Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - September 01 - Jono Has A Rat In The Roof, News Jargon, Where Did You End Up?

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

Today on the show we played News Jargon again, where Jono got Ben to insert topical words into a conversation with someone over the phone. Today's edition was rugby terminology. But the lovely lady on the other end of the phone picked up on what we were doing...! We also played Don't Call Us, We'll Call You, where we cold call random people around the country and throw surprise pop quizzes at them. We had some gems from Wellington take part! On the show as well was Angela Bloomfield who you may know as Rachel McKenna from Shortland Street. She has changed careers to become a real estate agent! So we talked to her about that. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rolling. Here we go. Jono and Ben. New to your mornings. Friends of Skinny. New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime.

Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Podcast. Here we are back again at it. That's another one. Back again at it. You know, you just keep churning our podcast, don't you? We do. They keep coming. And I've looked at the figures. Back again at it. You know, you just keep churning our podcast, don't you? We do. They keep coming. And I've looked at the figures.

People are loving them. People are loving the podcast, mate. Number one. I've looked at the insights, the tracking. You know how you get the graph? Yeah. You obviously haven't looked too hard, but that's fine. That's fine.

We'll take number one. And whatever figures. I don't know if the graph has to do with our podcast. I think it was actually New Zealand's COVID numbers that just kept going up and up. I thought it was our podcast listeners. Actually, speaking of which, yesterday I was driving along and I saw signs, you know, and you see signs,

road signs that say event, you know, and there was lots of road cones. It was like event, event. And I was like, oh, this is exciting. What's the event? And I drove up there and it was like, it was COVID testing. Oh, that is the lamest event ever. It's like no one wants.

Come along to this fun event where we'll stick a nine metre stick up your nose. I was like, surely we've got other signs to put up other than an event and make it feel like it is an event. I mean, I know we're rubbing our faces in it. We don't have events anymore at the moment. Have you had a COVID test? No, I haven't. No. People are, you know, family members have had a COVID test

and stuff previously, but no. I haven't had one. I'm sure everyone in the country and the world will probably at some stage have to get one. Yeah, I think we could make advancements into the technique, like a saliva test. There is, they're looking into that. Oh good, it feels like they should have looked into that a while ago. No, the only option is we're going to shove this up there. A New Zealand lady is working with, she's in America,

and she's working with a factory over there who are basically, and they're using some of the NBA players' saliva. And they don't know whose players it is or who they relate to. They're like, well, it could be LeBron James. It doesn't know who it is, but they're also working on that saliva test to get results for the NBA. So it's another way of doing it and just working through the protocol to make it more easily accessible

for other people to have a saliva test rather than just a thing up your nose. Oh, jeez, Ben, you're across the advancements in COVID technology. I just saw one of the things the other day. Look, basically, if it's anything centred around the NBA,

he'll know what it's to do with. Exactly, yeah. If the topical event has nothing to do with any NBA players, then he'll make... I don't know about it. Hey, coming up on the podcast, important dates

heading into Father's Day. Dads, traditionally not good at remembering important dates in their life. Well, we put them to the test. What date is their birthday? Oh, I don't know that one. Sorry.

I'll give you the month. It's January. January, okay. one, sorry. I'll give you the month. It's January. January, okay. Okay, okay. Still got any bells? Yeah. How many days are in January? How many days are in January?

Yeah. Don't double down on it. Put our mics already under the puff. Does Mike figure out his granddaughter's birthday? It's a shaky start, but does he get there in the end? You'll find out on the podcast. And we've got Angela Bloomfield. Oh, yeah, Shortland Street actor.

You'll know her from Rachel McKenna on Shortland Street. She's pivoted. That's the new word at the moment, right? Well, she's now got a new career. That's also a great thing to do at a game of basketball as well, pivoting. Yeah, yeah, tie that back into your favourite thing. Thank you. That's on the podcast today.

Enjoy. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, this weekend is the North versus South of rugby match. It's happening to no fans, which is a bit of a shame because it was, you know, one of the big events of the rugby season this year. I'll tell you what's a shame, mate. Another outbreak of COVID.

What would you prefer? A packed stadium or another outbreak? Another lockdown? Oh, no, another outbreak of COVID. What would you prefer? A packed stadium or another outbreak, another lockdown? Oh, no, that's not, no, I don't want either of those, really, those things. But, yeah.

Who are you backing in the North versus South game, Benjamin? Oh, I think I have to go with the North, you know, having been born here and grown up here, although I did spend

a lovely few years in the South Island as well. What I like about the South team is like 19 out of the 15 players are all Crusaders. It's basically the North Island versus the Crusaders. So we like to do a game from time to time called News Jargon where we take some

jargon, some topical words from the news and one of us has to make a phone call and see how many of these we can insert into the conversation. Yeah, so last week I was doing it and you were holding up bits of paper with political lingo that I had to insert. We were deciding where to go and I said to my friends and family,

guys, we need to be voting on this. Yeah. Turns out you guys are the perfect candidate. Oh, sweet. What about an outdoor garden? An arden? A garden. Oh, a garden.

A garden. That was for Jacinda Arden. That was good. Yeah, I was reaching towards the end there a littleden. That was for Jacinda Arden. That was good. Yeah, I was reaching towards the end there a little bit. That was really nice. So because the North versus South, the rugby game's on this weekend, you want me to insert some rugby terms into a conversation? Pass, line out, kick it, scrum, proud of the boys, try, halfback,

all these sorts of things. Game of two halves. So you're just going to hold up pieces of paper. We're going to make a call right now to a cafe, right? Yeah, we'll head to Nelson, producer Julius. Coffee Culture Timaru speaking with Laura. How can I help? Oh, hi, Laura.

Are you guys open this Friday night? We are until nine o'clock. Oh, awesome. I'm just looking for a place to kick it with my friends. Oh, well, you know what? You can kick it with your friends as well. Oh, great. How busy are you going to be on friday will there will there be like a line out never like usually a line out the door okay oh that's good to know um uh your menu um there's what items could i tackle with my mates you know like get it get stuck into um you could basically

uh we've got like a bagel menu and we've got cakes and stuff like that. A bagel. I might pass on the bagel, but the cakes sound awesome. They sound really good. Yeah, the cakes are pretty mean, yeah. You don't have to pre-order. You can just get along and wing it on the day, right? Yeah, just Jono and Ben.

I literally listened to something the other day. Yeah, well, like the food sounds scrummy, that's for sure. What else are you going to throw at me? There's plenty I'd like to try. If I eat, like, say, I have a cake, I have my cake, and then I don't eat it all, can I give half back to you to give to me as a doggy bag situation? Well, I was thinking maybe you could give it to me as a full back,

and then I can eat it. Oh, yeah, okay. And what about coming in with my bubble? You know, the first five of us, are they all right to come in? Oh, of course. My mate Jono's a bit of a dropkick, though. Is he allowed in there? Yeah, no, it's all right.

I'm all over there like a bad rat. Ruck me, that's good. And finally, would you say, Jono and Betty, are you proud of the boys? Yeah, I mean, they go good. I mean, you good I mean you know they could probably work on a few things

but Jotto was making me insert as many rugby terms and phrases into the conversation so that's that No I'm going to say

I'll give you a 10 out of 10 for that one not bad Thank you for 10 out of 10 Give your business a plug where can people come find you?

Timaru Copy Culture You are a legend Thank you very much lovely to talk to you alright see you buddy bye this is your

new breakfast health star rating still pending it's Jorowen Manomahit on the first day of spring according to a

Facebook study read into that what you will but couples are most likely to break up in spring so there's some cheery information

for you for Tuesday if you were thinking about it, well, follow through now. Spring's getting warmer weather. Spring's the time. You want to get shredded for summer, you can get back out there on the horse. Get back out there. Give it a good old ride through the years.

Now's the time to start thinking about that. And two weeks before Christmas is another one as well. Maybe it's just to stop getting a lot of gifts. It's like ramp up the end of the year. I don't need to buy a gift. Or do I? Maybe I don't. Now, this is something I think you would seriously consider,

to save on costs. Listen, family, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving, yeah. I'll be back in January. After the 26th. Any time after that, I'll be back. Hey, we play a game show. It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You.

Now, it's a game show that no one's asked for. It's an ambush game show. No one wants. The equivalent would be Bradley Walsh from The Chase phoning up unannounced and barking questions down the phone at you, wouldn't it? Yeah, you're right, you're right. And we're going to go through to one of your favourite places, Ben, a top ten holiday park.

Oh, I love it. Let's head through to Wellington. Wellington, top ten, Caitlin speaking. Caitlin, are you mate all right? I'm Caitlin, how are you, mate? All right? I'm good. How can I help? Welcome to Don't Call Us, We'll Call You.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Hi. Hey, we've got, you're in the middle of a game show. Okay. Have we got hold of the Top Ten Holiday Park? Sorry? Ben Boyce is a big fan of the Top Ten Holiday Park. I love the jumping pillow. Do you have a jumping pillow? Ben Boyce is a big fan of the top 10 holiday parks. Oh, I love the jumping pillow.

