Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlight: Disciplining someone else's child... Yes or No?

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Hiccup hacks. Jonos expensive bin Things you can say in the bedroom and on a plane. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Heading into the weekend, a lot of people, a lot of smart people took the Monday off. Yeah, you're listening to three people who weren't smart enough to do that. But hey, that's life. You know, you have some wins and losses. We were just talking about that on the way to work, and Producer Taylor, she's punishing herself by asking everyone, are you taking, g'day Cobber, are you taking Monday off?

And everyone's like, yep. And she's just winding herself up a bit. You just need to come to terms with the fact we're not, Taylor. We don't. But that's all you do is you come back to work and you try and figure out ways how you can manipulate the system into not doing any work. That's right.

But yesterday, Megan, we had a little bit of a morning tea for our boss here, Harriet, at work, who was having a big birthday, right? Yeah, it was her 30th. So we did a little bit of a morning tea for our boss here, Harriet, at work, who was having a big birthday, right? Yeah, it was her 30th. So we did a high tea. I made her some Afghans, brought them from home. What did you guys make? Andrew made the Afghans, but anyway.

I made the Afghans. We made our presents known. Can I just say, the format of the surprise party, it's awkward. And I hope the people who the surprise is for do appreciate the awkwardness that the room full of people have experienced in waiting for them to open. And I would say the office morning tea

surprise party would have to be up there as one of the most awkward. You know, no one's pre-loading, there's none of that going on. No, you're just standing around quietly waiting for the door to open and every time everyone walks in, you're like, oh no. Nothing worse than walking in and everyone going oh yeah but it was a Harriet's birthday and there was a large balloons uh number three and a number zero because she's 30 and you were

quite concerned more concerned about where these balloons were going than the actual party. I was into the party. I brought Afghans. The first thing you said is, oh, 30th numbered balloons. What are you doing with those afterwards? And it's her birthday. Her birthday lasts all day. You're like, what's happening with those? She hadn't even come in to experience the balloons yet. No, you're already asking around what's going to happen with the birthday.

Now, we knew for a while why you're asking that, because today your husband, Andrew, is turning 30. It's his birthday yeah so I was gonna recycle them we're having um everyone's so young around here young and vibrant aren't they I'm having like a little luncheon this Sunday so I was like they'll last helium they'll last a few more days so I was like what's what's happening with these balloons after this no it doesn't mean you love Andrew any less, handing him secondhand deflated balloons. Do you know how much we've already spent on this bloody party?

It's not even a nighttime thing. It's a daytime thing. So it's not spending more on balloons. And for you, this is a once-in-a-lifetime where you can capitalize on a milestone birthday with specifically numbered balloons. Free of charge. This is never going to happen to you ever again. And saving the environment rather than buying new balloons, they're getting reused.

Don't worry, Taylor Swift's ruining it by flying her private jet around the place to the Super Bowl. Don't even give Harriet our boss the option of taking them home for her birthday the rest of the day. You just took them out, you walked out of the room with them. I asked her and she said, yeah, sure. I think everyone thought I was joking until I was like trying to jam them into my car. Those balloons are going to look miserable by Sunday, though.

A little bit saggy. They're going to look like my skin by Sunday. More miserable than producer Taylor who doesn't have Monday off. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The Super Bowl is happening on, well, another week's time. I was going to say Monday, but it's Monday week, actually, New Zealand time.

And one of the cool things about it is all the commercials. Does Taylor Swift might be there? Yeah, well, Taylor Swift, that's exciting. She might be flying there very much all over her schedule. But the commercials are really good.

Now, you might have seen a few months ago the David Beckham documentary on Netflix. It was really cool. And they had this iconic moment that went around that he interrupted her of his wife victoria beckham working class be honest i am being honest i am being honest did your dad drive you to school so my dad no my dad

all right it's not a simple answer because what What car did you get your dad to drive? It depends. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, in the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce. Thank you. She was trying to say she was working class and he was like, hey, be honest. Yeah, it's a bickering, bickering relationship.

That's the sound of a husband who's like, damn, I won that argument. And the whole world saw it. And that doesn't happen often, I tell you. But they have taken the piss out of that and taken the piss out of themselves with a Super Bowl commercial for Uber Eats. Have a listen.

We're going to be in a little commercial. Be honest. I am. Honest. Okay, it's a big commercial. Tell them what it's during. David, I'm trying. No, tell them what it's during.

