Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - September 04 - PM Jacinda Ardern, Jono's Worst Moments, I Know Someone So Tight They...

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

Happy Friday! On today's poddy we chatted to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern about the current Covid situation in NZ, what it's like to prep for her press conferences and if she ever wishes she could have a day off. We also crossed to some Big News from a Small Town - where in Upper Hutt, an Elvis impersonation competition is going on. We talked to hilarious Kathy about it. Finally, we covered our worst moments of the week. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Tell you what, Ben boys, I love Fridays. I drive to work in the morning, I'm like, ooh, I feel good.

Do you feel good about Fridays? Yeah, well, Friday for us, and once we get out of there, it's the longest time until we have to work again, isn't it? Yeah, that's like the moment at 10am, that's when you start,

you start drinking. Yeah, well, yeah, but give it a couple more hours. What's the earliest you've had a drink on Friday? I had one with Boss Todd at 11.30 one day.

Oh, did you? I was like, this is a little weird. It feels like, for some reason, midday's still like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know why midday's the magical number and lockdown that went out

the window didn't it oh no it's pretty much like you'd be like no but wait oh you waited till midday at least midday you know you're a bit sometimes we wait to fight i'd be gonna this is ridiculous i've gotta wait till five i've gotta wait you'd wait till five i'm gonna get through your day yeah because otherwise you'd be like because you're at home you're like oh i'm in the fridge you're like there's nothing better than parenting while intoxicated, is there? I find my parenting improves. Oh, does it improve, does it? Yeah, I'm doing more wild things.

Taking bigger risks. Haircuts. Who wants haircuts? Family, come around here. Oh, okay. We're in lockdown. Who reckons they can climb to the top of that tree with their eyes closed? Yeah.

Great parenting. Great, Barry. Much more fun. We've got a fun show for you today. We catch up with the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, and we ask her some big questions today. We ask her her favourite pop song, and we also ask her her favourite piece of Kiwiana. Would she rate herself higher than a potato-top pie?

That's her answer. Amazed me, actually. I was quite astounded by that. And as well as that We really We went in a way We created unnecessary pressure On a Friday

But we threw it out there Anyone from the North-South rugby game Listening Could we get a rugby player That's playing on the phone And we managed to get one The radio version of Morning Breath It's Jono and Ben on the hits

Last night I received an email I didn't tell you this We went out for dinner on Sunday night And the poor young waiter, you know, the poor pubescent waiter who's probably been made to work there by his parents to go out and get pocket money, he spilt eight wontons on me.

Covered in sweet and sour sauce, yeah. We ordered a dozen, so there were still four left. But I could just feel... Did you eat some crotch wont crotch wanton yeah it's actually my favorite type of one time alongside floor carpet one time uh but i could i i didn't know what it actually happened because they went to my back i just i could just hear oh jesus i just heard that poor guy but you know in that situation there's nothing you can do oh yeah i'm not a complainer in a restaurant, so I'm not going to be like... I'm not a Karen, that's right.

You shut down my dear management. I'm not one of those people. So I was like, listen, it's fine. It's okay. I find it really awkward. Have you ever been out for dinner when someone sent something back? Oh, I find that as a Kiwi in New Zealand, you're like, this is awkward. Yes.

Everything we go against. I know. You're like, oh, God. You want to slump down in your seat. Because sometimes people can do it in a nice way. Go, oh, hey, you know, this is a bit cold. Or can you, you know, I just. Other people can go, this is not what I eat.

Oh, God. All I think about is what part of his body the chef is putting into that meal. Yes. Backstage. Yeah, yeah. You know, in the kitchen. You're like. Don't do that.

No, this is a bad move. Just eat it. Anyway, they sent me a $ dollar voucher last on an email oh that's lovely so I would mate if I'm ever out at dinner pour whatever you want on me if it means I'm going to get a voucher

pour a ton of wantons on me I'll take them all and the other reason I have sympathy is because I did used to be a waiter oh what half a shift you left half a shift it was at Ellerslie race course

I did two half shifts it's like I used to be a race car driver because I drove to work this morning. Well, halfway through one shift, the shift he's referring to. You left. Yeah, I left.

I left halfway through the shift. I was like, this is not for me. I'm no good at this. I had actually spilled. You couldn't do the shift out though. No, but the thing is, I had spilled like champagne down a lady and she again was lovely.

She was like, it's fine, it's fine. I was like, oh, this is not the game for me. I'll get out. And so I walked away halfway through the shift. But then they kept rostering me on for another two months. I don't know if there was a sign of how desperate they were or how I just made no impact whatsoever. No one noticed I was gone. I remember there was a place a few years ago.

I don't think it exists anymore. But there, you go along there and part of the thing at the restaurant would be the staff would kind of give years ago. I don't think it exists anymore, but there you go along there and part of the thing at the restaurant would be the staff would kind of give you grief. That was kind of it. You'd know you'd go along there and they'd, you know. Oh, they'd abuse you. Yeah, they'd say,

what do you want to order? And you go, oh, I'm thinking about it. And they'd go. You know, they'd just give you a bit of ribbing and that was part of it. And this lady was hilarious. She was giving you lots. And then she spilled a wine over me,

like accidentally. It's amazing how suddenly the act just stopped. She's like, I'm so sorry, so sorry. I don't think I can do it. This lady for 40 minutes who had just been harassing me. Oh, my God, oh, my God. And told me, like, mocking me about my hair, all that sort of stuff, really funny stuff.

But it was just like, suddenly it was like, I'm so sorry, sorry about that. Can I, you think I can do it? You never want to drop character. My dad was the same at the Italian restaurant, and he'd been learning Italian, and all night this girl was like, I'm so sorry. Sorry about that. You think I could do you? You never want to drop character. My dad was the same at the Italian restaurant. And he'd been learning Italian. And all night, this guy was like, ciao. Hey, spaghetti.

And he had the wonderful accent. So dad was like, oh, well, I'll order my meal in Italian to impress him. And dad started talking Italian, ordering whatever off the menu. And the guy's like, hey, ciao. Listen, mate, I'm just, they make me put on this voice. So he had to spend his whole shift acting like an Italian. I don't know if that would stack up in 2020. Probably not.

Probably not. I just did it on the radio. I don't know if it stacked up then. It offended someone. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahet. Now at the end of the week, we like to look back on,

not the best bits of the radio show, the worst bits, and in particular, Jono Pryor's worst bits. Ben Voice Productions Limited proudly presents Jono Pryor's worst moments of the week. This is the audio version of a good, long, hard look in the mirror. Yeah, that's right. Now, throughout the week, you've said many things. You went in on nudists.

You slandered towards the actresses in New Zealand and the world. Have a listen. Always my problem with those people is when I see them on the news, it's like,

where are all the tight ones? You know? You can only just like, are they shallow? You never see any young ones. They're always old and saggy.

What's nothing wrong with that? They're enjoying their life. So you said this, went on a barrage, it went on for longer but we had to edit it down and then you went

and you tried to make an apology. The following day. Or did you? So I need to apologise again to the nudist community. I went on a vile rampage

saying that people decide to become naturists when they're sort of 50. I mean, like I said the other day, I could get into it now. My body,

gravity's starting to take effect on this body. I could, yeah, now's a good time to spend 90% of the day naked. Yeah, but was he doubling down on this? Or was that a very half-hearted apology?

Like, I need to apologise. I was like, that wasn't really much of an apology. So that was your apology. It's a great apology. Good on you, sticking up for the new to spend. And also this week you admitted what you did in an open home one time.

Here's a couple of things I want to tell you when I went through open homes. Once I used a toilet. Is that a no-no? Oh my goodness, you didn't. That's a little bit of a no-no, especially here. Here's a little tip. If they're old, you can sell them a leaky apartment. No.

And there's great profits to be made. You're awful. That's terrible. I'm awful, but I'm rich from selling lots of leaky apartment. No. And there's great profits to be made. That's terrible. I'm awful, but I'm rich from selling lots of leaky apartments. Some of the worst

moments of the week? Well, Ben Boyce. A little something you don't know is that Ben Boyce presents Jono Pryor's worst moments of the week. He's had a little bit

of a format reading. Oh, here we go. Where the wonderful producer Juliet and producer Humphrey have also sourced some audio where, you know, you've had some less

than savoury moments, mate. I don't remember any of these. It's not a one-way street. These have been edited together. Stitch up in the edit. What are they? Human Resources wanted me to play this one. There was a sanitiser scandal that went on in the office.