Do you have a jumping pillow? We do, yeah. So much fun. It's your signature. It's your calling card, isn't it, that jumping pillow at the top 10 holiday parks? Yeah, they are, yeah. You've got to have one if you have a holiday park.

A lot of fun. I can imagine. How much jumping do you do on that jumping pillow? Oh, not much now. The novelty sort of wears off. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it. I love a jumping pillow,

and I love the top 10 holiday parks. Are you on a portable wears off. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it. I love a jumping pillow and I love the top 10 holiday parks. Are you on a portable phone? I am, yeah. Okay, this is my challenge I want to issue to you. We're going to host this game show. You're going to answer some questions. You can win some hell pizza. But in that time I want you to make your way to the jumping pillow

and I want this to end on a giant jump off, okay? Okay. You can do that for us, Caitlin. I don't know if our phone will get to the end of the part. Just give it a crack, baby. Just give it a crack. You could just pretend and tell him. He wouldn't know any difference.

Okay. He could just be like, oh, wee. Trust me, I won't know. Are you ready for your first question, though? Okay, ready? LeBron James is a professional what? A, basketballer, B, basket maker, or C, basket case? Basketball player.

Well done. Basketball player. That went down well with the test audience. It did. We got $10 help pizza so far. A limited edition range of face masks we have made commemorating the Director General of Health. What is the Director General of Health's name? A. Doc Martens, B.

Doc McStuffins, or C. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? I'm enjoying these pity laughs in the background. Some great pity laughs in the background. Thank you everybody for pity laughing. Ben Boyce is a what?

A. Credit card skimmer, B, trapeze artist, or C, radio and television host? Radio and television host. He actually does the other two things as well, more as a hobby. Not publicly, not publicly. Well done, $30 help pizza. And finally, Brad Pitt is currently dating a girl, A, 29 years his junior, B, 56 years his senior, or C, the same age?

Same age. Is it? Oh, we worked too hard around here for the big questions. Oh, you worked too hard for the big questions. All right, thanks for the cheap seats over there. What was... Oh, okay, we'll go with A then. A, 29 years as junior. I just realised if it was 56 years as senior,

she'd be 106. Well done. You got some help. Pizza coming your way. Macaulay Culkin, 40. That was hard enough. Oh, yeah, that was big news in the week. Macaulay Culkin, 40.

Good. This has been a wonderful open conversation with everyone. How many people have we got there? Five. Oh, wow. Well, now, can you all just pretend to jump on your big jumping pillow for me? Ready? One, two, three.

Woo! And again. Jump again. Do it again. Again, again. One, two, three. And one more. One more. One, two, three. And one more, one more. One, two, three.

Well done, you guys. I've got $40 Hell Pizza coming your way, alright? Thanks for being such good sports. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now, we want your calls 0800 the hits, 4487 is our text number.

We love it when you get in touch with New Zealand's Breakfast, don't we? We do, we do. It's good because it means we don't have to do any heavy lifting. And the less heavy lifting we can do, the better for us, Ben Boyce. Exactly. We want your calls on where you accidentally ended up because you've brought Producer Max in. Wonderful Producer Max.

Millennial Max. Millennial Max. And over the weekend, I noticed on your social media that you ended up in you've brought Producer Max in, wonderful Producer Max, Millennial Max. Millennial Max. And over the weekend I noticed on your social media that you ended up in a strange place. Yeah, last weekend in Level 2, you know, thought we'd keep it local but we'd enjoy the sun, stimulate the economy. Team of five million, that's it.

Yeah, and it was quite warm on the weekend in Auckland and so we thought we'd go to a beach just out in the eastern area of Auckland. And we went there and we were just sort of driving around. We found a really nice looking beach and had a really nice walkway down to it. And so we walked down and there were some teenagers sort of coming up the beach towards us. And they were wearing like bikinis and togs and we're like, oh yeah, sweet, might go for a dip. And got down there and then in the distance

there were like a group of people and my girlfriend Izzy, she was like, are they naked? And I was like, wouldn't think so. And this guy stood up and he was wearing like budgie smugglers, like green budgie smugglers. And so we're like, all good. No worries.

So we went for a walk down the beach and then just kind of took a look up the beach and got an absolute eyeful. Oh, wow. So it was a nature of speech. It was a nudist speech. Oh, there you go. You really have to be committed to the art of being naked in public,

don't you, to some day this time of year as well. Yeah, well, it was quite a warm over the weekend. Yeah, but it's not. Was it naked warm? I don't know. It was never naked warm for me. My problem with always, my problem with those people is when I see them on the news,

it's like, where are all the tight ones? You know? You can know who it is like. That's shallow. No, it's like me. I've reached a stage of life now where gravity's starting to take effect on my body. It's like, oh, now I'll become a naturist.

Well, shut up, you. You're happy. You let it all hang out. But, you know, you never see any young ones. They're always old and saggy. What's nothing wrong with that? They're enjoying their life. No, it's fine.

Good on them. And they're always playing inappropriate sports like volleyball and swinging sports. My issue was there were no signs. There was no warning. What a surprise, I imagine. I mean, each to their own. They can do that if they're happy.

But you're right. You would have thought they would be like, hey, just so you know, there's a nudist beach up ahead. There may be. Was it Ladies Bay? It was. Yeah, no, I used to go down there as a kid and I'd be like, oh, hello.

So this is a well-known place. Yeah. I didn't just stumble upon naked old men. Well, you kind of did in a way, I guess. Yeah, where have you ended up? We want to know today. Are we under the hits or 3347? Where have you accidentally ended up?

3347 if you want to text the edge, that's fine. They always appreciate your communication. You can tell them. You can tell Dom Harvey. He might want to get your text. Or you want to accidentally end it up on The Edge. Or you can text us on 4487. That's if you want to get in touch with the show that you're listening to.

That would be ideal. Yeah, so that's where I've accidentally ended up there. Just as an example, just setting the scene of how you can accidentally end up in places. And this is why you're the best in the business, mate. Just give me these examples. You're ahead of the curve. 4487, you're the best in the business, mate. Just give me these examples. A great example. You're ahead of the curve. 4487, you're right.

That's our number. Text us. Don't accidentally text there, mate. Where have you accidentally ended up? You ended up in a meeting the other day that wasn't for you. Oh, yeah. I left my bag in a meeting room.

I needed to go and get it in and then I walked in there and it was a diversity meeting. It was a great meeting. High-powered people in there and I was like, well, geez, it's not a good look for a bald white man

to interrupt a diversity meeting in 2020, is it? So I stayed there, and it was a wonderful presentation from some Korean business people. Yeah. I got handed out some moisturiser. That was a great time. I got some Korean lollies. It was wonderful.

So it turned out for the best for John. Where have you accidentally ended up? You can give us a call. Troy, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Where did you accidentally end up, buddy? This was, I think, a couple of months ago. I was taking my

girlfriend out for our anniversary dinner. Went to this place that generally at the time was actually private and not closed to the public. Went in, sat down and was getting ready to order drinks. We waved at the what appeared to be the waiter down,

asking if I could have a beer, and she wanted, I think, a gin and fizzle or something, and the guy just looked at us, the dirtiest look you could imagine, and then just walked away scolding, and after asking a couple more times, we eventually found out, when the patients were scolding us,

that this was actually a function for alcoholics anonymous. Oh, no. You're in the middle of a rehab meeting. You're going in there trying to order some drinks at the bar. I could kill for a drink. Anyone else want a drink around here? Who don't just sleep with

to have a drink? Oh my god. It's very good, Troy. Thank you for your call. Appreciate it. I remember when we were in Los Angeles for work and we were staying in that hotel and I ended up in a rap video, hip-hop video. Yeah, just walking back to your room

and those guys were filming a hip-hop video. Yeah, now I just tell you what, I thought that their coolness, because they were very cool, their coolness would cancel out my uncoolness, but all it did was magnify it. Like I had to sit on the bed and my job was to hold a bottle

of champagne and like shake it around while there were some lovely entertainers around me on the bed. The boys were there as well. We were all there having a good time and they just kept like money just you know making it rain money and all I was thinking was all this money on the floor I was like can I just get 50 bucks?

So you know I was just thinking I just want to pick up some money. Maybe someone's going to fall down your top or something like that accidentally and you're like oh cool I just get 50 bucks? So, you know, I was just thinking, I just want to pick up some of that cash. Maybe someone's going to fall down your top or something like that accidentally. You're like, oh, cool, I can take that with me. And we were with our other workmate and she was walking past the room and the door was open. I was like, Sharon, come in.

