Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - September 21 - Jono's Mum Annie Listens To The Podcast, Tell Us Your Travel Time, Dr. Mark Penning

Episode Date: September 20, 2020

Kia Ora! Big shoutout to Jono's mum Annie Pryor who is an avid listener of our podcast! We even called Annie to chat about the podcast and Jono's questionable driving habits. Ben also had some explaining to do at home when he accidentally searched something inappropriate on the computer. Finally, Ben said if he was in government, he would make voicemails illegal (because let's be honest, they are the bane of everyone's existence) and we wanted to know the rules you'd implement if you were in government.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Oh, welcome to the podcast intro. We had a crowd here, now they've all left.

Everyone's leaving. They're like, oh, it's the podcast, we're leaving. Oh, you're welcome, it's a good podcast, guys. oh, it's the podcast. We're leaving. Oh, you're welcome. It's a good podcast, guys. Look, we start the podcast, everyone walks out. That's not a good sign. There was like 12 people in here. It doesn't happen on Joe Rogan's podcast, does it?

They hang around for it. They stick around for the podcast. Do you know what? Today, there was a lot of traffic, particularly in Auckland today, over the Harbour Bridge because they're down to a couple of lanes. And when we were moving our car, we spoke to a lady who had listened to the entire radio show of ours coming to work yeah and she didn't seem happy about it it was more just factual it was nice obviously she enjoys listening to the show but it's like there are other shows as well you know like she could have flicked her during

the ad oh no no no don't flick around during the ads no stay there for the ad the ads are my favorite part actually sometimes i wish we could put more ads in the podcast that's what i don't like about the podcast not enough commercials ben okay so if you could work on that for the ad. The ads are my favourite part actually. Mine too. I wish we could put more ads in the podcast. That's what I don't like about the podcast. Not enough commercials Ben. That's right. So if you could work on that for the future.

But yeah very exciting show. We had a fun show. Spoke to a guy who works for Disney. He's like the head vet for Disney. Yeah.

He looks after all the animals. Not like Mickey Mouse and Goofy and stuff. The actual animals. No Donald Duck. The real ones. The real ones.

Yeah. Donald Duck and Pluto. Yeah but the actual name. How duck the real ones the real ones yeah yeah donald duck and uh pluto yeah yeah but the actual how many disney characters can you name oh we could be here for a while okay let's go one for one oh okay well queen elsa uh mickey mouse uh maui mini mouse you can't just go met all the mouses, I'm just going working my way systematically through. Why can't I just say what's the point of you? Cinderella. Okay.

Pluto. Sleeping Beauty. Goofy. Who else would I go for? Hans. Buzz Lightyear. I'm out. Oh, really?

You knew this was going to go on too long. I got the full collection of the Countdown Dominoes when they were out, the Disney characters. You do get swept up in that supermarket madness. Are you doing the garden one at the moment? No, we've got some of the stick, the insect ones at the moment, the cards as well. You do, you're a sucker for a supermarket promotion.

I do love it. Every time I tell you, you'll never pull these out again. And you're like, just let me get my Dominoes. I need to get the set. You killed a man for some dominoes. We're not going back there. We're going moving forward. Enjoy the podcast today. Have a great day and we'll catch you tomorrow.

The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, I'm going to tell you the story and I know your reaction anyway. I don't know why I'm walking myself into this. I don't even know what the story is, but I'm already smiling. So there's a lot of stuff on the

internet right now that you don't want your kids to see. As a couple of parents, there's particularly a lot of unsavoury stuff that you try and protect your kids from. I mean you had seven years of a TV show. You'd never want those kids to see that. Most embarrassing stuff. So at the moment my wife Amanda

she's set up a sort of a safe blocker thing on her home computer at home so that the kids can't go into areas that, you know, they're not meant to go in. That sounds like sensible parenting. It is good parenting. So we've got a couple of young girls and, you know, we don't want them going on those areas, which is great. And so

it blocks, you know, if you type in something unsavoury, it blocks it and then later Amanda can look at it and go, oh, Sasha was trying to look at this. So here's the story. Listen, this is a long runway. I know where we're going to end up. I know where we're going to end up. So over the weekend.

Okay. Okay. What happened, pal? So over the weekend. What do you need me to be an alibi for? Come on, I'll pull you out of the doldrums again, buddy. So over the weekend, my wife was out. I was at home with the kids.

And I, you know, like, I try my best with the girls, getting them organised, but I'm not very good at doing their hair. Like, it's not something I've had experience in, you know, putting ponytails on and doing things like that on the hair. So thankfully we have, you know, you have YouTube and normally you can type in, you know, if the girls want something done, like a ponytail, we can type in something and between them and me,

we try and work out. You navigate your way through it. That's right. So in the weekend, they wanted something done with a bobby pin. You know what? They had a whole lot of bobby pins. Now, I don't know what bobby pins do as far as that goes. I'm looking at Producer Juliet here.

He's not even eyeballing me. No, I'm just looking for some help from Producer Juliet. Yes, yes. Okay. You've got bobby pins. So one of the kids, I was like, well, type it into YouTube what you want to do with these bobby pins

and we'll try and work it out. So one of the kids typed in girls' bobbies into the computer. Now, for bobby pins, for girls' bobbies, the computer obviously in the system didn't like.

That's what I corrected, yeah. Didn't like, yeah. Didn't like what it typed in for girls' bobbies. So this was alarming. So, yeah. Yeah, this doesn't get past us. The search was blocked.

And then I had to do some explaining later on. Because Amanda gets notified. To go, well, who was looking up girls' bobbies on the internet? And then, you know, that classic thing where right now I'm over-explaining the situation. You're like, well, we're trying to do stuff with the hair. We're doing it ourselves. Normally we type in girls' ponytails. Today we typed in girls' bobbies.

It happened. And, you know, it was either someone looking for a bobby pin or a pervert who can't spell. So that's my story. I've got it out here. And I'm sticking with it. That is exactly what happens while I was searching up girls' bobbies on the internet.

Wonderful. Now, Juliet, let's have a team talk, just you and me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Percentage-wise, how much of that story do you believe to be authentic? I reckon 40%. 40%? I believe he was on the internet. Yeah.

From that point on, I lose all faith. Yeah. Some mates you guys are. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, election. It's coming up in New Zealand. What you want is Jono and Ben

vaguely trying to talk you through information that they've read online. And that's why people come here for maybe correct information in regards to any topical issues. And what we do, we pride ourselves on reading the first paragraph of a story on the Herald. That's all we need. And then deep diving into it on the radio.

Sometimes I just like the headline and then I don't care what's said after that. I just read, you know, I just base my opinions based on a headline. And that's the attention span that we have in 2020. But anyway, National last Friday, they promised tax cuts. Tax cuts for everyone. Tax cuts for the average New Zealander. Tax cuts for the not average New Zealander. Everyone was getting tax cuts.

And then Labour came out and said, oh, well, listen, all the figures they're working off, they're old ones, and they've missed $4 billion. $4 billion. Just a little amount. Which is 1% of the whole thing. Yeah, it's amazing how that equates from 1%, where you're like, oh, not much,

to 4 billion. Yeah, quite a lot. So, poor National were forced to wake up. Grant Robertson, the Labour MP, the Minister of Finance, he must have been like, yeah! It's a good day for Robbo! When he released that press release.

But Paul Goldsmith, who's the National Finance Minister, this is what he had to say. This is an irritating mistake. We missed it. An irritating mistake. We make mistakes. These things happen. They're irritating.

Look, it's irritating that this happened. Irritating? We're irritating. Jono and Ben, we're irritating. Yeah, we know that. I don't know if this is irritating. It's annoying that you made a mistake, I'm sure. It's funny.

It's funny at the moment because they can literally, they can just go out and say anything to politicians at the moment. And that's the joy of being a politician, isn't it? I mean, Trump, he was meant to build a wall. We've all forgotten about that. We've forgotten about that because he's done far more wild stuff. That's right. So if you were a leader in a political party,

what would be the one rule or law that you would like to introduce or campaign off? Ben Boyce. We're talking more like quirky, quirky laws. Yeah, not like, oh, you know, unemployment will solve all that. I mean, that's a given. We want to sort unemployment out. Like I would make it illegal for people to leave a voice message. You can't leave a voice message.

