Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - October 28 - Car Crimes, The A To Z Of New Zealand, Have You Been On A Reality TV Show?

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

Kia Ora! On today's show, we sent Millennial Max out to a petrol station and Kmart to pay for people's fuel & buy gifts on our new company credit card! Even though we still don't know how much is on there! Ben's daughter is also very keen on setting up some hidden cameras in the house to catch a culprit, and this culprit may surprise you. Finally, we wanted to know about the low level car crimes that SHOULD be illegal - people who don't merge like a zip, people who don't thank you when you give way to them, you name it, we covered it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. How are you? Welcome to the podcast. We're both saying lethargic today.

I'm so lethargic, I can't even say the word lethargic. Yeah, a little bit tired. I don't know why it is, because it's a very short week. We shouldn't complain. We don't do, like, a proper job, so. And then some mornings are harder to get up than others. For no reason. Like, you've done nothing different.

No. Gone to bed, same time. You've done what you do in your sleep. Whatever goes on while you're sleeping, I don't know what happens. We talked about this a while ago, and with a sleep person, they didn't reckon you could bank sleep. Like, you know, you don't get much happens. We talked about this a while ago with a sleep person. They didn't reckon you could bank sleep. Like, you know, you don't get much sleep during the week. Maybe you catch up on the weekend.

But they were like, oh. That does not work. It doesn't work. No. I was a nutritionist. That's right. Yeah, a nutritionist. Libby, Dr. Libby Weaver.

Yeah, she was like, no. And her understanding is you can't really bank it. So you're like, oh, I've got a full battery ready to go for the week. It doesn't quite work like that. But you always do feel like Monday, Tuesday, after a good rest on the weekend is easier. You feel, yeah, you do. Dr. Libby, who do you think you are?

A doctor or something? World-renowned nutritionist. Nutritionist, yeah. And health professional? Yeah. Yeah, well, listen, I don't believe your banking sleep theory. I reckon it works. I know Mike Hosking upstairs, when we spoke to him,

he hosts Newstalk ZB and he gets up at 2, 2.30 in the morning. He's in there at 3 every morning. Yeah, so early, right? And he believes in banking sleep. He's on the weekend, he stores it up. Yeah, well, because he's probably only getting a couple of hours every night. Yeah, and so whatever Mike Hosking says You've got to listen to that

More people listen to him than anyone else That's right, he's number one rating show, Mike Hosking He's not banging on about how tired he is He's just doing his thing He's taking down the Prime Minister Has he sucked up two minutes of people's days talking about how tired he is? Probably not No, he puts that aside

He's just getting in there with the politicians Yeah, why can't we be more like that? Oh, because we're not. We're not like that. No, we do. We're lucky. We're in the wheelhouse of being able to complain about tiredness for two minutes. Yeah, yeah.

Well, a very exciting show we had today. We spoke to, we said, is anyone listening who's been on a reality TV show? And some interesting people came out of the woodwork. Oh, surprisingly. There was, yeah, someone who was on The World's Worst Drivers, a TV show and some interesting people came out of the woodwork. Oh surprisingly there was someone who was on the world's worst drivers the TV show someone from, a very famous person from The Bachelorette and The Bachelor. Oh and the lady

from Renters. Oh she's great. A property manager in Christchurch, you might have seen the TV show Renters, proves her name and the stuff she has seen in people's flats including a decapitated arm in a fridge. That's right. Yeah, enjoy all that on the podcast if you can stay awake.

The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, after a long weekend, we arrived to work yesterday and there was a courier package for us. And inside it was a company card that you'd replied to an email from, Jono, and it seems like we've got a company card. Yeah, for the show. It's a show card.

They said, who needed a credit card for any work-related expenses? So I said, well, we did. I didn't know what those expenses were. And surprise, surprise, the card's turned up, my friend. And yesterday we sent out Millennial Max just to test it to see if there was any actual money. Because we've never had one before, right? I don't know how it works.

I don't know what the repercussions are. But right now we're like, well, let's see if it works first. I think the repercussions are the company has to pay the money back to the bank with a high interest repayment. And we probably end up having to pay that back ourselves. But anyway, right now we're enjoying it. We're not thinking about that

because Millennial Max tested out the card yesterday. We wanted to max out the card. And so we've sent out Millennial Max to literally max out the credit card. Max, come on in. Did you get it, Max? Good morning. Because your name's Max and John, I said max out the card.

I've got the card, guys. Okay, didn't do that. He's ignoring you. He's ignoring our joke and you. I'm with someone right now, guys. Who are you with? Jenny. Oh, Jenny.

Would you like us to pay for a coffee for you? I'd love a coffee. All right, let's see if it goes through. I can hear the EFOS machine. Accepted. It's accepted! It's accepted! So full credit to Max with the credit card there.

It went through, and so we've sent him out again to frivolously swipe this card all around New Zealand. And he's going to go to a petrol station and a mall this morning. Yeah, so we'll see if we can surprise someone at a petrol station, see if we can pay for their petrol, whatever they're buying there right now. I love it how you got confused about what you'd be doing at a petrol station. I know, what else is there? There's not many other.

Well, I know there's always specials when you go to the counter. You can pay for their Santy bars at the counter. They're always like, would you like the specials today? That's another option. And then after 8 o'clock, we'll send them to a store and then you can ring up on 100 to hit so we might give someone away something they want in the store. Yeah, you just order and we'll get Max to swipe.

It does have the makings of a cameo on Police 10-7. Is it credit card fraud? Who's to say? Well, right now, we're quite safe. We're in the studio. Max is out there. He's the one getting filmed by the hidden cameras in the stores. We can be like, we had no...

He said he was on the radio? No. I've never seen this millennial man before. Yeah, anyway, so after seven o'clock, you could be winning big thanks to this company card.

I don't think it's going to be here for a long time, but definitely a good time. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The other day we were talking about this and producer Juliet, you have this same issue where, with your flatmate who does it,

in the car when you're driving and she leans over and toots the horn. On behalf of me. And I'm like, that is not your job. Your job is music. Oh, but she's front row. No, you can't lean over. 50% of the car is hers in that situation. If she's aggrieved by another motorist,

she's well within her rights to lean over and honk. I don't agree with that because then this happens to me lots, and you do this as well. It's not my fault you're too passive. And then they turn around and they look at you because you're the one behind the wheel. And you're like, oh, what's the matter? When they turn around, I'll go, it was me, it was me. I'll wave.

Yeah, but I'm like feeling the guilt of that because everyone's like, oh, this guy. Because you never honk. I spoke about it the other day. He sat through four light phasings because the person in front of him missed the green light. They got there eventually.

They didn't need me to go, behind you. Ben just left his car at the intersection. You know what? I just don't want to make a fuss. That's right. It's the Kiwi way.

Don't make a fuss. So what we wanted to open up, 0800 the hits, 4487, low-level car crimes. Now, these are the sorts of things. They're not in the road code. They're not deemed illegal in the eyes of the law,

but they should be. We're talking about things like if someone lets you in, you raise an index finger off the steering wheel. Yeah, I agree with that one. Just a finger lift. Just that? Yeah. Just to acknowledge.

Or I tell you what I love, a hazard. Oh, I thought that too. A hazard thank you. Oh, that's nice of them. A couple of blinks of the indicators. Wonderful. Everyone's happy. You're welcome.

But when they don't give you anything, you're like, oh, hey, I just let you in. I didn't need to do this. It winds you up. You're right. So I agree with that one. I don't agree with the honking. The honking. I would say it's illegal in these low-level crimes for the passenger to touch the horn.

Okay. What do you not like happening in your car on the road? A lot of people get fussy about the control of the stereo. You said you do let your friends control the stereo, Juliet. A lot of people won't let you touch aircon stereo. Yeah, the music has to be on point for driving. And I place a lot of trust in my friends who are in the passenger seat to be on the music

as long as they don't toot my goddamn horn for me. You know, Ben Boyce used to leave banana skins in my door handles. In my door handles. Oh, no, I was going to get rid of it, and then I forgot. And then eventually they're called possible. And then three days later, they're rotting away in my door handles. There we go. So that's a low-level car crime.

Please don't leave banana skins in my door handles. 4487 on the text, or 0800 the hit. So we've got some prizes to give away. So give us a call this morning. What are the low-level car crimes? Things that aren't in the road code, but you reckon they should be. We'll go to the phones. Whangarei.

We'll head to Louise. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. Low-level car crimes. Good morning. Wow, that was a champagne introduction of you, Louise, if I do say so myself. What's your low-level car crime, matey? I like to have a clean windscreen, and when my husband's driving, I reach over and give the old

wiper a good squirting. Oh, you're a self-squirter from the passenger seat. He hates it. You can imagine. You're like, it's my thing. I'm driving right now. I'm the only one who squirts the car. So would he do the same

when you were driving or not? No, he wouldn't dare. He wouldn't dare, exactly, but you'd do it. You have the gall to do it. Alright. I don't know why I'm getting so upset about this. Thanks, Dad. We're going to send you a prize. We really appreciate your call this morning, alright?

Thank you. Go on, you Lou. We'll head to Turo Akimbo. Welcome. Low-level car crimes. What's yours? When I've just freshly washed my fairly new car inside and out and my delightful children stick their muddy tooth prints on the backs of the seat. Oh, mate. Kids, and they have a knack too when they're eating to miraculously get food in every crevice of the car somehow.

Yeah, pretty much. I like it best during the week when I'm just driving my car to work and there's no children in it. Is it awkward? Are the kids in the car right now? Because you know they can hear everything. No, no, no, they're not in the car right now. I can hear you very long way to work, so their dad does drop off and pick up. Yeah, Kim's in her happy place right now. It's amazing she's very long away from work, so they do have to drop off and pick up. Kim's in her happy place right now. It's amazing because you're like, how did footprints end up on the roof? Yeah. How are their

shoe prints on the roof there? That's incredible. Thank you. We'll go to Adrian in Tuakau. Welcome, Adrian. How are you? Morning. Lovely to have you on. You're low-level car crime. When the kids get in the car first and their Bluetooth connects to the stereo and the hands

read before yours does. It's always the same song too. It's always the first song alphabetically. We were talking about this the other day, it winds you up. There's a song that winds you up. It's an Ed Sheeran one. I've never even heard it before. The A-Team. ABC, easy as

every time you plug it in. Fair call, Adrian. And we'll want to. Once Jackson, ABC, every time you plug it in. Yeah, no, fair call, Adrian. And we'll go to Anthony. Welcome, Anthony. How are you? Good morning, not too bad.

We're doing well. Low-level car crime. Yeah, my ones have to be like I'm driving along the motorway and I see people pull in front of a truck,

especially tankers, petrol tankers, and not leaving well enough room. And I'm a perception of a bigger vehicle needs more room to stop. Oh, you're a truck driver. I love cutting in front of trucks.

That's one of my favourite hobbies. Especially on the state highway one when things are speedy and dangerous. I love just ripping in front of a truck. Hey, good on you, Anthony. Appreciate that. Now, sorry, Juliet, but before I went to Anthony, you were doing the helicopter. Did we need to?

Are we over time? I don't know. Producer Humphrey just did it to me. Oh, he was doing the helicopter. you were doing the helicopter. Did we need to? Are we over time? I don't know. Producer Humphrey just did it to me. Oh, he was doing the helicopter. He was doing the helicopter. Maybe our helicopter's arrived. We've been wanting one for a while. We're going to show helicopter, ladies and gentlemen.

We're going to show credit card. I also replied to an email saying, can we get a helicopter? So maybe it has arrived. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Jono and Ben's company credit card. We got an intro, so it must be official.

And we also got a company credit card that got sent to us. We feel like accidentally we replied all to an email saying, who needs an updated credit card or who needs a credit card within the company? And our company has issued us with a credit card. How cool is that? Yeah, we're not sure how deep into the financial black hole this credit card goes. We road-tested it yesterday with Millennial Max in a cafe.

It worked. It was accepted. And now we're going to send them out and about this morning to purchase goods for you and the public. Good deeds are plenty. I tell you what, this is making up for all the horrible things we've done in our life. Hasn't it been? It is.

So Millennial Max is out and about. We're hopefully paying for some stuff. Where are you, Max? How are you? All these questions and more. I'm at the Celtic. Oh, you're at the Celtic. I can hear birds chirping in the background.

It's a beautiful day, Max. Yeah, bright and early with the birds. And we're maxing out the credit card. Yesterday you went to a cafe, shouted coffee and muffins for the wonderful Jenny. And today, petrol, we understand. Yes, exactly. I'm with, sorry, what's your name? Nigel.

I'm with Nigel. Nigel has an extremely full tank of petrol. Can I just ask you, how long have you been standing next to Nigel? I've been standing next to Nigel for about four minutes now. Four minutes, okay. So you did find out... It's not getting awkward yet.

Well, it might be now because you found out his name, then you forgot his name, or had you not found out his name? Hadn't found out his name. You hadn't, okay. So you could have talked, that would have been one of the first questions

in four minutes of standing next to someone. What have you been doing for four minutes standing next to him? Just staring at my phone, waiting for you guys to talk to me. Nigel, where's your light banter with Nigel? What are you been doing for four minutes standing next to him? Just staring at my phone waiting for you guys to talk to me. Nigel, where's your light banter with Nigel? What are you doing today? Check us on to Nigel, Max.

Nigel, can I check you on to John and Ben? Hello. Hey, Nigel, has Millennial Max been standing next to you for four minutes and not said anything and has just been looking at his phone? Yeah, there about. Pretty much. No light banter? No, no, very minimal.

Very minimal. Well, apologies about that. But we want to see if this company credit card that we got sent pretty much no light banter nah nah very minimal very minimal well apologies about that but we want to see if this company credit card that we got sent will work we want to see if we can pay for your tank of gas

alright sounds good but it's your company credit card right like it's not some other company right listen are you involved in a credit card scam

who knows no but I was reading about them yesterday it is our company credit card we'll take the heat on this one. Next week, we're going to send Max out skimming ATM machines. But first, we're going to use this credit card.

How much is your petrol today? I always aim for $123.45. I don't know how close I got there. Well, let's see if it's going to go through. We'll get Max to swipe the card because it's on us, okay? Awesome. That sounds great. A bit more emotion, mate. What's yours?

I'm just like, I'm just, there's a catch somehow. Oh, I see how you... He's suspicious. You've got to take your pants off. You've got to fill up your car naked. It's a radio thing.

No, no, it's not. It's, yeah, it's fully legit. We want to pay for your gas, all right? All right, cool. That's amazing. Okay, so is Max

swiping the card now? No, not yet. Okay. What is he doing then? For God's sakes. I don't want to see him standing around. He's doing nothing. He's standing around.

All right, thank you, Nigel. Can you pass this back on to Max? You have a great day, buddy. Thank you. Same to you guys. Thanks, guys. Are you there? We're here.

Have you paid, Max? No, we're just queuing Same to you guys. Thanks, guys. Are you there? We're here. Have you paid, Max? No, we're just queuing up to pay now. How many people in front of you? One. Oh, okay. Here we go. Here we go. Who's behind the counter? Hi, sorry, what's your name? Samil. Okay, Samil.

We want to pay for the gas. He won't care. Pay for pump seven, please. Pump seven. Ask him what his favourite radio station is. I love this guy. What's your favourite radio station? we want to pay for the gas he won't care pay for pump 7 please pump 7 ask him what his favourite radio station is I love this game what's your favourite radio station look at the microphone did he say our one

he said your one yeah our one yeah he doesn't know the name of it so it comes to is that the price $103.94.

Hey, you're a bit further away from him. $123. Can I pay for that? Thank you so much. It's on the hits. Change, change and love. Hang on, let's wait until it goes. Is it going through?

Now, accepted. Accepted. Change and love. Change and love. What are the emotions like in store, Max? Fever pitch? My queue is building and I think people are getting annoyed with me. Okay, great stuff.

This has been an awkward fade-out to an awkward cross. We love your work, Maxie. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. We are calling every town and city in New Zealand. We call one a day. We're slowly making our way all around New Zealand.

That's how the A to Z of New Zealand works. Today, we're heading 40 kilometres northwest of Auckland to a wonderful slice of paradise, Hellensville. Through the research process, I actually discovered there's no actual Hellens living in Hellensville. There's none, is there? We wouldn't read about it. And despite the lack of Hellens, still a great place to visit.

Named one of New Zealand's top 10 small towns, which means it's probably at number ten, because they haven't specified which number in the top ten. That's the thing, eh? Yeah, they haven't stipulated their ranking there, but it's also apparently the seventh friendliest people in New Zealand in Hellensville. We tried to get them talking smack about the top six in front of them, but they were too nice. They wouldn't say anything mean. So we're going to go through to, I think, a florist here. Hopefully they're up early. Hello, Mel speaking.

Hi, Mel. Hello. Jono and or Ben calling here from the Hits. How are you? Hi, great, thank you. We're phoning every town in New Zealand, and today we're calling Hellensville. Oh, thank you. We're phoning every town in New Zealand, and today we're calling Hellensville. Oh, my gosh.

And you are the proprietor, owner, and peddler of flowers in the community, we understand. I am, yes. Yes, definitely. Just at the markets this morning. Markets very early for flowers, I understand. Yes, they are, yes. What time are you up?

Oh, what time am I up? Not too early. You're still doing stuff. You're multitasking right now. Most definitely. Just holding up the car. What we're doing, we won't hold you up, so you keep doing what you're doing.

Yes. We just phone every town, and we like to learn a little bit about each place we call. Hellensville today. Yep. I don't know if you can continue on this conversation. No, no, you have my undivided attention. Well, it feels like we don't, but that's fine.

I understand. You do know I can't just tell you have my undivided attention. Okay, because you're off in the distance and I can hear noise. It sounds like you're packing a lot of stuff in and also conducting a conversation on the radio. Is it too much? Okay. So what can I tell you?

What would you like to know about Hellisville? Well, they do tell me it's one of the top ten small towns in New Zealand. Oh, it's an amazing little place. Great community, really, really friendly. Had some really cool antiqueique shops Some boutique shops The best flower shop Oh is that you? Yeah

Oh that'd be me Love flowers Great flower shop You sort of said it like It was someone else's shop Yeah But it was good Good delivery

No no And Hellensville How long have you lived there? Well I can't call myself a local I've only been here for six years Well that seems long enough Doesn't it? Yes yep That's pretty long you lived there? Well, I can't call myself a local. I've only been here for six years. Well, that seems long enough, doesn't it? Yes, yep. That's pretty long, but no, you can't

call yourself a local unless you are bred and born here. Oh, really? They don't take anyone on? No, no. But they are a friendly lot. And I do hear that they have some hot springs around the area. Oh, amazing hot spring pools, spa pools, mineral water.

Oh, that's really interesting. And so the flower business, how are we going? You meeting your monthly targets? Oh, yeah, yeah, booming. I've just moved my business home after the whole COVID carry on, but I'm working from home now, so less expenses, doing my own hours, just, you know, living the life.

It's great. What do you reckon you should spend on a bunch of flowers? Like when you ring up, I never know when someone's like, I want to get a bunch of flowers for someone, it's their birthday, they're going away, something,

you know, what should you spend? You know what? I do small posies from $7.50. Oh, that's affordable. Tiny little sort of token posy. They're the most popular thing in Hellensville. You can take them to rest homes. You can take them to...

That's really good, isn't it? You know, all the rest of it. But I say a nice bouquet for me is around the $50, $60 mark. Now, okay, I'm going to name a hypothetical situation. You just tell me the perfect flower to get for that situation. Sure. Someone's been divorced, recently

divorced. Ooh, recently divorced. Well, it could either be a really happy occasion. Yeah, they're happy about it. They're happy. They're really happy about it. So something really nice and bright at the moment, these beautiful sunflowers, gerberas. Okay, what about, I've used your toothbrush

by accident this morning. I'm sorry. Oh, used your toothbrush by accident. Yeah, you might need some kissing out there. And we're flatmates. We're flatmates. Might need a bit bigger bunch than just a $7.50 one. Okay, yeah. Okay, another one.

I accidentally scratched Ben's car in the car park. He doesn't know yet. What? Is this legit? I wouldn't confess to that one. Okay, because that didn't happen. But if I get an anonymous bouquet of flowers on my car loader next to a scratch mark, okay, I see how this works. Okay, Ben has experienced a death.

It's the death of his career. What am I getting him? Well, I wouldn't be sending him a dozen red roses. Maybe some white ones for condolences. Condolences on your loss of your career. No, fair enough. Hey, you've been really fun to talk to. We really appreciate it.

I know how busy you are packing the car and getting flowers all around Hellensville. So thanks for your time this morning. Okay, amazing. Thank you, guys. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, my daughter, Indy, came up to me over the weekend. She was very serious and businesslike. She's quite serious and businesslike, I love you. Yeah, she's quite focused. That's what I love about Indy. We talked about this before.

She'll put herself to bed if she's tired. I don't know any other kid at eight years old. She pays you monthly bills. Yeah, she's a lot more intelligent than me, which is not saying a lot, but she's tired. I don't know any other kid at eight years old. She pays you monthly bills. Yeah, she's a lot more intelligent than me, which is not saying a lot, but she's awesome.

Even the other night with the dog show that we're doing, she's like, yeah, sorry dad, I can't watch tonight. I want to go to bed early.

You're like, it's 7.30. She's like, yeah, I take a while to get to sleep sometimes. I just want to go to bed. I want to,

you're like, okay. You know, she's what, seven? Yeah, she's eight. Eight.

She's making better life decisions than I've made for my entire life so well done Indy but she comes up to me over the weekend she was quite serious she was like

dad do we still have video cameras in the garage from the TV show we have a couple of cameras you stole them didn't you

from MediaWorks if you want to know where your high quality cameras are Ben took them it's fine yeah we got some cameras in the room

she's like what about hidden cameras do we have the ability to have hidden cameras fine. Yeah, we got some cameras in the room. She's like, what about hidden cameras? Like, do we have the ability to have hidden cameras? I'm like, yeah, we got a couple of GoPros in the garage. I'm like, what's going on? He has this leading questioning eating. And I was like, oh, mate, it feels like we're doing some sort of undercover sting,

like sort of target or fair go. And then I was like, well, you know, there's laws around hidden cameras. She's like, no, this is in the house. I want to set up some hidden cameras in the house to get someone. You're like, uh-oh, because I've been getting up to some stuff when everyone's in bed. What have you seen?

What have you heard? Yeah, whereabouts are these cameras going? And she's like, I want to set them up in my room, in my bedroom. And I'm like, okay. And she was like, Christmas Eve, we set them up, and then we get footage of Santa coming in to deliver the presents. I'm like, oh. And she was like, Christmas Eve, we set them up and then we get footage of Santa coming in to deliver the presents. I'm like, oh, that's actually smart. Oh, an undercover surveillance operation on Santa.

Yeah, and I was like, that's actually a really smart idea. She's like, I want to see what Santa looks like. I probably can't stay awake. I'm tired. I want to go to bed at 7.30. Even though it's Christmas Eve, I'm not excited about it. Putting myself to bed and waking up at a sensible hour in the morning. But overnight, I would like to capture footage of Santa.

Yeah. What if you see him doing something that, you know, what if he's like rifling through your sock drawer and stealing the coins from your underpant drawer or something? Oh, then we'd have that great footage. We could really see him see something like that. The world's greatest home invasion. One night only.

And then we got talking about, you know, Santa. And obviously, you know, he's not going to quarantine though, is he, this year? You wouldn't think so? He's going to get one of those exemptions that the Easter Bunny got given from the Prime Minister, right? Well, that's like, yeah, I mean, he's going to be able to frivolously work his way around the world, like Elton John. We let him

in here with COVID. Walking in pneumonia, Ben. The guy from Tool, he was the guy. Maynard Keenan had it too. That's what he reckons in New Zealand. He might have been one of the first to have it. So yeah, you keep saying Elton John. It was Elton John. Elton John kicked it off.

You know he did. And now Sander's going to come over here. He's going to spread his filthy North Pole COVID everywhere. I haven't seen one case in the North Pole. I think they're COVID free. This guy's fine. As long as he saves with his bubble, he's fine. He's probably quite slurry

and quite drunk by the time he's arrived at our house. Because he was giving him booze, aren't they? I'd rather give him whiskey or milk. He's filled up on alcohol and milk and cookies. That's a hell

of a diet. No wonder he goes into hiding for 12 months. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Their face has lost movement over time thanks to multiple injections. You'll hear about them in this bulletin. Here's Juju with Spy.

Thank you very much. Now, the latest couple to get engaged are Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. Finally. They've been together for quite a while. I think about five or six years. Yeah, they have. Yeah, and never got engaged until this moment. So they posted a photo this morning with the big old ring.

And actually, before this all broke, I think it was overnight or yesterday, Gwen was talking about Blake and said this. I didn't know Blake Shelton existed before I went on that show. Meanwhile, he's literally like one of the biggest, you know, 27 number one radio hits. He's insane. So before they went on The Voice together, because they're both judges on The Voice,

she had no idea who he was. Because he's so big in the country music scene, which is massive in America, right? We kind of don't have that over here as big, you know? No. He seems like a good old all-American country guy. Howdy, I'm Blake Sheldon. I probably vote

for Trump. Oh, gosh. But I sing some country songs. You do a good country impression, Jono. That's all I can do. That's the only impression. I don't even think it's that good, to be honest. But he seems like a lovely bloke, Blake Sheldon, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Yeah. And I don't even think it's that good, to be honest. But he seems like a lovely bloke, Blake Shelton, doesn't he? He does. Yeah.

And I want to thank Gwen Stefani for teaching me how to spell bananas. Oh, yeah. Do you know I was always putting two N's up until her song? A-N-A-N-A. Yeah, nice. That's handy, isn't it? So she did well. She did.

We'll get more songs with spelling. Spelling. Yeah, I think it's called Sesame Street, so maybe I should tune into more of that. Yeah. Congratulations to them, too, though. And Drake, the rapper, he turned 34 a few days ago. so maybe I should tune into more of that. Yeah. Congratulations to them too, though. And Drake, the rapper, he turned 34 a few days ago and he had a big party, a dinner party with a bunch of friends. Have you seen his mansion?

No, I haven't. Is it extraordinary? Insane. Wow. It's the size of a museum. Wow. I can imagine, yeah. So he had this big dinner party,

but a photo of the menu was posted online and that's what people have got up in arms about. Everyone's riled up. What are we riled up about now? You tell me and then I'll get riled up. Okay, here we go. So the food that's on the menu. So you've got your normal stuff like your sushi, yum.

That's not the weird item on the list. So you've got your sushi and your calamari, delicious, delicious. I love how Ben's like, no, no, sushi's delicious. That's if he's offended the weird item on the list. So you've got your sushi and your calamari. Delicious, delicious. But... I love how Ben's like, no, no, sushi's delicious. As if he's offended the sushi eating community. I take it back. Anything bad I may have said about sushi in the past?

I don't want to go to the sushi shop today for lunch. The one I go to next door. And I'll spit rice in your face. You've been coming here every day. You thought you loved it. But the menu is the mac and cheese because it's got raisins in it and everyone's like

raisins are just the devil and I just want 2020 to burn to the ground. That's what people are literally saying over Drake's menu. That's an interesting choice

putting raisins in the mac and cheese. Well, we've never tried it so we don't know but it feels like something you'd serve to a four-year-old at kindergarten

but I've got the palate of a toddler. I would enjoy it. Maybe he's on to something. You know, last night I drank the remainder of a bottle of Caesar sauce. Ooh. Caesar salad dressing.

Why would you do that? There was a quarter left, and I'm like, well, it's not enough to justify another meal. So I just tipped it upside down and poured it into my mouth. Delicious. Love a Caesar dressing. You're another breed, aren't you? Yes.

You really love unique foods. I know how Drake feels then, getting lambasted for raisins and macarons. You drink a quarter of a bottle of Caesar and you're judged. What's up with him? And that is Spy. For more, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

We're on a reality TV show at the moment. We're hosting one, our first time hosting. That's called Dog Almighty. And what we thought we'd do is throw it out there. Oh, 800 the hits. Have you been on a reality TV show? Have you been a pixelated face on Police 10-7? Or have you been marrying a complete stranger

and having that relationship inevitably end up in tatters. We don't want to know what your name is or what show you're from. We want to try and guess. We'll try and work out what show you were on and I think our producer Humphrey's got someone on the phone right now. Hello? Good morning

chaps. Good morning. How are you doing? Oh look, I'm exceedingly well. Thank you. Okay. How are you doing? Oh, look, I'm exceedingly well. Thank you. Okay. Can we have a clue as to what your show might be about? Drains, rubbish, fraudsters. Trains, rubbish and fraudsters.

Name Ben Boyce's three favourite hobbies. Trains, rubbish. Inability to pay the rent. Oh, rent. name Ben Boyce's three favourite hobbies. Inability to pay the rent. Oh, rent. Even you boys couldn't miss that. Renters, renters. You got it. You're on renters. I am.

It is. It's proof. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's you. John, I was just talking about your show the other day. He loves watching it. Was that The Naked Tenant?

The Naked Tenant. The Naked Tenant? Oh, there was a lady, that's right, who was flashing herself through the window and you're like, not on TV, please. It was funny. It was. So you go around property managing, if you haven't seen Renters,

property managing in Christchurch. Indeed I do. You must see some stuff, Prue. I've seen some stuff. So if you owned a property and you wanted someone in as tenants, what things would you look for when you were talking to prospective people? A lot of it is gut instinct. Right.

And 99% of the time that works really well. But we have the ability to put people under a fair amount of scrutiny now. Thank you to the internet. Well, that's true. And social media. You know, if they're on there flagrantly sucking down a giant hooter, I don't necessarily want them in a rental. It's attachment risk.

And I'm not too keen on a meth smoker. And so what's on meth smokers? No, so what happens when someone smokes meth in a house? Like, does it actually contaminate it immediately and it has to get thoroughly cleaned? Well, it does need special cleaning. It doesn't need the jib replaced or anything, the way people all go on about it.

I went to the science of it, and thank God I did many years back. So it is actually no worse, they say, so the scientists say, to nicotine in a property which is pretty awful. You walk into a property where someone's smoked it's horrid. It's horrid. So you've got to really scrub it down and deal with those raised surfaces like the skirting boards and architraves and things like that.

What's the grossest thing you've seen, Prue? Maggots in a slow cooker. Oh. Maggots in fridges. Oh. An arm in a fridge. An arm? He had had his arm removed and he used to keep it in the fridge.

Oh, in the fridge. He'd just open it to scare us all out. I would have thought the freezer would have been a better place for that. Well, I would have thought it would have been good. I think he was only doing it just for the day. Oh, just put it in there for you guys. He brings it out. Yeah.

And he was relatively armless. Okay, funniest thing you've seen, apart from an arm and a fridge? Lieutenants, slightly mourning proud, standing at attention, as it were. Okay. Ready for the inspection. Ready to go. Okay. So he answered the door?

Very proudly. Oh, wow. Couldn't even put a doily over it, darling. It was a bit like that. Hang your handbag on it, would you prove? Yeah, well, you could have. That's right. Or your coat.

So there must be nothing that surprises you now. Two on a plate inside a cupboard. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. My goodness. I just didn't think this sort of stuff would be happening, you know, like that. Oh, darling, it's out there. I'm telling you now.

Wow. Isn't there some law around 90-day evictions? Yes, you're not allowed anymore. Can't do it now. No. If the relationship is broken down, you've still got to ride that wave. And so do you think the law favours the tenants or the owners? Certainly the tenants now. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, to a certain extent it's okay, but

for an owner of a property it can be quite difficult. So if the relationship breaks down over time, they've been in there a minute, but maybe they get a boyfriend and a woman gets a boyfriend and he's not a gentleman, put it that way. He's not a Benjamin Boyce. That's right. Not like you two. That's right.

And oh my God, I'm full of the charm. And so, you know, you can't give 90 days notice to those people if the relationship is just or they've run out of money or whatever like that. Sometimes it's by mutual consent that you sit down with them and sort of have the facts of life discussion and say, is it best we part ways? And sometimes that can work quite well, but now you're no longer allowed to enter tenancy,

even though you own the property, unless you're going to renovate, demolish, do something or sell. That is the new legislation coming up next year. Wow, that's interesting, isn't it? So it's quite hard to actually evict people. That's right, which will improve the government KPIs, the housing the homeless.

Oh, they've manipulated the law so they're looking like they're doing their own. Wagging the dog, darling. Wagging the dog. Wagging the dog, Prue. Okay. Hey, listen, lovely talking to you, Prue. Nice talking to you, boys.

And you look after yourself. Always. We'll catch you on Renters on TVNZ. And I'll catch you. Oh, yeah. See you, fruit. See you, darling. We're playing a fun little game.

You give us a call on 0800THEHITS. If you've been on a reality TV show, and we try and work out who you are, what show you've been on. I think we have someone on the phone right now. Hello, Alicia. Hello. Okay, Alicia, let's have a guess at what you've done.

Were you single and had a bunch of gentlemen vying for your love and affection? No. No. Are you an amateur builder building a house in a race against time? No. Not on the block. Okay. Were you on a show called Doctor, Is This Normal?

No. Border Patrol. Were you on a show called Doctor, Is This Normal? No. No? Border Patrol, were you on Border Patrol? No. Okay, I've got no more. Okay, what reality show were you on? Okay, so my husband and I were on New Zealand's Worst Driver. They kind of did it all over the world.

New Zealand did one back in 2004. Oh, you got up there for, like, bad driving, were you? Yeah, yeah. So you had to kind of compete against them, do these obstacles and things like that. Throw mud at your windscreen and things like that. So my husband, he's just kind of been a ruthless driver, and he would just, like, hit the trolley full of groceries

and things like that out of the way rather than stopping and moving it. So did he? He knocked the camera crew on the motorway and then got his car crushed at the end of it. And so was he named New Zealand's worst driver? He was. Oh! What an achievement.

I would actually go all right in that show. I'm not a confident driver, so that's it. Yeah. Yeah, they put fish tanks on top of your sunroof and things like that. You go over speed bumps and things like that, and the water would just gush in on it. Yeah, yeah. They'll put fish tanks on top of your sunroof and things like that. You go over speed bumps and things like that and the water would just gush in on you and, yeah. To be fair to your husband,

how many times are you driving down the road with a fish tank on your roof? Like, the odds are against the guy, but hey, we're talking to the wife of New Zealand's worst driver. No worries, thank you. Now, we've got someone else on the phone, producer Humphries Teed up. Have you been on a reality show? Good morning.

I feel like you guys have to nail this one, otherwise I'm going to be very disappointed. Oh, I think I might have got it. It's the guy from The Apprentice who turned out to be the president. Nailed it. It's Lily McManus from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

You know, mate, how are we? Not too bad, how are you? Not too bad, I'm just in Hawke's Bay at the moment actually Are you always somewhere like Oh look I'm just here, I'm living in a shed in Nelson now I'm in the Hawke's Bay doing so You know you're always doing just free loving, free caring things Lily In a gutter, in a house, in a shed

You just can't stop me really What are you doing in the Hawke's Bay now? I'm coming back to Auckland. I just spent eight months in Wanaka. And, yeah, coming back to Auckland for work. So very excited to be home. Now, is work reality TV or something else? Work is I'd have to kill you if I told you.

Oh, okay. Because, of course, when we talk about reality TV, two series of The Bachelor you've been on. Were The Bachelor and The Bachelorette? I have. It was definitely an interesting experience being on the other end of it, but I think I preferred it more. And so talk us through being on a show like, let's say, The Bachelorette.

You've got 20 guys there all vying for your attention. To be honest, from the outside looking in, it looked like we were watching a giant stag do, and then sometimes some of the guys had to go on niggly dates with the girls. Yeah, it was a very interesting, weird kind of PG orgy. It was interesting. It was very emotional, and probably a lot more emotional than people got to see.

Lots of drama, lots of emotions. You'd think for men that they wouldn't be as dramatic, but honestly, I feel like they are worse. They picked at the smallest things within each other and just made a fight about it. Obviously, you can't give away too much of what goes on behind the scenes, but how long are you guys away for? And is everyone quite isolated? I've heard things about no one's allowed access to their phones or only allowed certain times to contact, you know, do you feel like you're in this little bubble? Yeah, of course. We filmed for two months and the boys couldn't have any access to their phones. I think they had 10 minutes in the morning,

which was a stitch up to us because when I was on The Bachelor, we had no access to our phones. So they got a little bit of time to check work emails and things like that. They had no real contact with the real world, which is kind of a part of the experience. It makes them go a little bit crazy, which is, I think, what they want. And so you're still together with Richie from the show? Yeah, I am. He's outside actually packing up the car. Oh, there you go. And so beyond the TV show, I imagine, is, you know, when you finish filming,

that's maybe a couple of months ahead of when the show's airing. So do you have to keep your relationship very secretive, I imagine when you finish filming, that's maybe a couple of months ahead of when the show's airing. So do you have to keep your relationship very secretive, I imagine? We did. Honestly, even while the show was filming, we couldn't be seen anywhere. I remember me and Rich were walking from his car into his house, which is literally about six metres. And somebody drove past and Dom Harvey messaged me going, Hey, my sister just saw you with your winner walking to the house and very tempted to spoil it on radio. And I was like, mate, don't you

dare. You can't even walk out of a car with someone. It was, yeah, very top secret. Obviously, they get cameras filming you a lot of the time. Do you ever like forget about the cameras or do you always go in the back of your mind, oh, there's cameras on me? Well, look, I used to have to tell them because they come really, really close. Definitely when you pass them on TV, you can feel a giant camera burning a hole in the side of your face. Well, Lily, thank you so much for your time this morning.

We really appreciate it. It's really interesting. Yeah, from people that we've had a small taste in reality TV now with the dog show, but obviously not to the extent that you have. So thank you for sharing the insights this morning. Yeah, no, good luck to you guys. And just forget about the cameras, you know, when you're kissing the dogs on TV.

Okay, you haven't watched the show, clearly. That's right. Ben's going to marry a dog. I'm trying to find the right one for him. Yeah, I hope you guys find the love of your life. See you later. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben

on the hits. We've got a company card. Jono and Ben's company credit card. That lady always sounds so happy and like she's having the best time of her life. Well, she's now involved in credit card fraud, isn't she? Just by association. Next time she'll be like, Jono and Ben's so great. Next time she'll be like, I don't know, I'm being so crazy.

She might not be as perky once this all unravels. Now, we got sent a company credit card thanks to our work here at NZME. We've been allocated one

and so we want to spend it. Whatever money is on there, I don't know how much is on there, but we've been sending a millennial max out and about to buy some things for you guys

on our company card. Yeah, we don't know how much is on there, but I do know one thing millennial Max out and about to buy some things for you guys on our company card. Yeah, we don't know how much is on there, but I do know one thing. Debbie upstairs in finance is going to regret sending out that email offering out free credit cards. So Max right now, he's been at the petrol station this morning paying for people's

petrol. Now, Max, I understand you're outside Kmart in the mall? I am. I'm at in the mall. I'm just outside Kmart. Oh, nice. Kmart. Love Kmart. Open 24 hours. Some of the stores open at night,'m just outside Kmart. Oh, nice. Kmart. Love Kmart. Open 24 hours.

Some of the stores open at night, you know, until midnight. Oh, you can just go. You can just wander around. Ben goes Kmart shopping at sort of 11.30 at night. It's your prime time Kmart. It's a great time to wander around. What are you buying at 11.30 at night? I don't know.

Just stuff. You know, it's just nice to wander around. Little bedside tables and things. Now's a good time to go bedside table shopping when I should be in bed. Yeah. Anyway, Maxie, what we're going to do with the credit card now

is people can call us 0800-THIS. You just tell Max what you want from Kmart and it's on us. It's on the company card. Yeah, a little bit nervous. I mean, I've got to somehow run around the store doing like a bit of a, bit of a, I don't know,

check out dash. Why are you whispering like a... Yeah. Because there's no one here and the Backstreet Boys is playing in the background. Okay, Max, you need to sing the Backstreet Boys at the top of your voice in Cape Town. Absolutely not.

What's the song? Of me. Of me. There's the song? Of me. There's no one here. I'm going to go to the home section. Max is the reluctant out and about guy. Anyway, 0800 this. 0800 this. What do you want, Max, to get you on our company credit card?

We're here to Kaipo in Christchurch. Jules. Hello. You're live with Max in Christchurch. Jules? Hello. You're live with Max in Christchurch. You just talked to him. What do you want him to get you? Max, I need a new duvet cover, and if there's any extra on that company card,

get me a good mustard-coloured blanket. All right, I'm running to the bedding section. Okay, duvet cover. We're talking what size? Are we talking... Oh, we'll go queen. Yeah. Queen. Yeah. Queen.

Queen. Any particular colour jewels? Oh, preferably dark, dark leafy colours. A dark leafy forest green would go with your decor? Yes, it would. Anything velvet, I'll take as well. Ooh, velvet. Velvet.

What are you... I'm at Kmart. Are you running a brothel? Hey, it's nice to slip into some sheets like that. That sounds nice. Velvet sheets. What have we got, Maxi? I've got a wonderful leafy green quilt cover set.

Oh, that sounds good. Does it sound good? And if there are some mustard sheets there as well, grab those. Yes, yes. Sorry. Sorry, I just got the wrong size sheets. Oh, he's panicking now. He's a little bit flustered.

Alright, I've got it. I've got it. I'm running. I'm running. Hang on. Hang on. Sorry. Sorry. I'm running. Millennial Max out there with our new company credit card. We're just testing to see if it works. Jules, is there anything else you want from the checkout region? You know, your chocolates and whatnot.

I've tried to send some gum. Some gum? Okay. What flavour? What flavour gum? Oh, the green one. Oh, yeah, like the extra green. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She likes her gum like she likes her duvet covers.

All right, I'm going to check out. It's a self-service situation, isn't it? It is. So it's good for Max. He doesn't have to engage or interact with anyone. No conversation required. He'd be happy about this. Scanning.

$39. Not bad, actually. That's a bargain. That's really good. Total comes to $61. Oh, okay. Oh, it's gone up a little bit. Must have been the sheets, okay?

Yep, the sheets were $22, I think. Okay, Jules, this is when we need to say, swipe the card. Swipe the card. Swipe the card. Swipe the card. A beeping. In progress, please wait.

Approved. Yes! You have the full day set. You have some gum. All thanks to our new company, Credit Card. Oh, muchas gracias, senor. When you lay your head down on that pillow, you just think of the hits breakfast.

I will. Thank you very much. It's a disturbing thing to think about as you go to sleep, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Good work out there. Good work to you, Jules. Happy days. Happy days.

Thank you so much. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. Hey, US elections next week, obviously, Trump and Biden. And there's a lot of talk about the age of both of the presidents, actually. Donald Trump currently 74. When he entered office, he was the oldest US president in history. Oh, was he?

Right. Donald Trump, yeah. And now a large part of his campaign against Biden is sort of campaigning that Joe Biden, who's 77, would be 78 if he took office, sorry, is saying how old he is. But he's only four years older. Yeah. So he's mocking him.

Quite old to be doing this, but yeah, I guess they're trying to prove they're up to it. And Joe Biden's had a couple of little slip-ups lately. Yeah, yesterday came out, he kept calling Donald Trump, George Trump, just George. Just George. I mean, George Bush was the previous Prime Minister,

upper Prime President, you know. Might have been a connection. This is him repeatedly saying George in an interview. This is the most consequential election in a long, long, long time. And the character of the country, in my view, is literally on the ballot. What kind of country are we going to be? Four more years of Georgia, Georgia, he's going to find ourselves in a position where

if Trump gets elected, we're going to be in a different world. So, yeah, his wife's next to him there. She's like, you know how you correct, you see your parents always correcting each other. She was like, it wife's next to him there. She's like, you know how you correct? You see your parents always correcting each other. She was like, it's Donald. It's Donald. I think he thinks he's running for the president of the Lawn Bowls Club or something, Joe Biden, because then he had another ripper with his wife and his sister.

Oh, this was a while ago, right? He was on stage in front of a big crowd of people and his wife and his sister were on either side and he introduced them around the wrong way. By the way, this is my little sister Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband. Oh, no, this is my wife. This is my sister.

They switched on me. They switched on me. Don't you hate it when your wife and your sister switch on you and you forget who's who? I love that. And then he's like, and I'm Jill's husband. I mean, everything they say has been recorded. And, you know, we all slip up.

We slip up multiple times in the morning. But I want a president who's going to provide some level of comic fodder for us. And so if it's this guy forgetting his wife and his sister and mixing them up, then we'll take him happily. But I feel like if he gets in at age 78, all of the world's leaders are going to have to have their meetings by 5.30 at night. Joe's got dinner at 4.30. He's in bed by quarter to six to get an early night. But remember we did that pilot thing with an elderly gentleman who was essentially the Joe Biden of airline travel.

Oh, he'd been flying planes for many years, right? I think he was involved in Pearl Harbour. I think he flew one of the planes over Pearl Harbour this guy. You were going to do a thing called wing walking where they put you on top of a plane and then they fly up and you're pretty much just strapped to the top of a plane. Yeah, and so we met him and you were nervous anyway. When I turned up, you were a nervous wreck.

Oh, you're up there and I'm like, oh, these things could go wrong. You know, you're up there on a plane. Yeah, yeah. We don't have to point out what could go wrong when you're strapped to the wing of a plane. And I turn up and then there's this elderly gentleman and he's like, oh, I'm the pilot. Nice to meet you. And he introduced himself to me. And then I was like, hey, I'm just going to go off and get changed.

And I came back and he reintroduced himself to me. You're like,ced himself to me. The man who's going to strap me to the wing of a plane. Forgot who I was in the space of 60 seconds. I loved when you were like, would you do this? Have you done this? Meaning, would you be strapped to the plane? He's like, heck no, I'd never do that. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing quite like the thrill of being strapped to the wing of a plane by a man who probably shouldn't even drive on the roads. But it was like, hey, we made it back safely. Accelerating experience.

We'll never do that again. We were watching the video yesterday. Oh, I know. I don't know if we'll do that again. No. I don't know if HR would let you do that again. No way. Yeah.

It was a different time. They sort of just nailed on a couple of bolts, you know, like bolted on a couple of things on a missile thing and sort of put you up on a plane. Oh, yeah, wild time. I mean, just four minutes ago, all we were trying to get Max to do was sing the Backstreet Boys kind of loud in Kmart. He's like, no one's around, but he still won't do it.

Times have changed. Yeah, for the better. For the better. Yeah, I think so. You're right. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas and this is the Beeping News. Hey, this is the News and Beeps. We're going to do the News and Creeps with just a creepy guy reading out news headlines. Yeah, g'day, US election coming up. And we decided, no, this is a far better option, which is producer Juliet beeping out certain words from news headlines. We have to figure out what they are. Yes, no, this is a far better option, which is producer Juliette beeping out certain words from news headlines. We have to figure out what they are. Yes, your first one is...

Man covers body in 60 kgs of... Biggest world record. In 60 kgs of something. Wow. 60 kgs of skin? Not quite. I'm going 60 kgs, maybe one of Dwayne The Rock Johnson's quads. His quad muscles.

That'd be 60 kgs, wouldn't it? Oh, my goodness. I'm guessing. One of Dwayne The Rock Johnson's quads, his quad muscles. That would be 60 kgs, wouldn't it? Oh, my goodness. I'm guessing. One of Dwayne's quads and one of Ben Boyce. Yeah, one of me. Yeah, true. Man covers body in 60 kgs of bees for Guinness World Record. Literally covering his whole body, just a massive swarm of bees.

That's because bees generally, I don't know if you know this, not that heavy on their own. So 60 kilograms worth must have been hundreds of thousands. It's a lot. He's just standing there while people are pouring bees over and over and over him. Apparently, but I don't know if this is true because surely not, he got out unscathed, didn't get stung. But I'm like, that's surely a young...

Well, it doesn't get me to remain calm, but it'd be very hard to do it when you've got 60 kgs of bees on you. But maybe... Nothing makes you more unsettled than someone going, calm down. Calm down. I am calm! I know, in the middle of an argument,

just calm down. Didn't you once have spiders crawling over your face or something? We had tarantulas and things. Once you're there, you're in the moment, you know. There's nothing you can do then. Yeah, but it's when they move around.

We had, we had Clyde Pace came in the studio a few weeks ago. Oh, yeah. And then one would, we had a spider on our arm and it would walk up

and it was fine and then it gets your neck and you go, you know. Yeah. It's very scary. Exactly. Alright, next one.

Oreo builds asteroid-proof bunker in Norway filled with to save humanity. This is Oreo biscuits? Mm-hmm. I reckon they built a bunker full of Tim Tams to save humanity. This is Oreo biscuits. I reckon they built a bunker full of Tim Tams

to save humanity. I reckon they had chocolate wafers on the outside and a creamy filling inside. Quite close. Oreo builds asteroid-proof bunker in Norway filled with cookies and milk to save humanity. That's pretty close. I know, and I was researching it

and not too far away from this bunker is another bigger bunker, which is legitimately filled with millions of seeds in case humanity ever needs them to regrow crops and stuff. I was going to say, wouldn't they be better instead of cookies and milk having canned, non-perishable items, a vast supply of water? They've also put the recipe for Oreos in there as well, in case humanity ever needs it again. Oh, really? Yeah, they're desperate to save it.

If it's the one thing that survives in this world, it'll be Oreos. And the 11 secret herbs and spices, the recipe's also in there as well. Yeah. And the final one. Raccoon robbers break into bank to steal... Money? So raccoons, did they steal the... Trying to steal the pens that are attached by the metal, you know...

Have they still got the metal things on the pens? On the counter, those things that you can never quite reach over. But yeah, maybe those. That would be a bit of a task. Raccoon robbers break into bank to steal cookies. Similar vibe to the Oreo story. Yeah, we're heavy on the cookie content today, Juju. Maybe I was hungry when I was reading these.

But yeah, they got through some air vents and were just like, screw the money, just going straight for the cookies. That's what I would do if I'd robbed a bank. I'd be like, I don't need the money, I just want some air vents and were just like, screw the money, just going straight for the cookies. That's what I would do if I'd robbed a bank. I'd be like, I don't need the money, I just want some cookies. I'm hungry. Yeah, but if you're going to go for food, the bank's probably not the place. That's what I'd do if I robbed a bank.

I'd definitely go for the cookies. What? It's a shocking decision. It's really hard to get into just to get the food. You're risking a lot for some cookies. Yeah, true. True. Maybe I'd just rob a supermarket instead.

That was the News and Beats with producer Julia. Thank you, matey. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Wild accusations flying round the prior bedroom first thing this morning. Middle of the night accusations. Crazy stuff.

So I wake up, usual alarm goes off and my alarm woke up, my wife up at the same time. She's not happy with me. I'm like, what have I done here? What's going on? Apart from the fact you're getting up at quarter to four. And the alarms woke her up.

Yeah. But she was like, you stole my car in my dream. And I was like, okay. And then she was frustrated with me in real life for something that I'd done in her dream. So I'd been involved in a car heist, taking her car, which in theory is my car as well. We're married.

We share. We're in a long-term relationship. And so, yeah, she was not happy. But then she was sort of half asleep as well. And, yeah, I was in the dog box for stealing. Have you been accused of anything you've done in a dream before and then had to deal with it the next day? Yeah, I've been like seeing other people around town in a dream before.

The man woke up and was like, oh, you were cheating on me in my dream? Yeah, and I was like, well, I clearly did nothing wrong, like in real life. Yeah, like I'm here now. I was here with you all night. Oh, yeah, but last night in the dream, you were off to it. And I was like, whoa. What were you doing in the dream? I know, I kept going, well, who was that?

What was I up to? Was I good? I didn't get to know any of those details. All I got to know was I was... A barrage of anger. And I was like, well, hey, I'm not like that in real life. But yeah, it's funny how you get like that. You come out of a dream and you're like, oh, my God, that person upset me.

How about you, Juliet? Well, it's an observation I've picked up because I've definitely you get like that. You come out of a dream and you're like, oh my God, that person upset me. How about you, Juliet? Well, it's an observation I've picked up because I've definitely had dreams like that with other people where I wake up and I'm like, oh, you little. But then I also feel like commonly, and I don't know if this is just a generalisation, it seems to always be women who have the dreams

about other people. Like I've never come across, have you guys ever had dreams where you wake up angry at other people? I don't know why, because usually I'm like, oh yeah, you did that wrong, you did that wrong. But a male, like, dad never has bad dreams about mum. You know? I can't remember the last time

I dreamed, actually. Really? Nah. Wow. I don't really remember my dreams, but it's funny when, the other thing I find about dreams, when you talk to someone, you're like, oh, I had a dream about you last night, even before you got into it. And everyone's like, oh, yeah. Here I was.

Yeah, it's like, why automatically? And then you go, oh, no, it wasn't like that. You know, but it's funny. Round work, I was like, I had a dream about last night. Oh, here we go. Here we go. No, we always assume it's a dream about us being a stud or a stallion of some description.

It was like, but you did have a dream. It was like, no a stallion of some description. You didn't have a dream. No, you were shocking. You started weeping in the corner afterwards. You were embezzling funds at work. And you had a tail. It was a long court case and stuff. It was, yeah. Well, there we go.

So just here's a message to those waking up early this morning. If you've dreamed about your partner last night, definitely hold it against them in real life as well. Make them pay for it. All day. Real life repercussions. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Simon Dallow, Samantha Hayes, Mike McRoberts. He's up there with all of the great 6 o'clock news readers. The only problem is his bulletin's at 6 in the morning. Yeah, 6 in the morning, true. It is the 6am bulletin. We get in first with the news and the Green Party.

There's still in talks with Labour about forming a coalition. Now, Labour don't need the Greens really to govern, but they're having conversations, anything, and talks have been going for a while. And they seem to be focusing quite a lot about the snacks, the biscuits that are available in the meetings when they come out and talk to the press. Here was a few days ago when the media talked to Marama Davidson,

Green Party leader. We had some fruitful discussions. What was on the table was Krispies and a cup of tea and coffee. Do love a Krispie. That's your coconut biscuit with the triangle jagged edges on the outside. It's a good biscuit. It's a good biscuit with a dunking and a tea. But then yesterday the talks escalated.

They upgraded. Have a listen. Happy to take some questions. What developments occurred today that you can share with us? We saw an immediate upgrade in biscuits from crispies to mellow puffs. So a little bit more sugar and a little bit more cream. I thought they would have had some hemp based

biscuit the Green Party on the table. Yeah, well, maybe they're not doing the catering. Maybe the Labour Party are doing it. And they're like, Green Party, how many subsidised dreamcatchers are we going to get? No, that's a stereotype, isn't it? We actually had Marama and James from the Green Party in here a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, they did, they were great. Lovely people. What I found interesting was, like, all their green policy. They're like, no, people don't understand. We realise that it's quite hard to become eco-friendly and expensive. So they don't expect everyone to start wandering around

in marijuana underpants or whatever they're proposing. So they understand it, which I found interesting. But the goal is obviously to start changing these things. Make the planet a better place and Ben Boyce the Labour Party, why aren't they governing alone? Why are they heading into a coalition? Yours, please.

Well, apparently there's someone to blame. That's the word on the street, right? Yeah, that's what I heard. I heard the same thing. Jacinda wants to get the Greens in there so that when it goes to custody, she can point fingers at them. Shouldn't have had them in there. Something I thought was really interesting as well,

out of the press meetings yesterday, Martima Davidson had, you could see the top of her notes, something highlighted on one of her notes from the meeting, and it had leap of faith was one of the things there. So whether she was something she brought up, whether she was going bungee jumping later that day, I don't know, but that was one of the things that she had written in one of her notes from the meeting.

Maybe she was like, hey, tomorrow I might try and do a leap of faith and ask for macaroons day three of biscuit chat we'll keep you up to date with this. Daylight Savings is in the UK this weekend and spare a thought to those who work in the Palace for the Queen now she has got so many clocks

around the Palace that they reckon it will take staff collectively 40 hours 40 hours to change 1,000 clocks. By the time they're finished, they need to change the back to the other time. Yeah, there's one poor guy that reckons he'll spend 16 hours this weekend changing 400 clocks just by himself.

Prince Philip's like, there's no point. My time's running out anyway. Oh, totally, yeah. So there you go. So that's how long it's going to take. Oh, totally. Yeah. So there you go. So that's how long it's going to take. Do they go forward or back? They'll go back for winter, yeah? Oh, yeah.

They'll be the opposite to us, right? Yeah. Because not everyone has daylight savings. That's what we discussed a few weeks ago. We did, actually. Yeah. Some people don't do it. Parts of Gold Coast doesn't have it.

Australia. We love it, hey? We love it. Well, we do. My daughter, Andy, thought it was just a day thing. She got to the end of daylight savings. She was like, that was fun, Daylight Saving. So I was like, oh, it carries on.

It's not like Christmas Day or, you know, like Halloween. She's like, oh, okay. Some of my clocks, I can't be bothered changing. I just ride it out to the next one. Six months later, it'll be, right? Yeah, once every six months of my time's right. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my hits.

Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz.. Alright, here's a bunch of celebrity trash. Like, literal trash. He's fiddled through Taika Waititi's rubbish bin overnight and now we'll find out what he's had for dinner. Not quite Taika Waititi, unfortunately, but

time to kind of get some roasting going on for the Royals. Harry and Meghan specifically. I'm usually one to be quite fair on them. You're pro-Ral, you're a royalist. Yes, but apparently George and Amal Clooney, so they went to their wedding back in 2018, but it's just surfaced that they did not know Harry and Meghan

when they went to their wedding. Oh, at all? They told, I think, Princess Diana's former flatmate who attended the wedding, saying, oh, how do you know Harry and Meghan? We don't. And so it's like, oh my God, did they just invite famous people just for the wedding, saying, oh, like, you know, how do you know Harry and Meghan? We don't. And so it's like, oh, my God, did they just invite famous people just for the show,

just for the look of it? Well, I would. If I could invite George and Amal Clooney to my wedding, I would. Yeah. It's good street talk, isn't it? John, David Beckham, you'd be like, I've sent out invitations, they probably wouldn't come, but at least you know.

And on George and Amal's part, they're probably like, oh, I've got to pay for flights. I've got to get them a wedding if they've got a wishing well. I imagine it was quite a lovely, generous act on their behalf to even turn up to the wedding. True, but it's probably a good place to be seen as well. If I was seen at Harry and Meghan's wedding, I'd never let anyone hear the end of it.

There were big bangers there. Oprah was there, wasn't she? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you now wonder, did they all know? Did Oprah know them? Or was it just a convenient guest list? A friend of mine wanted, she wanted Samantha Hayes from the news

to be her maid of honour. And I was like, do you know her? And she's like, no, but she was going to ask her. I was like, you can't just ask a random person to be. And there was a guy at work who wanted Dan Carter to be like his groomsman. We got asked to MC a wedding for Phil, who was the listener of an old radio show that we used to do.

And we ended up doing it. We never met him. He was a great guy. Phil and Colleen got married. And, yeah, it was great. That was fun at the Manurewa Kozi Club. It was a great afternoon. But it was interesting tuning up, not knowing it.

In fact, I don't think we'd met him in real life until we'd actually turned up on the wedding. Yeah, he was pretty casual. He's like, I'll just get up there and say a few words. And so we fumbled our way through. We don't have relatable stories that you can go I remember that time that all we had was remember the time you rang up on the radio and asked us

to emcee your wedding and we were like, yeah, why not? I remember that time four minutes ago we met. He was a lovely couple, weren't they? Yeah, that was great. Great bunch of people. It was a fun afternoon, wasn't it? It was really cool. Love a bit of spontaneity. Yeah, it was good. He did a good play too because he called us on air in January. Yeah. He was like, Great bunch of people. It was a fun afternoon, wasn't it? It was really cool. Love a bit of spontaneity, eh? Yeah, no, it was good. He did a good play too because he called us on air in January.

Yeah. He was like, what are you doing in December? It was so far out for us to go, oh, we've got something on. So we're like, yeah, we could do this. And that was fun. It was a bloody good day. No regrets.

So if you want us to emcee your wedding, text 4487. And a leaked song of Dua Lipa and Kanye West has come out from a recording from 2018. It's called Law of Attraction. And it's kind of a low-key song. But how many songs would be recorded and not released? No, everyone's having it all the time for the big artists.

They probably just churn them out. Yeah. It's probably the amount of stuff They probably just churn them out. Yeah. Imagine all the, it's probably like the amount of stuff we talk every day on the radio. 80% of it, I wish it was never released. Yeah, that's right. But yeah, right.

So this is a couple of years ago. Yeah, a couple of years ago. It's just gone crazy on Twitter. And I mean, they're probably two of the biggest artists and two of the biggest, yeah, at the moment, I would say.

So, I mean, everyone's going crazy for it. And also speaking of Kanye, he has gone on the Joe Rogan podcast and said, oh yeah, I would say. So, I mean, everyone's going crazy for it. And also, speaking of Kanye, he has gone on the Joe Rogan podcast and said, oh, yeah, I'm 100% winning the 2024 election. Yeah, he left the paperwork too late for this run, didn't he? Oh, yeah, right. So he's saying next time.

Yeah, he's saying he's 100% going to win it. He's got full faith in himself. So you can vote for him in some states, but not all of them or something, right? Yeah. And, I mean, if the guy from The Apprentice can get in the White House, then Kanye West 2024 is happening. Yeah, exactly.

He's been great. He'll be the first president in Crocs. Kanye's got his Crocs, doesn't he? Yeah. First president that doesn't smile ever. Oh, yeah. He doesn't really smile. No, he doesn't.

He's not a smiler. No, if you look at him, he'll either be really, really happy, but then completely change and just look really sad. Victoria Beckham never smiles either. No. I suppose when you're smiling and you're getting photos taken of you when you're wandering out of a restaurant or something, sometimes your smile never looks good.

So you're best to just have a resting bitch face, right? It's a safe play. Well done, Kanye. Well done, Victoria Beckham. You're being good at being famous. And that's Spy for More. You can go to the hit stock cut at NZ. Got to go home and feed the lizard.

Today we caught a lizard over the weekend. It was roaming around the house, and my kids are deprived of a pet. I haven't bought them a dog, so this poor lizard is trapped in a glad container with glad wrap over the top with holes. We feed it flies and things, so that's what I'm going to do now. Well, you enjoy that. You go home and you feed the lizard. Feed my lizard.

We'll catch you guys tomorrow from six. Have a great Wednesday wherever you are in New Zealand.