Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - September 07 - The Kiwi Referendumb, Ruud Kleinpaste, Dob In A Cooking Cheat...

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

Hello Monday! We're on a mission to find New Zealand's ultimate Kiwi icon. We're giving you guys something to vote on, since the general election and referendums are being delayed. So today it was Richie McCaw vs. Cheese Rolls. And we talked to an absolute character from an Invercargill cafe who shared her Nana's recipe! Ben also shared the adorably hilarious Father's Day poem his daughter Sienna wrote for him. Finally, we chatted to Ruud Kleinpaste - aka the Bug guy. He brought in a bunch of creepy little insects (including a redback spider. Yes you read that correctly) and shared with us some of his crazy stories. It's a goodie!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rolling. Here we go. Jono and Ben. New to your mornings. Friends of Skinny. New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime.

Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Podcast. Here we are back again at it. That's another one. Back again at it. You know, you just keep churning our podcast, don't you? We do. They keep coming. And I've looked at the figures. Back again at it. You know, you just keep churning our podcast, don't you? We do. They keep coming. And I've looked at the figures.

People are loving them. People are loving the podcast, mate. Number one. I've looked at the insights, the tracking. You know how you get the graph? Yeah. You obviously haven't looked too hard, but that's fine. That's fine.

We'll take number one in whatever figures. I don't know if the graph was to do with our podcast. I think it was actually New Zealand's COVID numbers that just kept going up and up. I thought it was our podcast listeners. Actually, speaking of which, yesterday I was driving along and I saw signs, you know, and you see signs, road signs that say event, you know,

and there was lots of road cones. It was like, event, event. And I was like, oh, this is exciting. What's the event? And I drove up there and it was like, it was COVID testing. Oh, that is the lamest event ever. I was like, no one wants. Come along to this fun event where we'll stick a nine metre stick up your nose.

I was like, surely we've got other signs to put up other than an event and make it feel like it is an event. I mean, I know we're rubbing our faces in it. We don't have events anymore at the moment. Have you had a COVID test? No, I haven't. No. People are, you know, family members have had a COVID test and stuff previously, but no.

I haven't had one. I'm sure everyone in the country and the world will probably at some stage have to get one. Yeah. I think there should be, I think we could make advancements into the technique, you know, sort of like a saliva test. There is. They're looking into that. Oh, good.

It feels like they should have looked into that a while ago instead of, oh, no, the only option is we're going to shove this up there. A New Zealand lady is working with, she's in America, and she's working with a factory over there who are basically, and they're using some of the NBA players' saliva. And they don't know whose players it is or who they relate to. They're like, oh, it could be LeBron James. It doesn't know who it is, but they're also working on that saliva test

to get results for the NBA. So it's another way of doing it and just working through the protocol to make it more easily accessible for other people to have a saliva test rather than just a thing up your nose. Oh, jeez, Ben, you're across the advancements in COVID technology.

I just saw it on the thing the other day. Basically, if it's anything centered around the NBA, he'll know what it's to do with. Exactly, yeah. If the topical event has nothing to do with any NBA players, then he'll make... I don't know about it.

Hey, coming up on the podcast, important dates heading into Father's Day. Dads, traditionally not good at remembering important dates in their life. Well, we put them to the test. What date is their birthday?

Oh, I don't know that one. Sorry. I'll give you the month. It's January. January, okay. It's January. January. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Still got any bells? Yeah. How many days are in January? How many days are in January? Yeah. Don't double down on it.

Put our mics already under the pump. Does Mike figure out his granddaughter's birthday? It's a shaky start. But does he get there in the end? You'll find already under the puff. Does Mike figure out his granddaughter's birthday? It's a shaky start, but does he get there in the end? You'll find out on the podcast. And we've got Angela Bloomfield. Oh, yeah, Shortland Street actor.

You'll know her from Rachel McKenna on Shortland Street. She's pivoted. That's the new word at the moment, right? Well, she's now got a new career. It's also a great thing to do at a game of basketball as well, pivoting. Yeah, yeah, tie that back into your favourite thing. Thank you. That's on the podcast today.

Enjoy. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The Kiwi Referendum. Now, we were meant to be voting in September. Obviously, the election's been delayed by a couple of months for obvious reasons, but we wanted to give New Zealand something to vote on right now, and we thought, why don't we put together the most

iconic things that New Zealand has to offer and we'll vote for New Zealand's greatest. What is New Zealand's greatest, most iconic thing? What is the one thing you could not do without? Yes, the ultimate piece of Kiwiana. So it kicks off this morning 8 o'clock, you can start voting and

today's battle we're putting cheese rolls, which they label South Island sushi, cheese rolls against Richie McCaw. Like, the South Islanders are going to combust this morning. They're not going to know which way to go. I know. I know.

Richie McCaw, All Black legend, and, of course, the legendary cheese rolls from the South Island. What would you go? I've tried a cheese roll, and I was like, oh, they're okay. And I apologise to the South Island because What would you go? I've tried a cheese roll and I was like, oh, yeah, they're okay. And I apologise to the South Island because I know they're okay. They're okay.

But this is in your wheelhouse. We talk about you being the food bugger. This is white bread. This is cheese. Yeah. Onion dip. This is you. Like, if I can think

some of your favourite things and put them up, I'll be like, Jono is going to be the biggest fan of cheese rolls. Yeah, but then I, Richie McCaw Richie McCaw won multiple World Cups. If we didn't have Richie, we wouldn't have World Cups. No, I'm going cheese rolls.

You're going cheese rolls? Yeah. I'm going to say it. The healthy, hummus-eating, salary-stick-shoving. But I just know how iconic that will be. But then Richie's really iconic. Jesus, this is tough. It is going to be tough.

We're going to do the voting, as we mentioned, at 8 o'clock. We even spoke to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern on Friday about this. If we put her up against, you know, a type of food. Oh, I will admit that in amongst my eclectic music taste. Sorry, that's the wrong piece of audio. I don't think I have that. Do I not? I'm not sure.

Well, listen, I don't know. Julie, as you're having a conversation with yourself, that's fine. You look confused. Completely a wrong piece of audio that I loaded in there. Oh, that's her talking about her favourite pop song. Yeah. What she did say about, she said, don't put me up against

a potato top pie. She said she would vote for a potato top pie over her. So that's what the National Party needs to do now. They need to get rid of Collins. Put a potato top pie over her. So that's what the National Party needs to do now. They need to get rid of Collins. Put a potato top pie in his leader. Even she'll vote for Nats. So that kicks off 8 o'clock this morning. The Kiwi

referendum you can get early votes into if you want. 4487. Angela! You're on the air. I love Richie. They're both of my children. Angela, which way are you voting in the referendum? Cheese rolls. Yeah, well, why is that? Just, I don't know, just an iconic thing of the South.

Richie, yeah, he's been and done. He's done. He's been and done? Try telling that to his wife and children. Sorry, kids, your dad's done. He's been a great New Zealander, there's no denying that. He's still around. Why are you all talking to him like he's gone?