So I gave it a good decent pump down there and the hand sanitiser sort of exploded out, like you said, and went all over my crotch area. And I was wearing like... Well, if anybody needs sanitising. I was wearing... It went all over. I was wearing light wearing light coloured jeans and I tried to rub it in and then you're rubbing your crotch in the office, it's not a good look. So I went off to the bathroom. And they did it in the bathroom? And I was like, well there's no way this is going to come off. So then I had to take my trousers off and walk back into the office with no trousers on. Then I got called to HR.

HR? Can you believe it? Yeah. How's that case going? Yeah, still working through it. Can't talk about it right now. And the text number. It's the number that you give out every day, isn't it?

4487. Text the hits New Zealand. He's always like, New Zealand's breakfast, Texas. 4487, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's part of your job. Oh, don't play that.

I know this. It's a basic necessity of your job. Oh, don't play that. I know this. It's a basic necessity of your job. Where have you ended up? We want to know today. Are we under the hits or 3347? Where have you accidentally ended up? 3347 if you want to text The Edge, that's fine. They always appreciate your communication.

I've been up to that. You can tell them. You can tell Dom Harvey. He might want to get your text if you accidentally ended up on The Edge. Or you can text us on 4487. That's if you want to get in touch with the show

that you're listening to. That'd be ideal. I didn't actually get it right to be honest. Was that not even the edge number? It was close but it wasn't quite there anyway. We spent enough time

lingering on that text number. And that was Jono and Ben's worst moments of the week. I don't know why you've chosen to listen to this show. We do enjoy it. We do really appreciate it.

Some people skip breakfast, the meal and also this show. It's Jono and Ben do really appreciate it. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now I was just reading about a UK family, the Radfords. They have 22 kids.

That's a lot of children. 22? They should have been pregnant for 22 years. Non-stop. Oh yeah. That's just like, even at number 13,

you'd be like, should we call time on this? No, no. Let's go one more run. He works at a bakery. I think he owns the bakery up the road. They've never claimed benefits, and they save money. They obviously don't go to the movies because it's too expensive to get a whole lot of tickets.

But they have movie night at home. They say if they want to watch the sports game, they watch it at home because they've pretty much got a crowd anyway, so the atmosphere is great. It's electric. 22 people in the auto, 24 in total. Yeah, yes it's a crazy thing so where do they all sleep well yeah you'd imagine they'd be they'd have to share room like charlie and the chocolate factory all of them in the same bed that's incredible we want to know what uh you know what how to you know someone's so tight and we're not talking about someone who has to go to The massage therapist three times a week Because their hamstrings are too tight

But financially speaking Ben you take your own popcorn to the movies You've publicly stated this before And you've been shamed publicly before I have been shamed by my wife and the movie goers The movie patrons there For taking my own popcorn So I try not to do it anymore

But that would be an example I know someone so tight They take their own that would be an example I know someone so tight they take their own popcorn to the movies. Yeah I know someone so tight, my friend used to work at a rental car company and this guy would come in probably once a year and he would rent a specific car, it had to be the same car every time and then he figured out over two or three

years that every year he was renting the car and it was the same model and make as his own personal car and he'd swap the tyres over put his car tyres on the rental car and drop it back and model and make as his own personal car and he'd swap the tyres over. Put his car tyres on the rental car and drop it back and have a brand new set of tyres. Genius. Because you pay what? $65 to $100 for the rental car for the day

but probably $700 for a whole new set of tyres. Well played. Well played. Go out and do that guys. That's how it works. I know someone so tight dot dot dot. You give us a call 0800 the hits. You tell us why you know someone so tight, dot, dot, dot. You give us a call, 0800, you tell us why you know someone so tight. Maybe you can drop yourself

in it if you want. That's fine. Yeah. 0800, that's 4487, that's the text. Get a hold of New Zealand's breakfast this morning, eh?

My mate, who got sent a parcel from a friend from overseas, who opened up the parcel, put a gift back in for him and then put return to sender, not at this address so he didn't have to pay

for the postage. That's inspiring. To send it back. That really is. That is genius. When we were at radio school, I was flirting with a guy who used the same piece

of tinfoil for six months. He would wash it. He'd wash it, but he had the same square piece of tinfoil that he put over like heated things for the microwave.

Or like take sandwiches and things like that. Put sandwiches in, yeah, but he'd just wash it after. Anyway, saving on tinfoil costs. My dad said he knew someone so tight once that he was flattered with a guy who would make 12 cups of tea with one teabag.

He just kept reusing it. Funny you mention, because Amber's with us on 0800. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Amber. You're in Tauranga. Good morning. And your mum and this man, they could have a match made and reusable teabag heaven. I know, I think they really get along.

So my mum is so tight that she saves all the old teabags from her cups of tea and then at the end of the week, she'll chuck them all in a big teapot and make a cup of tea on Sunday night with all the used teabags. Just a revenge cup around to the sequel.

That's very smart. I suppose it does work. Tighter than my pants after a session on the Valentine's seafood buffet, mate. Yeah. It's impressive, Amber. Yeah, yeah. Have you had a cup of tea from that teapot?

No. See, I stick to fresh tea bags. I can't quite get on board with the little... Is that teapot short and stout? Yeah. Oh, good, good. Yeah, that's the best Is that teapot short and stout? Yeah. Oh, good, good. Yeah, that's the best way a teapot should be designed. Rachel, welcome.

You're from Morrinsville. You're on the air. Hello. Tightest thing you do, what is it? Oh, so I literally never buy anything full price. It has to be out of the bargains in, 50% or more off, and that's for fruit and veggie as well.

Like, if they're a little bit off, it's fine. Like, I just can't pay for anything full price. Tighter than an ant's bottom. You can say that, yep. No, it's smart. There's those supermarkets that are set up for that sort of thing, aren't there? That's right, yeah. Yeah, I don't usually go to supermarkets.

I'd go to, like, a fruit and veggie store, or sometimes, like, the Asian supermarket. They have better specials. Reduce the clear and bin in and things like that, sort of stuff. Exactly. Yeah, you're right. Hey, good on you, Rachel.

Appreciate that. Someone's texted in 4487. There was a jukebox at our local bowling alley, and my friend was so tight that he would put money in and pick the longest song to get his bang for buck. So they had Lynyrd Skynyrd Freebird playing for 13 minutes. He's getting value for money. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. We're joined every second week by the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. I think she's on hold right now. Over to you, Jono. Hello, National Party headquarters. Would you like to make a donation to our campaign? At least it was a relevant prank.

Yes, we're getting there. We're getting there. A little bit more effort this time than usual. A little bit more effort. I've worked on that. I thought of it last night, Jacinda. Oh, buddy. How are you, Prime Minister?

Are you doing all right? Yeah, not bad, thanks, guys. Not bad. I just noticed yesterday you were voted in another list, the world's top 50 thinkers. You're number two in the top 50 thinkers. Top 50 thinkers. Which is pretty good, pretty awesome, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Who out thunk you? Who out thunk you? Who was number one on that list? So, yeah, I saw this yesterday. It was, I think, Prospect magazine or something like that. Yeah, it was, British magazine, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

The health minister in Kerala, I think. Oh, right. You are a good thinker. I can tell you're a good thinker. Oh, bless the New Zealand. Is it sometimes hard to think on the spot? This is what I get. Because I watch you guys in the press conferences.

The other day when those reporters, oh, Jason, you were having a go at Jason. Jason was having a go at you and he was... I thought I was, yeah, I was trying, I always try and be polite. I could tell you were like, Jason, let's, you know, you're a dog with a bone here, mate.

Keep going. But Jason kept going on about... You've got to apologise, you've got to apologise, that's the thing. The message that was sent out, are there times where you're like, I've got nothing to say here? Oh, look, there's times when you answer the question

the same question three different ways just to try and keep it interesting, but you're still going I've got nothing to say here. Oh, look, there's times when you answer the question, the same question, three different ways, just to try and keep it interesting, but you're still going to give the same answer. That's a good take. I would just be fumbling around. I'd be like, I've got notes on this somewhere. Hold on. Just give me a couple of minutes.

Hang on, hang on. It is true to say, you know, you do have to make sure that you're across everything that's going on that day, because anything could come your way. It looks like you're about to go backstage and give someone a good old roasting about that message, though. I wouldn't have wanted to be that person, Jacinda.