Punishable by death. Well, not death, no. Death. I'm just sick. I don't want to clear the voice messages. I've got voice messages from months and months ago. I don't know what's happened. There could be some big stuff going on in my family

I don't even know about, but I haven't cleared them. Just send me a text. Oh, 800 the hits. That's how it works. What law would you put into play? You know what I'd do what's that

I would tell everyone what they wanted to hear so they elected me that'd be my campaign trick Ben Boyce wants to make it illegal to leave voicemails producer Juliet you came in

what were you saying about parking it could be legal to park anywhere you wanted with no risk of getting a ticket and making

the parking ticket people illegal making them illegal? How about just making them redundant? By the way, you lose your job and you're illegal. What? I'm illegal?

What does this mean? I don't know. I'm locking you up. I'm just doing my job. Can I add no more than three display pillows per household? Can I add that to it? Yeah, you're a big hater on the pillows.

Too many. Three's enough. You navigate 20 pillows a day on your bed, don't you? You can have up to three per household. That's fine. Okay, so 800 the hits. What do you want to make policy? You know what I'd do? I'd make every Friday mandatory that everyone

would have to wear orange to satisfy corporate obligations to our friend Skinny and their official colour. Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh. Thank you. Thank you, Jono. Okay.

Bit of integration there. I make it illegal to do blatant plugs. That's what I do. I wouldn't trust myself as an MP. You know, I'd be that one, you know, every year they release the list of the MPs spending and everyone's like,

oh, they blew all that money. I'd be top of that list. I'd be like, what's he spent all this crazy stuff on? Why did he go to Rainbow's End every day for nine months? I don't know, because I could. Yeah, yeah. Because it's not my money. We'll go to Christchurch.

Rachel, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Oh, we're good. Okay, we vote for Rachel. You're in Parliament.

What's the one law? The law is that if you're at the South Checkout and for Rachel. You're in Parliament. What's the one law? The law is that you get the self-checkout and it keeps saying put item in the bag and area. Even though you have, then your whole groceries are free. Oh, that's a good one. Please place item in the bag. Are you like, I have placed the item in the bag. It's my own bag.

It's my bag. I bought a bag I feel your pain I tell you Everyone is going to vote for that Apart from the giant supermarket conglomerates Love your work Rachel That's very funny

Thank you Kay is on the phone from the Wairarapa Welcome to the show Kay What's your one policy If you've gone into Parliament I produce leaving the seat down Because there's nothing worse Than sitting straight down The seat seat down because there's nothing worse than sitting straight down

and the seat's up. No, there is nothing worse than your back, your caboose falling straight into that bowl. It's very confronting, isn't it? It is. Has this happened to you before? Yes. I'd pay good money to see that. I know.

I thought this was a family station. Stop cracking on to Kate, yeah? For the comical purposes. No, no, no. When you break it down, I'm like, oh, okay, because I know what sort of house you'd be placed. So maybe it wouldn't be appropriate to pay money for that.

You know this environment. Anyway, apologies about that. Hold the line. We'll send you out something for Jane, hopefully. A h the line. We'll send you out something for Jan. A hush prize. We'll send you out. How do you feel about $40 hell pizza not to tell anyone what just went on here? Please don't sue us.

Please don't. These thoughts are not that of Ian's and me's. No. My apparent company. Hey, listen, thank you very much for your call, Kate. She's not coming back. No. You made that so weird.

Okay, we're wrapping this up there. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Hey, Annie Pryor and Jon Pryor, they manufactured me, did a wonderful job of creating me back in the day, Ben Boyce. Right. I'm going into too much detail.

But they've come to stay over the last couple of weeks, my parents, and I didn't realise this, but she listens to the Hits Breakfast podcast religiously. Our podcast? Every day. She's on the exercise cycle in her garage. Zoom in a way, she's got a bit of a sore knee, so she keeps going around on the exercise cycle listening to the podcast.

Oh, wow. I just hope I'm as supportive of my children's endeavours as she is of ours, because I wouldn't wish that podcast upon my worst enemy. Oh, come on. That's a great plug for the podcast. iHeartRadio. Tune in. Alan will be pleased about that.

He goes, I plug the podcast more. That's quite what he wanted. He wasn't thinking that. He wasn't thinking that. But the problem is she hears everything, though. And, you know, we just say stuff. Well, especially you. You just say a lot of stuff.

A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. I'm like, oh, you know, you're not actually like that or you don't actually do it, but you just say it. Yeah, yeah. We just just say stuff. Well, especially you. You just say a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. Oh, you know, you're not actually like that or you don't actually do it, but you just say it. Yeah, yeah, we just say some stuff. And she hears it all. She hears all the stuff. She sat me down yesterday for a stern telling off.

Oh, really? Yeah, she's flying out this morning. So we'll just try and get her. We'll try and call in our producer, Juliet, to see if she can recap this for us. Hello? Annie Catherine Pryor. Yes, Jay.

It's ACP, my favourite mum in the world. Why was there no caller ID? Annie doesn't like it when we phone her on the radio. I'm the same as you, Annie. I don't answer any phones that have no blocked ID, right? No, I don't. Yeah phones that have no blocked ID, right? No, I don't. Yeah, no corner ID. And as soon as he spoke, I knew what was happening.

You know what you're part of? You'd rather it be the IRD, wouldn't you, than your son? I think. Now, Annie, I was just explaining, you're an avid listener of the podcast, which we love. Thank you. Thank you, yes. I'm thanking you.

But she hears everything that we say. Well, that's what a pod... Well, everything we say on the podcast. And he's like, yeah, that's how podcasts work. What we say. Yeah, listen. What is the point, Jay? The point is you heard that I said that I run red lights in the morning,

and then you told me that I better not be running red lights. You didn't. I don't think you said you ran red lights in the morning. And then you told me that I better not be running red lights. You didn't. I don't think you said you ran red lights. It's just I know you run red lights. I've been in your car with you. He's a shocking driver. You didn't actually say on the podcast, Jay. Oh, this is, I thought you had heard it.

Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Mum just knows how bad a driver I am. I've driven him with them before. He hasn't run red lights when I've been driving with him. But he doesn't like sitting still so he'll go through

like car parks and stuff just to try and save himself a few seconds. No, it's just every time I say

as he goes through and just as he reaches three quarters it's a red light. He's gone through on a yellow. Yellows are just like a suggestion of

hey, a red's coming. You can gun it if you want. No, it's not gunning it. No. That's what the road code says. No, it doesn't. It's like if you make it through here, you're a legend.

As caution, stop safely if you can because that's the idea. But anyway. Okay. It's been lovely having you stay at our house too. Well, thank you for officially telling New Zealand it's nice that we're good house guests. Okay, that's it. All right, Annie. We're revving up now.

You don't say, okay, that's it. That's our job. No, it isn't. All right. Love you, Mum. Bye. Bye. There we go.

Annie Pryor. She never says love you to you. No, I always say love you to her. I can never get a love you back. It's just a lovely, it's a nice moment. I love you, Mum. At the end of it, she's like, bye. I'm showing the vulnerability. I know. I heard it. lovely, it's a nice moment. You're like, I love you, Mum. At the end of it, she's like, bye. I'm showing the vulnerability.

Yeah, I know. I heard it. I heard it. Thank you. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, the Harbour Bridge, only down to a couple of lanes in Auckland, so the traffic is just backed up. Hours and hours it's taking people to get to work. Oh, it's backed up like you after that high-fibre diet you went on. Remember that? That was wild. Yeah. Had to do a lot of work to get to work. Oh, it's backed up like you after that high-fibre diet you went on. Remember that? That was wild. I had to do a lot of work to get that problem sorted out. But we got there in the NBN boys.

Yeah, we did. So what we wanted to do is we wanted to open up the phones and the text 44870800, the HITS telephone number. If you're not in Auckland, what we thought we'd do for those that are stuck right now and they're calling it traffic madness is you just phone up and you tell the Aucklanders your travel time to work. What was it? Was it a cheeky

seven minutes on the west coast of the South Island? Maybe it was 12 minutes in Nelson. You phone up and it can be like a sort of you know those adult phone lines you know you can phone up and they don't. I've never phoned one I've never phoned one. You seem to know a lot about it. I've never. Keep going. I'm telling you, you seem to know a lot about it.

Keep going with your examples. How does it work? Oh, no, well, you've just got 0900 number. I've never phoned one. Some people do. Not for me. Not for me. He gets all these weird pop-ups on his YouTube and stuff.

Anyway, so it'd kind of be like that, you know. The same sort of satisfaction for the people that do phone those lines. Not me. 0800, the same sort of satisfaction for the people that do phone those lines. Not me. 0800, the hits telephone number. And Aucklanders who are stuck in traffic can just hear these magical travel times. Oh, wow. What a commute. Wow.