They need some dancers. She's like, get lost. We're having an argument in the middle of the video. I don't know if that made the cut. No, I don't know if you would have made the cut of the video either, but who knows? Who knows? They got removed later that night, didn't they,

from the hotel, those guys? I'd be allowed to film rap videos in a hotel room. George is with us. Welcome to the show, George. How are you? Where did you end up? Oh, well, I ended up on the wrong bus. I was aiming to go from Invercargill to Picton

and stopped off at Timaru. Didn't realise what bus I'd got on and ended up at Mount Cook. Oh, you took a bit of a dog leg there. Yeah, quite a bit of a trip out of your way. Producer Juliet was just saying in Japan you did the same thing on a train. Yeah, there are bullet trains everywhere and we were in a rush to get on one and we ended up going to the wrong part of Japan, like across to the other side of the country.

Because they're so quick too though. They're so quick and there's so many of them on the platforms that you're kind of just like, oh, is this going to the right part of Japan, like across to the other side of the country. Because they're so quick too though. They're so quick and there's so many of them on the platforms that you're kind of just like, oh, is this going to the right place? I don't know. We jumped on, realised a couple hours into the trip that we were actually not going the right way. And then, yeah, it's been basically the rest of the day just trying to get back to where we started.

It was a whole shambles. But, you know, it was fun. It was exciting. There's a story of someone who got on the plane and they needed to go to Oakland in America and they ended up in Auckland I don't even know but I don't know how that could work like with international customs

and yeah I think someone made that up and I believed it now I look like a schmuck for telling it on the radio. Wake up and smell them. Actually no please don't smell them that's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the heads Yeah well it's time to hear about Jono Pryor's generosity. Just a Jono and Ben on the Heads. Yeah, well, it's time to hear about Jono Pryor's generosity. Just a big heart.

Yeah. And I'm generous to a fault. Like, it's probably my flaw that, you know, sometimes people take advantage of my generosity. And I love how you don't talk about it. I'm humble. I'm humble. Yeah, I don't like to go out publicly. You came into work this morning, you're like,

hey, guys, I need to talk about how I gave away quite a lot of money. Yeah, well, listen, what happened? Everyone nowadays has got to bloody give A Little page, don't they? Yeah, well, they do. Oh, I've got to get some wheels for my dog. He's lost his legs and needs to get some, you know, everyone's just got a thing on Give A Little. And a lot of the time it's for really important things in people's lives.

Yeah, but I'm finding every second day I'm donating to someone's Give A Little page. Right. And so yesterday, I don't want to get into specifics. Okay. But yesterday, my generosity't want to get into specifics. Okay. But yesterday, my generosity again, Ben, took hold. And I wanted to chuck $20 towards this cause. And I'd somehow made a mistake and ended up donating $80. Now, my question to you is,

is it a bad look for me to email the person and just go, mate, I actually meant to put 20 in, can you get me 60 back? Because my bad, you're still getting something, like I'm still donating to your thing. Or do I have to just kiss that guy? I think you kind of do, my producer Juliet. Oh, I

reckon send a net, no I'm just kidding. It's a tough, yeah. Because you're in that position in real time, I was with you, we were just walking down the road one day and these people came up they're like hey

you know people with buckets shaking buckets in your face and Ben's like oh yeah I need to look good here so he pulled out his wallet

and then I just saw the only thing he had in there was a $50 note no I don't normally have cash let alone $50 for some reason I thought it was $5

in my note and everyone saw it and I was like $5 and I was like oh have cash, let alone $50. For some reason, I thought it was $5 in my note. And everyone saw it. I was like, $5? And I was like, oh, my God, this is a 50. He pulled it out, and everyone was like, oh. He is a hero. And I'm thinking, someone needs to take a photo of this,

send it to the Herald. And I couldn't. I couldn't put that back. And I'll go, whoops, 50. You're not going to give that. So I had to hand that over. You put it in, and I feel you like going, oh. I felt like going, have you got

any change? You know, but I was like, no, I can't do that. No. So yeah, you for a while there, remember you got you're paying money for the pandas. For goddamn pandas. You know those people, the annoying people with clipboards and have I've publicly said before,

anyone on the street with a clipboard is going to be a pain in the ass 100% of the time. Okay, they're never not going to be. True. They wrangle you, and they sort of get you in under a false, like, they look like they know you from somewhere. Hey, mate, how are you?

You're like, oh, hey. And then you realise 30 seconds into it, no, no, no. Here's the clipboard. Here comes the clipboard. And I got suckered into the World Society for the Protection of Animals. Which is a lovely cause, great cause. No, it's not.

It's a nightmare. But you got a monthly payment. Direct debit. Yeah, I signed up to this thing and it was direct debiting 40 bucks a month for the pandas. I don't know where the pandas are. The pandas never send me a thank you note.

The amount of pandas I've saved. Send me a card or a photo. Something. A photo. Thumbs up. Panda go,

okay, thanks. One way street here. Enjoying some bamboo that you helped provide. Imagine how much bamboo I fed those pandas. We know it for three years and I was like,

this is just wild. Surely I've done enough for the pandas now. Automatic payments. I should own a panda. They should have sent me a panda. There should be a panda in my backyard right now, climbing a tree and looking cute. The amount of money I paid for pandas.

Very generous guy, Jono Prom. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We're going to talk pivoting. Hot word at the moment. New normal. Team of five million. Pivoting.

Masks. Sanitising. Wash hands. Social distancing. Those are a lot of the buzzwords that are floating around. But you're right. Pivoting is at the moment. Everyone's saying, oh, you need to pivot.

You know, because this is the new environment, the new normal. So you have to pivot. Shut up! Stop telling me I need to pivot! People have been telling me I need to pivot out of this industry for a very long time. Before coronavirus. Well before, yeah, for the last 20 years.

But yeah, we want to talk about pivoting. Were you in a career and you've made such a drastic change to your professional life, you're in a completely different career? Were you the captain of a Japanese whaling ship and now you lead couples through marriage counselling. That's a big pivot.

Were you an enforcer for the Italian mafia? And now you're a friendly suburban neighbourhood florist. I don't know. These are examples. Not good ones. No, but they're examples of a pivot. 0800 the hits is the phone number. You can give us a text, 4487.

What would you do if you couldn't do this anymore? I've got no skills. Mate, I moved two cubic metres of gravel over the weekend, so maybe that's me. Maybe that's my... But it took you seven months to get around to doing it. Yeah, it took me a long time to move it. So if you need stuff moved,

but you don't need it moved immediately, then here you go. And I moaned quite a lot. Just a lot of moaning. It was so hard work. We're back. The procrastinating mover. Yeah, so that's me.

A lot of tests coming through here. I was a hairdresser. Now I'm a dairy farmer. I worked as a debt collector and repo agent. Now I work for a hearing clinic. I was a pilot. Now I'm a window cleaner. I started out with a career at radio,

and now I'm a senior solicitor. Wow. Some great pivoting going on. Yeah, well, joining us on the phone right now, Angela Bloomfield, you'll know from Shortland Street. I think you're there Ange, how's it going? I'm very good, thank you. Now you'll know Angela not only for her role as Rachel McKenna on Shortland Street, but I know her as a wonderful mother, a generous human being and a wonderful contributor to society and the community.

Okay. Oh, really? Sounds like a reference from Jono there. I'm sure you did more. And I would employ her. That would be my advice. Oh, thank you. That's a great testimony.

Can you put that in writing? Yeah, good. You've had a bit of a change in tech. You're pivoted. That's the word right now, right? And a brand new career. I think last year I've been calling it diversifying,

but now I really have pivoted. So what are you doing now? So I, last lockdown, I did my real estate papers. Oh, you're a real estate agent? I've become a real estate, well, officially, as of a week and a half ago, I'm qualified

sale houses. Wow, it would have been a real dog leg if you led in with, like, I did my real estate papers and now I'm an open heart surgeon. That's awesome. Are you enjoying it? Well, as I say, it's only been like a couple of weeks, but I've sort of hit the ground running. And the office, where I work, I've been invited onto listings. And so I'm learning quickly, and it's really fun. Get a couple of sales under the belt there, mate. Not yet, not yet, but hopefully before the year's out.

Are there any real crossover similarities between acting and real estate? There's actually heaps. The mere fact that I can, I've spent the last 25 years sort of having conversations with people that I don't know. Do you know what I mean? I can't just walk out my front door and people want to have a conversation with me. And I suppose I always found that, always welcomed it. I've done this since I was really young, and I never, was never going to push that away.

But now it's sort of like, feels a bit different. Do you know what I mean? Because it's kind of for me. And so, yeah, there's that. There's sort of hearing people's stories and getting to know them so that you can do your best for them. Awesome. And sell their house. And really, I don't think my boss would want anyone to know this, but there's a lot of stuff in real estate that's kind of, it's not scripted, so to speak, but it is about putting on a persona.