Yeah, it wasn't a great day in the office, no. Jacinda Ardern with us, Prime Minister. You're also juggling an election campaign at the moment. Are there some days where you're like, hey, can we just have a day off? Just one. That's what I've been thinking. Just one.

I just want to go to Briscoes or do something. You've done a great job not getting sick, what I've noticed, you know? Oh, yeah, well, good hand hygiene, New Zealand. Okay, yeah. 20 seconds washing. Well, you know, actually, New Zealand, this is a point New Zealand,

really, you know, of course, we're in the middle of a global pandemic, but you look at our, we've got this thing called Flu Tracker, basically shows us over the years how, you know, how many people in New Zealand are affected by flu. It's incredible. The whole country has been much, much healthier this season than usual because, yeah, more hand washing, more social distancing, has been much, much healthier this season than usual. Because, yeah, more hand-washing, more social distancing, less travel.

Face masks. Yeah, Prime Minister. Now, we were actually probably meant to be, these were meant to be the last couple of weeks leading up to the original election day. And so what we're doing, what we're doing to compensate for that, we're like, the people need something to vote on. We're going to vote next week on the ultimate Kiwi icon. So we're going to put things like, you know,

Dave Dobbin up against onion dip. Yourself up against a meat pie. Tomato sauce, you know, Lord of the Rings, those types of things. Is there one thing for you? Don't pit me against a potato top. Okay. What do you think you can beat? A mince and cheese?

I would be torn on that. I think I'd probably go the potato top. Over yourself? Yeah, I probably would. A potato top pie, okay. Much more iconic. Oh, you're too modest. And finally, because we've got to get through our quirky radio bits,

we've got... You know how this radio bits, we've got to... You know how this works, mate. You know how it works. We've got a job to do, like the reporters from The Herald. I understand. Now, we're top 100 countdown of pop songs we're doing next week on The Hits. Do you have a top pop song or a concert you went to, a pop concert? You're quite trendy.

I know you play DJ, you're rhythm and vines. You want me to admit the guilty? I don't mind. Is there anything at all? I will admit that in amongst, you know, my eclectic music taste was for a time a love of the Be Naked Ladies. Oh, the Be Naked Ladies? Yeah, you remember the Be Naked Ladies? It's been one week since you learned from me.

They're terrible band name But for those who aren't familiar They were very very funny On stage And so yeah I saw them perform in the States And they were hilarious I want a picture maybe for a Macarena Or a Gangnam Style No

Jacinda Ardern Love catching up with you Have a good couple of weeks And we will meet again Take care guys Speaking of Father's Day It is on Sunday And we've been playing a game

With your dads Because every dad generally not that great at remembering dates so we put them under the pressure cooker to win $300 worth of GrabOne vouchers for Father's Day. Heaps of great options on grabone.co.nz for Father's Day which you can check out right now. And Melissa's with us

on the phone from New Plymouth. Hello Melissa, how are you? What's happening? What is happening with you more importantly? Don't you ask me what's happening. Flat out down here, flat out working and running around like a mad thing. What do you do, mate? What do I do? Have you been down to Taranaki much?

I've been to New Plymouth probably three times in my life. So have you tried good old Anderson's pies? Mate, no. No? What? I'm disappointed in your pie. Is this what you make, is it? Oh, it's a family

business. It's been going for 50 years. Wow. My grandfather started it, so a bit of history around this place. And do you eat pies on the regular? No, I do eat pies, yes, but not regularly. We're sort of

brought up with them as kids, so it's not exciting to have a pie every day or anything. No, I was going to say the novelty must have worn off. A pie novelty wore off a few years ago. Exactly. So who are we going to call today? Your father, obviously? We're going to call my father, and you know what? You've rung at the right

time, because I'm actually sitting in his office, and he's over in the bakery. He is going to get a shock. I'll hang his phones with him. His hand's deep in pies right now. Yeah, he'll probably have mints all over his hands or something. So his name's Grant. Grant.

And we're going to ask him three important dates in his life that he should know. So let's start with your birthday, Melissa. When's your birthday? Okay, so he should know mine. Well, yeah, on the 12th of January. What other dates do you think we should try them? So probably my mother, his wife, Tracy. Tracy, yep.

13th of June. 13th of June, okay. And one more? And I think this is going to be a twister for him. So my sister are two years apart, but our birthdays are only three days apart. So she's the 9th of January. 9th of Jan, and what's her name? So her name is Nicole. Okay. And he's got

hands full of mints as well. These are not ideal conditions for important dates. Definitely not. Okay, he could win $300 worth of GrabOne vouchers for Father's Day. This could be your Father's Day present all sorted. Let's give him a call, eh? Okay, we'll head through to Grant now on the other side of the bakery making Anderson's pies.

Sounds good. Hello, Grant speaking. Hello, is that Grant? Yeah. You got your fingers in pies? No, I'm actually just washing them. Oh, you're washing your pie fingers. Fingers in pies, many pies. It's John Owen being calling from the

Hits Radio station. G'day, guys. I don't know if you're familiar with your daughter Melissa Oh yes I am She's on the other line Right Now we've got three questions for you These are important dates that you should know In your life

Each one you get right you get a $100 grab one voucher For Father's Day alright Okay Grant The first date we want to know from you, Melissa's birthday. Melissa's birthday. She was the 12th of January. Oh! One from one. Well done.

There's $100 worth of Grab One vouchers for Father's Day. Not bad. Okay, Grant, not bad. Not bad. Your wife, Tracy, what is her birthday? The 13th of June. Oh, Grant. Oh, you're right. What wife, Tracy, what is her birthday? The 13th of June. Oh, Grant. What a father, what a husband.

What a pie maker. All right, it's as easy as pie so far for you, Grant. But the final question, Nicole, your other daughter, what is her birthday? The 9th of January. Oh, Grant. You know it's better if you flail around. Just for us, can you do us a favour

and just pretend you don't know Nicole's one? Okay. Just flail around for a bit. It's good for the drama. What is Nicole's birthday, Grant? Nicole's birthday. Oh, I'm not sure on that one. Usually it has to be one difficult one.

Yeah, this is it. This is it. If you're a better father, you would know this. I know it's January. Yeah, close. Oh, I might get in a bit of trouble for this. Yeah, well, you don't know it so far, Grant. I'm not sure, actually.

It could be the 8th or it could be the 9th. Oh, no. It's the 9th. I think it might be the 9th. I think. That's some champagne acting.. Oh, no. It's the night. I think it might be the night. I think. That's some champagne acting. Well done, Grant. Congratulations.

$300 worth of Grandpa vouchers coming your way. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you very much. $300 worth. And Melissa, what do you want to say to your dad? Oh, he's done pretty good. I'll have to give him a high five for that. I might even shout him a pie for lunch.

Oh, that's lovely. And it sounds like you're in the same room, so you didn't even have to say that through the phone. Hey, thanks for that, guys. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. A very famous moment from an awards ceremony was the moment at the MTV Music Awards a few years ago

where Kanye West got up on stage and interrupted Taylor Swift. You'll know the moment. Yo, Taylor. I'm really happy for you. I'm going to let you finish. But Beyonce had one of the best videos Yo, Taylor. I'm really happy for you. I'm going to let you finish. But Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time. He wasn't wrong. That was a fantastic video that Beyonce had.

It was a good video. It was a single lady's video. Yeah, it was a very good video. Yeah, great video. Let's not get into who was best. They were all great. They were all great. She had the best video of all time, mate.

And he just said it. I agree. Now, Kanye West has just come out in an interview and said that God made him do it. Made him interrupt Taylor Swift. Well, God's obviously a huge Beyonce fan. God knew there was an injustice that Taylor Swift won that category. God loved the single ladies.

He got a calling from God and he said, if God didn't want me to run on stage and say Beyonce had the best video, he wouldn't have sat me in the front row. Yeah, that's right. It's illogical to think that the event seating planner have sat me in the front row. Yeah, that's right. It's illogical to think that the event seating planner would sit him in the front row. It was God. Maybe God influenced that, you know.

Actually, God probably wouldn't like the single ladies. He liked Mary, didn't he? Mary was married. Remember that? Oh, yeah. No, so maybe I'm wrong there. Maybe it wasn't his favourite Beyonce song of all time. It was quite an awards blowout from Kanye West and I was thinking, we've had a couple over the years, you and me, Jono, at awards.

