Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 27 - We've Acquired A Company Credit Card, Cori Gonzales, Your Shortest Engagements

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

How gooooood is going to work on a Tuesday when it feels like a Monday!? Hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend. Something wonderful happened to us this morning. A few weeks ago Jono put a request in for a company credit card as a bit of a joke, not expecting anything from it. But one arrived for us today! So we sent Millennial Max off to see if there was any money on it. Ben also got recognised at the supermarket over the weekend but not as he would have liked. Finally, we wanted to know if anyone could beat Zac Efron - he is now engaged to his Australian girlfriend after only 3 months, but has anyone got engaged any quicker? ENJOY!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Here we go. I'm shooting off home a bit earlier today.

Sick children, you know. Yeah. There was a time where you could send your kids off to school sick, you know, and they could, it was adversity. And it would build character. Not nowadays. Not now. I imagine kids, I'm not saying in this occasion that that's anything,

but, you know, there'd be kids, like, playing up to that, knowing that, you know. I know. I'm sure there's employees playing up to it. Oh, I've got a bit of a snotty nose. Stay at home. You're never going to question it are you? Not now Not now

If anything You know when anyone sneezes in the office We lock them up We burn them Don't we like witches Chase them out of the office With pitchforks It used to be like a badge of honour

Didn't it? You're like I haven't had a day off in five years And I've worked Now you're like Go home mate No one wants you here So you've got a sniffle

It's like get out I need a lung transplant. Look, I've lost my arm. I'm still at work, mate. You know a guy who works in your local dairy. He hasn't had a day off in, what, 20 years? Yeah, it was a long time or whatever it was. I think he has done since.

Other people have looked after the place. But it was a long time, and that's what happens. I don't think people should feel guilty about taking a day off. Not now, you know, particularly. Yeah, you deserve it, you know. It's not all about work. And if anything lockdown taught us is you can operate from home. Zoom technology.

It's amazing, isn't it? But yeah, we should do that tomorrow on the show. The person who's worked the longest without a day off. Oh, that's a good idea. That's a good topic. This is what we'd usually discuss in a meeting. Yeah, it's a nice one. If we can't get in tomorrow, We'll get in later in the week

Yeah Shall I write that down In my notes Who hasn't had The longest day Okay let's have a competition Who can come up with The funnest radio topic

On the spot Oh Okay Alright The weirdest present You've got given actually I was thinking about that I got sent something

From my dad I was actually going to Oh you're bringing it out here But it needs to be plugged in. Oh, okay. But, um... Is this NSFW? No, it's...

Well, it's just like this. Oh, what is it? Oh, so like a little leaf blower? Yeah. Oh, so why did he give you that? Oh, is it for your keyboard? Exactly. Ah!

Why did he give me this? No, blow the dust off your keyboard. Well, no, as I say, it needs to be charged through a USB thing So when we do it on radio It's like your stock standard leaf blower You'd see at a Bunnings warehouse Orange and black If you like a gentle breeze

For blowing your dust off your keyboard I mean it's I can go Or I can go... Or I can get this out and plug it into the USB. Was this a birthday present? It was a present. It was just like, hey, I thought of you.

It might have been a birthday. It was my birthday. Yeah, I was like, yeah, so there you go. So we'll do that at some stage. It's very novel. Novelty, isn't it? I don't know. I want to know Dad's thought.

He was in the shop. He's like, oh store oh yeah tell you what Ben would love that the amount of stuff he loves blowing off he loves blowing

away I'm going to give this to him anyway well that's a really good phone talk with most unusual gifts

you got given it just reminded me of that yeah yeah okay well we'll do that as well as the people

who have worked non-stop the longest, okay? That's been a great brainstorm. Yeah, anyway, there's a great podcast as well, all right? The radio version of Morning Breath.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Something arrived today. Just, yeah, what a start to the week. Hadn't planned on this. Well, no, I didn't actually realise

you'd done this. So a few weeks ago there had been sort of like an email sent around various departments in the company saying if you need a new updated credit card, if your company card's expiring, or if you in fact need a card, you think you do,

just reply back to the email. Now, you replied back. Oh yeah, so I was like oh, we would love a credit card. I don't know. I felt like a bit of a reckless email to send out, but anyway. Yeah, well, you thought love a credit card. I don't know. I felt like a bit of a reckless email to send out. But anyway. Yeah, well, you thought there'd be some stringent checks. They'll go, yeah, all right, you're dreaming, mate.

John Owen Ben don't need a credit card. Had no correspondence since my reply. And next thing you know, two weeks later, a credit card's turned up. Look at this. So there's a little courier bag in here. There's a little, we've got an ANZ card here as well, a credit card. It's got John Owen Ben written on the card, a company card. We've got information aboutZ card here as well, credit card. It's got Jono and Ben written on the card, a company card.

We've got information about a Visa company card and some corporate credit card policy stuff. But I haven't read that stuff. I'm not going to read that. All I know right now is in my hand, we have a credit card. Yeah, this is for show related expenses

though I'd like to stipulate. It's not just for you to frivolously spend at Westfield. Do you know what we could spend on it? Like, I don't even know if it's got a max limit. I don't know how much is on it. Like I say, there was no sort of criteria about it. I was just like, yeah, we would like a credit card.

I've never had a company card. Have you? No, I've never had a company card. I don't know how deep into the financial black hole this thing goes. But I think it would be wise that we send out Max, Millennial Max, to go and test it. Max out the credit card. How do you feel about credit card fraud, Max? Thumbs up.

He agrees. He loves it. Okay. Oh, yeah, we should just test it, just see if it works today. Just test it. Because if it does work, then I think we just go wild. Just go wild. It's buying stuff for everyone listening.

That's what I'm pitching. But that's further down the track. Today, just a simple coffee. You know, there's going to be repercussions. There is. But right now, I'm excited about seeing what we can do. Well, there'll be a limit on it. They'll know that, okay, well, this is probably, once it's gone,

I dare say we won't get another one. Yeah, true. We're here for a... Much like this contract on this radio show. Once it's gone... We're here for a short time. Not a long time. Good time, not a long time. Yeah, exactly. We're here for a... Much like this contract in this radio show. What's that, Scott? We're here for a short time. Not a long time. Good time, not a long time.

Yeah, exactly. That's right. And so while we're here, we may as well send the company into a financial pitfall. Okay. Max, we'll send him out after 8 o'clock, go and shout coffees for an entire cafe with the credit card. See if it works.

See if it works. Okay. And when it ends, it ends. Okay? All right, we'll find out today. Our company card. this is very exciting. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending.

It's Jorgo and Mano Mahec. Dog Almighty is a new TV show that we're hosting on TVNZ2, and you had an incident, you were saying the other day, where you went to a supermarket and you got harassed by a small child. Hey, you eat dog food. You eat dog. And I was like, what? You didn't realise it was on a promo for Dog Almighty at the time.

Yeah, so this is a random sledge I'm getting from a four-year-old. We're used to getting sledged in public. So after the last week's, the first episode of Dog Almighty played, it was probably a day or two afterwards, I went to the supermarket. I've heard of the supermarket. Yeah, and I was in the checkout line and the lady behind the counter, she got quite excited. She was like, oh my God, it's you. It's the guy off the TV. And I was like, oh, hey, how's it going? You know, it's nice to be, you know,

recognised. But then she was like, she just kept going. And then she would, she pointed out to the other people in the line with me. She's like, do you know who this is? It's the guy. And then they're like, uh. Yeah, that scene where they look, I they look my life no i have no idea see you can't it puts them in a difficult position too because they don't want to hurt your feelings but they also are like oh i've just been dragged into this by the check out operator this guy is just like oh the guy of the tv is he's on the tv i'm like hey how you doing no nice nice you know it became quite a big scene quite a scene and hello shoppers check out number three

we're the celebrity come and see the celebrity yeah well yeah she mentioned she was like you're the guy off the TV

and I was like hey yeah hey how's it going and then the awkward conversation with people next to me who had no idea who they were

so I went on my way and so what are you saying in that situation were they like who are you you're a real estate agent on a TV show hey how's it going

nice to see you. And so then I went back to that same supermarket over the weekend and I saw the lady and she was back on the checkout. Uh-oh.

And I was like, oh, maybe I'll go, maybe I'll give that a miss. Maybe today's not the day to be, you know, like to be here.

Hey, here's the guy off TV. Oh, you're wearing your weekend stuff. You're feeling a little bit hung over, that sort of thing. Yeah, you're right.

You know, so I went to the aisle next to hers, you know, the checkout aisle. And as I got to, you're wearing your weekend stuff, you're feeling a little bit hungover, that sort of thing. Yeah, you're right. So I went to the aisle next to hers, the checkout aisle, and as I got to get my thing through, she turned around and I was like, she's noticed you from across two checkouts away. I know, she said to the person that was serving me, do you know who you've got

in the checkout? And they again looked at like, no. The guy off the TV. Can we not play this game again? Please. And this guy on the TV, I was like, oh yeah, hey, I. The guy off the TV. Can we not play this game again? Please. And this guy on the TV, I was like, oh, yeah, hey, I'm the guy off the TV. And then she was like, it's Jeremy Wells. Oh, Jeremy Wells.

And I was like, oh, no one said Jeremy Wells before. I was like, yes, it is Jeremy Wells. Jeremy Wells, ladies and gentlemen. I'll take this. At that moment, he shoplifted everything. And the stuffy, he's done petrol. He's done runners from petrol stations So thank you Jeremy Wells

Yeah you've got a lot of Warrants for your arrest around town Are out and about now But thank you It was nice Nice trading off Jeremy Wells Yeah that's good You're nowhere near as

No no I won't say anything What were you going to say? No no I wasn't going to say anything What were you going to say? Oh you know I won't say it I won't say it This is a fun nice show With positive vibes Ben This is what we're about know. I won't say it. I won't say it. This is a fun, nice show with positive vibes, Ben.

This is what we're about. Okay? So I won't say it. Okay. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, this morning, something very exciting arrived for us in the post here at work. We spoke about this just after seven.

You replied to a company email saying, do we need, well, you know, I don't know why we're on this email. No, it was a few people on the email. I felt I might've been CC'd by mistake, but I took full advantage of it. And it was sort of saying, does anyone need to update, renew, or either apply for a company credit card for,

you know, costs related to the business. Business expenses. Yeah, we're talking about wild lunches, wild Uber rides. I'm flailing my arms around. Why does it have to be wild Uber? It's just someone has to drive erratically. Wolf of Wall Street sort of stuff. This is what I'm expecting.

So anyway, I was like, yeah, no, I'd love one. We'd love a company card. Not thinking anything of it. And it arrived today in a little courier post package to us at NZME. We've got a card, a company card. There we go. With our names on it. I've never had a company card before.

I don't know how it works. Do you feel more powerful? I do. Yeah, you look more powerful. I thought I'd want to have a wild lunch somewhere. Yeah, you get there in a wild Uber ride. You look more, you've got an air of power about you. Like I can pay for anything.

Sort of Trump-esque. Very powerful individual. So what we want to do is A, test it, see if there's any money on it because they might have just sent it to us with a zero credit limit on it. And so we've sent out Millennial Max to literally max out the credit card. Max, come on in.

Did you get it, Max? Good morning. Because your name's Max and John, I said max out the card. I've got the card, guys. He's ignoring you He's ignoring our joke and you How are you Max? Great One thing I know about Max is he loves being out and about In the past we've seen him

through a McDonald's drive through which he felt very guilty about in a golf cart Yes And he loves chat That's the other thing we know about Max Max has given us nothing. Max, are you ready to max out the card? Absolutely, I am.

Okay, so Max is in a... He doesn't sound ready, eh? No, because he's in a crowd of people. He doesn't want to make a scene. On the radio with John and Ben. I'm with someone right now, guys. Who are you with? Jenny.

Oh, Jenny. Check Jenny on. I'll put Jenny on. Max is like, I don't want to talk to them. Good morning. Hello, Jenny. It Jenny on. I'll put Jenny on. Max is like, I don't want to talk to them. Good morning. Hello, Jenny. It's Jono and Ben here on The Hits. Hi. Hey, we've got a company card. We've never had a company card before, so we're

checking if it works. We're going to get a coffee for us. Would you like us to pay for a coffee for you? I'd love a coffee. Would you like a brioche? No, thanks. Okay. I don't know what else would be in a cafe. Would you like a panini? No, it's a beautiful blueberry muffin, but, you know, I'm trying to...

Get one of those. It's on us. It's on us. It's okay. I'm trying to get in shape for some of you. Oh, okay. I'm trying to shove blueberry muffins down your mouth. Okay.

All right. Well, you order a coffee or whatever you're going to order, and we'll see if the card goes through. Okay. Okay. What are you going to get? I'm getting a soy flat white. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, get you that blueberry muffin get? I'm getting a soy flat white. Oh, okay.

All right. Yeah, can you do that blueberry muff? It's sitting there if you want it. No, no. I'll think about it. Okay, no, she's good. Good on you, Jenny. All right, let's see if it goes through.

Max. Max. Yes, I'm back. I'm back on the phone, guys. Max. Max. Max. We don't really know what's going on, Max.

I'm paying for it right now, guys. Okay. And? I can hear the Air Force machine. Okay. Accepted. It's accepted. It's accepted.

Do we need to keep a receipt? I don't know how things work in this, but we've got copies. I've got the receipt. Oh, Max, this is a great day. This is great. There's money on the card. Do I know how much? 0800 the hits. What do you want? Let's go to the phones, Juliet.

We'll see what this person wants from the cafe. How's that going to work? You can't send them out the muffin. Oh, yeah, true, true. You've got too excited. I didn't think that through. How's that going to work? True. Oh, this is a very, very exciting day here on the Hits.

Well, we might have to get this card out and about and pay for some stuff, I guess. Right? Yeah, I'm on board with that. Yeah, all right. Stick around. Or we could not and sensibly put it away in the drawer for when we need to buy something.

Yeah, I know, but we've got a company card. This is exciting. You can win some stuff this week thanks to us. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we're just saying what a wonderful weekend it was.

Weren't those three days fantastic? We're so good to have that every weekend. I know that's not an option, but hey, it's nice to have a three-day weekend, isn't it? Some businesses do it. Some people get the same amount of work done in a four-day work week than they do in a five. Right. People work harder for their employer if they in a four-day work week than they do in a five. Right. People work harder for their employer if they do a three-day weekend.

And I'm not saying that I would work harder for our CEO, Bogsy. We couldn't work any harder, right? That's right. But I'd double my hardness just to get that third day off. But no, it was lovely, wasn't it? Wonderful across the country.

But it wasn't all rays of sunshine in my world over the weekend, Ben. Oh, really? Where Jennifer, my lovely wife, she dropped a bombshell over the phone as well. It was a phone bombshell. And it's something I have been doing for years that drives her up the wall. When we have a conversation, I don't hang up the phone once I say goodbye. I don't like hanging up.

It's just not, I don't know. I leave it to the other person. Oh, right. Yeah. I'm not a hanger-upperer. You might notice this when you have a phone combo. Yeah, he's sort of lurking around.

I'm like, I like to know what... I like to know what... I'm like, oh, bloody Jono. That was Jono. Oh, yeah. I just like to know

what else I could hear on the other end. Bye. I just sit there in silence. Who was that? Oh, yeah, Jono again. Oh, sorry. You hear that sort of conversation going on.

But now it's become like a standoff between her and me because she's like, well, I'm not going to hang up and I'm not hanging up. So then we just sit there in silence. I can still see the number ticking over on her. I know she's still there. She knows I'm still there. But out of pure, just a standpoint,

she wants me to do the hanging up. But I've said, I've never hung up. Why do I have to change my pattern? Why don't you like hanging up? I don't know. I've just never hung up. I like hanging up. I'm like, conversation done.

Sometimes Amanda's like, anyway, yep, we're good. I've already got in the process of hanging up. I'm like, I'll have to ring back because she was halfway through. You're too quick. Don't forget about that. I'm like, gone. We're done. We're done.

We're moving on. I'm not a phone person. I don't like talking on the phone. No, and when you do talk on the phone, you just wander around. I pace around a little bit. And then I'm like, all right, we're done. This is the point. So I get to the point.

What's the thing? It's more like a text. It's like, that's what you want to know. I can reply back. It's all done. This is why he hasn't spoken to his mum in three months. The only way he communicates with Jenny is when he pranks her on the radio. And at the end of her,

he's like, I might call you soon. She's like, you never call, bye. She's still talking. I love you, hang up on her. Oh, she had something else to say. I wonder what that was.

You'll never know. Text me. Text me. If you want to tell me you love me, text me. Send me an emoji or something. I might get the thumbs up back or something. So we're at opposite ends of the scale.

You like a combo, don't you? But is there anything you've done over the years that annoys? Oh, yeah, lots of stuff. Hey, hanging up halfway through conversations. We'll put that on the list. Don't forget, oh, I've hung up. Oh, no, I mean, we've talked about this before. I pile stuff up.

Like, I like just to tidy stuff up and I'll put things away. But often our bills that need to be paid, I'll just pile them up like I like just to tidy stuff up and I'll put things away but often our bills that need to be paid I'll just pile them up and put them away in the cupboard he's just got mounds of stuff all over the house

Amanda will be like we didn't pay that bill and I'll be like oh you're probably in the cupboard where I just sort of tidy stuff away and piles

you had a mound of washing that piled up over two months yeah I did that's how much he loves big mounds yeah and maybe

just the gum oh the other thing was the gum I chewed the same gum every day and Amanda took like probably six or seven years to tell me that she hated the smell of it. It was hard to swallow.

The bombshell and the gum. You shouldn't swallow chewing gum. That's what they say, right? Well, there we go. That was a fun little chat, wasn't it? There we go. Still hanging around, are you? Still, yeah, I'm still here.

When are you going to hang up on this? I'm trying to hang up on it. Next, we talked about this earlier, Zac Efron, three months was it, Producer Juliet, from going out with a lady, going around with someone, to engagement?

Yes. And we wanted to know, on 0800 THE HITS, did you get engaged quicker than that? We'd love to hear from you this morning on New Zealand's Breakfast. Let's go to the phone. Shortest engagements,

can you beat Zac Efron's three months? Cheryl, you're on from Rotorua. How long, mate? So I only knew my husband-to-be for three weeks and then got engaged. And then we got married nine months later. Wow, that's a quick turnaround. What was the

vibes from friends and family after a three-week engagement? The worst thing was I thought I was going to get married to someone else like an ex. Oh, really? So how did you know he was the one for you? What made you go?

I fell over his mate's foot in a bar and, yeah, just ended up talking to him one night and then went home, talking to my father. I was 18 and he said, oh, he'll want to get married. Be careful because he was 27. I said, nah, not getting married at 18. And bang, got married straight after I turned 19. Wow, three weeks later. And how long have you been married?

No, I was married for 19 years or three weeks before our 19th wedding anniversary, but he died. So that sort of solved that problem. Well, not solved it, but, you know. 19 years. Sorry to hear that he passed away. Well, it's just how life is, isn't it? 19 years is an amazing effort, though. That's great.

Yeah, yeah. So he's a good guy. Oh, lovely, lovely. Thank you for sharing your story. We really do appreciate it, Cheryl. Hold the line. We're going to send you out something. We really do appreciate you calling us this morning.

Let's hit to Matamata. Chantel's on the air. Shortest engagement, Chantel. How long? Oh, yeah. We knew each other for a month, and then my husband proposed, and we got married six months later, December,

so coming up on 12 years now. Why did you say yes? After a month? It just seems so short. To be honest, I thought I was punching above my weight, but there was some love there, and then three months later, we moved to New Zealand. Oh that's awesome. I've got the same thing with my wife. I feel like she's just doing it for charity or something.

I think there was something there so we still do. Good on you Chantelle and we'll head to Jane in Wellington. You're on the air, oh no sorry with Trevor in Taranaki. Sorry. Welcome, Trevor. How are you? I'm good, thank you. Shortest engagements? Me and my wife were friends for about 22 years, and we got together, and two days later I proposed. Jeez.

I suppose you had the friendship lead, and you knew what you were getting into, but two days. We've got a new winner here. And did you get divorced five days later? That afternoon. No, we celebrated our 10-year winning anniversary three weeks ago. Oh, listen to these stories, Ben.

So lovely. This is why we come to work every day, mate. Heartfelt stuff like this. It is lovely. Thank you for sharing with us in New Zealand this morning. We appreciate it. Thank you. Good on you. We may as well take Jane. Jane, you're in Wellington. Shortest engagements. How long was it, matey?

It was, we met and married within eight weeks. And how many years have you been married? 24 and a half. 24 and a half. There we go. God, I want someone to phone up and go, we got engaged after a day and it ended up in a bitter divorce about three years later.

There's plenty of those. Plenty of those. Yeah, there are plenty of those out there, but not on this positive radio show, Jono. No, no, we hang up on those callers. Don't bring those negative vibes on this show. Hey, good on you, Jane. You have a wonderful Tuesday.

Okay, cheers. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Monday and Tuesday night on TVNZ2 at 7.30. It's our new reality TV show. The dogs do most of the hard work, don't they? The dogs are amazing.

It's a reality show looking for New Zealand's most talented dog. $100,000 is the price money. And all we get sent now is dog-related products. You just send a big sack of dog food. Yeah. I cured my fleas and worms over the weekend, got sent a pack of some pills to take for that on Friday. That was good.

I'm wearing a collar just because I got sent it for free. All dog-related merch now. We're the dog guys. I see why Mark Lexman was probably there a few years ago. I don't even own a dog, but I'm using all the product. Well, I do, so I appreciate the product. But on the show, one of our favourite people we met was Wendy, who travels around New Zealand in her camper van

and just goes to dog agility competitions everywhere she goes. Yeah, loved Wendy. Wendy's one of those people who I don't think realised she was on television. You know, she just turns up and does what Wendy does. She was great. She had no idea who we are. It was so funny. I'm trying to work out who you two are because I never heard of you two before. You meant to be famous, but I'm sorry.

Oh, Wendy, listen, enough of the savage roasting. Sadly, last night, Wendy was eliminated from Dog Almighty, but we're very happy to have her on the phone right now. How are you, Wendy? I'm pretty good, thank you, and I know who you are today. Well, that was the big thing. That was one of your main concerns coming on Dog Almighty, is you didn't know who we are.

And fair enough. No, I do know. I was actually taking the mickle. But no, nice to meet you again. And yeah, delightful. Lovely. That is delightful. It's delightful to meet you again, Wendy.

Wendy, I mean, we're not meant to have favourites because we loved everyone. But you were one of our favourites, Wendy. Oh, yeah. Well we're not meant to have favourites because we loved everyone, but you were one of our favourites, Wendy. Oh, yeah. Well, I say that to everybody when I'm teaching technology in Blenheim, but, yeah, you're allowed to have favourites, and I've got a favourite poodle too. No, you do have a favourite poodle. I loved how one of your major concerns about the programme was in the hot seat segment,

which was the hot seat eliminator. Your major concern was the seat you were sitting on. There's your dog in the background there. Is that Crystal May? Yeah, that's Crystal May barking at a neighbour. Sorry, you've got that on your radio thing, I suppose. Yeah, on the old radio thing, so we've got it all. Sorry about that.

That's all right. We're away in our motorhome and we're staying in a camp. Okay, the conversation just goes where it goes with Wendy. Like a motor camp tour of New Zealand. Whereabouts are you staying? I'm at Rangiora. I'm waiting to go into another agility show this afternoon at Mandeville. Oh, Rangiora, North Canterbury.

Yeah, so I've just done my Mardash Burton. Now I'm going there. So, yeah, I really want to put it out there just how good this agility is for older people. Well, it's good. You were really impressive running around. I mean, Crystal May is amazing as well, but you were just really impressive running around the course. It must keep you fit. Yeah, I'm 70 in a few days' time, so I'm not doing too bad, am I?

No, you're doing fantastic. You're like the Usain Bolt of dog agility. You know what? One of the most common comments that I've had over the last couple of days was how special your relationship is with your dogs. Yeah, they're very special. I would have liked to elaborate a wee bit more on the journey that I've been on with my life. And, yeah, I'm really open to that because dogs, you know,

they do everything for human beings. And people underestimate the mental health that you can get from a dog. It's amazing. Oh, you're right. And they never judge. Dogs won't judge you. Now, what sort of tricks can Crystal do? Like, because she hops in a pram, right?

Well, actually, isn't it a shame? I was actually, I had a nasty incident at the hospital with my eye injections that I have every four weeks and couldn't do much training before the shame. I had a nasty incident at the hospital with my eye injections that I have every four weeks and couldn't do much training before the show and honestly we didn't do a trick not even one trick before I found out we had to do tricks. Are your eyeballs injected?

I hate eyeballs. Yeah, every four weeks I've got macular degeneration and I actually drove up to Auckland with only one well, half an eye really The NZTA will be happy to hear that No I got two assessments

one from my I'm fine to drive I got them from the eye specialist in the hospital so I was pretty well covered because I needed a bit more insurance. She drove legally blind from Nelson to Auckland, couldn't see a thing and made it. Can I just say how wonderful all the

crew was there and I couldn't have done this without the support of all that crew that did all that filming and... No, but you were amazing Wendy. We really did love meeting you and seeing your close bond and relationship you have with Crystal May. It was great to see. Can I just tell you everybody, I've just

actually vacuumed my sheets because they were bathed yesterday and they were lovely and clean, so all four of them got to spend the night in my motorhome, queen bed at the back of the motorhome, but I've got microfibre sheets on them, so any little bit of grass that I've picked up ends up in my bed.

Can I just tell everybody I'm vacuuming my sheets? Well, you can and you did. Four dogs in a motorhome, yeah. You're crazy with that, are you, to vacuum your sheets? Let us hear the vacuum cleaner, Wendy. Okay, hang on a minute, three seconds. It's a little wee vacuum cleaner. Okay, so we're now doing the carpet.

Oh, we're live vacuuming Wendy's camper van here. Wendy, you're awesome. Oh, you've got to have fun in life. It's only so short, isn't it? Oh, well, you're a very special person, Wendy, and a great New Zealander. It was an honour to meet you. Honour to meet you and Crystal May. And listen, we wish

you all the best. Oh, thanks very much. You know, it was a real blast. I'm actually looking for another show to do. I was thinking I was wondering how I'd go on Married at First Sight. Yeah, get her on there. I reckon we should put you on The Bachelorette, Wendy. Yeah, that would be fun.

That would be cool. But who would take on four poodles? You need to fall in love with Wendy and her four dogs. There's only one regret I had, Jono and Ben. What's that? One serious regret

that I didn't hand Crystal to you because she's a therapy dog for canine friends, pet therapy, and if you had held her for two seconds, you would have fallen in love with her. She's just such a honey. Yeah, she is. And you're a honey too, Wendy.

Oh, thank you. That's awesome. Oh, Wendy, so nice to talk to you again. You take care of yourself, and hopefully we'll see you soon. Yeah, yeah, just ring another show in, and that'll be perfect. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the Hits. Now, we were talking about this earlier, the US election is

next week and there's been rumours that Melania Trump is, well, they've been using a body double for her. For many years though, this has been something about we've spoken about before and up until now it has been, this is not a joke, it's been a guy in a wig dressed as Melania Trump

and sort of stands, you know, three or four metres behind Donald in the background hoping that no one will notice that it's not Melania. With sunglasses on and stuff like that. It's like they made no real attempt, though. No, you can see his stubble and his Adam's apple. It's like, you know, when you go to a fun drag show, it's like it would be the drag version of Melania. It'd be like Melania

Pump or something. Now, at the moment, there's new rumours, fresh rumours going around that there's a body double of Melania Trump and there's a lady waving in the chopper in the helicopter next to the President and they've analysed her teeth, they've analysed her smile and

it's not quite the same as Melania Trump's, right? Completely different teeth. The nose is completely different. But I don't know why they go to all this effort. Like, if she's at home, she's clearing some emails or something, just go, she couldn't make it. Doing some admin, doing some online shopping. Couldn't be here today.

You know, it's kind of, I really appreciate the commitment they have to giving off the perception that Melania is always around Donald. She's probably at home going, help me. I'm kidding. Please send help. They're afraid if she gets in front of a camera. She'll be like, I don't really like him. Please.

Yeah. So we wanted to know this morning on 0800 The Hits, is there a celebrity that you look like? Have you been confused for a celebrity before? Have you used this to your advantage? Wonderful topic for radio. Do you is there a celebrity that you look like? Have you been confused for a celebrity before? Have you used this to your advantage? Wonderful topic for radio. Do you look like... We'll take your word for it.

You're true. Why didn't you bring this up when we talked about it five minutes ago? I look like Chris Hemsworth. Okay, mate, we'll take your word for it. I look like Jennifer Anderson. All right. But have you used it to your advantage? You're right.

We know a guy who looks like Anthony Hopkins. Yeah. A dead ringer. Like he got, I think, upgraded from economy to business class You're right. We know a guy who looks like Anthony Hopkins. Yeah. A dead ringer. Like he got, I think, upgraded from economy to business class because they thought he was Anthony Hopkins. That's pretty cool. And he didn't say he wasn't Anthony Hopkins, but then obviously he had his passport, so clearly that.

Maybe he's using a different name. So 0800 the hits. Do you look like someone famous? Have you got a discount at a restaurant? Have you taken selfies as this person? We'll find a prize for everyone that gets on the air. I work with someone who looks like Pitbull. Here we go.

How do you know? It may not be you. A sick looking version of Pitbull with COVID. Sarah's on from Christchurch. Who do you look like? I look like Rachel from Short Street, like Angela Bloomfield. Oh, have you used this to your advantage? I know I have.

Oh, you have? What have you got for it? Like I'll skip the coffee here sometimes. I wouldn't ask for it, but people just let me and I just roll with it. Oh, good on you. Good on you. Get to have meetings with the District Health Board, the DHB. Get a discount on medical supplies.

I think that's what she gets. She's a real estate agent now, Angela Bloomfield. That's right, she is, yeah. Oh, well, the DHB. Get a discount on medical supplies. I think that's what she gets. She's a real estate agent now, Angela Bloomfield. That's right, she is, yeah. Oh, well, there you go. Rachel from Shoreham Street. Have you had a discount at dinner or anything? No, but I'll often get people looking at me or sometimes they get photos taken,

but I don't have the heart to tell them it's not me. No, you don't want to break people's hearts. This happened to you, Jono. You were holidaying overseas and they got you out to be a DJ because they thought you were P Money, who's a very successful, great New Zealand producer and DJ. Yeah, that was in Brisbane.

They're like, P Money. And I didn't. Same as you, Sarah. Did not have the heart to tell them that I wasn't P Money. And so they're like, get up, play some music. And oh jeez, I did not do it. I didn't even know how all the buttons worked. I was like, where's play? Where's play, mate?

To the DJ who was there. You're P-Money. Come on, P-Money. You're P-Money. So P-Money's name is probably not, at that particular nightclub, they'll be like, he had a shocker when he was here. He's not as good as he seems.

Didn't even know how to put a CD in. And actually, he was wanting CDs. What year is he in? Does P-Money know that technology is he in? Does Peabody know that technology is advanced in the DJ game? We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. You'll know him from various things on

television and movies. Not only Seven Days, his comedy tours. He's the janitor on Mean Mums, which is on TV at the moment. He was in What We Do in the Shadows as well. It's Corey Gonzalez-McCure. Great to have you in the studio, buddy. How are you doing?

Good, thank you. How are you guys? Good, lovely to see you, Corey. Good to see you guys. All I like Corey is Chilean and has a wonderful body. Wonderful body. What you notice about the Chileans, good bodies. Right. Really?

I know three Chileans. Yeah. I know you, Fabian, and I've got another Chilean friend. All magnificent bodies. Okay. Yeah. How have you, Fabian, and I've got another Chilean friend. All magnificent bodies. Okay. Yeah. How have you seen them? Hey, how have I seen the bodies?

I see your arms and I see your legs. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what's under the T-shirt. Yeah, man. What I can see is magnificent. Those are the hits though, isn't it?

Are you allowed to talk about that? Arms and legs. The Best Foods Comedy Gala. New Zealand's best comics are going to be in Auckland and Wellington and Corey you tweeted you're excited about this but with you

knowing you you're quite deadpan so are you excited about this or is this Yeah I'm very excited This is excited voice Is that your excited voice Yeah

That's my excited voice My morning radio voice Yeah What's Corey upset What does that sound like The same Okay And Corey happy

The same Upset probably sounds happier to be honest The same Okay And Corey, happy? The same Upset probably sounds happier To be honest Oh really? For some weird reason Okay Now very exciting Not just the Best Foods Comedy Gala

But also that you're writing a show That Jermaine Clement From Flight of the Conchords And Taika Waititi Is also involved in as well, right? Yes And I understand you emailed Taika He's been on the same email address

For like 15 years To see if he wanted to be Which is such a Kiwi cool thing to do. He wanted to be involved and he got back in touch with you. Yeah, like literally we sent him the script and said, do you want to be involved somehow in this? And all he replied was, yeah, count me in. And then just went from there.

So what exactly is his involvement? He seems quite vague about what is. We don't know really. So it'll be like in an executive producing role. So it'll be like executive producing role. So it'll be like his name kind of... On the project. That's amazing. What's the show about, can you say?

It's just a comedy about a puppeteer who is down and out and then he's got relationship issues. I'm not sure how much I can say about it. It's still very early stages. It's a show that will hopefully play in America as well, what they sound about. The plan is to go there first and then... Awesome. how much I can say about it. It's still very early stages. It's a show that, yeah, will hopefully play in America as well, by the sound of it. Yeah, well, the plan is to go there first and then... Awesome.

Now, we've got Corey Gonzalez-McHugh with us. The Best Foods Comedy Gala is on for Christmas this year, which is going to be fantastic. Auckland and Wellington. Now, Best Foods have been sponsoring comedy for a while. You must have plentiful mayonnaise. I have a lot of mayonnaise, yeah. Yeah, they've got it, yeah.

Have you got mayonnaise that lasts you the year until the next gala? I've got, there's some mayonnaise in there that's from, so we didn't do the festival this year, so it would have been from last year, so yeah, it's been there for nearly a year and a half, I guess. They get paid in mayonnaise.

That's one of the benefits of being a comic in New Zealand. Now your daughter, Freddie, is with you on Mean Mums you're on Mean Mums the TV show that must be pretty cool to go along and act with your daughter

she's awesome I mean she's only very young but already great on screen yeah she's amazing she was like directing me the whole time

oh really yeah she was improvising I was like that's not in the script stick to the script yeah she was awesome she's amazing and it's just

great hanging out with her every day while we were filming that's very cool speaking of improvisation you were in stick to the script stick to the script yeah she was awesome she's amazing and it's just great hanging out with her every day while we were filming that's very cool speaking of improvisation you were in What We Do In The Shadows obviously a big movie

is that all improvised pretty much you get this sort of rough storyline and then you just go for it yeah I mean we never saw a script the whole time we filmed

was there a script yeah there is apparently there's a script Jermaine and Tyka are the only people who've seen it apparently really which leads me to believe there's probably not a script we'll make you blood packed and say there was a script? Yeah, apparently there's a script. Jermaine and Taika are the only people who've seen it, apparently. Really? Yeah.

Which leads me to believe there's probably not a script. We'll make a blood pact and say there was a script. Yeah, we got a script. We just left it at home. You saying Taika just emailing back going, cut me in, leads me to believe they're pretty far-sighted about this sort of stuff. But that must be,

what's it like as an actor going in and doing scenes where, is it fun, is it freeing, or is it quite nerve-wracking? I mean, at the start it was obviously, we didn't really know what was happening. But after a while, it's just the people that you work with, like Jermaine and Taika obviously. And then Johnny Brough is an amazing comedian and improviser. And most of my scenes were like with him. So it was probably the best part of the whole thing was that you never knew, you literally didn't know what was going to happen every day. And so did they know how the movie was going to end? I'd say so, yeah.

I mean, I don't know how many endings we filmed, but yeah, like when we went to see it, we didn't know how it was going to end. We don't know what scene would be the last scene of the movie. Wow. Corey Gonzalez-McHugh with us. Thank you so much for coming in. Hey, no worries.

The Best Foods Christmas Comedy Gala, Auckland and Wellington. You can get your tickets now. Get out there, see some comedy, support the local comedy industry. And cheers for your time, mate. No worries. Thanks very much. Like starting your day with panda eyes.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Tell you what, Ben Boyce has tirelessly spent the last three minutes in a frenzied panic finding stories you might enjoy. This is Scrolling Through Your Feed, all the big news from overnight. So true. Now, the American election is happening next week. Donald Trump up against Joe Biden.

We were talking just before the show. If Joe Biden wins, he'll be the oldest ever president ever in the history of America. At 78 years old, he'll be. It's interesting the Democrats didn't put up Kamala Harris, who's his vice, Biden's vice. Because at least, you know, you've just got two old white guys battling it out, you know? Are they even going to make it through their full term? We'll find out. Maybe that's part of the drama. But a new photo. You love this, Jono.

You love the conspiracy theory that Melania Trump, of course, wife of President Donald Trump, has his body double from time to time. Yeah, well, you've seen, if you look on Google, there's a rich history of times that a guy from the FBI has been made to dress up like Melania Trump. And it's clearly not her. It's clearly a man dressed as a woman. This one that you've seen this photo of, this new one, now this is not someone from the FBI that you think

has been put into costume but seems like a different lady right? Yeah so now the body doubles got a body double it's the inception of body doubles but yeah

completely different woman they're smiling she's smiling she's waving and people have analysed her teeth compared to Melania Trump's not the same teeth

completely different nose yeah completely different nose why are they even bothering? I don't know just like she wasn't there that day so Donald just went by himself.

Surely the person who's filling in for Melania's like, this is definitely not working. This is not working. You would be so nervous about, they're onto me, they're onto me. And then what happens when people speak to her? She's like, mm, mm, mm, mm. Oh, Melania's not saying much today.

Secret Service comes in and rushes her away. You're like, wow, that was intense. She just waves and hmms. And now, producer Juliette, big fan of the Royals. Yes. There's a new job. A couple of jobs up for grabs. So, William and Kate and the Queen are both looking for house cleaners at the moment.

I'll do that. Yeah, you've also got to clean up Prince Andrew's mess as well. No, I don't know if you all can do that. Is that part of the job description? So, they live in roles based in the house. You get to travel with them around the world. So they take their cleaner, which I guess you understand because they're saying discretion and confidentiality is quite a big thing in the job.

Oh, you rifle through someone's rubbish, but you find out a lot about that person. For sure. So, you know, flexible hours, 33 days holiday a year. You get all your meals and travel expenses paid for and an element of accommodation, but only 35 grand New Zealand a year. I would have thought it would have been, you know, the royals, but I guess you got all your expenses paid for.

Yeah, you got your accom paid for. Yeah, and you get to travel the world. Yeah, so they probably factor in 70,000 or so for that, I imagine. Yeah, that's true. We spoke to a guy, James, Kiwi guy, who was on some show where he was trying to hook up with people. Married at First Sight. Yeah, Married at First Sight. Married at First S Yeah, that's true. We spoke to a guy, James, Kiwi guy, who was on some show where he was trying to hook up with people.

Married at First Sight. Married at First Sight, that's right. The long-lasting, fruitful relationships that Married at First Sight provides. He was on that,

Married at First Sight in New Zealand. He blagged his way into a job with the Queen. Yeah, he was making coffee for the Queen and a really interesting story. I think we've got it

around for you. What did you say on your resume that got you a job with Her Majesty? Yeah, the resume was a little bit glorified. Yeah. Talked up the small skills I did have and then, yeah, just landed the job. Never made a coffee before in my life.

So training was provided and before you know it, three weeks later I was making a cappuccino for the girl. The girl. He called her the old girl. Yeah. Yeah, he said she was lovely. Yeah, they had lots of yarns together. How's that?

You've never made a coffee. You get a job making coffee for the Queen. Crazy. Surely they need to tighten up their security. Or at least get better baristas, that's for sure. Thank you. That is scrolling through your feed this morning. Low in calories and low in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on my head. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are slowly making our way around New Zealand, calling one town or city at a time. It's going to take us over two years, and we're still going. We're in the H's. That's right. Harware. Lake Harware, which is located 15 minutes from Wanaka.

It's the ninth largest lake in Aotearoa. 392 metres deep at some point. That's deep. Wow. That's a deep lake. They were talking about Lake Taupo not being that deep when we were there. You can walk out pretty much halfway. I don't know.

I just made that fact up. But it's very shallow. It is very shallow. And if it weren't for the lake, there wouldn't be much to do in hardware. Lake's used for fishing, boating, swimming, dumping rubbish, dumping bodies. Whatever you want to do, you can do it in that lake. And there's only one shop there. One shop there, and hopefully they're open

at this time of morning. We'll go through to our lake, Harweir Dairy. Harweir, Storing Kitchen, Colin speaking. Hi Colin, how are you? Pretty good, thank you. How are you? Oh, we're good. Listen, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Ah yeah, how's it going? We're doing well. We're phoning every

town in New Zealand. How are we? It's turn. Oh, sweet. Wouldn't read about it. Because it's radio, you can't. What are you after? We just want some information. We like to learn about each place we call. So what could we do if we came there?

If you came to Harway, we've only got one shop here. It's the only shop. You can go to the lake. And go to the shop. Yeah, you can go to the shop. That's about it. And then you can go back to the lake, and then once you're done there, you can go back to the shop. Exactly.

Come to the shop and get an ice cream. Oh, yeah. So what else is in the shop? We've got almost everything. We've got ice cream. We've got pies. Yeah, right. We're like a dairy restaurant

cafe. A dairy restaurant cafe. Doctors, physiotherapists, chiropractors. Now, what's your biggest selling item? Oh, that'd have to be probably a box of 12 spades. And an alcohol

shop. Yeah. And so how big is the community? How many people roughly live there? Oh, a couple thousand. Okay. And the lake just looks stunning. Is it a swimming lake over summertime or what? It's beautiful. Just reading, though, in 2028, Lake Hawia is hosting the World Ploughing Championships.

So a few years away, but it's good that you've got that. That's what I look forward to, yeah. That's a long runway into that. It's a long play, isn't it? Eight years. You still be looking after the shop then, you reckon? Probably not. We'll be off to Christchurch next year, yeah. Well, you can come back for the World Ploughing Championships in 2028.

I will try to. 2028! It's a long run out, isn't it? Yeah. And so what are you going to do in Christchurch? Studying, yeah. What are you studying? Oh, software engineering.

Oh, good on you. Callan, lovely talking to you and lovely hearing about your goals and aspirations for the future. Oh, cheers, mate. Good luck in software engineering. Cheers, Jono. And you look after yourself, safe travels,

and you go and serve some more spades. Yeah, thank you. Catch you, buddy. some more spates. Yeah, thank you. Catch you, buddy. Nice talking to you. You too, Jono and Ben. Have a good day, eh? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. I have a chicken history with swipe cards. You know, swipe cards that get you in and out of buildings. Most workplaces have them. The number of swipe cards I've lost over the years is, it would be easily in the 20s. And that's a lot of swipe cards. I've only worked in two places.

But I've lost this company's one now. This is floating around somewhere. You made the renegade move a while ago to wear it with a lanyard around your neck, which looks cool. Granted, I'll give you that. It looks cool. Nothing looks cooler than a lanyard around your neck, which looks cool. Granted, I'll give you that. It looks cool. Nothing looks cooler than a lanyard around your neck. You're swiping on into the, you know,

you're pulling it out like an FBI agent on a sting, going, here's my card. John O'Brien, Low Rent Radio announcer. Let me in. I love lanyards. You've isolated it from the pack. Like, it's by itself. That's my theory.

Like, I put mine in my wallet, so then if I, it's a one-stop shop. If I lose my wallet, everything's gone. But then I know one thing I've got to keep together. Once it goes, it's a one-stop shop. If I lose my wallet, everything's gone. But then I, But at least I know it's all gone. One thing I've got to keep together. Once it goes, it goes bad. Yeah. No, I appreciate it.

Well, I've looked everywhere because Jo, lovely facilities manager here at the building, she's like, have another look, just look all over. There's no part of New Zealand where I haven't looked. I even lifted up Stewart Island, looked under there. It's not under Stewart Island, guys. Can't find the swipe card.

But thinking about them, they're so handy, aren't they? I think everyone should wander around with a lanyard and a swipe card. It's got everyone's names on it. You know, it's like a name badge. You can't forget anyone's names. Jacinda should put that into law. Everyone has to wear a lanyard with a

name on it. Isn't it nice? You've lost your thing, and so no one will know your name. You're saying carrying them around, but you've lost it. You've clearly lost it. Isn't it nice not, you know when you're like you, you've lost your thing and so no one will know your name. Eh? Well, yeah, you're saying carrying them around but you've lost it, you've clearly lost it. Yeah, well there's better people out there than me who won't lose their lanyard. But I feel, even when we're walking up and down the road

here you see people with lanyards like, hello Garth from PricewaterhouseCoopers. He's like, hello weird guy that I don't know. Hello Denise from Sky City. You you know you wave to everyone I love knowing everyone's names let's get that into law okay I'm going to pitch there

I feel like you're not that on board with it no not really you're just sort of politely laughing and giggling away in the corner there what more do you want from me at this moment I want you to get me a new swipe card so I have to

call producer Humphrey every morning and let me in. Wait out there for 10 minutes for the local friendly neighbourhood meth dealer. He's very nice though. He is. Great deals. Great deals going at the moment. He wears a swipe card too. He's got a swipe card too. Gary! Local friendly dealer. Wake up full

of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jahan Casanata is an award-winning TV journalist. You would have seen him reporting on TVNZ on shows like Sunday and 7 Sharp. He has a new book out right now on his journey with dealing with depression. It's called This Is Not How It Ends. You know, I watched you on TV many times,

and I thought that guy is bloody good at his job. You know when you watch people doing their jobs and you're like, they're above the rest. No one's ever said that about us. That's fine. But you've been there since 17 years old at TVNZ, is that right? Yeah, I blagged my way into TVNZ and I started emailing people and trying to get on the telly because I wanted to tell stories and I wanted to travel around the country and meet people. So somehow I've got away with making a living out of that for quite a while. And so at 17, what did TVNZ have you do? What sort of child labor were they making you partake in?

I think I was on some sort of youth rate. I'd take the train into Wellington from Lower Hutt at 5.30 on a Tuesday morning and I'd be on here with Paul Henry at 7.20 and then I'd get changed into my school uniform in the corridor outside the studio. Oh my God. Yeah, and then turn up at school in time for the first period. So

I was a bit of a news geek. I got the chance to go to the Teen Choice Awards in Sydney and interview Zac Efron just before High School Musical came out and my parents said no you can't, you've got mock exams for NCEA. So I did this deal with them where I flew to Sydney and back in the same day, interviewed Zac Efron, came

back and did my exam. And then did your exams. How'd you go the exam? Oh I can't remember I don't think I've The interview was fine? The interview was fine that was the main thing that was what I was mainly worried about. Zac Efron he was on par it was fantastic. Now the reason we've got you on this morning is you've just released a book which is a very important piece of literature in this current day and age. It's also me doing It's called This Is Not How It Ends. And as you said before, you like telling other people's stories as a reporter on Sunday at breakfast. But this is your story.

It's really weird being on the other side of the table. I went through a pretty severe patch of depression. I went for a few years and things got quite dark for a while. And I tried all the stuff that you're meant to do. I bought a mindfulness colouring in book for adults and I was colouring in all the time. I was taking antidepressants. I was exercising.

I was reducing my stress, but none of that really made a difference for me. Eventually I landed on this idea of storytelling and I told so many stories about people who had changed the narrative around their life. They'd become a different character in their own story. And that had made such a difference for them. So I wanted to do an experiment on myself to see whether that would help me.

Right. And so the book is called This Is Not How It Ends. And so the idea being you can change the end story. You can make it a happy ending. You can write your own story. No matter what has happened in your life or what you're going through, you are the author of your own story. So that gives you a huge amount of power because you get to choose how you tell the story. That's a cool way of looking at it.

Yeah. And the research shows that actually if you can tell a more hopeful story about your life, you have better mental health outcomes. You, you know, you're one of these people obviously who when you were depressed, you had practical solutions trying to work your way through to find out what was best for you. A lot of people don't do that, do they? They sort of just sit in this tailspin of not knowing where to go, what to do, what's best for them, because there's so many options that can help you. Yeah, and my advice to people listening is do whatever works for you. The storytelling approach worked for me, but for other people, it's exercise, it's social connection, it might be something to do with their environment, or it could be antidepressants. So I reckon people need to try whatever.

Yeah. I don't want to pick apart just one thing of the book, but I found it interesting when you used to go to McDonald's quite a bit. 58 times you reckon you went in the middle of the night? Well, I looked at not all in the middle of the night. Oh, so it was very size of the day. Oh, right. He's not some psychopath that does midnight McDonald's runs every night. Sorry, I've really taken it.

I've changed your story. I've added some notes that I've made it different. Yeah, that's all right. You make it better. Make it more exciting. All in the same night, too. Yeah, it was 55 times. No, look, McDonald's was something

that kind of got me through last year, to be honest. Yeah, right. Yeah, quarter pounder, six pack of nuggets and a medium fries. And so this all just happened 2019, did it? 2019 and a couple of years before that. So you were working at TVNZ? Yeah, so I was.

And you just packed up and pretty much moved to Wellington? Yeah, I kind of moved out of my own life. I knew that I just needed a bit of a circuit breaker and sometimes that's a good decision. When you're trapped in that spiral and you can't find a way out, you actually need to step out for a while to be able to get your perspective back. So I've had a good eight months out of my job and normal life. And now I'm back to, I reckon, full functioning and I'm feeling really good.

Which must have been a bit of a conflict for you to make that decision because it was obviously your dream job to end up there. You're doing your dream and you're not in a happy place, which would have been totally and I reckon I put on a mask I think a lot of us do that not just those of us in the media or on tv but I think we're all performing we're all trying to be the best version of ourselves for the people around us but ultimately you can't live an authentic life if if you're performing and you need to drop that mask and be honest with the people around you oh it's an awesome thing that you're doing. It's called This Is Not How It Ends. Go get it. As I say, I've looked through bits of it and I really, really

like what I've seen in it. Awesome. It's a really brave thing you've done. So thank you for bringing this to the world. Thanks, man. Good you're hand, Kirsten Arda. Thank you very much. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. Spy the What's Up by doco.nz. She is up today with

all the hottest celebs. Lil Wayne, Lil Pump, Lil Kim, Lil Weezy, Lil Litchi, Lil Randy, Lil Smelly. You name them. Producer Juliet's got them in spy. Thanks very much. Now Adele, she over the weekend hosted Saturday Night Live. They often get celebrities to host occasionally. Is that the show?

Do they do that every week? Yeah, they usually have a guest host that performs and sketches and stuff as well. So I think they should come in for the week and they write with the crew and film and pretend and pretend? Pretend? Practice. They're having a good time

is it? That's what we do every morning. We pretend we're having a good time. It's all part. This whole game is pretending, isn't it? So she did it this week? Yeah, pretending, isn't it? That's right. So she did it this week. Yeah, so she was hosting it, and she addressed her weight loss, I think, for the first time publicly.

Like, she'd posted photos, and everyone's like, oh, my God, she's lost so much weight. And she credited it to COVID. And I know I look really, really different since you last saw me, but actually, because of all the COVID restrictions and the travel bans, I had to travel light and only bring half of me. And this is the half that I chose. Good gag from her.

Nice gag. So she's lost 18 kgs. At 40 pounds. Wow. I mean, she looked great with a fuller figure, I thought, Adele. Yeah.

And she looks fantastic now as well. I know. It's crazy. I love Adele, like the difference in her voice, you know, how she talks. Hello, Giza. You know? Yeah. Sounds like a coal, like the difference in her voice, you know, how she talks. Hello, Gisa. You know?

Sounds like a coal miner from the 60s. You can see her on one of those talent shows where they come in there and she's like, hello, and you're like, oh, this is going to be a shambles. And then they sing and you're like, oh, my God, this is amazing. That's how I feel about Lewis Capaldi as well. So you obviously know Lewis Capaldi's singing voice and his songs, but if you haven't, go and look at his Instagram. Go and look at interviews

he is the most hilarious like just dopey dude and I'm like I love people like that yeah she seems quite real doesn't she

yeah apparently on her ride or backstage at every concert she's asked for a pack of Rothmans really those are her celebrity demands

a pack of Rothmans I love it as long as she's happy that's all that matters for sure I can't fit into my bloody pants at the moment. Ben keeps pants-shaming me. I don't pants-shame.

We filmed something last week because he's got all our pants. Because we've got matching suits, and so I hold on to them because I'm being the responsible one to bring them along on the day. And then he keeps going, you sure these aren't your pants? I'm like, no, no, they're not my pants. He's like, this is your ideal weight. He keeps pants-shaming me.

Maybe they were yours, and then he went down a size of that. I have to lie on the floor and wrestle my legs into these things. They're still attached to me now. I've just got other trousers on top. You just never take them off. No, and I can't do the zip up either, so I just sit there with my zip down. I'm glad I have the screen covering you then. You're lucky.

You don't want to know what's going on under this desk right now. And Legally Blonde 3 has been announced that it will be hitting theatres in May 2022. That's almost two decades after the first couple of movies.

Yeah. It was a phenomenon, that movie. Was it Reese Witherspoon and she was, she got into law, didn't she? She studied law.

That's right. Hence the Legally Blonde. Yeah, she was kind of like, well, everyone thought she was a bit ditzy and stuff, but she showed everyone. I'll tell you what, she overcame adversity. That's a fun movie.

Now she's back for a third one. What's she doing now? I don't actually know. To be fair, it's probably bad me saying this, but I don't think I've ever seen the Legally Blonde films. Get out. But I know that Bend and Snap,

that's the only thing I know. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's great, yeah. Apparently, I was just looking here on this article, the initial movie ended with Luke Wilson and her kissing at the end, but test audiences didn't like that ending, so they had to write a whole new ending.

Oh, really? They must do that all the time with movies. Yeah, they're right, so... Yeah, so they're like, uh-uh, we don't like this, so they're like, okay, well, they just had to reshoot a whole different ending to the movie. Wow.

Wait, so do they have people that... Actually, yeah, that's such a stupid question, Juliet. Do they have people that watch the movie and give reviews before they release it? I suppose because everyone making the film would be so invested and so into it that when you get a whole audience and it has nothing to do with the project, they'd probably give you a good, honest opinion. Yeah, fair enough. Anyway.

Anyway, I wonder how the test audiences are going for this dog. Let's not do that, eh? I don't want to know. And that is Spy. For more, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits.

We're getting to the end of our show on a Tuesday and we like to end on a positive note. We do this every show. Why is it going to be a good day? I'm feeling good. You give us a call and tell us why it's going to be a good day, and we like to feel good. Heading into today is Tuesday, of course. Now, not just half an hour ago, I was mocking you on air for the fact that you never call

your mother, Jenny, and when you do, it's usually just for radio pranks, and you're like, oh, I need to play you this heartbreaking phone message. Oh, yesterday. When did you get this message? Yesterday. Yesterday this message came through. It was like, you reminded me because my mum left a message on my phone yesterday. You have a message received yesterday.

Oh, wow. Guess who this is? This is somebody called Jennifer. It happens to be your mother. And who hasn't heard from her beautiful son for a long time. So, hopefully you're relaxing and having a lovely day. And maybe we can catch up when you've got five minutes. Even a minute would be good.

Okay. Lots of love. Bye. There's the sarcasm in Jenny's voice at the top of that message there. And then the heartbreak at the end of the message. Just a minute. Just a minute. Just a minute.

I need to call that lady. What's her name again? No. So I'll tell you why it's going to be a good day today. It's going to be a good day for Jenny because I'm going to make you call your mum on the radio next and be a good son. But you need to tell us why it's going to be a good day for you today. 0800-THE-HATS can be as big or as little as you want. It could even just be your son

sparing 30 seconds of his day to call you. Just a minute. I'm going to make a good day for Jenny right now because we're going to call she lives far north in the far north of Russell

and we're going to call her now and I'm going to surprise her with her son. Oh, here we go. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. It's your son here. Well, that's a nice surprise.

I've made him call you, Jenny. You have? We're just playing your message, and you've got to call your mum. So we're doing it on the radio because it's a good day. I'm calling my mum. Wow, it's nice to hear from you. They're always on the radio, these conversations. That's what weirds me out.

Well, I'm an open book. I'm an open book. What do I have to say to my mum? Everyone can hear. What do you want to say to him, Jenny? Oh, well, when am I going to see him? When are you going to see him? Okay, no more questions on air.

No. It's been too long. I do miss my mum. I love my mum very much. Not enough to call her, though. Oh, no, she knows I'm always thinking of her, don't you, mum? Of course. I do miss my mum. I love my mum very much. Not enough to call her, though. Oh, no, she knows I'm always thinking of her, don't you, Mum? Of course, I do know that.

I'm always. You're a good son. It'd be nice to see you now. Yeah, no, it would. You're too busy. It would, yeah. He's not, actually. I'll send him up there this weekend.

Well, that'd be nice. We're up here. We live in a very beautiful part of New Zealand. Sunshine. Oh, lovely. Well, that'd be nice. We're up here. We live in a very beautiful part of New Zealand. Sunshine. Oh, lovely. Well, you have a great day, Mum. And we'll talk to you soon. Next time on the radio, maybe, or off the radio.

Oh, well, I won't hold my breath. Gee, that sounds good. All right. Love you. Okay, love. There you go. What a good day it is. Lovely mother-son moment there. We'll go to line two.

Anonymous is on. Unusual birth name, Anonymous. But welcome to the show. Why is it going to be a good day for you? I'm off with Andrew shopping to find a loping in four weeks' time. Oh, isn't this exciting? A loping in four weeks. Yep, yep.

We kind of decided two weeks ago and that's what we're doing. Oh, my God. Where are you at loping to? About two hours away from where we live. Oh, God. I can't. You don't want to give too many details. eloping too? About two hours away from where we live. Oh, good. I suppose you don't want to give too many details. Yeah, I guess

you can't go overseas to elope at the moment, right? No. And so, no one's coming? No, we've got our parents and that's it.

Oh, wow. That's exciting. Very exciting. So you're buying your eloping dress. I tell you what, we'll keep your number and we'll keep in touch with you and see how the eloping goes. Yes, wow. That's exciting. Very exciting. So you're buying your eloping dress. I tell you what, we'll keep your number and we'll keep in touch with you and see how the eloping goes. Yes, definitely.

I just like saying the word eloping. I know. We've never said eloping more on this show. Eloping's my new favourite word. Hey, best of luck eloping. Thank you. Happy eloping. All right.

We'll send you an envelope for opening at your eloping, all right? That's some fun words I wanted to say. How long have we got, Ju? Time for one more? Yeah, yeah, about 40 seconds. Okay, we'll go to Gareth. Gareth, who's on Dog Almighty tonight. Gareth!

How you guys going? Good, mate. How are you doing? Yeah, not too bad, man. I'll be just hanging out at work at the moment. Okay, it's going to be a good day for you.

You're on the Google Box tonight. Yeah, mate, it's going to be an awesome day. I'm going to be really good and you and fall in love with my Ivy. Yeah, your beautiful dog, Ivy. And now, Jono is very jealous of your hairstyle tonight on the show, if I remember correctly. Beautiful rat's tail you've got, Gareth.

The best in New Zealand. Oh, mate. It is awesome. Nice to talk to you, my friend. And you take care of Ivy and that beautiful rat's tail. Yeah, thank you. And I'll just say a shout-out to the boys. All right, forget to work, eh?

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.