Here's a couple of things I want to tell you when I went through open homes. Once I used a toilet. Is that a no-no? Oh, my goodness. You didn't. That's a little bit of a no-no, especially here. No, you can't be touching things. Okay, all right.

Well, I didn't do that then. Here's a little tip. If they're old, you can sell them a leaky apartment. No. And it's great profits to be made. You're awful. That's terrible. I'm awful, but I'm rich from sell them a leaky apartment. No. And there's great profits to be made. You're awful. That's terrible. I'm awful, but I'm rich from selling lots of leaky apartments.

Okay, I'll put you on the spot here. Ferndale, what would that area be like to live in? Which house would you want to live in? Ferndale is, oh my God, wherever the Warner house is, where I want to live. Okay, the Warner house, that would be top dollar in Ferndale, wouldn't it be? I'd say so.

He's supposed to be the richest man in the world, isn't he? So I don't know. We've got Angela Bloomfield with us. You know her from Rachel McKenna on Shortland Street now, a real estate agent. Are you related to Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? Is that a weird question? Oh, my goodness. I wish I was.

He actually does look like my dad and my brother. Oh, really? I don't know if I'm related to him. You know what I mean? I don't have Christmas dinner with him or anything. Well, yeah, because I wonder if you'll be passing on notes from, you were head of the hospital, weren't you, for a while in Shortland Street, so you could

pass over some notes? Absolutely. I think Rachel worked for the DHB for a while there. She did there. Was there any conflict of interest between you running the hospital and being related to the Director General of Health? Probably. Well, where can people find out more information about what you're doing right now?

I suppose on my Instagram. I've got a new Instagram handle and Facebook, which is so weird because usually my life is quite private. Do you know what I mean? It's like a line. And then I was building this Instagram, and it's got my phone number on it. And I'm like, what am I doing?

Yeah, because you have your phone number outside of houses and stuff, things like that, right? Absolutely. I have putting myself out there in a way that's quite converse to what I've done previously. Ben just buys a burner phone for his personal calls. So that could be something you could do. Just get a little burner phone

from the petrol station. Someone suggested that, but I just haven't quite got my head around wrangling two phones and how that, I'd have to speak to someone who has that little burner phone situation. Yeah, well, Ben does.

Ben does. He looks suspicious. We're all talking. Why has he got two phones? Yes, why? Angela Bloomfield, always good catching up with you. And congratulations on a very exciting new venture. Thank you, thank you.

Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We have released a second wave of Jono and Ben face masks, thanks to kindface.co.nz. This time, the Ashley Bloomfield signature range, which actually doesn't feature Ashley's signature. He has no part in this. I don't know if he'd approve of it,

but we've gone and done it anyway. It's a tribute to him. We're giving them away for free, thanks to kindface.co.nz. Got Ashley's image on there, which is vague enough that he couldn't really go us in a court of law. It also says, I'm a baby bloomer,

official Ashley Bloomfield fan club. So if you want one of those, 4487. But we thought we'd try something for the referendum today. Oh, you paused like it was an intro, but there's no intro for that. Well, you know what? I thought there might have been an intro. I was like, you looked at me. Everyone looked at me with panic in their eyes.

Yeah, we want to know out there, because obviously masks are mandatory on public transport. We all know that. But out in the street, they're not compulsory. You sort of see a 50-50 know out there, because obviously masks are mandatory on public transport. We all know that. But out in the street, they're not compulsory. You sort of see a 50-50 split out there. People wearing masks, people not wearing masks. That's how a 50-50 split works. Yeah. Or people wearing a half a mask, and that's also 50-50 as well.

You know, I'm going to go on a record and say I'm pro-mask. Yeah. I'm following the Prime Minister's orders. And I'm mask generally. Please wear them, Auckland. If you go to a shop, wear a mask. If you go to a mall,

wear a mask. Basically, when you step out of your home, we are asking you if you can please wear a mask. It seems like a good idea to protect yourself

and protect others as well. In fact, I got caught though. Producer Juliet, you did a Photoshop job of Jacinda Ardern wearing one of our masks. And I was like, oh, my God, she wore a mask. You guys are like, hey, guys, Photoshop.

I couldn't tell if it was a good Photoshop or not. I'm pretty bad at it. I was impressed by that. But anyway, she's not wearing one of our masks, but she is wearing a mask. And I'm all for it. Yep. So here is the question. Mask or no mask?

Same question Ben asks when he's feeling adventurous the question. Mask or no mask? Same question Ben asks when he's feeling adventurous as well. Mask or no mask tonight? I'll wait under the hits. One of those ones with the little zip-mapping on, that's quite cool. Well, it would help you with COVID. You wouldn't catch any COVID with one of those. I'll wait under the

hits. Are you a masker? Are you an anti-masker? Give us a call, whether you're around the rest of New Zealand or in Auckland. We just want to get a vibe of the nation. And if you do phone up, we'll send you out a Ashley Bloomfield signature range, not signature range mask. If you want one, that is. You might not want one if you're calling out.

We're not going to force it upon you, because it's your God-given right if you want to catch COVID. All right, Trump. Let's go to Cathy in Rangiora on 0800 The Hits. Cathy, welcome to the show. Anti-masker. Yes, I am. Why?

Well, Jacinda just can't tell me what to do, all right? Okay. She's not the boss of you. She's not the boss of you. That's the thing. If you want to go and get COVID-19, you go and get it. You know, we wouldn't get it if they turned the 5G towers off. No.

Oh, no. And the world, is it flat or round? What are you thinking? Of course it's flat. Yeah, of course it is. Amen, sister. You go and live your best life, Cathy. I appreciate your call.

Everyone's got an opinion on this, haven't they? Let's go to Alicia in the Coromandel. Welcome to the show, Alicia. Pro or anti-masks? Your thoughts? I'm definitely pro-masks, especially being in the Coromandel, welcome to the show. Alicia, pro or anti-masks? Your thoughts? I'm definitely pro-masks, especially being in the Coromandel. We get a lot of free traffic and not a lot of social distancing, because the Aucklanders like to come this way.

Oh, you bloody Aucklanders, come to the Coromandel! Come to the Coromandel! It's been quiet the last few days. I tell you what, yesterday morning we have had nothing but traffic free, so you know Auckland's out and about. Yeah, and you can tell they've got COVID, can't you? It's travelling past you, the COVID cars. And they don't social distance.

They just want to walk into our bubble. So I actually had a mask made up with a picture of one of my pet cows on it that says, only cows belong in my bubble. Cows in my bubble. That's awesome. Well, we'll send you out a Dr. Ashley Bloomfield commemorative mask as well, one of ours, okay? Cool, neat. Thank you so much. Alright, if you guys want one, just text 4487.

We'll get those out to you. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the edge. Kids these days, they're getting too smart. Yeah, they are. We need them to take a year or two off school. Well, at the moment, there have been a lot of gaps in the school year because of stuff going on.

Maybe it's for the best in hindsight. I was talking to a mate of mine a couple of days ago. He's got like a cute, you know, three or four-year-old kid and, you know, saying all the cute things. They'll say like, he's got a few grey hairs in his beard and this kid is like,

oh, you got stripes like a zebra. That's cute. But then I was sitting there that same night watching a movie with my kids, you know, getting eight and ten now. And then I was sitting there that same night watching a movie with my kids, you know, getting eight and ten now, and then we're watching like Spider-Man and Indy's like, who's eight?

It's going, green screen, green screen, that's a green screen. Oh, yeah. Whenever you watch anything with them, we're watching Star Wars and Oscar's like, fake, fake. I was like, yeah, it's all fake, mate. But back in the day, this was cutting edge technology. None of this actually happened. No one got bitten by a spider and it actually, you know, we know this. But they're getting too smart.

No, the internet's ruining them. We need to, I tell you what, we need to really stitch them up and unplug the internet. Then they'll be just wandering around just TikTok dancing aimlessly to nothing. Because I do remember when Sienna, who's my oldest, was about five years old, and one of the first things, she asked me something and I didn't know, and she's like, well, Google it. You're like, all right.

So, you know, it was like, oh, she knew already that Google it was asked me something and I didn't know and she's like well google it you're like all right so you know it was like oh she knew already that google it was the way to we didn't know that I know I know you just all you need to do now is hold a button down and just talk to it you don't even just type you're like tell me about this and it just does it instantly coolest thing I could do with technology back in the day was write rude words on my Casio calculator maybe you could turn it upside down Although you were saying to me the other day that you got your CD stuck. Yeah, that was something in your household. Oh yeah, that was when my mum Annie had a dinner party

and she wanted to turn on some, what was she into then? I think it was Gloria Estefan and the Sound Machine. Remember Gloria Estefan and the Sound Machine? They had some wonderful songs. And she tried to turn this on for a dinner party and Tupac's Hit Em Up song was stuck in there and he was quite upset with Notorious B.I.G. at the time.

