Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - One country is re recording all their music!

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  Today we dive into the country of Chechnya, who are banning music that they consider too fast or slow... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on the Wild Wild Web. Some of your favourite pop songs, including songs from Taylor Swift, have been banned in Chechnya. But why? Welcome to the untamed realm of the World Wide Web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the Wild Wild Web. They're clogging up a valuable... Do you know the internet's... What are they saying? Because all this information, everything we put on the internet, all those photos of food and nudes and everything, has to go somewhere.

There must be giant hard drives somewhere. Yeah, there are, aren't there, in deserts? Just massive warehouses of these drives. Holding everything on the internet. Just all the information, yeah. We've always said it's due a spring clean. It is. It would be nice to do it.

Like they do at the fridge at work. A defrag. They put the note on, they're like, everyone needs to clear out their stuff by Friday. You're like, all choice of it is to delete some of the old sketches. Maybe that's just what the internet should do. Whoever's running it goes, hey guys, we're doing clear out. Anything you want to keep, drag onto your computer.

Because we're wiping the whole thing. The whole thing. Starting again. It's pretty bris risky having all those warehouses like who's not a fan of the internet and a lot of things on it China

yeah well they've kind of got their own I guess they've kind of got their own yeah so no one's in a position to really take it out anyone who comments

under a Jono and Ben video yeah yeah I'm going to just go where is all the info it's in a don't they have a few in different deserts? They must have a few, eh?

Because otherwise, you're right, someone could take down, like drop a bomb on that. But everyone's got fingers in the internet, so no one wants to take it out, really. Yeah, true. Actually, everyone is on the web, really. I mean, as you said, China's kind of got their own sort of thing going on.

I mean, they're still on the web. They've just got their own social media type things, right? And how would we buy stuff from Teemu? It's very good. Bloody love Teemu, eh? Teemu's a... I've resisted this long. Yeah, resisted.

Yeah, once you get into a Teemu hole, you're like... It's going to get to a point where I'm just going to message you guys and be like, can you buy this for me on Teemu? What you've got to do is the thing you like,

add to cart, add to cart, add to cart, and then you end up Looking at your cart And you're like No No No No You should spend a day

Just adding to cart And then bring it to us The next day on the show And be like What have you What have we found from Teemu Maybe that's tomorrow's Wild Wild Web

We can each We can each add stuff To the Teemu cart Okay See if we want to buy anything For the show Do I have to sign up To add to cart

Or just when I purchase Because you know I'm resisting. There's some wild things on there. Look, it's very simple. This is how they store information from the internet. In very simple terms, each web address that starts with something like http://

after that is the name of the computer on which the website is stored. So on multiple computers around the world. I guess if you have a website, you would sign up to a server to host that website, and that server would have their own computer and hard drive set up, I imagine, storage facility. Yeah, right. So basically, very big websites might share their data

across dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of computers around the world. It's pretty incredible how the technology, I remember as a kid going to my stepdad, he used to run a printing place in Wellington. And he would go in there and the room, he was like, check this out, it's a computer. And it was like a whole room was the computer. It was filled up the entire room.

And now it's like you'd have more space on your phone than that computer and probably run a lot faster. It feels weird Googling where is the internet stored. It does feel a bit odd. So the internet's like, hey, let's not pull the curtain too much. Yeah, and to be fair, it's quite cagey on the exact location, which I understand. I just want to tell you. Now, today's actual news story from the internet we've found.

So it takes us to Chechnya, which we've looked into. It's a republic of Russia. Yeah, so it seems like it's part of Russia from what I gather. They had some times where it wasn't part of Russia, but now it's part of Russia. This sounds very political. I'll take you inside a political meeting in Russia, in Chechnya, and they decided, and I'm still to figure out why,

but they're going to limit all musical, vocal, and choreographic compositions, so all music, to a tempo of 80 to 116 beats per minute. So it's that. So nothing too slow and nothing too fast. So you won't be chewing your face off at a drum and bass gig in Chechnya. No, also you won't be listening to quite a few of Lewis Capaldi's songs either. Yeah, you'll be like, all right, Capaldi, speed this up just a little bit.

All right, here you go. I mean, there might be something in this. Like, just come on, let's pick up the pace a little bit. But not too much. Not too much. It says, so the dance creations align with the Chechnyan mentality and musical rhythm. Maybe they've got their dance sorted. They're like, hey, don't mess with us.

We move to a certain beat. Yeah, well, that's something. There might be something in it. Wrecking Ball from Miley Cyrus wouldn't be allowed. Too fast, too slow. Rumour has it. I think too slow. Too slow. Rumour has it, I think Too Slow. Too Slow.

Rumour has it, Adele, Too Fast. DJ I Got Us Falling In Love from Usher. Dreams, Fleetwood Mac. These are just some of the songs that wouldn't be allowed. But I guess you could change them

subtly to get to that speed, right? Well, they have given local artists until June to re-record their music to bring it up or down to speed. Okay. It's a question of years. Until June? What's April, May, June, June? Pretty quick turnaround for everyone to re-record their music to bring it up or down to speed. Okay. It's a question of years. It's till June.

What's April, May, June, June? It's a pretty quick turnaround for everyone to re-record their music. Book the studios, go and record it. You're like, oh, do I need to? Because I was like, well, what's the most popular BPM, beats per minute of a pop song? It's between 100 and 130. So they're cutting it off at 116.

You're saying too fast. There's a speed limit for pop songs. Yeah. You can't over the limit. I'm sorry, Derulo, you're going to have to pull over. What happens if you've got your music streaming services and you've downloaded the songs? Are you allowed to enjoy Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball?

I don't know. How does that work? I'm trying to sound cool here. Or Fred again? Yeah, Fred again. It's not cool when I say Fred again. Fred again wouldn't be allowed. Too fast.

We had a question a while ago, actually, on radio. It was like, and I'll ask you this one, Megan, because this is before you joined the show. Okay. So if an alien comes down to Earth. Oh, no. Never experienced, he's like, oh, what's going on here? Firstly, where's the internet stored?

That was the first question. Deezit. Multiple computers across. I don't know. Yeah. computers across yeah second question is like what's music like like when we're talking to him about this whole church chetian thing and i have to pick and he's like oh what's music he was like oh i've never heard music you can i hear music what would be the one song you're like oh here's the song that you need to hear oh what was the song what's the first thing you go to represent everything or just the song i've never heard first thing you go? To represent everything or just the song I like? I've never heard anything.

Like you're talking, I heard you talking about, I don't know what hip hop is, I don't know what rock is, I don't know what classical, I don't know. Are you the alien in this? Yeah, I am.

Okay, so there you go. Immediately I was like Harry Styles. But then I'm like, do you play like Bohemian Rhapsody because it goes over different things or do you play Mozart? If you've never, because I've never,

I'm the alien now. I've never heard music before. There's a lot of responsibility on me. Huge responsibility. Or do you just go, here's some Gangnam Style. Yeah, don't really mess with it.

Baby Shark or something. Yeah. He's like, ah, no, anything. I don't want to hear music ever again. You're like,

oh, okay, well, you won't. Yeah, because we put this out, I said, the hits audience,

it's really interesting, the song that came back. I mean, lots of songs came back, but the number one. What was the one? What a Wonderful World. Not without all the applause. Oh, that's sweet.

Why don't the audience always outdoes us? I was like Gangnam Style. I mean, we work for a radio station, Jono. You could have played it on the... Yeah. Rather than off your phone. Play it off his laptop. Yeah.

That's a gorgeous song. I mean, it's a lovely, lovely song. And it was one that surprised us, took us back, because obviously not a song that we would play on the hits. I think we actually played it at the end of it. We were like, well, let's play it. What? Jeez, do you know that's the only YouTube video

where I don't see a thumbs down? Really? Over two million thumbs ups, not one single thumbs down. People love a thumbs down. I just want to give it a thumbs down to be the only thumbs down, but I won't. We're just going to take a little break from the Wild Wild Web, and we'll be back after this. Welcome back.

You know the mix of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World? Oh, for the Hawaiian singer that sings that, yeah. Yeah. Israel, yeah. Israel with the name I don't want to mispronounce. Yeah, yeah. That's a beautiful song as well.

Incredible, incredible song, eh? With pretty much just him and the ukulele. That's lovely. Yeah, you're right. That's a lovely song. Yeah. So I'd probably still back in What a Wonderful World. I mean, it's a nice song. If you're like, I'm back in What a Wonderful World. I mean, it's a nice song.

If you're like, I'm in the alien, I'm like, oh, that's not like music. I know, but again, do we want the alien? That was just a Pantera, mate. See, we're like that. You're like, oh, that's a bit different. Do we want the alien to stay or do we want them to go? Here's some Diddy. Oh, yeah, I quite like this guy.

Oh, well, let me tell you a bit more about him. Oh, oh. I don't know what I feel about that song now. Allegedly, okay. He's taking it as that. Allegedly, okay. Allegedly, allegedly. The alien's like,

he's downloaded quite a lot of information. A lot to take on board. So do I need to think about the person behind the song, or what's the story? Yeah, I'm the alien again. Or can I just enjoy music on that level? That's an interesting debate.

there's this guy, R. Kelly, but the song was a bit of a banger. It was a couple of ignition and, you know, I believe I can fly. But at the same time, horrible, horrible things. But you're an alien. There's a few in there.

You're just taking the music at face value. No, I'm going to take it. Well, make me a mixtape. Heal the World, Michael Jackson, great song. I'll take it back home. Mixtape. You put together a mixtape. I'll take it back.

I'll take it back and I'll play it to all myape. I'll take it back. I'll take it back. And I'll play it to all my alien mates. We'll play it. We'll go, this is music. Play it in the spaceship on the way back. I don't want to know about any of the indiscretions of the artists. Chris Brown. Oh, jeez.

This is a cancelable episode, isn't it? Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror. I didn't do it. Man in the Mirror is a beautiful song, too. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of great songs by some people. It's an interesting debate, isn't it? Whether you can separate the person from the art, whether they're a comedian, whether they're a movie,

whether they're a musician. There's a whole lot of stuff that's, you know. Yeah. What, separate the person from the art? Well, no, clearly we can't. No, can you still appreciate that, you know? I think Jerry Seinfeld talks about comedians that have been cancelled and the debate

about whether you can still appreciate and in terms of a radio station are you still allowed to play the songs

well I think we shied away we got cold feet with Michael Jackson for a while but then we were like all's forgiven but in that respect

he's not benefiting from the music well he's gone now hasn't he yeah so i mean we can can we still appreciate it and what where did that eventuate i guess the with the you know there was obviously some horrible horrible accusations made around him but there was no court case no thing nothing proved no conclusion so i guess it kind of left everything up to yeah everyone's interpretation which is interesting our interpretation was we won't play

Man in the Mirror for a few months and then we'll slide it back whereas R. Kelly he's obviously he's got in jail and stuff

and horrible stuff he's done you mentioned Chris Brown previously horrible stuff with Rihanna and people are still

a lot of people still very gun shy of Chris Brown yeah but he still benefits from the music I see so your issue is

if they're profiting off yeah yeah right so you're essentially paying a a criminal yeah

I didn't want to say the word but yeah I guess that's my point can you can the person be forgiven can the person be forgiven and we move on can they learn from their

yeah it depends on what they've done it really does depend on a lot of what they've done. Yeah, yeah. Because we're talking about some people, not, you know, like I've done some horrible stuff. I think people can change and people can be forgiven.

But also like in that scenario, I'm not the person that needs to forgive them. No, that's a good way of looking at it. That's a great way to say it. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Well done. But the internet will,

they'll have their opinions, won't they? The internet will always have an opinion. Yeah. I don't think we ever, if someone has slipped up, who's talking, oh, that Einstein thing

that we played the other day. Albert Einstein did a thing in front of students and he did the nine times table and he got it all correct. He wrote it on the board, he got it all correct until he did nine times 10

and he wrote 91 and he got that answer wrong and the whole class was like, ah, Einstein, you idiot. You bloody, you fucking fucking idiot that's what the kids would be saying and they would have made a meme out of him and then he let that all that calm down and went isn't that funny the eight other equations i got correct no one congratulated me on but the one i I slipped up on, everyone piled in on. Oh, there's a great experiment there from Einstein.

Yeah. And we do pile on people so easily. And shit, I'll hand up, I've probably been guilty of making gags about people when they slip up. I have not probably, have, multiple times. Just did one on Diddy moments ago. I mean, that's quite a big slip up. Over decades.

Allegedly. Allegedly. But, you know. That's an interesting lesson, though, because when I got divorced, when you end up in a divorce or a breakup like that, everyone takes sides, just naturally. Family members and friends. Yeah, and I was on a public radio station when it happened.

And I think you get so much judgment and there's so much rumor. I said to myself, I'm never going to judge other people's relationships. And even people who have made mistakes, I'll always give people the benefit of the doubt. Good on you. Because you don't know what's going on in people's relationships. You don't know. Not everyone makes mistakes.

What do you mean? Were people publicly piling going on in people's relationships. You don't know. Everyone makes mistakes. What do you mean? Were people publicly piling in on your divorce? Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh, right. And my new relationship with a much younger man comes with a lot of judgment. Oh, shit. We've made jokes about that too.

Oh, but no, I don't. I honestly don't. I don't care. I don't care. But, you know, like I always just thought I'm not going to judge anyone anymore. Good on you. Fair enough. Going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah. And I have never thought of your relationship in that way, Megan. Thanks. I honestly don't mind. Was it tough when you first started going out? Yeah. Yeah, I can't imagine. We've come in pretty late to the piece where it's, you know.

Oh, and I'm so. You've got kids and you're married and you're all that stuff, you know. But I guess imagine at the start there were people i don't think we'd have been coming with jokes like day one like cougar toy boy all of that kind of jazz but like even people and senior roles in our lives shall i say uh flat out told us that we were not to be together. What, management? Yeah. Really? And on both sides. Really? Yeah.

Told us we couldn't be together. And if we were going to hang out, we needed to not post about it anywhere. I was like, oh, give it a rest. Jesus, we're not in bloody Hollywood. Give it a rest. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know any of that.

Yeah. Funny. Well, haven't you And your uterus Showed them I know And also like We could never break up Because everyone was like

Yeah I told you Lasted longer than we thought Yeah you're like Secretly we hate each other But we're actually I know we're stuck here now Well that's Well that's really interesting Megan

Thank you for sharing that Well but Ben I know you went through Your court case And you're like The media coverage Of your court case You were like Would have been brutal oh yeah it's pretty i mean and yeah again i did stupid things so a lot you know i can't like sit here and go oh poor me but

yeah but experiencing that firsthand was a real game changer for me you know to go shit it's relentless and yeah and every person every facet of your life you know like i was the idiot that kind of screwed up. And we went to, if you don't know, sorry, I've probably talked about this many times. We've just joined about the court case. It was a TV sketch, went wrong. Dressed guy as a pilot, went to the airport.

And, you know, it was meant to be a funny thing, but it turned out to be not funny because it was all over the media. But yeah, they're talking to your mom, they're talking to your dad, they're knocking on your door. They're all sorts of, you know, like, you know, it's like, wow,

being in the storm of the center of this hurricane is a weird place to be and suddenly like a whole lot of character assassination happens yeah yeah at all comments are brutal and people say this opinions on who you are as a person you're like i made one mistake yeah bringing my mom and my mom don't say anything to the media and then she rings that bell well i got wrong and i did say oh what did she say oh he's a lovely boy i still love him or something mum like which is lovely and then the story was mom supports criminal son or something along those lines you're like oh yeah yeah yeah and so yeah all that sort of stuff it's a weird yeah it's a weird indication of that yeah i mean it's a long life to live right people will always make mistakes and i'm not you know there

are some very bad things that people do i'm not over underselling that but you know like people make mistakes yeah and within reason like yeah can we forgive them well like you say is it for us to forgive them all the people that have been affected by it to forgive them well yeah i feel like that it was a good point you raised before you know a lot of the time the people deciding, seem to be deciding whether people get forgiven or not, are not the people that it affects.

No. And a lot of the times the people who sometimes get offended for people are not the people that you're like, why are you getting offended for this person? Being offended on behalf.

Do you know, there's something to be said for when people ask your opinion on something. There's something to be said for saying, I'm not educated enough. I don't know enough about that to pass comment.

I know, but then we wouldn't have a radio show. Well, we're not hard-hitting opinions. No. But you're right. It's fine to hold your opinion sometimes. Something you say on the internet. You don't have to comment. I don't agree with a lot of stuff I say on the internet, but I'm never going to go,

oh, I'm going to make a comment now. And I think forgiveness is not the same as saying something's okay. Yeah, true. Forgiveness is not the same as being like, oh, what you did was fine. Yeah. It's just saying, hey, we make mistakes and people have got to move on. Oh, it's a very deep one today with the Wawa Web. We started with beats per minute music, went into some weird alien sort of role play,

and then we ended up... Had some Louis Armstrong emailing up here. Yeah, then we talked about Megan's forbidden relationship that's still together. We didn't delve into what Jono's done wrong in his life. We'll save that for another. That's a whole podcast series. Save that for the next podcast on the Wild Wild Web.