Is he better than the cheese roll? That's the question. Both of these things are great. Stop referring to him in past tense. They're iconic New Zealand things. It's so tough. Joining us on the phone right now, actually from Curau, is Jane, who runs a cafe there, who makes cheese rolls.

Jane, which way would you go? Ooh. What could you do without? What could we do without? Well, we don't have Richard McCoy anymore. Yeah, but imagine if he didn't exist.

You'd be like, well, we wouldn't have won the World Cup, you know, so many times. Well, no, we wouldn't have in this town. Oh, yeah. No, I live in Kurau,

so I really, although we do make, I run Wild Safe Cafe, so I'll put a plug in there for my cafe. We do make the best cheese rolls. Oh, so you're torn. You're torn. When Richie tore his calf muscle.

I've got the whole of South Island now. Yeah, but Kurao is where Richie's from, you know. I know. South Island sushi is, oh, and yeah, and Richie McCaw. Look, I'm going to have to go with Richie McCaw just to be a good Kura out. A Kurausian. Yeah, Kurausian. Kurausian.

Kurausian. And it's been lovely talking to you. Yes, you too. Cheers, Jane. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorowen Manomahit. It was Father's Day yesterday,

so happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. All the good ones and the shocking ones as well. Pay homage to everyone. You got quite an amusing mug from your family, didn't you? Oh, yeah, it was like, you know, the COVID government ads with the yellow diagonal stripes, and it was like, it was a comedy cup and it was dad farts alert level four.

And then on the back it said, keep a safe two metre distance and stuff. It was quite clever. Yeah, it was very good. And a hand-drawn card too, which was options of what I could do for the day. Oh, nice. So option one was,

A, take us to an arcade. B, take us to another arcade. Hang on, where's the choices for me in this? Well, my daughters, maybe both lovely cards, and one of my daughters, Sienna, wrote a poem for me and I got her to read it out because I thought maybe we could break down the poem that she wrote for Father's Day

and we could talk about it because it included you in it actually. I got a shout out. You did. Father's Day shout out. This is Sienna's poem. We'll take it stage by stage. Here's how it started. Dear Daddy, today

I would like to say a very happy Father's Day. You are as sweet as a chocolate treat that you probably won't eat because you don't really eat chocolate. She knows about your healthy regime. You don't stay 35 kgs with eating chocolate.

Sweet as a treat but you probably won't eat the treat. But then they carried on. You talk rubbish on the radio in the morning, and when you do the show from home, you wake us up talking loudly with no warning. I love you every day of the year, and that won't go away, like Jono's hair. Oh.

When you said I got a shout-out, more just a savage burn. You got a shout-out. It won't go away. And also, obviously when I do the show from home, I'm quite loud waking the family up

so it's good to know. But then she says she loves you as well but you can tell it's like a passive aggressive. These are some good things and some bad things. She says all you do

is talk rubbish and then you talk rubbish at home and it wakes us up. More like you're an inconvenience upon the household if anything. Performance appraisal from my daughter, and it carried on.

You care for us so we never feel alone. And thanks for buying me a brand new iPhone. That's a hint. So there you go. Oh, so she doesn't have an iPhone. No, so she wants a present for her, much like your kids want to go to the arcade. Who's to say Father's Day is all about the dads, eh?

And then finally, the poem from my daughter ended like this. I hope you have the best day of them all. We might even let you watch some NBA basketball, if you're lucky though. You say you are not the best dad in the world, but to me you are. Sorry, that last bit didn't rhyme. Because I'm always saying, number one dad.

I was like, don't buy me the number one dad stuff. Because I can't drink out of it. I'll be a fraud. I'm not number one. I'm a long way off. I try'm not number one I'm a long way off I try my best But I'm a long way off That is the sweetest little poem

So cute At least she thinks She's number one That's the main thing That's right She doesn't know Any other dance though Does she?

I think maybe I might Introduce her to some Better dance And she might go Oh actually I'm being Delta Dud Some people skip breakfast The meal

And also this show It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Hey, thank you for joining us this morning on this Monday. Now, I was talking to a friend over the weekend who a couple of weeks ago got sent an ad that he was in online, like his picture was being used. Oh, really? Yeah, but the shocking thing is, yeah, life's got a way on him.

You know, we're at our age, we're all giving up on life now. Yeah. You know, his tightest days are behind him. Yeah. And so he was being used as like a before shot on a weight loss product in Thailand. No. Yeah, but then what they had done is like six months later

and they'd badly photoshopped his face onto like this ripped body. Oh, so they'd used him twice. They'd used him twice. So he'd made a wonderful transformation. But just pinched his photo of him at the beach over New Year's off Facebook and then used it in this ad. Oh my goodness.

It was crazy. It happens to quite a few people, even celebrities as well. I think Tony Street and then Kamala. Oh yeah. And Stacey Morrison I think was one as well. I think Tony Street and Nick and Warren. Oh, yeah. And Stacey Morrison, I think, was one as well. He had, but it was an embarrassing one. He had one of those flax hats on that had got the straws down,

you know, where you put beer cans in the hats. Oh, those ones. They're like, look at this guy. He was loose. He had a stand. And after drinking this fit juice, look at him now. He's ripped. Kind of annoying for your mate because he's like,

well, I haven't turned my life around. If anything, I've got worse. I've added another 5K G-Cent. We're not bad enough to use the photo, but you photoshopped me onto a... That's why it was funny when they have news stories on like One News and stuff. Oh, yeah, those ones.

And they go like, oh, you know, New Zealand's obesity is at an all-time high. And they've sent out some camera operator. Yeah, all right, Tony, what's my assignment today? Well, I need you to go out and film some guts. Yeah. You know, so he's sort of sitting there. But they still show people they shouldn't be doing that. camera operator, yeah, alright Tony, what's my assignment today? Well I need you to go out and film some guts. You know, so he's sort of sitting there.

but they still show people they shouldn't be doing that. Just like secretly filming people's stomachs as they walk down the road. Yeah. You'd be questioning your career there, wouldn't you?

You'd be like, well this is not what I got into. And especially if you sit down and you watch the news at six o'clock and you're like, hold on, that gut looks familiar.

I was wearing that t-shirt, you know, it would be like, I'm being fat shamed. I'm being fat-shamed. I'm part of the obesity problem. Anyway, just keep an eye out for your security on the internet. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Countdown have got some super insect bug cards in the supermarkets at the moment. And we've got Rude Kleinpaster joining us in the studio right now. Now, Rude, you've come in with a collection of bugs. You're the New Zealand's bug man. At the moment, I've got a wetter sitting on my hand,

which is a little, I'm coping with it okay, but you've come in here with, you've got a redback spider. You've got, what else have you got here? Look, well, you've got a wetter. I've got wetter. We've got this funny little redback here. You've got a red back out that's It's just sort of out in the open.

Our bloody HR would have a nightmare if they walked in here right now, Rude. Well, you try and board an airplane like that. Well, yeah, I was going to say, you flew from Christchurch. Is this a new carry-on luggage? It is. Now, can you do a quick head count so we know you're taking everyone away with you today?