Okay, it's during the big baseball game super big baseball game oh was it the hockey ball hockey hockey ball oh and tell them about jessica aniston jessica aniston is going to be in it too thank you also the visual you're missing is that she's wearing a t-shirt That says my dad has a Rolls Royce Or had a Rolls Royce Very funny ad Why are they not mentioning the Superbowl? I'm guessing it's a copyright thing Yeah or maybe Uber Eats has to pay more to mention it

I don't know And then why is Jennifer Aniston being called into question there? Yeah but it's not Jessica I guess maybe they just went wrong through the whole thing Unless there's a follow on ad Well maybe There might be a full follow on ad Yeah, but it's not Jessica. It's like they said it wrong. So I guess maybe they just went wrong through the whole thing. Oh, yeah. Unless there's a follow-on ad.

Well, maybe. There might be a full follow-on ad in the Super Bowl. You might be right, actually. We were in the creative brainstorm. No, we actually were in the Uber Eats ad a few years ago, weren't we? Oh, we were. Yes, it was Stan Walker. Stan Walker.

Do you know? That's right. Randomly. Stan was probably like, why are these guys here? Even we were like Why are we here He was like I'll have a coffee thanks As soon as we turned up

We were like Oh no no We're in the air with you Do you know the two takeaways From filming an Uber Eats commercial Yes Number one The

Fifteen hundred dollars Uber Eats credit We got given on our accounts Dangerous Dangerous He would have people over For dinner parties And be like

What do you want And they would say Oh I don't know What do you want He's like No you order from any cuisine And he would have people over for dinner parties and be like wow what do you want and they would say oh i don't know what do you want he's like no you order from any cuisine and he would have five different restaurants it didn't last long i feel like pizza like get get done sorted somebody goes oh i feel like tight sorted no worries mexican great over there and we're done i just look like a legend for like two dinner parties and then that was it that was one take The other takeaway was they had a hand pass you a bag, an Uber Eats bag in the commercial.

Now the hand, the owner of the hand, he'd been flown over from Australia just for his hand job. He was an actor. Are you joking? He was an actor and he was like, I'm the Uber Eats hand. He's the guy. He's the official hand that hands things over. Wow.

It was a good hand. It was a good hand. It was a good hand. I felt like New Zealand might have had just as good of hands. I don't know. Was the hand being taken care of? Like, did he have to moisturise? Did it have a little pillow? It looked well.

The nails looked well tended to and everything. Well tanned hand. Couldn't have my manky sort of purple hand. It's the sweetest acting job I've ever had. Amazing. Flying to New Zealand to hand over a bag that no New Zealander could do. No hands here. We're up for the task.

Emma Healy, she's a self-professed super saver. She's the founder of Mums Money NZ, which has some great tips on saving money. She's teamed up with Woolworths to help launch the new loyalty program to replace the one card. A really interesting story, though, with Emma. And she joins us right now. Emma, you left your high-paying corporate job to try and do as little work as possible? I did.

We did, yes. We decided to get smart with our money and make it work for us rather than us the other way around so much. And it made some pretty huge changes to our life and kind of achieved financial freedom i guess oh god that sounds frightening i know it is scary but it's been worth it so make more money now than as a stay-at-home mom than you did when you're working in the corporate world yes i do which is still a complete shock to me i know makes no sense gotta back yourself hey like we've got to do it more. Are you doing anything fun in your life? Like, do you have to cut back on some things that you're like,

I really wish I could be doing that? No. Last week, I just came back from Malaysia. We were there for a month with the kids for school holidays. Wow. You know, Malaysia's a really budget-savvy destination. What do we do? Are we trading in crypto?

Oh, no, no, no. No, just working online, no, no. No, just working online, saving, investing. I mean, I'm sitting here talking to you in my 24-year-old Toyota Corolla, so clearly don't care about cars that much. Saving on the stuff that's not important and spending on what is important. Oh, good on you. And so what are you doing online in terms of income?

I have some websites. I run some advertisements. I do lots of random stuff. Lots of stuff. Lots of writing. That's awesome. People driving to work right now are going, what am I doing with my life?

