Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - September 15 - The Referendumb, Ben's Mum Is A Hoarder, What Have You Done In The Shower?

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

Today we delved into the life of Ben's mum and how she is a massive hoarder. You name it, she probably hoards it. (She even hoards cake crumbs... no clue why). We also wanted to know about your special set of skills. Jono's Dad can swat flies with his own bare hands. And listener Jules brought something INCREDIBLE to the table! Finally, Jono spent a few minutes breaking down the lyrics of the Pina Colada song and we figured out its true meaning. Enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast on a Tuesday. You know, one thing I've noticed since starting this job here at The Hits

is how long you seem to wait to use the bathroom. Oh yeah, you can really your bladder is well trained and when you do release it you need to do it within either a 3 minute 30 pink song or a 2 minute commercial break. I mean that takes a lot of skill in it. Skill is not recognised

by the industry publicly but I think it should be and now is the time. I guess it's not good for you but I find every day that you go, oh jeez, I've been holding on since six. You know, it's not good. Right now,

I currently need to go and I'm like, oh, I've just got this podcast intro to do and then, you know. That's the commitment your bladder is showing

to this podcast. Yeah. I mean, we could get, well, we might as well just keep this intro going to see how far

we can actually push it before the banks of the Waikato River explode in the studio. Auckland's water shortage, well... It'll be solved if we just keep talking for another six minutes. Hey, exciting show coming up this morning. We played our favourite game, the News Jargon game,

where we try and insert news jargon into everyday conversation with people. There's just a small cluster of us that want to come down and have a meal. Tomorrow? Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Can we lock down a time around about 11 o'clock in the morning? Can you put under my name Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? So that was the COVID-19 special. Yes, today is the election special. I want to see how many of the political parties are here in New Zealand. You can get into a phone conversation. Also, our Kiwi referendum continues on. Hell of a battle this morning.

Slice of Heaven, Dave Dobbin, the anthem, the unofficial anthem of New Zealand, taking on Kiwi Onion Dip. Who will advance through to the finals? Does anyone care? I don't know, but we're persisting with it. Enjoy that and more on the podcast. Go and have a PB.

The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. My mum, Jenny. Love Jenny and more on the podcast. Go and have a pee, Ben. The Songy Cornflakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. My mum Jenny. Love Jenny Boyce. Wonderful lady. I was talking about her in the past. She's a bit of a hoarder. Loves to, you know, loves to keep things. Doesn't like to throw anything out, except for me when I was like 18. But apart from that, she keeps everything else. Did she kick you out when you were 18? No, well, no.

It was time for me to move on, mate. That's what she said. You know what I like about Jenny too is her loyal, positive comments on social media videos. Yeah, she does love positive comments. She's like, that's my boy. Proud of you, Benny. Like under the comments. Yeah, I know.

She really loves it. But she's got a house just full of stuff. Just clutter. Just keeps things. Yeah, you've spoken about this before. I have. You know, some of the things that she likes to keep. Let's go through them, you know, just for

old time's sake. There's silica gels. You know how you buy food and you buy shoes and it comes with those little sachets that clearly just say throw out, discard. She keeps them. She keeps them in a little container. Well, you never know when you need hordes and hordes of silica gel, do you? Why does she keep that?

There's bread tags, there's things for bread tags. Silica gel takes away moisture Doesn't it? If you have enough of them They could act as a giant dehumidifier Put them in a plastic bag Put them in the lounge Tiny fish

We talked about this From sushi You know the little fishes She puts a little mouthwash in them now She reuses those things What does she do with the bread tags? Just go back to the bread tags What's she doing with those?

I don't know what she's doing She's got a little container for those Because people use them for jandals Don't they? You know When your jandal breaks you can put them on the end of that.

But the bullies at school could flick them at you in the back of your neck. Oh, did they? You could do that. You could use them as little, you know,

I've got a lot of those in the back of my neck. Oh, really? Yeah. There's a different colour coding system too apparently for those on what day the breed is.

That's what colour they are. On the breed tags? Yeah. To do with what day, yeah, the different colours that they are. I learnt the other day. Who do with what day, yeah, the different colours that they are. I learnt the other day. Who knew that?

Yeah, well, you did it, it turns out. And you just told us. That's why Jenny will be commenting positively on this video. That's my boy.

That's my boy. Proud of you, Benny. Cake crumbs, another thing my mum loves to keep. Crumbs from leftover cake in a container. When is she,

does she have them by the spoonful? I don't know. I don't know. I think one day she hopes to make a full cake from the crumbs. So she keeps them. She'll get there one day. But my sister, maybe she's going to have a silica gel and cake, crumb cake.

Mum, when you go, I'm just going to throw all this stuff. I'm going to give it all. Because she comes to your house and brings all of your stuff. Just more clutter. Just clutters up stuff. From your childhood. And then you're like, well, I'm going to throw it out. She's like, oh, no, you can't throw it out.

So then she takes it back to her house yeah my sister I was talking to her yesterday because she lives up near my mum up north and she's saying

mum now keeps her freezer full of broth so she'll make a chicken or you know make a fish and she'll keep

the leftover juices the broth so the freezer is just full of chicken broth fish broth but this is the generation

they just save everything like oh we'll use the fat leftover over from the steak. We can turn that into a birthday cake or something. With the cake crumbs. They just don't throw out that audience. So you were raised on broth.

Yeah, well, you're Jenny's boy. Now the broth is all through there. So that's because you were always like, oh, I'm off to my favourite restaurant, The Brothel. So imagining that's what they're specialising in. Here we go, The Brothel. Every Friday he's like, I'm off to The the brothel. So imagining that's what they're specialising in. Here we go, the brothel. Every Friday he's like, I'm off to the brothel. And I'm like, oh, he's obviously a big fan of chicken broth

and beef brothel. And I was wondering where he got it from. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense now. From my mum. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Want to know what your special set of skills are?

I was just talking during the Ash Thomas' news there that my dad, John Pryor, catches flies. Fly Ranger with his bare hands. Yeah, this is quite incredible. Yeah, he's perfected the art over a number of years and he wants to hand down the skills to me on his deathbed one day. He'll tell me the secret. No, he's actually already told me the secret.

Right, so what is the secret? Basically, a fly, if it's me the secret. No, he's actually already told me the secret. Right. So what is the secret? Basically, a fly, if it's on the table or bench or chair or whatever, you clap above the fly. And the fly, when it feels wind coming towards it, will always fly up.

Oh, so fly up. So the wind, yeah, then it'll just go bang and you hit it directly. Then I'll be like, you just like squished a fly in your hands. That would be the worst thing for me. Oh, he's like a human can of rain. I'd be like, you just squished a fly in your hands. That would be the worst thing for me. Oh, he's like a human can of rage. You'd be like, you know,

then you're walking around with a scummy fly. Oh, well, thankfully they invented hand washing, which has been quite useful over a number of years. In particular now. I'd have to avoid mashing a fly together in my hands and washing them, and then I would. He's got very quick reactions for a retired guy. He's like a cat jacked up on coffee. He's ready to catch a fly together with my hands and washing them than I would. He's got very quick reactions for a retired guy. He's like a cat jacked up on coffee.

He's ready to catch a fly. He can do it with one hand too. Really? Yeah. He's got skills he's acquired over a number of years that make him a nightmare for flies mainly. Like a Liam Neeson for flies. So what are your special set of skills?

Yeah, what have you got? What's something that you can do like John Pryor like your dad that you can catch flies I've got no real skills let's be honest I'm not bad at

towel whipping you know towel whipping oh yes hey you can wind up your towel and I went to an all boys school

school bully in the 80s or something yeah so I'm great you know great set of skills like you say Ben as a dated school bully in the 80s or something, yeah. Phil's a school bully. So I'm great, you know, great set of skills, like you say, Ben, as a dated school bully. Everyone's like, oh, my God, is a grown man still whipping butts with a towel?

Yeah, guys. I do it in the changing rooms here after the show, don't I? Yeah, you do. We always go for the post-show shower. We like this at the showers. At the showers, guys. Stop it, stop it. Great show today, mate.

Great show today. We talked over each other with that fly air drill. Yeah, just a towel. That's my only skill. That's all I can do. All right. So surely we can do better than towel whipping. What is your skill?

I would love to hear from you this morning. Let's go to Kaia Poi. Jules Moreno, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Your special set of skills, what is it? Me? Yeah. Yeah, me all right. I feel like you're surprised you're on the phone.