We've blown out a few times. It was not like storming the stage like that. But I was thinking yesterday, remember when we were hosting the Hellenstein Brothers, their big awards ceremony for the year. They had all their sales people in the one room. Hundreds of people in the room. It was a few years ago.

One of the people got a Hellenstein Brothers tattoo. Dedication, that's right. I was like, jeez, you must love Hellenstein Brothers. He was a few years ago. One of the people got a Hellenstein Brothers tattoo. Dedication, that's right. I was like, jeez, you must love Hellenstein Brothers. They've gone. He now works for Glassons. Instantly regretting that decision. But yeah, so we were hosting these awards,

about to give away the award at the end of the night for the top salesperson in the country. And that was what everyone was like, excited to find out who was going to win. And we saw the, it was like a shield almost. That was the trophy. You remember that big? It was like a shield almost. That was the trophy.

You remember that big? It was like out of glass. Oh, yeah, it looked very expensive. You wouldn't just rock down to Mr. Minute at the Westfield Mall and pick one up. This was a bespoke award. And at the start of the awards, I'd just seen that to the side,

and I was like, hey, look at this, guys. Showed everyone. I was like, look at what the winner's going to win tonight. This, look how amazing it is showing everyone. This is the ultimate one. The best salesperson for the 12 months you guys have been working your asses off. But what Ben didn't realise.

Yeah, it had the name of the person engraved. Oh man, this was at the start of the night. So he was like displaying it. It was at the start of the night and everyone's like, well, we might as well go home now. But then you did a good job of trying to keep the suspense up

throughout the evening. You're like, who could it be and we're like we all know you idiot you told us at the beginning when you first started talking I also remember when we went to the TV awards

and well the very few times that we've been nominated for anything and you remember that we'd been on stage doing something and we're up for an award

for you know luckily to be up there for best presenter we were quite excited by this and we walked off the stage and the people the awards people held us back and were like stop stop you need to watch We're up for an award for, you know, luckily to be up there for Best Presenter. We're quite excited by this. And we walked off the stage and the people, the awards people held us back. They were like, stop, stop.

You need to watch this next award. This is your award. And we're like, uh-oh. Who's won the double? Who's got a double header? Here we go. It's the boys, Jay and me. Rolling them back out on stage.

I'll be like, I've thanked everyone already. Who do I thank now? I'm making a new speech up in my head. I was like, they've stopped us to watch this. And then they be like, oh, thank everyone already. Who do I thank now? I'm making a new speech up in my head. I was like, they've stopped us to watch this. And then they're like, and the winner of Best Presenter is Anika Moore. I'm like, yeah, well-deserved. And she didn't deserve it. They're like, we just wanted you to watch her win.

Yeah, just to humble you. And it was well-humbled. It was very well-humbled. If only Kanye came up and stopped you when you were holding up that award at the Helen Stein Brothers. I'm going to let you finish, Ben, but you're currently holding up the award that's got

the winner's name on it, my friend. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. It's time to look at... Big news. Small Town. Town, town, town. Now, this year, they've had for many years an Elvis impersonator competition happening

in the hut, right? You think it's funny with the Elvis impersonators. A huge generation of them, wasn't there? But they're probably all going to sort of eventually disappear. You can't imagine like a whole swag of Chris Martin impersonators or Harry Styles impersonators, can you? I don't know if there's any artist that's around now that will force people to impersonate them.

But they need some help this year for the Elvis impersonator competition. It's over three days. It happens at Upper Huttuts Cosmopolitan Club. It's normally sold out, and normally they have hundreds of entries, not only from New Zealand, but from Australia. But you can't get Elvis impersonators into the country at the moment. And organiser Cathy with us on the phone. Welcome to the big news.

Cathy, how are you? Hello. Hello, Cathy, for now. Hi. It's Jonathan and Benjamin from the Hits radio station. How are you? Oh, Cathy, we're doing well, mate. Better than you.

Oh, I know. I've got all my... I've done a thing for the project this afternoon, so I've got to look the part. Oh, right. You're doing all... You're zhuzhing up, are you? Oh, yeah.

I've got an Elvis dress, and I've got an Elvis tattoo, of course, and all that sort of stuff. You're a big fan. So how long have you been a fan of Elvis for? Since I was 13, and I'm now 73. Wow. How much Elvis merch do you have,

and is it starting to take over your life, Kath? Oh, look, I had heaps. I'm retired now, obviously, but years ago I had, I mean, I've done all sorts of things here. I had heaps and heaps of stuff, but I've sold a lot, but it's still, I mean, if you walk in, you go, wow, kind of thing. It's still a lot of, I've still got a lot of stuff.

Oh, so I'd walk into your house and go, this lady's got a problem. Yeah, yeah. No wonder she can't find a boyfriend. Who needs a boyfriend when you've got Elvis in your life? Elvis, yeah. Well, that's right. Yeah, I know. I know.

I know. I've been a fan all my life and done the Grey Sands thing twice and been on cruises and met all the, some of the world, well and met some of the world's best Elvis's. Oh, that's lovely. What's your favourite Elvis song, Kath? The Wonder of You. Never heard that one. What you haven't heard of The Wonder of You?

That's a popular song. He's got a lot of songs. We were just listening to some before he called you. He's got some bangers, isn't he? Oh, God, who's ringing me? Damien, TV3. Oh, you can answer that bangers, isn't he? Oh, God, who's ringing me? Damien, TV3. Oh, who's ringing me? You can answer that.

Actually, we know Damien. Answer the phone. Yeah. We'll wait. Tell Damien we say hello. Yeah. All right, okay. Bye.

Hi, Damien. Oh, no, he's put us on hold. Now we're on cool waiting. Yeah. Do you think Cathy's coming back? No. I'd be surprised if Cathy knows how to come back. Okay.

So, Cathy, anyway, we were going to get to the fact that she's looking for Elvis impersonators. Yes, because she runs an annual Elvis tournament of sorts at the Cosi Club, doesn't she? It's been going for 15 years. You know me as a packed-out audience, but this year, obviously, due to COVID, they can't get people over from Australia,

which is sad because people from all over Australia and New Zealand compete for the best Elvis impersonator. So if you are an Elvis impersonator, you thought, hey, I can give that a go, then get in touch with Cathy. Yeah. She might put you on hold, but she would love to hear you. You know what I'm going to do? Should we hang up and we'll call Cathy back

and then she'll have to come back to us? Okay, let's do that. Being the project can wait, can't they? They're not on till tonight. We're on now. Okay, we need Cathy now. Let it start

until seven. Hello? Cathy, tell the project to bloody wait, mate. Ah, just first talk. Yeah, well, get

rid of them. I love Damien. He's a nice guy, but they can wait. We're on now, Cathy. We're up the

priority list, babes. Who's calling you now, Cathy? Oh, just Cathy, you are busy. Oh, my Damien's ringing me again. No, no, no.

No, no, you stay with us, Cathy. We need to plug your event. Pardon? We need to plug your event. I know, so I'm going live in a minute. I'm on the radio. No, this is it. We're chatting.

We're now. We're in it, baby. I'm on the radio live, guys. Yeah, no, we've got Damien. Damien's a persistent guy, isn't he? No, bloody Damien. He wants to. You're in hot demand, but we just've got Damien. Damien's a persistent guy. I know, bloody Damien. He wants to. You're in hot demand, but we just need to tell everyone.

I've seen you two guys. Are you the guys that go on TV sometimes, Donna and Ben? Oh, yeah, that got cancelled a couple of years ago, Cathy. That was bleak. It's a shame you didn't come to Down Under and see it. Well, it sounds like, yeah, so you're looking for Elvis impersonators because obviously Australia, the borders are really close, aren't they? So Australian impersonators can't come over.

I had 12 coming from Australia and I had about 6 entertainers. So you're wanting some Elvis some domestic, you want to stimulate the domestic Elvis economy and you're wanting local New Zealand Elvis impersonators to turn up to your Cozzy Club event, don't you Cathy? No, not just turn up, they need to ring

me first and I'll maybe interview them and see how they sing. I don't want somebody just turn up. They need to ring me first. Okay. Maybe interview them and see how they sing. I don't want somebody just rolling up like, you know. Oh, okay, you know. You don't want some sort of two-bit Elvis impersonator rocking up to the Cosby Club, do you? We've got to keep the criteria up there, John or Benno. Are we answering to both, John or Benno?

Yeah, we've got to keep the criteria up there. You set a bar, you set a bar, Cathy. Can we audition for you, Cathy? Thank you very much, thank you very much. I'm caught in a trap, I can't walk out Cos I never loved you too much, baby How was that? That sounds pretty cool.

I'm all shook up Don't be cruel, don't be cruel Mate, I'm trying to audition here, You're singing over my audition here, Kath. Oh. Her. Her. Her. Kath.

You've got the curly lip going on? Yes, he's got a lot of curly lip. Can we come to your Elvis off? Yeah, I'd love you to come, actually. Oh, look, I hope you sell your tickets, and I hope your event goes ahead, Kathie. Oh, thank you. You sell a wonderful New Zealander.

You go and look after yourself, eh? We'll have to do a programme with you sometime, maybe on TV or something. Oh, listen, yeah, you get us a show on TV, we'll host it, mate. Oh, OK, so, OK, what time are you guys ringing me today? Uh, we just did.

Oh, you just did? That was it. Oh, OK, oh, that was a lot of fun then. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. The WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Straight out of the sloppy gossip waste washing machine

comes some dripping wet celebrity juice. What have we got, Jew and Spy? So Carol Baskin's latest project is Dancing with the Stars. The one we've been waiting for. Get ready to roar. I got the eye of the stars. The one we've been waiting for. Get ready to roar. I got the eye of the tiger. With her signature flower crown, she's

dancing away from Big Cat Rescue all the way to the ballroom, even bringing her cat. It's the tiger queen herself, Carol Baskin. Get ready, you poor cats and kittens. Great song choice as well there. Yeah, great. Yeah, appreciate that.

Absolutely. I thought her next project was going to be feeding her second husband to another tiger. That's the thing. That's the thing. The reason she's going on

Dancing with the Stars is because she wants people to see the real her rather than the... The tiger feeding her. Yeah. I get that. She wants a rebrand.

Well, yeah, she didn't have any say in how the documentary was cut together, right? No, that's true. So I don't think she was that happy with it. Neither did her husband when he was being fed to a tiger. I don't know that.

I don't know that. So that'll be interesting. Would you guys ever do Dancing with the Stars? No. Sharon, who we used to work with on The Edge, she was one of the hosts. She did a great job hosting it and she would always try and get us on it.

Can't dance and or am not a star. So really failing on both counts for that show. Damn it, I would pay good money to see you guys on Dancing with the Stars, I think. It's such a commitment too, isn't it? Yeah. It's a great show and people that do it do a great job. They do a fantastic job, but it's really probably six months of your life,

isn't it? Yeah, hardcore training, wouldn't it be? Yeah. Plus, I don't look good in tight sequined pants. I can't pull out a tight pant. True. And another star has contracted coronavirus. So I said earlier that Dwayne the Rock Johnson had, but also

Robert Pattinson has tested positive just days after he started filming for his new role as Batman and now all filming has had to be shut down while he recovers and then they test everyone else. Maui and Batman have both had coronavirus. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, true.

So I feel like all the stars are all of a sudden kind of getting it, aren't they? Jeez, the movie companies would have big insurance on that, wouldn't they? True. If he contracted that, he wouldn't be able to work. I'm surprised they haven't been filming again. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, well, I mean, Tom Cruise spent a million dollars hiring a cruise ship, so none of his, all of his cast and crew could stay in their own giant bubble and not contract it. Remember we settled yesterday, it was a Tom Cruise ship. Yeah, you need to say the full name, the Tom Cruise ship, please. Tom, the Tom Cruise ship. Thank you. Jeez, when are you going to have a vaccine?

I know. Do you imagine life getting back to normal? I don't know why I'm asking you, Ben. You're not an epidemiologist, but I'm throwing this to you. I feel like Ashley Bloomfield up on the 1pm press conference. Would you imagine in a year or so? I don't even think a year. I don't know.

Trump reckons out before the end of the year. Trump, Trump. So, I mean, you know. He's like, we'll have a vaccine out before the end of the year. In March, he was like, it's going to be wrapped up by this weekend. He was referring to a week in March. Although he promised a wall as well. So, I don't know how that's gone on.

Yeah, true. For more spy, you can head to the hit. March. Although he promised a wall as well, so I don't know how that's gone on. Yeah, true. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz and Viva Volume 1 has gone glossy. It's on sale. For more information, you can text Viva to 4487. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We like to do a bit of a, it's unnecessary. It's unnecessary stress we put on the show, but I find the show performs at its absolute worst when it's highly stressed. Yeah. So it's called A Song to Find.

What we wanted to do is the Norths vs South games on... That's another big bit of sporting news, as well as the boats arriving by plane. We wanted to get one of the players on. But we don't have one, and we've left it too late. Yeah. So what did you want to do, Ben Boyce? We're going to throw it out there right now.

Oh, 100 of the hits. If you know a player or you are a player, can you give us a call? Yeah. Now, this is not someone who has multiple partners as well. We're talking about a rugby player. Oh, yeah, like a rugby player playing in the North West. Don't anyone phoning up, Yeah, I'm sleeping with 32 different people all at the same time.

They don't know it about each other. Yeah, not those sort of players. We don't want those. Oh, 800 of the hits. If you know someone, reach out to them, see if they can call and we'll give ourselves a song

to find one of the players in the North versus South game. Back on Monday, we'll do a song to find a vaccine as well. We'll do that after 6.60. It is the hits. And we gave ourselves unnecessary pressure. Oh my gosh.

Jeez, when these songs, we do a song to find on any particular topic, we throw something out there to see if you know, throw the fishing line out there to see if we get any hooks, any bites. I'm not a fisher person, you can tell because I messed up that analogy.

And we gave ourselves today with the North versus South rugby game happening this weekend in Wellington, we gave ourselves a song to find a rugby player that was playing in that game. Now someone who knows someone who's been sleeping with someone has got a someone and producer Humphrey is waving his arms

frantically. He's not actually, he looks pretty relaxed. I'm just trying to build up the stress. Finlay Christie has phoned through. Now, he plays for the South team, we understand, but also halfback for the Blues. Finlay. G'day. Yeah, you sound confused.

Yeah. Sufficiently so. Obviously wasn't listening in real time, but we understand you were told to call the number, Finlay. Yeah, given the number this morning, what's the go? Too agreeable. Too agreeable. Thank you for calling.

We just wanted to talk to someone who's playing in the North versus South game this weekend. All right, no worries. We were too lazy to book the interview through the correct channels. So we've ended up with you. How are you, mate? Yeah, bloody good, thanks. What are you looking at right now?

I'd like to know what people are looking at. I'm actually looking out the window down to the road at Wellington. In the hotel there? Yeah, in the hotel. Oh, I love a hotel breakfast. Don't you love a hotel breakfast? Yeah, it's always good. Yeah, yeah, hotel. Oh, I love a hotel breakfast. Don't you love a hotel breakfast? Yeah, it's always good.

Yeah, yeah, I'll be straight there after this. What's it like? Because obviously you're a pretty young player getting into the North versus

South game, which is awesome, but you're on a team with Sam Whitelock, Geordie Barrett, Richie Mwanga, you know, what's it like for you hanging out

with those guys? Yeah, it's awesome. I actually roomed in with Sam Whitelock too, so that was a bit of a... Is he in there now? Is he? Nah, nah, it's awesome. I actually roomed with Sam Whitelock too, so that was a bit of a... Is he in there now, is he? Nah, nah, he's still asleep. I've woken up and gone downstairs.

Oh, I was going to say, let's rifle through his bag while he's not looking. See what he's got in there. And so, does he snore? Is he a snorer? He surprisingly isn't, actually. No, you'd think a big guy like that would snore. I was a bit worried at the start, but no, it seems to be all right. What, how's the banter like? Free-flowing?

Yeah, it's actually not too bad. Not bad? Yeah. Oh, there you go, lovely. And who gets the use of the amenities first, the bathroom? Do you let him go first? Yeah, I let him go first, yeah. How long's his shower time?

What's that? How long's his shower time? He's not out there like timing his shower. He's not working for a water care. He's still asleep to be honest. Yeah, right.

Is he running a Lynx Africa for the deodorant? What's he got there? No, not quite. Finlay, you've got a really interesting story. You were born in Scotland

I'm just seeing here and then you grew up in Auckland. You played for Southland. Obviously played for the Blues this year but then you played for the South Island

as well. You've got like a foot in both camps, North versus South. Yeah, wee bit of a traveller, eh? If it wasn't for that where your first ITM game was, I'm sure I'd probably be more eligible for the North, but that is what it is.