You're here. That's what I'm worried. You come in and you today? Well, you're here. You're here. That's what I'm worried. You come in and you go, oh, there was a spider. I had two of these. Just think about it. How would all our New Zealand insects feel about us dumping a five-story building called NZ me, me, me, me, me, me, or whatever, on their house? Right.

I would say they'd be happy because that building pays us. You're on Newstalk ZB, you're on the sweet dollar. Let's not bite the hand, Rude. He's moving, he's moving. He's going up to Ben's face. He's on Ben's face. The waiter is crawling up his neck.

Why did he move? There's social distancing. Get up. You can't continue the rest of the interview like this, Ben. No, you can't. Pull yourself together, mate. A little bit more coherent, please. If you've just joined us, Ben's got a wetter crawling over his head at the moment. Oh, God.

Now you've got a vagrant spider on you. It's crawling up my head. Why do I always want to crop my arm? What's the vagrant spider? Hey, mate, you've been quite noisy. Can you tone it down? We're doing an interview. Sorry. We're teaching an interview. Sorry.

We're teaching kids in New Zealand about bugs over the next few weeks of Countdown, which is a great idea. And if you're anything to go by, the kids will just love the bugs, mate. They will just love these bugs. What's one fact that you can tell us that always wows people when it comes to bugs? There's lots of stuff. But the most important thing is that we really need to look after our insects because they are on the bottom of the ecosystem.

They're food for birds. They're food for everything else. They are the ones that do the dung removal. They do the composting. They do the pollination. A third of everything you eat is being touched by a bee. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Stuff like that.

The bee population is declining rapidly. No, it's not. I just made that up. No, no, no. I think we have to be serious about this because I know everybody says that the bees are in trouble. They's not. I just made that up. No, no, no. I think we have to be serious about this because I know everybody says that the bees are in trouble. They're not. Google told me they were.

I don't care about Mr. and Mrs. Google. It never lies to me. No, this is the point. Google thinks that they have a website. I'll show you a website. It's that big, flat, lots of silk in it. It's a great website. You know, many of us, well, we talked about this earlier we have cans of raid in our house or get the house sprayed i

imagine you're not that sort of person no not really why do we get little daddy long leg spiders living in the corner of our you know our corridors and in our bedrooms it's because they're cellar spiders or or if you like cave spiders that actually say well it's a nice house you build over the top of mine do you mind if i move in right and they sit there in the corner eating mosquitoes wasps flies and and doing the cleaning for you why would you have an aerosol can it's things like that that kids learn through this whole countdowns card system and those are the stories i think that take all the nonsense out of it. Every time I look at a spider, I think it's a white tail.

And I'm always like, it's a white tail, it's a white tail, it's a white tail. And you brought a white tail in. That's right. And there's 800 other species that look a little bit like it, but are not the same. And you were saying the white tail is not actually the cause of many poisonous spider bites. No, it's not.

It's getting a bad rap out there, Roo. Yes, it does. And I think we have to do something about that. That's called, what do you call it again? That's sort of like media hype and things. Fake news. Fake news. Yeah. So I was watching Spider-Man with my kids the other night and he got bitten and he turned

superhero. What would actually happen in real life? Like me, you get paralysed. Okay, really? Did you get paralysed? Oh yeah, I'm paralysed. Alright, yeah, yeah. Especially bitten by things like venomous ants. Oh, so you've'm paralysed. All right, yeah, yeah. Especially bitten by things like venomous ants. Oh, so you've been bitten many times? Yeah, that was my hobby. Okay, really?

Have you been in a hospital paralysed? Yeah. I'll be happy. Why are you still on the bug game? Get out of the bug game, mate. This is, you know what you do for your job. Oh, you guys know all this crap. We've done some stuff.

You went in some inflatable little blinking thingy over like Taupo. I mean, hello. Yeah, yeah. So you make a point with these things. And one of the things I did was working with, for instance, redbacks and getting bitten by them and just stuffing it out. But also with our native giant centipede, the big one, which is now in a box somewhere here.

Causes us. Because it bit me. So it's wandering around the accounts department. Let me go find that. You've been all over the world, you know, talking about bugs on late night shows in America. Jay Leno, David Letterman. You've even hung out with Beer Grylls as well, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He made a bad mistake. He was moaning to me about the fact that wetter tastes really bad. This is a guy who drinks his own pee. That's the one. And I said, no, do you realise what a weather is? And he says, yeah. He said, do you realise they're compost feeders?

So you are complaining that you're eating a compost feeder and it tastes like shite. I mean, hello. Rude the bug man with us. Now, you've been loving bugs for a very long time. Yeah, far too long. Is there one spider or insect that you just won't go near? Yes, there are. Oh, really? There are things like that

giant centipede that I will only touch with gloves. I have been hammered really badly by that. What happens when you get paralysed by a bug like that? You can't pick up a pencil, you can't do anything, and it hurts like hell. How long does it last for? That lasted for almost two hours, the paralysis, but the pain for another

six weeks, and then itching for another six months. Oh, my goodness. And so have you been bitten by a snake? Yes, but that was not a venomous snake, which is good, so I slapped it around the whiskers and said, don't do that again. But the worst, if you want to know the worst thing, and it's an insect that came from the Amazon jungle,

and it was called the bullet ant, and hormiga 24 horas, which is the Spanish for the 24-hour ant. When that stings you, you get a numb feeling around your hand, and then you get what I call the cleanest pain on the planet. That means that you suddenly realize how your nervous system works under your skin, the whole system. So you've got a sore point there. If you move your eyebrow, only your eyebrow,

you feel and back again. And it goes like in one tenth of a second through all the neurological pathways. Oh, wow. So you have to lie dead still in bed and you move your toe and it goes there again. For 24 hours? For 24 hours.

And this is just one ant biting you? One ant stinging me. Biting and stinging from the back, saying, here. Did you do this on purpose? Yes. Because I didn't believe it was that bad. And then you're like, hour 18, you're like, oh, dear God. That was a bad life decision.

That was not good. That was not good. Okay, well, so countdown at the moment. Cards. Cards to collect. Puzzles to collect as well. Yeah, but also, and this is the most important thing for me, is the environmental education

that teachers can do and can use those resources to take it into the classroom and then take the classroom outside and I'm going to a couple of schools too and do that with them and we go mucking around in the forest and smacking open logs

and finding all these things and just being nature nerds. I do full frontal nerdity. Not in front of the kids, though, obviously. Congratulations on all you're doing. It's really awesome to educate the kids of New Zealand. There you go. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. P-A-Z-O-N-O-N-E-W-Z-E-L-A-N-D We are calling every town and city in New Zealand. Anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We are calling every town and city in New Zealand. We do one a day. We do it alphabetically. We're making our way slowly around this beautiful nation of New Zealand. Yes, and today we're heading to Frankton.

It's a location that has the most beautiful bits in New Zealand, and I'm not talking about Ben's mum, Jenny Boyce. I'm talking about Queenstown, in particular, Frankton, and it was named after the wife of settler William Gilbert Rees. Rumour has it it was the ultimate apology after a marital argument. Oh, really? And he named it the area of land. Oh, name this after you.

