Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 09 - We Attempt The Hole In One Challenge In Lake Taupo!
Episode Date: October 11, 2020Over the last fortnight, Jono and Ben have been giving away 1000 balls to 1000 listeners. In this edition of the Jono and Ben podcast, the boys attempted the Lake Taupo Hole In One, if they strike a H...ole In One on any of the assigned balls, the listener with that number ball wins!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Jono and Ben, new to your mornings.
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Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.
Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben,
you can have them anywhere, anytime.
Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast.
One of the greatest displays of doubt that anybody has ever seen anything.
Today is the day for Jono and Ben's 10K Hole-in-One Challenge
and it's two hours until tee-off.
Good morning, New Zealand.
Jono and Ben with you.
We are sitting on the side of Lake Taupo.
I thought maybe,
although I don't want to start sounding like a diva,
but I thought maybe there'd be a room
that we could do the radio show from.
Oh, listen, if you had asked me, you know,
what's better than broadcasting a radio show
in a warm, air-conditioned studio,
I would say put us on the side of State Highway 1
in minus two freezing conditions
with trucks driving past.
And I would go, that's a happy broadcasting location.
That's where we want to be first thing in the morning.
There's a lovely lady with a dog.
Hello.
Good morning.
It is dark.
Are we here?
I don't know if she is lovely. I don't know. I just, you feel like obliged to say there's a lovely lady with a dog. Hello. Good morning. It is dark. Are we here? I don't know if she is lovely.
I don't know.
You feel like a blind.
I should say there's a lovely lady.
She might have done some horrible things in her life.
It's dark and cold.
The sun will hopefully be up shortly.
We're on the side of Lake Taupo.
We can see the hole in one that just after 8 o'clock today,
we're going to hit 1,000 golf balls at to try and win 10 grand for a listener.
That's right.
And, geez, we've got a bonanza of a program lined up for you.
Lee Hart, a comedian
joining us on the show, Jacinda Ardern.
You may know her as the Prime
Minister. She'll be with us after 8 o'clock
to launch the festivities today.
The first ball being hit just after
8 o'clock. What are you thinking? You got here now,
the first time to see the hole-in-one about
100 metres out on a pontoon. What do you
think our chances are? The same
as when we started this.
Zero.
I don't know what's
less than zero. Is there anything less than zero?
Negative something.
How about yourself, Ben?
We haven't hit a golf ball yet. We're not going to hit
one until after 8 o'clock. We were driving here this morning
going, imagine if we get it.
Like straight away.
It would be the greatest moment
in New Zealand broadcasting history.
Better than the time that Grant Kiriyama
donated a kidney to Jonah Longman.
Oh no, not as good.
That was a lovely gesture.
That was lovely.
Yeah, so it's getting on board.
Can't compare the two.
The soggy cornflakes of radio.
It's Jonah and Ben on the hits.
Scrolling through your feed.
Yeah, live from a freezing location by a freezing lake
from the sweet, sweet freezing lips of Benjamin Boyce
comes all the news that's broken overnight.
This is Scrolling Through Your Feed, ladies and gentlemen.
And, of course, there's an election going on next week in New Zealand,
but also one happening very shortly in the United States,
and they had the vice president debate between Mike Pence and...
Kamala Harris.
Kamala Harris.
And the candidates, they were separated by plexiglass because of coronavirus.
But the most prominent thing, the thing that everyone's talking about,
is a fly that rested on the top of Mike Pence's,
the deputy prime minister, the vice president's prime minister's white hair.
The vice president prime minister.
What is he?
I just gave him a new title.
The Colonel Sanders Vice President.
Prime Minister General.
Anyway, Mike Pence is up there.
A fly comes along and sits on his head for two minutes.
Two minutes?
Yeah, the fly was not budging.
That's what I always respect about the Australians.
They can have 3,000 flies crawling over their face
and still hold a conversation with them.
There's nothing to the Aussies.
Yeah, well, he's American.
I know, but in general, when I go to Australia
and I see them on the news with their cork hats,
there's like flies crawling all over their face.
Really respect that.
Ben Boyce, you actually wouldn't harm a fly, would you?
Because we got given these rifles,
like sort of a semi-automatic assault rifles
that you could kill flies with,
but you put in grains of salt and you shoot the flies.
They were like assault rifles or something.
And you're like, I don't want this.
I don't want this.
I don't want to shoot a fly.
They look quite like it.
Yeah, I didn't...
Who are you afraid of offending?
The fly-lubbing community?
I don't know if flies listen to the hits.
I'm not going to take that chance.
I'll take any listener.
And also, Burger King. Have you seen this? You might have seen this. It's all over's listening to the hits. I'm not going to take that chance. I'll take any listener. And also, Burger King.
Have you seen this?
You might have seen this.
It's all over the TV at the moment.
They've come up with a burger that is very similar to one from McDonald's.
Yeah, they've stolen the Big Mac recipe, but blatantly as well.
It's a controversial move.
And coming up after 7 o'clock, Jono and Ben present The Secret Sound.
We'll be doing that live, 10 past 7.
Yeah, it's the Burger King XL.
They've said it's the classic made better.
And, yeah, it just feels like they're kind of baiting,
potentially baiting.
They actually sent us some of these burgers on Monday morning
at like seven o'clock.
Yeah, it was probably too soon.
Everyone was like,
I don't really feel like four meat patties.
Right now, later in the day, yeah.
Breakfast meat patties.
I'll try that.
Yeah, but a controversial move.
Yes.
Legally.
Oh, legally.
I'm sure they've done all their due diligence and looked through it.
Well, a few years ago in Australia, I was reading Hungry Jacks,
which is similar to Burger King over there.
They came up with the Big Jack.
So not the Big Mac, the Big Jack.
They had a few legal problems with that.
But you can just do the Big Mac and there's no problems.
Well, I don't know.
I'm not a lawyer.
Why am I asking you?
I barely knew who Mike Pence was just before.
You called him a President Prime Minister.
Look, it's very cold.
We're sitting on the side of Lake Taupo,
and 8 o'clock this morning we're going to be hitting 1,000 golf balls
to try and win you $10,000.
We've still got a few more to give away as well,
so a chance for you guys to win.
Remember to double pump the vogels.
It's Jono and Ben on the hits.
We're about an hour and a half away from hitting 1,000 golf balls at the Hole-in-One attraction here in Lake Taupo.
We had a dream, didn't we, Jono?
Well, I did, and I feel like I put you along and you're hating life at the moment.
Yeah, this is, no part of this is my dream.
I'm just here as a, unfortunately there's an and in between our names and anything he decides to do, I have to come along for the ride.
I'm just collateral damage.
I've always wanted to get a hole-in-one here
and we're giving it the best shot today.
I haven't, but I'm here anyway.
We've got 1,000 balls, 1,000 attempts.
We're going to give away some balls,
allocate some balls very shortly to you guys.
But this is how the whole journey has played out.
Nato, welcome from Wellington.
Hole-in-one legend, we understand. Anyone can hit an amazing shot. guys, but this is how the whole journey has played out. Welcome from Wellington. Hole in one
legend we understand.
Anyone can hit an amazing shot
and get it in. That vague pep talk
will pull me through, Natho.
Sir Graham Henry, any advice from
a great coach like you? Get your breathing right.
Get your breathing right. Have you actually hit a golf
ball before?
Maybe there's more
important things than breathing.
Maybe we could talk to a clairvoyant and just see if there's anything
out there. I don't see either
of you. Hang up on her. Hang up on her.
New Zealand's top golfer is Ryan
Fox. Do you think it's possible that
one of us could fluke a hole-in-one?
It's highly unlikely. You're right.
We can't go in there with false hopes.
Hayley, you're on the air. I play
soccer and I believe in you.
You guys are going to get this.
What would the professional golfer know?
Let's listen to the amateur football player.
Exactly.
Here we are, Lake Taupo, where we're going to be next week.
You reckon I can get it in?
No.
Nailed it, nailed it.
Oh, no.
Jono and Ben coming to attempt the hole-in-one is the talk of the town.
Is it? We met with professional golfer Phil Tautarangi. Yeah! Jono and Ben coming to attempt the hole-in-one is the talk of the town.
Is it?
We met with professional golfer Phil Tautarangi.
With one shot, here was Jono's attempt.
Now, what do you think his chances are, Phil?
Zero to none.
Zero to none.
You both shut up.
Is there something less than zero?
I didn't do much better.
Here we go.
It's gone off and it's hit an elderly gentleman in the head.
There's a hole over there somewhere.
Oh, yes. I'm just getting a message through from the people, Ben,
and they're saying, thank you very much
for that conveniently timed recap package
featuring highlights of the journey so far.
Yeah, so that has led us
to sitting on the side of Lake Taupo this
morning. Just, you know,
no covering, no
shelter. We're just here in a couple of plastic chairs. But let's not complain. Let's give away some more. Well, you know, no covering, no shelter. We're just here in a couple of plastic
chairs. But let's not complain. Let's give away
some balls. I know where you are. You've spent
six o'clock. What's the time now? For 35 minutes.
So what you've been doing is... I just thought maybe there would have been
less of a... But not complaining. You mean passive... Quick up or something?
Passive, aggressively complaining.
Or maybe... A room?
Anyway, anyway, we're here now. Let's give away
some last-minute balls. Cherie, you're on the air
from Auckland. You tell us in two words why you want a ball.
New curtains for a house.
New curtains.
New curtains.
Well, I tell you what, these balls could get you some new curtains, my friend.
And you're also in the drawer for that private boat charter on Chris Jolly Outdoors.
You, six friends, Lake Popo, new curtains.
What about it?
You have a great day, and we'll allocate a ball to you.
Hopefully you can win 10 grand.
Shall we go to Matamata?
Wilma, how are you?
Wilma?
Yes, hello.
I love the name Wilma.
Yeah, it's a nice name.
Wilma?
I love your Flintstones.
Are you too young for that?
No, I love the Flintstones as well.
Yeah, you know what always confused me about the Flintstones was their cars.
They used their feet with their cars.
That's right.
Why wouldn't they just walk?
Well, too bad, but you know, they're faster.
Anyway, let's not get stuck into plot holes with the Flintstones.
Their wheels were also stone as well.
Yeah, they made it very difficult on themselves.
But anyway, hey, Wilma, we're going to give you a golf ball.
Best of luck, and also in the draw for that boat charter.
Oh, fantastic.
Thank you very much.
Hey, let's go to Tash.
Tash, whereabouts
in New Zealand are you, matey?
Tash.
Oh, hey.
Where are you, mate?
I'm about two k's
down the road from you guys
on Lake Tupu.
Oh, there we go.
You could come down
and talk to us,
but you decided not to.
That's fine.
We'll move on.
Do you want to win a ball? I've got work. I'd love to win a ball. Oh, okay. go. You could come down and talk to us, but you decided not to. That's fine. We'll move on. Do you want to win a ball?
I've got work.
I've got work.
I've got work.
You want the winning ball?
Well, you have got the winning ball, Tash.
Well done.
And also, you can go on your backyard on a private boat charter, potentially.
You're in the draw for that, okay, mate?
Hey, perfect.
Love you, Tash, even though you can't be bothered coming 200 metres down the road to see us
I've got life to save
You go save those lives
Well thank you, we'll allocate some more
balls before 7 o'clock
so you can hopefully win 10 grand
Serving bowls of loels for breakfast
Actual loels may not be served
It's Jono and Ben on the heads
We're just watching our producer Ben
Producer Brent Humphrey has, I'll tell you what, got quite a knack with the old golf balls.
There we go.
Yeah.
That's going to land on the pontoon 200 metres away.
He should be the one doing it this morning.
But anyway, he's not.
We are, and I don't think we're quite as good as that.
Call him Tiger Woods.
You know, not the shady few years that he had where he shacked up with 900 ladies.
The good years of Tiger Woods.
He's going to hit the pontoon as well.
Jesus, Ben. Ben. And, you know,'s going to hit the pontoon as well. Jesus.
Ben.
And, you know, this is shocking commentary from us.
We're just surprised.
We're not golf commentators by any stretch.
Now, this morning on the way here, we got up nice and early to come down to sit on the side to do the radio show.
Sit on the side of the lake.
And, yeah, we've got a couple of.
Oh, we wanted to get a coffee.
Yeah.
There's a couple of orchids out of town.
Let's get a coffee.
Oh, I was dying for a soy latte.
Lactose intolerant, of course.
Yeah.
And hello, mate.
How are you?
What's your name?
Pitty.
Pitty.
I should stop getting so distracted.
Yeah, we're having a conversation.
Sorry, we're on the radio.
Pitty's just turned up.
Lovely to meet you, mate.
So we're going to get a coffee, and then we ordered, what did you order?
A couple of flat whites.
Soy mocha, yeah, a couple of flat whites.
A couple of boring flat white guys ordering flat whites.
And they came back long black.
Yeah, they weren't flat whites.
But then we had that dilemma going,
well, we're a couple of people come from Auckland,
we can't be the cliche Aucklanders complaining about flat whites.
Yeah, so we didn't complain.
We decided that we'd just leave them.
So we didn't have them.
And so we went to another place to order more.
And then we're like oh this is taking
ages
This is ridiculous
I was getting out of the car looking in the window I was getting wetter and the lady came out
She's like sorry for the delay. I'm like oh, that's fine. It's fine. No problem. You did the most Kiwi thing ever
You were just like 20 seconds before that you're talking about this is ridiculous. How long does it take to make a good one?
Oh I've got a suit. Give them a good suit. And then the lady comes out lovely and she's like I'm sorry but you're like to me going this is ridiculous how long does it take to make a bad lie give them a good serve
and then the lady
comes out lovely
and she's like
I'm sorry but
you're like yeah
no worries
no worries at all
you're like well hang on
moments before
you were complaining
about how long it took
as soon as the person
comes up
you're like
I don't know
that's fine
I'll happily do it
behind their back
just onto their phone
never complained
to anyone's face
I'm a New Zealander
Ben Boyce
eggs for breakfast
it's Jono and Ben
on my heads.
Spy.
Launch into
mess free Mexican
with the new
Old El Paso
tortilla pockets.
Now as we're about
to do the hole in one
a lady who is on par
with celebrity gossip
about to take a swing
at some of these
famous people
in a dark hole.
What?
Some of that made sense.
Some of that didn't, but I think...
She's in an exclusive club.
There she is, Juliette the Spy.
Thanks very much.
So Ed Sheeran has been seen out with his baby daughter,
Lyra Antarctica, she is called,
for the first time since they announced the birth.
He was stepping out.
He came out of a home in London holding the little carrier.
But what I was disappointed by,
they blurred the faces of the child.
I'm like, I want to see what this baby looks like.
Well, I'm sure Ed Sheeran's not disappointed
by that. It's a good-me-the-child
privacy reason. Unpixelated
child. I want to see all of that baby.
I know. So I'm quite
disappointed by that. Does the baby have, what colour
hair does the baby have? I don't know. I want to see
ginger hair. I want to see if it's pixelated. I know.
I hope it's ginger. I hope Ed Sheeran,
did you ever, when you had babies being boys, have the front pack where you'd strap onto
your chest?
Oh, yeah.
I tried a little bit.
I can imagine you rocking that.
I tried to rock it once.
A lot of weight.
A lot of front weight, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would pay to see you guys do that.
That'd be adorable.
A couple of great dads.
A couple of great dads.
Just off to the supermarket.
Do some supermarket shopping.
Walking around with the front pack. Yeah. Yeah. I do like, do some supermarket shopping. Walking around with the front pack, yeah.
Yeah, no, I do like the front.
Sometimes you see the celebrities with the front pack and you're like, damn it.
Not even a celebrity can look cool with a front pack.
It's like with a GoPro on your head.
No one looks cool at all, you're right.
And Lewis Capaldi, he, so there were rumours that he was going to join that X-rated site,
Only Fans, where people pay a subscription to see sort of naughty
photos of celebrities.
And he said he wouldn't go on it, not
because he's a multi-millionaire, but because he's
got a wee, he's got a small...
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know, but then sometimes
he's like, yeah, I'm a sex god, you know, and
Graham Norton, he jokes about how
sexy he is. I love his
vibe, Capone. Oh, I know.
Yeah, he's very similar to Ed Sheeran, too.
He just seems like a good, decent, you know?
Yeah, I would love to have a drink with that man, I think.
Yeah, Lewis Capaldi wouldn't pixelate his baby.
No.
You'd see all of that baby.
Little baby, baby.
Exactly.
And Harry Potter fans, including myself,
are really shocked and disappointed to discover
that Draco Malfoy,
who's quite a significant character in the franchise,
total, his screen time was only 31 minutes across all seven movies.
Really?
Yeah.
But he was such a big character in the movies.
I know.
It's bizarre.
But also, who spent that time counting that?
Oh, my God, there are ducks.
There's three ducks walking past.
Put the mic up to the ducks, Ben.
Get some audio.
Get some audio.
Take your headphones off.
See if we can get some live ducks on the side of Lake Taupo.
What do you want to say about the hole-in-one challenge, ducks?
Good luck, guys.
Hope it goes well for you.
We're going to buzz off right now.
We're going to fly off.
Aren't ducks great?
Ducks are so inquisitive but also quite suspicious of you at the same time.
They are. Aren't they? That was lovely. That was a bit of also quite suspicious of you at the same time. They are.
Aren't they?
That was lovely.
That was a bit of spy with a bit of ducks.
Yeah, I love it.
I guarantee no other radio show's got live ducks on this morning.
No.
For good reason, though.
And that's five things to Old El Paso.
They've got some new tortilla pockets that you can launch into some mess-free Mexican with.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can catch up with the boys anytime.
Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. want more jonathan ben you can catch up with the boys anytime just search jonathan ben on facebook
we are sitting on the side of lake taupo and about uh 45 minutes time we start hitting golf
balls towards the pontoon here at the hole in one to try and win someone ten thousand dollars
a bit cold joined by a couple of ducks before yeah we were we were you keep saying it's cold
you keep moaning there's no shelter you keep seeing like there's a hotel across the road we
could have just broadcast out of there.
A lot of passive-aggressive digs.
But he's only doing them on a microphone.
He's not facing producer Humphrey.
I feel like these are all aimed at you, Ben Humphrey.
I'm having a great time.
Actually, there was a couple of ducks hanging around before,
and it reminded me of last time I was here staying in a hotel.
I had a little bit of a traumatic experience with one of the ducks
because we left some sliding doors open.
We were right by the lake.
And one of the ducks came inside.
I was like, that's fine.
He was looking for some food.
And I'm like, all good.
You never look around.
But then obviously he kind of freaked out
when he saw me
and then flew out
and not realising there was a sliding door.
And he didn't get the open part of the sliding door,
just flew straight into the glass.
Oh, the poor thing.
That's funny though.
It's funny when people do that.
He sort of shook it off, and then he kind of found the exit and went out.
But I was like, oh, the poor thing.
As a human, you get so embarrassed when you do that, don't you?
And it's always in front of a huge mob of people.
You're like, why did this glass window have to be right here?
Yeah, so that was my story of a bit of a hotel horror last time I was here in Topol.
Well, remember we were staying in the one just up the road?
We were emceeing something, like an awards night,
and it was a hotel, and we'd finished for the evening,
and the owner of the hotel was like,
oh, just so you know, we were just walking off to bed,
he says, just so you know, your wing of the hotel is haunted.
You know, two things you don't want to hear.
Is he just about to go to bed?
Maybe, number one, you're going to have to sleep with Mum and Dad tonight
because there's only one bed.
And number two, your hotel room is haunted.
Haunted hotel room.
It's all good.
Friendly.
They're friendly.
But yeah, just so you know.
They were friendly.
They said please and thank you as they were probing me.
As I was taking my soul.
So they were polite, guys.
Actually, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, oh!
There was a ghost in the room and it was just me in a mirror, naked.
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing.
It's Jono and Ben on the hits.
The A to Z of New Zealand.
This is where we call a different town or city in New Zealand.
We do one a day.
We're slowly making our way around in New Zealand,
learning something about each place we call.
That's right.
Today we're going to head to Hampton, which is a small town in North Otago.
It lies 35km south of Wamaru and 80km south of the city of Dunedin.
It is home to the Wairaki Boulders, which is also the nickname I give Ben Boyce's biceps.
They are wonderful biceps.
The current temperature in Hampton right now is about 6 degrees, and the local time is about 7.20.
Yeah, it's the same time as here, mate.
Oh, is it?
That's a different time zone.
And we're about to go through to Hamden now, the local Foursquare.
Hello, Hamden Foursquare.
OMG, how are you? Very well, thank you. Is this Hamden? It is Hamden Foursquare. OMG, how are you?
Very well, thank you.
Is this Hamden?
It is Hamden.
It's Jonathan and Benjamin from the Hits radio station.
Hello, how are you?
Yeah, we're doing well.
Now, we're calling every town and city in New Zealand one a day,
and today it's your town's turn.
Perfect.
We learn about every town.
Do you know how many of them there are in New Zealand?
How many?
How many towns and cities there are in New Zealand?
I haven't got to call.
570.
570, okay.
And we're calling one a day.
We're in for the long haul, babes.
Sounds like it.
So what can you tell us about Hamden?
Hamden is a beautiful coastal town.
Well, same town.
We're a wee village.
Whereabouts in New Zealand?
We're down the east coast,
one hour north of Dunedin.
Oh, in the South Island.
Okay.
Are you near the Muraki Boulders?
We are a five-minute drive
from the Muraki Boulders.
Oh, there we go.
I've seen the boulders
and I was like,
oh, okay.
You haven't been in the store
for an ice cream then?
Oh, no.
You're more angry.
Clap your legs.
Yeah, mate. You get in the. Pop your legs. Yeah, mate.
You're getting in the store for an ice cream.
Why don't I come to Hamden where it's currently five degrees for an ice cream?
What?
You're at about five degrees.
We're busking in sunshine, Dave.
Yeah, you take that back.
I'm offended.
I've never been there.
But yeah.
How long have you lived there?
20 years.
Oh, 20 years.
I detect an accent.
Yes, I'm from England.
Did you move from England straight to Hampton?
No, we flew over here in the year, beginning of the year 2000,
to see my brother in the North Island.
He lived out in West Auckland.
And then we flew down here.
We just travelled around for two years.
Oh, and tell me, compare it to England.
Just one second.
It's John Owen Band from the radio station.
Oh.
He's like, who's she talking to?
John's just saying, what do they want?
What do they want?
You're getting all wound up about not getting ice creams
and me saying the wrong temperature.
A hell of a commotion in store.
Now, do you know what we're doing today?
We're in Lake Taupo.
We're trying to hit a golf ball into the hole-in-one attraction.
We've got 1,000 shots, and we're trying to get a golf ball into the hole-in-one attraction. We've got a thousand shots
and we're trying to get it in
to win money,
$10,000.
Okay,
I'm up for $2,000.
Go on then.
$10,000.
I'm not just going to
give it to you,
unfortunately.
Just one second.
The girl doesn't believe me
that it's...
Okay,
I was going to get some
boss chat about the golf thing,
but that's not important.
She doesn't want to hear
about your boring story, mate.
Go on, sorry.
Carry on.
No, that's right.
That's right. Put on... No, that's all right. That's all right.
Put on.
No, that's gone.
We're going to be here for two days.
Pass you on to the girl.
One second.
Okay, all right.
There we go.
Maybe she wants to hear about her hole-in-one.
No, she's run away now.
She didn't want to hear about the hole-in-one.
Anyway, we're here for two days, and that's my story anyway.
I've got to answer a question, Emma Jane.
Oh, sorry.
Carry on.
Emma, tell Emma Jane to just say, hold her horses ask her a question, Emma Jane. Oh, sorry, carry on. Tell Emma Jane to just say,
hold her horses. Hold your horses,
Emma Jane.
Oh, it's been lovely talking to you. It's okay.
If you ever come to Hamden, we'll come and
have an ice cream. So what are we doing about the hole in one?
What's this? Oh, now you want to know.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, we'll allocate a
golf ball to you, and so
if we get your golf ball in, you'll win the $10,000.
Perfect.
All right, and we're doing a draw on Monday if we don't get it in at all,
so you've still got a possibility of $10,000 going to be won by someone, all right?
Okay.
Yeah, you don't sound that good.
What's going on?
Talk to us.
It sounds like there's a lot going on.
One of them just said it's a scam.
Oh, it's a scam.
I said it.
Now, all you need to do is give us your credit card number.
Yeah, just a little bond.
No, no, it's not a scam.
I don't have a credit card.
I'm not that silly.
It's not a scam.
It's not a scam.
You hold the line.
Oh, yes, get your details.
It sounds like a scam, doesn't it?
Well, can you give us Emma Jane's credit card?
Give you Emma Jane's credit card number.
Yeah, and the little number on the back.
I'm not telling you what she's just done.
You hold the line
and we will actually
allocate a ball
to your name, alright?
Okay, cheers.
Thank you so much.
Nice talking to you.
See ya.
Cheers.
Hey, you've got
toothpaste on the
side of your mouth.
It's Jono and Ben
on my heads.
We're just talking
hotel horrors.
What's happened to you
in a hotel?
Your best hotel story
basically.
That's right, yeah.
I don't know why
it's called Hotel Horrors.
It's a radio.
We have to do alliteration.
First rule of radio.
Second rule of radio, you've got to do everything naked.
Stunt-wise, that is not...
We don't all just turn up to the...
Broadcast naked.
Yeah, we don't just turn up to the...
No, it's not an office of naturists or anything.
I didn't like that when you suggested that.
Absolutely nightmare.
But yeah, I woke up this morning at our motel.
Tell you what, someone had finally crafted three flannels into a dove.
Into a dove! Three flannels! Oh, what? Oh into a dove. Into a dove?
Three flannels?
Oh, what?
Oh, like the shape of a dove?
Yeah, just sitting there on the bathroom.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Whose job is it to take three flannels and mould them into a dove?
I don't know, but that's impressive.
Full respect to that.
You know when you're using a flannel in a motel?
I was rubbing it this morning.
I was just imagining halfway through how many faces have been on this piece of material.
And I'm just adding to that number, baby.
They do wash it.
They do wash it.
A lot of face.
A lot of face time.
So we want to know your best hotel story this morning.
Hotel horrors, Ben.
Remember, it's alliteration.
Hotel horrors.
Story?
You want to know the story?
Yeah, I'll get one more story.
I feel like you're just an old man taken out from the day, from the retirement home. You're sitting here
in golfing checkered pants. You've got a
golfing hat, a cheese cutter hat on. You're just
telling me stories now. That's right. Sitting on a plastic chair
on the side of the road telling stories.
A friend of mine was staying in a motel.
Above him was a truck driver who
had obviously done a long shift. Fell asleep
when he had run the bath.
And so he was asleep on the bed. The bath
kept running. Flooded the entire hotel.
Oh, my goodness.
You name a part of the hotel.
The reception.
Flooded.
Another part.
The office.
Flooded.
Next part.
A room.
Flooded.
Yeah, okay.
Every part of it flooded.
Crazy.
All right.
Let's go to Petra.
Welcome.
You're on New Zealand's Breakfast.
What happened to you in a hotel, Petra?
Emily, what happened to you in a hotel?
You can't remember the name.
My one's a bit of an emotional scar, some would say.
I was a little girl, and my mum was taking me to a motel for a week.
And she showed me photos.
There was this amazing,
beautiful pool there
and I was super excited,
really, really for it.
And then when we got there,
they had closed down the pool
for renovations for a week.
Oh.
And you can't swim
in a renovated pool.
No.
I had an epic meltdown
in the reception
for a good hour and a half.
An hour and a half?
90 minutes?
I was really excited for this pool.
I was really ready for this pool.
You know there's other pools.
90 minutes.
That's it.
Emily Hurte has made a new pool.
You filled up the pool.
We're going to allocate you a golf ball,
so hopefully you can win $10,000, all right?
Oh, perfect. Cheers.
Good on you, Emily.
Let's go to Tanita.
Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Tanita.
What happened to you in a hotel, matey?
So it wasn't actually me.
It was a friend of mine who is housekeeping
for a rather prominent hotel chain in Christchurch.
Let's name them.
No, no.
That was his prerequisite. Let's name them. No, no. That was his prerequisite.
Don't name them.
So she actually sent a photo of this,
but you know how in hotels,
they don't have smoke alarms like you'd find in a house.
They have those little wee ones that stick out of the roof,
just little ones.
Yeah, I know the ones.
It looks like a sprinkler.
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
So she walked in to find that someone had put a condom over it.
It was just hanging there.
It was a wild night for Ben, boys.
Here we go.
He found some stuff in his fridge.
What other stuff did you get up to in that room, mate?
You're insane.
We're going to flick you
out a golf ball
and hopefully
you can win $10,000
if we nail your ball
in the hole in one.
You have a great Friday,
all right?
Thank you, too.
New Zealand's breakfast.
Just don't eat them.
They're chewy.
It's Jono and Ben
on the hits.
What I didn't factor in
is broadcasting
lakeside
is the elements.
The cold elements.
A little colder now.
A little colder, yeah.
But it's going to warm up
a wee bit later on
and things are starting
to get hot right now
because the late night
Big Breakfast returns
to TV on Sunday night
on Duke.
It's a comedy chat show.
If you haven't seen it before
it's hilarious
and instead of a studio
they film the show
inside a real
working furniture store.
It stars Lee Hart and Jeremy Wells
and guests like the Prime Minister
and he should be back in our hit studio right now
Lee Hart, are you there?
Yeah, great to be here, thank you
Do you know Lee, Ben is always threatening me
that if he ever offs me
you're the better version
the better version
the older version
far funnier, but I'm very excited about the late. The older version. Yeah, but far funnier. But it's good.
I'm very excited
about the late night
big breakfast coming back.
Yeah,
that is exciting
in many ways.
A bit ominous.
It's been a while,
I think.
It actually doesn't seem
like a long time.
It was five years.
Is that right?
Well,
that's what people are saying.
I think it's more like four,
but we did a version
online somewhere.
I think here at Watch Me
at one point.
So,
because you film in Target
on Dominion Road,
do they leave the store open when you're filming?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, we work office hours there.
So, it's like 8.30, 8.30 till 5.
Look, that is the most,
I don't want people to take us up on this,
but it's probably the most efficient studio in the country then.
You know, on a budget,
you can move from couch to lounge suite to futon,
and it looks like you've got a massive budget.
Because every...
He's moving from set to decision.
Studio A, futons, Studio studio b wooden furnishings you know studio c lounges and um three cities
you're beginning to know the staff on a personal level oh we're great i mean and the specials
well the specials we know them inside out and a lot of the crew the film crew i mean they didn't
really know this when they signed up they they said, well, that's a bit lower than my normal TV wages
that I'm getting here.
And I go, yeah, but remember, you're also selling furniture.
So a lot of these people, they get a percentage of their sales,
so they might be a cameraman, but if he can sell two futons
on a shift, he's on good money.
You know what, if you don't mind, I think we'll just call Target
and just see what sort of employee your crews are.
Our opening hours, please dial 9.
If you know your party's extension, you can dial that at any time.
Otherwise, please choose one of the following options.
What department do you see?
After sales service, please dial 1.
To talk to our sales professionals, please dial 2.
For pick-up or delivery...
That'll come through to you.
That'll come right back to my mobile.
Oh, hello.
Who have we got hold of here?
You've got hold of Asif from Target Mount Eden Branch.
Welcome.
It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station here.
How are you?
I'm great.
How are you?
We've got Lee Hart with us,
who filmed a TV show in your store.
Oh, yes, he did.
He did.
He's here with us.
Hi, Asif.
Hi, hi. How are you? Did you enjoy us
filming the show there? It wasn't too
what's the word for it?
Disruptive. Do you want me to be
honest?
No, no it's for radio so
talk it up.
You loved having him there right?
Yes, yes we loved having you guys over here
it was great.
And good.
Any specials this week at Target that you want to get on air?
This week, we do have the Trent sofa bed.
That's going for $899, which is an amazing deal.
That's a good one.
Always use the opportunity to promote, yeah?
Oh, very good.
That's great.
Very accommodating store.
Nice to talk to you, all right?
Have a great day.
Do you also do kids' birthday parties?
Because I could hold one of their too.
Thank you.
What about guys that have been kicked out of their house?
Can I stay in the bed for a couple of weeks?
Well, I did.
Oh, you did?
That was good.
Now, I was reading up about you last night in articles.
It's hard to know whether something's a joke
or whether it's actually legit,
but you started off trying to be in a rock and roll band
and then somehow, did people get arrested in France or is that a joke?
No, no, that's true.
I wanted to get into music as opposed to TV.
We went overseas on tour to
Scotland and Europe and France
eventually. Highlights
there was playing with Jimmy Barnes in France
at a ski resort. He came
and did, played our gigs with us. It was quite cool.
Was Barnes the opening for you
or were you um
a bit of both uh actually that's quite funny he was our gig and he we kind of conned him into
showing up and told the whole community and you know the whole australasian community from the of
europe that he was coming in and we didn't know if he wasn't because he hadn't committed so we
were playing and the place was packed you know about
three quarters of this gig we're going this is not looking good and then sure enough he walks in
through the back door like some sort of cowboy sits down and next thing you know he's on stage
just going nuts and we're just playing every song we know and he had to sing our stuff because we
didn't know his stuff you know like you know, you know this one? He was like, no, really? He didn't care, because he just, whatever key,
he would just go for it.
Really respected that.
But then about a day later, we got arrested.
And at one point, we even thought about ringing him up
to get some money to bail us out.
You're at the gig as well.
One phone call to Barnsley.
Oh, what happened at the gig?
Got you arrested.
Well, we were sort of getting a few noise complaints,
and they dug deeper.
Didn't really have work permits.
Working illegally, that sort of stuff.
And we ended up going to this deportation jail
for like 12 days in Lyon prison.
It used to be where the Gestapo used to take people in France.
I actually researched it quite recently, this actual building.
And so we're getting deported.
They do it in such a roundabout way.
It takes as long as post type of thing in a way.
They can hold you for as much as a week plus three more days or something.
They're like the Edmonds shocking on this.
And I was saying to Matt, the drummer of the band,
because he was a little bit worried about it.
I said, look, don't worry about it.
It's just going to be like a departure.
No big deal.
No big deal.
We're in this van.
Pull around the corner.
There's barbed wire and there's machine guns and everything.
And I go, oh, shit.
Here we go.
So it was like a prison.
Oh, yeah.
It was a prison.
So everyone else in there was from Morocco
and all sort of Northern Africa,
I suppose now.
And they're getting deported back there.
And us, these two Kiwis.
What did you guys do?
Oh, we put on a concert with Jimmy Barnes.
And there was hunger strikes going on in there.
Oh, wow, you're really part of it.
Yeah, we didn't get part of that.
We're actually taking people's meals
that were having hunger strikes.
You're obviously not eating that,
are you?
You're going to finish that baguette?
Okay, thanks.
Oh, it's so good.
Yeah, so long story
short after that,
we came back to
New Zealand and I
thought, oh, maybe
take a bit of break
for the band and
sort of ran about
while you got into
TV.
And there you go,
the rest is history.
The late night big
breakfast this Sunday
night on Duke.
Morning, it's
Jono and Ben on the hips.
We're sitting on the side of Lake Taupo
very shortly, just after 8 o'clock
we're talking to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern
she is going to launch our
mission to try and get
a golf ball in the hole in one here, win
someone $10,000. Yeah, got a thousand balls
to do it, all the balls going to be dedicated
to the fine listeners of the hits. If we don't
do it, we give away the money regardless on Monday and I don't even know the Prime Minister knows she's launching this. We're's going to be dedicated to the fine listeners of the hits. If we don't do it, we give away the money regardless on Monday.
And I don't even know the Prime Minister knows she's launching this.
We're just going to spring it on her.
Does she not know?
We'll see how good a Prime Minister she is then.
If she can launch a novelty golf expedition.
Now, we're joined now here at Lakeside in Taupo by a long drive expert.
Dan Crook is his name.
Now, Dan, tell me about some of the longest drives you've taken because I drove from Nelson to Bluff. Oh, that's a long drive. That's a long drive expert. Dan Crook is his name. Now, Dan, tell me about some of the longest drives you've taken
because I drove from Nelson to Bluff.
Oh, that's a long drive.
That's a long drive.
Through Murchison.
That's a great drive.
Yeah, it's a great drive.
I've done Auckland to Wellington before.
That's quite a long drive.
What about yourself?
What's your longest drive?
379 metres.
Oh, okay.
So that's not as far as I've driven, but that's fine.
No, no, no, seriously. It's a golf long drive. 370 how much? 379 metres. Oh, okay, so that's not as far as I'm driving, but that's fine. No, no, no, seriously, it's golf long drive, 370 how much?
379 metres, so that's just over 14 yards.
So this is your job, hit golf balls as far as you can.
Oh, it's not my main job, but it's definitely something I put a lot of effort into,
and there are a lot of people that do it full time.
So you had an event here yesterday for the kids.
You know, we all love the kids.
They're the future, aren't they?
And you had a little seven-year-old hitting it.
How far into the line?
Oh, we had a young guy from Christchurch come up,
and he would have been, I don't know, about three foot two.
Yeah.
And he hit the ball 125 metres carry,
so he was absolutely pumping it for a little fella.
Now, how far is the hole from where we are?
We're looking at about 108 metres, I think.
108 metres, okay.
So that's a putt for you, pretty much.
I don't think a putt is going to get there, actually.
It's definitely a handy sandwich.
Have you landed a hole-in-one here?
No.
Have you ever landed a hole-in-one?
Jono, it's embarrassing to say, 25 years of golf and I have never had a hole-in-one.
Well, they were saying, because yesterday I think some of our team were setting up, well, I have never had a hole-in-one. Well, they were saying because yesterday I think some of our team were setting up,
well, you were here at the hole-in-one.
Then you're like, well, you were going like 200 yards past the hole-in-one.
So maybe that's part of your problem.
You're driving 300 yards as opposed to 100.
Club selection is key.
Right.
Yeah, so obviously you're picking a driver up, you're not going 109 metres.
He had a ball from here to Wellington.
Still going. still flying.
So what advice would you give us?
Because you're hanging out today, you're spotting.
I don't know if you're going to, I don't know if you're necessary
because I don't know how close we're going to get to the pontoon.
Won't be spotting much.
What advice would you give us?
Warm up.
Warm up?
Yeah, because you're going to be doing it for a long time.
Your body is fragile.
You guys are definitely getting long in the tooth.
We are fragile.
Thanks for that honesty.
When I stand naked in front of the mirror,
I look like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.
Oh, dear.
So we'll see if this body can pull us through, eh?
Yeah.
To you shortly.
Nice to catch up with you this morning, Dan.
Thanks, Dan.
Cheers, Jono.
What more Jono and Ben? You to catch up with you this morning, Dan. Thanks, Dan. Cheers, Jono and Ben.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can catch up with the boys anytime.
Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.
Joining us on the phone now, I think the Prime Minister might be on hold.
You always do like a little joke, a little what? A welcome to Cinderin.
Hello, the weed referendum hotline.
Would you like to publicly state which way you are voting?
See, I heard the whole build-up to that, including the planning.
Getting worse, not better.
Everyone's been bagging on about,
why won't she tell us which way you're voting?
But you have voted already.
I don't want to know what you voted in the referendum,
but I want to know who you voted party vote.
Can you tell us?
Labour.
Labour?
Oh, I can't.
Are you sure?
Controversial.
Controversial.
Yeah.
You think they're good to run the country, do you?
Okay.
Yeah, it is a good thing if you're voting for yourself.
Someone asked me whether or not you're allowed to do that.
You absolutely can. I think that's encouraged yeah although as a kiwi you probably feel it's a bit
self-indulgent you know it's quite a new zealand thing oh i should vote for myself
exactly a little bit shy about it okay prime minister i want to give you some hard-hitting
questions if you don't mind you do mind no no no that no. That was me worrying slightly that I can hear a two-year-old approaching.
Oh, is that Niamh?
Oh, Niamh.
Do you see much of Clark and Niamh during these crazy campaign days?
No, no, I don't.
She's just got out of bed, so this is my little chance to see her before I hit the road.
Oh, listen, and we're taking up your valuable mother-daughter talk.
I'm going to wait for Mummy until she gets off the phone.
Oh, sorry, you're talking to Jono and Ben.
That's disappointing.
Actually, Prime Minister, speaking of hard-hitting questions,
you got asked about milk, the price of milk the other day.
Yes, and I still defend my answer.
Well, I'm just going to defend you as well because you said $4.50.
I was looking on Countdown.
It depends on what brand you buy, but there's some for $4.50.
Yeah, there's Anka, two litres, $4.50.
I know.
I didn't want to bang on about it, but I got a little bit done over on the question.
You're like, I definitely knew.
Is that the thing that you and Judith had to prepare for?
You have to go to the supermarket and get the price of every item on the shelf
just in case they had it with you in a debate.
No, I genuinely do, you know,
not as often as I used to,
shop at a grocery store,
but obviously I'm not one frequently
doing a 2kg legal lamb for a Sunday.
I want to ask you another question.
What's your coffee?
When you have coffee,
what does Jacinda Ardern drink?
Oh, my coffee's embarrassing, but all right.
I drink single shot flat whites.
Oh, that's not embarrassing.
Why are you embarrassed by that?
I've been mocked for that badly.
It's single shot just because I drink so much tea that I've just got to...
Otherwise, you don't want an over-caffeinated Prime Minister.
You just don't.
The last thing we need.
You're just turning up to press conferences not blinking.
Yeah.
Are you quite a big tea drinker, are you?
A lot.
A lot of tea.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, good answer.
When signing up for websites.
Preparing for my retirement.
When signing up for websites, do you use the same password
or do you use 20 different passwords?
It might be sensitive government information.
There's going to be someone out there listening to this
in the cybersecurity government waiting for this answer.
I try and follow all the rules around having long, difficult,
and multiple passwords.
Okay.
And then writing them down in obvious places.
What a bonanza of a conversation we've had.
And next week, guess what, Jacinda?
We do this face-to-face.
You're coming in to see us?
We do, we do.
I look forward to the hard-hitting questions face-to-face.
You're like, what are they going to ask me next week?
Now, Prime Minister, we're on the side of Lake Taupo at the moment.
Do you know the novelty hole-in-one attraction they've got going?
I do.
I do.
We've got 1,000 golf balls.
We're trying to land the hole-in-one,
and all the listeners have got a ball dedicated to them.
So we'll get you to launch it.
I don't know if you knew about this,
but we're going to get you to cut the ribbon on this bad boy.
Excellent.
I had no idea, but I reckon we can make this work.
Yeah, so what would you say?
You're starting it off for New Zealand.
Every listener, a thousand listeners have got a ball allocated to them.
Over to you.
What do you say?
Well, first of all, wishing both of you the best of luck.
I hope you don't get any repetitive injuries.
Thank you.
And to every listener, good luck. I hope you don't get any repetitive injuries. And to every listener, good luck now officially launching
the Hold On One Challenge.
Oh, okay. Should we do it?
Should we do the first shot?
Jono, you can go up for the first shot.
Okay, here we go.
This could be a Hold On One first shot.
Hold on, Ben.
Oh!
Not bad, Not bad.
Not bad.
No.
No.
We didn't get it.
Sorry.
Did you hit the pontoon?
No.
No.
It basically just dribbled down the hill into the water.
Yeah, I was saying not bad, talking it up, but it really was quite bad.
Yeah, okay.
Imagine if that went in, though.
That would have been a great moment.
That would have been a great moment.
Jacinda on there.
We could have gone home afterwards,
but no, we're going to be here until tomorrow,
but that's fine.
Thank you so much for joining us, Prime Minister.
We'll continue on the next batch of balls.
Will we get a hole-in-one?
Will we $10,000?
I think that's a sentence.
Up next.
It all sounded very smooth.
If you want a ball 4487
We could win you $10,000
If we allocate you one
Hitting more balls next
More painful than your alarm clock
It's Jono and Ben on the hits
We're here in Lake Taupo this morning
Trying to get a hole in one
We've got 1,000 chances
Each ball is allocated to a listener
If we get your ball in
You'll get the 10 grand
And I tell you what The people have come out And the atmosphere is electric is allocated to a listener. If we get your ball in, you'll get the 10 grand.
And I tell you what,
the people have come out and the atmosphere is electric.
Electric.
Electric.
You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.
Is that what you do with atmosphere?
Yeah, you cut some atmosphere.
Yeah, sure you can.
You can take a knife to atmosphere.
Is that what?
So we've had three shots each so far.
You can catch up on the live stream
that's on our Facebook page, The Hits Breakfast.
That's right. Each ball dedicated to a
listener. If we get your ball in, $10,000
hole-in-one. I'm not going to lie,
I think we're doing
shockingly. I hit the
pontoon once, but then I've had another couple
of crappy shots. Yeah, so
hey, there's still many more balls to come, my friend.
Don't you worry about that. I'm feeling a little bit sore
and I've only hit three balls. More chances at
redemption. We're going to go live now to Katrina.
Welcome. You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Katrina.
Good morning, gentlemen.
How are we? We're doing well.
Owner of ball number seven. You can
choose who you would like to hit it.
Oh, wow.
You're like, what are your names again
And you've always said you're not doing very well
So yeah well my odds aren't very good are they
Okay I'll go
I'll go Ben I'll nominate Ben Boyce
Very skinny by frame
And by nature
And also by sponsorship too there's wonderful integration
Of our partners Skinny
They'll like that send that off to Skinny
They'll like that okay here you off to Skinny. They'll like that.
Okay, here you go, Katrina.
Your ball, 100 metres away.
Over the lake, toe boys.
Hit it.
It's going towards the pontoon, Katrina.
It's hit the pontoon.
It's not in the hole.
But I tell you what, it was close, Katrina.
Thank you very much for listening, mate.
You go and have a wonderful weekend, eh?
Tony's on the air. Tony, how are you?
Good, good
Alright, who do you want to hit the ball?
Ben or myself?
Definitely Ben
Your eye, hand, leg coordination doesn't look good
Any coordination
I don't even know what coordination means my friend
So Ben, you're nominated again
Ben Boyce hit the pontoon twice this morning.
Okay, your ball number eight, Tony. This could be
a $10,000 moment for you right
now. I know. It's a lot of
pressure. Okay, Tony's
going towards the pontoon. It's off
to the left a bit, probably 20 metres away.
I'm sorry, Tony.
He got the lake anyway. He got the lake.
You got the lake. I got the lake. That was good.
And we'll go to Johnny as well on 0800.
The hit's Johnny, owner of ball number nine.
Johnny.
Hey.
Who do you want, Ben or myself, to hit this ball for you?
Oh, you can hit it, eh?
Oh, thank you.
This is a pity one.
What club are you using?
Oh, you nominate a club.
What club would you like us to use for your ball?
Five Iron.
Five Iron.
Okay.
Here goes a Five Iron.
Okay, Johnny stepping up ball? Five iron. Five iron. Okay, here goes a five iron. Okay, Jono stepping up with a five iron.
We've got quite a big crowd watching here on Lake Taupo this morning.
What have you got to say, Taupo?
Woo!
Yeah!
Electric atmosphere.
You get cut up with a knife.
All right, Jono Pryor.
He's 102 metres away from it.
Oh, he's really got on to this.
It's straight.
Has he gone too far?
Oh, but good accuracy.
Sorry, Tony, we didn't quite.
Tell Tony I blame the club choice.
He blames the club choice.
Well, you've still got another chance because, of course,
if we miss all 1,000 balls, Monday morning someone will get 10 grand.
So you still have a chance right now for that.
If you want a ball, 4487.
We have a few more to give away.
And wish us luck as we continue to hit golf balls here on The Hits this morning.
Not a morning person?
Sadly, neither of these two.
It's Jono and Ben on The Hits.
Jono, we thought we were the star attractions here today.
You know, we thought people would come down to see us.
We're all into town.
Oh, here come the low-level celebrities coming in to do something quirky. It's all going to be about, but it's not about us. We've shown up already. We're only doing town, oh here come the lower level celebrities coming in to do something quirky.
It's all going to be about, but it's not about us.
We've been showing up already, we're only been doing it 20 minutes.
Yeah, now we've got little Alex here who is 7 years old.
We're from Christchurch?
Yeah.
40 minutes out of Christchurch he said before, just to correct me specifically.
And Alex, you've been playing golf since how old?
Two.
Since he was two years old.
Now, Alex, you're here today. You look the part. You've got a Callaway Golf hat on and
you've got your own club and you are, you're gnarling it. You're so good.
Because I've been playing competitions a lot.
He's been playing competitions. He's adorable, this little kid. And so he's got a driver in his hand and we're going to get him to do a... It's a lot. He's been playing competitions. He's adorable, this little kid.
And so he's got a driver in his hand.
And we're going to get him to do a...
It's a forward.
Sorry.
It's 40 minutes out of Christchurch and it's a forward.
Hey, listen, buddy.
When you're on the radio with low-level celebrities,
don't correct them.
Alex, can you have a shot right now?
Even on our live stream as well,
and we'll get this for our social channels.
This obviously doesn't count towards our 1,000,
but we just want to show
Alex what he can do.
Now, is it good? Do you want me to talk to you while you're doing this
or do you prefer to concentrate?
I prefer to concentrate.
So shut up, basically.
So here he is with his driver.
He's got his driver.
It's a forward.
It's a forward.
Here he goes now.
Hits it straight. My God. He's got his driver. It's a forward. Sorry, forward. Here he goes now. Oh!
Hits it straight.
Straight and...
My God.
Alex, do you mind if I adopt you
and then make a lot of money off you when you're old?
Yes.
Just mind, okay.
I've got a lot of money to be made out of.
It was worth it.
It was a good question to ask.
There's a lot of money to be made out of this kid.
Yeah.
I think I might take him.
I think your own kids would feel about that.
I'll add him to the mix.
I'm going to take him home.
Well, very impressive, Alex.
You've got a bright future ahead of us, unlike us.
Okay, don't go anywhere because I'll take you home, mate.
That's weird.
Like starting your day without your morning coffee.
It's Jono and Ben on my heads.
Now we're here at Lake Taupo.
We're trying to hit the hole-in-one,
trying to get a hole-in-one to win someone $10,000.
Jono, we've been golfing for about 40 minutes now.
How are you feeling?
20 minutes down, 20 balls down, sorry,
and I'm feeling very professional.
I'm starting to get picky about the clubs we're using.
Before, he was like, oh, no, the eight.
The eight's no good.
And I was like, okay.
Who are you?
Thanks, Tiger Woods.
Yeah, but we're having a lot of fun.
If you want to ball 4487 on the text, and we may allocate one to you.
But as we said earlier, this is not the first time we've done a novelty thing here on Lake Taupo.
No, we sailed a children's bouncy castle across Lake Taupo a few years back. And after that historic occasion, we were kindly gifted the keys to Taupo by the mayor.
And since then, Ben, we lost the keys.
You realise we lost the keys?
We lost the keys.
It happens.
We can't get into any houses.
We were given a big novelty key, a wooden key, the key to Taupo.
And so we thought right now...
When we had the keys, we were just wandering into everyone's houses
helping ourselves.
We're like Goldilocks.
We thought right now
we might call
our local locksmith
to see if we can get
a new key cut
for the town.
Locksmiths, good morning.
Good morning.
You guys cut keys
I understand?
We do cut keys, yes.
Oh great, I want to get a key cut for every house and business in Taupo.
You do?
Yeah.
Is that doable?
It's doable, but it depends on whether I'm holding an account for the National Piss-Taking Authority.
But look, to be honest with you, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station.
Jono and Ben! Fantastic.
How are you?
Very good, mate.
A few years ago, we came down to Taupo and Ben. Hey. Fantastic. How are you? Very good, mate.
A few years ago, we came down to Taupo and we sailed a bouncy castle across the lake
and the mayor gave us the key to the city.
It was a big wooden key
and we've lost the key to the city.
We're locked out of the city.
We're locked out.
We took it off the mayor.
What are you on about?
So now we're like,
oh, geez, maybe we can get another key cut.
Hey, why not?
We'll give it a go.
So if someone can get a hold of the mayor
and tell him that this has happened.
Yeah, it's a big wooden key.
I don't know if it actually fits in any locks,
but we'd like to get one replaced.
You'd like to get one replaced?
Yeah.
Not a problem.
I'll find him down at the pub street on Friday
and give you a yell.
We're down here for the next two days
trying to land the hole in one.
Oh, are you?
Yeah.
Have you ever got that one before?
No, no, no. There seems to be an issue between the size of the trying to land the hole in one. Oh, are you? Yeah. Have you ever got that one before?
No, no, no.
There seems to be an issue between the size of the holes and the ball, I think.
Oh, you remember this.
Well, it is for us today, that's for sure.
The issue for us is the size of the lake and the aim of our swing.
Oh, yeah, no worries.
Hey, make sure you drop into the shop, boys.
We'd love to get a photo with you.
Oh, that sounds good.
We will do.
Nice talking to you.
Right next door to Herbert Holden. All right. All right, mate. We'd love to get a photo with you. Oh, that sounds good. We will do. Nice talking to you. Right next door to Herbert Holden.
All right.
All right, mate.
No worries.
Cheers.
Bye.
Now, I'm going to make this claim right now.
The mayor of Lake Taupo has three minutes to get down here.
What?
I want a conversation with him.
We're the ones who lost the keys.
I want a conversation.
Get him down here.
I don't know who gets him down here.
Someone get him down here. Someone tell him we need him down here now. Stat. Right. I don't know who gets him down here. Someone get him down here.
Someone tell him we need him down here now.
Stat.
I don't care what he's doing.
If he's opening a kindergarten, tell those children to wait because we've got a key issue we need to deal with.
We need a replacement set of keys.
So I guess we'll find out if we've got it.
I don't know why it's the mayor's fault.
No, he gave us the key.
We lost it.
Start your day the wrong way.
It's Jono and Ben on the hits.
We're in the middle of our efforts to try and get a hole-in-one here on Lake Taupo,
hitting golf balls towards the pontoon, the famous attraction here.
If we get your ball in, you will win the $10,000.
Now, we just did mention that many years ago we gifted the keys to Taupo,
and, well, we lost the keys.
You know, you lose keys.
Yeah, that's what happens.
You lose keys.
Even a large novelty wooden key, you lose keys. Yeah, that's what happens. You lose keys. Even a large novelty wooden key, you lose it.
Yeah, you lose it.
And I callously made the demand three minutes ago that the mayor get down here right now and sort this mess out.
And thankfully, there's no traffic in Taupo.
And the mayor has literally turned up.
Mayor David, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey.
He's coming.
Oh, you've got your mayoral chains on.
How's things?
Yeah, no, very well. Thank you. Welcome, boys. Nice to? welcome boys, nice to have you back
lovely to have you back
the chains, are these quite heavy these chains?
very very heavy actually
we got these in 1932
original chains made
and we've had them valued on Trade Me
come up quite well
so when we're going for an asset sell down program
that's included in the process
so at some stage but we're going for an asset sell-down program. That's included in the process.
So at some stage, but we're not quite in the crap yet.
But look at Air New Zealand coming in.
Fantastic site.
How is tourism for Taupo on a season?
It's actually quite cool because pre-COVID was 70% domestic tourism anyway.
So now it's, of course, 100% domestic.
And you were just loving all the Kiwis coming to...
Well, it seems like the school holidays are here.
There's heaps of people.
It's exciting, and, you know, it just bodes well for the festive season coming up.
You know, we're going to be chock-a-block, aren't we, because we're drivable.
You know, 2.5 million people can drive here within three hours,
so, hey, what better place to be?
Good stats. Also, the lake, the size three hours. So, hey, what better place to be? Good stats.
Also, the lake, size of Singapore.
Yeah, size of Singapore.
It used to be the fourth cleanest lake.
Now it's the third cleanest lake.
Oh, you've gone up one.
Yes, we've gone up one just in the last recording.
Who are the other two lakes?
Because I'll go and deposit some rubbish in those lakes
so you can get number one.
The other two are in Iceland,
and they haven't been visited for 172 years.
So I think...
I'll go chuck some McDonald's wrappers in there or something.
Exactly, absolutely.
Now, me and David, you heard our plight.
We lost the keys to Taupo
and we just needed...
I don't know if you've got a replacement set?
Well, we just...
I had a spare set in the cupboard.
So I just looked at the cupboard.
So here we go.
We've got a new key.
We've got a new key.
So on behalf of the people of the Taupo district we go. We've got a new key. We've got a new key. So on behalf of the people of the Taupo District,
I'd like to present a new key.
And we've got it actually labelled with the name on it.
It's engraved with Taupo.
Yes, this time around.
So we don't mix it up with our Whakatane's keys.
Yeah, exactly.
So if you can keep a hold of this,
this has got quite an intrinsic value
that we're happy to hand over here.
But please, if you don't mind maintaining that,
that will get you into most of the houses and commercial operations around town.
I'm kindly donated by Taupo Key and Locke Smith,
so I understand you talked to yesterday.
Oh, we did, actually.
They send their regards.
Oh, that's very cool.
Thank you, Mayor David.
Thank you very much.
We've got the key to the city.
I'll keep it in a shoe just outside the front doorstep.
Yeah, yeah.
And we are going to be walking into a lot of houses this evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, thank you, Mayor David, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, time for us to hit some more golf balls.
If you want one, 4487.
We have a couple more to allocate over the next two days
as we're hitting golf balls to try and win $10,000.
Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys
anytime. Just search Jono and
Ben on Facebook. We are hitting 1,000
golf balls across today and probably
tomorrow, trying to get
$10,000 if we get a hole-in-one,
giving that away to a listener
if we do, and if we don't get it today
or tomorrow, on Monday, we're still giving away
$10,000, so that's very exciting.
What a fun morning.
I really had a lot of fun this morning doing the show, Ben Boyce.
How about yourself?
Yeah, it's been real cool.
It's really great to see some people down here.
It's a beautiful day in Taupo.
Yeah, lovely.
So come on down if you're in the area.
Come see us.
You know where we'll be.
We'll be here.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm going to meet some of the legends of Taupo.
What's your name, legend?
Juliet, your producer.
Great to meet you.
First time John has actually ever looked at Juliet.
I've never seen her in the flesh.
I refuse to look her in the eyes.
And she's not allowed to look at me in the eyes.
She's too big a celebrity.
Okay, well, those are the legends of Topol.
Is that it?
There's like 30, 40 people down there.
What's your name, legend?
This is Nick.
What do you do, Nick?
Just not much.
You put on those are the legends of toe balls.
A segment that won't be back again, but that was a lot of fun.
If you've got any advice for us, we'd love to hear from you.
We still have a few more balls to allocate.
So 4487 if you want a ball, we may allocate one for you.
We're live streaming it all too.
That's right.
Head to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook.
You can see how badly our golf swings
are going. Every now and again, alright, you hit
the pontoon before. That was exciting, Jono.
Yeah, I know, but it's not a whole of mine, is it, Ben?
It's not as exciting as a $10,000 whole of mine. No.
So will we get a, I don't know,
but as you say, if you want a ball,
4487 on the text, and we
may allocate one for you. We'll text you back with your
ball number, and that means you're in to win $10,000.
Yeah, and if you're nearby or passing through, we'd love to see you. We'll text you back with your ball number, and that means you're in to win $10,000. Yeah, and if you're nearby or passing through,
we'd love to see you.
We'll be here tomorrow as well.
So come on down, bring the kids, bring the dog,
bring the car, even pull the grandmother
out of the retirement village, wrap that old duck up,
come down and have a hell of a time
with your old mates, Jono and Ben.
We'll be here.
We'll catch you on the live stream.
Want more Jono and Ben?
You can wake up with the boys' week'll catch you on the live stream.