I can do a car alarm noise. Oh, this is a special set of skills. Yeah. Take it away then, Jules. Yeah, go for it. Oh, God, do it again. That's awesome. That is just made my day. I'm alive. We're going to fight something for you. That's amazing. What wrong turns did you take in your life where you ended up learning how to do a car alarm noise, Jules? It was just one drunken, stumbling night that

we decided to do it. I don't know. I think it also came from, I'm Australian, sorry, there was a thing called Hey Hey It's Saturday. And I had a little talent show thing and one of the guys did that and I thought, oh, give it a go. And then every time I went out drinking, I'd hide behind a mate's car and do it and you'd start losing his mind. Can you take us out with one more? It brings me to my happy place, Jules.

Okay, hi. I'm... I'm so glad we're going to see you on Sunday. That's so awesome. I love how Jules is watching on TV. Like, oh, that seems achievable. I can do that. I can do that.

Someone's just texted saying, my wife has a special Set of skills, remembering everything I've ever said over 10 years of marriage And bringing those up at pivotal Points in conversations Kate's on the phone, welcome Kate Your special set of skills, what is it?

Hi, so I'm really good at handstands Always have been I'm 35 now and I can Do a little lap in the handstand. Oh, you can even walk. You were trying to learn that for a while, weren't you, Jono? Yeah, I wanted a party trick because a friend of mine, Hamish, can do it. And I was like, oh, that's cool.

You always want something that you can do and impress people with. And I tried to commit to it for a little while. I mean, I can give it a go now. Do it. If you want. If you want. Kate wants me too. She's great for radio. Do it. Okay, want. Kate wants me too. Do it.

Okay, so Jono, here we go. He's about to do a handstand and he's got two... You look like a wishbone from a chicken, you know? The legs are way... I'm sorry, my gymnastics teacher. My form's a little off.

I've seen the Olympics I don't know what the bar's like I wasn't impressed And that was not That was not above the bar Well listen Kate I haven't impressed Ben But next time we see you

Hopefully you can When you walk around on your hands Yeah I'm sure you'll see me Love your work mate Thank you very much for listening Serving bowls of lols for breakfast Actual lols may not be served It's Jono and Ben

on the heads. So Annie and Jon, my parents from Christchurch staying with us at the moment. It's always lovely to see your parents, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're having a lot of fun. But my dad, his... Are you having a lot of fun? Yeah, no, it's good. Well, he just comes up and does stuff. Right. Like the house just,

it falls to pieces over a six to 12 month period then he comes and judges it up. He does jobs and stuff. He loves that. He loves it. He loves it. He's a jobs guy.

Yeah. He's a jobs guy, but he's also like, he likes playing his favourite songs when he's having a drink at the end of the day. Oh, nice. He deserves it. He's been out doing all your jobs, all the stuff you're too lazy to do. I'm a terrible employer, but he sits down at the end of the day and he has a drink and he listens, like he's got three favourite songs.

He loves Bye Bye American Pie. Bye Bye Miss American Pie. And he loves Sitting on a Duck in the Bay. Yeah, yeah. And then he also loves the Pina Colada song. Oh, yeah. Do you love Pina Colada? Those are his three songs and I keep telling him, you know, music's advanced.

Oh, there's so many songs. They're great songs, but there's lots of songs. Artists have recorded new music that you can listen to and enjoy as well. He's like, I've got three favourite songs and I listen to those three songs over and over and over. And so last night, he starts playing

the Pina Colada song. Right. This is a fun song. But I can't help but think, when you go through the song, that if technology and smartphones were a thing, that it really would have song. But I can't help but think when you go through the song that if technology and smartphones were a thing that it really would have sped up this

whole process. So the guy starts by saying, I was tired of my lady. He's a bit sick of his missus. We've been together too long. It's becoming a ball ache. I never really paid close attention to the, I was tired of my lady. You shouldn't be singing about this.

No, don't record it. She'll end up hearing this. You know, you shouldn't be singing about it. Unless she's tired with you two, and I mean, it's a mutual thing. Sometimes adults grow apart. Yeah, that's true. It happens. He's put a stake in the ground.

So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed. So he's reading the paper in bed. And in the personal columns... He's flicking through the classifieds. Someone had written in the classifieds. This is in the ad. So he's reading the paper and he's like, I like pina coladas. So this is kind of like, I guess, Tinder back in the day, right?

The equivalent now would be flicking through Tinder and go, oh, I like pina coladas and get caught in the rain. Yeah, correct. But then so he's had to read the ad and he's like, oh, okay, right the equivalent now would be flicking through Tinder and go oh I like pediculadas and get caught in the rain that would you know correct but then so he's had to read the ad and he's like oh okay this is a board of the lady lying next to me

this is sparking my interest which is an inconvenient time I'm like a six to nine so he has to write back it and pay for it out. It was a long play. So then he's like, we'll meet at this bar. Called O'Malley's.

Right. So he's like, this lady in the paper, we'll meet up and we'll have a liaison. But here's where the twist comes in. Okay. So then the lady walks in the place. He recognises the smile. It was his missus, the one who was sleeping. No!

I'm looking at the socks every time. I've never paid attention. She was unhappy. She was writing in and then they have a laugh. And they're like, oh, we both tried to cheat on each other. And now we love Peter Galardas. What a coincidence. Oh, what a...

I can't help but feel if smartphones were around, this could have all been avoided. This wouldn't even be a song. So they've rekindled their relationship. Yes, but now they're drinking pina coladas. Oh, they're loving it. They're up till midnight very late making love. Oh, yeah.

And having a wonderful time. Getting caught in the rain. So it's a happy ending. You're right, a song that was brilliant. It took it. Seems like a lot of admin just to drink pina coladas with someone who's not your partner. Eggs for breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now Ben, a topical story has come across my desk. Yeah? Sound very grand when I say across my desk, don't I? I don't have a desk. I don't have a desk. I've been completely lying. It's a facade. But it's about what people, unusual things people do in the shower.

Now, I've got the list of the top five unusual things that people do in the shower, but I want to play a little game. So 0800 the hits. You tell us what things, apart from showering, you have done or do in the shower, and I'll see if we can tick off the top five lists.

A lot of talk about showers in the news recently. Obviously, Auckland having a bit of a water shortage. Donald Trump for some reason is really big on showerhead pressure. Have a listen. So showerheads, you take a shower the water doesn't come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesn't come out. So what do you do?

You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair, I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect. The water doesn't come out. He's got more important things to worry about than shower head pressure, but okay.

This was in the midst of a lot of stuff going down in America. Okay, I'm going to tell you something that I do in the shower. Is this one of the five? No, it's not one of the five,

but this is an unusual thing that I do in the shower. Sometimes... Washer hair? Oh, it's always one of the five. But this is an unusual thing that I do in the shower. Sometimes... Wash your hair? Oh, it's always back to the bald stuff. How does this relate back to bald stuff? I don't know. I was just saying, because your hair needs to be perfect.

You know how the glass window steams up? Yeah. Every few months, I just like to push my cheeks against the steamed glass just to see if they're even. Oh, okay. Have you ever done that? Oh, come on. Everyone pushes their cheeks against the... No, I've not written stuff

where you play like that. Yeah, you write stuff. But have you ever done that? No. Do that and see if they're even. Okay, I do that. It's a game you like to play because you need to apply equal amounts of pressure on both cheeks to the window. Is it cold? No, no, no. I'll do it on the inside of the shower. Yeah, it's all steamed up.

We'll head to Kaitaia. Josh, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What are you doing in the shower? Morning, boys. How are you going? We're doing well. Thank you, Josh.

Oh, that's good. I actually came up the other night on the beers with the mates, and they were all having a good laugh with me. But I've never actually stood up in the shower. I always get in there, and I just sit down, chill out, wash myself. Sitting down is one of them. Sitting down is one of them. Some people even go to the lengths to get an outside plastic chair.

Oh, yes. So you literally can sit there and relax. Is that what you do, Josh? You just sit on the floor? Yeah, I just sit on the floor. I'm hygienic, really. Bit of explaining to do if anyone walks in

in that situation. Are you all right, mate? Yeah, I'm just having a little rest. No one's ever happy sitting on the floor of a shower, are they? Oh, Josh, we're going to flick you out

one of our face masks. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. Appreciate your call, buddy. Awesome, thanks, guys. There we go. So we've knocked off napping. We've knocked off sitting in the showers.