That's good. All right. The shortest commute. Give us a call right now. 0800, the hits, 4487 on the text. Traffic chaos in Auckland this morning. The Harbour Bridge is only down to a couple of lanes and that's causing triple the commute time

for a lot of people coming in from the North Shore this morning. Have any of the news outlets done car-tastrophe? Not that I've seen so far. No, that's a crime upon pun if that hasn't been used yet. Now, obviously, we're New Zealand's breakfast. We go all over the country and while we're feeling for the people that are stuck in traffic going over the Harbour Bridge,

there's many, many people listening all over the country that have had pretty quick commutes to work. So we wanted to help those that are in the middle of the commuter chaos at the moment. They can't move. They're not going anywhere. We thought we'd get some travel times from outside of Auckland that they can listen to and dream of.

Oh, wonderful music producer, Juliet. You're welcome. It's like something else you'll wear a full linen outfit for Free-flowing, holding a glass of Cab Sav Wandering through the hills Have we got someone from Auckland on the phone? Someone stuck in traffic Stacey is actually in traffic right now Welcome, Stacey

Hello, good morning Oh, you sound broken, Stacey How long have you been sitting there? Whatever the amount of time it is since 6.15, and I'm only on the bridge now. Oh, okay. That's two hours and 15. Jeez.

Hit the music, Producer Juliet. We'll get some other callers on with you, Stacey. Christine, come on in, Christine. You tell Stacey how long it took you to get to work this morning in Topol. It took me two minutes this morning. Yesterday I was stuck behind a truck and it took me five. Oh, five minutes. Backed up in Topol.

How's that Stacey? Yeah, I'm a bit jealous today. We'll go to Neil in Hamilton. Talk to Stacey, Neil. Ten minutes from home to work and can I go across the bridge too? Oh, ten minutes. Rubs in a bridge too.

Not a good day to play that, you know, hold the breath game over a bridge in Auckland today. Not a good day. Stacey, how's this making you feel? That one. That hit too with the bridge too. He travelled over the same thing you're travelling over right now. Yeah.

Let's go to Selena. Welcome, Selena. You're on the air, New Zealand's Breakfast. How long was your travel time this morning in Palmy? Selena. Oh, well, listen.

She's probably got to work. She's already at work. She's hung up. She hasn't got time for us. We'll go to Brent in South Taranaki. How long did it take you? About a minute and a half. A minute and a half?

Stacey. Wow. Imagine how many minutes and a halves you've been sitting in that car for. How does a minute and a half work? How far are you travelling? Well, it was about a K from the yard. K from the yard. K from the yard. There you go.

A minute and a half. Oh, well. We'll take one. We'll go to Christy. Welcome, Christy. Do you tell Stacey how long it took you to get to work

this morning, matey? Hello. Hey, how long did it take you? Oh, it takes me about a minute and a half to two minutes as well. Two minutes on a bad day?

Ah, yeah. Mmm. Oh, jeez. Stacey, what do you want to say to Christy? Enjoy it. Oh, jeez. Stacey, what do you want to say to Christy? Well, enjoy it.

Oh, I am. Stacey, you're on the line. We're going to send something out for you, all right? Thank you.

Putting up with the pain of that, those calls, and also sitting in traffic. All right, thank you. Good on you,

mate. Thank you for listening. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. This new series on Disney Plus, it's called The Magic of Disney's

Animal Kingdom. It looks incredible. Amazing shots of animals narrated by Josh Gad who's Olaf the snowman from Frozen and it gives viewers a backstage pass to how Disney look after their animals and the person in charge of overseeing the animal care for Disney all around the world is Dr. Mark Penning and he joins us right now over Zoom.

Whereabouts are you, Mark? I am at the amazing Disney's Animal Kingdom in Orlando, Florida. My accent may have led to some confusion. I am, of course, South African and very happy to work at disney's animal kingdom in florida so how did that work for you though how did you go from uh you know growing up in south africa to working uh in disney and disney parks all over the world yeah i was very lucky um that there was an opportunity for me to look at all those things i'm really passionate about, which is amazing animals and amazing people and protecting animals in the wild. And you put all of those things together, combined science and storytelling, and you got me hooked.

And that is the perfect job description for our friend Dr. Mark. But I imagine growing up in South Africa, you take baths and showers with lions and tigers, don't you? You've got a zebra sleeping in your bedroom, don't you? Most days, yeah. I thought so. I thought that's how you guys do it in South Africa. Now, people might not realise, but this new series follows Disney's Animal Kingdom behind the scenes.

Now, that's its own park in Orlando, and it's basically a mix of rides and attractions with animals as well. It's like a zoo inside a park, right? Yes, indeed. It's gorgeous. Now, in the magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom, we wanted to showcase those amazing animals and those spaces they live in with the incredible team of professionals that take care of them. You know, showing that bond between the people and the animals

and listening and learning from the passion that those folks have for protecting these animals out in the wild. Well, that's the thing, because I imagine, you know, for other workers in Disneyland, the end of the day, they clock out, they turn off the roller coaster, they go home. But I imagine for you and your staff, it's a 24-hour job. You can't turn the animals off. That's a fact.

I know that about animals. You're absolutely right. And yes, we're just very lucky to have an amazing animal care team with just the broadest ranges of expertise that you could imagine. And we're very, very lucky. Wow. We've got Dr. Mark with us. He's in charge of animal welfare for Disney Parks.

There's a new series on Disney Plus called The Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom. Animal welfare, does that stretch the Mickey Mouse, Pluto the dog as well? Well, we take great care of them too, just so you know. Okay, that's good to know. What is Mickey like as an employer? Does he run a hard regime?

Do you get enough annual leave? He's a great boss. He really is. as an employer? Does he run a hard regime? Do you get enough annual leave? He's a great boss. He really is. Are you running a bit of a Mickey Mouse operation? That's a good thing in this case. What's the coolest thing for you? What's the most random bit of Disney merchandise you have at home? Because I went to Disneyland, I bought Mickey Mouse salad servers.

So that's who you use to pick up salad. What about you? Oh, my goodness. Gosh, there's a long list, you know. I mean, I'm the kind of guy who collects a T-shirt at every place I go to. So I've got a good collection, you know. You're like Ben Boyce. He gets swept up in the merchandise madness.

But the problem with the salad servers is Mickey's hands. They're not quite designed to pick up Caesar salad. So I don't know. They look amazing, though. They look amazing. Dr. Mark with us is in charge of animal welfare for Disney Parks. There's a new series on Disney Plus called The Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom. Dr. Mark, before you go, the new series looks amazing.

Obviously, you know a lot about animals. We wanted to play a quick game where we just say an animal and you tell us a fact that you know about them off the top of your head, all right? Oh, boy, here we go. Okay, so like zebra. Not the greatest of neighbours. They tend to be a little rambunctious. Oh, okay.

Are they quite loud? Would you call noise control on them? They're a bit rowdy, are they? Yeah, they're noisy and they tend to nip at anything that they feel aggrieved with. Oh, quite bitey in nature. Okay, what about a gorilla?

Oh, fantastic creatures. Interestingly, they suffer similar cardiac challenges as human beings do, which you really would expect, wouldn't you? So we do routine cardiac exams on our animals. Oh, so heart attacks are quite common in the gorilla community. Like humans.

That's right, yes. And yes, correct. So we have trained our animals to be able to do cardiac ultrasounds voluntarily. They just present themselves and we pop grapes into their mouth and they stand there and we can do cardiac ultrasounds to see how the heart is doing. Wow. That is doing. Wow. That is incredible.

So would a surgeon who does open heart surgery on human beings would be able to conduct the exact same surgery on a gorilla? Yes. It's not been done yet to the best of my knowledge, but we certainly use human specialists to come in and help us with procedures that's a little different on an animal. Well, that's fascinating. And finally, Dr. Mark, we'll throw out one more species, kiwi. Do you know anything about a kiwi?

Biggest egg in the animal kingdom, as I recall, but just the most gorgeous creatures, and we've been lucky enough to see only one. Oh, there you go. Listen, to be honest, every time we've gone to see a kiwi, which is only once, we went to the zoo in Auckland and a Kiwi had just been born and it was like you walked into the room and Beyonce was there.