Clearly the petrol station flowers didn't work. Yeah. It's home to the airport, outdoor shopping malls, department stores, several supermarkets and also an abundance of coffee proprietors and one we're going through to right now, Odelay.

Odelay Cafe, Brett speaking. Odelay, Odelay, Odelay. How many times have you heard that, Brett? Fair few. Yeah, no. So will you still give it

the pity laugh? Yeah, it was good. We appreciate that. It's So, well, you still give it the pity laugh. Yeah, it was good. We appreciate that. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, g'day. How's it going, mate? We're doing well, buddy. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand.

Once a day we're doing this. And Frankton is next on the list. Okay. You love Frankton? Well, yeah. Queensland as a whole is a pretty good place, isn't it? No, we're zoning in on Frankton. How much do you love Frankton? Yeah, no, Frankton's pretty nice. pretty good place, isn't it? No, we're zoning in on Frankton. How much do you love...

Yeah, no, Frankton's pretty nice. Okay, well, can you tell us about Frankton? Well, what do you want to know? There's an airport, a nice cafe called Odele. Odele, Odele, Odele. Yeah, no, it's nice. It's sunny. Yeah, to be honest, it doesn't sound like you're that enamoured with Frankton.

You're more of a Queenstown type of guy. Well, Frankton's a suburb, really. It's not a whole town, isn't it? From what I've seen, a lot of coffee available on the map here. Oh, definitely. There's a lot of coffee available. Yeah. Almost 20 coffee outlets in the suburb. Oh, really? Is that right?

Yeah. I didn't notice that many. Obviously I'd laze providing the best caffeine. Oh, yeah, for sure. The airport. You're right by the airport. Beautiful when you land in Queenstown Airport, right? Oh, yeah, mate. It's airport? You're right by the airport. Beautiful when you land in Queenstown Airport, right? Oh, yeah, mate. It's pretty good scenery. Yeah.

How's the economy there now? People coming to visit? There's a few, yeah. Obviously, we missed the tourists, but we're doing all right. We're taking over. Yeah, you sound like a snowboarder. Oh, I haven't done it for a while, mate. But, yeah, I used to be a bit of a snowboarder.

Yep, snowboarder. And I bet you've parachuted or paraglided. Oh, no, that's not for me. If I was meant to fly, I would have had wings. Do you know the one thing I've found about Queensland,

obviously, is the steep hills in town. Yeah. They're a nightmare to walk down when it's icy. Oh, yeah. I think everybody's had a few accidents down there.

Oh, it's a nog, a nog slid down there, yeah. He blames it on the iciness, but he's been quite drunk at the time, haven't he? Yeah, well, the two of them combined together, of course,

but I had a good time. I remember going, I went to Queenstown, we arrived very early and I started gambling at the casino. Oh, did you? I went to the most beautiful place on earth and went straight into the casino.

Started playing pokies at 10am. What's one thing we should do if we come to Frankton, Queenstown? What should we do? Well, come to Odley for a nice feed and a coffee thing we should do if we come to Frankton, Queenstown? What should we do? Well, come to Odley for a nice feed and a coffee. Okay. And, oh, in Frankton,

oh, what's one thing you can do in Frankton? Jeez, I don't know. Go and ride the go-karts over at Game Over. They're pretty fun. And are you running an Eggs Benedict there,

are you? Yep, absolutely. Yeah, Holland Day is pivotal today. Oh, yeah, I make it fresh every morning. Oh, do you? Oh, do you?

Now, with a big breakfast, which I imagine you're running, what about the cooked tomato? What's your thoughts on cooked tomatoes? Cooked tomato? We don't actually have cooked tomato on our big breakfast. That's good, that's good. We've got homemade potato croquettes, sausages, bacon, eggs,

and whatever taste you like. Oh, that's good. I always found, and we've always agreed as a show, that the cooked tomato is filler content on that meal. Just because it's filler. Yeah, pretty much is. Obviously, if you want some, we can add it on. If you want mushrooms, whatever, we can add it.

But, yeah, our standard one doesn't come with it. Oh, good. You see, I'd rather have another saucy or a hash brown. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Obviously, if you want some, we can add it on. If you want mushrooms, whatever, we can add it. But yeah, our standard one doesn't come with it. Oh, you see, I'd rather have another saucy or a hash brown. Yeah, fair enough. Brett, lovely to meet you. Cool. Thanks for telling us about Frankton. We spent a lot of time talking about cooked breakfast and less time talking about Frankton,

but it was a wonderful conversation. Okay, cool, mate. Thanks. Look after yourself. See you, buddy. Okay, cheers. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big news.

Small town. Town, town, town. Now, these are stories that mainstream media might ignore, but not us here, Jono, on the New Zealand's Breakfast, right? They're distracted with covering the pandemic and the election, so other stories are falling through the cracks, but we catch them. Us bottom feeders are down here catching the dregs.

Now, this is a story out of Richmond in Nelson where Jodie is in her backyard. She's got a couple of turkeys, the birds. They've just turned up a few days ago, and they are not leaving. She joins us on the phone right now. Jodie, what are you looking at? Where are the turkeys right now?

Oh, well, I'm currently looking at them making themselves at home all through my veggie garden. So the turkeys, they came, what, just out of the blue? Yeah, I came home on Monday and pulled up the drive. And it was just, one of them was, there was only one at that stage. And it was just sitting on my driveway. And I stopped the car and I said to the kids, oh my gosh, look what's in our property. And it was a little bit exciting and like, what is that? We'd never seen a dad and I've

never seen a turkey before. There are only five. And then we're walking around the house. It's all a little bit funny. And then the neighbour goes, yeah, there's two of them. They've been around here all day. And then we watched them on the neighbour's roof for a little bit. And now they just won't leave my garden. Why have they chosen your house? So you're in a suburban area. Yeah, quite well built up. They've just zeroed in on Jodie's house. These two random turkeys. Maybe I had the best lettuces of the neighbourhood. And they're just making themselves at home.

Quite, quite at home. Yeah, they have left me lots of little gifts. Lovely gifts. If this continues on, you're going to have to move out of the house, Jo. Yeah. It's the only option. They just sleep on my fence. That's good. Wow.

I'm just looking out the window. They've absolutely stripped everything that I've got growing. Apart from, they don't like garlics, leeks, and celery. I don't want to be this guy, but you've got four months till Christmas. Oh, everyone says that, Mike. You know, let them, let them, let them, fatten them up, Jodie.

The kids might have to learn a harsh lesson around December. I'm actually starting to like them. They're quite majestic, watching them. Like, not watching them now, because I'm literally watching to like them They're quite majestic Watching them Like not watching them now Because I'm literally watching them eat my salads But they're quite entertaining Do they gobble?

Yeah I was going to say that Do they make that gobble gobble gobble noise Or is that a myth? It's more of a They talk to each other. It's quite funny. And so what, are you doing anything

to resolve this problem? Maybe you can find the owner. Oh, so you think they're not wild, not wild turkey like the drink, but do you think they were owned by someone and they've just kind of got lost?