Tupac was. They were feuding at the time, right? Yeah, and he was saying some less than savoury things on this track and it was stuck in the CD. So all they could listen to was Tupac saying how he wanted to murder Notorious B.I.G. You did a part of your mum. Those were the only troubles

that we had back in the day. I remember getting in trouble for sticking cashew nuts into the cassette player in the car. You know, that was the thing. It wouldn't happen these days, would it? There's no cassettes. There's no kid in the car eating cashew nuts either. Sad thing was that was only two years ago. He's still trying to do it in my car.

Mate, don't feed the car cashew nuts, Ben. They're meant to go in your mouth. Why does it have that little one? I know, it's for your mouth though, mate. It looks like a mouth. It looks like a mouth in the car. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Buy the WhatsApp. Buy doco.nz. Now for a bulletin featuring people with absolutely no wrinkles. And my crevicey ugly face shouldn't actually even be associated with them in the same bulletin, but here I am. I apologise for bringing this ago face. We might have to stop talking now.

To the beautiful people. You're forgiven. So the MTV VMAs were on yesterday, and obviously with coronavirus they had to have their restrictions in place. So some of the performances, award presentations and red carpet interviews were already pre-recorded. Really takes away the surprise element

of whether you're going to win an award or not. That's what I was thinking too. And the ones that were live, it was held outdoors on this outdoor stage in New York I think it was held outdoors on this outdoor stage in New York, I think it was. And they had CGI fake audience and sound effects. Like this is Lady Gaga when she won.

Thank you. Love you MTV. Thank you to the fans. Love you Monster. It's like the live sport when they put fake sound effects and all that. Sounds quite good. Sounds quite realistic. So she's talking to no one there though. Apart from like some sort of sweaty camera guy with his plumbers crack out filming

and so kudos to her for a wonderful performance of acting like she was doing an award speech talking loud like there was a lot of people there

well done Gaga projecting great performer I think she's got a career in front of her yeah I think so and speaking of she did win quite a few

awards I think she was one of the big winners so she won artist of the year best collaboration song of the year and the tr winners. So she won Artist of the Year, Best Collaboration, Song of the Year, and the Tricon Award. And she also had nine costume changes throughout the whole thing. And nine different masks as well, too. Each one had a different mask that went with it,

which is quite impressive. So she's won the Lifetime Achievement Award, which was the Michael Jackson Lifetime Achievement Award, but they changed the name. Yes. Michael Jackson, he achieved some stuff in his lifetime. Not all of it condoned by society, obviously. No.

So they changed that. When did they change that? I'm not actually sure, but it's called the Tricon Award now, and it's usually the most prestigious of the MTV VMAs. So she took that one out in her mini mask and mini costumes. Were you across Toddy, our boss, last night? A late night WhatsApp barrage yeah because we have

a WhatsApp group for the show that Todd is part of my boss Todd and he was always like oh Jason Derulo fell down the stairs he's like

Jason Derulo quick you know you've got to get onto this tomorrow Jason Derulo's fallen down the stairs at the MTV Awards and I'm like

well I need to see this blooper I am a sucker for a blooper so I'm looking on the internet and I'm like even in a pre-recorded

awards ceremony they said it did end that's why I was like... Even in a pre-recorded awards ceremony, they sent it in. That's why I was like, oh, okay. Derulo, if it happened, would have been like, can we just do a take two on that? No, this is so good. Ace plans down the stairs. But then I looked and I was thinking,

I can't find this anywhere. I can't find Jace Derulo falling down stairs. It didn't happen in the... No, but then I go back to 2005 and not at the MTV Awards, but the Met Gala, he apparently took a little tumble down some stairs. Oh, so that's where Todd had been mixed up.

But I'm like, how did Todd take such a wrong turn on the internet? He ended up on an article from 2005. I think it was a chardonnay that helped him get there. Todd, that's how Todd got there. A chardonnay or two. Or a salve or something, you know, maybe? Maybe he mentioned it.

Maybe he did. I don't know, but anyway, that's the subject of the day. So if it did happen, well, at least we've covered it off in some way. For more Spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz and Viva the Magazine Volume 1 has gone glossy. It's a glossy edition. It's on sale nationwide. If you want more information, you can text Viva to 4487.

Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Important dad dates. Thanks to grabone.co.nz. It is Father's Day on Sunday, so we want to put one dad on the spot with some dates. They probably should know, and joining us right now is James in Rotorua. How's things, buddy?

Morning, Ben. I'm good, yourself? Yeah, we're doing well. Oh, you didn't ask me how I was, but I tried to deny your interaction. Yeah, no, James and I, we've covered our bases. Now over to Jono. Sorry.

No, no, that was very rude of me. James, do you want to talk to Jono or not? Oh, yeah, Jono. Hey, morning, Jono. How are you, mate? Yeah, morning to you, James. Sorry, I rudely jumped all over that. That's fine.

Now, James, we're going to put your dad on the spot, are we? Yeah, roger. Yep, he'll be up. He'll be good. What's Mike like with just remembering things, just general life administration?

Oh, he's pretty good, but, you know, he's getting on in age, so. Okay, so you're trying to capitalise on his vulnerable old age, the old age memory loss. Yeah, he's got a few mokos, birthdays to remember, so. Oh, wow. Okay, so we should get some of those Mokko's dates. What are your kids' birthdays? 31st January.

That's my oldest daughter. Okay. And we shall go for my birthday, which I'll give him an easy one. Yeah. 13th of December. 13th of December, yeah. And...

I've actually put myself on the spot. My youngest, my son's birthday, but he should remember that because he's pretty bloody good. But I can't quite remember my son's birthday. It's pretty bloody terrible. Hey, I've got four of them, so... Okay, okay.

I do need to get them tattooed on me just so I can bloody remember. I love this. This is not meant to be how the game goes. Okay, so we've got... What's your oldest daughter's name, James? Heidi. Heidi.

Heidi, okay. And so we've got your birthday, and do you want another date then if you can't remember your son's? Let's say if he knows Valentine's Day, what Valentine's Day falls on, all right? Oh, well, we'll go my wife's birthday. Oh, okay, then I didn't like my suggestion.

He should remember that. What's her birthday? Valentine's Day. We'll go with that, eh? He did like your suggestion, Ben. I did. Oh, that's good. It's like a personal attachment to the 40s.

I like it. Okay, let's go through to Mike. Hello? Okay, let's go through to Mike. Hello. Oh, hello, is that Mike? Speaking. Mike, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits. You're on the radio. We've got your son James with us,

and this is Important Dates. Okay. You've got three dates in your life. We're going to ask you questions, and if you can get all three right, you'll get $100 Grab One voucher for each one you get correct. Uh-huh.

Okay, you sound apprehensive. Oh, okay. Go on. Heidi, your moko. Yes. She has a birthday. What date is their birthday? Oh, I don't know that one.

Sorry. I'll give you the month. It's January. January, okay. Okay, okay. Still got any bells? How many days are in January? How many days are in January?

Don't double down on it. Poor old Mike's already under the puff. Now we're asking him how many days are in January, January, January. Let's just say, what is the day after the 30th, Mike? Oh, it's the 31st. Oh, of course. There we go. If it wasn't live, we could edit that together, but we can't.

So well done. $100 to grab one it wasn't live, we could edit that together, but we can't. So well done. $100 to grab one so far. Mike, one from one. And let's just say it was a little bit of a journey to get there. We got there, though. That's the journey of discovery. I've got to tell you, though, I don't have to remember that. Bed, day, school is a couple of weeks out.

They'll remind me. That's what you rely on. That's what we all start to rely on. You rely on Facebook. All right, Mike, your next question. James, who's on the line right now, your son, what's his birthday? 13th of December. Oh, well done.

Now he's back $200 worth of Grab One vouchers for Father's Day. And your final question for $300 Grab One vouchers. James, James's wife has a birthday. When is Kirsten's birthday? Oh, no, you got me birthday. When is Kirsten's birthday? Oh, no, you got me there. Sorry, Kirsten. One of the most romantic days in the year, Michael. Is that right?

Yeah. He's like, well, thank you for telling me what you get up to. It sounds like James is like, it's the one night of the year that we embrace and we make more Heidis. Is that right? Is that right? I'm glad, I'm glad.

Oh, you're a good sport. We put you on the spot. $300 GrabOne vouchers coming your way, all right? Cool, thanks, mate. Hey, Dad, don't say I didn't get you anything. Happy Father's Day, Mike. Happy Father's Day, James. Wonderful stuff. You guys go and have a wonderful day. Cheers, Jeff. Thank you didn't get you anything. Happy Father's Day, Mike. Happy Father's Day, James. Wonderful stuff.