I've washed clothes when you're travelling overseas. That's another one. I've in the showers. I've washed clothes when you're travelling overseas. That's another one. Underwear and socks and stuff like that when you're travelling for long distances. You wash your clothes, put them up, you hang them up in there. Some people just stand in their clothes and wash their clothes while they're wearing them. Okay, no, I haven't done that. Yeah, but that's another one.

That's three of the five. Emily's on the phone from Hamilton. Morena, Emily, what do you do in the shower? Well, it's not me, It's my uncle, and it's pretty weird, but he does his dishes in the shower to save water. Boom. That's number four. Oh, really? Yeah. Is it? Well, if you break

a plate, too, it seems... Yes. Very dangerous in situations. Yeah, but washing your dishes while washing yourself. Okay. You can see how that could save water in the long run. I guess so. Emily, thank you for your call. Flicky out a face mask. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. The final thing, John, and we need one more.

What is it? The final thing is eating breakfast in the shower. Oh, really? Soggy toast. Okay. Soggy environment. Doesn't seem like the great, but I guess you've got to multitask in the mornings. You've got to do things quickly.

Listen, that probably seems like a straighter version of Juliette using her phone in the shower. Yeah, there was one other thing that we've tiptoed around. We got a call the other day from someone who did her phone in the shower. Yeah, there was one other thing that we've tiptoed around and we got a call the other day from someone who did this thing in the shower. Have a listen. Well, basically, me and my wife were saving water and having a shower. Well, there's a water

shortage at the moment, so good on you. Yes, and things got a little bit out of hand and I put my back through the back of the shower wall. It was those old fly-global-like showers. I know, they're like the white bumpy ones. Yeah, mate, and

I sort of got stuck in there, which is quite funny. I think it might have been to do with the purchase. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. The Kiwi Referendum.

We are putting the most iconic New Zealand things head to head. So we wanted to give you guys something to vote on because we're meant to be voting in the general election this Saturday. So we're doing a Kiwi referendum. What is the best bit of Kiwiana? Oh, and today, that's really, I mean, every day we go, I don't know how we're going to pick a winner here, but this is going to be a tough one. Dave Dobbin

taking on a classic dip. The original Kiwi Dip. Versus Slicer Heaven. Onion Dip Slicer. Now, I tell you what, I love Onion Dip. If I could bathe in a bathtub of Onion Dip

every day for the rest of my life, I would. I would smell horrific thanks to the reduced cream seeping into my pores, but I would take that risk. I do love me an onion dip. Yeah, but you do love Sliced Heaven as well, too. I know. Ironically, it feels like heaven has exploded in your mouth when you eat onion dip. Yesterday, though, was another big battle. We had Jandals taking on Buzzy Bee,

and we even spoke to a lady, Leanne, who had a Buzzy Bee tattoo. You have an affiliation with the Buzzy Bee. I certainly do. I have it tattooed on my hip. Oh, that's cool. And on my hip so no one sees it unless I want them to.

Oh. If you play your cards right, Leanne. But then we had to break the news to Leanne that Buzzy Bee didn't make it through. Got beaten up by Jandals, right? Yes, right, Leanne. But then we had to break the news to Leanne that Buzzy B didn't make it through. Got beaten out by Jandles, right? Yes, yeah, I did. And online, overnight, what happened, Juliette? Jandles did win.

Wait, is that what you're asking? No, I just wondered, was it a convincing win? Let me actually just check these stats. Have a look on the polls, because we do chuck them up on social media after the show. We do. I know on the text machine, Jandals are winning by about 65% all through yesterday's show.

But Onion Dip and Slice of Heaven, what foot are you going to go in, Ben? What camp? I can't go past Kiwi Onion Dip. I just can't. What could you do with that? I think we're going to end up with either... It could be an Onion Dip Jandals final, couldn't it?

Yeah, and on the text votes online, sorry, on the Instagram poll so far, 76% with Kiwi Onion Dip so far. Slice of Heaven at 24%. But there's still time left. This is our semi-finals. Okay. Semi-final time.

Yeah, was it a convincing win for the Jandals yesterday? 63% Jandals. 63%? Right. You know. I think Jandals yesterday? 63% Jandals. 63% right. I think Jandals are going to have to buy a ticket into the final, but will Onion Dip triumph over Slice of Heaven? We can get voting after 7 o'clock this morning. We'll tell you how.

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is the A to Z of New Zealand, where we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're making our way all around New Zealand, where we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're making our way all around New Zealand. Yeah, we're in the Gs. Glen Massey, a place you might not have heard of,

but we discovered was a little part of Ngaruahia, an old mining town, and nowadays not much there, apparently. And so would you suggest we come to Glen Massey? I can't think of why you'd want to. Hey, I want to pat a sheep. Really? Yeah. That's probably the place.

Yeah, the place for you, Glen Massey. There we go. So today, where are we heading to? We're heading to Glenorchy, which is a small settlement, about 45 minutes or so just out of Queenstown. Beautiful place. This is the kind of place that when you see shots on an Air New Zealand video, when you fly into New Zealand and they're like,

welcome to Aotearoa, they'll use shots of this place. It's the most picturesque part of New Zealand behind Benjamin Boyce's beautiful blue eyes. I could look into those. What colour are they? Sorry, my eyesight's failing me. Your eyes aren't working. They're beautiful regardless.

Whatever colour your eyes are, I love them, and I could stare in them all day long. We actually got dumped near Glen Orkey, didn't we? For a Heineken commercial. Yeah. All we had to survive on was beer. And, jeez, I tell you, it was a long trip and some honest conversation. About 12 years in.

We were in a hotel. We thought we were doing something else, and we got knocked on the door in the morning and then in our pyjamas, we got put in a helicopter and then handcuffed in the middle of nowhere. We had to work our way. God, I was cold

because I had boxer shorts on and a t-shirt. That's right, yeah. In the deep south. Usually you pay top dollar to be handcuffed in a hotel room, wouldn't you? Yeah, boxer shorts. All right, let's head through to Glenorchy. Now we're going to go through to the animal farm.

Good morning, Glenorchy Animal Experience. Hello, Glenorchy Animal Experience. It's Jono and Ben here from the Hits radio station. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? Did I hear a duck quacking as you answered the phone? Was it a duck? That's part of the animal experience, I think.

You get ducks answering the phone as well. Listen, we are phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day. Glenorchy is next on the list. Glenorchy's an amazing place. It's like living in a postcard. There's lots of lovely people. Lots of great things to do.

Now you, at the Glenorchy animal experience. What sort of animals can we experience there? All sorts of animals lots of lovely friendly animals sheep, alpacas, llamas, deers, pigs, ducks. I'm looking at your website you've got a photo of I think that's a llama

that is the coolest looking llama. It does look cool it looks like it's got its hair swept to the side. I think you might be looking at a photo of an alpaca. Oh, there we go. Sorry. It was one of the two.

What is the difference between a llama and an alpaca? There's a big size difference, attitude difference, and what they're used for in nature is very different as well. Oh, well, he's looking at the alpaca. He looks like he's got an attitude on him, and he's staring the camera dead in the eyes. I'm sure it's a look of love. Can I ride an alpaca, he looks like he's got an attitude on him and he's staring the camera dead in the eyes. I'm sure it's a look of love. Can I ride an alpaca?

No, you don't ride alpacas. Oh, they're not rideable. No. Oh, okay, sorry. They look rideable. No, no, no, they're not rideable. What about feeding them? I imagine you'd be giving all sorts to all sorts.

Feeding wise, wouldn't you? Yes, of course I do. Thank you? Yes, you can do. Thank you for that vague questioning, Ben. What's the most unusual thing that one of the animals eats? You're like, oh, okay, the horses like apples, for example. Oh, well, they like anything. I think you'll find pigs are the most interesting animals when it comes to eating things because they just about eat anything.

I heard if you're a farmer and you're in the pig pen, they'll start nibbling away at you. Have you ever had a, I know the llamas and the alpacas, they love a spit, don't they? They'll spit in your face. So they're all capable because they're all that camel family, but you'll find llamas are more inclined to spit. Have you

been spat in the face before by a alpaca or a llama? Yes. You have? Oh, I imagine that would be like, oh, really? Do you need to do that? Well, it's because it's not saliva. It's stomach contents, they regurgitate.

Oh, even better. Even better. Well, it's good that now we know that. It's a very special experience. Acidic stomach lining all over your face. Okay. The Glen Orkey Animal Experience, it says good for kids. That's the only review on the internet.

No, there's lots more than that. No, it just says good for kids. Oh, it's good for kids, right? There's lots of reviews on the internet, depends where you're looking. Oh, okay. It's good for everybody, especially if you love animals. There's lots of beautiful scenery.

It looks out over paradise and looks over the mountains. Oh, okay. It's good for everybody, especially if you love animals. There's lots of beautiful scenery. It looks out over paradise and looks over the mountains. It's very beautiful out here. Do you know, Ben and myself, we actually spent a bit of time on the Dark River near Glenorchy. Doing what? Oh, we were filming. It was a Heineken commercial.

It was, actually, yeah. Oh, right. And we were dropped in the middle of nowhere by a helicopter, and it was like you weren't in reality. It's a beautiful part of New Zealand and the world, right? Yeah, oh, it's incredible. Yeah, it's an absolutely beautiful place. You know, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings was filmed out here. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, it's Lord of the Rings land, yeah. So the paddocks and Wolverine and all those sorts of places, so you can kind of go and see where they've been filmed as well. I'd love to talk to you. We've covered a range of topics here. Right, who would have thought? You go and look after yourself. Yeah, you guys too.

I look forward to meeting you when you come on down. That sounds good. Bye-bye. What a lovely lady. The A to Z of New Zealand will continue again tomorrow as we slowly make our way around all of New Zealand. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

Spy. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket. It has been voted the most professional celebrity news bulletin in the world. TMZ.com's a fantastic website. However, for the most least professional, here's Juliet with Spy. Thank you so much. So Taylor Swift has sent Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom a little blankie, a hand-embroidered blankie for their newborn daughter, Daisy Dove. Katy posted on Instagram being like, oh, how sweet.

Like, hope it's one that she can take into her teenage years to the point where it gets so unrecognised. You know how kids always have those really rat-like... Oh, you end up sucking on the blanket. Ben Boyce had a little negligee, didn't you? A lady's petticoat. It was my nana's old petticoat. Do you still have that?

I do. It's in, yeah, all mum's got to me. He still wears it to this day. He's got to easily take it to bed when no one's looking. You brought it in to... We had it in here at work. Yeah, because my mum brought it over.

I brought it down and gave it to my wife, Amanda, to give to me, and then she gave it to Jono, Stitch Up. It's a lacy little number, isn't it? It is lacy. You're a saucy little boy. I just like the feel of it. It was the feeling petticoat.

Yeah. And you do, you do, I had a sheepskin rug and it had a certain odour and it was probably just the smell of a rotting sheepskin but I really liked that, you know. And kids have those

and then they get smaller and smaller and they break down until they're just like a little, like a square bit of sheepskin rug they've got. Yeah, yeah. Although you're saying that maybe their rift has been mended, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. But I just want you to factor in Taylor Swift is worth $360 million and she gives them a blanket.

She still hates Katy Perry. She still, it's fact. That's a good point. But then if she really hated Katy Perry, she would give her a really loud toy, you know? Like a set of drums or something. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that what parents do to each other

if they don't like each other? The one present that we get people when they've had a baby and you give it to them and people are like, hey, thanks. It's a plastic seat. It's a little plastic seat that you put in the bath and the babies can just sit in there while you go out and have a cigarette or whatever you need to do.

But we always get texts and calls about six months after we've gifted it going, oh, that seat, it's a game changer. Because they sit there in position. Obviously, you've still got to keep an eye on them, but they don't, yeah, because you're all worried you don't have to have your hand behind them the whole time while you wash them and stuff. Yeah, oh, you still kept an eye on them. Oh, good on you, Ben, you're a better parent

than I am. That's what you're meant to do, right? No, but every minute counts, doesn't it, when you're at that age, when you're looking after babies, so any time to yourself, plump them in a seat and be happy with it. Very true, and Paris Hilton, she's got a new documentary coming out, and she's had to remind fans, because Paris Hilton,

when you think of Paris Hilton, you think of Paris Hilton you think of sort of blonde a little bit ditzy, but that's all a persona. She put on that sort of baby voice and this is what she had to say about it. Well this entire time I have been playing a character so the world has never really truly known who I am.

The real me is actually someone who is brilliant and I'm not a dumb blonde. I'm just really good at pretending to be one. I'm not really good at pretending to be a dumb, bald idiot as well. I've assumed that role beautifully. So what are you like in real life then, if you're pretending to be a... Oh, no, I've gone method with this character.

Oh, okay. Yeah, so what you see is what you get. One day I'll drop character. Yeah, all right. Daniel Day-Lewis sort of thing. Hey, well, good on get. One day I'll drop character. Daniel Day-Lewis sort of thing. Hey, well, good on her. You know, it's easy to mock these people. God damn it, Ben Boyce, we've made a career out of it.

But they've done well for themselves. Oh, she's done really well for herself. Absolutely. That was a smart play. If that's what she did, that was a super smart play. I mean, it got her to where she is, you know. She's like, I've got this voice that I put on, but she still had the same voice to my ears. Oh, do you think it was quite different?

I wouldn't have thought that was Paris Hilton. No, we'll play them back to back. We should get the, you know. Yeah, we'll line them up next. Okay, we'll try to find original audio. That is Spy, thanks to Old El Paso. They've got new tortilla pockets so you can launch into some mess-free Mexican food. New Zealand's breakfast.

Just don't eat them, they're chewy. It's Jono and Beryl the Hits. The Kiwi Referendum. So it was meant to be the general election on Saturday. It's now postponed, so we thought we'd give you guys something to vote on. We're looking for the most iconic Kiwi thing, and today it's semi-finals time. Kiwi Onion Dip. The original Kiwi Dip.

Slalabraker. Versus Slice of Heaven. Slice of Heaven. I tell you what, onion dip is my favourite white sludgy substance behind PVA glue. I like that as I tried dipping chips into PVA glue. Very sticky. Very, very sticky. Who's going through to the big final? That's how we're happening this week.

We want to find the most iconic bit of Kiwiana. And we hit the streets to ask the people. This is what their thoughts were. Well, obviously it's Kiwi onion dip. It's in the name to ask the people why this is what their thoughts were. Well, obviously it's Kiwi Onion Dip. It's in the name. Oh, like the song? Dang it. I think Slice of Heaven.

It's just a banger. I'd have to go Slice of Heaven. Iconic Kiwi tune that Foot Royal Flats was on originally, wasn't it? Slice of Heaven. Kiwi Onion Dip. Slice of Heaven. Love Dave Dobbin.

Slice of Heaven. Kiwi Onion Dip. It's a classic of every barbecue, every get-together. You need it. Kiwi Onion Dip. It's a classic of every barbecue, every get-together. You need it. Kiwi onion dip. Summer. It represents summer in New Zealand.

Slice of heaven. The dip for sure. I'm going to say kiwi onion dip. Oh, kiwi onion dip, 100%. Because it's so good. Because you can eat it with chips, you can eat it with carrots, you can eat it by itself, you can have it with whatever. Slice of heaven.

It's quintessentially kiwi. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi of heaven. It's quintessentially Kiwi. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi onion dip. It's a classic. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi onion dip. Kiwi onion dip.

Well, quite mixed, you know. Do you know, Aussie Alan, who actually works out in the office from Australia, hates Kiwi onion dip, detests it, thinks it's the worst thing he's ever tasted. Don't worry, I told him we hate koalas. There's revenge on the Australians. That's right. He was like, everyone built it up for him thing he's ever tasted. Don't worry, I told him we hate koalas as revenge on the Australians. That's right, he was like, everyone built it up for him when he came to New Zealand.

Like, oh, you've got to try this. And he tried it, he's like, I don't like it. And everyone's like, what? What? That's right, we all went, what? What? For about three days, ain't you? What?

The whole time. Mind you, onions are a very unsexy vegetable, isn't it? Out of all the vegetables. Yeah, it shouldn't work. No. Yeah, it shouldn't work. No, honestly, it shouldn't work. You've got onion soup mix. There's a flavour confusion there. But it does.

It works well. So you need to get your votes in 4487. What is going to advance through to the final? Is it going to be Kiwi Onion Dip or Dave Dobbins' Slice of Heaven? Him feet herbs. Yeah. The choice is yours, Aotearoa. The final will be on Friday on The Hits.

Morning. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits. Politicians all over the country right now for the political parties. They're campaigning. Yeah, they're working hard. Yeah, but I saw Jacinda, Prime Minister's in Dunedin this morning. She was on Breakfast TV doing a live cross in the Octagon, and I was like, whew, this is ripe for a classic nudie run

or something behind her, you know? Oh, right. Yeah, she was out in the open public. I was like, this is Dunners to risky burn a couch or something. Something happening in the background, and I'm proud of Dunedin that nothing did happen. Well done. Because she announced the levels from Dunners yesterday, didn't she?

That's right. Things are going to pretty much stay the same for another week. 2.5 in Auckland, level two for the rest of the country. But you don't have to physical distance anymore on public transport. Just have to wear masks. So Jetstar's back, baby. Woo! It's back.

It's been waiting. You know, Aucklanders already were embarrassed to say they were from Auckland when they left the city. Now they're even more like, where are you from? Thames. Thames, oh yeah? What's Thames like at this time of year? Oh, it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because

my wife Amanda used to give me grief about that because I'd just go, oh, originally from Aston. You know that one? I'm in Auckland, but originally from Aston. She's like, you've been in Auckland for how many years? You're like, yeah, originally from Aston. Where do you live? Oh, originally from Aston. That's what she'd always give me grief about. She's like, you've been in Auckland like 15 years.

Originally from Aston is not a place, so where do you currently reside? Originally from Astrid and it's not a place. So yes, it is election time and they're out there. They're campaigning, aren't they, these politicians? All the political parties. You've got the Greens, you've got National, you've got Labour, all the political parties.

And so what I want you to do, John, I've got some signs of every party. Well, a few parties that I think you'll get through. Including the Conservative Party. I saw the guy from the Conservative Party on his sign. He's in his photo in a polar fleece. I was like, oh, okay, we're in a polar fleece. It was cold. It was cold on the photo shoot.

Everyone else is in suits. He's like, I'll go this polar fleece thing. So, I mean, there is a lot of parties, but I've got a few of them here in signs, and I want you to make a booking for a cafe, you know, maybe in the weekend, and I want to see how many of these you can get through in this phone call. Okay? You'll hear a ding every time you get one

of the political parties into the conversation. Hello, I'm in Aki Cafe. Kia ora. Hi. Kia ora. It's Maori Language Week so I just thought I'd say Kia ora, how are you going? Good Now are you in New Zealand?

Yes First I just want to get to your menu Our menu? Yeah, what have you got? Just don't labour on it for too long We got So we're only doing our lunch menu at the moment So we've got Caesar, burrito salad bowls,

salted pepper squid wraps, toasted sandwiches. Ooh, gee whiz. And are you just located in the north or you're national? You're all over the country. North, just the north in Kaitaia. So I better act quickly if I want to get in for lunch. Do I need to make a booking? No.

And have you got greens on the menu? Yeah, we have salads. What a top opportunity that is. Yeah. Now, my palate's a little bit conservative. Do you cook the food well? Yep. Yep.

Very well. And I got to the end of it. You got to the end of it. Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this first? Huh? Who's this?

Shannon. Shannon? It's Jono and Ben. That's who we are. I'm on the radio. Oh, you're on the radio. Jeez, your menu sounds amazing. Oh, my God.

What do you want to say to the fine people of New Zealand? Hi. The salt and pepper squid sounded good. Oh, my God. Did you notice that we were trying to insert political parties? I thought maybe, but I didn't know. You were too polite to say anything. And that's why, Shannon, you're the best in the game, baby.

Thanks. You're the best. Give your cafe a bit of a plug, mate. And Kaia. Kaia. There we go. And what's the name of it? Mamaki on 25.

Shannon Salwin. Shannon Salwin. You're a Kiwi hero. Thanks. You look after yourself and have a wonderful morning. You too. Bye. Bye.

What more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Bye. semi-finals today. Here is the big match-up. Kiwi Onion Dip. The original Kiwi Dip. Slather Break. Versus Slice of Heaven. Yeah, you need to get your votes in 4, 4, 8, 7 because whoever wins this will advance on through to the finals. It's a semi-final number. Well, this is the business end of... You know how the

commentators are like, this is the business end of the tournament. We can say that now. This is the business end of the tournament. Yeah. We can say that now. This is the business end of the tournament. So we've been trying to see how the polling's going out and about. Can we pull back the curtain a little bit? We've been struggling a little bit, you know, haven't we? Yeah, to get a hold of people. Yeah.

Yesterday we thought, well, because Onion Dip's in the running here against Dave Dobbin, it would make sense to phone Magi or Nestle. And somehow we ended up calling Australia. Kiwi onion dip is up against Dave Dobbin's slice of heaven. Okay. I'm actually in Sydney. Well, this would mean nothing to you. Yeah.

Well, I know enough to know that kiwi dip's quite iconic. It's very iconic, but you probably don't know enough to know what Slice of Heaven is. Hashtag fail, Jono and Ben. So then you had the idea to call Parliament. Yeah, because they like voting. They like elections. They tell me. So we phoned the beehive.

Is Kiwi Onion Dip taking on Slice of Heaven? Two very iconic things. We just thought we'd maybe ring Parliament and get your thoughts on this. My thoughts? Yeah. Oh, well, I could put you through to the Prime Minister's office. I'm sure she'd have a...

Oh, OK, we'll go to the top. You're like, I can't even decide. It's too tough. You have reached the mailbox of PM Reception. She was busy. I don't know what Jacinda was busy doing yesterday. But we did leave her an annoying voicemail that she'll have to clear in about three years.

So we got palmed off there. And then we're like, okay, well then, let's just go straight to a politician. Yeah. David Seymour. From the ACT Party. Leader of the ACT Party. Gave him a call.

How can you text me? Is that sorry? He just said, how can you text me? Is that sorry? He just said, how can you text me? I don't know what shady operation he was running, but something very suspicious was going on there. It sounded like he was in the middle of a meeting. Hi, can you text me? And so we got an opinion from literally nobody.

No one. Nobody. So we need your thoughts. 4487, as Jono said before. Give us a text. Tell us if you want a kiwi onion dip or if you want Slice of Heaven from Dave Dobbin to go through. We'll have the results for you just before 9 o'clock today.

You're backing onion dip. I'm backing Dobbin. I feel like Dave Dobbin should be the president of New Zealand. I know we don't have one. Let's invent one. Put him on the $20 note. Who's on there at the moment? The Queen.

Yeah. Get rid of the Queen. Put Dobbin on the $20. More painful than your alarm clock. It's on there at the moment? The Queen. Yeah. Get rid of the Queen. Put Dorban on the 20. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Joddo and Ben on the hits. Kia ora.

I'm Ash Thomas and this is The B***ing News. Yeah, this is a fun game the whole family can play if your family has access to a newsreader and a radio producer

that can beep out certain words from headlines. Juliet with the news and beeps. Thank you. Your first headline is YouTube couple being ripped online for doing a gender reveal on... Now, we need to guess what this word is.

YouTube couple being ripped online for doing a gender reveal on... TikTok? The ultimate crime for any YouTube star? Yeah. I'm going to go they did the gender reveal on a 15-second pre-roll YouTube ad commercial. One of those commercials that pop up. Maybe one you can't skip as well. The ultimate crime.

So annoying. Well, your mind's actually going to be blown by this. YouTube couple being ripped online for doing a gender reveal on the Burj Khalifa. They literally paid so much money and had, it's a boy, lit up on the whole Burj Khalifa. So that's the massively tall building. Tallest building in the world. In Dubai. Yeah.

And everyone's like, wow, surely your money can be spent. Are they from Dubai? Yeah, I think they live there as well. Oh, they are. So it was their home turf. Yeah, yeah. It was like getting on the Sky City and a banner rolling down, It's a Boy.

Yeah, true. But have you seen the photo of Tom Cruise on top of the Burj Khalifa? Oh, yeah. It makes me sick just looking at it. I know. I know. He's sitting right at the top. I don't even know what he's harnessed on.

No. So apparently he climbed out of a helicopter. He was filming Mission Impossible over there. He's like, what's that building there? It's the Burj Khalifa, Tom. He's like, oh, well, I shall sit on top of that and take a selfie. Sit on it? Grammatically, that's incorrect.

But anyway, you're Tom Cruise. He's like, I'm Tom Cruise. You're fired. OK? Sorry, sorry. You can sit wherever you want, mate. He's like, I'm Tom Cruise, you're fired. Sorry, sorry. You can sat wherever you want, mate. Plus Scientology's going to ruin your life, but anyway. So he climbs out of the helicopter and sits on top of the pin,

which is on the very, very top of the building. I know. With a selfie stick and takes a photo. Google the photo if you haven't seen it. Oh, it is. We might check it on our Instagram story, maybe. We'll do that. Yeah, that's good.

Make it accessible. It's breakfast, all right? Check it out on our story. maybe. We'll do that. Yeah, that's a good idea. Make it accessible. It's breakfast, all right? Check it out on our story. All right, next news headline. Second World War veteran gets permission to be buried in a... Buried in a... I'm going to say Borat costume. I'm going to say it's the actual centre of town,

so he can say, I've been buried in the dead centre of town. Dad joke. Classic dad joke. Love the dad joke. Second World War veteran gets permission to be buried in a Juicy Fruit themed coffin. Juicy Fruit like the chewing gum?

Yeah. So Wrigley's have given him permission to have the casket painted as Juicy Fruit. And I thought of you, Ben. I was like, you love your gum. I do love my gum. Sugar free extra though. That would be his coffin. Yeah, true.

Maybe I could ask the people from Sugar Free. Bubble gum sugar free extra coffin. I'm down if they are. Maybe they can pay for my funeral. We've spoken before about Ben's very tight regime when it comes to handing out pieces of chewing gum. One piece at a time? One's enough.

It's quite a strong flavor. One's enough. You don't need more than one. I have allocated a number of pieces. Amanda gets really annoyed with my wife because she's like, I want two. I was like, one's all you're going to get. Buy your own gum.

And how long does one need to last for? They can last. When that flavor's gone, you can have another piece of gum, but you're going to get. Buy your own gum. And how long does one need to last for? Oh, they can last. You know, when that flavour's gone, you can have another piece of gum, but you don't need two. One at a time? I'm the opposite.

I end up putting the whole pack in my mouth. And I just keep adding to it. Like, I don't spit out the stuff that's lost its flavour. So I end up with a giant, giant chewy ball. And the final story of our News and Beeps. Captain Tom Moore reveals he was caught and was then forced to do a awareness course. I'm going to say Captain Tom Moore was caught sucking the door handles of a toilet bus.

A toilet bus? What? I mean a public bus. That's also a toilet that travels around that people can use whenever they want. I'm saying Captain Tom Moore was caught singing Miley Cyrus into a hairbrush in his room, you know, in front of the mirror.

I'd pay to watch that. Like a teenager. Captain Tom Moore reveals he was caught speeding and was then forced to do a awareness course. Oh, really? So he's the guy that became really famous. Did he get knighted as well? Yes, he did get knighted. He raised over $60 million for medical staff by doing all the laps around his garden, that

really old guy. In the UK, yeah. Yeah, and he was caught speeding, and then the police were like, nah, you've got to do yourself one of those retest sort of courses. And he said it was really boring. Well, your grandfather was one of those. He'd get pulled over all the time, and he'd be like, I fought in the war for people like you to the police officer.

Yeah, I know. He's like, yeah, well, you're drunk right now, mate. Doesn't give you the right to do that. I can drive over anyone. Fought in the war for people like you. Hey, well, thank you for the news and beats, mate. It doesn't give you the right to do that. I can drive over anyone fought in the war for people like you. Hey, well, thank you for the news and beats, Juliet.

No worries. That was very professional. Not a morning person. Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Here he is

with a topical porridge of mildly interesting current events of the day. Ben Boyce, scrolling through your feed. Now, it turns out Karen isn't the biggest name for complaining,

the most popular name for complaining. The biggest complainer of them all is not that. Then our UK study, I don't know why people just delve into these things, but our UK company has gone through TripAdvisor and looked at the people that complained the most, the names of the people that complained the most. Well, you can't tell the UK's been in lockdown for months and have had nothing to do.

So the most complained about Landmark before we get into that, the Eiffel Tower has had the most? Well, you can't tell the UK's been in lockdown for months and have had nothing to do. So the most complaint about landmark, before we get into that, the Eiffel Tower. Is it the most complaints about any of the world's landmarks? What? How can you complain about the Eiffel Tower? Negative reviews going, oh, yeah, it wasn't much of a tower. I don't know. That was a really, we went and saw the Eiffel Tower.

It was impressive. Yeah, it's impressive. But anyway. I vomited under the Eiffel Tower. That wasn't impressive. Did you? Yeah, I had to eat. He made me eat beef tartare,

which is just basically a French dish of raw mince. Raw mince. Yeah. And you bought it from the supermarket, so it was still frozen as well, parts of it. And, you know, it did not agree with me. But the names of the people that complain the most, according to TripAdvisor,

so let's go five to one. So females, Sarah, Sue, Susan, Karen and Kim. They sound like complaining names, don't they? When it comes to men, we're going from five to one. Andrew, Mark, John, David and Paul.

Paul. Yeah. And a groom in the USA is going viral with a video of a very risky move. A bit of a prank doing his wedding in nuptials. So in the video shared online, he was asked, obviously, do you take this lady to be your lawful wedded wife? And he went, give me a moment. And then he went over with his groom and they went into a huddle,

a pre-prepared choreographed huddle, you know, like a basketball team. And sort of had a bit of a conversation while everyone was watching. Then he came back and went, yeah, yeah, okay, we agree. So, yeah. So it's gone big online. It would have watching. Then he came back and went, yeah, yeah, okay, we agree. So, yeah. So it's gone big online. It would have been great if he came back and said, listen, the team have decided no. We're not going with this play.

We're going to call it a day and have a lovely life. I told you about that. So friends of, well, friends of friends, basically, when their group got married, the first one had to wait two seconds to say I do afterwards. It was like their little agreement. And then it would be four seconds for the first one had to wait two seconds to say I do. Afterwards, it was like a little agreement, and then it would be four seconds for the next one. So I went to this wedding, and not knowing why there was

like an awkward four-second pause, I was like, do you take this lady to be, and it was like, why is it taking so long to answer? But he had to wait four seconds. The next one, they got married, they had to wait six seconds. But half the people at the wedding don't know this. So imagine when the last guy was like 12, 14 seconds. Have you ever been to a wedding where someone's said no?

Oh, like... Like have not agreed to the nuptials? And I don't know why you would leave it till that exact minute. It happens in the movies, right? Does anyone object? You're like, I object. Okay, oh, yeah. 4487 gives a text.

If you've been to a wedding and the groom or the bride have walked off at the altar. Jeez, that'd be high drama. Do you get, as a guest, do you get to stay and still eat the catering? I hope so. I hope so. Like, if you fly into the Hawke's Bay for the weekend, you're like, oh, okay, well, that's not working,

but we're still here. We can still make this work in some form. Yeah, there's a blemish on the day. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The Kiwi Referendum. The most iconic New Zealand things head-to-head. What is your favourite bit of Kiwiana?

We are reaching crunch time in our competition with a couple of big bangers today. Slice of Heaven taking on Kiwi Onion Dip. Yeah. Kiwi Onion Dip. The original Kiwi Dip. Slalabraker. Versus Slice of Heaven.

Slice of Heaven. I always thought Slice of Bevan would be a great name if you ran a cake shop and your name was Bevan. I mean, a lot of planners need to align for that to happen. That's what my boysenberries, you know, boysenberry business. Yeah, that's what you're going to do after radio. Yeah, boysenberries. Ben Boysenberries.

That is smart. I like it a lot. Or Rolls Boyce, your Rolls Boyce dealership. Oh, yeah, true, I could do that. I mean, there's many options, many panels. Yeah, the Rolls-Boys one would probably be more profitable than the Boys to Bread game, but who knows? So, 4487, what do you want to advance through to the finals?

This is semi-final number one. Is it going to be Slice of Heaven, Dave Dobbin, or is it going to be Onion Dip? Now, Onion Dip, I just tell you, it just takes a chip to another level. It does. It's like a lipstick for a chip, isn't it? Yeah. Gives it a little zhuzh up.

We spoke to Rosemary Mount earlier in the week and she's retired now but she invented it. She put the two together when she was working for Nestle Maggi back in the day. Yeah, reduced cream and the onion dip. She said ready salted chip. She designed it for a plain base level basic chip. Because

the dip does all the work. It does all the work with all the flavour work. Your taste bud explosion. It is so iconic. 4487 if you want Kiwi Onion Dip to go through. But of course, it's up against Slice of Heaven, which is one of our greatest songs, if not the greatest New Zealand song ever.

And it's so popular that we even did a test the other day of just playing it down the phone line, not even saying anything, and to see if people would sing along with it. Hello? Hello? How does it sound? It's like the heaven. Yay!

Yeah, so that's it. You don't even get to say anything. Yeah, we're petitioning for it to become somehow intertwined into the national anthem of New Zealand. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, overnight in Wainui, Wainui-a-Mata in Wellington, Lower Hutt, there is a photo that has emerged on social media.

It looks like a Toyota Caldina station wagon driving down the main road with another car, another Toyota, ironically, balanced on top of it. It's driving down the road, right? It's driving. Yeah, it's driving, but there's no straps. It's not sitting on a roof rack of any kind. It's just, like, balancing on top of the car.

So clearly they're transporting it to the car yard or a mechanic or something. God knows how it got on top. It's like two cars were making love. You're dead right. You can imagine the cars were making love and then the car got on top of the other car and then they were like, oh, down the road and you're like...

It's like when you watch National Geographic and you see one antelope awkwardly... And you're like, I should be watching this. This is their business. When you watch National Geographic and you see one antelope awkwardly... And you're like, I should be watching this. This is their business. I love it that the car is on top. So you can't imagine someone who's doing this has access to a crane or something that could lift the car up. So you imagine it was just...

They sort of just drove up there. Yeah. You reckon? Maybe they reversed up the bonnet of the station wagon. So many questions. Amazing moment in Kiwi history, this, isn't it? Yeah, I'd love to try and track them down to see what the backstory to this is,

if anyone knows them. Why is this a thing? Yeah. But it reminded me of Royal Oak, where I live nearby. There's a roundabout. Apparently, it's the most dangerous roundabout in New Zealand. Every time I drive, I know that roundabout. It's just like,

you've got to just go, really. There's about 23 entry and exit points to the roundabout. You literally just shut your eyes and go. Because there's two lanes going into each, and you're like, you know, you're trying to wait for a safe spot, and you're like, oh. If you make it out alive, it's a win. It's a win from that roundabout. It's the Wild West.

Anyway, there's no parking. Parking can be from that roundabout. It's the Wild West. Anyway, there's no parking. Parking can be quite busy around there during the middle of the day. So I was waiting at the roundabout. I saw a lady literally come out of the giveaway sign, drive on top of the roundabout, park, jump out, lock her car, and leave the car in the middle of the roundabout. You've got to respect that, right? You get zero hoots about parking when you're in the middle of the roundabout.

No respect for the parking, but there's nothing in the road code that says you can't park in the middle of the roundabout. There probably is, I would imagine. Probably. You have to be pretty confident in your abilities, don't you, to pull something like that off. Did the roundabout have any signs on it or anything? Like anything stopping her?

Or did she just... No, just mowed into the middle of it. Parked in the middle of it. Wow. I fully respected it. I think all the other motorists appreciate it. It's like, well, it's busy. There's nowhere else to park.

It's there all the disabled. She didn't park in there, obviously. Well, there we go. Because there's parks. And that's the problem with parking now is there's so many specially designated ones that there's no room for anyone else. You have pregnant mothers.

Yeah, which, fair enough. Expecting mothers. People who have had a sad day. Oh, no. People who ate too much at lunch, can't walk that far to the countdown doors. So half the car park's taken up with designated car parks. Small vehicle parks, electric vehicle parks.

Oh, there are some of those. Small electric vehicle parks. There's no category that's not catered for in the car park nowadays. So now you've got to park on roundabouts. That's what has resulted in. Or on top of another car. Maybe that's not catered for in the car park nowadays So now you've got to park on roundabouts That's what has resulted in Or on top of another car Maybe that's what happened

Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook Spy, launch into mess-free Mexican With the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket This is our favourite time of the morning, isn't it? The Spy celebrity update behind brushing our teeth and smelling our morning breath.

We love this. Thank you. So Will Smith and I guess the whole team behind Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has listed the mansion on Airbnb for someone to stay in for five nights only. So the actual owners of the mansion, they're just renting out one wing of it but you get a whole

lot of perks with it. So you get to lace up a fresh pair of Jordans before shooting some basketball in the bedroom. Spinning throwback classics all night on turntables just like DJ Jazzy Jeffs. You get a new outfit and you get to hang out soaking up the

sun poolside. You don't get access to the kitchen, but everything, all the food gets served to you on silver platters. Wow. It's a whole experience, really. Oh, it's good to get another revenue stream for Will Smith. He's probably looking to diversify his portfolio, see other ways he can make some income. Yeah, exactly. So this would just be the house they used for the outside, obviously.

Yes. I imagine the inside of the house would have been sets or whatever. Correct. But it's still pretty cool. I know. So you probably don't get the, when you're inside, it probably wouldn't be the same. But the whole experience would be so luxurious, wouldn't it?

What impresses me about the Freshman Sibelius, they put together that reunion special 30 years pretty quickly. Friends have been banging on about their one for how long? I know. Oh, we can't do it. Oh, we can't. You know, why can't, you know? It's just sitting in a room, talking.

They did it. They put it together. Well done to the creators and makers of The Fresh Prince of Balea for getting their stuff together. You're right, Ben. I understand we're in COVID and stuff like that. Do you want to have to have an audience? 15 years for David Schwimmer to get his ass on a couch and talk about friends.

Yeah, exactly. Do it by Zoom. Just get it done. I'm sick of hearing about it. Yeah, exactly. Do it by Zoom. Just get it done. Yeah, I know. I'm sick of hearing about it. Either do it or don't do it. Either way, I don't, yeah. And Chrissy Teigen,

she is, of course, the wife of John Legend. She has paid for supplies for more than 50 teachers. So she randomly just tweeted, if you're a teacher in need of supplies for the upcoming school year, please drop your Amazon wishlist here. I'll do as many as I can.

And she cleared 50 entire lists and is keeping on going. So isn't that nice? Just spending your time probably in lockdown just paying for teachers' supplies. Oh, and it's a nightmare stationary shopping. I tell you what, every January there's a big list. You have to go to the bloody warehouse stationary and find the 4BK books and the little pencils. Yeah, you're right. Well done, Chrissy Teigen.

That's no no-mean feat. As a kid, though, there was literally nothing better than going to stationery shopping. Can't use stationery, eh? It was the best thing ever. I love the stationery. Like, I'm going to look after this stationery

for the rest of my life. And then three weeks later, it's all just... And I'd get Duracell one back in the day when it was okay. Yes, true. And then put it on, and I'd make big bumpy lines. I'm like, oh, I'm on the stationery. What do the day when it was okay. Yes, right. And then put it on and I'd make a big bumpy line. Oh, I'm ruining my stationery.

What do you mean when it was okay to have it? You're not allowed it now. Well, there's people saying it's obviously plastic. Oh, everything. Everything's all about the environment these days, isn't it? I love the joy of Duracelling a book for three weeks. You can get reusable buns now that you sort of pop in, that you take off and put in a new book the following year.

What about the makers of Duracell? What are they doing? Okay well maybe sorry I don't want to offend them. I don't want to offend anyone.

I was just saying I know some people are like oh it's a blessing. But there was no worse feeling either when you had done it and you got that

wrinkle and you had to iron it out with the ruler. It never looked the same right? It was so bad and that is spy thanks to Old El Paso you can

launch into some mess free Mexican with their new tortilla pockets. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The Kiwi Referendum.

Now this Saturday we were meant to be voting as a country. Obviously the election has been delayed by a little bit so we thought we'd give you guys something

to vote on and we want to know what is the best of the best. The best thing about New Zealand, the most iconic things have been taking on each other in a knockout style tournament

and today's battle was this. Kiwi Onion Dip. The original Kiwi Dip. Slalabraker. Versus Slice of Heaven. Two big bangers, two big bangers, because it's semi-final time. This is, whoever wins this, I don't know if you know the structure of a tournament,

will advance on through to the finals, Ben. Yeah. So that's what happens after a semi-final. By the end of the week, we will know what the most iconic thing in New Zealand is, as voted by you. Yep. Now, Dave Dobbin, who sings Slice of Heaven,

we've got a wonderful history with Dobbin, don't we? It's a pretty hard case. I remember we were hosting the Music Awards once, and Dave Dobbin was sitting at the table. We were in the middle of doing something on TV and we had a taxidermied cat that we rented. I think for a gag that we'd done around Gareth Morgan, who was big at the time, the politician.

Oh, he was trying to cull the cats, wasn't he? Yeah. And so we were holding this taxidermied cat and then Dave Dobbin in the middle of it, things like, hey, can I have that cat? And I'm like, yeah, well, sure, Mr. Dave Dobbin. Dave Dobbin asked for something, you give it to him. He's a Kiwi legend and we didn't realise it had been hired.

We just thought, oh, maybe they bought it or whatever. We're like, give it to Dave Dobbin. Yeah, and so we did. And then three days later, the hire place is like, where's our taxidermied cat? We're like, we gave it to Dave Dobbin. And they're like, do you know how expensive that cat is? And we didn't understand.

No, we didn't. And they needed, that was their only taxidermied cat. Otherwise, they were going to have to go out and knock off another one and stuff it. And I loved it because they got in touch with Dave Dobbin and his people and they're like

do you have the cat and he's like nah he said nah and so it was an intense negotiation a stand off with Dave Dobbin to get this cat back and it was a back and forth

for about three or four weeks eventually after 20 phone calls Dobbin's like yeah I have the cat and then the next time we saw him he was like

I gave that cat a great home I was loyal to that cat were like, I gave that cat a crate home. I gave it the home. I was loyal to that cat. I said, welcome home to that cat. I was beside you, cat. I put him up on the mantelpiece. It was great.

He gave that cat a slice of heaven. You know? And yeah, and he was gutted because he loved that cat. He loved that cat. Boy, he loved that cat. And I'm sorry we had to take it off.

It's like giving a child a present for their birthday and then just going. Take it back. It's our bad too. But we can't get hold of Dave Dobbin. He's obviously busier than us. He doesn't want to talk to us after that horrific cat incident.

So we thought we'd find another Dobbin from the phone book and give them a call to find out if they're as passionate about Dave Dobbin songs as Dave Dobbin. Hello? Oh, we got a hold of the Dobbin residents. Who am I talking to? Listen, you're talking to Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Your favourite breakfast radio show?

I don't think it is, but I'm sure you're a very personable young man and doing the best you can. This is the best call we've had. In difficult circumstances. They are difficult. You know what the difficult circumstances are? No one's listening to the show. That's the difficulty.

Including you. You're part of the problem. I am. Definitely part of the problem. Oh, you're amazing. Now, Mr Dobbin. Yeah, anyway, it's nice of you to ring me up. I'm not very well and it cheers me up.

Do you mind if we ask you a quick question, Mr Dobbin? Are you familiar with this song? I wouldn't say I'm totally familiar, but I think I might have heard it. Yeah, Slice of Heaven, yeah? Yeah, da, da, da, da, da, da. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Would you say it was more popular? You're all mad. Would you say it was more popular than Onion Dip?

Oh, definitely from Heaven. Oh, Slice of Heaven. You've gone Slice of Heaven over the Onion Dip. Have you enjoyed Onion Dip lately? I've never even heard of onion dip. I'm sure it's a really good song.

It's a hell of a jam. That's been a very intelligent conversation. Isn't it mate? And it's very nice of you to ring. Oh lovely to talk to you. I feel like this is

the third time he's tried to wrap it up. See you mate. Okay keep trying to wrap it up. Oh you're so. Okay, keep trying to wrap it up. Oh, he was so good. Okay, we need to announce now. Thank you to all your votes throughout the morning

and on social media, 4487 and on the Hits Breakfast Instagram. What is the winner of the referendum, Onion Dip, taking on Slice of Heaven, Producer Juliet? The original Kiwi Dip. Kiwi Onion Dip. Oh, through to the final Onion Dip. Your votes on social and the text have done that. Well, who will be meeting Onion Dip in the final? Will it be the Jandals?

Or will it be the other item? Mince and cheese pie. Mince and cheese pie. I was all waiting for John. I was like, oh, he knows. But then you were looking at me blankly like, I can't remember. I can't remember. Mince and cheese pie taking on Jandals tomorrow in the next semi.

One of them will be meeting onion dip in the final. Oh, we have our finalist, New Zealand. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. About to wrap up our show. Before we do, the politicians are all over the country right now. They're campaigning. And Jacinda Ardern, you mentioned her earlier today, Jono, is in Dunedin.

Yeah, she was on Breakfast TV and she was doing a live interview in the Octagon. It was open space and I thought ripe for a student pranking someone lighting a firework out of their mouth or something that, a couch burning, a naked run. Something would go on and it would cause a bit of a scene, but it wasn't actually people that caused the scene in the end. Have a listen to this. Confidence in the information that's being provided and confidence that will deliver the outcome.

The seagulls are really taking you on. I know, I know, that's Radio Dunedin. You just said though, did I just say this correctly? Can you get rid of them? Is there some way we can get rid of the seagulls? It's a real problem, there's no problem with the wildlife, is there? I hope they don't go poo-poo.

Anyway, Prime Minister, you just said... You're lucky that you didn't get the bells. Oh! Comedy timing there from the Prime Minister. Wonderful stuff. There we go. Well, at least someone bombarded the cross. That's all we were hoping for in Dunedin. It was the seagulls and the bell from the clock tower.

The city didn't disappoint. Now we want to end the show as we do every day on why it's going to be a good day. And yesterday, things didn't go that well because we have a very brutal end to the show that sometimes happens because we need to sort of sync up with the network. I don't get too technical, but...

Well, you already have. Like syncing up with the network. Well, you know, it does. Anyway, our show has to finish on an exact second. It has to finish at 8.57 on the dot. If it doesn't, literally, the North Island

will explode. Yeah, and things went badly yesterday because you took a call. I'm putting it on you. You took a call with 10 seconds to go,

Jono, and this is what happened. Why is it going to be a good day for you? Well, I've got a poem with Sam Hunt. You remember Sam Hunt?

Sorry, we've got to run out of time. We've got to pay the ads before we walk you out. Here we go. Oh no. I'm, we're going to run out of time. We're going to play the ads, but we will keep going. Here we go. Oh, no. This is going to be on the character. We're on the great Shelfie Tender.

So, brutally cut off. Didn't even, we never got to hear a Sam Hunt impersonation. I know, it felt really bad because it wasn't us. It was like, we went, hey, tell your story.

We're like, nah, I don't want to hear it. And we did. It was just to do with the network. The sinking of the network and making it technical again. So, we want to give Sam Hunt the chance at redemption.

If the man who was going to do a Sam Hunt impersonation is listening, call up. Mike, yesterday, brutally cut off by the ads. The story of my life, mate. Always cut off by commercials.

All right, Mike. We brought you back on again. We want to hear your... Oh, sorry, Mike. We've run out of time. No, no, I'm kidding. All right. We'd love brought you back on again. We want to hear you. Oh, sorry, Mike. We've run out of time. No, no, I'm kidding. All right. We'd love to hear your Sam Hunt-inspired poem.

I'll get in the carrot, gang. I'm like, life's a waste of time. Time's a waste of life. So why don't we just get wasted and have the time of our lives? What do you do, Mike? Handyman and teller. Oh, right. I tell you what, you've Handyman and teller. Oh, right. I tell you what, you've nailed your Sam Hunt impersonation.

You should see my part-time job as a pole dancer. Oh, Mike, you're a good sport. We're sorry again for cutting you off yesterday. Hold the line. We'll send you out something for you, all right? Have a great day. You're good, boys, mate. Take care.

Be safe. Thank you, Mike. Redemption there from Mike. Let's go to Velda in Hamilton. Why's it going to be a good one for you, Velda? Hello, Jonah and Ben. Oh, I'm doing AAA exercises in our village today, and I'm heading for beautiful Cambridge.

Oh, very nice. Are you in a retirement village? I am. How old are you, Velda? 75. Oh, wonderful to have you listening to the program. You go and enjoy your AAA exercises and have a great Tuesday. Thank you very much.

Love your work. Same goes for the rest of you. Have a great Tuesday. We'll catch you tomorrow from 6. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast.

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