So it's pretty good. So that is it. We should probably just clarify, right? So the players have been designated into the specific teams based on where they played their first professional game of rugby? Yeah, so pretty much the first minor 10 cup game. And you went to St. Kennegan's College, Presbyterian School for Boys and Girls. Yeah, yep.

My name's still bandied around the halls. John O'Prior, are you still talking about the great John O'Prior who attended, the alumni? Nah, I didn't hear about that. Oh, OK. That was a humbling reaction. That's true. Did they ever say

we should get him back for an inspirational speech or something? No? Nothing? No, nothing about it? Nothing? No?

Why are you persisting with this? This is awkward now, Jono. I've never been asked for an inspirational speech. Look what you do and look what Finlay does. Is it weird this weekend to be playing in front of no crowd?

Because it's such a shame, obviously, that it was going to be pretty much a sold-out crowd in Auckland. I'm sure it would be sold out in Wellington. It must be weird playing rugby games, no crowd. Yeah, I think it will be. A few of the boys, the Highlanders and the Hurricanes boys, have experienced that like they did in the last round, so they'll know what it's like.

Imagine when it goes back to crowds, you'll all have stage fright. You won't be used to it. I don't want to go out. Hey, it is North versus South, Finlay, and what we thought we'd do is make you, we saw this actually on the All Blacks Instagram account, is make you choose

some of the North versus South things, what you prefer, okay? Ben Boyce, hit him hard. Okay, well we had Boy, the movie from the North, and the World, okay? Ben Boyce, hit him hard. Okay, well, we had Boy, the movie from the North, and the world's fastest Indian, the movie from the South. What are you going for? I'm going for Boy.

Oh, I see. Well, I guess you've got a foot in both camps, we said before, so you can go either way. Finally, we've got Finlay, with Finlay Christia, who's playing in this weekend's North versus South game.

Final North versus South question. The Oakuni carrot versus the Cromwell fruit sculpture. Go for the fruit sculpture. I think I'm on. And actually, next week, we're going to spawn off this, and we're going to try and decide on the ultimate bit of Kiwi memorabilia. If you could pick one thing, what would it be?

Like Jandals, Onion Dip, Ashley Boomfield, Lord, Dave Dobber, all those sorts of things. Might have to be the gumboot, eh? Oh, the gumboot. We should chuck that in? Oh, the Gumboot, that's it. We should chuck that in the mix, the Gumboot. That's a good suggestion. We could even have like a Gumboot versus Taika Waititi or something. That's a tough one.

Tune in Monday, Finlay. I know you will be. Yeah. Yeah, no, first thing. I tell you what, we'll call you back just to make sure you are listening Monday. Just to double check, McGuire. Yeah, good stuff. Thanks so much for phoning through, bud.

And good luck this weekend. Hope it goes well for you. Nah, thank you. Cheers, have a good one. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed.

Yeah, Ben boy, scroll through your feeds to bring you this update and the amount of pictures of people's dinners and cats this guy's had to plough through to bring you this bulletin. Do you know, I like to prepare a little bit for this part of the show, but Ben's like, oh, there's not much. We'll just make it up as we go along. Literally, those will be your last words as Beebles wrapping up there.

Yeah, we'll not make up the stories, though. The stories, these are actual stories, so just make up the chat. So I'm flying blind here. We'll see where this goes. Now, Jacinda Ardern, we've had Jacinda-mania over the last three years, right? So you would think that would be the most popular name

for a baby name in New Zealand over the last three years out of the politicians' names. But it's not. Jacinda has been beaten by Judith and Ashley. More popular with baby names over the last three years. Particularly Ashley, now, which makes sense, obviously. 42 Ashleys in New Zealand in the past year.

Now, Judith seems like an old lady's name. It seems like your friend's mum would be named Judith. 35 Judiths in the last year. Interesting baby name. Yes, there you go. We've got Ashley Bloomfield masked too, by the way. We put his face on a mask. I don't know if we're allowed to legally.

I don't know if we can do us in a court of law or anything. But if you want one, you can just text 4487. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. Have we seen Ashley one? No, we need to try and get Ashley one, haven't we? Do you know producer Humphrey was trying to stalk out his home address? No, we're like, you've got to stop, mate. I mean, you're a good producer, mate, but come on.

There's a blurry line between stalking and producing. Now, I just, yeah, so what I found interesting over the last three years, since Jacinda Ardern has been Prime Minister, just 15 births in New Zealand given the name Jacinda. You would have thought there would be more than that. Well, listen, Judith's polling well. If that's anything to go by, National have got this in the bag. And so does Ashley somehow.

Yeah, true, he probably would win if he ran. And a Seattle boss took a million dollar pay cut. One million dollar pay cut. He lost 90% of his salary, so his employees could all have 70,000 minimum salary that worked there. And he reckons there was all these talks when it happened saying that his

company would fold. Now they reckon they've tripled their business. Wow. Because he said no one leaves. Everyone wants to stay there. They've all bought houses. They've all had kids. And he reckons everyone's far more engaged at work.

So, yeah, making a minimum wage of $70,000 for the employees. Did you hear that, Bogsy? Bogsy, our boss here. That wasn't meant to be a little lady. Are you having a dig at Bogsy? No, that wasn't meant to be. Bogsy, take a 90% pay cut, mate. No. Help the people down on the ground floor. Bogsy's a great boss, mate. He be a little lady. Ben said, mate, what, are you having a dig at Bogsy? No, that wasn't meant to be. Bogsy, take a 90% pay cut, mate. No.

Help the people down on the ground floor. Bogsy's a great boss, mate. He's a great boss. He's like, you know what Ben said during that song, the Beaver song? He's like, watch this, mate. I'm going to throw Bogsy, our boss, under the bus here. No, I didn't. No, that's a generous move, isn't it?

Yeah, that was really nice. You know who I feel sorry for the CEOs is Foran. Greg Foran, Greg Foran at Air New Zealand. Day one, he started at Air New Zealand. Oh, yeah. And COVID happened. So he's just dealt with a storm from day one.

And quite a lot of the executives have moved on. It's going to be tough. Oh, poor guy. Every day he's like, how many millions have we lost today? Oh, God. Plowing through. He was the boss of Walmart in America, Greg Foran. Yeah, very successful, yeah. He doesn't need to do this job.

This was probably his cushy retirement gig. Slow fade out into a house in Wanaka or something. Yeah, yeah. And look at this. You do feel sorry for him. It sucks. He's doing a great job. He's doing the best job he can to plow through this.

And that was scrolling through your feed. Well done, Ben. We got there. We got there, guys. We made some stuff up. All of that was made up. No. The 90 was scrolling through your feed. Well done, Ben. We got there. We got there, guys. We made some stuff up. All of that was made up. No. The 90% pay cut and everything.

The only thing made up was the bogsy slander for our big boss, all right? That was made up. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're, of course, into spring and one of the warmest winters ever for New Zealand we've just gone through. So how's that? It's freezing right now. Isn't it? I know. Thank you for your warmest winters ever for New Zealand we've just gone through. So how's that?

It's freezing right now, isn't it? I know. Thank you for your warmest winter fact. This morning, freezing. Yeah, it's a bit cold. Oh, gee whiz. Tell you what, I was out there in the outside going... Cold.

Now, tradies. Do you use tradies, Ben? Yeah. Yeah. You're not much of a handy guy. Neither am I. No. I've unashamedly called a higher hubby to put pitches up on the wall and things like that.

Oh, pitches, really? Yeah, things like that. I'm unashamedly. I've got no business putting things up. It's just not my thing. If I have a crack at it, it's the wrong, it's the middle, it's not. It's not for me. It's not for me.

Someone else can do it. I'll make a cup of tea or I'll go, hey, you want light refreshments or something? That's where I'm good. And banter. You've got a bit of conversation. I like banter. Not too much. Not too much.

You don't want to distract them from their job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you, you'll dust over some topics of the day with them. Yeah, we'll find out what they're into. Oh, the Warriors this weekend playing the Eagles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, although hanging out pitches is a lot harder than you think, isn't it? Yeah, I've tried it a couple of times. Yeah, and then leave it. Yeah, yeah. So, although hanging out pictures is a lot harder than you think, isn't it? Yeah, I've tried it a couple of times.

Yeah, just getting it dead centre's got to factor in the frame and where the, yeah, anyway, we won't get into that. Had a guy come over yesterday and he had to fix our washing machine, okay? And then you go, okay, surely you've got all the parts in the van? Wouldn't you imagine? Well, because, yeah, the office is kind of their van, right? Yeah. He's like, oh, now I need to go get the parts.

And I'm thinking, what's in the van? What are you trapping around in that big van for? So he had a van full of stuff. Full of stuff? Right. Surely the stuff should be the spare parts that you need to fix things. Yeah, you'd think so, right. Every tradie that's ever come to my house is like,

oh, no, I'm going to have to go get it. Chuck another hour and a half Onto the job thanks It's smart play If that's what happens My friend was a plumber He was the same He came over and fixed the thing He's like oh I don't have it

I've got to go to bloody Chester's Plumbing I was like where's Chester's Plumbing Oh it's on the other side Of the world I was like why do you guys Do this

He's like because we can Charge you more Oh really That's what he reckons You'd think the tradie game, you'd just travel around with all the spare parts you need, right? Well, if I could get paid for driving across and listening to the radio,

I'd do it. Do you use tradies, Judy? No, I don't think I ever have. Judy? Who's she? Judy. Producer Judy. No, I don't think I ever have. I wouldn't even know where to start. When I had to replace the key to our flat,

I was like, who do I even call for this? Mum's like, you call a locksmith. And I was like, oh, okay. Oh my God, you need help. How are you even living at a home right now? I don't know. Did you lock the house when you left this morning? Or what happened?

No, no. Shut the door? Who do I call to sort out a problem with the lock? Did you have a trouble with your car too when you were up north? It broke down? Oh, yes. Oh, that was horrendous as well. And I looked like an absolute loser reading the manual

trying to figure out what everything meant. But two lovely men came and helped us. What was wrong? You just ran out of petrol or something? No. I've got no petrol. Where would I go to? I don't know where you'd go.

I don't know. What are these stations of petrol that you tell me of? You speak of. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. Calling every town and city. We do this once a day on the show,

and we've kept up the consistency. I can't believe it. We have never committed to anything for this long, Ben Boyce. We're still going. We're trying to call every town and city in New Zealand, get around the whole country alphabetically. We're in ifs now. It seems like we're getting towards the middle of the alphabet.

That's how the alphabet works. The further you go through it, the closer to the middle you get. Foxton, it's a town in the Manawatu-Wanganui region of New Zealand, and the town claims to be the flax capital of New Zealand. They live life to the flax capital of New Zealand. They live life to the flax-imum. The local cricket team are the black flax. For communication they use a flax machine.

The flaxophone is the preferred instrument and their waxing regime is a back sack and flax. Do they actually claim to be the flax? Yeah, they are the flax capital. Really? All that other stuff was made up. Yeah, right. I didn't know that about Foxton. Yeah, rich history of flax. Right.

And also famous for the Foxton fizz bin, which you were banging on about. Yeah, well, you see that in shops all around the place, you know, Foxton fizz. Is it like a Fanta, is it? Yeah, it's like a different, yeah, like a range of sort of fizzy drinks, yeah, from Foxton. Is it never branched out of Foxton?

It's purely a soda designed for the people of Foxton. Oh, no, but you can see it up here. You see it in my... Oh, it's everywhere. Yeah, can't phase and stuff up here. Yeah, from time to time. Oh, good. I'm glad they diversified

outside of Foxton. Yeah, they got out of Foxton. Well, today we're going to call the quilt shop of all places. Okay. Good morning, Foxtrot. It's Michelle speaking. Hello, Michelle.

It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Hello. Well, Michelle just threw you under the bus, mate. That was a great handoff. Who's this? That was a really good handoff. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How are you?

Why don't you try and hand us back to Michelle to see if you can throw her back under the bus. Oh, she's run away now. You see? She's run away. She didn't say it. She just said hello, and then she just went, it's for you. Oh, that was the bus. Oh, she's run away now. You see, she's run away. She didn't say it. She just said hello, and then she just went, it's for you.

Oh, that was well played. Yeah, exactly. What's your name? Julie. Julie, it's the A to Z of New Zealand. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. Foxton, come on down. Foxton, yes.

Yeah, and looking at it, remarkable place Absolutely What can you tell us about the Foxtown? The Foxtown, the Fox's Cottage Quilt Shop of course Alright, now you don't talk to many people running quilts nowadays do you? Are quilts sort of a dying art? Absolutely not Okay, my bad, my bad

Absolutely not Don't say that to a quilt enthusiast. Oh, Robin wants to talk to you now. Oh, Robin's back. Robin, the other owner, she's desperate to talk to you. Okay, well, this is the, okay. Good morning. Robin.

Oh, my God, you are the real Jono and Ben. Oh, yeah, we're just as disappointing and over the phone as we are in real life. How are you, Robin? Hey, awesome. Robin, so you over the phone as we are in real life. How are you, Robin? Hey, awesome. Robin, so you run the quilt shop, do you? Oh, there's two of us that think we run it, and then we have to employ real staff to actually do the hard work. Yeah, they tell me it's a dying art.

No, not a dying art. Yeah, no, the lady before was just saying it's a dying art. No, definitely not a dying art. Yeah, that's what we... You might want to have words with her, because she's answering the phone going, hello, that's a quilt shop, dying art. No, she not a dying art. Oh, no. I want to have words with her. Because she's answering the phone going, hello, that's a quilt shop, dying art. No, she's not.

She got very offended that Jono said it was a dying art. We have to fire her for that, you realise. Hey, Foxton, what can you tell us about Foxton? Got a lovely beach, Foxton Beach, I know that. Hey, it's got the best beach, because you can beach comb on the beach. I have the best collection of old vintage bottles that have washed

up on our beach. It's so cool. Uh-oh. Are you a hoarder? Um, just a little bit. You would love to meet Ben's mum, Jenny Boyce. Yeah, she loves keeping stuff as well. Oh! Yeah, yeah. She, uh, oh, she hoards all sorts of cake crumbs. If you have crumbs left over from a cake, she keeps that. Plastic bits, uh,

the plastic fish you get from sushi, she keeps the little bottles of those. Do you know what she uses those for? What? She puts mouthwash in them and takes them out with her and so she can have a little bit of mouthwash when she goes. Oh, no, I don't know about that. That just doesn't sound right.

If you're in the market for two and a half drops of mouthwash, then Jenny Boyce is your lady. I love it. How long have you lived in Foxton for? We've been here since 2008. Would you believe it? We left Queensland and came to Foxton. What horrible crimes did you do to deserve that?

Foxton's lovely. What's one thing we should do if we go to Foxton? Well, other than quilting. Yes, true, of course. Oh gosh, now that's going to be a hard pick. You have to go to the wakeboard park. Oh, have you got a park like a mechanical one? A proper wakeboard park, yep.

Oh, with the wire that tows you? Yes. Oh, awesome. That's pretty cool. It is awesome. That's awesome. Robin, lovely to talk with you. What an absolute character you are.

Oh, thank you so much. And if you could say anything to the rest of New Zealand right now, the floor is yours. Oh, gosh. Good luck. Stay safe. Put your masks on. Make them out of quilting cotton.

Enough with your bloody quilting propaganda. Look after yourself in Foxton. We will. Lovely to talk to you. You too. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz.

What do you have for me? Now, finally, a little break from coronavirus news. Here's Juju with Spy. What have we got? Well, I'm going to disappoint you because I do have a little bit of coronavirus news. This is my escape from coronavirus news. So Dwayne The Rock Johnson revealed that he and his entire family contracted coronavirus. So him, his wife and his two daughters who were only four and two years old.

And he said that getting the positive tests were a kick in the gut. And despite being disciplined, they were really disciplined about, you know, sanitising, staying socially distant distant and everything and they still managed to get it. That's the thing. You could have all the protection in the world and really at the end of the day you're not fully guaranteed that you won't catch it, right? Especially in the States and other countries where it's going quite

nuts, right? You just don't know where it is. Exactly. It becomes so much more real when celebrities get it. I remember when Tom Hanks got it and I was like, Tom Hanks got it? I know. And he was the first sort of big celebrity to say that he had got it. So now I read that Dwayne the Rock Johnson's not going to let anyone

into his house for the next little while until they can prove they've got, they're negative, they've had a negative test, which is fair enough. No one can come in and smell what The Rock's cooking. Not welcome in his house. I thought coronavirus would be too scared to infect Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I know. And also he's such a healthy, it looks like such a healthy big man that just nothing could end him.