You guys go and have a wonderful day. Cheers, Jeff. Thank you. See you, guys. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. I've got a rat problem.

I feel like we're the rat show. We're always offering rat updates. I had a rat problem too, didn't I? You come with rat content. I come with rat content. The worrying thing is I don't know always offering rat updates. I had a rat problem too, didn't I? You come with rat content, I come with rat content. The worrying thing is I don't know where that rat went. It was there in the backyard. It was hissing at the dog. It was jumping.

I told you the story. You said it was the size of a chubby little baby, didn't you? Yeah, hopefully it got itself up the property ladder and went to a better neighbourhood. That's what I hope. That was the one that was frothing at the mouth and leaping at you. It was like the Michael Jordan of rats. Yeah, the dog and I were very scared when we went back inside.

We just couldn't handle the rat. But the size ratio, we shouldn't be scared of them, but we are. Yeah. Aren't we? This was a bigger rat, but still, you're right. It wasn't, you know, compared to the dog and I, it was still small. Well, I've got a rat in the roof at the moment, which is better than a fiddler in the roof,

because the fiddle is a very annoying instrument. Right. The fiddler in the roof. That's a great production. It is a good production, fiddler on the roof because the fiddle is a very annoying instrument. The fiddler on the roof. That's a great production. It is a good production, fiddler on the roof. I don't know that actually. I've heard of the name. But yeah, we've got rat traps with the baits around the house

just to try and catch them because apparently they can eat this bait and then they go off, they get a dry mouth and then they go off and slowly, yeah, just go to sleep. Of course they go to sleep. Go to sleep for the family-friendly audience. Yeah. Sleep, they never wake up from the rats. But we've got these all around, and the rat guy comes around,

he says, like, well, they're eating them. I was like, well, they're still here, and they're in the roof. Like, if I dong the bathroom roof, this is the noise they make. Oh, is that their little feet? That's their little claws. Going on. Claws running on the top of the roof. And I keep, it's like I've got a little latch in the roof

and I keep throwing stuff in there. I think I'm just fattening them up. Christmas is not far away. Yeah, like at some point, by December, by Christmas, I'm probably going to have to move out of the house and let them live there. The rats will be like, mate, time to stop it. I love those rats.

You'll come up and they'll be a Heineken and a trap and they'll get you. Rats have set that for you. You'll be like, ooh, a bear. But he said, the rat guy said that they're getting so big now, the size of a baby's arm. I don't know why I keep using babies as a size of measurement, but yeah, they're so big. So they have like a baby's arm. I don't know why I keep using babies as a size of measurement, but yeah. They're so big.

So they have like a cylinder where they put the bait in. And the small rats usually walk into the cylinder, get the bait and walk out. But they're too big and too fat to get inside the cylinder. So he's body shaming the rats. Yeah. They're rampant at the moment. They're taking over these rats. Is it because of what's been going on in the world

or is it just where we are in society now? Well, I was wondering that, because a lot of the country was shut down for a period there, so the rats are probably like, oh, we can just walk out and no one's trying to stamp on us or poison us. Imagine what the rats were getting up to while we were all locked down.

A loving life. Guess who's back? Back. Rats are back. The rats are back again. So, yeah, we'll keep you updated with this ongoing rat issue in both of our households. Yeah, okay.

We'll do the rat show. Maybe we should clean our houses more. Maybe that's it. Remember when you'd just put a little bit of cheese down and you'd get a rat? Not nowadays. No, no, no, 2020. It's another thing that's taken from us.

Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm Ash Thomas and this is the B***ing News. In some sort of sick, sadistic game, producer Juliet beeps out certain words from headlines and we can't understand what they are, Ben.

No, we have to work out what they are and we never do that well with it. You never see Simon Dallow doing this on One News, do you? Maybe they should. Yeah. A couple of times you guys have been accurate though. You guys have... Ben's nailed about three of them. I've had no ones. Surprisingly, surprisingly. I feel like you guys might do quite well on these ones today.

Okay. All right. Brazilian islands to reopen for tourists who have had... Who have had Brazilian waxes. I'm going to go diamond encrusted G-strings. Brazilian islands to reopen for tourists who have had COVID-19. And for people who have had COVID-19. And for people who have had COVID-19 only, no other tourists are allowed on these particular Brazilian islands.

What if they've had Brazilian waxes too? That might be fine. I heard about this. Yeah, so their theory is that a very small percentage of the population... Hold on, you've heard about it, but you didn't guess the right answer. Well, now she said that. Now she said the full headline. I'm like, oh yeah, I did actually hear about this.

Yeah, so they reckon that a very small percentage of the population get COVID-19 again, if at all. So if you've had it before, you're allowed to go stay in the resorts. Yeah. Because they don't reckon you'll get it again. So it's for the immune people. And it's like the, was it the Swiss who sort of did the herd immunity, didn't they?

Sweden. Sweden. How'd that work out for them? I think it's still gone. I think it's still gone. Not anywhere in the world. Yeah. But, yeah, so. They're losing a lot of the elderly in Sweden, aren't they work out for them? I think it's still gone. I think it's still gone. Is that true? Anywhere in the world, yeah. But yeah, so.

They're losing a lot of the elderly in Sweden, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. Right. It's a controversial approach. I know. I think even America, one of the advisors are looking into it as well. So, you know, yeah. So, maybe in the long term, it's fine.

But at the moment, it seems like a huge risk. I suppose you reach a point where you're like, oh, no, no. Now we'll just do herd immunity. We're in deep. Yeah. We can lose the top end. Scary, scary. Next headline.

UK radio station is playing **** every day for the next four months. Playing the John and Ben podcast from iHeartRadio. Bit of integration there. We've been told to plug the podcast. I reckon the UK radio station is playing the show Shukrak Novus windscreen commercials every day. I wish. For the next four months.

UK radio station is playing Christmas songs every day for the next four months. Okay, why? So they think that in a shocking year, we need a bit of Christmas festivity in our lives. And so, you know, sometimes, I don't know whether you guys are a big fan of Christmas music or not. I do enjoy it. I can handle it for four weeks. Yeah, but then you get sometimes a little early and you're like, oh, hang on, it's November. We spilled more. Why are we cranking this out? But you're right. Yeah, but then you get sometimes a little early and you're like, well, hang on, it's November. We spilled more.

Why are we cranking this out? But you're right. Yeah, yeah. So for the people that love Christmas, it's aimed to just increase the spirits and be like, well, the year's basically over already. There's not much else that can happen because COVID's already basically taken over the whole year.

May as well get to Christmas. Their radio station's going to regret committing to that in about a week. Is all they're playing a Christmas song? I think so. I think so. Every day for four months. Seems like a wild programming decision. Michael Buble's the new programmer there. I've got to get some of my songs on. And the last headline.

Trump hands out *** and thinks it can be sold on eBay for $10,000. Trump hands out what? I don't know. I reckon orange tan kits. I reckon Trump hands out $11,000 and thinks it can be sold for $10,000 on eBay. Oh, creative.

Trump hands out autograph and thinks it can be sold on eBay for $10,000. Would you, do you reckon that could be sold for $10,000? Not, nah, probably not his autograph, to be honest. Yeah. At an auction maybe, one of those drunken auctions that all the corporates go to. Yeah.

True. And what had he signed? Just a piece of paper? Yeah, yeah. And apparently he didn't write his name or write a message. He was just like, Donald Trump, blah, blah, blah. And he kept on handing them out being like, eBay, $10,000. eBay, $10,000.

He did quite a good impression of him. It's over. It's over, New Zealand. You're beautiful Big surge Big surge And that was the news of beefs Thank you Juju

No worries Start your day The wrong way It's Jono and Ben on the hits Scrolling through your feed There is nothing that Ben Boyce Doesn't know from the internet He is across everything

All of your internet history He knows everything about everyone You've got some dark skeletons In those closets I know I know Don't delete your cookies because I know. I know what's there.

What other cookies? I don't know. I think it's something about privacy or something like that. Keep it in, yeah. Well, you want to leave your cookies in

or you want to take them out? No, I think you can delete them down. It's like an extra security thing I think to get rid of it. So the cookie's the real, like, that's where it catches you.

So the US Tennis Open, the first major tennis tournament kicking off today, the first major tennis tournament, kicking off today, US time. Someone already, and they've got a bubble, but someone in the bubble already caught COVID-19, so there's a bit of doubt of whether it's going to go ahead. But no crowds this year in New York

for one of the biggest tennis tournaments in the world. That's the same with the NBA too, isn't it? They're based in Florida. If one person got that, the NBA would be over. Yeah, well, you'd think it'd be pretty close to being over because they're all in the same bubble. Yeah, but I was saying the other day that they test the athletes in the NBA

every single morning. They have to do temperature checks, they have to do all sorts of tests, and they have a little lanyard that when they're walking around campus, they go close to someone, it goes, and it basically tells you, basically, like a QR code who you've interacted with. Which is pretty high-tech security. Those nannies must be going

overtime on the court when they're playing against each other, unless I get into semantics. It all goes out the window when they are playing the court, but you were a big tennis player when you were young. No, I wasn't a big tennis player. My mum wanted me to become Pete Sampras or Andre Agassi or Rafael Nadal.

And she would enter me into tennis tournaments and school holidays. But I was shocking. She would drop me off in the morning and then I'd lose in the first round. Then I'd lose in the first round of the plate round, which is the special round. But then if you have lost in first games

in both of those rounds, you get to go to a very special round. Like the ultimate mongy round. Right. And I lost in that. And then I just sat there eating toasted sandwiches for two weeks over the school mongy round. Right. And I lost in that and then I just sat there eating toasted sandwiches for two weeks

over the school holidays. Oh, two weeks. I see why she signed you up though. Get you out of the house for two weeks. It was a smart play by her. She thought I was so much better than I was

and they thought I was like a really good swimmer. I was there like, you're going to make the Olympics, Jay. This is what happens when you're an only child. All their chips

are in with you. No one to compare you with either. I know. Your brother's actually quite good. I'm a shocking swimmer. I'm drowning here. You'll make the Olympics one day, son. No.

And some local news. So it seems like no spitting under level two in New Zealand. Spitting's one of my favourite hobbies. Which makes sense, I guess, with COVID-19 around. But an athlete in an Athletics New Zealand cross-country challenge over the weekend, he got disqualified. He won the over 50 event, but then he got disqualified because they caught him spitting.

Really? On the course. He reckons he wasn't the only one, but apparently they went, oh, you spat twice, you've lost the title. Wow. Which I guess, mate, he was like, well, he thought they were joking when they first said it. Well, had they laid out the no spitting rules? I don't know, but he didn't

get a warning or anything. He just go, alright, mate, you know, the title's not yours anymore. Oh, well, Julia, you're running the marathon, aren't you, later this year? Yeah, the half. And I tell you what, when you're doing long runs, it really does build up and you do have to spit. So I tried to do it not in a public place, like just around the corner

of a bush or something, so no one sees the horrid sight of someone spitting. I was telling you before the show, I vividly remember there used to be a game show on TV called Game of Two Halves, like a sporting quiz show, and they would always play this clip of this marathon runner, and he was running and nature took its course while

he was running. It happens sometimes when they're running. Yeah, and so then he had it in his hands and then threw it at the next runner. Oh, wow. Great tactic. In his hand. Did he just? What?

Did you just? Wow. And neither of them could stop running. You run a little bit faster, though, if you've got that. You know, the guy behind you was, anyway. I want that level of commitment from you at the marathon. I will. I want you throwing it all over the place like a monkey. I will. And that is

scrolling through your feed this morning. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Masks are mandatory on public transport all around New Zealand. I saw a nice photo in today's New Zealand Herald of Jacinda Ardern and Phil Goff, the Auckland Mayor doing an elbow bump, you know,

like a little elbow greeting. And their masks looking good, aren't they? The elbow, is that back? It was popular in lockdown number one, the old elbow, wasn't it? Yeah, I think it is back because obviously we're not back to shaking hands and stuff again, the social distancing level too. But we have come back. I tell you what also has come back is our masks

with a slight change, a more popular change, I believe. Yeah, have a listen. Back by forced popular public demand. We want more. We want more. The Jono and Ben face masks. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. The masks were just great for avoiding my neighbour in the supermarket.

I stole a TV in my mask and no one knew it was me. Until now. This time, Jono and Ben present a new, sleek, stylish range of face nappies. Get some face masks and have them as part of your kit at home. The commemorative Dr Ashley Bloomfield range. Our new normal. It's going to be the new normal to have Ashley all over your face. Virus is the problem here, not the people who have it. So get a state-of-the-art face mask, perfect for smelling

your own coffee breath. Masks can be washed and reused. The Dr. Ashley Bloomfield mask includes a nondescript Ashley Bloomfield image, not specific enough so he can sue us. Get enough for you and your family members. And the official logo of the unofficial Ashley Bloomfield fan club, the Baby Bloomers. Baby, baby, baby. Bloomer. One thing's for certain, there's a community outbreak of beating hearts for Ashley Bloomfield.

I love him so much, I would stick an invasive rod up my nose. He's had our hearts in a cluster, so become a baby bloomer. Say thanks to Ashley for all his hard work by commemorating the man on your face. Use every tool in the toolbox. Get your sanitised hands on Jono and Ben's range of commemorative Ashley Bloomfield face masks for free. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. There we go, and fever pitch online last night. Not a COVID-19-based fever either.

No, because with a mask, you hopefully avoid the fevers by wearing those masks. But a lot of people want the masks, so if you want one, 4487 on the text. We've got a few to flick out right now, and we want to keep them going throughout the week, giving them away for free thanks to kindface.co.nz. Oh, yeah.

Next, we do the A to Z of New Zealand, phoning every town and city in Aotearoa. Yesterday we went to Fernside in North Canterbury. How long have you lived there, Sandy? 30 plus years. Do you know my uncle used to be the detective of Rangiora? Oh really? David Cartwright, are you familiar with him? Oh, absolutely.

No, I'm well. I used to gook and pick for him. You picked his gookings? Yes, he knows a crew of gooking girls and I used to gherkin pick for him. Oh, you picked his gherkins? Yes, he and I was a crew of gherkin girls and we used to have great fun. Something I love about the gherkin girls. The gherkin girls. There needs to be a TV show. The gherkin girls.

Sitting gherkin in a gherkin head or gherkin head or something. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is where we call every town or city in New Zealand. We're calling one a day. We're doing it alphabetically.

It's going to take us a couple of years to call every town and city in New Zealand. That is the A to Z of New Zealand. And we're heading to Hastings today. Flaxmere, it's a township in Hastings. It's got a small shopping centre with a supermarket, a petrol station, a post office, a bakery, a video store, a butchery, indoor rock climbing centre, four churches and an indoor swimming pool named Flaxmere Water World. Four churches? Four churches. That's a lot of churches for a very small place.

I suppose when you break down each denomination, you've got your Cathos, you've got your Johos, you've got your Satanists, all your Big Bangers. Christians, Presbyterians Anglins all that sort of stuff yeah I mean they really build up the numbers I'm a Catholic

proud proud aren't I oh no no you say that he looks at me like I'm the most ungodly Catholic you really like

why anyway anyway you did it to get the kids into a school hey hey hey I understand I understand I did it because I believe kids into a school Hey, hey, hey

I understand, I understand I did it because I believe in the Lord Because you were going there every weekend before that And I still go at Christmas time Right, good Once a year Good, I'm blessed Anyway, it's not about how I got my kids into a Catholic school

This is about going to a flaxmere bed And finding out more about flaxmere Let's go. Welcome to Flaxmere Pharmacy speaking with Lynette. Got a good one on the phone here, Ben. I can tell. We've been doing this a long time and I can pick the good ones. Oh, good one. Lynette, is it? Yes. It's Jono and Ben from the

Hits radio station. Oh, hello. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. Flaxmere's next on the list. Come on down. Right. Right. Now, what can you tell us about Flaxmere? It is an awesome place.

Really nice community, team spirit, and they all stick together and help out, family and friends. Oh, listen, I love a good community spirit. Yeah, really great. Now, Flaxmere. Flax, are you a fan of it, the plant? No. Yeah, I remember I had a horrific flax incident at primary school.

I jumped into a bush of flax, and it's quite en masse. It can cut you up to smithereens, can't it, Lynette? Yes, it can. Good for a basket, though. You can weave a nice basket. Oh, yeah, you can. It's a beautiful product. You can make long-lasting products, but I wouldn't like to fall into the bush. Is there a lot of flax in flax, Mia, or is that?

No, no. So you're lying to us. Yeah, there's a bit, but not a lot. Not a lot. Not enough to say, hey, this is the place known for flax. No. No. Hey, Lynette, you work in the pharmacy.

Yes. Yeah, your moisturisers and your... Your face masks. Oh, yeah, they're going out the door, are they? Yes, yeah. Now, what are your thoughts on the face mask? Are you for or against? I'm wearing one now, so I'm for,

because if you can't have the two-metre distancing, I think we should be wearing them. It seems very sensible, doesn't it? Yeah, it's a sensible thing to do. I can't tell you're wearing a face mask. If you had said, am I or am I not wearing a face mask, I would have said you're not. Well, I am.

I would have said you're not, though. No, but you're crystal clear. You're doing a great job. Yeah. What's the best thing to buy in the pharmacy for under $20? Oh, that's a hard one. I'm coming in here, it's Jono's birthday on the weekend. Let's say I'm going in, I've got the pharmacy and flaxmere,

that's all I've got time to go to, what am I buying him? We've got some awesome New Zealand themed socks. Oh, socks, they're good. I'm not a sock guy. Okay, he's not a sock guy.

I'm an honest, give me something else. A bubble bath, do you like a bubble bath? Yes, we've got, yep, we've got bubble baths. Oh, I do like a bubble bath. There you go.

Suck it for a bubble bath, Lynette. Do you like a bubble bath? I probably shouldn't ask you. No, don't, No, a little inappropriate. What's one thing we should do if we come to Flaxmere? Oh, if you've got kids, there's an awesome park across the road. Yeah.

There's a local pub. Lynette's like, I'm really reaching here. I started strong with the community and that was heartfelt stuff. Now Ben's doubled down. He wants more. Hey, Lynette. Yeah. Let's hope one day we all get to bubble bath together.

Okay. Maybe that glorious day will come one day. Oh, yeah. But until that moment. I don't know if we get social distance in the bath. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Hey, lovely to talk. Lovely talking to you. You have a great day. You too. Thank you for hanging in the bath. Yeah. All right. Hey, lovely to talk. Lovely talking to you. You have a great day. You too. Thank you for hanging. You're a legend. See ya. The A to Z of New Zealand will continue tomorrow with another town or city

as we make our way through every town and city in New Zealand. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Bye. No WhatsApp. Bye. Docco.nz.

Now for a bulletin featuring people who get paid a lot and bullied on the internet. Here's producer Juliet with Spy. So Prince Harry, he was speaking to some rugby players over a Zoom conference and said that he's keen to get Archie playing the game even though he's only 15 months old. Probably what I need is a few mini rugby balls

that I can then get Archie involved with the game because at the moment it's impossible to find any. But I've got a little bit of space outside, which we're fortunate enough to have. So I need to get him playing some rugby league. Oh, rugby league? Yeah. Okay, well, listen, I think if Prince Harry wanted to obtain any rugby balls,

he would be able to do so. He seems like the sort of guy who could get that happening. Well, I think so. Even like the Rebel Sports don't click and collect, I think, you know, stuff like that. We could send him one. We could. We'll send him one.

We'll get him a Warriors ball. Well, that's what I was thinking. As soon as I saw that, I'm like, well, they're now just going to get sent so many packages of mini rugby balls. You know, it's like when celebrities say, oh, I really need something of this. Fans just send it to them in bulk. So they probably won't be short of rugby balls from now that he said that.

She's all I could do with a Lamborghini. I'm trying to put myself in a category of celebrity. I love it too. I take it the time, but my Tag Heuer watch is no longer working. So I'd love a new one of those. Dropping them hits. I don't have one. I just always see those flash ads, you know, with all, like, Chris Hemsworth and stuff like that.

Jeez, the watch industry must be, like, sinking with the amount of money they pay people for watch endorsements. Yeah, I know. It's a big thing, right? Are there many people buying watches? Well, I guess you only need to buy one or two and you'll probably make your money back, but yeah. Do you guys wear watches? No, I'm not really. No, I tried to commit to a watch and then it seems like one of those things.

It's like going to the gym. You need to really make it consistent. And you can just look at your phone for the time. Oh, I'm such a millennial saying that. Mum won't approve, but, you know, it's just so convenient on your phone nowadays. Is your mum blindly passionate about watches, is she? Well, she likes the old things in life.

Traditions. No daughter of mine will not be telling the time, not on her wrist. I know. She even has one of those Roman numeral analog clocks. Oh, God, I hate Roman numerals. So that's how I know them because we've got one of those in our house. Why did the Romans need their own numerals? What's wrong with our numerals?

Oh, sure, good question. Oh, God. And Chadwick Boseman, who, as you probably know, passed away from cancer a few days ago. So he played the Black Panther. That's really sad, eh? It was really sad, yeah, because he was battling cancer for four years in private.

No one really knew. And so it only sort of came out when he passed. But Denzel Washington, in fact fact paid for his fees at university to act. And so that's now come out that he was kind of like, saw this little Chadwick Boseman and was like, I want to get him

through acting. So it was a really nice thing to read that. Yeah, it is a lovely thing. Don't you like it when you hear stories like that? Who have you put through university, mate? Who have you put through radio school? Oh, I don't know. I put myself through that.

Still paying that off. John has sponsored some pandas for a while. Yeah, I'll put my kids through if they want. I've heard about all the great charitable stuff. I've done this hour. Denzel's come in here. He's done something nice. What's been voiced up?

I need to work on it. Up my game, guys. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz and Viva. They have a glossy edition and it's on sale nationwide. For more info, you can text Viva to 4487. I'm reading this magazine right now. It's just jam-packed from beginning to end with beautiful-looking, fashionable people. Yeah.

I wouldn't be able to make the cut for this. You're saying you say how it smelled nice, the magazine. It does smell nice. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hatch. Jeez, the show just never stops. Just keep on going. There's always more talking to do.

So why is today going to be a good day? We like to end the show on a positive note. Get some positivity back out into New Zealand today. Tuesday, I liken it to the Jono priorryor of weekdays. It's a bit vanilla. No one really wants it there, but you tolerate it to get through to Wednesday. Some people don't tolerate you, but that's fine. Yeah, so why is it going to be a good day for you?

We'd love to hear from you on 0800 THE HITS 4487 on the text. Had a wonderful walk with my wife Jennifer yesterday and we discussed our goals and dreams and aspirations as a couple. Oh, that's lovely. Turns out I'm not part of her dreams. It's going to be like, oh really? But she. It turns out I'm not part of her dreams. Or aspirations. It's going to be like, oh, really?

Well, she's got great dreams. I fully agree with her dreams. You go off and spread your wings. Get out of here. Get out of my state. No, it's going to be a great day. Why is it going to be a good day, Juliet? What have you got?

You're running for your marathon. Oh, my God, I am. I have to do 60 minutes of hills today. And it's why it's going to be a great day. Why do you just not do the marathons? Why don't you just pull out of the marathon? No, because I want to get it done. I've always wanted to do one. Back in some times in life, give up on things, mate.

Thanks. That's not what this segment's about. No, it's not what this segment's about. It's about positivity. You get out there and you run them hills. Run them well. Thank you, I will. It's 4487. Why is it going to be a good date? Let's head to Marlborough. Jeez, Marlborough. You can't have a bad time in Marlborough. That's what I've always said.

Siobhan, welcome. Hi there. Good to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. Why is it going to be a good Tuesday for you, Shev? Because it's my birthday. Uh-oh. Carol Baskin. It's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sit and party like it's your birthday.

And you know we don't give a fudge that it's your birthday. What have you got planned for your birthday? Oh, well my two little girls baked me a lovely chocolate cake, so we're going to have that after school for afternoon tea. Oh, awesome. Well, you can grab yourself a double pasta, the movies as well, as well as our

Ashley Bloomfield masks. Very cool. Thank you so much. Good on you, Siobhan. Let's go to Kimberley. Whereabouts in Altotearoa are you, Kimbo? Hello. Sorry, I lost you there because the signal's not the greatest. Oh, that's all right. You didn't even have to apologise because you came on flawlessly. Probably a textbook caller, I would have said.

Very good. Yes, very good. Now, why is today going to be a good day for you? Well, it's a snow day down here and my kids are at home and yeah. Whereabouts in the country are you? I'm in a little country area called Rokeby. Oh, Rokeby. Go outside in the snow. Take us out in the snow.

Well, it's actually turned a bit to sleep now, so. Take us out in the sleep. Why do you want to go outside? Well, they send all the news reporters out there in the weather. No, it's cold. I've just come back in. How committed are you to this show, Kimberley? This show that we don't pay you for.

It's not going to sound any different. Yeah, I know. I always find that so unnecessary when they send the reporters out into the elements. You're like, wait, why am I doing it out here? I could do this and we could look out a window and get the same result. Exactly. Well, you have a great day with your kids on your snow day. We're going to give you a double pass to the movies as well as an Ashley Bloomfield commemorative face mask. Get the same result. Exactly. Well, you have a great day with your kids on your snow day.

We're going to give you a double pass to the movies as well as an Ashley Bloomfield commemorative face mask. Oh, fantastic. Thank you so much. You look out. Sorry, you're going to start. Oh, no, you go. No, you go, Kim. Sorry.

I want to say hi, darling. Richard, Maxon, out there in the elements sorting the sheep out. Oh, Richard, what a darling out there in the elements. Well, you have a great day out in the Elements, Richard. Let's get back inside soon. You have a great day out there, New Zealand. We'll catch you tomorrow from 6. You can catch up on the podcast on iHeartRadio.