You're not allowed to look them in the eye. You can't make any noise. You've got to put on special booties. You can't do anything to them. They're very precious. Well, again, you know, they come out at night only and it's really easy to give them a fright, you know. So we just want

to treat them with respect, I guess. Fascinating creatures. Dr. Mark, thank you so much for your time today. We can't wait to watch the new series on Disney+. The Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom. It looks amazing. Really appreciate your time this morning. Thank you so much. An absolute pleasure talking to you all.

You folks take care. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. Launch into mess-free Mexican with the new Old El Paso tortilla pocket. Now for an update on people who are living far better lives than the rest of us. Producer Juliet with Spy Entertainment News. Thank you very much.

So Kanye West, he has gone on another little Twitter rant. He was banned from Twitter last week, was he? I think so. Yeah, well, he just comes and goes and comes and goes. He's kind of a bit hard to keep up with, I think. I feel like him and Trump are the only two people keeping Twitter alive. If it weren't for them, Twitter would be down in the doldrums. Yeah, for sure. But he wants to help Taylor Swift buy her master recordings back. So if you're not sure what happened, basically a wee while ago, Taylor Swift was in a bit of a situation where her former boss of her record label sold the record label to a man called Scooter Braun.

And Scooter Braun now owns Taylor's music because of that sale that was made. And Taylor's like, Taylor doesn't want Scooter owning her music because she's like, well, it's my music. Scooter Braun is the manager for Justin Bieber, among other things. And Ariana Grande. So he's a big name in the music industry. Big player, big player. Yeah.

But of course, you've got Kanye, who famously interrupted Taylor Swift. They've always had a bit of a feud. And now he's like, oh, no, I want to help her buy her or I want to help her get her master recordings back so she can own her own music. I mean, it's a lovely gesture. But he's also running for president. He's got a lot on his plate. I don't know if he needed to add this to the to-do list. And surely Taylor's financially, she's probably

okay for a financial thing. Or could we get it negotiated? Is that what he's hoping to do? I think so. Well, maybe, because apparently he doesn't own his own music either, so he's like, the music industry is messed up. He wants to change the music industry, basically. That's very thoughtful.

I mean, last week, last Friday, he posted a video of him urinating on his Grammy Award, which is inside the toilet, which would have been a nightmare for the plumber to get out of the drainage system. Yeah, true. Really? Well, I didn't know. It didn't look like it was flushable, even. No, you couldn't flush a Grammy, I wouldn't have thought. So then after that, who's having to remove it out?

Whose job was it to... That's what I thought too. Is he going to get a glove on and he's going to get it out there? Yeah. Or is he just going and picking it up barehanded? I mean, there's a lot of logistics here.

There's a lot of follow-on questions from us after that. Anyway, I hope he's doing well. Yes, I know. And the Emmy Awards are on at the moment and the winners are being announced slowly. What we do in the shadows, which is the TV adaptation of Taika Waititi

and Jemaine Clement's mockumentary, they're up for a few. Outstanding Comedy Series, Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series and a few others, but the other ones, they unfortunately didn't win that. But holding on to hope for these other two.

And another thing that I thought was quite interesting was the Oscars won two Emmys, which I didn't realise could be a thing. Oh, the Oscars won Emmys. Yes. The Oscars won Emmys. I'll be for the TV coverage of it. Yes. So they won Outstanding Production Design for a Variety Special

and Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Variety Series. So I didn't realise that an awards ceremony could win an award in another awards ceremony. Well, well done to the Oscars. If any awards ceremony deserves an award, it's the Oscars, I would have thought. Now, go back to Taika, too. Your friend saw Taika must be back in New Zealand.

Yeah, my friend works at a store in Ponsonby and she just messaged our group chat, oh my God, guys, Taika Waititi. AMJ, you won't believe who just walked into the shop. I mean, it's awesome that White. I am Jay. He's in store. He just walked into the shop. I mean, it's awesome that Tiger's here, but he does live here,

you know, as well. We shouldn't be surprised that Tiger's in New Zealand. It's great. I would love Tiger, but... I was looking at his Instagram just as the Backstreet Boys were playing,

and he was in a hotel room with his two kids, and he took this photo, and it looked like nine suitcases had just exploded all over the hotel room. There was just stuff everywhere. He was in a hotel room with his two kids and he took this photo and it looked like nine suitcases had just exploded all over the hotel room. There was just stuff everywhere. He was in quarantine for two weeks with two very young kids and I think, yeah, quite a mess.

But yeah, it's a fun time. Yeah, well done for him for handling that. Hopefully he could direct their clothes back into their suitcases. Exactly. And that's five things to Old El Paso. They've got new tortilla pockets so you can launch into some mess-free Mexican. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Today could be the last day of Level 2 for everyone out of Auckland. We'll find out 1pm today what that announcement is in Auckland. In Level 2.5 they might go out. We might go out by Wednesday. We might still be on the Harbour Bridge driving to work.

Who knows? All those things will be decided today. Amen. Tell you what, this is a Monday morning brainstorm meeting. Yes. Thank you for turning up to the Monday morning meeting. Any absentees, they will be noted,

and we'll pass the notes on from this meeting, but we need your input. Yeah, we want to give away some money on the show. You know what would be one of those shows that gives away money? Oh, because it's the bane of radio's life, is finding stuff to give away, isn't it? I mean, we've just been recklessly giving away Hell Pizza vouchers. I don't even know if Hell Pizza are on board, but we keep telling

everyone they've won one Hell Pizza. Hell Pizza are like, we haven't signed up for this, but you just keep giving away our pizza. So, yeah, I don't know. We want to find cash to give away. So, if we go off that theory, let's just say we've got the cash, and it'll sort itself out in the back end. Yeah.

So, we thought, well, let's say, this be a show that, you know, because the shows are doing that at the moment. Oh, listen to us win that. We want to be one of those shows. We want to give away money.

So we're like, let's say $10,000 is a lot of money, right? Let's say we're going to give away $10,000. The show. Okay. You want to win it? Of course, you right now want to win it.

Oh, 800 of the hits if you want to win $10,000 then. No. We don't have the money. Oh. Yeah, that's the thing. You know how you started dialling? Stop dialling.

Stop dialling. Until we've got the money, then you can dial. Look, the phones were already blowing up. They were literally blowing up. Can we get Mike on? Can we get Michael Sharon on? I think I feel like I need to make an apology. Mike, you there?

Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry. I said phone up for $10,000. Turns out we don't Have the money No no that's okay That's okay I've got an idea for you Oh okay

Alright Okay Okay it's off the fly here But You know how it's COVID And everyone's locked down And everything right Yeah

Let's make a video Go around New Zealand Virtual Kiwi places, right? Send it on the net, right? And that's just a taste of New Zealand, right? And that'll promote people to go, oh my God, I didn't know that existed there. Let's do that.

Let's go to New Zealand. And when they can, they'll all come in boatloads. Who are you meant to be phoning up? What show are you listening to right now? It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. Because none of that applies to what we're talking about. But it's great for tourism.

That's genius, Mike. That's a really good idea, Mike. Yeah, I'm probably on half while you're on. Love your work, Mikey. You have a great day, my friend. Okay. So that was the first idea in the brainstorming session. Not going to help us get money,

doing great things for New Zealand tourism. It'll stimulate the economy. Mike's idea is genius. We should forward that on to someone who's actually talking about that. But 0800 the hits. Have you got an idea for us to earn money? $10,000.

Quick cash. Should I sell my kidneys on the black market? Yeah, so if you did that, you'd get 10 grand and we'd give the money away. That's how it works. Yeah, my health would suffer hugely. But that's okay, because at least we'd have 10 grand and we'd give the money away. That's how it works. Yeah, my health would suffer hugely, but that's okay

because at least we'd have $10,000 to give away. Maybe we'll give away Producer Juliet's kidneys. She's got younger, healthier kidneys. You can survive without a kidney. Okay, okay.

That sounds good. So that's an option. Another option is maybe we can rob a bank in a John Owen Ben face mask thanks to kindface.co.nz. Okay, no, don't. Don't associate

arse or kindface.co.nz with that statement. 0800-THE-HITS-4487. The brainstorm is open. So selling my kidneys has been vetoed by Ben. He was a little more open to selling Juliet's, produced Juliet's kidneys. Yeah, I'm open to that. It's fine.

On the black market. Ben, you could get out there and get that body to work. That wonderful body. I don't know what that's going to do, but I don't think and get that body to work. That wonderful body. I don't know what that's going to do, but I don't think, we don't want to lose money. We'll pay you to look at his body. So it's an open brainstorm. No idea's a bad idea. Rowdy, rowdy, row.