Yeah, you're right. Nothing could end Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Do you know something interesting about Dwayne The Rock Johnson? His ex-wife is married to his best friend, aka his personal trainer. And they all get on really great. They get along like a house of luck. He was kind of at the wedding

Dwayne the Rock Johnson's like yeah you married my wife mate. Wow. So his best friend's his personal trainer who married his ex-wife. Married his ex-wife. How long has...

And he's remarried now Dwayne and has new kids. And so he married the other guy's wife. No, no. Wow, that's interesting. Yeah. May, correct me if I'm wrong, he might have even been married the other guy's wife. No, no. Wow, that's interesting. Yeah.

May, correct me if I'm wrong, he might have even been in the groom party. Right. The wedding of his ex-wife. Far out. Hey, well, that's growing up

and adult, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Don't know if I'd be the same being if you married Jennifer. How would you feel if I married Amanda? Yeah. Would it make

the show a little longer? Well, it depends how everyone is in this situation. Everyone's like, oh, I'm going to leave you. If I told you right now I'm marrying Amanda. I'd be like, oh, okay. She hasn't mentioned anything to me. Someone might have brought it up to her now.

She should have sent me an email or something. It's good to hear these things on the radio for the first time. Yeah, no, it's great. And Miley Cyrus, she has spoken out about her very public divorce from Liam Hemsworth. And so they got married split a year afterwards, which was quite surprising because they'd been sort of together on and off

since she was about 16 or so. And she said, what really sucked wasn't the fact that I'd realised that I'd fallen out of love with him. It was actually how public it was and how shamed she was by everyone because she supposedly moved on quite quickly with another woman. So, yeah.

So, I think not long after, there were photos of her kissing a woman on a boat. That's right. And everyone was like, wow, you've moved on quickly. And she was with someone too, that other lady. Anyway, that was just a bit of a fling on a boat in the Mediterranean, isn't it? We've all been there before. Ben, you and me were there. We had a fling. We of a fling on a boat in the Mediterranean is it? We've all been there before. Ben, you and me were there. We had a fling with a man and my wife.

Now I find out there's actually more going on. Oh wow. Just flinging everywhere. It would be a tough thing I imagine having your divorce play out. Oh my gosh. Not only in American news but international media as well. And everyone commenting on it. You'd be like, oh, my God.

But no one knows all the full details. No, exactly. But somehow you form an opinion, and we spell those opinions off in segments like this on Spy. Exactly. She was just on Joe Rogan's podcast talking about it, right? Yeah, yeah, it was Joe Rogan. It is a long podcast, like two hours, 16 minutes interview with her.

I was going to have a listen last night. I was like, well, I need to dedicate a good two hours to listen to the whole thing. My two flatmates watch and listen to every Joe Rogan podcast because I think he uploads them to YouTube as well

and they just sit there for two or three hours on the weekend watching. I'm like, what are you doing with your life? Has Joe not heard of editing? I don't know.

Maybe Joe could trim 45 minutes off it or something. Yeah, maybe. He indulges in the devil's cabbage too before doing those so no wonder they go on for so long. Yeah, true. He indulges in the devil's cabbage too before doing those. So no wonder they go on for so long. True. Go to some interesting spaces. This show would be nine hours every day if we did that.

That would be funny. For more info, you can head to thehits.co.nz and Viva Volume 1 is glossy. It's on sale nationwide. For more info, you can text Viva to 4487. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, our drive show here at the Hits, a wonderful drive show, Stace, Mike and Anika have written a song for Father's Day because that's on Sunday. Oh, it's a lovely song too, isn't it? Only if we did more stuff like that, the show would be more likeable, Ben. Yeah, you're right.

I've written a song for us for Father's Day too. Have you? Okay, to all the dads out there. Dad, Dad, you hooked up with mum. Dad, dad, after that moment of passion, you had a son. The end. Oh, wow.

Lovely. Oh, lovely touching. Touching. That's why they're a good show and we're middling. More factual than touching. But joining us... Well, there was touching that had to take place. This is Stace, Mike and Anika.

Mike, how's it going, buddy? Oh, great. Good. End of the week, feeling good. You sound windy, but not as in... No. ...something's coming back from last night's dinner, but as in you're in the wind, Mike.

Yeah, I am. I'm just out walking the dog. That's what I do. What sort of dogs do you run, mate? I've got a little Cocker Spaniel. There's too many innuendos here. Yeah, I know. I'm glad Spaniel was used in that sentence.

Oh, that's lovely. Do you walk your Cocker Spaniel every morning, do you? Every morning, as soon as I get up. And yes, I taught a new trick the other day. It's exciting. I taught him how to shake hands. Probably inconvenient in this COVID era, but never mind.

Teach it to do the elbow, the awkward sort of elbow bump. Now, Mike, Stace, Mike and Anika, you put together, well, on Mother's Day, you guys put together a wonderful song for Mother's Day with help from the Hits audience. And you've done it again for Father's Day. Yeah, look, it was something we like to do,

and usually dads, you know, they get sort of dad jokes, and we were thinking, should we write a song about putting beers and barbecues together? And it's a better present than waking up with, you know, a kid stamping on your throat and putting Play-Doh in your eyeballs on Father's Day. So this is a lovely... People can download this song. Yeah, and I hope they enjoy it.

We took out quotes from the listeners again and it turned out really beautiful. And that Anika, she sure knows how to write a song. Don't know where she gets it from. She should look at her career in music. Yeah, I wish mine go right, I think. Yeah, if this radio thing doesn't work out for her.

Yeah, and you know, she made me sing. She forced me. You don't say no to Anika, you know know, she made me sing, she forced me, you don't say no to Anika, you know, so she forced me to sing

and I was a little bit sheepish about it but I was really stoked, I was pleased to be part of it and Stacey does some ooh-ooh-oohs, Anika does most

of the heavy lifting but it's a really emotional song and when we played it the other day, it brought tears to people's eyes, I'm not sure

whether that was because of my singing or whether they liked the song. Oh, that's awesome. That was lovely. We need to get a bloody singer-songwriter on this show, mate. Ben, pick your game up, mate. I know, I know.

Two boys have written some great parodies over the years. Wow. Are they? Yeah, they don't have to be bringing any tears. Hey, that's awesome, Mike. What a wonderful thing you guys have done. And we're going to play it for you now. Get ready, New Zealand.

Get your hankies out. Mike's going to walk off with his cocker spaniel. And here's the Father's Day song from Stace, Mike, and Anika. Here it is for you right now on the hits. You hold my hand You never let go And my old man I'm your lady If I call on you, you'll be there beside me anyway. I'm your little shadow and you are my hero. You see the sun is rising and setting by me. Oh, daddy, can you hear me?

I'll say it clearly I love you In a father's eyes You can hear his thoughts Feel his love Even when nothing's said You give me light Even when it's dark

Please hold my hand I'll be there for you anywhere I'm your little shadow And you are my hero To see the sun is rising and setting beneath Oh, Daddy, can you hear me? I'll say it clearly I love you. It's Jono and Ben.

That is Little Shadow from the drive team here at the Hits. That was beautiful. I was just thinking how heartfelt and lovely they are. That was really good. It's a lovely song. We could never do that. Why not? Well, firstly, we don't have the singing ability.

That was a really, all three of them can sing. Oh, no. What can you do, mate? No, nothing. I can't even do what we're doing now, bro. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

We're going to get the Friday started, right? Why is it going to be a good day for you? We'd love to hear from you right now on our 100 The Hits. And as we mentioned before, thanks to kindface.co.nz. We've got a couple of our Ashley Bloomfield master giveaway. I found five bucks in my pocket this morning. That was a present to myself. Love it.

Unless I'm wearing someone else's trousers right now. And thank you very much to that person. Barb, when's it going to be a good day? Morena, John and Benno. Oh, Barb, how are you, mate? When's it going to be a good day for you as a teacher, Barb? Because I've got blue glitter in my hair, which makes me feel really bouncy and fun.

Why have you got blue glitter in your hair? You've been out at the clubs, Barb? Yeah, just about. We're having a musty day for Cure Kids. Oh, very nice. End of the day, we'll have lots of money. And at the end of the day, I'll pick up my grandkids, which makes it fabulous.

And what makes it wonderful is that I'm talking to you guys and you're going to give me a mask. Oh, have a great day. And everyone else, have a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on the hits Oh, have a great day and everyone else have a great weekend. We'll catch you Monday.