Yeah, I do. I do think that. I don't know where they could come from. So I called the SPCA and they said to get of got lost? Yeah, I do. I do think that. I don't know where they could come from. So I called the SPCA and they said to get in touch with the animal control. So I rang Nelson Animal Control, but I'm in a different district in Tasman,

so Nelson didn't want anything to do with it. So they put me through to Tasman District Council Animal Control and they said, they just laughed at first, and they said that they only really deal with animals like cats and dogs and horses, and they don't want anything to do with the turkeys. And I've put a post up on the Neighbourly and on the Nelson Lost and Found Pets, and there's lots of people having a good laugh about it,

but still nobody's been in touch. Can everyone just stop laughing at me and solve my problem? I know, this is legitimate. These landmines, all are in my whole property. Turkey gifts. Oh, the turkeys are taking over at Jodie's house. Listen, I would love to be able to help, but all I can do is sit here and laugh as well, Jodie,

so I'm no good to you. The amount of people that have told me, like, I've got wild turkey, but not in my favourite flavour. You've got to watch out, because they love to gobble up their food. Yeah, but my place is not suitable. It's too... This car is just not suitable.

Sorry, Jodie, you just missed... Sorry, Jodie. Gobble up. You just missed a good part there from Ben. Oh, gobble up. Sorry, Jodie. You just missed it. Sorry, Jodie. Gobble up. You just missed a good part on the F&B. Oh, gobble up. Oh, yeah. That's a goodie. Do you want any more, mate?

Do they drink out of a goblet? Ah, good one. Yeah. Maybe they'll leave to join a band because they've got drumsticks. Okay, no, that's not good. I'm reading these out on the fly. Oh, that one's bad. I'm reading these out on the fly. There we go. Yeah, no, that's all good. I'm reading these out on the fly. I'm reading these out on the fly.

There we go. Yeah, no, that's all I've got for you, Jodie. I'm sorry. We're out of turkey puns, Jodie, which means we're officially done with you in this big news segment. You, good luck. Thanks. Thanks, Haynes.

We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I'm not much of a cook. You're quite a good cook, aren't you? I enjoy it, yeah. Yeah. My last cook up, well, you know when you go to a good cook aren't you I enjoy it yeah my last cook up you know when you go to a potluck dinner

I never know what to bring so I inevitably end up getting a bucket of KFC chicken and it always goes down a treat at the potluck no one

everyone's like oh look at this guy but then it all disappears yeah you're right it's one of those things the last thing I had to do for Oscar's school there was like a

baked goods sale you know how they have those fundraisers? Oh, everyone's like, yeah. Everyone bakes a cake and I can't. I just don't know what I'm doing. So I went to Countdown and bought like these caramel slice things,

put them on a plate, put them out there and everyone's like, these are delicious. They're delectable. You must pass me the recipe. And I didn't. You didn't front foot it.

I took the glory. When someone's giving you glory like that, you let it me the recipe. And I didn't. You didn't front foot it. I took the glory. When someone's giving you glory like that, you let it wash over you. Have you ever cheated with cooking? No, but I have taken credit for things. Yeah, like when I had to do quarter-pointed community service, that was the same situation.

The people there knew what I was doing, but the other people were like, oh, so generous, you're helping out. And you're kind of like, oh. Yeah, well, the judge said I had to to get my community service. I was doing but other people were like oh it's so generous you're helping out and you're kind of like yeah well the judge said I had to to get my community service what's up

yeah it's hard that situation because you know the people there once the glory's coming you've got to take it you don't want to disappoint them

let them down Ben you're right so 0800 we want to open up this up this morning 4487 on the text cooking cheats when have you cheated

maybe you bought a pre-prepared meal and just heated it up in the microwave before the guests came over. We've got Dan on the phone. What happened to you, mate? Yes, yes, no, I am indeed. What we have, we're in a little country community

where we've got a local sort of country school and every year we have a lamb and calf day. So, and every year they have like a bake sale and an auction at the end of the day. It's a bit of fundraising and a bit of fun for the kids. So it's for your kids and your parents to make a cake and sort of display it, get a few votes, and then they auction it off at the end of the day. Due to, obviously, quite a few farming wives and sort of farmer's wives

and bakers and stuff like that, the competition's always quite strong and every year I'm pretty average so I was like, you know what, I'm going to one up it this year and actually go hard This is the year that Dan wins Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you've been chasing that baking title, that elusive baking title That's exactly it and I thought

because they're all pretty, I mean their noses are up in the air they're pretty competitive these ladies and I went you know, I'm going to have a laugh here, so my wife just rolls her eyes and says whatever you, just do what you need to do. And so we ended up purchasing this cake off a local cake baker. And I mean, to be fair, it was pretty impressive. Even myself was like, OK, I might have pushed it a bit far here. So we got it home.

It was all personalized, too, with my boy's name on it and stuff. So we're like, nah, we've got this, this or this. So we made a cardboard box to make it look a bit more homely. So we did participate a little bit in it. And it did it fair enough. It looked like a bloody wedding cake in the muckstove, all this banana cake and shortbreads. Lo and behold, the votes got read out and we were unanimous winners.

I'm sitting there with a very smug grin on my face. My boy's sitting there thinking, God, how good. Not really grasping the whole picture in the process, just smiling and going with it. The devious cheating levels you've gone to. Exactly, just keeping it low-key. And then, lo and behold, the local newspaper and the principal stood up

on the stage and said, right, congratulations to Dan and Jack. Happy as. Oh, you won. You won. That's great. Exactly. Congratulations. You won, you won, that's great. Yeah, exactly, congratulations, you won. But this year we've decided to do something different and the winner of the cake thing goes through to a bake-off, like a MasterChef. Oh, so you're cake and won

and you're through to the next round. And you've got to replicate again. I've now been, every year for the last five years it's just been a cake sale. You go home, you're a little... Oh no. Mixed it up. Now, on the whole, there's seven schools

that are now going to meet in two weeks at this big hall in town in front of a roaring crowd, commentary, everything, and to recreate your cake. In person. You've got to do it in person. In person. So how did that turn out? Oh, much to the roaring laughter of my wife beside me.

Honestly, it was an absolute... I even tried ringing the lady too to see if I could get a copy of the recipe of the cake and trying to be discreet and say, look, I won an award with your cake. So there was a lot of awkward moments.

Oh, mate. You're deep within a web of lies there. I love it. Oh, mate, I dug myself a hole. And I mean, yeah, crime doesn't pay it. So we ended up going to the event and up on stage. And to be honest, I mean, we gave it a good nudge. We didn't sort of win by all means.

But I mean, it didn't quite look what it was supposed to look like. It would come close. But it was honestly, it was sweaty. It was uncomfortable. My boy had no frigging idea what he was supposed to look like. Well, come close. But it was honestly, it was sweaty. It was uncomfortable. My boy had no frigging idea what he was doing. So it was a pleasant experience all around. Thank you, Dan. So good.

Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Guess what's in the pocket with Old El Paso Tortilla Pockets and win your share of 50,000 pesos. Now, thanks to Old El Paso Tortilla Pockets, brand new from them, we've got a chance to win every day 10,000 Mexican pesos, which is 691 New Zealand dollars.

Now, we did that with the international exchange rate, so we're not getting bad dollar against the peso at the moment. So we're going to play a game of what's in my pocket. Now Ben, I know you like to play this out in the office with the babes. You're like, hey babes, what's in my pocket? It's hands-free Friday remember? Ben doesn't use his hands

on Friday. You make me out to be some sort of monster. He's not. He's not a monster. So Jono, you've got to describe something from Mexico that is in your pocket. And if you can guess on 0800 the hits, you'll win 691 New Zealand dollars. Listen, to be honest, Ben, if there's anything in his pocket, it's going to be some Purell.

Hand sanitizer and some gum. Some gum, sugar-free extra gum and four celery sticks. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to give the clues this morning as to what's in my pocket. Okay. Producer Juliet, this might be something you're a fae with. Okay, so I'm going to give the clues this morning as to what's in my pocket. Okay. Producer Juliet, this might be something you're a fay with. Oh, yes. I will say this item

usually comes in a jar. Okay. A mini jar. Okay. Inside that the spread was first developed in Mexico. Right. So it's a Mexican dip of some description. Okay. You can use it's a Mexican dip of some description. Okay.

Okay. You can use it as a condiment, salads, or even put a chip inside of this. All right. Oh, a hundred of the hits, if you know,

thanks to old El Paso tortilla pockets. If you love Mexican food, you can get your hands on these tortilla pockets with a bottom. So all your favorite fillings stay inside with less mess,

which is a pretty cool thing to do. Wonderful integration of the product there as well, Ben, into our conversation. That's why you're a true pro. I will give another clue as to what's in my pocket. Producer Juliet, that's probably the reason you can't afford a house as a millennial. Because you've got nine of them at home right now. Yeah, I currently have nine sitting in my fruit bowl.

It's wonderful. Oh, do you? Yeah. Okay, well, you could use those to make this thing that's in Jono's pocket. I know we're out of the hits. Alright, Grace is on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Grace-o. Good morning. Good to have you on. What do you think's hiding in my

pocket? A bit of guacamole. Yes. Holy guacamole. Well done. You've got $691.46 NZD. Woohoo! Amazing. Thank you. That's pretty cool. It's a good start to your week, isn't it? That is an awesome start to my week.

And we're going to give you an old El Paso pack as well. Oh, yeah. So you can make the old El Paso tortilla pockets as well. Even better. Yeah, you can make it even better. Well, you have a great week. Thanks so much for listening. Thank you.

Perfect winner saying the old El Paso pack was better than $691. What a champagne winner. Get Grace back on. Client's going to love that. Another chance tomorrow morning to win 10,000 Mexican pesos thanks to Old El Paso Tortilla Pockets. Check them out. You can put your favourite morsels

in there and it doesn't get messy which is great. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket. She went to journalism school for nine years, graduated with a master's,

just so she could tell you what Kardashian has an infected belly button piercing. Here's producer Juliet with Spy. Thank you. So Tiger Whitey and American actor Jeff Goldblum, who you'll know from Jurassic Park. Is it Blum or Bloom? I think it's Goldblum. Is it Goldblum? I like Goldblum, though. actor Jeff Goldblum, who you'll know from Jurassic Park. Is it Blum or Bloom? I think it's Goldblum.

Is it Goldblum? I like Goldblum, though. Yeah, Goldblum. Plum? Blum? I don't know. Goldblum. Goldblum. So they are in talks. Just do the Kiwi thing and mumble it.

Yeah, Goldblum. No, there we go. So they're in talks on working, they're working together on a secret project, Jeff has said. So they obviously work together on Thor Ragnarok and they may work together on season two of Star Wars. The Star Wars show, The Mandalorian.

Is that how you say it? Another thing that I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing correctly. But they've got another secret project in the works and obviously there's no details about that, but that's what he has said. And I'm like, yes, more work from Taika. I'm so excited. Yeah, Taika back in the country right now in quarantine

with his two little kids as well. One hotel room, he sent out a very funny Instagram photo with just the room covered in kids' toys everywhere. Is it just him and two children? Two children in a room, yeah. So I think it was that day seven of 14 when he put out the photo. But it seems like he's loving it. Yeah.

I mean, in one room, a small room with two children, that would get old quite quickly. I think you'd want a bit of a break, wouldn't you? Shea, we talked to that guy who was with his kids for three, he said two weeks. He had three children. He turned it like into a daily Olympics thing. That's right.

So they have events like bed jumping. Yeah. They got in the bath and they did like sailing and stuff like that with the shower curtain as the sail and stuff and the water on it. And they went out and did running around in the little quarantine area. That's genius. You'd have to just keep working on things to do with the kids, wouldn't you? I would be sober.

I'd just be like, go to sleep. Watch your iPads or something. Leave me alone. I'm drinking little bottles of whiskey for $40 a bottle. Someone give me some chips. That would be funny. Someone open up those small Pringles that are worth $55. And Michelle Obama, she has her own podcast.

And on a recent podcast episode, she compared, which I thought was quite interesting and quite good advice, she compared marriage to a basketball team and creating one from scratch. Because if you're looking at a team, the people you want to win with, good advice she compared marriage to a basketball team and creating one from scratch because if you're looking at a team the people you want to win with the number one you want everybody on your team to be strong right you don't want any weak links you don't want somebody that you can dominate you don't want somebody who's kind of a loser right and also if you're on a team you've got to be able to do everything it's especially basketball. It's like you would never pick somebody that says, I only dribble.

Right, right. I don't shoot. I don't defend. I just dribble. You know, if we looked at marriage as a real team, then you want LeBron. Yeah, exactly. You don't want the guy third row on the bench who didn't make the team. Isn't that true? Oh, I'm the guy third row on the bench who didn't make the team. Isn't that true?

Oh, I'm the guy third row on the bench who didn't make the team. No, that's you. She's talking about me. No one wants that. The amount of street basketball tournaments me and my family have turned up to and lost. Now I know why. Because I'm not a winner. I can't slam dunk.

Don't sell yourself short. They'd be an interesting family. I imagine very driven and competitive Oh yeah Wouldn't you think so? For the Obamas Yeah Yeah no you're probably right

I couldn't make the cut for the Obamas I wouldn't make the starting lineup You wouldn't be in there No But is she saying that you'll have to have all the skills Or can you compliment that you know Like if you were a dribbler and you were like a shooter Then could you have someone who's a good defensive player

Yeah for example you're got to take out the bins and they might be good at cooking. It works well. As a partner, I see what you're saying, Ben. Like do you all have to be LeBron or could you all be like a little bit of everything? Because that becomes a very expensive team. You can see everyone's on LeBron's salary.

I'm very lost in this analogy now. Yeah, me too now. I thought I had a point, but maybe I don't. Anyway, go to the Lakers today. That's what we're talking about. They've got another NBA game today. That is five things to Old El Paso, and you can launch into mess-free Mexican

with the new Old El Paso Tortilla Pocket. So delicious. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Okay, Jono, we've got the Hits 100 Pop Countdown that's happening this Friday. You're going to tell me your top three favourite songs.