You know how this goes. Yeah, you know, just open up the phone line, see what we've got. This is a Hail Mary. This is one of those instances you're like, I don't think we're going to get anything. Well, we'll head to Auckland. Sharon, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you, matey? What's your suggestion, Shaz?

I think kiwi sausage sizzlers. Oh, a sausage sizzle. That's not a bad idea. With John Owen Badd's signature on him. What, so we sign the sausages? Like a vivid or something? A poisonous vivid. New Zealanders love sausages.

And radio, when you start out on radio, don't you? That's all you do. That's how you get footland doors by cooking sausages. I had no business cooking sausages for the public. The amount of raw, uncooked sausages I fed to people. You wouldn't get away with it in 2020, I tell you that. No, that's a joke. Thank you, Sharon. A nationwide sausage sizzle.

Great thought. Becky, you're on the air. How's Christchurch this morning, Beck? It's beautiful this morning, actually. Very nice. Good way to start the week. What's your idea for us making some money to give away? This one takes a little bit of investment first, but if you buy like $100 worth of scratchies and then hope that you get some good wins off that.

Because they always come through, don't they, the scratchies? Yeah, totally. That's not a bad thought. Well, yeah, I guess there's a chance. Has anyone ever won anything off scratchies? Oh, yeah, people win $10,000 from time to time. Oh, text us 4487 if you actually want to see if that's a viable option. Becky, that's a great suggestion. We'll go to

Mike in Lower Hutt. Welcome, Mike. Your thoughts for the show to get 10 grand to give away. Mikey. Mikey. Mikey. If I keep saying Mikey, will he come on? No, no, we've lost him. It's sort of like the more I say Mikey, the less he comes on. Jane, welcome from

Rotorua. What's your idea for the show to get some cash? I reckon you guys should just, like, drive on down to Topor and do the hole-in-one down there with the golfing. Oh, the one on the lake. How much money is that if you get that? I think it is 10 grand if you get the best hole. Oh, okay. All right.

Okay. To be honest, I still like selling Producer Julia's kidneys. Yeah. There's legalities around that. Surely you guys are good at golf. But as far as an input output, you could just one golf ball potentially could win you 10 grand. James, surely you're good at golf. Why do we look like we'd be good at golf?

You're shocking at broadcasting. That's what she wants to say. You must be good at something. Okay. All right. The's what she wants to say. You must be good at something. Okay, all right. The hole in one and toe pool. What we will guarantee is that however we do it, we will get $10,000. What do I guarantee?

What? However we do it, we'll get 10 grand and we'll give it away. We have to make that promise. We've started this journey now, Benjamin Boyce. I don't know if you've read the playblock on a radio story arc, but once you start talking about it, you've got to deliver, my friend. What happens tomorrow if I... Oh, then Jane's gone.

Jane had had enough. I wish I could hang up on myself. All right, well, we'll continue this as we try on our quest to win $10,000 to give that away. Tune in same time again tomorrow. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't call us, we'll call you.

It's the game show that no one's asked for. We phone people and give them the chance to win $40 worth of Hell Pizza first thing in the morning. I know who'll be up. The Moteliers on the west coast of the South Island. We'll give them a call, eh? Phone ringing. Phone ringing. Phone ringing. and we'll give them a call, eh?

Hello, Diana, your sweet slice of West Coast. How are you? I'm very well. Where are you? Diana. Well, we don't really want to say we're in Auckland. No one ever wants to hear that down south. Ben always says, Originally from Masterton.

I'm 100% Auckland though. I'm made up of soy latte and Range Rover. Now it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We just wanted to ask you a few quiz questions. You could win $40 Hell Pizza. They're easy questions. Really? Diana, are you

willing to play Don't Call Us, We'll Call You? Oh! It's the game show no one asked for, no one expected. And no one wants to be on, including us, but we're here anyway. And so are you, Diana. We're going down together. Okay. Here's

your first question for $10 Hell Pizza. David Seymour is the leader of which political party? Is it A, the Lonely One member party, B, the Hen's party, or C, the ACT party? The ACT party. One for one, Diana. You're on fire, baby.

The Hen's party would be a good name for a party. But anyway, next question. The band that sings the songs Don't Give It Up and The Greatest is what? 666, 660 or Six and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me. A, B or C, Diana? All right, B in the middle. Yeah, 660, well done.

Third question. What is the name of Katy Perry's ex-husband, Diana? This might be a little bit out of your demograph, but let's see. Is it A, Russell Brand? Yes. Russell Bland? Russell Muscle? Russell Brand.

Well done, Diana. $30 Hell Pizza. Final question. Dan Carter is a former professional what? A, online identity theft scammer, B, rugby player, or C, rodeo cowboy? Rugby player. Well done, Diana. There you go, $40.

Help eats it just for answering the phone. That's great. Isn't that wonderful? How's the motel on the west coast there in Westport? Oh, we're doing okay, thank you. Enjoying seeing the odd Aucklander coming through. Oh, very nice. Are the Aucklanders odd, are they?

No, she meant the, yeah. I didn't mean that. Oh, because, yeah, we are odd. Yeah, we are. We're a bit odd. But I'm originally from Arsenal. It's been lovely seeing them. Oh, lovely.

You sound lovely. We'll just hold the line. We'll grab your details when we send you out those vouchers. Okay, then. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed.

He's put on his figure-hugging tight wetsuit and taken a deep dive into the ocean of mildly interesting topical stories. Ben Boyce. They reckon there's going to be a bit of commuter traffic delays going on in Auckland today because the Harbour Bridge had a bit of a freak winds, they were calling it, on Friday. Caused an accident with a truck into the bridge. Now, you went across over the weekend. There was just traffic.

I think the first couple of lanes on each side are no longer usable at the moment, right? Yeah, yeah. So I think it's the two inside lanes they've shut off. I went over to the North Shore on Saturday. It was fine going over there. But pretty much the whole day coming back into the city was just completely backed up.

It took like 45 minutes to get over the bridge. I always feel sorry for other bridges in this instance. There's bridges outside of Auckland not getting any coverage. The Waimakariri Bridge has been battling away for years. No one's talking about that. Harbour Bridge rolls in, gets a little bit of an accident.

Yeah, well spare a thought for Auckland who's almost having another luck of lockdown, aren't they? Where people can't get into the city. My granddad actually built

the Harbour Bridge all by himself and he was part of a team. Really? Is this a joke? No, no, it's true. He built a bridge and he got over it built the Harbour Bridge all by himself and no he was part of a team really? is this a joke? no no it's true he built a bridge

and he got over it is this all nice? no but I wish I did think of that he was I saw photos of him health and safety not that prevalent

in the 50s no they were just hanging off there with like they wouldn't even have ropes on they'd just freely walk over it

when they were building it yeah when it was just like steel beams and things better time They wouldn't even have ropes on. They'd just freely walk over it when they were building it. Jeez. Yeah, when it was just like steel beams and things. Wow. Better time, better time. So they reckon if you don't need to go over the Harbour Bridge today,

maybe stay at home, work from home today because the bridge, not so good this afternoon or today. Or build a bridge. Or did you do that? No, I did. Oh, yeah, you can build a bridge. And, of course, the Prime Minister, she's gone around doing stuff, building up towards the election.

And on Radio New Zealand, she did an elevator interview with Charlotte Cook, a reporter there, and she got asked an unusual question about her cartoon crush. My cartoon crush? Probably Deadpool. Yeah, a little unusual.

Deadpool? Oh, Ryan Reynolds. I suppose he's got a splash of red in his uniform. It sticks with her colours, you know. She's a sucker for red. Spider-Man, another option for her. But Ryan Reynolds, good-looking guy, but as Deadpool when he takes off the mask,

because the character's quite disfigured, right? Oh, he's had like a sort of an acid attack on his face, hasn't he? So I was like, oh, okay. Is that what she means? Or is she like the red? Maybe she likes the red suit. Leave the suit on.

Why? Because I don't want to see your face. It's terrifying. Nat Man for Judith Collins, probably Batman. Oh, yes. Yeah,

I can imagine Judy would be into Batman. What's your, who's your favourite superhero? Oh, I do, well I do, Deadpool's pretty cool but then Spider-Man,

Spider-Man would be kind of cool to swing on the webs. Not in New Zealand though, outside of Auckland you couldn't really like. Deadpool's pretty cool, but then Spider-Man. Spider-Man, we're kind of cool to swing on the webs. Not in New Zealand, though. Outside of Auckland, you couldn't really, like... There's not enough buildings. No. Oh, so I did that about Spider-Man.

