Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 13 - Helen Clark, Your Luggage Mishaps, The Weed Referendum

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Happy Tuesday! Today we were joined by former PM Helen Clark and she RATED politicians, past and present and she was ruthless! Ben also experienced boomers playing board games, and it's almost funnier than boomers on technology. We chatted about the cannabis referendum and played some audio from when we caught up with Chloe Swarbrick (yes advocate from The Greens) and Aaron Ironside (no advocate from Say Nope To Dope). Finally, when Ben was visiting TVNZ he found some doors that made him happier than Jono makes him by being his co-host. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast today. Lovely to see you, Ben Boyce.

Nice to see you too. Tony's got your kids out there in the office at the moment. They're helping us out with a little video that we're doing, yeah. Yeah, kids love coming I used to go to my dad's he used to work at after the Air Force he worked at

Manukau City Council and I remember vividly going into the office just loving it what did you get was he getting cool perks for the City Council like free wheelie bins

or anything like that no I remember getting it was back in the day where you had printer paper but you could peel off the sides I remember getting an excessive amount of that. And it was all joined together with the perforated sides.

And I also vividly remember walking into the room that controlled all of the traffic lights for the region. Oh really? And seeing them and you could see which way and I was to tell you what, it was a great day for me. Because my dad was a principal and so we lived at the school, which was cool. But then he did the occasional weekend shift on the radio station, Radio Wairarapa, back in the day. And that was cool to go and see radio. And there was a box of tape, because singles,

it was like, help yourself to any single you want. Ace of bass, all that she wants on Kissingles. I don't know the song, but I'll take it. Yeah, so that was fun. That was a perk. Kissingles were great, weren't they, back back in the day and then you used to get the B side of it. Oh listen to us two old men. Producer Juliet you're in here

is this embarrassing you? To be honest I wasn't even really listening, I kind of zoned out so clearly. That's the problem with you millennials we've got your attention for 15 seconds if not you lose them. And it's too boring I just won't listen. Alright well enjoy the podcast, it's not as boring hopefully as that chat there. We've got the

Honourable Helen Clark, the Right Honourable Helen Clark. You kept calling her the Right Honourable then you were like is she still Right and Honourable? She's Left Leaning as well so she's the Left Honourable you know. Did I offend her by calling her the Right Honourable Helen Clark? She was a really interesting chat. She was actually it was great. And we got her to rank New Zealand

politicians past and present. Do you remember that or did you zone out for Helen Clark as well, too? I think I zoned out for Helen Clark as well. Okay. Well, if you're not... You know you produced the show. Yeah. You sit here pushing butters, and she zoned out for 98% of it.

Oh, enjoy the podcast. Try and stick with it to the end if you can, if you're not a millennial like Julia. But if not, thanks for joining us. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. On the show, we have a lot of fun with boomers. I mean, our parents are boomers.

Some of my best friends are boomers. Who? Name one. Okay, well, people I know. We're like, yeah, okay. None of your friends. Uncles. I couldn't think of anyone who's a boomer

that you're friends with, so it just felt like an odd statement for you to say. Well, I was just sort of front-footing this. Some of your bloodline. Some of your favourite bloodline. Exactly. We've had some fun with your mum and dad when they got the new phone, right? Oh, yeah, they got the new iPhone.

Yeah, we phoned up as Siri. We were doing that typed talk thing on the computer, yeah? Hello? Hello, Annie Catherine Pryor and or John Walter john walter prior how are you doing today we don't talk to stupid computers shut up hello hello annie katherine prior how are you doing today if you want to know how we're doing put on a human voice Siri. We don't want you to ring us again. Goodbye. Do not ring us again. Do not call. Do not call.

How is the bald idiot of a son of yours? John boy. Hello. John boy. It's the bald idiot of your son. Annie Pryor hates that call. She hates that it became a thing. She was cackling.

At the time, she sounded like a witch cackling in the background. Your mum and dad, that was very funny. But in the weekend on Sunday night, we had some family over, and we were playing board games. Oh, yeah, they do like a board game, don't they? Yeah. Backgammon. Yeah. Solitairegammon. Yeah.

Solitaire. Solitaire, John Pryor, he's playing Solitaire all day long. This was a new board game and my auntie and uncle were over there. Have you played Cranium? Well, the new one for them. It's been around for a while. It's called Cranium and it's got different categories that are meant to represent different parts of your brain.

And so each category, there's like a, the blue is like creative cat. So you might have to sketch something for people to guess. You play in teams or you might have to sculpt something in Play-Doh for people to guess. Or they had like word worm, which is like you unscramble words or you spell words backwards. It's quite a fun game. But my auntie got up and she was playing in the category called star performer, which is kind of like charades. And so you go up there and you read the card and you go down and you have to act out or you have to hum the person who it is. And then other teams have to guess who it is.

It's like charades sort of thing. Yeah, exactly. And she was standing up there for the star performer category and she was standing up there and she just sort of stood up with her arms both in the air like she was doing the Y from YMCA. Didn't say anything, no singing. Normally people would hum or sing along.

We're like, okay. But that was the only act. This is weird. And we're like, a bit more, a bit more. She's like, no, arms in the air, nothing. Nothing else. I was like, okay. But that was the only act. This is weird. And we're like, a bit more, a bit more. She's like, no, arms in the air, nothing. Nothing else. I was like, okay. Gold post, tree.

I want it to play now. Of course it's a star performer. That's just that. We're like, surely this person sings. Because all the other ones have been like Britney Spears or Madonna or Michael Jackson. You're like, give us a song. Give us the dance that they do. No, just stood there.

So they were their arms up. And the three minute timer was just ticking away with her like that. Got to the end of it, and she's like, oh, you didn't get it. We're like, what was it? She's like, star performer. I was like, well, no, that was the category. That was the category. She didn't read below there.

She was being a star as a performer with her arms in the air. But even in that instance, she could have gone twinkle, twinkle. I mean, there was another option, pointing up to the sky. Three minutes, just stood there like that. And we looked down, and I was gone twinkle, twinkle. I mean, there are other options. Pointing up to the sky. Three minutes, just stood there like that. And we looked down and I was like, oh, no, it was Elvis. You were meant to be Elvis. In the category of star performer, you're meant to be Elvis. You're going to be doing General House Rock.

Swinging your hips around. Like that. Collapsing on a toilet, whatever. So that's my new favourite thing. Boomers and board games. It was a great moment. What is your favourite board game? Oh, I don't know. You do love a board game. Cluedo at the moment. What is your favourite board game? Oh, I don't know.

You do love a board game. Cluedo at the moment. We've been playing quite a lot of Cluedo at home. It's quite fun. What about yourself? Oh, I don't know. I don't play board games. Oh, no, my son's teaching...

I'm going to need your patience for this. I've got no patience in life. But my son's teaching me chess. He's very good at chess. And have you ever been smoked by a 10-year-old at chess? No. Multiple times. I've never beaten him once.

It's humbling. Wow. It's humbling. Wow. It's humbling. Genetically, I should be able to beat him. That's the good thing about being old. You're meant to be able to be better than kids. Yeah, but you're you, you know. Yeah, true.

This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahet. The election is this Saturday, and we've managed to track down the Right Honourable Helen Clark, former Prime Minister of New Zealand. This is very exciting. Good morning, Helen.

Good morning. What an honour. What an honour. Do you realise what show you're on, Helen? Well, it sounds like the fun show. It's really nice to talk to you. How have you been? Very good, thanks.

Do you get excited about the elections? You haven't gone through many yourself? Well, I mean, you can't avoid them, can you? No. They're all over the media, and it's an important chance that people have to say every three years. But, I mean, apart from putting out leaflets, I haven't been greatly, greatly involved,

except to chirp supportively from time to time on social media. And have you voted yet, Helen Clark? Oh, yes. I voted the first day it was open. And controversially went national, I understand. Quite a shock. Well, no, no, I wouldn't break the habits of a lifetime. They have never had my vote. Now, you spent many years at the UN, obviously.

In fact, last time, Ben and myself, we were in New York. When I say last time, literally the only time we were in New York. We messaged you, we were outside the UN, and we were like, Helen Clarke. Here comes the Aunty Helen, yeah. And you replied, lol. Lol. We've got to reply.

Yeah, well, I was eight years there, and they were great years, but who would want to be in New York right now? Oh, that's really sad. It must be sad, particularly for yourself, having lived there for so long, to see what was happening over there with COVID. Hey, well, if you take away Broadway and the museums and galleries and all the little shops and the cafes and the restaurants,

what do you have? A rather dull, grid city. I mean, it must be ghastly. Do you know I watched your documentary, Helen Clark, My Year with Helen? Yep. And you would come home and freeze meals for your dad, which I thought was adorable. Yes, well, I kept that going all the time I was away. The last three years as well, and Dad's still going. 98 years and seven months.

Oh, wow. Are you still freezing meals for him, Helen Clark? Well, I spend at least half the week with him, and I do a lot of cooking. Oh, that's lovely. Now, of course, there's a few elections going on. What do you think is going to happen in the New Zealand election? What's your prediction?

I think it's without doubt that Jacinda Ardern will be the next Prime Minister of New Zealand. No one's doubt. What if Judith Collins was here right now? She might be doubting. I think the way the campaign's gone leaves it not in doubt. I think the bigger interest will be on the two referendums. Yes, which you're quite passionate about, one of them,

or you seem to be... Yeah, well, I mean, I've come out for yes on both of them. On the End of Life Choice Act, if I were in the position that's described in that act of who could ask for assisted dying, I would want the choice. I don't know whether I'd take it, but I would want the choice, so I'm quite clear on that.

On the cannabis one, one of the things I've been doing since leaving the UN is I became involved with the Global Commission on Drug Policy, which is made up of a lot of former prime ministers and presidents. And we are a group that say prohibition is by far the greater harm. If you prohibit, you blight people's lives with criminal convictions. You know, cannabis is a less dangerous drug to individual and society than either tobacco or alcohol, which are both legal. Without question, there's a small proportion of users

who will have problematic use, but not as high as with alcohol and not as high as with tobacco. So let's just deal with reality and not keep trying to pretend that we can somehow eradicate it. It's been in New Zealand for decades. Yep, no, it has. It's not going away. I really am torn on this.

I find there are equal arguments for and against and I read... Even just listening to Helen there, I'm like, oh, she has a good point. Oh, you've swayed me again. Quite good at this debating thing. Maybe it's a career in politics for you, Alan Clark. It could be.

I don't know if you've thought about it. Now, Alan Clark, we wanted to just rattle off some current and former politicians' names. You just give them a quick ranking out of 10. Or whatever you want to say about them. Oh, well, I'll try to be kind. Muldoon. Yeah. Muldoon.

Oh, God. Well, look, being interested in other people's views and tolerance, we're going to give him zero. Muldoon lands a zero. Okay. Jenny Shipley. No, look, I know Jenny quite well. We have very different political views.

She did what she believed in, so I'm going to give Jenny a seven. Oh, seven, that's not a bad ranking. Let's have a look at Winston Peters. Well, so you weight them all on different factors, but Winston for just hanging in there, plugging away. He's done so well in that regard, isn't he? He's the father of a house. He hasn't got it all right.

But you'd have to say it's an incredible run of public service. So I'm going to give him a seven as well. I'm going to be generous. Okay. John Key. Well, you know, John, let's say, detoxified the National Party after brash. And, you know, John is a good-natured guy

and kind of wanted to help New Zealand and the country. I'm going to give him a seven as well. Okay, right. All right, let's go to the current Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. Well, Jacinda's a star, I think. Done incredibly well with very, very difficult balls. So I'm going to give her a 10. Okay, 10.

And lastly, this interview out of 10, how do you rate this? 10. Oh, yeah. Okay. Helen Glashy knows how to play our fragile egos. It's been really lovely catching up with you. Catching up like we do it regularly, I say that. We don't.

But lovely talking to you and thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. Good on you. Bye now. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's you, and thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. Good on you. Bye now. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Every day it seems like there's a new survey

or something to do with coronavirus, and it gets inside my head. I try not to read these things. You're a germy guy. What I want to do... I try not to let it, you know, because it can over... You can rule your life.

Yeah, exactly. I want to just put you inside a zorb and just push you around the place, you know, like a big bubble. Like an your life. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I want to just put you inside a zorb and just push you around the place, you know, like a big bubble. Like an actual bubble. Yeah, a big bubble. And I can just roll you along the street. That'd be nice.

You know, any appointments we've got, I'll just push you in there and you'll be safe. You'll be locked up. Well, thank you, yeah. Because people talk about you around the office, behind your back. Now I'm talking in front of your back. Oh, really?

What do they say? Well, it's good. The way you open doors is a little unorthodox. Oh, yeah, they've noticed this, have they? Yeah, no, how could you not? Because what he does is he approaches the door and then he sees the handle coming. If I'm with him, I'm like, listen, I'll take the hit.

I'll just open the bloody door. The amount of hours this man has just spent just standing at doors waiting for people to open them. But when he's got no other choice, he'll put his hand in his T-shirt or a jersey and sort of like a puppeteer, his hand in there, and he uses that to open the door handle. And it looks unusual.

It does. And I do notice people looking, especially when they're coming out through the door, they're like, is this a back hold up or something? What's he got underneath? Stick him up. Concealed underneath his jacket or his T-shirt. But yeah, I just read this morning that the virus, COVID-19,

research is saying it can live up to 28 days on surfaces such as banknotes, phone screens and stainless steel door handles. You should not read this information. The greatest day of his life was yesterday. Yes. We went to TVNZ and the state broadcaster has these futuristic doors. I didn't

see them myself, but he came back like a kid from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. A little confused, but ultimately satisfied. Normal doors, but they've got a little sort of metal attachment added to the bottom of the door. And it's like, don't use your hands, use your foot.

So you just put your foot on the door and you pull it back. It's like a pedal. Yeah, like a pedal. Like a foot pedal. Like a foot pedal. And you just pull it back. And you're like, oh my God. He was so happy.

I told everyone, everyone was looking at me like. Okay, yeah, it's just a door. But you don't have to. Yeah, so for me, that was a big deal. You were so happy. You couldn't wipe the smile off his face with a dead old wipe. For love nor money, I tell you. But it's a funny time, isn't it, though?

And there's been some great marketing for germs over the last three months, hasn't there? So it's probably made us all hyper aware of them. But I find now we're in a, with the greeting situation, you've either got the, you know, the elbowers who are still sticking with it, the handshakers. Oh, some people are straight back into the handshakes again, aren't they? I got embraced in a hug. And I was like, this feels dirty.

It's a confusing time greeting people at the moment because you never know where everyone is at. Yeah. I know you're an elbower. Well, yeah, that's probably my guy. But then someone puts out a handshake, it feels weird to elbow their hand. And then so they end up shaking your elbow with their hand. So it is a confusing time.

And I always struggled before this with the whole, you know, the cool guys would do this sort of the bro shake. Well, now there's a whole other element of, oh, jeez. White guys did not need this. I'll tell you that. And what we have discovered over the last three months is how filthy we all are. That's right. Filthy shells of gun.

Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's right. Filthy shells of gunk. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It is the hits. Jono and Ben, eight minutes past seven, or maybe it's 4.20. No, no, it's definitely eight minutes past seven. Oh, okay, that was a weed reference. That was a good try. It's happening

this weekend as part of the general election. You might have forgotten, too, if you do smoke weed, that there is a referendum. A referendum. Might have slipped past you. But what we thought we might do is just give you the opportunity to hear both sides of the argument. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do

and I keep swaying. Every time I hear from someone I'm like, oh, that's a good point. And then you hear something else. And I think it's to do with what stage of life. You were saying it before. What stage of life you're at. I have two your two young daughters I'm like what sort of world do I want them to grow up you start thinking about those things a bit more once you have kids but no one's right no one's wrong you just got to vote for what you feel is best for either yourself or society is it I'm not here to judge cast just force my popular opinion on but my popular opinion so arrogant

I said it's the popular opinion I'm not gonna judge even though I've got the your popular opinion? So arrogant I said it's the popular opinion. I'm not going to judge you even though I've got the most popular opinion. And you won't say what it is. No, I actually don't have an opinion. I'm the same as you. We were talking about this on the way to Topol in the car. We're both like, there's equal, whenever you hear either side make a point or an argument, you're like, yeah, I agree with you.

And then the other ones, you're like, no, no, I've changed my mind. So I keep swaying. But yeah, we spoke to Chloe Swarbrick, who's a big campaigner for the Green Party, to legalise it. She's been in the Green and Green Party. We asked her why she's voting yes. Chloe Swarbrick, you're voting yes? I am.

Why? I'm voting yes because I believe that, first and foremost, what we've been doing for the past 40 plus years simply hasn't worked. New Zealand has one of the highest usages of cannabis in the developed world. 11% of New Zealanders are using on nearly a weekly basis. That's half a million Kiwis currently going to the black market. We have the maximisation of harm. Drug dealers don't check ID. Effectively

it's about recognising this problem exists and it's time to be adults about it. Why don't we set some regulations around it, some education and put that tax into things like education, harm reduction, mental health and addiction. The fact that right now you've just got no idea what people are using, the potency of it, what it's potentially laced with, but also they're rubbing shoulders with an underground black market that might upsell them to harsher substances. And one of the most damaging conversations that goes on is someone going to a tinny house and going, oh, you know, have you got some cannabis? And the dealer going, oh, no, but have you tried some meth? Or do you want some synthetics? This stuff's not going to show

up in your drug tests at work. You do a lot of work for mental health. There's an argument that people say that, oh no, but have you tried some meth? Or do you want some synthetics? This stuff's not going to show up in your drug tests at work. You do a lot of work for mental health. There's an argument that people say that it could affect people's mental health. What do you say about that? What I'd say is that that's happening right now. And all of the problems that people invoke, that they've seen, particularly with cannabis, spurring harsher mental health

issues or otherwise, have occurred under the criminal status quo. Where you've got effectively chaos a free-for-all where unknown people in unknown places consuming unknown substances of unknown quality to unknown effect so the research shows us that of the people who use cannabis and 80% of New Zealanders will by the time they're 21 years old approximately only 5% of them will experience a negative result that being the likes of, for example, the mental ill health that you're speaking to. My

plea to New Zealanders is actually to recognise that this isn't at all a discussion about whether you support or like cannabis because cannabis exists regardless of whether you support or like it. It's a discussion about how we regulate cannabis. So there we go, there's Chloe Swarbrick

and what I found interesting too, you can buy 14 grams of cannabis per day. That's what? Yeah. That's a lot. You've got no time to do anything else in the day. 14 grams weighs as much as Ben Boyce. It's true, there's no truth to the rumour that all the buses in New Zealand are going to be renamed the cannabis's. Yeah, that's the referendum

for next election. That's right. And I will be voting yes. So we also spoke to someone who's voting no in the referendum. His name is Aaron Ironside and he's from the Say Nope to Dope. Aaron from Say Nope to Dope. Your thoughts? Well, this is a controversial topic

and we can certainly understand that people, particularly if they're thinking that this is about medicinal cannabis, they want to see that happen. But the thing is, medicinal is already legal and what we're talking about is recreational cannabis. And so what we've done at Say Nope

to Dope is look overseas to see what actually happens. And unfortunately, it isn't good news. Because you work in the mental health sector as a counsellor, what effects do you see? Well, as a mental health professional, what I see is the effects of addiction. Unfortunately, the most vulnerable people to cannabis are young people. If you start using cannabis before you're age 25, when your brain is still developing, you're the most likely to be affected. And the two big effects are psychosis and cannabis addiction.

There's an argument, though, from people saying, oh, young people might use it anyway. What do you say to that? Well, they are using it anyway. There's no doubt about that. The question is, does this law do anything to address that, to help them? And it doesn't, because it locks them out of the legal shops. But what it does do is mean that people will be growing cannabis in their backyard, making cannabis that little bit easier to get hold of,

as if it needed to be any easier. And the problem is when the shop won't let you buy from it, you're forced to go back to the tinny house, forced back to the black market. Unfortunately, what happens is that commercialisation wins the day. The new market ends up being about 30% of the market and they go into competition with the black market, who remains strong and the big player. And the result is the price goes down. So in Canada, for instance, the price of legal weed is $10 a gram,

but the black market weed is $5.90 and it's twice as strong. The question is philosophically. Philosophically does it make sense to sell cannabis to adults, to raise tax money to fund programs that teach teenagers not to do what the adults are doing? The other problem is in Colorado a group called the Centennial Institute found out that for every dollar of tax money you raise you have to cause $4.50 of social harm. So in reality, it's a broken model to help addicts by making addicts. Both sides of the argument, Aaron Ironside from Say Nope to Dope and Chloe Swarbrick. There we go.

If more than 50% of people vote no in the referendum, cannabis will stay illegal. However, medicinal cannabis will be still available of course and the police I think already are you know, they're exercising their right when charging people. Yeah, right but if more than 50% of people vote yes, cannabis won't be

illegal straight away, there'll be a process to work that out. So there you go, I think I'm probably just as confused, well not confused but just as undecided. Yeah, hopefully we hashed that out for you. Do be or not do be is the big question. What will you be voting for? What you can't you do?

In the referendum. It's this Saturday and it's the hits. Hard-hitting political events with Jono and Ben. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, last week we went to Taupo and we hit 1,000 golf balls towards the hole-in-one. And not one of those 1,000 went in that hole-in-one, but that doesn't matter because we had a wonderful time.

It was a great team-built bonding, wasn't it? Yeah. Do I feel like we're closer as a team now? Yeah, we went away and in the reception of the hotel, I noticed something unusual about your bag that you'd packed, Jono. It was vibrating and making a strange noise. And so, you know, being the radio guy that I am. Always looking for content.

Yeah, we recorded that. Life is prep, that's what they say. And here's what happened. Okay, Jono, your suitcase is vibrating. What's going on? Hey? Your suitcase is vibrating. Oh, no, no, no. Don't open that.

Don't open that. It'll just be the toothbrush. I hope it's the electric toothbrush. That's the electric toothbrush. Yeah, okay. Oh, that does sound very suspicious. Maybe you'd care to explain to the audience what you found so amusing about that, Ben.

Because I can't understand. It was draining the battery of your electric toothbrush. I was like, oh, I'm going to put a charger for that. He won't be able to clean his teeth. That was what I found amusing and I knew that. Well, I'll tell you what it was. It leaves me feeling very satisfied because there's nothing quite like the feeling

of a minty, fresh mouth after you've cleaned your teeth. Exactly. Clark and Tata free. But we wanted to know... It was a toothbrush. Can I just say it was a toothbrush? It was a toothbrush. Off that, we want to know luggage mishaps.

Have you had something that's gone wrong to do with your luggage? Have you had a buzzing suitcase? Because let's be honest, no one likes having a buzzing suitcase and having to explain why the suitcase is buzzing. Maybe you went to the airport, picked up the wrong luggage. Oh, it happened to a friend of mine. He got all the way home and the person whose bag he got rang him and my mate was so arrogantly like,

no, no, I haven't got your bag, mate. Without even looking. Yeah, I've got my bag, hung up and then went later and went, oh my God, I have got this other person's bag and had to sheepishly call them back up and go, yeah, sorry, I abruptly hung up on you about an hour ago. I've actually looked, I've got all of your stuff. But that must happen so often. I always think the luggage carousel is fair game for thieves.

It does seem like that, right? You just turn up and just grab anything. I won't plant that seed in anyone's head, but I've already done that. That's right. Anyway, so 800 the hits. Luggage mishaps. Maybe you're asked to transport a boogie board. A bag from Australia to Bali.

Maybe. I mean, if you're listening, you can text 4487. Didn't you walk away once without even getting your bag? I drove all the way home from the airport. I was so excited. I was at radio school when I came back. I was so excited to see my friends because they picked me up from the airport. I completely forgot. Like, I didn't even walk out of there and even give it a thought. Like, didn't I write something missing? No.

Straight in the car, all the way home. An hour trip to and peak hour traffic and I got home. Oh, my God. There is no more humbling moment than realising you have to drive back to the airport to get your bag. Luggage mishaps, love to hear from you this morning. 0800 the hits, 4487 on the text. We'll head to Tauranga

Lynn, you're on the air. New Zealand's Breakfast welcomes you with open arms. Thank you. Thank you. It was a weird introduction, wasn't it? What was your luggage, Miss Hep? We were travelling between New Zealand and the UK and stopped at LAX and my son's carry-on luggage got swapped and came up with explosives.

It came up with explosives? Yeah, the swap group, there was explosives in his bag he was only a little boy oh my goodness yeah and it was just after 9-11 so they were very oh yeah as you imagine so what was the case

he had a cap gun a roll of caps from a cap gun in his bag oh I thought are you are you travelling with a terrorist oh my god that's a scary situation. Because they do random swabs, don't they? Yeah, I always seem to get randomly picked for those swabs for some reason.

You're the kind of guy I'd randomly select at the airport. Yeah, it was very scary because everybody had guns and it was very scary. I bet that was terrifying. Yeah. Well, good on you, Lin. Well, thank you for providing a wonderful phone call for our radio programme this morning. We're going to figure out a $200 Fiji Five-0 prize pack so you can enjoy some of the great things from Fiji.

I thought we had a line two, is that right? It's either line two or Producer Humphrey's going, peace, man, peace. Line two and peace, both. We're getting both. Joanne, welcome. Peace to you. Peace to you, too.

Peace to everyone. Hey, Joanne, welcome. Peace to you. Peace to you too. Peace to everyone. Hey, Joanne, what happened? What was your luggage mishap? Well, a few years ago, I travelled down to Christchurch, then on to my son's wedding, bought them a beautiful cutlery, expensive cutlery set that I beautifully wrapped in everything.

Didn't even think anything of it. Put it in my hand luggage to my carry-on. Went to go through the check-in and they pulled the whole thing to bits, took all the knives out, put it all back together, threw it back in my bag and said, yep, you're all good now.

Oh, you're like, here's a set of spoons for your present. When we got to Christchurch, we were madly driving around trying to find something that matched and finally found something that was kind of similar at Briscoe's. So to this day, my poor son and his wife have got a mismatched cutlery set.

Oh, right. And there's someone at customs with an excessive amount of knives, cutlery knives. Thank you very much. We'll go to Shelley. We'll get you out a Fiji price pack as well. Good on you. Rotorua, we're heading to back from Aussie.

What happened, Shelley? So basically we were on this big family reunion trip and we arrived back. My lovely uncle decided he would get my bag for me. He saw my bag, get my bag. I was on a very short time frame to make a domestic flight, so I sprinted from international over to domestic, went to check in my bag to realise it was not mine.

Very similar colour, but it was not mine. Oh, no. So I quickly called my parents, who were still over at international, and said, what the heck can I do? My dad jumps in a taxi from international to domestic to come and pick me up. The man says, no, no, you can walk. We said, no, we need a taxi from international to domestic to come and pick me up. The man says, no, no, you can walk.

We said, no, we need a taxi. So we go all the way back to international, head up the authorities to see what we can do. They then inform me that, no, I cannot get my bag and take the other bag off me. I then go, they will fly it to me the next day once they track it down. I go all the way bag off me. I then go, they will fly it to me the next day once they track it down. I go all the way back to domestic,

look up to see that then they have delayed my flight for a whole hour. So I didn't have this big crazy panic in the end and I still didn't have my luggage. Oh my God. Gee, no better place to be stressed out, I find, than the airport. I love it.

It's such a calming environment, isn't it? Yeah. Good on you, I find, than the airport. I love it. It's such a calming environment, isn't it? Yeah. Good on you, Shelley. Love your work. Thank you very much. Could anyone else hear vibrating during that phone call? It's like someone's playing some bass.

Like, doo, doo. It's a cool bass guitar. Might be my toothbrush again, eh? Playing up again. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the edge. Yesterday in sport, LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers won the NBA. And Rihanna, after the game, was all over social media singing, partying it up with a mate and singing,

We are the champions. No time for losing, cos we are the champions. I love it. I do. It feels like her mate's taking a lot of the lead. Yeah. Yeah. You've got Rihanna there.

Let her sing. Yeah. I want to know if anyone can sing Queen, We Are The Champions worse than Rihanna. Yeah. So we'll try and do that next. Also, like when you hear, oh, Rihanna's sang your celebration song.

It's not what you imagined. No. In your head. You were saying before that's not her real name. No. Robin Fenty. Rihanna's her middle name I think. Robin Fenty's actually her birth name. Stage name, mate. Yeah, a lot of people change their name.

Normally you've changed it to a cooler sounding name, right? Yeah, you do. You know Kylie Jenner's are they still together? Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner? He's a rapper. Yeah. So he's a rapper.

Travis Scott is a rapper. Now you would assume that that would be his birth name. But his birth name was Jacques Webster. So he's chosen somehow managed to choose a more bland name. Travis Scott seems like a well-mannered accountant from the suburbs or something, doesn't it? Well, normally it's the other way around because I got into a bit of an internet hole of rappers' real names

and I thought I'd run you a few right now. Let's start with Vanilla Ice. Of course, Ice Ice Baby got his name from being vanilla. He was nicknamed Vanilla and also the breakdancing move was the ice. That's how he got his cool name. But his cool name. But his real name Robert Van Winkle. He could be a plumber.

He could be a neighbourhood plumber. Look at him. Van Winkle plumbing and drainage. I think he has a builder now, doesn't he?

He's like a property developer. Yeah, so maybe you're right. Robert Van Winkle property developer. Yeah, we met Vanilla.

We flew Vanilla Ice out here. Remember? He was a lovely guy. He was a really nice guy. The next day, I took him on a wonderful tour of all the sights and sounds of New Zealand.

Then you've got someone like Drake. I know. And Alain Blin. Sounds real cool. Right. He got his actual name Drake from, again, from his middle name,

but his proper name is Aubrey Graham. Aubrey Graham. Aubrey Graham. I think he works upstairs in HR here. I think so. At NZME. Aubrey Graham, I think he works upstairs in HR here. I think so. At NZME. Aubrey, a wonderful human being. Great employee as well.

Snoop Dogg. Got his name because apparently, quite an adorable reason he got his name because he used to like Snoopy cartoons. Charlie Brown cartoons. So there's not really a cool backstory, but the name Snoop Dogg sounds cool. He sounds like a well-mannered dentist.

His real name is Calvin Broadus Jr. And we'll do a couple more. Busta Rhymes, which I think is the best name in rap, sung this song. Very cool name for a rapper who busts out rhymes, but his real name is Trevor Smith Jr. So, again, just like a run-of-the-mill name. You're not going to buy tickets to Trevor Smith Jr.'s show, though.

That's the problem, isn't it? No. What would you be? You'd be your Benjamin Ross voice. So again, just like a run-of-the-mill name. You're not going to buy tickets to Trevor Smith Jr.'s show, though. That's the problem, isn't it? No. What would you be? You'd be your Benjamin Ross voice. BRB. You could be me. Be right back. I'll be right back.

Boney Ben. Boney Ben. Boney Ben. I'm Jonathan Richard. Notorious JRP. Oh, that's quite good. Yeah. And let's go one more.

Coolio, which I think has got one of the best rap names. His real name is Artis. Artis Ivy Jr. is his real name. So they're quite cool. And he got his name, Coolio, which you think would be, you know, for being cool, off a guy who was a very famous musician, Julio Iglesias. Oh, Julio Iglesias.

Oh, Annie Pryor, my mum. Julio could sing the trousers off her. And someone was like, what are you trying to be? Because Coolio had a guitar. And he was like, Coolio Iglesias? Oh, Julio Iglesias. Oh, Annie Pryor, my mum, Julio could sing the trousers off her. And someone was like, what are you trying to be? Because Julio had a guitar and he went, Julio Iglesias? And that's how

the nickname stuck. Oh, from a pun burn. From a pun burn he rolled with Julio. This is Enrique's father. That's right, yeah.

He was an amazing musician back in the day. Do you know Enrique Iglesias? Funny, fun fact, he is a campaigner because his downstairs region is not as endowed as he would like it to be. So he goes out there on public record and goes,

hey, it's like a mouse, like a mouse, and I'm proud. Which is great. Yeah, good on him. Unusual thing to hang your hat on, but good on him. Yeah, I don't know if he's hanging many hats on at the moment. That is rapper's real names. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz. All right, it's time for another celebrity update from Juliette. It's in time for Ben Boyce to check out for three minutes and clear his emails. All right, here we go, guys. There you go, Ben. You can get to those. I'm just trying to work out the next appointment. Sorry, Ben, All right, here we go, guys. There you go, Ben. You can get to those. I'm just trying to work out the next point. Sorry, Ben, I actually have to ask you a question.

And you too, Jono. Did you guys in lockdown have any, like, projects that you wanted to achieve? Or were you just like, nah, screw that. My main thing I wanted to achieve was not drinking before midday. Okay. And I failed on many times. Oh, yeah, I did a Lego Statue of Liberty. That was something I chipped away at.

You love an extended Lego project. What else did you build? Oh, the Millennium Falcon. That was took a long time. Wow, that's dedication. Well, Chris Pratt, his lockdown project was to be able to solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute. And he's done it and he's uploaded it to Instagram. Oh, he's done it?

Yeah, he did it. It's so intense. Like, I don't even know where you'd even start. But I was researching and the world record for a Rubik's Cube is 4.2 seconds. Wow. Yeah, they have, like, speed cubing events and things like that. It's crazy. We did it on the TV show.

Remember, we got locked in a cube, and we weren't allowed to get out until we'd solved a Rubik's Cube. And we just could not. It's so hard to work out when you don't know the skills behind it. And this lovely schoolgirl, remember? Yeah, we were allowed to help with three people. And she was amazing. So we had like this jumbled up Rubik's Cube. She went and got another Rubik's Cube

and jumbled her one up to match ours. And then slowly worked her way through the systematic thing. But to get it to that stage where it was unjumbled like ours, exactly. And then she went like, okay, turn this around like that, through this glass thing. It was like, this is the most incredible thing. I've got no party tricks. Have you got any party tricks? I'm falling asleep

when I take my shoes off in the corner or something. After doing breakfast for a while my party trick's like, just fall asleep after. The man that can fall asleep before 8pm. Yeah, that's my party trick. I can kind of look like a sicker version of Pitbull. That's all I got. You got party tricks, Juju? Oh, gosh, put me on the spot. I feel like I got. You got party tricks, Juju? Oh, gosh.

Put me on the spot. I feel like I do, but I can't think of it. It'd be like drinking out of a shoe or something, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah. A shoeie, a shoeie. Or a funnel, you know? Yeah. One of those disgusting student drinking things that people do.

Nothing like a Rubik's Cube, though. No. Jen, my wife, she's one of those people that needs to, once she starts something, has to nail it. So she learnt it in like a day. Really? Yeah. You've just got to dedicate time to it.

But no one can be bothered dedicating time to it. No, that's very true. Except for Chris Pratt and your wife. Exactly. And then a spy for more. You can go to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Just want to get talking about you went to the right place, but it was the wrong job. And I was away in Whangamata last week for the holidays, and we were there, and the guy, a truck driver came over, and he was like, oh, did you just see what I did? And I was like, oh, you just unloaded a mound of dirt on the property next door. He's like, yeah. And I've just realised it's meant to be three houses down across the road.

So it was the right job at the wrong place. The right job, wrong place. I was like, oh, you'd be wanting to pick that up. He's like, ah, no, someone will sort it out. He's like, I'm too old to be bothered. He's like, I'm too old to be doing this job and I'm making mistakes like that. He's like, I'll just leave it. Someone will sort it out.

It happened to a friend of my dad's a couple of weeks ago. They turned up home and the people had unloaded 6,000 bricks just in the corner. They're like, there you go, there's your bricks in the corner of the driveway. And they're like, thanks, but we didn't order any bricks next door. So they, right job, wrong place. You'd think, you know, if you'd been in the brick delivery game for such a long time

that you'd go, okay, I'll get out of the truck. I'll just double check. You never know. Unload all these, we'll put them there that you're having just 6,000 to the neighbours next door. So there we go. We want to know this morning, have you done the right job at the wrong place? Oh, 800, that's the phone number, 4487.

Your friend was doing community service, you know, types of people you mingle with. What was happening? Yeah, he did a wonderful job, right job, painted a fence. It just turned out to be the wrong place. So I spent all day painting a lovely fence for the neighbour of the house he was meant to be painting. The owners would have been stoked. They were actually

quite stoked. They were genuinely surprised. It was almost like one of those makeover shows. They're like, oh, I wasn't expecting this. And neither were the cops or anyone. No, I'm not. So 800, that's the number 4487. When did you do the right job just the wrong place? Let's go to Catherine.

You're on the air from Auckland. How are you, Cath? Good to have you on. What was the right job, wrong place, Catherine? I keep talking, just hoping she's going to pick it up. I'm not hearing, Catherine, but I like to hear it. Yeah, that's right. We can move on to Theo.

How's kitty-kitty this morning, Theo? It's all right? Good. I'll just keep talking until Theo picks it up. Is someone pranking us? Right job, wrong place. Oh, good stuff. All right.

We'll move on to Sarah. We don't want to give away any of these Fiji price packs. Is there any caller on the air? We haven't got anyone on the air so far. Maybe they had right show, wrong caller. Let's go to Sarah in Taranaki. I'm going to keep talking until Sarah picks it up like a professional listener.

Apparently the phone is not working. So B Hubs are saying move on guys. Well no I don't want to. I'm going to go to Nelson and talk to Juanita and Nelson. How are you Juanita? Good stuff. Send this

one off to the World Radio Awards for best caller segment featuring no callers. We carried on like there was. Actually, someone texted, 4487 I work for a roofing company and we put a roof on the wrong house.

On the entire wrong, well you get to the end of that and go, well done. You've got a roof now. We're not taking that off. That would be a nightmare. And that's all we've got. So we'll chalk this one up as a loss. You know, sometimes in this game you have wins and losses, don't you? Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits.

Of course, the show last week went to Taupo. We had 1,000 golf balls at the hole-in-one. Didn't quite get a hole-in-one, but we still gave away 10 grand on the Monday. And we learnt it's very hard to get Hole-in-Ones there and you can't mute Producer Juliet. That's right. That's what she said at dinner

when Boss Todd was trying to give an emotional speech. You can't mute me. You can't mute me. Tell you what, there was a tournament going on there, a football tournament, children's football tournament at the same time. Yeah, they were trying to take the limelight away from our sporting achievement, weren't they?

Yeah, well, we showed those kids how to not get a hold of one. We taught them real good. But we bumped into some kids at the restaurant that we were eating at. And, yeah, it's always nice for kids to meet their heroes, isn't it, Ben? It is, but on that occasion, they didn't. Yeah, unfortunately, the All Whites weren't in the restaurant.

Oh, it would have been the All Whites, you're right. We got talking to some kids who were there with their dads. The dads were looking after the kids at the football tournament for four days. It was a four-day tournament. So many kids are all around Taupo. There were. And the child comes up to me.

I was like, what are you having, mate? What are you having from the menu? He's like, chips, hot chips. He's like, this is the third night in a row that they've fed us hot chips they had just been on a three day chip bender

the dad's got beers they were sorted the dad's got beers I mean the chips such a versatile food for the dad at the pub isn't it get some bloody chips

mate yeah fill them up they had so many chips they were loving the kids were loving it yeah as a kid it was kind of the thing the parents

you parents would do, right? You'd go, yeah. They'd go, oh, you go to the pub, you're like, oh, yeah. We'll get you hot chips. You're like, oh, right. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah. Despite the gastrointestinal problems that they had from eating so many hot chips, everything else was fine. But it's such a versatile, it's such a great food. It's

reliable. It's speedy. It's deep fried. What more do you need? You can never, you've never eaten a bad hot chip, have you? Do you ever have a bad hot chip? No matter where you get a hot chip from. Even if they're a little bit soggy. They're soggy, douse them in tomato sauce. Kids love it.

Some of my favourite memories were with a bag of chips in the car in the car park of the pub while Dad was in there doing whatever he did. So many great memories with chips as a child in New Zealand. They pulled us through some tough times, those chips. When the chips are down, the chips are down. That's the new saying for New Zealand. That's right. Then I have to drive them home.

It was fun times, fun times. But Dad dinners, aren't they fantastic? Yeah. I bet they got home and then Mums were probably like, so what did you eat? Any vegetables, any fruits? Oh, eh? Yeah. I bet they got home and then mums were probably like, so what did you eat? Any vegetables, any fruits? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well-rounded diet. I hope those kids are still here.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Hey, tell you what, Harry Styles not in Producer Juliet's Good Books this morning. She had a dream she was canoodling and woke up and it turns out Harry Styles wasn't actually in her bed. It was so sad. And then I heard this song.

It was the first one. It just reminded me. I was like, oh, it's Harry. What a day. What a disappointing start to your Tuesday. You realise you're not actually with Harry Styles. I know. One day it'll happen, Juliet.

Yeah, one day. You guys just need to interview him. And then I'll... And then it'll happen. And then I'll one day. You guys just need to interview him and then I'll... And then it'll happen. And then I'll flirt up a storm. Scrolling through your page. Alrighty, these are the news stories that are broken overnight featuring information that Ben vaguely knows about.

Yeah. You got some loose facts? I have. And loose opinion. Of course, the election is this Saturday in New Zealand. Kiwis based overseas have been voting in record numbers and early votes as well here in New Zealand. You could probably count those

and get a good gauge on who's won, right? Over a million people have already voted, I think I saw on the news last night, which is pretty cool. But we've discovered something A political scandal Yes, that's right. Greater than any parliamentary affair, extramarital affair That's right. Now when you think of Orange Guy in politics, you think of Donald Trump.

And you also think of Orange Guy in our elections. And this is Orange Guy. The guy with the, you know, quite the crotchety orange morph suit. But he also comes in cartoon form as well. That's right. Tells you about all the things to do when you need to vote. This is Orange Guy. We've got Orange Guy now or Orange Guy previously?

Orange Guy previously. Okay, so this is the old Orange Guy. This is a general election and a referendum this year. If you didn't get your enrolment update pack, then you're not enrolled to vote. Okay, so that's the old Orange Guy, but this right now is a new Orange Guy. Ooh, that's not it.

Oh, that's definitely not it. If you didn't get your... Different than... What happened to the old Orange... They're lying to us. The same, they wheel them out. You think it's the same orange guy. But it's not the same orange guy.

He is, to politics, what the pack and save stick man is to supermarket shopping. Oh, you're right. A loyal campaigner has been out there. And no one's spoken about this publicly. We are the first media outlet. Some would say it's an exclusive. The Herald will be following this 7am in their bulletin. And you watch the snow, snowball starts snowing, whatever they say.

We'll get to the bottom of this. What does the snowball do? It'll do something. And of course, yesterday in basketball news, LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers won their 17th championship. I love how at the end of the game they put on special goggles to spray champagne. Like, yeah, just to protect their eyes. And they're all sponsored by all their sponsors, which is pretty cool. Oh, they don't do that in the Formula One, though, do they?

Lewis Hamilton just blows champagne straight into the eyeballs of the second and third place getters. Yeah. Callously, it must burn, too. Yeah, they've got special goggles in the NBA. But there's a lot of celebrity fans for the LA Lakers. And Rihanna, she was singing yesterday with a mate of hers all over social media and she was having a great time. No time for losing

Cos we are the champions Of world Love it. A little bit pitchy. A little bit pitchy for Riri. It sounds like Juliet, you and your friends at karaoke on a Saturday night. I thought that was a recording of me

when I loaded it in. Way over, champion. Give me a little now. One of my favourite moments, just reading about this morning from the Lakers winning the basketball, they were driving away on the team bus and one of the players was on Instagram Live, talking to

all his followers and then one of the other players had been left behind the team bus and he was messaging him on his Instagram Live and amongst hundreds of other thousands of messages. Hey mate, can you come pick me up? Yo, make a YouTube, you've left me behind and all that sort of stuff.

Because they've been playing at Florida Disneyland in their own little bubble, the NBA. So were they the only two teams in the whole of Florida Disneyland? Yeah, in the special sort of

ESPN sort of sports centre place that they have. Yeah, the two teams. What I also like is the merch, the winning merch. You know, as soon as the game's finished,

they put on hats with LA Lakers champions 2020, whatever. Well, they've also got merch for the other team as well, just in case they win too. So Miami Heat would have had Miami Heat champions 2020, but now it's null and void. No, they're not champions, right?

But they send all that merch off to poverty-stricken African countries. Yeah. So there's little children in Africa running around in factually incorrect sporting merchandise. But it's free.

Yeah. Lovely gesture. Yeah. And what a year for the Lakers to win too with Kobe's passing. Quite sentimental for them. What a tribute.

Yeah. It's very nice. And what a tribute from Rihanna as well. Shall we go out on that? We are the losers because we are the champions. Listen, I know she hasn't put out music

for a few years, but I didn't think she'd lose that much. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, who else is missing Fiji? The 333 diverse islands in Fiji. So, 333 islands in Fiji.

I did not know that. Thank you for that fact, Ben. You're going to experience sunshine and the Buller spirit, and we're celebrating the 50th anniversary of Fiji Independence Day. And this week, every caller on the show will win a Fiji 5-0 prize pack to bring a slice of paradise direct to you. And right now, you can win one with synchronised answers. Synchronised answers.

Yes, this is when we need to sync up like an old married couple arguing over the details of a story they're retelling to a group of friends. How was it? No, it wasn't there. It was in Te Ao Muru. Yeah. Basically, Juliet throws out a category. Ben and myself need to synchronise up our answer.

If we can't sync the answer up, you win the prize. Anne-Marie, how's the milking shed in Morrinsville this morning, matey? Smelly. And there'll be lots of gravy everywhere. Oh, smelly. Oh, right. Okay. Do you know, I once, now this is a

low point in my career. I know what you're going to talk about here, too. It was a low point. We were filming on a farm once, Anne-Marie. And I was like, all this little segment seems a little flat. I need to zhuzh it up a bit. And so a cow was urinating. And so I washed my hands

in it as the cow was urinating. And I just remember looking at you going, what are you doing? Have you ever done that, Anne-Marie? No, I can't say I've ever done that. Well, don't, because it's really weird. Yeah, no, it's kind of warm and it's unsettling. Everyone thinks less of you.

Oh, it leaves me itching in the wee. I tell you what, Ben Boyce, I tell you, being the germ guy he was, he did not sit next to me for the rest of the day. What are you doing? Anyway, Anne-Marie, well done. You've won this Fiji prize pack. However, we can steal it off you if we sync up our answers. We'll have a crack, okay?

Okay. You don't have to do anything. You can just sit right there and just have a listen, all right? Just sit there and wash your hands and you're on. Yeah, yeah. All right, your first category is name for me a Halloween costume. Jack-o'-lantern. Ooh, it's the same thing with...

Same thing with... Oh, well done. Okay, so so far you've still got... We haven't synced up. We almost synced up, but yeah, so far you've... You're safe, Anne-Marie. All right, things found in a forest. Leaves.

Snails. Ooh, I was a bit cloned. Snails. What's the house to be in a forest? Snails. What's a... You told me a forest that doesn't have snails in it. It's just not the first thing that comes into your head. No, it wasn't for me either,

but I worked hard on trying to not sync it up. Ben hates synchronising up the answers and stealing prizes off people, Anne-Marie. Last one, Anne-Marie's had the prizes all hers so far. Last chance to sync it up. All right, name for me a radio host. Gary McCormick. I thought you were going to go McCormick.

Emery. Yeah. We didn't sync up this morning, so that means you win. Well done. You got the Fiji prize pack. Thanks, guys. You have a great day. There's a face mask, luxury soap Coffee beans And so much more

And you can sign up To happiness in your inbox And start planning your Fiji getaway With your friends and family today Fiji.travel Slash mailing list If you want to get All the information

Start your day The wrong way It's Jono and Ben On my head The A to Z Of New Zealand We are calling every town And city in New Zealand

We call one a day We are slowly making our way all around New Zealand. Alphabetically, we're in the H's. More dedicated to this than we are our families. I haven't seen my family in three years, which is strange because we only started this four months ago. I kicked you out two years before starting this. Maybe I need to be a better parent.

Yes, we're going to Hati Hati today, which is a small rural, I always struggle with rural, rural settlement in the southwest of the west coast of the South Island. There was a show, that show 30 Rock, they had a movie called the Rural Jura. Rural Jura. That was the gag there. No one could say the movie that Eva was starring in. It's quite hard to say.

So in Hati Hati, the population fluctuates between 396 and 400, depending on who's on annual leave at the particular time. It's a quiet town, so if you're wanting a place to avoid paying tax or child support payments, then Hati Hati is where you should be. And we're going to head now through to the local general store. Good morning, PC Ghost Store. Hello there. Have we got hold of Huddy Huddy?

Ah, yes. It's Jono and Ben from the Hits Radio Station. Hello. How are you? Yeah, good. What's your name, mate? I'm Gabrielle. Gabrielle, guess what we're doing.

What are you doing? I'll give you three guesses. You have a guess. I'm not actually too sure. Okay, there was one guess. Second guess. Second one. I don't know. You're ringing for some kind of information or competition.

Oh, good. You're on the ballpark. We're ringing for information. One more guess, Gabrielle. Honestly, I'm out of guesses. Listen, I'll tell you why we are, because we are phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day.

We're up to Hari Hari. You're next on the list. Gabrielle, come on down. You tell us about the great things to do. Oh, okay. So, obviously, great fishing and whitebaiting. Okay. And also hunting as well.

Do you like whitebait yourself? No, actually, I don't eat it. People get a bit funny about the eyes. Yeah, I think because they're kind of creepy when you're looking at them. But delicious, though. Delicious in the sandwich with a bit of tomato sauce and butter. Yeah, people love to have them. My general rule of eating is never look anything in the eyes

before you're about to eat it. And how many people live there? About 400. So you would have a pretty tight-knit community, I imagine. Yeah, everyone kind of knows everyone. Okay, name your top five favourite Huttie Huttians. Oh, okay. Definitely the St. John crew.

Oh, St. John's crew, yeah. Yeah, so it's definitely Ruth and Stace and Tan and Deb and also John. Ruth, Stace, Tan, Tom, Deb. I've already forgotten them all. But they sounded like wonderful people. Yeah. Well, I tell you what, if I ever want to move to another place in New Zealand, I'm going to move there.

Okay, rightio. You don't believe me. No, I don't believe you either. I don't believe. I reckon we should force them to move there and live there for at least six months. Okay. Just to prove it, alright? Yep.

Okay? Lovely country life. Yeah. Well, you have to like the rain as well, because we've had probably non-sort rain for the past four days. Hey, good on you, Gabrielle. And you tell us about your dreams and aspirations over the next five years. What have you got going on? Oh, so I'm a volunteer for St. John's.

So that's kind of what I want to further become. I want to move up in St John's. Oh, good on you. Now, what I always forget too is the, you know when you're doing mouth-to-mouth, I always forget how many pumps you need to do on the chest. Oh, it gets to the rhythm of staying alive,

isn't it? The Bee Gees song. Oh, yeah, it's 30 to 2 no matter who. 30 to 2 no matter who. Oh, that's a good little thing. And how hard are you pushing down on the chest? A few inches, yeah. So you do have to press it quite hard.

Have you brought anyone back to life? No, not yet. But you know how to? Yep, yep. No, we do lots of practice with that. Oh, very good.

Well, it's been lovely talking to you today. We appreciate your time. Yep. And if we ever come to Harihari, we'll come and pop in and say hi. Okay, great. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, Juliet, Producer Juliet, Mil-Ju, we like to call you. Yeah. Millennial Juliet, you have come to work today, something that Ben and myself have noticed, and we're like eyeballing each other like, hmm, hmm, hmm. Judgmental uncles that we are. Oh, she's made that decision, has she, in life.

And it's a risky manoeuvre. Yeah. But I always do respect the blind confidence of someone who can wander around with a cell phone with no cover on it. No protection at all. Not even the plastic screen at the front or the cover at the back. Just a nude cell

phone you've got there. What are you doing? Good question. So I had a case on it and then it started sort of breaking apart and then it just fully fell apart probably after a night out, you know. You're far too wild to be wandering around with a cell phone with no cover. I know but it's weird

because I feel so naked without it. Like my phone feels so thin and small and I don't like it. And I need to get a new one. And also when I am filming something with my phone, you know how you hold a phone and your pinky is kind of at the bottom to kind of support it? Yeah. That covers, I think, the microphone.

So all of my videos are now muffled. And with a case, that didn't happen because it kind of allowed the sound to go. No one can hear her Instagram or TikTok. It's really sad. OMG. It's a risky game. I know.

It looks like cooking chicken on the barbecue. It's fine 95% of the time, but when it goes bad, it's going to go bad. Although, do you know what? When I very first got an iPhone, it took me a while while to get a case i think it was maybe six months or something and so i was carrying it without a case and as soon as i went and got a case i dropped my phone and the screen smashed and i was like of course that would happen when you have a case and it somehow breaks anyway there was that famous news clip from a few years ago that someone waited all night

for one of the new iPhones. And then got it out to show it off. And dropped it. And dropped it. It was the first in line. First in the world and he smashed it.

So we're running a bit of a sweepstakes, Aotearoa. 4487 on the text. How long do you think before Juliet's phone suffers a smash screen?

Polls are open right now. I'd say within the next 20 minutes. Wow. You have no faith in me.

By this time tomorrow I'm going to say you're going to need a new screen. I'm going to give myself a week.

I've got a little bit more faith in myself that I can look after my phone. Are we factoring in going out to town. Because, I mean, that's a whole other game. Yeah, let's factor that in.

Yeah, okay. You've got to the end of the week. I've got till tomorrow. Ben Boyce is not even picking till the end of the show. No. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither are these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nbet. All right, kids, get ready to shove this juice in your vape pen and take a suck of this celebrity smoke into your lungs. Juliet's here with Spy. Thanks so much. So Justin Bieber has done something.

It's a crime upon humanity, I reckon. So he has this brand, a clothing brand called Drew House, and his latest project is a collaboration with Crocs. Oh, is it Justin collaboration with Crocs. Oh, is it Justin Bieber X Crocs? Yes. And I'm just like,

mate, surely not Crocs. Why don't you collaborate with Nike or some cooler brand? Oh, listen, you know, if anyone can turn around

the perception of Crocs, it would be Justin Bieber. However, I remember we filmed with him and he was wearing a GoPro on his head oh we made him

do that though yeah but not even he looked cool with a GoPro on his head and this is the coolest man on the face of the earth yeah you're right

yeah true so you know I mean he's got a challenge ahead of him to rebrand Crocs yeah it wasn't like he just turned up and went

oh he's got a GoPro is he going to take that off but we were doing it like a Nerf gun game because he loves Nerf guns and we were all wearing GoPros. But you're right, he didn't look cool.

No, he didn't. So if he didn't look cool, imagine how cool we looked with GoPros on our heads. Even cooler, obviously. Definitely. And they're in mustard yellow as well. And I'm like,

okay, Crocs is one thing, but now you're choosing a colour that is just like, surely go black which is sleek or white which is cooked you know

I know Post Malone did something with Crocs as well I mean Crocs are really really working hard because at the moment they're nurses chefs and people who don't want to get laid

those are the three the three categories but people who wear them love them they're like the most comfortable shoes you'll put on and I'm sure if we put them on we would love them too the worry is that we comfortable shoes you'll put on. And I'm sure if we put them on, we would love them too.

The worry is that we're reaching that stage where I feel like I'm a day away from putting on Crocs. I'm like, you know, you want those? I'm running on Crocs and phoning Newstalk ZP. I get up in the morning, I'm putting on slippers to walk around the house. I mean, I never used to do that a few years ago, but I'm doing that now. Yeah, it's been our dream for probably five or ten years to do Croctober. Yeah. Through the month of October where everyone just wears Crocs and you can't wear any other footwear for 30 days.

Yeah, next year, should we try and do it? Yeah, well, we phoned Crocs once and they seemed less than enthusiastic about jumping on board with our campaign. Damn, I wonder why. Like, we're uncool to Crocs? Yeah. They don't want to be associated with us. And

photos of Chris Brown have surfaced of him visiting Adele's London flat and not leaving until 2am. And so everyone's like, ooh. Canoodling. I know. We thought this was quite scandalous, right? We're like, he's got a girlfriend, but then you

researched as well, Jono, and his girlfriend went there with him. Yeah, girlfriend went there with him. And his daughter actually lives in London, so he We're like, oh, he's got a girlfriend. But then you researched as well, Jono, and his girlfriend went there with him. Yeah, girlfriend went there with him. And his daughter actually lives in London, so he's visiting. I mean, it's a very wholesome trip, really. I like how we try and make it sound all salacious and stuff. And he was wearing Crocs, too, apparently.

To make it even worse. I know. But apparently Adele's dating a British rapper called Skepta as well. So it could be a very innocent music situation, making music together. But also odd about 2am doing it. What I found unusual about the story is Chris Brown, obviously usually

based in America, is travelling to London. True. In this current climate. I found that rather interesting, Benjamin. That's a good point. I'm not quarantined. Well, you don't have to quarantine overseas though, I think that's tough. But do you not have to quarantine? We definitely don't have to quarantine overseas, though. I think it's tough. Do you not have to quarantine?

We definitely don't have to quarantine. A friend of mine went over to the UK and she just pretty much had to go back. I think all if they did, they had to stay in a flat. I think it depends on where the country you're flying from going into the UK. There you go. That John and Ben and Juliet vaguely know information

but maybe not correct. I can't help but feel that might be the cause of a lot of the issues overseas then. People just wandering into countries. Yeah, potentially, I reckon. Yeah? Yeah, okay. Well, listen, I shouldn't have led on

with that last bit of banter. And sometimes in radio you learn that stuff but now we've ended up in this awkward hole of I should have just shut up 20 seconds ago. Should I wrap up Spy? You wrap up Spy. Thank you, Juliet. That is Spy.

For more, you can go to the hits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. It's almost time to wrap up our show for Tuesday. And we like to end on this. A feeling good. It's going to be a good day here.

Just positive vibes, man. Don't we like to do this, Ben? We do. End on a high. I actually vibes, man. Don't we like to do this, Ben? We do. End on a high. I actually seriously enjoy this. It does. It's a nice way to end the show, finding out why today's going to be a good day.

It might be a good day if you want to give us a call. Oh, 100 of the hits of our phone system is still working. Is our phone system working now? It's left us in a lurch. Bit of a shit. Max is doing that thing

when you rock your hand side to side. 50-50 sort of thing. Yeah, and that's probably what you'd say about this show. Yeah. 50-50. Do you like John O'Byr, and that's probably what you'd say about this show. Yeah, 50-50. Do you like John O'Byrne? Yeah.

Anyway, you're ending on a high. Maybe next week we'll be able to end literally on a high, depending on the votes of the referendum. Oh, yeah. Can you go to work? No, I wouldn't imagine so, unless you're Joe Rogan doing a podcast in America. The podcast that goes on for nine hours.

Yeah. But I have a question to ask before we head into it. It's going to be a good day. What way do you face in the shower, Ben Boyce? Do you face shower? Are you facing the shower head or are you letting the shower head do the work on your back? Probably letting the shower head do the work on the back predominantly. Are you? You work around.

You're not just there. You're giving it the full 360 at times. I mainly just let it blast into my esophagus. So it's in between my chin and the top of my chest. Then it just runs down this wonderful, muscular, finely crafted body of mine. All right. Juliet, it'd be weird if I asked you what we are. I was thinking the same thing I was going to ask you.

I won't bring Juliet into this. It'll be weird. Don't want to know. I'll tell you what. I'll bring Richard into it who's phoned through quickly. Richard, what way do you face in the shower who's phoned through quickly. Richard, what way do you face in the shower? Front ways.

Front ways, oh yeah. You're facing shower. He'd let that blast on you. Yeah, I'd mix it up. It's nice both. It's nice, yeah. Back's an interesting one but I imagine there's

a lot of back faces out there. Why is it going to be a good day for you, Richo? Because I'm off to the South Island for a week to go and see my parents.

Oh lovely. Yeah, South Island. You can't go wrong, can you? No, exactly. It's a beautiful spot. We're going to flick you out a Fiji 5-0 price pack for you, all right? Let's go to Daryl in Greymouth. How's the West Coast this morning, Daryl?

Oh, it's really good. We're down here at the Grey River whitebaiting. Oh, you're whitebaiting right now? Oh, wow. Yeah, we've got the best spot. My mate Gary, right beside the sewage treatment pipe. Sounds like the best spot.

The sort of brown bait. Not so white anymore. How are you going? Are you catching any? Yeah, and we've got a little bit of genola in the bucket. Oh, good on you. That's the can-do attitude there, Daryl. All right, Daryl. Whatever you need to do to catch your fish, my friend,

and I'd say offer a tetanus shot after fishing in the Grey River. You have a great day whitebaiting. We're going to flick you out a Fiji 5-0 price pack, all right? Oh, absolutely. Love it. Good on you. Let's head to Larissa. Lower Hutt, you're on the air.

Was it going to be a good day for you, Larissa? Good morning. Well, it's the sun's shining. The kids are all at school, and I'm off to spend the day with my you, Larissa. Good morning. Well, it's the sun's shining, the kids are all at school, and I'm off to spend my day with my mum, who's in a dementia unit. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Oh, that's lovely. How are you doing?

That is lovely. Good on you, Larissa. I tell you what, we're going to give you a Fiji price pack, okay? Lovely, thank you. Good on you. Do you want my card? Oh, sorry. No, it's okay.

You go. Celebrating the 50th anniversary of Fiji Independence Day. If you recall it this week, we won the Fiji Five-0 prize pack. Bring a slice of paradise direct to you with face mask, luxury soap, coffee beans, and so much more in there. You can get on the mailing list as well to bring a bit of happiness to you. Fiji.travel slash mailing list. There we go.

It's our favorite holiday, Fiji Independence Day. And we'll go one more, Sharon, quickly. Why is it going to be a good day for you, Shaz? I'm working inside and the outside doing coffee swaps. So I love the rain today. So it's going to be a good day for me today. She's avoiding those elements inside out of the rain. Good on you.

Catch you tomorrow. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny.