Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - OnlyFans...

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Welcome to the untamed realm of the world's Wild Wild Web!  On this edition we learn we delve into the crazy stories happening around the world including Only Fans...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the Wild Wild Web, what happens when a 26-year-old and a 68-year-old have a baby? Welcome to the untamed realm of the World Wide Web. A swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides. Leading you through the wildest parts of the Wild Wild Web. This is the Wild Wild Web. Yes, caught up. Welcome to the Wild Wild Web, the WWW.

Do you remember when you used to, you'd give out the full address, like the HTTPS colon slash slash? Well, yeah, I never got to do the HTTPS, but definitely the WWW. WWW. It took us a while to get our heads around. Oh, you just needed to say that. You don't need to worry about the www. You're right. My website is www.

Mayor Butcher. Mayor Butcher has been very good to us over the years. Wonderful New Zealander, Mayor Butcher. He did 80 the other day too. 80? Wow. You're right. He's been very, very generous with his time over the years.

Crazy. Not just to us, to thousands of organizations and people. Very, very generous. Charities, yeah. Gee whiz. It always goes on about the fact that he reckons I made him eat dog roll in a sketch. In his Audi. And he didn't want to tell you it was his Audi because he's a very humble man.

I know. We did this scene many years ago and we were like, oh, we wanted to eat various sorts of meat as he was driving along coming to see us. And it was kind of like The Sopranos. He was like a Tony Soprano. So if you've ever seen The Sopranos, there's the scene in the opening. It's him, Tony Soprano, driving. I think he's driving from New Jersey in towards New York

or somewhere around New Jersey. And we were like, we'll get the butcher to drive from out in Mangere where his business is from into town and we'll get some things along the way like him eating various bits of meat. And one of them was luncheon sausage, like a whole bit of luncheon sausage, you know, was one of them. And he's like, it's dog roll, mate. And I was like, it's not dog roll.

It's not like a roll of champ or anything. No, it wasn't. And he was like, you're stitching me up. And he didn't want to get all over the car. He said, my mate's got to be so upset. And I was like, oh, because, mate, he's really worried about his mate's car. But it turned out it was his car. And, yeah, he was just very humble about it. Yeah. And then he turned up in the scene and we were like, oh, because mate, he's really worried about his mate's car. But it turned out it was his car. And yeah, he was just very humble about it.

Yeah. And then he turned up in the scene. He was like, well, what happened? And we said, whatever. And he was like, oh, you're fucked, mate. And then off he went. That was his line. He got back in, laughed, and away he went.

He would always go, dump, dump. Yeah. Dump, dump, dump, dot, man, butch. And when you have to say the three w's in a row it does it does it's not natural no you just say w w w dot anyway we've got over that now and we've moved on uh now we're worried about robots taking over the world yeah i heard something the other day actually though the um my friend who works in it he's like hype cycle is the thing they talk about um which is he said that you watch it and you watch, things will be part of the hype cycle

where everything is hyped and everything goes crazy and then all of a sudden it drops away. You don't hear from it for ages. And then somewhere in the middle is where it usually balances out. You know, people talk about,

oh, you've got to get NFTs and you've got to get this and it's like AI. And he reckons AI at the moment is in the hype cycle. Everyone's like, AI, AI, AI. And then all of a sudden

you'll forget about it and then it'll kind of balance out and be in the right place and then people will use it so that's good he's he's quite confident because i was like what are you thinking about ai we're scared he goes i'll tell you about this hype cycle what he thinks it'll fall into and he thinks in the end or find some sort of middle ground between how we use it and the way that we want to use it but also not getting too carried away so i hope he's right well that's an optimistic way to look at it. Yeah, which is good, because there's so many things when you think about it.

We have all these things where we're like, oh, NFT's a great example. Do what we're, you know. Bitcoin, he's like, well, everyone's got hyped about it. And then in the end, it kind of balances out to the middle. Some people making money from it, some people aren't or whatever, and it kind of sits in the middle ground.

Well, you do hear the extreme versions of, you know, someone who's made billions off Bitcoin and someone who's lost billions and just forgot their password and uh well that's a good way that's a nice way to look at it the uh the hype cycle the nfts nfts were explained to me multiple times and i still didn't know what nft i know they were like arts and you could buy them and it was one of a kind and i imagine the the value of nfts would have gone would have bottomed out now would you imagine yeah well yeah but maybe it's in there hype's in the middle maybe it's coming in the middle producer taylor joins us uh in the world sorry we got into a couple of tangents there all good man just shut

up what were you doing were you clearing emails what are you doing um yeah just clearing emails answering emails. Megan Papaz is away today. Her boy's having a little procedure. And grommets from memory. Oh, yeah. Yeah, grommets. Make a big difference to the kids that get them, the grommets.

It does. It changes instantly. Did you have grommets when you were growing up? No, I have no idea what that is. You get riddled. The poor things get riddled with ear infections. The hole in their ear is not wide enough. And then the infection sort of clogs up and their ear aches and just pains, can't hear.

And you don't really know, particularly the younger kids, why they're so, you're miserable and you're busy and irritated. And then it seems like it's the ears a lot of the time and they put their little grommets in. Little hole? Yeah, and they kind of help them out. Crazy. Crazy stuff. Anyway, Taylor, you've come with some content for the Wild Wild Wings. Options.

But I'll just quickly answer your question before. 95% of NFTs are worth nothing. 95%. What? Yeah, and 79% of all NFT collections have remained unsold. So, yeah yeah you might think it's worth billions but it's not

if no one's purchasing them right oh no yeah but I'm like you I have no idea what they are so

right now one NFT is worth what's that sorry I was very confused worthless .0117

USD there you go one NFT there you go but then if you go take my mate's hype cycle maybe it's at the bottom part of the trough of disillusionment so it starts off with the technology trigger it goes to the peak of inflated expectations then it drops to the trough of disillusionment and then it ends up in the plateau of productivity around about the middle so that's that's what he reckons isnment, and then it ends up in the plateau of productivity around about the middle. So that's what he reckons. Isn't that funny?

Wow. So maybe it's in the trough right now, and maybe it'll balance out somewhere in the middle. Who knows? Or maybe it'll just stay in the trough. I don't know. Yeah, crazy. Aren't we funny people? We are funny.

Aren't we? Odd. Humans are odd. But yeah, he was saying, look at COVID. COVID was exactly like this. You know how it went, it's this way, it went this way, and then all of a sudden it went down, and then it kind of balances out. Now we're like,

oh, we're dealing with it. You know? Yeah. It's kind of like when you put these things and a lot of things we go crazy about, it kind of makes sense, I guess. Maybe we should chill a bit more. And then so we've just got a consistent,

you know, rather than the piece of trash. So erratic. Yeah, but Producer Taylor's coming. Yep. She's got two coming yep she's got two stories two stories she's got two stories you've got options for us

okay we had a third option today which was about a plane yeah a couple performing a sex act on a plane in front of all passengers

and we got I wouldn't call a handy a sex act would you not well I mean it is a sex act having a cup of tea I'm not doing it

at the kids recital yeah out of all the sex acts you're like it's kind of the more comical one Did you not? Well, I mean, it is a sex album. Having a cup of tea? I'm not doing it at the kids' recital. Yeah. Out of all the sex, actually, it's kind of the more comical one, isn't it? Well, I guess what else could you do in a plane on the seat in front of everyone? Yeah, true. Otherwise, you're definitely getting kicked off the plane.

Yeah. Without making a look dodged. Well, you should be for that. And then you could pretend to drop something. Yeah. I mean, for some reason, for me, it makes it a lot better that she was doing it to him and he wasn't doing it to himself. Yeah some reason oh yeah yeah yeah you know a solo

one of those things is a weird one isn't it seems a lot more sinister when you're doing it absolutely yeah so that's uh but that was a fun story we'll just take a quick break for the wild wild wind back shortly welcome back fred had a business idea once, which was, he was like Mile High Club. He had a plane. He didn't fly or anything. So he was like, you get a plane and you go on and there's a bed in the back and people can join the Mile High Club. And that's the thing, you pay for it.

It's all like, you've got your own private area and stuff. Oh, so just for that purpose. Just for that purpose. It was like Mile High Airways. I was like, if people wanted to. What if the fetish, like it's not really a fetish then. Yeah, he never followed through on it. But he was like, if people wanted to. Fetish, like, it's not really a fetish then. Yeah, he never followed through on that.

But he was like, that was his idea. It was like, you put a bed in it, you put it all kind of thing. It's all private. And then the poor pilot puts some earmuffs on.

Away he goes. Pumps some Backstreet Boys or something. He uses a headphone so he's not listening and away he goes. You know there's a plan. How long you want me to be, mate?

Like, listen to Taylor Swift. And then like how long's the flight? I mean, it could be quick. Back to your point though, maybe a lot of it's the thrill of it, like the logistics. You go, I'll go.

How are we going to manoeuvre ourselves in the lavatory? We love to feel like children again, you know, the thrill of being caught. So his idea wouldn't really work. No. But you know, there is a person that owns

a plane in america and they it's like it can't fly or anything it's literally just a staged plane and they hire it out to influencers to take photos inside to make them look like they're in a first class um seat yeah to like give that perspective out so the world humans again humans I'm sure people are having sex on that too

no I was just sorry going back to the the public hand shandy that took place there was a blanket over the top of it there was a scarf a scarf

oh so who's we all know how that ends what's happening with the scarf well the scarf is would be stained yeah and does she like whose scarf was it it was hers that ends, what's happening with the scarf? Well, the scarf would be stained. Yeah. And does she, like, whose scarf was it?

It was hers. It was one of those ear sickness bags that they put over. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's quite good, actually. Whip it over the top towards the end there and then, you know. The oxygen mask? And don't tell anyone and just leave it there for when someone has to use it. Oh, the plane.

Okay, so today we've got a pretty intriguing story. All right. Two options. I've got a woman, 63, announces she's pregnant with a 26-year-old. So do we want to go into that first? Yeah. Okay, so this definitely does sound a bit more click-baity

than what it actually is. So she's actually not carrying the child. Oh, surrogate. This couple has reached out to a surrogate and they've actually just met the baby for the first time, I guess, like at the ultrasound. And the baby's heart's beating and stuff.

So yeah, so they're a couple. Like I don't know how to put this tastefully. She's an old looking 67. Yeah, she is. Isn't she? Like, you know, when you see, like a 60ss I consider still relatively Yeah

Like how old's Sue My mum's 62 And she looks amazing Nothing like that Yeah So she's She's probably 8 Feels like she's 10

15 years older Than she actually is Yeah Just Google it Tom Cruise He's 61 There you go They're not in the same ballpark

No He looks incredible I mean he looks better than Well not you Taylor But all of us. You know, like Jono and myself. And he's 20 years older. Absolutely.

Yeah, wow. So she, yeah, like, oh, yeah. I would have, if you met her and she went, oh, I'm actually 67, I would have gone, oh, are you? Yeah. Like when I tell people I'm 42, they're like, oh. Yeah. I thought you were like 78 or something.

But anyway, yeah. And then he's 26, so they look. Yeah. So there's 26. So they look. Yeah. So there's a huge age gap there. And they definitely, like, he looks like he could be her son. Like, that's how young. And so they're having a baby through surrogate.

Through surrogate. Because they are in a couple. They met at a, like, a 7-Eleven servo kind of vibe in 2020. And then they have been known to put out some content on OnlyFans. Really? Together. So, yeah. Sorry, they met in 2012.

So they've been together for a while. That's like 12 years. So they're committed. They're committed. And they go viral on TikTok, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. Their videos, yeah.

Wow. So, yeah. What are they doing? Are they doing what we think they're doing on OnlyFans? I don't know. I don't know enough about OnlyFans. It feels like it's been branded with all spicy content to OnlyFans. Because that's what it is. Is that all it is?

Yes. I mean, you can put stuff up. Like, say you're like Demi Lovato and you go, I just want content only my real fans can see. And it's not sexual. Like, she could be putting art up there or something. So there is just nice, wholesome content that's on OnlyFans. Yeah, but I'd say 1% of it is.

Yeah. So that's a great way to make a buck. It is. So there is other, yeah, I'll be looking at it. There's fitness and workout routines, cooking and food related, music and art, fashion and beauty. So there is that sort of stuff, comedy and entertainment. But, yeah.

What's the percentage? Let's have a look at What's the percentage Let's have a look at the The pie chart Let's have a look at the percentage Because you do get If you went Oh I've started 90 fans Yeah You know

Oh no it's just cooking But if you're like You're an instructor A gym person You're like Oh okay I'll subscribe to that And then you could

It makes sense right Yeah What percentage of craters On only fans Aren't sexual? 98%, you're right. Oh, see? Spot on.

Did you say 98%? I said 1% would be non-sexual. Yeah, 98% of all content on OnlyFans is adult content. So you do feel sorry for the hardworking chefs, the fitness people. I feel like it's not the platform to do it. When's this guy going to show us his dick? He's been doing burpees for like 30 minutes. Get your dick out.

Seriously. That's what I came here for I don't know He's doing some sit ups Okay yeah That's good Where's this lady That's going to start Humping the lasagna

You know Just making one It looks delicious But yeah You're right Just stick to YouTube Have a subscription channel Pay war

Yeah I mean yeah It feels like a huge waste Of their time and resource putting their content on OnlyFans okay so that was the lady who's

yeah so that was the first story what do you think is like the oldest you could go on OnlyFans no just in general

in life where you're like that's my limit I don't know I depend on the person really on it yeah and the money

like you said if you're looking at a 61 year old Tom Cruise Brad Pitt's 60 like I don't know depending on the person really yeah like you said you're looking at a 61 year old Tom Cruise Brad Pitt's 60 like I would admit there were a lot of people

you know happily happily I mean I would happily is it like is it Sylvester Stallone

who's like just had a baby with a 20 year old yeah Al Pacino did Al Pacino and he's like 80 something

yeah Pacino and he's a good looking guy Stallone's 77 too isn't he yeah so yeah so okay I'd say my limit would be

it all depends yeah individual you can't put a number on I don't think no you could put a price on it you could put a price

I'd definitely put a price on it you know yeah the and celebrity it feels like celebrities as well it's just a whole it doesn't matter it doesn't matter

how old they are really in a lot of ways. Yeah, exactly. To a lot of people. It's like Leo. Would you, if Leo was 70, Leo DiCaprio. Oh, how old is he now? Because he's aging.

He's starting to age. He'd be in his 50s, wouldn't he? 49. 49, there you go. So he's 50 this year. Like now or at 70? Oh, now. Yeah, I would, like if I was single.

Yeah. He's a good looking guy. Yeah. He's a good looking guy, eh? Yeah. He's still... Yeah, imagine talking about all the movies he's worked on. That's cool. He'll be like, oh, do we... Is the whole relationship based on you talking about my IMDB?

Hey, I'm way too old for him though. I'm 27. Yeah, you're past the age of that. Oh my God. He really had a... Well, he much publicised the 25 and... Mate, the reputation is real. As soon as they turn 25, they're out.

Yeah. You'd be geriatric to Leo. I would, yeah. They wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole. We're just going to have to take another little break from the Wild Wild Web. We'll be back after this. Kia ora. Welcome back to the Wild Web.

Okay, so we've dealt with this story. What is the other story? Okay, so now this Aussie model, she's been slammed on socials after she went viral for sharing a list of over 100 reasons why you shouldn't have kids. So I'll read out a few, which I mean, reading them, I'm like, yeah, I guess. So you could die during childbirth.

That's true. I guess that's true, yeah. They drain you of everything, including your time, sleep, and money. Yeah. Yep, that's fair. Children throw tantrums. They do. Yeah, but then you could come up with a list of things of reasons why.

Why? Yeah, go on. Well, yeah, they do. Yes, you do spend a lot of money with them, but then what it gives you and what it enriches you, I feel, for me personally, this is me personally, totally outweighs that, you know, they do. Yes, you do spend a lot of money with them, but then what it gives you and what it enriches you, I feel, for me personally, this is me personally, totally outweighs that, you know? Great time wasters.

Yeah, in the good way, in the best possible way. But each to their own. If people don't want to have kids, that's fine. Yeah, I feel like, why would you make a list? I don't have kids. That's cool. That's fine. You do you.

And then if you do, if I'm like, I have a hundred reasons why I'm having a kid, they're like, well, just have a kid or don't have a kid. Exactly. That would have taken a long time to get to a hundred, too. That's fine. You do you. And then if you do, I'm like, there are a hundred reasons why I'm having a kid. They're like, well, just have a kid or don't have a kid. Exactly. That would have taken a long time to get to a hundred. A hundred reasons. She's got children can lead to relationship breakdowns. If you're a single parent,

you then have to try and find someone who is willing to want to be with a single parent who isn't a secret child predator. Jesus Christ, it's gone dark. Yeah. Kids have no sense of boundaries. Wasn't that about they poo inside you? Yes, she put one in there that they poo inside you. They do.

Well, they're living inside you. You can't argue any of her facts. No. Well, yeah, the predator. It's probably a little extreme, but yeah, maybe. Just like kids or no kids, try not to date predators. This is one where I'm like, oh, wow, that's so true. Kids can turn into psychopaths i think as a parent that

would be my biggest worry because like you watch documentaries of serial killers like jeffrey dharma his parents they didn't know no you do feel sorry for them don't you yeah like how did it go like are they born like that and you would feel a huge amount of responsibility going well this is the person i brought into the world i know and then like oh it was really sad um the bond the bondi stabbings in australia a few weeks ago the media devastated his parents and they're like helpless yeah he was sick and yeah they were like he's been sick for a long time we've tried to get help yeah so i feel like that that's yeah i've that would be my main concern yeah i mean she's got a hundred great tips but like you say you could also combat with another hundred yeah reasons

why yeah i can't think of them right now but uh here you go just google it unconditional love a purpose they could make you money yeah celebrity damn right uh new priorities in life is all yeah lots of lots of reasons but do what you want to do. Yeah. You don't have kids. Don't have kids. If you do, do. Put a list of 100 things.

Yeah. Or if you need to be validated constantly, don't put it up on Instagram. Just save it in notes. Yeah. And remind yourself if that's what you need to do. We should talk to her. Do you know this lady?

No, I don't. Australia's not that small. But I can find her. It'd be really nice if you did know. Australia's quite large, isn't it? Okay, all right. It's not one of those situations. I'll hit it in the DMs.

Yeah, see what she says. I've got an Instagram here. She might want to come on and... The post got 12,000 likes. Wow, that's some good results there. Yeah. I guess, yeah, but it's probably like... Sometimes I get confused with those things.

Someone will post something, I'm not saying this, but post something and go, oh, really sad news. My grandparents passed away or whatever. And then you're like, do I like this post or not? Because you want to support it. But it's like, oh, Ben Boyce likes this. You're like, what a monster. Yeah, I've done that with a couple of the bloody Palestine ones.

It's like, you know, children are dying and I've liked it. But you want to support it. Yeah, right. Yeah. It's like. Because my friend posts regularly. I'm like, well, I don you want to support it. Yeah, right. Yeah. It's like, so. Because my friend posts regularly. Yeah. I'm like, well, I don't want to not see.

Yeah, you don't want to look like. I'm not liking the children dying. Yeah. But, you know, I want to support the post. Yeah. I've got nothing to add in the comment section. I know. Sometimes you do feel like you can put in the comments rather than like, you know, if

someone passes away, you're like, oh, I'm so sorry for it. You know, rather than I like this. If you see a post with like 200 comments on it are you turned off then commenting? because you're like oh well they've already got so much they're not going to see my comments I check comments out on wild stuff not TMZ posts

like Kim Kardashian posts just like my thoughts and opinions like what? what was my latest one? do you get involved in commenting or something? what was my latest one? Do you get involved in like commenting or something? What was my latest one? Oh, my latest one was Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, he's giving away 100 Teslas or something crazy.

And it was like, comment below, which was asking for your comments. But I commented, I'm like, mate, you're wearing socks on grass. He didn't have any shoes on. And that was my minute. Did he go through and go, thanks for that? No one's engaged with it. No one's given it a heart. I haven't actually looked,

to be honest. I just needed to get it off my chest. I'd be like... Because I say it to the kids all the time. Why are you on the lawn with socks on? Put shoes on. Yeah, that's... Or bare feet.

Well, apparently it's very good to ground in grass. So even go the next layer off. Take the socks off. Yeah, put your feet in the grass. It's very good to ground in grass. So even go the next layer off, take the socks off. Barefoot in grass is very good for you. When Taylor Swift's album, her new one, dropped, and there's that song, Thank You, Amy, Kim Kardashian's comments of her Instagram from like posts and posts down from weeks ago were being flooded with oh really saying thank you amy

because the way she titled the song thank you amy i was like kim k i and emma in capital letters can i hey while we're on this while we're on this we you've been away for three days yeah now congratulations to the beavers they're having a baby. They are having a baby. If we can cast your mind back to a week and a half ago, you came on here, you were like, it was you. We were blaming Megan for it on Friday. You were like, they're done for. They're done. There's no chemistry, I said.

They're done. Now they're having a baby. You said it with such confidence. Well, that doesn't fix everything. A baby doesn't fix relations. I can give you 100 reasons. 100 reasons why they're not. Yeah, so I still stand. I feel like he's still got the heart. I love that A hundred reasons why they're not. Yeah, so I still stand.

I feel like he's still got the heart. I love that you're like, they're over. Oh, I can see it. You guys were so adamant. Because he had posted photos just by himself, not without her. Crying and stuff. Maybe it was the joy of happy tears. He's weird.

Did you guys see the post, the pregnancy announcement? No, I didn't. She's in a white dress and they look like they're getting married again. I just don't understand. It's a celebrity, baby. Why make a wedding to announce your baby? Just show the preggers test and say I'm up the daft. That's what I'll do.

Jeez, I'll tell you what the news was hitting them angles on it. I wrote down headlines. It was like, Hayley and Justin have picked a baby name. That was the first article. Then another article, Hayley and Justin see baby as a fresh start. Another article. See? Another article.

Every time Hayley and Justin have talked about babies, there was a list of every time they even mentioned babies. Oh, jeez. Him a few times. He sings about them. Yeah, baby, baby, baby, oh. Hayley and Justin have matching rings. Another article.

Hayley and Justin's celebrity friends react to the news. Jeez, they were coming in From all angles They do that in the news don't they How much can we milk out of this What's our different angle What's our edge I'm happy for them You still think it's over don't you

We were laughing Sorry but we incorrectly blamed Megan And then she went No that was Taylorlor so we're like someone said it and we couldn't remember yeah oh fun times hey well that's been the world we thanks for doing this time no worries it's fun we uh covered some grounds we definitely covered some grounds but uh yeah we'll be back again tomorrow with another new story an actual new story that'll capture our attention and who knows where i end up