Yeah, he's great in New York City, but you take him out somewhere else. Put him in a rural area. He's got nothing. Put him in the desert or something. He's like... He's just walking like the rest of us. Yeah, right. He's just a weird guy in a tight suit.

Yeah, if I was the person, his nemesis, I'd be like, meet me, middle of the desert road, you know? He'd be like, oh, okay. You got me. You got me. My weak spot. What am I going to do here? Love that.

Very nice, Ben Boyce. Well done. You should be proud of yourself. It was a good report. A little performance appraisal first thing in the morning to start the week. It was good for a Monday, too. Sometimes Monday's hard to kick into gear and you came through. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Of course, last week we were in the middle of our referendum. The Kiwi Referendum. This is where you guys voted for the most iconic New Zealand thing of all time, your favourite bit of Kiwiana, and it came down to Kiwi onion dip and mince and cheese pies. Oh, it was a wonderful day.

Finals Friday, wasn't it? It was just, you know, moments like that that the world could forget about COVID. It was big. That was a big day. That was a big day. I'm still getting over it. I thought we were taking the piss here, but anyway, it was a big day. We enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. It was a big day, yeah. Clearly you're taking the the piss here, but anyway, it was a big day. I enjoyed it.

It was a lot of fun. It was a big day, yeah. Clearly you're taking the piss. No, it was a big day. For a brief moment there, I forgot we're in a pandemic. It was a big day. She's taking the piss. Anyway, we've got the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern.

She came on just after 8.30 on Friday, and she announced the winner as voted by you. Jacinda Ardern, the winner of Jono and Ben's referendum on the hits is... And the winner is Kiwi Onion Dip. Oh, Kiwi Onion Dip. Oh, taking it out. So we had the Prime Minister. She had nothing more important to do. Yeah, it was awesome that she did it.

Felt like Onion Dip was going to get really high in that competition if not win all the way through. It seemed to be one of the favourites, right? Yeah, it was the number one seed. Up against Lorde, up against Taika Waititi, up against so many other things. Lice of Heaven. It was like, bloody, who was the guy who hit the tennis ball into the lady's throat? Novak Djokovic.

Novak Djokovic. I mean, he was going to win that tournament. All Onion Dip had to do was to whack someone in the throat with a tennis ball. That was the only thing that could have gone wrong. And then we phoned Rosemary Mount. Now, if you don't know Rosemary, she was the inventor of Kiwi Onion Dip had to do was to whack someone in the throat with a tennis ball. That was the only thing that could have gone wrong. And then we phoned Rosemary Mount. Now, if you don't know Rosemary, she was the inventor of Kiwi Onion Dip. She's now retired. And many years ago, she came up with the invention when working for Nestle Maggi.

And this is what she had to say. And we've phoned you up to say that you didn't win. But I don't mind. I just think to be part of it is fun. Well, no, but that didn't work, did it? No. Because you did it. You actually did it.

You actually won. You just took that news way too nicely. Oh, you're joking. No. Sorry, I made this very confusing. Oh, you're joking. Look, I think it's just so incredible. At my age, this is quite something.

It's quite extraordinary. What a sweet lady. She's lovely, isn't she? We're going to try and sort her out a trophy or something, aren't we? Yeah, that's right Yeah, good on you, Rosemary Well done, New Zealand And thank you for voting

It was a fun couple of weeks And now we only have one other thing to vote for It's just something very minor I forgot all my voting's done I'm voted out I've got none left Wake up full of shame Wake up with these guys

It's Jono and Ben on the hits Kia ora, I'm Ash Thomas and this is the Beeping News. Couldn't think of a better way to start the day than with a novelty radio game while we're half asleep. Juliette beeps out certain words from news headlines and we have to try and figure out what they are. Yes, and we have a slightly different news reader today. Boys, can I introduce you, Adam Cooper. He is reading the news and beeps today. Welcome, Coops. Great to have you part of the team, my friend. Come down reading the news in beeps today welcome Coops

great to have you part of the team my friend come down on the sinking ship with us Coops pleasure to have another passenger

on board the *** mask is being called the scariest Halloween costume of 2020 the something mask scariest Halloween

costume of 2020 I'm going to go I'm going to go easy burn first thing in the morning the Jono Pryor face mask. Oh, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Easy burn first thing in the morning. The Jono Pryor face mask. There you go. Oh! I was going to say that about myself.

Damn it. I'm going to say the Winston Peters face mask is being called the scariest. Oh, okay. That would be quite terrifying, but it's something slightly different. The Karen mask is being called the scariest Halloween costume of 2020.

Now, I'll pop this photo on our Facebook page, but it literally is terrifying. It's a mask that covers your whole face. It's got the Karen haircut and just the angriest, grossest looking expression on its face. Ready to complain to a manager in any instant. Absolutely. This has become a big thing. The first time you've heard

about it, Karen is kind of what people term, you know, the middle-aged entitled sort of white woman is a Karen, right? And she'll complain to anyone that will listen. And it does look like someone who would complain, that face mask, right? Yes, exactly. They'd probably complain about the face mask.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Next news headline. Florida City to lift 13-year ban on... I'm going to say Florida City's going to lift a 13 year ban on banning things. Oh yeah? No longer will they ban anything. Well stop now! I'm going to say Florida's going to ban the fact that no one knows that rapper Flo Rida is actually

Florida. Oh, like as in this Flo Rida. His name is Flo Rida. True, true. That makes sense. I didn't know that until recently and it blew my mind that his name was Flowrider. You don't really think about it, do you? And it's Florida.

It just spells because he's from Florida. Yeah. I'm always too entranced in his videos looking at his wonderful pecs. He's got the pecs there, guys. Yeah, he is. Amazing pecs. All right, the actual answer.

Have you seen Flowrider's pecs, Julia? No, I haven't, but I'll do a cheeky Google. Have a goog, have a goog. I will. Florida City to lift 13-year ban on saggy pants. Oh, was this like riding them low? Yeah, it wasn't allowed. What boomer put that law in?

And rips in jeans, short longs, long shorts. Pull your pants. Yeah, you're right. I know. So now all those people in Florida can now ride low their pants. So it's wonderful news for the American. My pants have gone too tight. I'm peeling them off at the end of the day, you know, when they go to the ankles.

Your pants are quite tight, I've noticed that. No, I need to get looser pants. Or make my legs lose weight. Just my legs. And your final. Bus passenger told he cannot wear *** as face mask. Oh, I'm going to say a cricket protective box. You know, the thing that goes over your groin region?

Because someone did that to me as a prank early on in life when I didn't know what it was. Really? I was like, what's this? A cricket practice. It's a face mask. And I was like, oh, weird face mask. And they're like, yeah,

it was the communal box that I put on my face. What? A communal one? Well, you're having the day. What, they shared one? Oh, no, you wouldn't do it nowadays. Well, so the whole team just had one. Yeah, very early on.

This is one box. It was master than Tony Box. I'm going to say bus passenger told he cannot wear a good attitude as a face mask. All right, here we go. Bus passenger told he cannot wear live snake as face mask. Yeah, it's kind of screwed up. So he was just sitting on the bus and he had it just kind of around his neck and around his face.

It was this massive snake and everyone was like, what the hell are you doing? And he's just like, well, it's my face mask. And it was in England and I didn't even realise they had snakes in England. Oh, they do. Yeah, we saw a snake in England. It was around our neck. Yeah. A lady just turned up with it. She'd been carrying it in her bag, they do. Yeah, we saw a snake in England. It was round our neck. Yeah. A lady just turned up with it.

She'd been carrying it in her bag on the tube. Yeah, they wandered around with them. Really? Yeah. My God, that's terrifying. It was a giant python, wasn't it? Yeah, that's right. She had a little container that she put back into her backpack and off she went.

You're like, surely she shouldn't be carrying this around. That's just really terrifying. To be fair, great protection too from COVID to snake is too. And also from any other oxygen as well. Yeah, you're right. Getting into your system. COVID or oxygen can't get in. And people coming close to you, no one's going to come within one metre, two metre distance because you've got a Snake.

This was a smart play. Hey Juliet, you hold your head high. Okay, that was a wonderful edition of the News and Beats. No worries. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Tonight at midnight, everyone outside of Auckland goes out of level two. And then we'll find out also today if the Auckland region will go out of level 2.5 Wednesday midnight. Enjoy level one.