Yeah, now these are mainly, I want to stipulate more for the lyrical content. The enjoyment of the lyrical content. Gotcha. Okay, number one, I'm going to go Backstreet Boys' I Want It That Way. I don't know what they were referencing. They never specified what they were wanting and what way they wanted it. No, but they just said, I want it that way.

Yeah, right. But it was open to interpretation. Yeah. Next one I'm going to vote for, Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby. Okay. Ice, ice, baby. Vanilla Ice, ice, baby. And we have a personal connection to this song, Ben.

Yeah. Because we flew Vanilla Rice to New Zealand. That's right. Didn't we? We hung out with him. And we went to fly in business class. And he kept calling you Jono. Yeah, that's right.

And the worst thing about Vanilla Rice coming to New Zealand and us bringing him was that we had to be side of stage through his concert. And he was like, you guys are going to dance with me? And we're like, oh my god. Yeah, I know. We're not, like if there's two people on the face of the earth who shouldn't be dancing with Vanilla White, yeah. And then

we had to get out there during a song. And I think it was the first time in history where backup dancers did a slow, awkward fade out during the song. We left. By the last verse, we had backed off the stage. Oh yeah, it was too much dancing for us. And my final one is going to be, I don't even remember,

Carly Rae Jepsen, who did Call Me Maybe. Yes. Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe. Hey, I just met you. This is crazy.

But here's my number. Call me maybe. Just handing your number recklessly out to strangers. The stranger dangers, the whole lesson, out the window. Well, she said it was crazy. Yeah, it was wild. G'day, Carly. You handed your number out to me. Well, you're not going to hand your number out like that, though.

What, to someone who goes like this? Hey, crazy lady, I'll take your number. When do you want me to call you? Call you any time of the night I just think it's a reckless social mistake Okay Well there are your top three So I'm going to pick my top five songs

For the top 100 Oh it's five I only got three You said you picked three And old mate comes in Oh well I've come with five Okay It was hard

It was hard to narrow down So I'm going to narrow down To just Kiwi artists Okay I'm going to go Kiwi artists I'm going to narrow down to just Kiwi artists, okay? I'm going to go Kiwi artists. I'm going to start with Benny. Glitter. I mean, for once, there's a person from New Zealand

with Ben in the name that's cool, so well done, Benny. You could trade off that. Yeah. Or I could trade off that and replace you with Benny. John Owen Benny. She's awesome, Benny. So she has to get a spot in there. 660, The Greatest.

I mean, I love it because it's a Kiwi song that talks itself up. The guys are awesome, talks itself up, the greatest. It's not like the okayest, which people would normally have. Yeah, but it really goes against the tall poppy chopper in me. I mean, no one from New Zealand needs to be great. Well, I love it. And as soon as you get too great, I'll cut you back down to size. That's what we do here.

Would you rather, instead of being the greatest, be called, don't get too carried away? Yeah, don't get too cocky, mate. Yeah. Okay, have a blast out there. We'll like you for a bit, but then we'll turn on you. Next song I'm going to pick, Stan Walker, Take It Easy. You gotta take it easy, easy.

Live your life, live your life. Every kind of weather, you and me together, we'll be fine. Stan Walker, love him. We did a TV ad with Stan once. Great for our cred, probably terrible for his. Yeah, it was. It was a, no, I'll tell you what it was good for, my Uber Eats account. Yeah, what true.

You, Ben, we got paid in Uber Eats vouchers. Yeah. And I went to your house. It was wild. It was like Valentine's. It was all sorts of. It was like King Tutankhamen was putting on a feast

for everyone. You're like, order whatever you want. And so you had a dozen people there eating different types of food from around the world, from different restaurants. Sam Walker as well,

he had a great idea if we could promote a concert for him, One Night Stand. Yeah, that's our dream to do that. Next song I'm going to go, I've got to go,

Lord Royals. I mean,'s our dream to do that. Next song I'm going to go, I've got to go Lorde, Royals. I mean, such a big Kiwi song. And also I've got Lorde's tattoo. You know her name? She tattooed on my wrist right next to my kids. Yeah, she's the favourite of all your daughters.

Definitely the most successful. Well, the most successful so far. I mean, the others are quite young, but you know. The others are not going to be bigger and better than the Lord. I don't know. I know. I know. I know.

As a dad, you need to teach your kids this lesson. My kids aren't going to be bigger than the Lord. They don't need to know that. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Ben Boyce, he's a news hound,

shoving his nose in the crotch of topicality. What have we sorted out today for Scrolling Through Your Feed, mate? Well, Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, was on the TV One show Q&A with Jack Tame, and he got all fired up. When he got all fired up, didn't he? He was asked about leaking and fraud investigations on live television.

He thought he'd be on. When you say leaking, leaking documents or information? Yes, not like how many times he's gone to the bathroom. I know he's getting old, but he doesn't need incontinence nappies yet. He thought he was on the show to talk about COVID-19 and the live exports of livestock and they went into a bit of an argument.

So why did you send your friends, Mr. Peters? Why did your friends deserve to go? You can answer my question. If you answer my question, I'll allow you to finish. No, Jamie,

you're not going to be running this program. I am. I'm the person being interviewed here and you've had the Actually, Mr. Peters, I hate to break this to you.

Not to give me an honest briefing whatsoever. Ooh, it sounds like Jack Tame's about to get a telling off from a boomer here. I love how he keeps calling him James, too. Instead of Jack.

It's all well and good to look back at things in retrospect, isn't it? James, don't try and be a Philadelphia lawyer with me. I've been around a long time. What's a Philadelphia lawyer? I love when he just says stuff grumbly, but none of it makes sense some of long time. What's a Philadelphia lawyer? I love when he just says stuff grumpily, but none of it makes sense some of the time. He got really annoyed being on a show called Q&A

that was asked questions and had to provide answers. He's like, this wasn't the brief. I didn't know I was going to be asked questions. And then he wanted me to answer them. So Winston Peters getting really grumpy. And cosmetic surgery in New Zealand is on the rise since COVID-19 and lockdown. And a lot of people are blaming it on Zoom.

And now the fact that you're seeing yourself in the screen for video calls. Oh, for extended periods of the day. Yeah, you'd really start nitpicking. You're like, oh, okay, maybe I'll get this started. So I turn the video off and I'm talking. Yeah, so that's what they reckon because of video calling in New Zealand has been a rise in cosmetic surgery. Remember we were sitting, we were flying to Christchurch

or somewhere and I was sitting next to a lady who had just arrived back from Thailand and she went over there because the surgery is far cheaper than New Zealand, I think sort of a quarter of the price and she went to get an enhancement of her chest. And so she went to this five

storey building in Thailand, had that operation, had that procedure, went down a level and was like, oh, okay, you can get your nose done as well. Got that done. Then she went down further and was like, oh, a little bit of lip filler, then butt filler. And then by the time she'd hit ground floor, full souping. Six months of her life gone.

Full do-over. She couldn't get past the level without walking in and getting some work done. Wow. She looks fantastic though. Whatever makes you happy. What bit do you reckon I need done? What bit? Just a bit.

Maybe just a permanent spray tan or something. A permanent spray tan? Yeah. Being nothing on you, you're flawless. Who, thank you. Couldn't even fault you. That's not true. The only change I made to you is you're too generous.

What's he doing? I don't know. Why is he doing this? It makes me more uncomfortable when you'd be positive rather than negative and I'm like, what's going on here?

And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pockets. Oh, okay.

I see you've sold the segment here, Producer Juliet, to El Paso. I have. Old El Paso. I do love a good Mexican meal. Oh, I do love an Old El Paso. Remember when they threw that kid up in the air and they were so happy with that kid because he invented flat-bottomed tacos. Yeah, yeah. And after 7 o'clock on the show, we actually give you a chance to win a pretty cool prize.

Thanks to El Paso as well. Very exciting. Even in the midst of a pandemic, she knows that it's so important that people get their celebrity news. Thank you. Producer Juliet with Spy. So I don't know if you guys remember very well

but there was a TV show back in the day called Art Attack and there was this guy in that long red t-shirt and he just showed you and kids how to make art and it was just I remember it from There's a new version of it now yeah they've replaced that guy

the guy from back in the day but there's yeah I've watched the new one You know like get toilet rolls macaroni and I don't know tampons or something and glue them together

and make a train couldn't you? Yes exactly and so Neil Buchanan his name is I think he there's a theory and tampons or something, and glue them together and make a train. Yeah. Couldn't you? Exactly. And so Neil Buchanan, his name is, I think, there's a theory that he is in fact Banksy. You know that artist that no one knows who it is, but he does street art and it's really cool? So there's a theory going around that it's him because, I don't know, sources and all that jazz.

But I thought that was quite interesting. Surely the art would give it away. Like if he's doing amazing graffiti art paintings back in the day, you're like, oh, maybe he is Banksy. Yeah, true. Or does he sort of scale it back and not be quite as because Banksy's incredible. Oh, he really is. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that one

they had that was like the shredded the painting shredded. That's right. Someone bought it at an auction. Yeah. That's right. That was unreal. And then it suddenly just had this contraption that it just suddenly shredded. Was it as soon as it was sold? Yeah. And someone went to get it off the frame, it just then shredded.

And that was Banksy's idea all along or something? Yeah, right. Someone had paid a whole lot of money for something that became not. But then I think it kind of backfired in a way because it became more valuable because it actually shredded and became more of a news story. So he's worth $50 million. But somewhere along that point of him getting a financial transaction for his work, he must have to meet someone.

Yeah. So someone must know who he is. Yeah. Yeah. It must be hardcore NDAs signed. Yeah. In the art world. Yeah.

Or else how else does he get paid for his work? Yeah. That's very true. Yeah, right. Someone definitely would know who he was, but they're not saying, yeah. I wonder if he tells his partner. I've been banksy all along. What else have you been hiding from me?

This is quite major. Yeah, true. And Rhianna, she recently had an electric scooter accident and has been photographed with bruises all over her forehead and face. She's healing fine now, but I was thinking like, what is it with celebrities

and falling off electric vehicles? Because Simon Cowell did the same thing. Yeah, mind you, his bike went from zero to 190 kilometres in about three seconds. Yeah, yeah, true.

No one ever looks 100% confident on an e-scooter, do they? No. Because anything can go wrong any second any little bump

on the road any sort of pebble or anything like that you're like everyone just sort of rides them quite wide-eyed quite apprehensive when Lime Scooters

came to town everyone was like oh this is going to and it was it was like people were crashing and all sorts gosh

I say bring them back they were fun Fletch who works next door he rides a, I see him riding an e-scooter every day. Well, you weren't allowed to use them during lockdown. True.

For the spread of germs on the handlebars and things. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. But he's the same. Every morning I see him like 4 or 4.30 in the morning just riding down the road with no, not blinking, just scared. Something's going to happen, I know it.

One day something's going to happen. But Rhianna is recovering fine and it wasn't a huge accident, which is good to hear. And that is Spy. Thanks to Old El Paso, you can launch into Mexican, mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pockets. Very yummy. Delicious.

Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's almost our show for a Monday. And we like to end on this. Feeling good. Feeling good. Why is it going to be a good day for you? We'd love to hear from you and Ben on the Hits. It's almost our show for Monday. And we'd like to end on this. Feeling good. Feeling good. Why is it going to be a good day for you? We'd love to hear from you on 0800 The Hits. Let's get

Monday started right. Yeah, because it's hard on Monday. We struggled six or seven hours this morning. Oh, jeez. Jeez, we were rusty, weren't we? It wasn't our finest bit of radio. No. You know, they compare it to great bits of radio. That's not us, but still for us. I can't even remember six to seven this morning, so I apologise to the Six O'Clock Club

for what was said, what went on. Those were not our thoughts and opinions and certainly not those of the hits or NZME, our parent company. But Ben Boyce,

why is it going to be a good day? I just said, it sounds like we said some dark stuff. It wasn't that bad. I don't think it was that bad. No, no.

Everyone would be like, jeez, what did you guys do? Yeah, well, we've got to get some masks out there today as well to the community, right? Yeah, that's right. Thanks to kindface.co.nz have released a special limited edition run of Ashley Bloomfield masks. So every caller who gets through right now on 0800 with a hit will win one of these. Carl, you're on the air, buddy. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

How we doing, team? Yeah, good one. It's going to be a good one, mate. It's good. Tomorrow we're off the air, buddy. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How we doing, team? Yeah, good. Why's it going to be a good one, mate? It's because tomorrow we're off to Queenstown. We'll need to go in May from Nelson here, but yeah, that was a bit of a no-goer. Oh, well, nice.

It'd be nice to be there. Producer Humphrey was there over the weekend. It looked amazing. Tomorrow we're off. Oh, Carl, you go and stimulate that Queenstown economy and you can wear your Ashley Bloomfield mask, okay? Usually the only person on Ashley's face is his wife when he kisses her goodnight. Stay away from Queenstown, we'll be all right.

Good on you, Carl. You have a great day and safe travels. Thanks very much. Let's go to Tian and Tua, Carl. Welcome to the show, Tian. Why's it going to be a good day for you? I just came back from Ruapehu, and it's Monday, and I don't have to go to work.

Yeah. No Monday blues. And a good start. You've got an Ashley Bloomfield mask, baby. Cheers, mate. That's all good. Thank you. Thank you.

All right. Do you want to try and take one more? We'll squeeze one more in. We'll go to Debbie. Debbie, be quick. Why's it going to be a good day, Debbie? Oh, she's gone. Oh, no.

Vanessa, Vanessa, be quick. There's no time for that. No time. Oh, God. She's go to Debbie. Debbie, be quick. Why is it going to be a good day, Debbie? Oh, she's gone. Oh, no. Vanessa, Vanessa, be quick. There's no time for that. No time. Oh, God. She's got to go. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.

Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.