Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 20 - Urzila Carlson, Jono Missed His Anniversary, Big News Small Town

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Hello Tuesday! On today's podcast, we caught up with comedian Urzila Carlson, who shared some stories about judging The Masked Singer and her very bizarre experiences in hotel quarantine. Jono also shared an awkward story about bumping into the same lady three times at the traffic lights, after he had already exhausted conversation with her! As well as this, Ben committed a washing crime at home that his wife wasn't very happy about! Finally, with our new TV show Dog Almighty on TVNZ 2 starting last night (and continuing tonight) we gave away $500 to someone who watched the first episode and got the codeword. We're doing this for a wee while, so if you want to win $500, watch Dog Almighty Monday & Tuesday nights at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2, look out for the code word, then tune into The Hits live the next morning and at 8am we will give someone the money if the codeword is correct! VERY easy way to win some cash! Enjoy the poddy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Here we are, Ben, back again. It seems like these things just don't stop.

This podcast game is non-stop relentless. It just keeps going, you know, but then I admire the people that do the podcast, like the weekly podcast. Good on them. What are you saying? They've got it better than you doing, grinding it out with the day.

But, you know, you've already done the heavy lifting for the podcast. Yeah. Alan, lovely Aussie Alan, he's the one who compiles it. You just have to babble for a couple of minutes at the beginning of the podcast. True. So he's doing it again. You're right.

He's doing a lot of hard work. But I'll sit here and complain with you. It's a ruthless game, this podcast game. It is. Isn't it? It is a ruthless game. How are you going today? You all right?

I'm going all right. Yeah? Yeah. You look tired. I feel tired today. Yeah. Busy, you know, but thanks for saying that. Nothing makes you feel worse as a human being when someone's like,

well, there are things that make you feel worse. But one of them is like, oh, you look tired. Mum will say that to me. My mum will go, oh, you look tired. Oh, thanks, mum. And that's the worst thing in the world, is it, Ben? Well, no, it's not the worst. No, that's what I said.

No, I take it back. When nothing makes you feel worse, then I went, no, that's wrong. There's a lot of things that make you feel worse. Name the things that make you feel worse. Oh, there's all sorts of stuff. You don't want to. A pandemic? Yeah, that's horrible. That's horrible. Parking tickets, do that make you feel worse. Name the things that make you feel worse. There's all sorts of stuff. You don't want to... A pandemic? Yeah, that's horrible.

That's horrible. Parking tickets, do they make you feel worse? It makes you feel worse, yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'd rather say someone... You look tired than here's a parking ticket. When someone writes your name wrong on a coffee cup, is that worse?

No, that's probably fine. That's on par? I don't mind getting a bin. When you put headphones on your ears and they're too loud, that's worse. Oh, that's bad. When they're like, your ears and they're too loud, that's worse. Oh, that's bad. When they're like, whoa! Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's good. There's plenty of worse things. Yeah, you're right. When your computer says do an update and you're like, mean to hit not now, but you hit now. Oh, that's bad too. Isn't that painful? Those are the most painful. That and once you get a flu injection, you have to sit in reception are the longest,

most painful minutes of any person's life, aren't they? It's going to be fine. Just let me go., you have to sit in reception for the longest, most painful minutes of any person's life. It's going to be fine. Just let me go. But you have to sit there. Anyway, the podcast. That's what we started talking about. It just keeps rolling on today, doesn't it? It does.

We've got Ursula Carlson, comedian. Ursula's doing great things. She's got a Netflix special. She's also hosting The Masked Singer in Australia. She took over from Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, but she lied to us. She did lie to us. I understand why, because obviously she couldn't say anything.

But we asked her. We confront her, don't we? We asked her about it a few weeks ago when it was rumours that she was going to take over from Lindsay Lohan. And she was like, no, no. And then? Blatant lie. Yeah. Straight to our face.

Yeah, and then? And we confront her about this. Yeah, we do. We do. We're not afraid to ask the hard questions on this show so anyway enjoy us

hard hitting investigative journalism from us on the podcast the soggy cornflakes of radio it's Jono and Ben on the hits I forgot to tell you this

on Sunday and I don't want to name her but I bumped into a lady from the office here now not friends you know not quite quite, but colleagues, friendly colleagues, like enough to go.

Frolics, that's right. If I saw you outside of the natural confines of the office, we would engage in light banter. Yeah. And so I met her at the traffic lights. I was like, hey, how are you? And at that moment, we had, you know, covered off all the conversation that two colleagues would

have outside of work. While you're waiting for the lights to go on. While I'm waiting for the lights. And I was like, okay, well, you go have a good weekend. That was good. It was textbook stuff. You know. Get it done.

Yeah, get it done. On Monday, I might even reference it to her. Oh, did you get the stuff from Briscoe's? Yeah, good, good. You know. And that was textbook stuff. So then went on our way. We separated.

But then, uh-oh, I bump into her again. Uh-oh. Don't you hate that? It happens at the supermarket so often. Oh, my God. This is two minutes later, and this is another set of lights, and we're taking different paths. And you're like, well, we've had all the conversations that we've had.

Yeah. And what do I do now? Because I've said goodbye. Do you re-engage with conversation at that point? Oh, yeah. It's a tough one, isn't it? No, so then the conversation just sways into about how you're seeing each other again.

Again, yeah. Oh, right in the head. You're going to stop doing this. And then I'm like... And then you're just waiting for the lights to go green. Go, go. I just need to cross the road. Push in that little button, like, button like really like a couple of times.

I'm almost willing to run out into oncoming traffic just so I can end this conversation. And so I'm like, okay, well now this is done. You would not read about it. I'm then in the foyer at the casino. I get into the lift. Okay, we've really escalated your Sundays really. Where are you going on your Sunday?

Where the cars are parked. And my rampant gambling addiction. Yeah, because we've got to work on Sunday. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's right, I work hard. Yeah, I'm playing the pokies, all right? Checking where we can park the car during the week. Are you all right?

Yeah, just got to double check that the car park's still there. So then I get into the lift. The doors are about to shut. A hand comes through. Oh, no. Oh, no. You know who it is. It's her.

The doors open. She didn't know I was in there. The look on her face was, dear God, what have I done wrong in a previous life to deserve this? I'm thinking the same thing.

And so then she steps in and I'm like, we've really got to stop meeting like this. And she's like, yeah, we do. She was over it. Oh really?

And it was a silent lift ride down into the car park. It was a three-peat. A tri-meeting. The same person. I guess in three different locations, especially the last one, which sounds like it was further away from the first one. I mean, you know.

Yeah. And I know many people would have shared the same experience. Kia kaha, New Zealand. Team of five million. Be kind. Pivot. Buzzwords from 2020. To pull us through that.

And casinos on Sunday. Oh, that's what he's trying to hang us. That's all I took away from that story. That you were going, it's where we park the cars. Yeah, I understand that, but not on a Sunday. That's also where I spend all of my kids' savings, okay? And then my family don't know about it, and I leave the kids in the car park. Oh, jeez.

They love it. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, she's joining us in the studio ahead of her tour. It's called All The Rage. She's going to be visiting Auckland at Wellington and Christchurch. Tickets on sale right now at livenation.co.nz. It's great to be hanging out with Ursula Carlson.

Great to see you. Hi, boys. I'm good, thanks. Busy year for you. I was just reading you've spent a total of six weeks in quarantine this year. Yeah, actually, we've added up to 11, just, you know, because you chuck a bit of GST in there. Oh, you have 11 weeks now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is between going to New Zealand and Australia a couple of times, right? Yeah. Well, no, just once. Just once. One trip over. And then, you know, like when you have one of those things, one of those trips where everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Like just as soon as I started, as soon as I landed in Australia, Melbourne went into full shutdown. So then I had to quarantine in Sydney, then go to Melbourne, go into full level four, shut down there. And then we had an outbreak on set. So that was another two weeks in quarantine. And then coming back, quarantine here. And then I was out two days and I picked up a head cold from my son's kindy.

So I had to get tested again and then isolated at home. So that was fun. What have you learnt about yourself? Being so much time by yourself? I learnt a lot. Like I finished porn. All of it. You've seen everything. Everything.

Everything on the internet. Everything, yeah. And there's a lot of really concerning family relationships in there that I don't understand. What's season three of porn, Mike? I'm not up to that season yet. Oh, mate. There's a few twists and turns in there.

Just don't spoil anything for me. No, no, I won't, I won't, I won't. So you went across to Australia. This was awesome. You were one of the judges on The Masked Singer, which is a show that I think they're playing in New Zealand now, the American version. It's a huge show.

It's massive. So what's the premise of it? Well, it's just they get celebrities and everyone from sports stars, like one of the first guy voted out was Mark Filippousa as the tennis player, but he was really good. So you don't know who it is because they're in these amazing

costumes and then when they get voted out, they get the reveal. Yeah, so we have to yell, take it off, take it off, which will come back later to bite me in the butt. Actually, she saw that on the internet. The bite in the butt was one of the series she saw. Because we had an outbreak,

literally on the day we were supposed to film the finale, we were ready, hair, makeup, the whole tour, all the last singers were in their costumes and then producers walked in and went, we have to shut it down, there's an outbreak and then I had to fly back to I had to isolate for two weeks in Melbourne and then fly back to New Zealand.

We filmed the finale in two different cities there and one hotel room in New Zealand. So I had to do my own hair and makeup. Then we started recording but of course it's the finale. So it's massive, right? And we have three masked singers and we have to get them to take their heads off.

So I'm in my headphones. All they can hear in the adjacent rooms is, take it off, take it off. Four o'clock in the morning here at Four Points on Queen Street. And then I just hear. And it's an army guy at the door. Really? Yeah, because there were complaints, as you can imagine.

I'm supposed to be alone in the room and all they can hear is, take it off, take it off. That's funny. Now, you actually replaced Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, which I thought was a natural choice off the bench. If you can't get Lindsay, who would you get? Which is awesome, but I think we spoke to you because there were rumours going around. Oh, this is what we said next time we talk to Ursula.

We are going to talk to Ursula. So we spoke to you about this. There was rumours going around. This is what you had to say. I was reading yesterday there was rumours you might be taken over from Lindsay Lohan on a reality show. I mean, that's pretty cool to be mentioned all over Australian media. Oh, yeah.

I mean, this is wild speculation and rumour. I'm, that's pretty cool to be mentioned all over Australian media. Oh, yeah. I mean, this is wild speculation and rumour. I'm sitting in West Auckland at the moment and the borders are closed as far as I know. But, I mean, I could never take over

for Lindsay Lohan. The wardrobe, you know, would combust. So, you were using your flathead. 24 hours later, the news broke. I know, because I...

We could have got the scoop. I know. That's why I kept it from you. Your producer said you wouldn't know what to do with the success. They're right. They're right. So good to see you. Ursa Carlson, go see her.

She is hilarious, as you know. All the rage. Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch. Tickets on sale from livenation.co.nz. Serving bowls of lols for breakfast. Actual lols may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, on TikTok at the moment,

there's a lady who bought some leather pants from a store. I think it might have been Zara, and she found out there's a very unfortunate thing that happens when she bends over to pick something up. Here's a demonstration. So I bought these really cute flary-type leather pants, and I went out to eat with my family in them. On our way out, my sister drops her phone.

So I go down to pick it up and this happens. Is that a squeaking leather? It's a pants. Every time she bends over, they make a very unfortunate noise. You've got to have a certain level of confidence to wear leather pants. Yes. I tried wearing a leather pants. Julia, I didn't even finish my sentence and she's already going, oh.

I had my, hey, hey babes, I had my leather pants days. And they were, I wore them once literally and I could not get them off. In fact, I haven't taken them off. I just put other trousers on top of the leather ones because they are now surgically attached to my legs. You have to be a rock star like Lenny Kramitz or someone like that to pull off a leather pants. You could do leather pants.

I don't know if I could. Have you got leather pants Julia? No way. My wife, this is the way we think about leather pants because my wife's got a pair of leather pants. I know they're leather. I didn't even know they were leather but now I know you do because I put them in the wash. Just a normal wash. Do you pair of leather pants. I know they're leather. I didn't even know they were leather. But now I... Now you do. Because I put them in the wash.

Just a normal wash. Do you not put leather pants in a wash? Apparently not. Apparently not. Oh, you were to know? No, no. Was there a label on the leather pants? I don't know.

I didn't even know they were in there. I just picked out the washing pile, put it in the wash, and I would have been... Amanda's like, did you do the washing? And I thought, here we go. I'm going to get surprised.

Yes. I picked up a massive pile and chucked it in. I think the kids might have been in there. But they're also being bathed at the same time. Win-win. Yes, I did do the washing. And she's like, did you look at what was in the washing? I was like, oh, no, it's washing.

I put it in the washing. Yeah, well, so the pants are kind of not as good as they once. I like, you know, like the cool ripped sort of look. It's quite cool in leather, right? No. Oh, they're ripped. They're kind of a bit frayed and a bit sort of, yeah, no, they're not good. They're now leather shorts.

Yeah. They shrunk. Yeah. So I basically committed a washing crime. And I don't want to. But you gave it a go, Ben. That's what I think. And I think we should applaud Ben for giving washing a go.

You gave leather pants a go. If you gave it a go, we should applaud you for that. I'll go, oh. Yeah. Julia, but I know your real thoughts, for that. I'll go, oh. Like Julia. Julia, but I know your real thoughts, Julia. The first reaction was, oh. And I hadn't even explained what I'd done.

Apologies. I just said, I gave, oh. Oh. I think less of you. Every day, every day. Already the bar was very low. I know, we're like the uncool uncles, eh? Yeah, first you were a bucket hat and then you were leather pants. Oh, that bucket hat was special.

Bring it back. They're cool again. Sorry, I'm roasting you, aren't I? This is about Ben and his washing faux pas, not back to my party pill-selling bucket hat. I wore a bucket hat and I looked like I'd sell MDMA to children at festivals. Oh, God. I know, so that's why you stopped wearing that.

So we want to know this morning, help me feel a little better, have you had some laundry mishaps? Yeah. Have you washed something and it has turned out badly? Have you washed a shirt and then had to wear it the next day and it turned out pink? I don't know. That happens.

People mix up the colours, don't they? Have you got something of your partner's that you have ruined but you haven't admitted yet? The washing crime line. What have we got? We'll go to Nelson. Pip, you're on the air. What was the crime you committed in the washing?

Well, yeah, we have a two-year-old, and back when she was a little newborn, my lovely husband, Sam, with all intents and purposes, left a nappy in the wash. So any mother who's had this happen will know that inside of a nappy is that gel stuff, and it goes absolutely everywhere. And he did this about three times in addition to doing washing without washing powder.

So with a newborn, I'm having to rewash everything. Oh, Sam's still in the still in hot water over this, hot washing machine water over this. He's in the hot cycle. Oh, he's pretty forgiven now. Were the nappies used? hot washing machine water over this. He's in the hot cycle. Oh, he's pretty forgiven now. Were the nappies used? A couple of them were just, you know, not soiled nappies, just like wet nappies, thank goodness.

But, yeah, one of them I think was just a fresh one that accidentally he thought that the baby put them in there. That's what he tried to tell me. That's the good thing about babies. You can blame them on, you can blame everything on a baby. Yeah. You've got a good four years that you can do that. You can get away with murder. Oh, sweet.

I might try doing that too. Oh, I appreciate your call. Hold the line, we'll flick out someone, all right? Thank you. All right, Petra and Cutty Cutty, welcome. Washing crimes that you need to admit to the household.

What happened? It's not my crime. It's his crime. Well, what did he do? Well, we constantly have this debate about whose job it is to find things that finish up in the drum of the washing machine. You know, the odd pen gets left in a pocket. And then one day I pulled the washing out of the machine,

stuck it straight into the dryer, and when I took the washing out of the machine, stuck it straight into the dryer, and when I took the clothes out, everything was covered in red, not fluff, but goo. And we worked out that it was a red crayon that he'd left in a pair of work shorts. What is he using a crayon at work? Are you married to a three-year-old?

Sometimes. He uses it to mark up timber. I love it's a common theme that, you know, there's one gender who keeps making the mishaps in the washing zone. It's a real job to do the washing, isn't it? I did get a new top out of it because there was one of my tops within that wash. It was a grey hoodie, which was pretty new, and it was just completely pink and waxy. Go back to Ben's point.

Can we give a, what's his name, Petra? It's Mark. Let's give Mark a round of applause for giving it a bash. He gave it a go. He gave it a go. He gave it a crack. There's not enough acknowledgement for just giving it a crack. Yeah, all your colours look like you supported the Crusaders.

Whose responsibility is that? Whose responsibility is that to check pockets? Oh, yeah. It's a great area. Hey, listen, we're not here to defend him. We're just trying to wrap up this phone call. Have a lovely day, Petra. Eggs for breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Last night on TVNZ2 at 7.30, we hosted a reality TV show looking for New Zealand's most talented dog. It's on again tonight. 7.30 on 2 as we go through the audition phase. There's amazing dogs on the show, all with their owners who are incredible as well, competing for $100,000.

Yeah, that's right. And, you know, you'd think the dogs and their droppings would be all over the floor, but the only persons I had to pick up were yours, Ben. That's right. I thought it would be all dog-related stuff. No, it's just mine. So I wandered around with my little bum bag

and a plastic bag in there. Thank you for doing that. Well, that's how much I love you. We had a lot of fun hosting the show. Incredible dogs, really great people we met. But we realised we're shocking reality TV hosts and here were some of our low points. Do you realise you're the only male in this category?

Well, there you go. No, I've just been told there's another one. Too late to get a better host? And you're a taxidermist, is that right? No. Okay, that's not right. I just like to ask that. I understand you do yoga.

Not really, but we just pretend. Hey, now, Brittany, you've got a sled. You get towed by 12 dogs. 12? I don't know who told you 12 I just made the number if you could agree with me and not make me look like an idiot Yeah so not great

That's what happens when you just make up research on the spot You're a taxi doer There's a code word though today if you watched the show last night and at 8 o'clock this morning if you've got that code word

you can give us a call and someone will be winning $500 thanks to Dog Almighty. Which is $10,000 in dog years. That's how it translates, isn't it? I don't know if it's quite the same. Last night, though, there was a standout dog, wasn't there? Yeah, well, one of the dogs that captured the hearts of many people was a dog called Maisie, who was an adorable three-legged dog.

And I think we're speaking to right now on the phone, Rachel, who's the owner of the adorable Maisie. How's it going, Rach? Hey, I'm good, thanks. How are you? I'm doing well, just as Ben said. No one's ever referred to me as the adorable Jono. No, the adorable Maisie. I want to be called the adorable Jono.

You need to start doing adorable things. Maybe I should lose a leg and then I'll be the adorable Jono. Now, you and Maisie have such a close bond. How long have you had Maisie for? I've had Maisie for 11 years. I got her when she was just a little puppy. And obviously the horrible day where Maisie got hit by a car must have been pretty traumatic. It's up there with the worst days of my life.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. I thought she was dead for probably a good half an hour. And so what? she was lifeless? Well, no, we couldn't find her. So she'd been hit by the car and it was dark and she crawled into a ditch somewhere. Oh my gosh. And so then you obviously found her.

And the leg, did it come off immediately or they tried to save it? Yeah, we picked her up and it just dropped off. No, we took her to the vet and we actually kept her on for about a year before we amputated. to save it? Yeah, we picked her up and it just dropped off. No, we took her to the vet and we actually kept her on for about a year before we amputated. So she started using it a little bit, like we did a lot of

hydrotherapy and things, and she used it a little bit, but in the end she ended up dragging it and it got little sores on it. You said through Dog Almighty that Maisie's quicker now with three legs than she was with four. Yeah, she actually is.

She was her weaving, so beforehand she used to just trot through the weave poles. But now that she's got three legs, she actually has to hop, and she's got a better technique, and she's actually way faster. It's pretty amazing to see Maisie last night on the show with three legs doing so well. I mean, she hops on a horse with you, right? Yeah, yeah, she hops on the horse. I just get her to jump on a bank and then lift her up onto the horse. She can still catch rabbits, rats, mice.

She's really good with that kind of thing. Obviously, there's no spoilers. We can't talk too much about the show, but is it tough when people are like, oh, you went on the show? They're asking you questions? Yeah, yeah, lots of people are asking questions, but yeah, we'll have to wait and see.

$100,000 prize money up for grabs. Are you driving a new Lamborghini now? Yeah. I can't say. You can't say. Well, Rachel, listen, it was great having you on Dog Almighty, and Maisie, we can tell,

is going to, the adorable Maisie, is going to melt the hearts of New Zealand, if not already. I know a lot of people have already checked into the hospital with heart complications. Oh, because of it? Because of last night's episode. Is that what happened?

That's what happened. That's a fact. Well, all the best for the rest of the series. Really great to have you on there. And give Maisie a nice pat for us. We will. Thanks. This pat's from Jono and Ben.

This guy is from Jono and Ben. Oh, okay. Thanks. That's weird, but okay. Not from you, from Jono and Ben. This guy has some Jono and Ben. Okay, that stinks. That's weird, but okay. Not from you, from Jono and Ben. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, some really nice news.

Just reading before that happened over the last couple of days. A baby in New Zealand has been delivered safe and well on board an emergency helicopter in Auckland. Oh, that's amazing. And delivered literally, too, from location A to location B, too, by the helicopter. Delivered in, oh, you're right, on the helicopter and also delivered on location.

So the Westpac rescue helicopter picked up a mother who was with a midwife but needed to go to hospital from Waiheke Island on Sunday. And mid-flight, they delivered the baby. And they chuck all the placenta out the window, do they? All the leftover bits? I don't know what they do in that situation. Cut the umbilical cord with the blades, the rotor blades.

Hold the baby up. Oh, jeez. One of the people who helped deliver said it was obviously quite tight for room in there. You're quite cramped in a helicopter, but they managed to make it work. Then you got an extra passenger on board too at the end of it as well. You had factored in that, had you?

No, but it's a remarkable story, so congratulations to them. Is she going to name the baby Westpac and or Rescue? Or Chopper? Chopper. After the notorious murderer. Don't know if that's going to be the case. But I was looking online for some common but quite unusual

places that people are giving birth. And I thought on 0800THEHITS right now, let's see if we can knock off all five of the most common but also kind of unusual places people are giving birth. One would be mid-flight. But if you have given birth mid-flight, love to hear from you on 0800THEHITS. Oh, you're not going to tell us then? Would you like me to or not? Yeah, I would like you to. No, I was just saying.

No, you're not going to. So you just call up and say, I gave I would like you to. No, you're not going to... You just call up and say, I gave birth here and I'll go, nah, not on the list. I'll go, yeah, that's on the list. Oh, you're like one of these smug people who knows something but he's not going to share it with anyone. But then I'll give you a $20 health pizza voucher if you are on the list and you get on the air. Okay.

On a horse. Not on the list. On an e-scooter. Not on the list. But there's transport andcooter. Not on the list. But there's transport. There's a couple of transport options. On a penny farthing. Horse and carriage. No, okay. Let's go to

Morris. You're in Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Morris. Where were you born? Well, I wasn't technically born in a country. Oh, what happened? Mid-flight somewhere? Yeah, my mum worked over in Sydney

and my dad lived in Auckland and she was coming back to visit my dad and she was on the flight kind of right in the middle between Sydney and Auckland and it turned out I was, well, hiking quite a bit early. Oh, you came right. And so you arrived mid-flight. Imagine being the passenger next to you, trying to eat their bloody rubber omelette.

Yeah. Wow. So mid-flight is on the list. So well done. You get some help, pizza vouchers. So what country are you a citizen of by birth? I asked my parents and they won't tell me. Oh, right.

International man of mystery. Yeah. Jason Bourne. I love it. Thank you for your call, 1-800-HATS. Appreciate it. That was on the list, John. Obviously mid-flight.

Well done, Travis. You get rewarded with Ben's strange game. We have to make up the list. We'll go to Sarah in Wellington. Welcome. How are you? Great, thanks. How are you? Oh, great, thanks. How are you going?

We're doing well. You gave birth where, Sarah? No, my sister gave birth outside a London hospital in a taxi. Oh, okay. Well, I think we might have ticked off too because in an Uber or taxi is on the list as well as side of the road. So there, I'll give you both. Side of the road in a taxi, two off the list.

Now, the soilage fee for that. I didn't ask her about that. Yeah, it's a couple of hundred bucks, isn't it, the soilage fee? Yeah, well. Juju, you're always vomiting in your Ubers. How much is it? It's $2.50, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's up to $100 now.

All right. I don't know. Hey, good on you, Sarah. Well done. You get a $20 health pizza voucher. So we've knocked off three of the top five. Yeah, we've knocked off three. There's just two more to go.

We'll go to Wanganui. Andrea, you're on the air. Welcome to the show. Morning. Where was the birth? In the toilet. Oh, bathroom is on the list. It's on the list.

We're knocking off this list. Here we go. A strange way of presenting a list. Whereabouts? Which bathroom? So at my home I just popped to the toilet before we drove to hospital but it all happened pretty quickly

and he was brought into the toilet. Oh my goodness. Into? Not into the toilet. In the bathroom. In the toilet. Oh sorry I take it back. Oh, jeez. Okay. Well, I suppose it's quite a good little catching miss, isn't it?

Really. We laugh and say that he was bungee jumping. Boing, boing. Oh, thank you so much. That was really cool. We're going to flick out our Hail Pizza voucher because that was on the list. And that's how she gave birth to little baby toilet duck. What a wonderful baby.

And we've got one more. Oh, we're going to complete all the lists. We're going to head to Hamilton. Morrie, welcome to the show. Daughter was born where? On the doorstep. Is that one of them?

Not on the list, but that's an impressive one. The store. I was looking for a store, but what happened with the doorstep story? I was putting the other kids in the car and then my partner said, you better

get over here and catch this baby. I come over the car bonnet and put my hands between the legs and the baby just dropped out. Oh my goodness. You wouldn't get a more Kiwi thing. You better get over here Morris and catch this baby. It's coming. Get your hands ready.

Oh, so good. I'm going to give you a whole pizza voucher as well because I appreciate your ready. Oh, so good. I'm going to give you a whole pizza voucher as well because I appreciate your call. That was so good. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Let's look at some big news. Small town. Town, town, town, town, town, town, town.

There's a guy in Blenheim who's making it on national news for a most amazing thing. His name is Nathan Edwards, and he's challenging himself to complete 30 hours, 30 hours of non-stop burpees. Wow. Now, is this like when you get a little windy in the office and I have to pat you on the back? No, this is the fitness move where, you know,

you just put your chest on the floor, you lie down, and you jump back up, and you jump up. 30 hours? 30 hours. 30 hours. He's doing it for a great cause. It's a wonderful thing. We'll find out more as he joins us on the phone right now. Nathan, this is amazing.

How's it going? Yeah, pretty good. I'm aching a little bit. I've got three weeks to go. Three weeks to go to do how much? What's your goal? 10,000 burpees. 10,000 non-stop?

Pretty much, yeah. I mean, it's going to be over two days. So I'm aiming to do 5,000, 6,000 a day, which is basically the whole day. It's going to take 15 hours per day. Now, you're doing it for a wonderful cause, though, something very dear to your heart. Yeah, absolutely.

And what I'm going to go through for those two days is nothing compared to what my mother in the UK is going through. She's going through chemotherapy for breast cancer treatment at the moment. So raising awareness and money for breast cancer. Oh, what a wonderful son. If only

I was as fit enough to do that for my mum. If my mum's listening, don't ever expect anything like that from me. You've been training for this. You said you've been quite sore. So how many burpees are you doing at the moment for training?

So I probably do 500 to 1,000 per day. So that's like two and a half hours. Oh my God. And I usually do that after work. It's quite boring

because I'm in one spot up and down, up and down. Are you watching TV? Are you listening to something? I mean, what's happening while you're going on? I was thinking about listening to a podcast.

Usually I listen to my own fault, which goes on pretty horrendous, but yeah, I'm going to start listening to Harry Potter or something just to keep my mind off of this. May I suggest the Hits Breakfast with John Owen Bean on iHeart? I reckon that'll keep me going. Incredible. And so what are the rules

surrounding this? Do you get a break every hour for a couple of minutes? I'm going to do sets of 250 burpees and do a rep every seven seconds. And I'm going to have a five-minute break between each 250. So that's probably enough to just have a bit of water, maybe go to the toilet, a bit of food. I probably can't do all three, so I'm going to have to be selective. Yeah, that's weird if you do all three at the same time, isn't it? It's an amazing thing you're doing, and we wish you all the best.

But it's not the first time you've done anything like this before. I understand you've cycled through Europe, right? Yeah, cycled from London to Greece, and literally that was about a week before I decided to do that. I mean, most of these kind of big things just come up a few weeks beforehand or some cases a week and I just get on with it. 5,000 Ks you cycled. Have you ever just sort of thought to yourself,

oh, you know what, I'll just let myself go like the rest of us? Oh, I did during lockdown, so this is a way to get me back on it. That is amazing. Well, listen, I've also done 10,000 burpees. It was over the last three days after Heineken's. Oh, love it, love it. That is amazing. Well, listen, I've also done 10,000 burpees. It was over the last three days after Heineken's. Oh, love it. Maybe John, I could come along

and give you some motivation. Why don't I drink the same amount of Heineken's as you do burpees? I don't know if that's going to work. Oh, well, Nathan, really nice talking to you. We wish you all the best. If people want to donate and help out because it is for a great cause, breast cancer research, where can they do that? Best way is Google 10,000 burpees per month, and it comes up.

Well, promise me this, that you take the next day off the gym. Yeah. Yep, yep. I've booked annual leave, and I gave them a good reason. You can probably, because they say don't skip leg day, but I think this time you can skip leg day. You can skip leg month. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I'm just going to have a big party afterwards on a Monday. Oh, good on you, Nathan. Lovely talking to you and all the best. No, thanks. Brilliant. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy.

No, what's up? Spy.co.nz. Here's where producer Juliet checks in and Ben and I check out to the checkout to finish our online shopping. Juliet with Spy. Thanks very much. Now, Demi Lovato, who you'll know from this big song. So she has spent the last few days at the Joshua Tree National Park,

which is a massive sort of reserve in California, and has posted photos of what she's experienced while she was there. And it was at nighttime, a bunch of sort of weird things going on in the sky. And she says that she reckons they were UFOs, they were aliens. And that as humans, we need to hurry up and make contact with aliens if we want to survive as a species, as a human race. Yeah. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you know, the Joshua Tree National Park, isn't that

where people go and creatively find themselves using substances? Oh, you think it's one of those? Well, she's sober now, though, isn't she, Demi Lovato? Yeah, she is. It might not be, but I just know that's an area where you go, it's like you run around naked and you're like, oh, look at me, I'm rediscovering myself.

Maybe she's worried about 5G causing corona and all that sort of stuff. No, true. She's wearing a tinfoil hat. I was reading the other day that Rachel Hunter, of course, a Kiwi supermodel, she went on a 19-day sort of journey and didn't speak. That was part of it for 19 days. That's part of it. I said it was amazing.

There's one you can do out west. Right. You go for a week and don't say a word to anyone. Leave your cell phone away. Yeah. Really? Just alone with you. I don't know if I... Imagine just sitting with your thoughts just alone with you I don't know if I imagine just sitting

with your thoughts for 19 days I don't know if I could do that but good on people that do it and actually speaking of Jimmy Lovato her first boss

was Barney the dinosaur so if anyone's going to see some UFOs it's going to be the lady who had to answer to a dinosaur which was a child that's true

and Adele is so she is estranged from her father, but they haven't been in contact for a few years now. You never want to be estranged from your multi-million dollar daughter. See, that's the first issue. The second issue that he's got going on is that he is living next door to a very young Adele superfan.

And this young superfan is blasting Adele music all the time to the point that he's like, I do not want to hear my daughter's songs and call the cops. She's probably so rich she probably purchased the house next door and just planted someone in there to play music to torment him. Paying them an hourly wage just to do that. True, but as a dad you'd

be like, oh for God's sake, do I really have to live with a super fan of my daughter that I don't really talk to? Oh look, so he left the family when she was four. And he's a plumber in Wales. And they haven't really spoken since. Oh, really? Isn't that sad? It is sad.

Yeah. It's really sad. Reminds me you should go see your kids you've got around the country, Ben. Just in case one of them becomes an international recording artist. Here we go. Is that spy? Any more you want to say, Jon? Whose job is it to wrap it up? Is it Ben's or

yours? It's my job. It's just Julia's. Right now I feel like I should wrap it up. Is that spy? That's spy. That is spy. For more you can go to theheadstock.co.nz. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, I want to just ask you a quick question.

Here we go. He's been taunting me. Taunting me all morning. I like about something that maybe you may or may not have forgotten in your life. To grow hair. I thought I'd do that before you did. Because I know you were running to that finish line. And I won that race.

You did win that race. Also, but I'm not winning the race against my hairline. Oh, that one burns on yourself,

don't they? The roast of me by me. I like it just to get in before I get you. Yeah, I do. I know it's coming. I like the satisfaction

of stealing it away from you. No, today, is there anything you've forgotten? Oh, there's a lot of stuff to remember. Yeah, there is.

Breathing. The shirt. We had to bring a shirt for this other thing we're doing. Did you bring a shirt? The black one? Yeah. No.

That's a very good point. Had to bring that as well. Yeah, well, I better go home and get that. No, so I didn't remember. So there's a lot of stuff that you have to remember. Yeah. No, I don't know.

Do you want to look at the date and then go, hey, this is something I've forgotten? I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. Because yesterday I ran... I feel like you know something. Well, I feel like I do, and I'm trying to give you an opportunity to come through here

because yesterday I ran into your wife, Jen, who works in the same building here, and she was like, John, he's forgotten something. He's forgotten. And I was like, has he's forgotten something he's forgotten and i was like is it here sure we had a good laugh oh the laugh we had we love her silly bald man she was like today today is a big day for you, Jen, today. Yes. Anniversary, mate.

Your anniversary. I know. You know? Yes. That's why I'm taking her to dinner tonight. But she doesn't know. Oh, really? Have I just ruined something?

Well, of course I remember. Marriage is a wild ride, Ben. Oh, sorry. Are you into it already? I thought, because I ran into Genius, that I'm sorry, and she was like, John, I've forgotten. There's nothing being planned.

Well, no, because this is a surprise. And I was like, well, hey, let's do it. This is a surprise. I'm sorry. It's okay. I feel terrible. No, no, no, no. These things happen.

No, I'm sorry. These things happen. You might have been making fun of my alopecia that I hadn't remembered. No, you made sorry. I'm sorry. You might have been making fun of my alopecia that I hadn't remembered. No, you made fun of it first. But then also the gall of trying to throw his mate under the bus live on the radio about forgetting an anniversary date too.

I'm sorry about that. Have you honestly got something planned? Yes. But it's a surprise. Not now though, but that's okay. Well, hopefully she doesn't listen. Sometimes, you know, they say the best things about surprises is when they're ruined. No, I don't think now though, but that's okay. Well, hopefully she doesn't listen. Sometimes, you know, they say the best things about surprises is when they're ruined.

No, I don't think anyone says that. You know, we're going to go out for dinner. I was going to take her to, yeah, anyway. It's a surprise for me now. I'm fine again about it, so that's good. I'm sorry about that. Well, you should call now, and now she needs to call her and apologise because she'll be listening.

She'll be dropping the kids right now. What? I'll call the number. That's awkward. Maybe she hasn't the kids right now I'll call the number maybe she hasn't heard about that I'll dial the number and hey

we'll find out if she's listening oh no please don't if she's not listening then hey we'll keep this all amongst

ourselves I'm genuinely sorry I didn't mean to our 14 year wedding anniversary won't be here destroyed

we'll just see if she is. She might not be listening. Hello. Hey. Hi. What are you up to? Just getting the kids off to school. Oh, right.

So you haven't heard anything? What's going on? What's happening? Oh, that's good. That's good. Okay. Is there anything you want to say to Ben? About our anniversary?

Yeah about the Jono maybe forgetting the anniversary Yeah And I Look I may have spoken to Jono On the radio about it Brought it up Been lording it over him all day

And It turns out he had I feel terrible Because he Is there anything you want to say to Ben? He planned something And now I What would I want to say to Ben?

That maybe I Had got you to have that conversation with him. What? You got... Hang on, what? Because I knew you would do this. And then I said I had a surprise dinner planned. And then to make you feel bad. It was all a ruse.

We're not even married. It's all a ruse. What? We're not even married. It's all been a prank the last 14 years for this moment right here. The longest prank in history. We had prank kids. We made prank kids just so you'd believe that we were married. I'm so confused right now. What? So were you?

No, it is our anniversary. Yeah. Happy anniversary, darling. Thank you. But I thought, well, I'll get her to say to you that he's forgotten and then he'll turn into radio fodder. Which I did. And then I'll be like, no, I had a surprise planned

and they made you feel bad. You just got pranked. Husband and wife pranked. The weirdest prank ever, though. Husband and wife tag team pranking. Spicing up your anniversary with a prank. The pranky prize. Oh, well, happy anniversary, guys.

That was a rollercoaster, whatever that was. Thanks, Jen. Okay. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Scrolling through your feed. Fresh from his fishing trip where he catches his news with clickbait. Benjamin Boyce scrolling through your feed this morning.

A lot of talk right now about who is going to be the Deputy Prime Minister. Is it going to be someone from the Labour Party or will they make a deal with the Greens? Calvin Davis seems to be the front runner. You'll remember him from the election where he made a funny poem speech. My husband's from Samoa, so talofa. They all marched on anyway with very little hope. Down, down, down their slippery, slippery slope. Full respect for him for doing that.

Yeah, a bit of a comedy poem speech there. Where was that? Was it in the town hall? Yeah, I'm not exactly sure where it was, but obviously in front of a whole lot of Labour supporters who was loving it. Risky, though. You know, there's many people in his close circle of friends

who could have said, don't do that. But he kept rolling with it. I appreciate the confidence. So will it be Kelvin Davis, the Deputy Prime Minister, or will it be Grant Robinson, another name thrown around now? I thought he was the Deputy. We did. We both did.

We had a show a few weeks ago where we had Grant Robertson on and all through the show we were saying he was the deputy prime minister already. With like arrogant confidence as well. I've said it so many times. Have a listen to this.

After seven o'clock on the show today, Grant Robertson, the deputy prime minister, will join us. This morning we're going to talk to Labour deputy Grant Robertson. After seven o'clock on the show, the deputy prime minister, Grant Robertson. After seven o'clock on the show, the Deputy Prime Minister Grant Robertson joins us.

As we said, Deputy Labour MP Grant Robertson is going to be joining us. We've got Grant Robertson, Labour Party Deputy Leader, joining us very shortly. Plus, Labour Deputy Grant Robertson too, going to be joining us before eight o'clock. Grant Robertson, Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, joins us very shortly. Joining us on the phone right now, and we thank him very much for his time this morning, Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Grant Robinson. How's it going? I'm not, by the way. We do just need to greatly clear that up. No, I'm

just the humble Minister of Finance. Oh! Who's the Deputy Leader? No, that's Kelvin Davis. Oh, I just thought we'd be saying it all morning, mate. No, that's Kelvin Davis. Oh, it is. We've been saying it all morning, mate. Jeez, we gave him some air time on the teasers. How much teasing? How much?

Like, what was the time duration between that? That was 50 seconds. Yeah, but I think we started teasing him at six. He was on at seven. We teased him like 39 times. Oh, we just covered it up, covered it up. Oh, and we got it wrong. Like we're talking to Brad Pitt or something.

Gee whiz. Well done. So here will be Deputy Prime Minister. We'll find out very shortly as well as that. This is really nice. The Vodafone Warriors, they won an award at last night's Rugby League Awards, the Daily M's. They won two awards. Roger Tuavasashek got Captain of the Year.

And the Warriors basically got the, what is the People's Choice Award for everything they went through this season, the sacrifices they went leaving their families and going over there in Australia and quarantining in a bubble and all that but the cool thing again on the telly, not just that it won the award, was he did another hologram, another hologram this time from New Zealand

they beamed Adam Blair Warriors Fort into the studio in Australia it looked amazing. Oh the holograms are blowing my jazz apples at the moment. They really are. It's incredible technology and it's going to take me at least 10 years to get over it.

Every time I see it, I was like, it's another hologram! There's going to be a generation of babies being born right now and holograms will just be a thing. Yeah. They'll never know life

without holograms. But for us, we're like, oh, you know, there was a time we had no holograms. But for us, we're like, oh, you know, there was a time we had no holograms. It's so exciting. It's like having Grant Robinson.

The Labour deputy. The deputy prime minister on the show. I mean, jeez. Yeah, we could have beamed him in here with a hologram.

We probably, you know, in 10 years, you could probably just do the show from home as holograms. Yeah. Oh,

it's incredible. You could be married to a hologram. It's mind-blowing, isn't it? Isn't it? Ben Boyce, you could make love to a holograms? Yeah. Oh, it's incredible. You could be married to a hologram. It's mind-blowing, isn't it? Isn't it? Ben Boyce, you could make love to a hologram. Well, okay. He went there. And now a hologram would be just as disappointed with me.

I'm a digital hologram and you still make me sad. Will you stop crying in the corner, Ben? And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is something we do every day on the show,

if you've just tuned in. We've committed to this since day one. We call a different town and city in New Zealand one a day. We're doing it alphabetically, and we're slowly town and city in New Zealand. One a day. We're doing it alphabetically and we're slowly working our way around New Zealand. And it does not get more Kiwi than Haumoana, which is 12 kilometres south of Napier. All there is

there is a school, a general store, a takeaway shop and a fire station. Approximately 430 houses in Haumoana. And the only thing that would make Haumoana more Kiwi would be an actual Kiwi baking inside a pavlova held by Jacinda Ardern wearing jandals while sitting inside a giant bowl of onion dip.

Well, that's Kiwi. And we're going to head through now to one of the only places that has a phone number here. It's an estate in Haumawana. Elephant Hill Winery. I'm speaking with Carly. Hi, Carly, how are you? I'm good thank you, how are you?

Well slap a nappy on me and say I'm done I am looking at your website Oh are you? Elephant Hill Lodge Looks amazing Oh my gosh, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits here Oh hello Hello, we ring every town and city in New Zealand

We do one a day and today it's your neck of the woods. Oh, fabulous. A whole Moana. Isn't it stunning? Isn't it? So you've got drone shots of your lodge. There's a pool. There's a winery.

There's a vineyard. And there's even a restaurant. There's a restaurant. There's a restaurant. There's a restaurant as well. I love how you whisper that to us like a little secret. Tell us about your little slice of paradise, because we're calling every town in New Zealand.

We do one a day. Our slice of paradise is right on the Cape. We have a stunning view. Tell her, I reckon you've had famous people stay at this place. Well, we can't really tell you that. Oh, okay. And you saying you can't tell me leads me to believe. I'm going to say, this doesn't work for radio,

but I'm going to say a name you just blank if you've had them stay there. Barack Obama. I can hear your eyelashes moving. I'll name another famous person. The Briscoes Lady. This does not work for radio. Tony from Tony's Tire Service. Mmm.

Nice to see you. All the big players. And the vineyard as well. What's your favourite wine? Actually, at the moment, it is our 17 Reserve Syrah. How long does it take for grapes to become wine? Well, it's a long process, but I'm actually in the finance area.

Okay, well, so how long does it take to balance the books at the end of the year? There's a question for you. Oh, usually a few weeks, actually. Actually, do you know what? We've spoken about this publicly before.

Ben Boyce has been avoiding tax for many years. Do you think you could help cook his books? Well, not if he's avoiding tax. No, that's right. Above board. That's right. Elephant Hill.

A homeowner. So what do you reckon the population is of the town? Yeah, 800, 900. Yeah, right. So everyone would know everyone. Oh, yes. Very much so. Yeah, okay.

Who's the least liked person on your list? I'm not about to take that. You're not going to do that on radio? Not everyone's got a Jono in their life that they happily will say, oh, the least liked person. Oh, no. Hey, well, thank you for your time. We've really sucked up valuable minutes in your day

when you should probably be doing more important things. Wow, yes, that is right. I need to balance these books. That's right. It takes weeks, I understand. Lovely talking to you and take care of your lovely place.

Alright, thank you so much. See you mate. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and

Ben on the Hats. Now there's a court case going on in England and English model and TV personality Rebecca Vardy has

said something that's come up in court proceedings. I don't really understand why it's come up, how it's got to do with this court case.

Yeah, during the news Ben was like I'm going to talk about this thing, but please do not ask me any follow-up questions. No follow-up questions. Anyway, this lady's name is Rebecca. She's well-known in the UK, and at some stage earlier on, quite a few years ago, she had a relationship with Peter Andre. Okay.

And in the court proceedings, it's come up with her saying how she likened his manhood to one of the smallest trouser equipment things that she'd ever seen. And it was like a miniature chipolata. That's come up in court proceedings. The smallest trouser equipment I've ever seen,

it was like a miniature chipolata. Oh, well, we spoke to Peter Andre, didn't we? He's a lovely guy. We didn't ask him about his miniature chipolata. No, no, no. And now she's reached out and apologised. This was years ago. She's like, I'm so sorry.

Can we delete these from the court documents, please, guys? They don't have to be in the court. And why have they come out now? Because some court case is going through. No follow-up questions. Yeah, please don't ask me any follow-up questions. I shouldn't have asked a follow-up question. I don't know.

I'm loosely dusting over what's happening. All I just thought you'd be interested in was this. And I am, but I have questions in was this. And I am, but I have questions. I know. I do too, but I don't know the answers to them. When we spoke to Peter Andre,

he phoned your wife Amanda. Yeah, she's a fan. Oh, she might not be now. Mind you, she's with you. True. And my wife's with me. Us and our little Chippalattas Woke my wife Amanda up

Early in the morning With Peter Andre Calling And she did not believe That it was him Hello Are you asleep still? What is this?

What time is it? Amanda It's Jotter I'm being called Guess who it is Guess who's on the phone still what is this what time is it mandik mandik it's it's jono and ben caught guess who it is guess who's on the phone it's peter andre no it's not it is it's peter andre no it's not no don't kill me i'm sorry don't go it's peter andre it didn't work out so well Not a morning person Sadly Neither of these two

It's Jono and Ben on the hits You'll know him as the host of Survivor New Zealand And Celebrity Treasure Island And a reporter on Sunday He's got a two part doco Talking to Kiwi blokes Who have struggled with their mental health It's called Man Enough

It's on TVNZ1 tonight Matt Chisholm how are you? I am very well Yeah You must be excited about this. I know this is something that is very dear to your heart, this topic, isn't it? Yeah, it is, mate. I never thought I'd

become some kind of poster boy for depression, but a couple of years ago, I struggled a bit mentally and needed to make some changes in my life. As part of that, I put up my hand and said I'm not okay, and I didn't really think a lot about doing that. It just sort of happened. Got myself well and into a good place

and someone at TVNZ said, hey look, we've got a wee gig for you. Do you want to host a show on men's mental health? And I didn't have to think about it for too long because it's something that we need to talk about. And with Kiwi blokes, one bloke is killing themselves every day in this country. Jeez.

And that is far too many. So we need to make some changes. There's something not quite working right, is there? So on your journey to make this two-part doco, ears tonight and next Tuesday as well, what did you discover? Is there a common thread with New Zealand culture? Yeah, there is something wrong with our culture.

You know, you think about the things that you wanted to be growing up in New Zealand as a man it's a lot about being tough and not talking about your emotions we need to change the way we bring up our young boys it's okay to cry perhaps it's okay to talk about your feelings

and be vulnerable on the show you talk to not only people that have been through some struggles but also well known New Zealanders as well you've got the likes of John Key on the show I don't think we talk to John Key to not only people that have been through some struggles but also well-known New Zealanders as well. You've got the likes of John Key on the show. I don't think, we talked to John Key.

I don't, I said, I'm sorry. We talked to John Kirwan. Oh, John Kirwan. I read John Key on there. But they're basically

the same people. Did you get to hang out at John Key's house? Not for this. I'm usually there. I'm usually there. I go and. Can we just say

we all love John Key. We wish he was on the doco. Episode two sees you having lunch with Barack Obama. We understand. Yeah, and that was a bit of a coup to get there. Likes his eggs over easy. Sorry, I don't know where I read that. Yeah, okay, I made that up.

Maybe I made that up. No, that's fine. I'm not sure of that. There's some famous New Zealanders. Not John Key. Not John Key. Now, on the new documentary, it's called Man Enough, tonight on TVNZ1.

Is there one, I suppose there's multiple things you probably picked up along the way, but is there one thing that would spring to mind right now to help out anyone or something that you do or someone else does that may work? Yeah, it's just if you see someone who looks like they're not okay, just step in and say, are you okay, mate? Can I help? Can I listen? You don't have to be an expert. You just have to listen. They might not want to talk that instant, but in a week's time, they

might be in a place where they can ring you up and go, let's go and have a coffee. What was the big thing for you to navigate your way through your depression? Figuring out that I was actually an okay human. I had gone through most of my life thinking that I wasn't a very good man and that I wasn't actually worthy of where I was and what I was doing. And I had to dig pretty deep and work through some stuff. So I had to forgive myself for the things that I'd done and figure out that actually I do care about people and I do add some value. And it's hard to do that. Getting a little bit emotional.

Guys, I don't think this will happen talking to you. No, no, no. It's not going to be what we do. Bring me back. Bring me back. Someone do some pranking or something. And I mean, that's part of the therapy, isn't it? You go to places and you look at yourself

and see parts of yourself you're not that happy with. That's right. And so when I figured out that stuff and realised the way I was behaving, then I could actually go, nah, I don't want to do that. Good on you. Check it out tonight, Man Enough, Matchism tonight, TVNZ1. Thank you so much for doing this

for New Zealand and for families. It's an amazing thing. Thank you so much for allowing me to talk about it and sharing it and promote it because we need to have these conversations. Good on you, man. We need to change. Thanks, boys. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, over the weekend, much like most of

New Zealand, we went out and voted. Something you do, right? God bless New Zealand. Yeah. That's why we live in a democracy, Ben. Yeah. Moments like that. Get free pens. Well, true, free pens. Yeah, great. See nice people in orange vests. And it was, you know, something about voting on the Saturday. There was quite a few people

out and about doing it. And as you said yesterday, it was quite busy on a Saturday, but not crazy busy. And we ran into some people that we know, friends of ours, they have kids at the same school. They were also standing in the line just up the road. And they're on a new TV ad at the moment. I don't know if you've seen it. It's quite a cool ad. It's like a courier ad and there's a cat. And there's like three different families think they own the cat.

And they're all like feeding it and think it's their cat. And then the cat goes missing. They're all going on the street like, where's this cat? They go out looking and then they realise that they have all been feeding the same cat, thinking it's the same cat, and the cat's had kittens and is pregnant and that's why they can't find the cat. So they all get a kitten.

It's a lovely ad. It's a wonderful, and it was a wonderful re-edition, re-edition of the plot line too of the ad. I've never seen it and I know exactly what this ad is. So these people, the dad and the daughter, are on this ad. So we were talking to them about being on the ad because we'd seen them.

We're like, oh, you're on that ad. and chatting in the line and then we went inside and voted and as we left they were still out in the line and I you know thinking personal joke wise obviously these people were on an ad I'm like oh good luck finding your missing cat ha ha ha as I said that loudly and they laughed because it's obviously an ad that's not real but everyone in the line was looking at me like, you monster. Yeah. Because the tone you said it in, like you've taken the cat and hidden it somewhere. Good luck finding your cat.

Your missing cat. And you could just see people look at me like, what is wrong with this guy? As I was taking so much joy out of the fact that I loudly announced to everyone, good luck fighting your missing cat. You got a cat during lockdown. Yes. Cats show no loyalty. Going back to the plot line of this commercial.

You're right. Spread their love all over the show. Yeah, they do. And you give the cat everything. Yeah, you're right. But then they're getting it elsewhere as well. Our cat, people, neighbours will be like, oh, the cat was asleep on our bed. Oh, the cat came in last night and ate this.

The cat's having more fun around the neighbourhood than Chris Warner on Shortland Street, you know? He's up to what? He's in everyone's house. He's in everyone's business. Chris Warner, the older he gets, though, he's having less and less fun. His time in between having fun. So maybe it's like a cat.

I don't know. Does that happen or not? Do you like patting cats? I do, actually. I get quite rashy around them. They excrete like a certain oil that makes me all red and dotty. Okay. Like a farmer's red dot sale.

No, I do enjoy that. But then cats are so, like, our cat, he never wants to stick around. You're like, how's it going? You know, if you've got food, he's like, yeah, I love you. Best friend. And then he's like, all right, see you later. Yeah. The dog, however, the dog loves you.

Every time you see your dog, it's like the dog's seen you, met you for the first time. Oh, no. It's like, yeah, you're back. You silly dog. You know me for years. Do the cat and the dog get along? Yeah, a little bit.

They kind of play fight. It's quite cute. They sort of play fight, like sort of, you know, like, I mean, if it was a UFC fight, you'd be like, give me my money back. This is really nice. There's not much happening here. An exhibition match between two amateurs. But as far as two pets and animals go, it's like, oh, this is nice.

You can make a funny Disney movie about them and their quirky adventures, their wild adventures. Yeah, cool. But then the dog gets very protective as well. The cat jumps on the bed and the dog, or jumps on the bench and the dog's like, it's like Paw Patrol in the house. He's like taking care of everything. It's alright, mate.

We've got this. It's fine. Because I always hear about your dog, you just never speak of the cat. Well, the cat's like your embarrassing kid. We don't mention a bit about the cat. Your wayward child who went off the rails. It's like me to my family. After seven o'clock on the show, speaking of dogs,

we're going to speak to someone from our new TV show, Dog Almighty. You might have seen it last night. Rachel, she owns a three-legged dog, and this dog is amazing. What this dog can do with three legs is... More than I can do with my legs. Yeah. But, you know, it's actually got one more leg than me. Yeah. Yeah. If I had a third leg's actually got one more leg than me. Yeah.

Yeah. If I had a third leg, it'd be doing better than me. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. That kind of made sense. Start your day

the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Whether you love them or hate them,

you're going to have to sit there for three minutes and grin and bear them. It's all your favourite celebrities and most hated ones, presented by producer Juliet with Spy. Thanks very much. Now, Phil Collins, old mate Phil Collins,

he is going through a bit of a... Judith Collins, Bella? Yeah. That would make sense. He's offering his condolences to the National Party. Yeah. So currently he's going through a bit of a split with his third wife and it was accused that she

it was said that she broke up with him via text message and I was reading about this and it turns out that back in the day with his second wife, he was accused of breaking up with her via fax machine. Oh listen, we should just, I mean he's 69 years old, we should be stoked he's texting.

Yeah. That's a bonus. True. Because he is a bit of a boomer, right? I suppose he didn't do it on Zoom, but the whole thing was on mute. So she didn't actually know what he was saying. I'm breaking up. I can't hear you. Fax machine.

It'd be an interesting way to get broken up by, wouldn't it? It's just the only way to make breaking up with someone more painful and slow. What was the fax? What does it say? I actually remember back when I was year six, I had a year six boyfriend, and it was email, hotmail was the thing. Everyone had hotmail.

And I knew that he was trying to break up with me via email, but I just refused to look at the email. And so every day he'd come to school and be like, hey, have you checked your emails yet? And I'm like, oh no, I haven't, sorry. Just not letting him break up with me. That's a good play. And technically you still haven't read that email,

so you're still dating her. He's now married with a family. But yeah, you're still going out. I used to, at school, have three-way calling. And I convinced my parents to get this function. And I would break up for people while they would listen on the other line. Or I'd also find out intel about people

if they were two-timing. And they'd listen silently on that. The heartbreak kid I was called. Well, that's what you said. It was a brand. It was a brand. Not much of a brand. Has that kid got a high cholesterol diet?

Were you one of the few to have the three-way calling? Yeah. Is that why you were the chosen one in that department? I was just used, really. People were like, can you three-way call Juliet? I want to just see if she's hooking up with little Benny. Not that that's happening in the workplace. This was just a fictitious situation.

Right. Okay. Moving on. And Sam Smith, speaking of dating as well, Sam Smith was banned from a dating app called Hinge, which is one of the many that you can go on, because the people of Hinge thought that it was someone else using Sam's photos catfishing,

but it was actually Sam Smith all along. And he's like, oh, my gosh, well, why can't I go on Hinge? That must be happened to a lot of famous people, though, wouldn't it? Oh, true. You wouldn't be like, oh, damn, look at this. I've got Vin Diesel here. I don't know why I chose him and why he's on a dating app. But, you know, as an example, you would never believe it was the celebrity.

No, that's right. Wait, I'm pretty sure, and I don't know if this is completely correct, but I'm pretty sure Drew Barrymore went on a dating app. And I think there might have been one sort of specific for celebrities or she came across a lot of celebrities on the app. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, sign me up to this app. I want to date someone who's famous. You wouldn't want to lie about your name as well, because people go, oh, you're lying.

Yeah, but then at the same time, saying your name, if you were Drew Barrymore, it'd be like, oh, Drew Barrymore. In your group of friends, is it unusual for someone to meet a boyfriend in a bar now? Is it all over dating apps? It's actually pretty 50-50, I'd say. Like, still mutual friends meet up and that's how you meet and then some people

meet their partners from dating apps. But it's probably going in the dating app. It's going that way, I think. So your friend was like, we're in a few Tinder profiles, aren't we, with people that we've had photos with. And if there's one way to make your Tinder account bleaker...

Oh, put a photo with us in there. Put a photo with us. Your insights are going to shoot way down. No one is swiping for that. No, not at all. Damn it, damn it. Well, maybe I should take off the fact that I work with Jono and Ben online. That's why you get no hits, mate.

And just don't check that hotmail. No, no, I won't. And that is Spy for More. You can go to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We'd like to wrap up the show with this.

Hey, feeling good? Why is it going to be a good day? Loved here from you on 0800 The Hits. You know, I'm in the midst of helping Poppy, my youngest, plan a party. I know you're doing the same, birthday parties. Kids have very low expectations, don't they, when it comes to... I mean, you could put them in a sewage treatment plant with a bowl of exploded Cheerios and they'd have a fun time, wouldn't they?

They do have a fun time, but no, I find the plans get bigger and longer and all sorts of stuff. The runway into the party. Yeah, it's like, what are these people and this thing? Oh, God. I mean, there was a time you'd leave them with two pats of cigarettes, and now that was a party, wasn't it? The kids used to love those back in the day.

Now it's like you at Rhythm and Vines. It used to be like one night. Now it's like three nights. It's a bonanza. It just keeps going, right? It really is a full bender. Yeah. Just keeps going.

So one of the jobs I got to do is she's got all these boxes. They were actually the boxes from the golf balls we used in Lake Taupo. Oh, yeah. And she wants to spray paint them. Probably wants to spray paint them with different colours so she can put chocolates in them for her friends. So I've been up, I was up till midnight last night, spray painting cardboard boxes in an enclosed space.

Oh, yeah. And what you don't realise is paint fumes really catch up with you after an hour and a half. They do, they do. You start to see things and think things. They sort of sneak up on you, right? They do, yeah. So if I'm a little unusual today, Ben Boyce,

and there's glue all around my mouth and spray paint on my nose, you'll know why. That was a lovely thing he was doing for his family. Why is it going to be a good day? We'd love to hear from you. 0800 The Hits, let's get the day started positively for New Zealand. We'll go to Patrick in New Plymouth. It's going to be a good day.

Why, Patrick? I get to hopefully see my stepdaughter do her jazz dance exam today. Oh. She's pretty excited. That's awesome. Yeah, no, it's a lot of practices going into it, so she's stressed out a little bit,

but it'll hopefully be worth it. Oh, good. I imagine you spend a lot of time waiting at the dance studio Ben Boyce you were complaining a two hour tear to two hour wait

at the gym didn't you the gymnastics lesson the other night so that was a long haul for me also my daughter who was doing the physical activity

but a longer haul for you yeah I mean yeah jeez but anyway so this is positive so $20 health pizza coming your way and all the best for today.

I hope it goes great. Awesome. Cheers, mate. Have a good one, eh? Thank you, Patrick. We'll head to Nicole in Pocono. How are you, Nicole? Hi.

Good, thanks, and you? It's good. It's going to be a good day. Why, for you? Yeah, one of my closest friends is leaving next week, but we're catching up for coffee today. So it's going to be a good day because I can't wait for that. RIP your friend.

Well, no, she's not leaving. She's just leaving. Yeah. LIP, leave in peace. Okay, let's not try and make up. Let's just say, you guys have a great coffee. We'll get you some hell pizza. And eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

That's right. It's a great day. Let's head to Hamilton. We'll talk to Valda. You're on the air. Valda, how are you the air, Valda. How are you? Well, thank you.

Oh, and what are you off to today? What are you doing? Why is it going to be a good day for you, Valda? Oh, it's going to be a great day because I'm picking up a group of ladies and we're going to 60 plus education. How old are you? You must be 60 plus. Oh, Valda.

Why are you listening to us? You must hate us. Oh, no. I love listening to you. You're great. Oh, that's very kind of you, Felda. We really appreciate it. You have a great day.

What are you doing today? Going to 60-plus adult education. Adult education? Sounds saucy. A bit too old to learn. Too old to learn. What are you going to learn about today? I'm not sure because sometimes they change it.

When you get there, it's a different subject. So I don't really take too much notice. I just go. You just go sit there and hear them speak words. Thank you. Have a great day. We're going to give you a whole pizza voucher. We really appreciate you listening.

And we'll take one more. Tony's on the air. Why is it going to be a good day for you, Tony? Because you guys have put me in a good mood with your continual advocacy for mental health. Having Matt on the show this morning was just uplifting as. Oh he was really great. If you missed it this morning check it out on the podcast

Matt Chisholm he's got a show tonight on TVNZ on 1 at 8.30 tonight it's called Man Enough. It's a really amazing thing he's doing and I think we should be talking more about these sorts of things. Hey good on you Tony. We'll give you a $20 held pizza voucher you go and have a wonderful Tuesday. Cheers, guys.

Tomorrow on the show, Jimmy Barnes joins us and don't forget, you can win $500 by watching Dog Almighty tonight. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.

Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.