Give us a call and tell us how level one's going for you tomorrow. It'd be really, really nice to get those calls on 0800. Now, the COVID tracker app, speaking of which, have you downloaded the COVID tracker app which traces your whereabouts? So you mean to go in, when you go into places, you mean to, you know, hold it up

and get the barcode scanned so it knows where you're going? Are you quite consistent with it, are you? I'm pretty good. Like, I'm starting to get in the habit, like if you go to a cafe

or if you go to something around or, you know, a shop, you're like, oh, cool, I need to scan in there. But there's ones around work at the office. And people are logging into work. It's like Aaron, who does production here,

great job at production. He also does a great job of tracking into the COVID app. Does he sign into it? Every day at work. Does he? Which I thought was great. I mean. Well, especially if he gets, for example, gets COVID

and they're like, where were you between nine and five, Monday to Friday? Hmm, hold on. I can't quite, I was doing something. I was working. I'm pretty sure I was being compensated for it in some way financially. No, it escapes me. I can't remember who I was. Where were you guys between six and nine in the mornings?

You're like, ooh, hang on. Hold on now, that's a curly one there. Maybe we were playing some pink songs and laughing at things that weren't actually that funny. We actually had to phone the health line yesterday because there was, I think, a positive case on a flight from Christchurch to Auckland on the 11th and my parents flew up.

Oh, really? On the 11th that day, yeah. And we're like, oh, no, we're panicking because my daddy's a bit older and he's got some respiratory issues, you know. He's probably compromised. And phoning the Ministry of Health, very detailed. And it was scary how much they knew

because I was just phoning on behalf of him and they're like, is his name John Walter Pryor? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, was he born? Why are they talking like this his name John Walter Pryor and I was like yeah and they're like was he born on they're talking like this it was quite creepy

I mean was he born on the 3rd of April 1969 I was like I don't know I can't actually remember his birthday

you're better into the meat but the intel they have on people is phenomenal yeah is he currently doing squats

for a workout regime? They knew what they were up to, so don't worry about that. They've got a track on you, even if you're not tracking yourself. Do they have, because I know that your parents got a new iPhone,

remember when we did that prank? Are they good at scanning? Do they know how to scan with the COVID app? Do you know? No, I don't think so. Mum was blowing, I haven't seen it before, the emojis

on her phone. I mean, it's too much phone for them. It is too much phone for the boomer generation. Anyway, I've said that publicly and I've said it to her before. It's got the emoji thing where if you blink or move your face, the emoji follows you. So if someone texts, yeah, so if you text

me and I'm like, that's great, I'll give you a wink. I can wink the emoji and they'll text back to you. A winking emoji. And I'm like, Annie, at what part in your life do you need this?

Do you need an emoji face reader? She could just be there like winking into the fire. Yeah, seductive. I mean, Annie has been sending me some very seductive emojis. Some kissing ones.

Shocking for eggplants and all sorts of things. Like starting your day without your morning coffee it's Jono and Ben on my hits Spy launch into

mess free Mexican with the new old El Paso tortilla pocket she actually graduated secondary school with NCEA Celebrity unfortunately

I didn't grant her an entry into university but it did get her a job which we pay her in promotional bags of chips thank you producer Juliet was Spy it's not a lie we gave her in promotional bags of chips. Thank you. Producer Juliet was by. It's not a lie.

We gave you some promotional bags of chips. Oh, you did. It was wonderful. Yeah, that's... Loaded to them on the weekend. That'll last you till Christmas, mate. Thank you. So Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, over the weekend,

they were in part of this big Zoom call with a bunch of celebrities where they were reading a scene or a script from Fast Times at Ridgemont High over a big Zoom call. And Morgan Freeman was the narrator and Brad Pitt was there. Jennifer Aniston was there. This is all on Zoom call. Yeah. Julia Roberts was there.

And it was so, the sexual tension between Brad and Jen is just unreal. I imagine the clickbait headlines will be Brad and Jen back together. On a Zoom call. On other sides of the world. Oh my God, they're back together. But they had to read a really reasonably steamy scene which made it just all the more awkward.

And Julia Roberts was just giggling throughout the whole thing. Here, have a listen. Her eyes are filled with desire as she says Hi Brad. You know how cute I always thought you were. I think you're so sexy. Angle on Brad in Daydream. In a nice shirt, his hair combed back and looking great.

The words barely escape his mouth. Wait, just a minute. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I did not know anybody was in here. So as Morgan's reading it, it's just, oh, my goodness. Everyone's like, this is just amazing. I did not know anybody was in here. So as Morgan's reading it, it's just, oh my goodness, everyone's like, this is just amazing. I'll tell you what makes it awkward

is Morgan Freeman narrating your love scene. As Ben Muss removed his pants, he was a little fumbly in the bedroom. You could see the nerves in his eyes. And a grown man cried. And a grown man cried. And a grown man cried for lack of performance. He was hoping to get over the three-minute threshold. Unfortunately, two minutes 55.

This is all a bit embarrassing. Oh, well, there we go. That's nice for them. Owe to be a fly on the wall of that. Or even better, owe to be a person with the link to that Zoom call. Oh, unreal. And Dwayne The Rock Johnson, he had to rip his electric gate off from the front of his house

to avoid being late for work. So what happened, there was a power outage and it wasn't opening, so he's like, right, I'm just going to get my muscles here. And he literally ripped it off just so he could get to work on time.

This seems like, has he not heard of a screwdriver? Surely there's a key that can override the system somewhere in the house. Or maybe an Uber and maybe someone could have picked him up

on the other side of the gate. Was ripping the gate off the only answer. He was like, I was reading, he was like, I just had one of those days people were counting on me

and I needed to get to work and decided he just ripped the gates off. He said, not my finest moment, not my finest hour, but just, what happens when the door's shut?

Does he just rip it off the hinges? Window doesn't open, pulls it out of the room? How strong is he though they're big metal gates like I was watching some footage on Instagram that three guys are carrying

one of the gates away oh my gosh like afterwards technicians to get it fixed he says he just ripped two of them off the out of the wall oh I tell you what

Mrs Johnson would not have been happy when he got home can you stop ripping the gate off the hinges yeah that is the most rock thing I've ever sort of you'd ever think of right did he film himself ripping the gate off the hinges? Yeah. That is the most rock thing I've ever sort of,

you'd ever think of, right? Did he film himself ripping the gate off as well? No, no, he didn't. He just took a photo of the aftermath. So I wonder if there'd be security footage. There probably is. He probably has security footage. It'd be like Hulk. Of him ripping the gates off.

Yeah. It just does not seem like there are other options. There aren't many other options. He probably did it for the gram. He was like, got to do this for the gram. It's content. It's a great opportunity. I've got the money to replace it. It's fine. Yeah was like, got to do this for the gram. It's content. It's a great opportunity. I've got the money to replace it.

It's fine. Thank you, Juliet. Well done. No worries. That's Spy. Thanks to Old El Paso, you can launch into some mess-free Mexican with their new tortilla pockets. Not a morning person.

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. I, uh... You shush your mouth, mate. You shush that big, ugly mouth of yours. I love that you're ready. I don't want to hear any words out of New Zealand. You shush your mouth, mate. You shush that big, ugly mouth of yours. I don't want to hear any words out of that mouth. I was just about to say what that wonderful introduction said. The A to Z of New Zealand.

We don't need to say it because we have an intro. Yeah, it's better than I could say it. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day. Today, a place I, to be honest, have never heard of, Granitee. Has anyone heard of Granitee? No, but that's what I love about the A to Z of New Zealand in all seriousness. You do learn a lot about New Zealand.

Each day we ring a different place and you're like, Granitee, never heard of it? Yeah. But now I'd love to find out where it is and what it's all about. Some would say we could have paid more attention in geography class when we were in high school, but now we're getting our geography fixed as fully grown adults. Yes, Granite, it's a small town on the west coast of New Zealand's

South Island. 28km from Westport, you'll find Granite. 235 people live there. And as the name suggests, they are hard as concrete in Granite. They take granite pills for headache, sleep on granite beds for relaxation and punch granite just for a hobby, just for a laugh.

Just for a Wednesday morning. And we're going to go through to Granite right now. This is the cafe. Uncle, what's happening? Hello, have we got hold of the West Coast? You've got hold of the West Coast. Are we near Granite? You're near Granite. Oh, wonderful.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Yeah. What's your name, Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Yeah. What's your name, my friend? My name is Geoff. Geoff, you are running the pub? No, no, no, I just run the cafe. Oh, you run the cafe. What we're doing on our show, Geoff,

is we're phoning every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing one a day, and it's Granite's turn today. Well, we're Ngaka Wa, which is Granite Ngaka Wa Hika. Oh, right, so how far away from Granitee's turn today. Well we're in Ngaka War which is Granitee, Ngaka War, Hector. Oh right, so how far away from Granitee are you? We're sort of the end of Granitee, it goes, as you come around the coast you go Granitee, then you get into Ngaka War

itself and then you go across the bridge and you're in Hector so there's three little mining towns used to be mining towns, you know, in the day. Jeez, I tell you what, you sound like you've swallowed the South Island. Your voice. Oh, it's great. You wouldn't get a more southern voice.

Oh, that's probably coffee and cigarettes, guys, as you guys would know. Now, looking at Granite, it looks like a slice of paradise. Looks almost untouched. Pretty much so, yeah. What's there to do there? If you come down, what could you do? White baiting, fishing, mountain biking, tramping, yeah. What's there to do there? If you come down, what could you do? White baiting, fishing, mountain biking, tramping, hunting. Smoking cigarettes.

If the surf's right, you get, you know, there's not a bad break actually just off here by the river mouth. Okay. And are you a surfer? No, no, no. I work seven days a week, guys. I don't go white baiting. I don't go fishing.

I run the cafe seven days. Seven days? When was the last time you had a day off? Would have been Christmas Day. You've been working since Christmas Day. You're a machine. Well, someone's got to be here because people, you know, they want fish and chips or they want a coffee or not want to do fancy coffee.

Oh, you don't know. I was going to say, us Aucklanders, we come down here with like an almond latte or something like that. No, sorry, guys. You'll be getting either Instant Plunger or the Makona Jarrah or Avalanche. And if you're lucky, I might treat you to a Nescafe Gold. What's your specialty? What's the dish that you're most proud of?

Well, the most popular thing down here is the fish and chips because we use rig, you know, the shark. Oh, right. And people love it. I've had people from Australia, when they could come in, one guy, he kept coming back. When he'd come down and visit his family in Westport, he'd say to them, no, no, no, no, no,

we're driving out to Knockawool, Greenerby, we're going to get some of that West Coast rig. And I'd say to him, but mate, you've travelled and eaten fish all around Australia. You know, you've had barramundi, you've had coral trout, you've had all those sort of fish. He goes, yeah, but for fish and chips,

no, your rig is the best. Wow. You've got a good rig. You've got a good rig. You've got a good rig. Do you like the blue cod? I love the blue cod. Yeah.

You know, I spent a lot of time when I was younger up the Marlborough Sounds and that was our staple diet. Yeah, that's a lovely, fresh-tasting fish, isn't it? Oh, it's just beautiful. Yeah, lovely. Okay, so if we're ever in town, we'll come and get an instant coffee. Come and have a feed, guys.

Come and have a feed. And a fish and chips, some rig and chips. Hey, look, I'd better carry on, fellas. No, you're busy. You're on your own. We understand. Lovely talking to you. Okay, take care, guys.

See you, mate. Bye. Okay, cheers, guys. Cheers, Ben. See you, mate. Bye. Want, Ben. See you, mate. Bye. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Before we go, we'd like to bring some positivity to New Zealand. Hey, feeling good? Why is it going to be a good day for you? We want you to tell us and tell the nation why it's going to be a good day. Bring some positivity. We need it a bit today because Shippen's shocking commutes for many people coming to work today.

That's right. Let's look on the positive. You know, while you're stuck there in your car, you could be at work. Yeah. So you're in your car. Well, true. That's a positive thing.

I guess that is a positive thing. Isn't it? Yeah. If you had the option right now to be in a car or right here with me, your mate, banging away at you for three hours in the morning, from six in the morning to night. I don't know what you want me to say now because you're just saying the car was always... Yeah, where would you rather be?

The car. Hanging out, eh? The car. Oh, okay, interesting. Oh, no, this segment's all about positivity. Here with you at work, so yeah. Thank you, Ben. Yeah, but we know he really needs the car.

Mandy, you can kick this thing off today, eh? Why's it going to be a good day for you and Sunny Nelson, Mando? Well, today is my mum's 80th birthday. And we didn't expect to have her around. She was supposed to pass in January. And she's fought hard to make it to this milestone. So, yeah. Well, that's awesome.

That's great. Got anything exciting planned for today? Not too much. She is in palliative care, but I've had all her friends send me little letters and little stories about growing up with mum. And I've made her a jelly cake because that's really all she can eat at the moment. Oh, listen. Jelly. We'll just spend some time with her.

Oh, that's lovely, Mandy. Well, happy birthday to your mother. What's her name? Barbara. Barbara. Happy birthday, Barb. Happy 80th. Jelly, that's lovely, Mandy. Well, happy birthday to your mother. What's her name? Barbara. Barbara. Happy birthday, Barb. Happy 80th. Jelly?

You never eat enough jelly, do you? No, I don't think so. I think Mum has proven that jelly is the be all and end all of life. Yeah. Well, you have a beautiful day. Thank you for that special call. And we're going to flick out something as well. She'll make your day hopefully a little bit better as well.

Thank you very much. All the best. That's how it works. Thanks, guys. 0800, that's the telephone number. Why is it your day hopefully a little bit better as well. Thank you very much. All the best. That's how it works. 0800, that's the telephone number. Why is it going to be a good day in your life? It can be as big or as small as you want. 4487, why is it going to be a good day for you? We'll head to Nelson.

Our friend Olivia's on the phone. How are you, mate? I'm good, thanks. What's happening today? I'm actually on my way to work, but it's going to be great because it's not taking me two and a half hours to get to work. Oh, you're not in Auckland.

Olivia's happy not being in the North Island right now. How long does it take you to get to work, Liv? It takes me about half an hour from Montjuic or across to Nelson. Oh, a breezy half hour, you know. I know. It takes people half an hour to move half a metre at the moment on the Harbour Bridge. And listen to that laugh.

Listen to that South Island laugh. As if it's not enough that we're all level two in Auckland. 2.5. 2.5? You're going to level one? Yeah. Well, that sounds like it's going to be the case. You have yourself a great day, right?

Okay, thank you. We'll flick out something as well, too. Ben always likes flicking stuff out to people. He doesn't know what he's flicking out, but he's flicking you something out. What am I flicking out? I don't know what I'm flicking out. You just recklessly flick stuff out all morning.

It's six o'clock. I just get in here and just say, I'm flicking it out to you. I'm flicking it out of the air, flick it out of the air. Who has to tidy up your flicking mess? Some poor bugger out there. Producer Juliet, I apologise if you're having to deal with my flicking out of stuff. No worries at all. I just deal with it behind the scenes, you know?

Amanda's on the phone. Amanda's on the phone from Matamata. Why is it going to be a good day for you, Mandy? Because I'm breathing, I'm alive. I've got gorgeous kids that are doing well at school. And, yeah, and it's sunny where I am. Oh, nice. Breathing and alive.

You know, you've got to appreciate the little things in life, don't you, Amanda? Take a moment, yeah. I haven't once thought about how I'm breathing today. Now I am, now I am. Yeah, and I've raised my son on my own, so I've done well with him, and I got a report back that I'm doing well, and I'm, yeah, sorry.

That's awesome. Don't apologise, Amanda. Yeah. You all right, mate? Yeah. Aw. Yeah, I raised him by myself, and I'm proud of myself, and yeah.

Oh, mate, you should be proud. You should be proud. You should be proud. You should be proud. You've done a bloody good job Amanda and you should be very proud, okay? So thank you so much

for listening and you have a wonderful Monday. You too. Love your work, mate. Hey, next on... Oh, hold the line. I was going to say I was going to flick

something out to her. Ben will flick you something out to her. Yeah, sorry. The chair's stacked on that one. What a lovely call. Hey, tomorrow on the show, Carl Urban,

Kiwi Hollywood actor, Carl Urban, he joins us on the program he's got a new series of The Boys coming out yeah the Boys looks awesome

and you forget how many amazing movies he's been in Carl Urban over the years everything from Star Trek Bourne Lord of the Rings as well so Carl Urban

is joining us in the studio tomorrow we'll catch you tomorrow from 6 what more Jono and Ben you can wake up with the Boys weekdays from 6

on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app Jono and Ben on You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on The Hits. And via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny.