're like, can I paint your nails? Yeah, sure, go for it. All I've got is a broken shoulder. You need to get Poppy painting your fingernails.

Yes. Well, yeah, true. Although, actually, speaking of kids' stuff, yesterday I got asked a very interesting question because kids at the moment, my kids are always about, especially school holidays, can we have a sleepover? Can we get such and such to come over and stay the night? One of their friends.

And you're like, no, no. All you do is stay up all night. You'll be up all night. I'll be yelling at you all night. It will not be an enjoyable experience. But then Sienna, who's here yesterday, she's like, why don't adults have sleepovers? That's a very good point.

Yeah, and I was like, well, sometimes, I was like, well, sometimes they do. But then as a married adult,

it's a bit weird to go, we'll just, you know, come over and, you know, I was like, but I didn't want

to have this conversation either. Well, you should have explained it. I was like, you know, when I'm at someone's house, I'm like, oh,

I'd rather probably go home than go home. Can we have a sleepover? Can we just stay at yours? And they's like, you know, when I'm at someone's house, I'm like, oh, I'd rather probably go home than go home. Can we have a sleepover? Can we stay at yours? And they're like, yeah, sure. There's a bowl over there. You can lose your car keys in it if you want. Oh, there you go.

You don't know. Maybe as adults, we should be having more sleepovers. On the lounge floor, everyone with their sleeping bags. Can we have a sleepover at ours this weekend? Then Lightning McQueen's sleeping bag will come bags. We're going to sleep over at ours this weekend. Then Lightning McQueen. I'll bring my Lightning McQueen sleeping bag. We'll come over. We'll paint our fingernails.

Jono sleeping over Saturday night. Unicorn fingernails. We can have a wrestle. In our sleeping bag wrestle. We can be in an arm lock. Yeah, in the same sleeping bag. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

He's got a brand new book out. It's just about to be released. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. He's got a brand new book out. It's just about to be released. It's called Impossible My Story and he's about to go on a nationwide tour. He is, of course, this guy. How you gonna love? How you gonna live? Don't you know you'll get back what you gave?

As Stan Walker joins us in the studio, it's always exciting. It's good to have you back because last time you said, and I quote, I hate yous, because we played you played your Australian Idol audition from when you were young. I was like, Stan's never coming back.

So it's good to see you again. Now we have some embarrassing photos from your childhood we want to play you. Oh, no. Here's a little naked Stan at age four. So very exciting stuff for you on the pipeline. You've got a book coming out and going on a tour. All right, it's all happening.

Yeah, the book comes out tomorrow in Australia and on the 14th in New Zealand. And then I go on tour in November, taking the book and then just record it on a live album to like accompany the book. Oh, awesome. Because all the chapters in the book are like different songs. I'm excited, eh? Yeah songs i'm excited yeah it's very exciting listen not everyone in the room's got a book i don't have a book yeah unless jesus was in here you could say he's got a book yeah and you go with

mike king around the country yeah and mike is honest to god he's he's the man like he's just like the man and i needed him to be on it because like especially at certain themes in the book like he's just a man for and i feel like he's been doing some real stuff Well people in for this country that you know that a lot of organizations Don't do mental health topics in this book. Yeah. Yeah. Well because it was on Sunday on TV the other night And yeah, yeah, and it's been in the media as well There's some some heavy stuff that you're gonna get into was it hard to open that door just to talk about your childhood like that? Nah.

Nervous because I'm being more vulnerable and being more in detail about certain things and saying certain words that just are not that easy to say. Yeah. I guess as humans you try to ignore them or suppress them, right? Yeah, hard. And I feel like this stuff, like certain things in the book, has just been swept under the carpet too long, like in this country.

There's so many people who are suffering and so many people you wouldn't even know, but you see every single day and they're suffering and they're dying inside. And I'm like, well, I'll embarrass myself and say all these things so that people can be set free of this stuff. Well, that's a very brave thing to do

because you witnessed a lot of violence in your childhood. I saw your father was on Sunday. Yeah. Oh, my poor papa. How was he? He's the man. Honest to God, people don't understand. They look at these words and they see these stories

and they hear these stories, but they don't understand how far we've come as a whānau and how far my father's come. Like, he used to be the most ugliest man I've ever known to be the most incredible father and the example for all fathers that's an incredible change and our whole family we've changed so much so like yeah I'm proud of my dad so a cycle doesn't have to continue no it stops it it stops at us well especially when it comes to Alpha. We're like byproducts of byproducts. My dad's dad was worse.

And you'd think, hearing stuff from the book, how can he be worse? I was just like, well, way worse. And my grandfather's brothers, they were all evil. Some of them was a hit man. They were ruthless. Well, I'll tell you what, you've turned out pretty good now, mate. Yeah.

Got Stan Morgan with us, new book out, Impossible. Very shortly going to be going on a nationwide tour as well. And only 32, you're turning 30? Yeah. It feels like you've been around for ages. You've achieved more than anyone within a thousand lifetimes. Honestly, like even just thinking the thought that like 30, I'm like, oh, I don't know if it's because I'm turning 30, but just where I'm at in my life, I feel way different going into this kind of next season. Like everything, like singing has changed for me.

Music for me has changed. Like what I want to do and where I want to go is so much more bigger than I've ever done before. And in different ways. And it doesn't have to be in front of everybody. Like I think lockdown was a big helper and it was like a solidifying thing for me. Like, yo, this is actually who I'm going to be, where I'm going to go, what I want to do. Well, what you've done by the age of 30. I mean, I only figured out that I need to put my pants on my legs at age 30.

I was putting them on my arms up until the end. It was embarrassing. But I feel like with your health you had a new lease on life after that. Kind of a I don't care about anything that doesn't really matter. Yeah and I think honestly that's ever since then it's just been like that for me

but even more so after lockdown because I just got a little bit you know just caught up in the in life and busyness you know busy can be the biggest mask or distraction from, you know, dealing with stuff or like going to where you need to go and being who you need to be. So like now I'm just like, yo, this is where I'm at.

And even just me and my partner getting back together after years, you know, we were split up for ages. Like that for me is even a whole different like dynamic of like, okay, yo, this is where we're going. No mucking around. It's like, yep, we're going to move here. We're for me is even a whole different like dynamic of like, okay, yo, this is where we're going. No mucking around. It's like, yep, we're going to move here.

We're going to do this. That's us. That's cool. Are you off the market now? Way off the market. Oh, damn it. I was going to, I might come back on

for you, my bro. The best you can do is me. That's it. You've got me. Yes, sir. If you're really desperate, I'll be waiting. Well, Sam Walker, his book is coming out next week in New Zealand,

out in Australia tomorrow. And, of course, going on tour for an intimate evening, it's been described as. It sounds very intimate. With Mike King all around North Island and the South Island. So go see Stan Walker. Go see Mike King. And well done.

Very brave thing that you're doing. So it's awesome to see all that. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. This Friday, we're heading to Lake Taupo. We're going to be hitting the hole-in-one challenge, trying to hit 1,000 balls onto the pontoon

and hopefully winning a hole-in-one, winning the prize money and giving the 10 grand away to you guys. Yes, now we have been getting some expert advice from people who have had holes-in-one. We talked to a lovely 75-year-old lady who got two hole-in-ones in the same round she was playing. Whangarei lady.

And we met with professional golfer Phil Taltarangi yesterday. Devilishly charming, good looks. Yeah. Doesn't he, Phil? I tell you what, I'd let him hook me over the trees, if you know what I mean. No. Let him sever my iron.

No, I don't know what that means. Let him drive my wood somewhere. Yeah, okay, that one sounded, I kind of know what that one is. Place something on my tee. Yeah, right. I'm just trying to do golf references here. They're not working that well,

but Phil had no faith in us getting the hole of one on Friday. So we've got 1,000 balls we're going to be hitting when we get to Taupo. Joking, no chance. Between us. Have you been pumping iron? No, look at me. He barely pumps those pants on his legs.

1,000 balls. You're going to hit like 500 each? Yeah. Is that too many? You might need more than that. So, full of confidence. Yeah, and we all love confidence. Oh, that's good. We also

talked to Phil about his hole-in-one experience. You used to live in Taupo, and have you attempted the lakeside hole-in-one? I have attempted the lakeside hole-in-one. Only times I've done it, though, is when I've been in a slightly altered state, and that didn't help. So he can't actually remember if he got a hole-in-one. Only times I've done it, though, is when I've been in a slightly altered state. And that didn't help.

So you can't actually remember if he got a hole-in-one. He might have got one. No, no, I definitely didn't get a hole-in-one there. How many hole-in-ones have you actually got in your career? Seven. Was that during tournaments? Yeah, not all of them during tournaments, but if you get a ace, it counts, right?

So most of the pro players would have landed a hole-in-one at some stage? Yeah, I mean, there's some players that have had 20 of them or more, right? So most of the pro players would have landed a hole in one or something? Yeah, I mean, there's some players that have had 20 of them or more, right? And then there are others that are world-class players, are only having their first. I mean, Tiger only got his first just a few years ago. I mean, it's crazy. It is crazy.

Yeah, he was knocking it out. No, no, no, hey, hey, hey. No, no, hey, hey, I wasn't going there. As soon as you said, he's got to go there. I didn't go there, Phil. I pulled myself out of it. Out of respect for Tiger and his 220 affairs, I pulled myself out of it.

You kind of mentioned it anyway. By not going there, you pretty much made it obvious. But then, like an Eminem song, we had one shot, one opportunity to impress Phil with one shot. Here was Jono's attempt. Prior, stepping up to the tee now, what do you think his chances are, Phil? Zero to none Phil with one shot. Here was Jono's attempt. Prior, stepping up to the tee now. What do you think his chances are, Phil? Zero to none.

Zero to none. You both shut up. Oh, can you hear us? Oh, sorry. Quiet, please. Okay. All right, here we go. Here we go.

Okay, that's the day. I think that counts. I was never good at maths, but is there something less than zero? That whoosh noise was me completely not hitting the ball. It did sound like the ball was hit there, but it was the person next to us. I completely missed it. I know. It wasn't a good start.

No, I didn't do much better. Boyce, stepping up to the tee. Phil, have you ever seen a fully grown man with a seven-year-old's body? Yeah, I don't know. Is there two legs in there or just one? I don't know. I don't know. Very crotch- in there or just one? I don't know. I don't know. Very crotch-y trouser today, too, from boys. Here we go.

Oh, not bad. It's gone off and it's hit an elderly gentleman in the head. There's a hole over there somewhere. R.I.P., old man. R.I.P. Like Tina Turner. Rest in peace. She's not gone.

But we are going to Topol on Friday to hit the hole in one if you want a golf ball 4487 we may allocate one to you and don't forget on Friday night

we're also heading to the 19th hole is it the 19th hole if we're only playing one hole I guess it's still technically it's the second hole

technically you should still be playing we're going to be at Finn's Gastropub and Beer Garden in Topol we'll be there from 7.30

so you can join us for a drink a bite to eat and your chance to win some prizes. Love to see if you're in the area. Bring the kids down. All the info at the hits.co.nz Wake up full of shame.

Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas and this is the Beeping News. Yes, the Beeping News where our producer Juliet beeps out words from international news headlines. How about we do the news headlines with no interruptions

so Jono and Ben don't have to come up with mildly amusing answers at six in the morning. Yeah, you're right. We could just play the actual headlines. And then just talk about the stories. Oh, that's what they happen. Seems like an unnecessary hoop to jump through. This makes it fun, you guys.

We need to try and guess the headline, guess the words that's the word, all words that have been beeped out in an actual news story. Let's hear the first one. Fully tattooed man says inking his a** black was what cost him his kindergarten job. Oh. I'm going to say it.

Oh, you go. Inking his face black. Did he tattoo a kindergarten kid? Oh. Bad. Inking one of his pupils? Yeah, like a shoulder tattoo or something. Fully tattooed man says inking his eyeballs black

was what cost him his kindergarten job. Oh, dear God, why did you put this story in? I forgot you hated eyeballs, Jack. You know I'm an eye person. Fully forgot it. He tattooed his eyeballs. Oh, jeez. And to be fair, he does look terrifying.

He was a kindergarten teacher. He's covered head to toe. He looks really scary. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's got every part of him. What in the eyeballs was the straw that broke the camel's face? That would have hurt, wouldn't it? That's what I was kind of surprised by.

I was like, wow, he's fully tattooed, and he still had a kindergarten job, and then the eyeballs was what... Now he can teach kids older than six. That's what he can do now. But, yeah. But he... He seems like a reliable chap to leave your toddler with. The thing is... he can do now. But yeah. He seems like a reliable chap to leave your toddler with. The thing is, you can't argue. Don't judge.

Exactly. And he says that the parents of all the kids, they're fine with it because they know him, they know what he's like and that his look kind of encourages the children to kind of accept everyone no matter what they look like. That's a good message. It's a shocking message to teach children.

What? To accept everyone. That's a great message. That's what the world's built on. That's what it needs to be built on. That's great. Okay, next story. Five parrots separated at British Zoo

after encouraging each other to... I'm going to quote Jacinda, be kind to each other. Were the parrots saying not to fear COVID-19 and vote Trump? Oh, something close. Live your life, that sort of thing. Five parrots separated at British Zoo after encouraging each other

to curse profusely at guests. How good, eh? Do you know my mother, Annie Pryor, phoned me last week with a hot lead. She listens to Radio New Zealand and she steals their stories and phones me and says, you've got to talk to these people.

Yeah. I actually know this story, Drew. Yeah, you've got to talk to these people. Yeah. I actually know this story too. Yeah, you say it though. Okay, so basically it was these parrots, they were put together and one must have learnt what the swear words were

and it started saying it and the other parrots picked up on it. The visitors found it hilarious but then the zoo was like, no, okay, in case there are any children that come by.

But they were telling people to F off. Yeah, you're an F-ing. And it was a parrot that was during lockdown, someone had adopted a parrot. They were like, I need something to do. And they taught the parrot to swear. And when the UK went out of lockdown, they were like, I don't

need this parrot, so I'll give it to a zoo. So they put the swearing parrot in the zoo. Like it was got like the trainer, the zoo trainer would walk past the cage and it would be like, you fat twat. Really? Start abusing him. And he's like, I've actually lost a few kgs.

I'm getting sledged by a parrot. Oh, geez. And so the customers would come along and then start swearing at the parrots too. Wow. Swearing at parrots that weren't swearing parrots. So they were swearing back. That is good. That is good.

And your final story. Airline offering free flights to people only if their name is... Oh, offering free flights only if your name is Galaxy Safari Tomato. They hear very hard. Y'all got to go refund. Your name is refund. You get a free flight. That's good.

Airline offering free flights to people only if their name is Orlando. Which I say is unfair. Orlando Bloom doesn't need free flights. Yeah, well, true. What about the Juliettes of this world? Or the Jonos or the Benz? What is this? So technically it's only flights to Orlando and Florida,

so it's a little promotion. But then I was also thinking, why would you offer free flights in the middle of a pandemic where you need the money anyway? It's a bad business model. Yeah, exactly. A worse business model is offering free few flights to Juliette's. That would sink the airline.

You're right, at least with the Lando. It's not the most common day. Yeah, it's right. Why don't I do it for Juliette's? Ah, because then they would have literally no money. Hey, thank you, Juliette. That was wonderful. Start your day the wrong way.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yes, you've heard of CNN. This is BNN. Ben's Nasty Nana. I don't know. What does CNN stand for? News Network?

Cable News Network. Maybe. This is Ben's News Network. Producer Juliet, you're really quick on the Google. I'm sure you'll find out that for us very shortly. But last night there was another leaders debate. This one was leaders' debate. This one was an online debate,

and Labour leader Jacinda Ardern and National leader Judith Collins, they squared off for the third and final time, and things got quite heated in this debate. They started by talking about New Zealand's quarantine COVID response compared to other countries. Actually, we didn't go fast and hard and early. Samoa went a month earlier than us. Other countries did.

Samoa did so go. They know it did so. And actually, don't disrespect Samoa. We have been criticised by the National Party every step of the way for our COVID response. Now, when you are in a pandemic, you cannot afford to change your mind every five minutes. Every leader we've had from National has

had a different position, and it's been wrong. Oh, nobody puts Samoa in a corner. Nobody disrespects Samoa. Then they asked questions, you know, relatable questions for the common Kiwi, like the price of milk. Just in return, how much is two litres of milk

at the supermarket? $4.50. No, $6. At both New World and Countdown today, it was $3.40. Oh, good deal. $2? Two litres?

I love Mama Jude. It's like listening to your friend's grumpy mother. $6? Yeah. But no, I've been looking at Countdown online this morning. Now, it depends what brand. They should have specified what brand.

Because if you go Anka Milk, standard blue, 2 litres, $4.50. Jacinda Ardern is correct. Well done, well done, Jacinda. But then if you go for, obviously, the light countdown milk, you know, that's about $3.50. So which the guy said in the debate. But then if you go for Anka Milk Light A2, so a fancy brand of milk, $6.32. So, you know, two minutes of milk. Obviously, Mum and Chew keeping her probiotics up.

Yeah. Very regular. That's right. Fantastic. So there we go. There's your daily milk update. And finally, on the leaders' debate last night, the online debate,

they talked about which way Jacinda Ardern is going to be voting in the cannabis referendum. Jacinda Ardern, do you support the proposed cannabis reform bill? Support every single one of the people in this room having their say and whatever you decide. And whatever you decide, I will vote for it.

Oh, come on. What's your answer? It sounds like someone's sledging her from the audience. It does. Oh, come on. Watch your answer. Watch your answer. Is that like someone sledging her from the audience? It does. Oh, come on. You don't have to. Look, that's the thing. Why do you have to answer?

Like, I don't even know what my wife wants. Well, I think the bone of contention is she's given her opinion publicly on the life bill. Right. The choice of life bill. And she hasn't given that opinion on this. For fear of probably alienating potential voters. Oh, come on. Give bill. Right. The choice of life bill. And she hasn't given that opinion on this. For fear of probably alienating potential voters. Oh, come on. Give us your answer.

I'm going to scroll through your feed next time. Next time we interview Jacinda Ardern, every question, oh, come on, give us your answer. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket.

Now for an update featuring people filled with more plastic than the ocean, here's Juliet with Spy. So Dolly Parton. Speaking of which. Yeah, yeah. She is going to be posing for Playboy on her 75th birthday. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, well, that's great. You're looking at me with a... No, no, that's awesome. Yeah, well, that's great.

You're looking at me with a... No, no, that's fantastic. That's good. That's fantastic. There's a full... Yes. It will be in good taste. Yeah, right.

A tasteful nude. Don't you know, you see those sometimes you read articles, it was like, it was a tasteful nude shoot. No, no, what's tastefully nude? Yeah. You've got like bits of suggestive fruit

in front of certain areas. I mean, at that age, you probably want to be a little bit more conservative, as most people probably would be. But she's like... Good on her. Has she been in it before?

Yeah, she has. I think the last time she appeared in it was 1978. So a wee while ago. Well, there's rumours that she has full tattoos, sleeves, like tattoo sleeves, right? So I guess this will... We asked when we interviewed Miley Cyrus's brother

because the Cyrus family are very close with the Partons. I think Miley's godmother is Dolly Parton. And we asked Brazen, who's Miley's brother, and we're like, does he have tattoos? He's like, oh, that's not for me to say. I'll let her tell you. Which leads me to believe that she has them. I'll let her tell you. Which leads me to believe that she has them. I'll let her tell you.

Remember when we also thought Jacinda had a full back tattoo? Someone told us that. We tried to start that rumour as well. Full back tattoo of an eagle or something riding a Harley Davidson. What is she hiding from us? What else is she hiding from us? Why won't you answer? Oh, come on.

Well, maybe Dolly in this photo shoot for Playboy, you might see her full sleeve tattoos come out, you know? Oh, that's good on Dolly Parsons. Yeah, that's great. Will you be buying that issue, Ben? I know you're a... Oh, here we go. Well, they just send them to you, don't you?

You subscribe, 12 monthly. No, I don't. Move on, move on. There we go, move on. So, Liam Payne from One Direction. Who's still... Can I just come back to that? Who is still buying the actual magazines from the dairies?

I don't, well, yeah. Someone needs to tell them about the internet. Do they still sell them at dairies? Ah. I don't know. There's a problem with the conversation there. Anything you say is going to incriminate yourself. I don't know.

I was in the dairy the other day. Oh, yeah. And I was looking for a Home and Garden magazine. That's right. And then above it was the smut, the smut aisle. And I was like, who's still buying this filth? Shocking. Yeah, whatever you say.

And Liam Payne. So you bought them just to get them off the shelves, right? Just to get them out of it so no one else would look. Out of circulation. No one needs to see this. Not for public consumption. And Liam Payne from One Direction, he has shown Harry Potter actor Tom Felton,

who played Draco Malfoy. He has got a replica of, if you know Harry Potter, you'll know Hagrid's Hut. He's got one of those in his backyard, just casually. He showed them over FaceTime. And I'm like, wow, invite Liam.

I want to come over and see that. Thank you very much. I showed him over FaceTime and I'm like, wow, invite Liam. Like, I want to come over and see that. Thank you very much. I know, but it's going to be like we are with Hobbiton. Eventually time passes and you're like, oh, you guys,

you still got those things hanging from the airport in Wellington, you know? Like, we're still cashing in on Lord of the Rings. When did Lord of the Rings end? 30 years ago? Good question.

I don't know if it was 30 years ago, but a while ago, yeah. A while ago. It's the same with Harry Potter. Wonder, don't know if it was 30 years ago, but a while ago. A while ago. It's the same with Harry Potter. Don't get me wrong, wonderful books. I was going to roast you just then. Wonderful movie series, but Liam, at one stage he's going to have to explain what it is. What's that? Oh, Harry Potter.

It's quite a big thing. Yeah, that's a good point. I think he does have quite a young son. He'll be like me. He'll force Harry Potter on his children. Ben Boyce, you've got a big plastic cow in the back of your yard. I've got a five-plus cow in the back of my yard. Do you actually? I do.

A full-size cow, but it's a bit worse for wear. It's got moss and mould growing on it. Yeah, I know. I need to fix it. And then it's because it's got like an udder underneath, and you can kind of take it. But then the cat, our kitten was sleeping underneath the udder the other day. I was like, how do you explain this?

This is a weird look. Where did you even get this cow from? We used it on a TV show years ago. Now it just sits in the backyard. You love keeping the props, eh? I do. He's hilarious. His house is just props.

Basically, it's a prop rental centre. And if there's anyone who's in the market for a costume. Yeah. The neon sign that says Ben, then they come see me. He's even got a giant swear jar costume where you can get into it. It's a big swear jar.

Many options. We'll start a website and you can rent. Start a rental service. Great side hustle. That's five things to Old El Paso and you can launch into some mess free Mexican with their new tortilla pockets. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Why is it going to be a good day?

Love to hear from you on 0800 The Hits. And if you get on the air right now, we'll give you a golf ball so hopefully you can win $10,000 at the Holland One when we go there on Friday. You know what I thought of a fun saying when I was driving home yesterday? Life is like a motorway, isn't it? Sometimes you take... Off as a highway? That's the song, isn't it?

Oh, someone already done it. But did he go on about, you know Driving it all night long? Yeah, no But you take the wrong exit sometimes in life Oh Sometimes you have an accident Don't you?

Sometimes you just cruise on through Life is like a motorway J.R. Pryor, 2020 Someone put that at Te Papa What? The quote Okay Was it inspirational?

That was okay What do you mean That was okay. What do you mean it was okay? I liked it. Thanks, Julia. This is meant to be a positive segment. Oh, you're right. Yeah, no, I loved it.

Let's go to Angela in Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Angela. Why is it going to be a good day? Because I'm off to the beach on Friday and it it's a long-awaiting journey. You go and get some sand up in your grill. That's what you don't think about the beach, do you? When you look at the beach, you're like, oh, it's so good, but the logistics of sand.

But you go and enjoy that, though, Ange. Have a wonderful day. We'll flick you out a golf ball as well, so hopefully you can win 10 grand, okay? Thanks. Good on you. Tipani, welcome to the show. Why's it going to be a good day for you? Hey, mate, because I'm heading back to Parmi.

We've just been away in Auckland for the last couple of days. Oh, will you have a safe trip there? A six-hour drive, is it? Six-hour drive with the wife and the two kids in the back. Oh, lovely. Let's hear them. Let's hear the happiness. Hey, kids, scream that you're happy.

Scream. Hey, kids, scream if you're happy. Scream. Hey, kids, scream if you're happy. Like a happy scream. We'll get a figure out of golf ball. You drive safe, all right? Cheers, mate. All right, we've got time for one more. We'll go to Natalie.

Why is it going to be a good day for you, Nat? Oh, mate, I just found 10 bucks in my pocket. Oh, so good. It's like a little present to yourself, isn't it? It is. Oh, it's amazing. Nothing better than finding money in your pockets. I usually find a lot of bear caps that tend to go through the

wash. It's the bane of a gen my wife. She's like, can you pull the bear cap? Anyway, thank you very much. I'll stop rambling on about my alcohol problems. We'll give you a golf ball and hopefully you get 10 grand. You have yourself a great day, all right? Oh, she's on hold. Good on you, Natalie. Have a 10 grand. You have yourself a great day, all right? Oh, she's on hold. Good on you, Natalie.

Have a good one. You should have a great day. Appreciate everyone listening. We'll be back tomorrow from six to do it all again. Have a great Wednesday, New Zealand. Catch you then. What more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on The Hits

and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.