They're probably driving past me in much nicer cars. But I mean, yeah, it's just choosing what's important and prioritizing that. What's your tip for someone who's teetering, going, I'm not yeah, it's just choosing what's important and, you know, prioritizing that. What's your tip? Someone's teetering, going, I'm not happy in my job. Well, I would first save a fund. Some people might call it an FU money fund to get out of dodge, basically. Save some money and then make a plan.

You know, go get a job that they love. You don't need to work in a job that you don't like. Start a business or do something you've always wanted to do. Take a few weeks out and just have some time to think. But the thing is, all of this is only really possible when you've got some money behind you, a bit of savings to just tide you by. So it's starting with those, reducing your spending, that's where it always starts.

And then you get more options. And another way we can save money as well, that you've also teamed up with Woolworths, who were Countdown, and they've got a new replacement to the OneCard. Yes. So I was very excited to get a bit of a preview into the Woolworths Everyday Rewards Program.

Saving money is my main focus, because obviously you can't always control how much you earn, but you can always, a lot of the time, control how much you spend. So I was pretty excited to see these offers that they're launching with this month. Just download the app. You're going to get 1, they're launching with this month. Just download the app, you're going to get 1,000 points free

for just downloading and signing into the app and you use your one card sign-in details. It's all very simple, it just carries across. Ben Boyce, you don't mind saving a dollar. He tried to sort of smuggle his own popcorn into the movie theater and it was coarse. Yeah, what do you think of that?

Would that be on Mum's Money NZ on your site, you know, like on your social media? I'm all for that. My mum actually got Hoyts to change their signage when I was about 12 because they pulled her over for bringing in her own popcorn, and she was like, there's no signage. This is Hoyts in Christchurch. And I was like, yeah, 12 or 13.

And I was so embarrassed. There's no signage. And now they put signage up after her, so that's her claim to fame. Oh, don't bring in outside food. No, exactly. Cozy, your mum, what's a good tip? Because obviously a lot of families around the country are feeling the pinch at the moment, especially over the last couple of years.

Have you got one good tip or some tips in general that you can pass on? I mean, I think that small, tiny cost reductions do add up. But the most important thing is to have a goal. I feel like saving without a goal is really hard for anyone because it just feels like a grind. So when you are making little savings with these everyday rewards, bonuses, or any other savings you make, have a little special savings account. I make a separate bank account. I call it my cash stash. And just put the $2 that you save on your brown onions or the $3 that you save on your petrol into that account and then use it however you want to use it.

Something that's really important for you just to make sure that you've got that sort of fun stash of money. Also, before you go shopping, use apps like Grocer. Grocer for groceries, Gatsby for petrol. Just being real conscious of how you're spending your money. Actually thinking, I'm about to make a transaction. Which way can I do this more efficiently? Or rather than sort of being mindless about, you know,

tapping your phone or tapping your card and then at the end of the day going, oh, my gosh, where'd my money go? The old pay way, the old tap and go, dangerous. It's way too easy. We're good on you. Congratulations. Really appreciate your time, Emma. Thank you so much.

And you can check out my tips on mumsmoney.co.nz if anyone wants to find out more. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The minimum wage in New Zealand is set to increase by 2% to just over $23. $23.15 in the coming months. That's good. That's good. The minimum wage, geez,

I remember when I first started working, it was a couple of shillings for a day's labour out there on the penny farthings there being boys. Obviously, it needs to increase with the cost of living, inflation, righty-righty-right. But yeah, wild. You'd get paid.

I remember delivering the New Zealand Herald paper run, and I think I was on probably about $7 a day. Wow. Now you work for them. For a whole day, $7? Well, $7 a day. Wow. Now you work for them still. A whole day, $7? Well, $7 a morning. So I was a preschool sort of, before school. Yeah, before school sort of thing.

And then poor Annie Pryor, there were many mornings where I was like, Mum, I can't be bothered riding around with 40 kgs of papers on my BMX. And she would chuck the papers in her boot, and I would sit in the boot, and then that really in the boot and then that really took the labour out of the job, which was fantastic. Now, yesterday someone was suffering hiccups in the office. They just come up. How do hiccups eventuate?

I don't know. It's to do with your diaphragm. Oh, is it? I get hiccups all the time as an adult. Are you quite hiccup-y, are you? Yeah. What does that mean about me? I don't know. Good diaphragm. Literally every week I get the hiccups all the time as an adult. Are you quite hiccup-y, are you? Yeah, what does that mean about me? I don't know.

Good diaphragm. Literally every week I get the hiccups. Active diaphragm. Every week? Yeah. I can't remember the last time I had the hiccups. No, you do, and sometimes they last for ages, don't they? Sometimes they really hurt, like if you've just eaten

and everything comes up and down, up and down. But it's one of those things that everyone has their own special solution for. And so when they see a hiccup victim, everyone's out of the goodness of their heart is trying to help. Stand on your head and phone your mum and hold your breath sort of thing. And no one solution is the same as the next one. My ones get your fingers on your temples, rub your temples, drink a glass of water at the same time.

Oh, really? Yeah, that's my hiccup solution. Yesterday there was a whole load of crazy ones being thrown out there. Share your internet history with all of us. That didn't stop the hiccups. I don't think anyone said that. It was an entertaining read. Anyway, do you have a hiccup solution?

Not really. I mean, hold your breath. I do feel like they're just, they're probably just going to go. So I just go, oh, well, they're going to go. So I'll just wait it out. Because I don't even feel like anything that I've ever done has got rid of it.

Like go, oh, hold your breath. And you're like, oh, great, that's done. I feel like all of them are breathe, they're supposed to make you relax your breathing because it's your diaphragm contracting, right? So I just end up going, holding my breath and sucking in, and then they go away.

Okay, so what we're going to do here is we're going to find the show's single hiccup solution. Okay, this is the one that we will take forward. This will be like our show joke that we have, Ben. This will be the one hiccup solution that we can pass on to anyone. Okay, so any hiccup victim. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

We want to know on 0800 The Hits, what's your cure for stopping hiccups? Great ones coming through all the texts, 4487. We want the show cure because there's probably in the hundreds of solutions out there. Sip ice cold water, reads one text. Pull up your knees towards your chest. Lean forward. Hold your breath. So sort of in a fetal position, rocking back and forth on the office floor there if you get them at work.

So we can't test now if any of these work, can we? No, well, none of us have hiccups. No, so we have to kind of go, well, that's the one we like, and we'll test it next time. I think simplicity needs to be a factor. I hope that works, though. That's my only thing. You said you can drink water upside down. Yeah.

So you tip over. So your head's facing the floor kind of. And then you put the down lip. It's very hard to explain. You're nailing it though. Keep going. And then you have to try and drink a glass of water upside down without spilling it. And that apparently gets rid of them.

Maybe it's the concentration. Yeah, maybe it is. Painting pictures with words. Megan Pappas. Well done. Let's get Aaron on, shall we? The show's hiccup remedy. What's it going to be, Aaron? If you have a concept of money, then

all you need to do is show them like $5 or something like that and tell them if you pick you up again you show them like $5 or something like that and tell them if you picked you up again, you can have the $5. Oh, bribery. This is, a similar thing has worked for me. So someone literally went ring, ring, ring, ring. I had to answer the phone, like a pretend phone, and I stopped hiccuping.

It's something to do with, and they were like, someone else said like, I'll give you a million dollars if you hiccup again. And you sit there going, I'm trying to hiccup, and they don't come back. Similar concept to this. Reverse psychology sort of thing. Yeah. So you can kind of trick yourself into not having them. Because you're trying to hiccup again, maybe?

Cash bribery even works in the hiccup world. Thank you very much, Jeff. We'll get you on With the show's hiccup solution We're going to land on one very shortly Yeah hi If you get someone to block your ears And then scull a glass of water

I'll tell it for my mother Right so you need someone Pretty close to you I imagine And you probably have to have a certain level of relationship To ask them to stick their fingers inside your ears. Yeah, well, you can block your own ears and they can pull the water for you. Okay, so blocking ears,

sculling water, alright. What's your favourite so far? Kind of like the money one. Yeah, the money one's quite good. Do you get the money if you stop pick-upping? We'll see. Melanie? Melanie, she's coming in with a bribe one too. What are you saying?

Oh, you just get somebody in the room. If you're in the room and somebody starts hiccuping, you just say to them, I'll pay you a million dollars and they can't do it again. Yeah, someone did that to me. Pay a million dollars to hiccup. And it literally worked. Even though they're hiccuping.

I like that. Well, I feel like I'm going to be hanging out a million dollars. No, because you sit there. Maybe it's a breathing thing again, trying to hiccup. You're like. Maybe it's a scale it back, Ben, to, let's say, $20. Is that all right for you now? Yeah, I like $20.

I'll give you $20 if you hiccup again. Because you don't love someone that much that you want to see their hiccups gone. Okay, let's do that. But that's the show's hiccup remedy. Yeah, okay. A million dollars or $20, just whatever the budget allows. We'll test that out and we'll let you know. And if you get hiccups today,

test it out on someone or yourself. Film it. Yeah, film it. We'd love to hear from you. We'd like to look back at something iconic on a Friday, and this week the iconic Kiwi brand, Trumpet, 60 years old. 60 years, pretty impressive, eh? Well, they had an iconic ad in 1991, didn't they?

The Rachel Hunter. Yeah. Where she's in the Vida Beetle. I think it felt like a lot of land transport safety rules were being broken. Didn't they have a seatbelt? I think it was back in the day land transport safety rules were being broken. Didn't have a seatbelt. I think it was back in the day. She was sitting on top of the car. Yeah, driving around. With a seagull to the face.

Imagine the social media on. Oh, where's the seatbelt? That being put online now. Imagine we've turned into a nation of gnarking, moaning people now, haven't we? But you're right. It was a huge, huge thing for Rachel Hunter. New Zealanders. 20 million trumpets a year.

20 million. An average of 6.5 per person. Wow. Is how much. And in the factory where they make them, they spit out 160 trumpets a minute. The machine. Those are good stats, man.

Those are really good stats. So we're having, what, six trumpets a year? 6.5, so half. So you couldn't eat it all. I don't think I've had six and a half trumpets in a year for a long time so someone's really bolstering my numbers

yeah like I enjoy a trumpet you know like I do six and a half a year I can't remember the last time I had a trumpet kids would probably I imagine kids eat

a lot more ice creams they're getting the numbers up probably getting the numbers up but you know half maybe I'm the half I'll just have a half but yeah

6.5 on average. Do you remember the jingle with Rachel Hunter? This is from VHS, by the way. We loved it. We loved the big jazzy show band jingle, didn't we?

A waffle cone, smooth, creamy tip-top ice cream, chocolate and nuts, fancy tip-top trumpet. Imagine being the voiceover. Yeah, we loved a big show band jingle and a deep-ass voiceover, didn't we? They had a couple of great ads, didn't they? Obviously the Rachel Hunter one, which is that one, but then the Undies Undies togs was that trumpet was that yeah i know maybe that was the i thought it was for underpants no that was for trumpet i think we got that round trumpet simplifying summer how far away from the beach do togs become undies skin tight swimming togs an item of clothing you'd happily wear in public but not in public so how far is too far let's begin dogs dogs

togs togs togs togs togs togs togs togs undies undies undies it's really good wasn't it where a guy was working walking from the beach in the speedos where you know it's comfortable spot to wear the speedos if you're into speedos and then just keep walking and it reminds me of like the mount you know you're at the beach and then the just keep walking. It reminds me of, like, the Mount, you know? You're at the beach, and then the shops are right there. I think that's where it's filmed, actually. Right, okay. He had a wonderful Speedo body, that guy.

Lovely long legs, long torso. Kim Crosbyn's husband. Yeah, yeah. Is it? Married to the Trumpet. They were about to get married, yeah. They got married to Tom, yeah. To the Speedo guy.

Yeah. That's him. Yeah. Well, there you go. Happy birthday, Trumpet. And just if we're talking about ice creams as well frosty boy i don't know what celebration frosty boy is having today do you remember frosty boy i remember frosty and a great jingle as well

really good and uh he had a quite a controversial catchphrase at the end too often likes never Really good. And quite a controversial catchphrase at the end too. Often looks never beaten, which has really had some sinister connotations as years have gone on. Now, Taylor Swift, a lot of talk about her schedule over the coming weeks as she goes back into touring. She also goes to the Grammys. She's trying to make her way to the Super Bowl. A lot of time on the plane, heading around the world. Yeah, but that's what you do for love, right?

Everyone's hoping that she's going to go to the Super Bowl. If she doesn't now, it's going to be a huge disappointment because her itinerary has been planned for her. Everyone's like, you can do it, you can do it. What you do for love, Megan, is you play five sold-out shows in Tokyo and you kick your private plane to the Super Bowl. That's what you do for love. That's what we all do, right? Yeah. But we threw this out on social media,

and we got a great response. We do this every week now. We basically say, you tell us things you can say in the bedroom and dot, dot, dot. And this week we thought, because Taylor Swift is spending a lot of time on a plane, things you can say in the bedroom and on a plane. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, Ben,

but I think the idea that you've come up with is to make normal things sound rude. Yeah, that's kind of the point, right? It does sound like that, yes. Yeah, okay, so things you can say in the plane, in the bedroom? Yeah. Come at us with your highbrow content here. All right.

Please get yourself in the brace for impact position. That's quite good. There's been some good ones on social media too. Please exit through the front or back. There's another one

saying your nearest exit may be behind you. I'll have the nuts thanks. Please help others before helping yourself. It'll always work nuts, thanks. Please help others before helping yourself. It doesn't always work on both occasions.

I'm sorry, sir, you haven't paid for the works. Welcome aboard. That's kind. That's a nice landing strip. Have you got enough leg room there? These are very contiguous. The things you can say in the bedroom and also on a plane Megan Please pay attention to the following

safety demonstration What are you doing if you need a safety demonstration Permission to enter the cockpit Hold on it's going to be a bumpy ride I'm going to need that in the upright position You're right they did sound a lot ruder didn't they We didn't take it out of play context.

Was that the point of that? Yes, it was. Thanks so much for your help. We'll put our favourites back on the Hits Breakfast Instagram and Facebook. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Good on you. Now, Megan, yesterday you did something which I've never done. Something I've always dreamed of doing, but never had. I've dreamed of this.

Have you dreamed of doing it? It's of i've dreamed of this have you dreamed of doing it it's probably not something i would have ever done um before like i thought i would do before i had children you know you could do it but you look like a monster yeah that's it oh hey now you say what you did okay i feel like you're throwing me under the bus i feel like i'm gonna get absolutely torn apart for this no you probably won't to be honest. So I was at a playground. I'll give you ages because I feel like that's important. My son is almost three and he was on a playground and I'm not good at ages of other kids.

Maybe they were like six or seven. And they were all fighting for the slide. And that's when these six or seven-year-olds got a little bit aggressive and pushed past little bastion poor defenseless little guy mama lion mama lion comes out fair enough you're protecting a few times they were pushing past him and being a little bit rough on the slide and you know it's high up and stuff and bastion he didn't do anything but he did look at me with these little puppy dog eyes being like you're gonna let them treat me like that now's your time to step up so i the thing is i couldn't see a parent

there wasn't anyone close lingering by that was definitely their parent and they weren't doing anything about it so you went and pushed the kid off the slide no i waited till they got to the top and i pushed them down no i went over once they were down the bottom of the slide. I went up real close to them and I just said quietly, if I see you do that again, there's going to be trouble. That's Liam Neeson-esque. Which I guess now is kind of a threat. Quite.

Very frightening as well. You don't want to make it too aggressive because if you go over and whisper something to them and they start crying, it's obvious that you've been threatening. So I just said, if I see you do that again, there's going to be trouble. Yeah. And you're talking, but do it with a smile on your face so the other parents can't see what's coming. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. Oh, she's being nice to that little boy. Yeah. Or you go stand near them and you look somewhere else. You don't look at them. I will end you. Yeah. Yeah. Did a little kick in the shins or anything like that? Yeah, as I walked away. Yeah, good you go stand near them and you look somewhere else. You don't look at them. I will end you. Yeah. Yeah.

Did a little kick in the shins or anything like that? Yeah, as I walked away. Yeah, good on you. I don't know. I don't know. It just feels, I understand you've got to protect your kids and, you know, that you do get your back up if, you know, if someone is being mean to your child,

but it's telling off another child. Have you ever told off another person's child? No, no. No, I feel like maybe would the step-beger go talk, find a parent with that? Would that be? There was no one around, Ben.

They kept doing it. They had ample opportunity to step in and teach their children better playground etiquette. Yeah. But they did not. You just,

you definitely caused some lifelong trauma there. He went back, he's like, she seems so nice on the radio. Did they do it again? No.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. My kids are getting telling offs from you if they hang out with you, Megan, because... Because you didn't pay the donation, that's why. So, yeah, I did tell off some children at the playground for getting a bit rough with my son. They were older than him, and there was no parents stepping in.

They did it a couple of times. But your approach was calculated Silent and almost deadly Wasn't it? Just quiet Semi-threatening Yeah Were you looking dead in the eyes? And what was the message?

If I see you do that again It's going to be trouble Did you know what the trouble was? No And I didn't want to specify Because I didn't want it to be too violent No But that's the countdown method as well

If I tell you what I'm going to count down from five And if that's the countdown method as well. If I tell you what, I'm going to count down from five. And if that's not done, no parent ever has those consequences in their head sorted. Not past like 1991. Yeah, I don't know what I would have done. Like, I'm not going to go up there and give them a smack. I don't know what I would have done. So I'm glad that they stopped after the one threat.

Well, can you do what Megan did? Can you tell off another person's kid on 0800 the Hats? Got a bunch of texts coming through here, Megan. I tell off other people's kids every single day and I get paid for it. Hashtag teacher life. There you go. Doing God's work. Rules go out the window when you're a teacher.

Ruth, welcome. Well, they don't all go out the window. There are rules you need to abide by. Ruth, can you tell off other people's kids? Can you ruin childhoods? Well, not ruin them, but you can tell off other kids if their parents aren't doing it, you know, and if their parent isn't around

because you don't want your child growing up, you know, without, you know, like you protecting them, you know, because then they'll accept that sort of behaviour from other people. I don't know why, I feel like I'm being told off by Ruth now and she's not even telling me off. And that's the thing, Ruth, I had little puppy doll guys

from my son looking at me being like, help. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, like, mum, protect me. And that's our job. And so, it doesn't, and you know, you do it in a nice way. You don't do it in a vicious way. You do it like how you'd tell your own child off. Okay.

I, I, I have just, I'm a child in this role play here. I have just pushed your child over in the playground. Ruth, what are you saying to me? I would say, can you please not put your hands on my child, thank you. Shut up, old lady. I forgot to say I'm a nightmare of a kid. Oh, now it's going to happen.

Now you're getting a push. After you've told them if you've done your part, I wouldn't carry that on if the child's going to be smart. I'd probably look to their parent, maybe, and tell their parent what they've said to me. But I wouldn't continue going back and forth with the child's going to be smart. I'd probably look for their parent maybe and tell their parents what they've said to me. But I wouldn't continue going back and forth with the child

and the child's going to react in that way. That's a nightmare of a child. No, don't push that. Good thoughts, Ruth. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. You have yourself a wonderful weekend. Let's get Abby on. Yes or no, can you tell off other people's kids, Abby? Oh, 100% tell them off. I love that these are all like mums.

Did you make the little throat-slitting gesture at the end of it or anything? Like, I'm going to end you sort of thing or not, Megan? No, I didn't know there's no threatening gesture. Because other people could see that. Yeah, right. Abby, you tell off other people's kids all the time? Yes, and I expect people to tell my kids off if I don't see what they're doing. If any kid comes into our house, they're considered family

and they get treated like our kids, and I would 100% expect friends, family, everyone to tell my kids off if they're being brats. Yeah, I'd say that to people when they come to my house. I say, if they're being naughty and I don't see it, you can tell them off. Yeah, okay. Because I'll listen to them more than I'll listen to you. Yeah.

Well, thank you for your call, Abby. And 100% here. Landslide victory for you, Megan. Text here. Bloody oath, Megan. Too many soft parents out there nowadays. Bring back the 70s. Well, I don't know if I want to be seen as a hard parent.

Bring back the 70s. I mean, apartheid was in the 70s. I don't know if we want to bring back as a hard parent. Bring back the 70s. I mean, apartheid was in the 70s. I don't know if we want to bring back the 70s. Is that what you want, Megan? You want the 70s rule back, do you? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, yesterday I went to purchase a rubbish bin and I went to a popular provider of homeware.

Okay, a big store. That's constantly having a sale? Yeah, constantly. A popular female is hitting those ads? Correct. provider of homeware okay a big big store that's constantly having a sale yeah constantly a female is hitting those ads correct and i just wanted a run-of-the-mill knee-high silver rubbish bin you know cylinder rubbish bin just something to temporarily hold my rubbish until i spend 45 minutes sorting it out with the new recycling walls outside yeah just basic item and foolishly and probably very naive of me i i i wasn't looking at the price i was just like 30 50 max right yeah oh sweetheart no oh sweetheart indeed and then i go to the counter again blindly and not really paying attention and tapped and go and then as i'm walking

out the door i'm thinking does she just say 173 dollars and 50 cents off of the road wow and then i went back and i was like oh did i get overcharged did you say 173 50 she said yeah yeah that's the cost of the rubbish bin and And I went, okay. And then I got in the car and I drive home. And all the way home it was irking me. I was like, this is just, this is doing the same thing a cardboard box could do. Just holding rubbish for a very short period of time.

Not as chic though. No, no, you're right. And I got home and I pulled into the driveway and I was like, no, no. And I got home, and I pulled into the driveway, and I was like, no, no. And I turned back around, and I went back into the shop, and she's like, you think that bin was too expensive, don't you? Because I was trying to think of excuses like, oh, you know, my wife's gone, and she's gone and bought.

She's already got a bin. Yeah, yeah. She didn't even give me a chance to say that. She's like, I could see it in your eyes. She was like, give me your card. I'll give you your money back. Oh, that's nice of them. Yeah, very nice.

But yeah, rubbish bins. I tell you what, for something that just does a very basic role in the household. Have you got a new one? Yeah. Went to another provider. $25. It's not stainless steel. I mean, it's not.

Yeah, listen. It's not going to babysit the kids or sort out my recycling, fold the washing for me, but it's going to do what I need it to do. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, first week back for many, as we just said, back to the normal grind. School, work, the juggle, activities, life, traffic, other people annoying you. And fatigue and tiredness, we were saying we're all very, very tired, aren't we? Which makes no sense. Yeah, because we work so hard.

Yeah, I mean, we can't really complain. On comfortable chairs that go up and down, sometimes saying words that make sense out of holes in our head. Exactly. So we can't really complain. But I think my problem is I'm still deeply entrenched In the New Year's

Drinking and snacks program Yeah You know And I would keep going Every week This is the week Where I reset Back to the routine

Now I've set a new mark Of after Waitangi Day That seems like A sensible time For everything to go Back to normal Back to normal You're right

You're probably staying up A bit later People not getting up You know Or finding it hard to get up. The other morning I was so tired that I put cat biscuits in the washing machine. Now I just grabbed them because cat biscuits sit next to the washing powder. I opened up the washing thing, put the cat biscuits in and almost put on a load. I don't know how it would have gone. But it's kind of the same.

And then I was like halfway through, I was like, oh, geez, what am I doing? Yeah, well, how it would have gone is the cat would have gone, that is some tasty smelling laundry you've got right there, my friend. Nibbling away. I do love the disagreement, as you mentioned before, Ben, that you always, most couples have is the who's more tired. Have you had that conversation with Andrew? Every day.

Every single day. Happy birthday, Andrew, by the way, too. Because he's looking up conversation every day happy birthday by the way too because he's looking up yeah happy birthday sorry yeah uh his husband andrew's uh 30 today yeah uh he's looking after the two kids but i'm also getting up really early so there's that constant so who is more tired me you sure you're sure about that yeah yeah i think yeah I think yeah those kids are a lot yeah

so I mean I've always I like to come home and pretend I'm tired too but really like you say there's not much you can really complain

about doing this job no it's like you're not out there digging trenches doing actual work that helps society there's no need for you to be tired

really there's a guy in Mangere. He's very tired. Popped up on my Instagram feed. Have a listen to this. If you're the person that's striving around Mangere, or Mangere, or Mangere,

whatever you may call it, Mangere, if you're the one that's striving around that area playing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion at like 2 a.m. in the morning, also please, I beg you, I've heard it enough. It's done, okay? My heart wants to go to sleep. Not like sleep like die, but like, you know what I mean?

He's very tired. He might be the most tired person listening. Who's cranking My Heart Will Go On? That's not a new song. It's a jam, the one heck of a jam. Heading into the weekend after what has been for a lot of the country a first full week back. A lot of tired people wandering around moaning they're tired

and also a lot of people on the radio moaning that they didn't take a day's annual leave on Monday. Yeah. You'll be hearing that a lot from us over the coming days. But scientists say actually going back to work after a holiday is harder than weaning off OxyContin. You know, the powerful painkiller. The opiate. Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah. Scientists. No, they didn't say that. I just said scientists said that. and you took it for face value. I was just going, okay. That's how easy fake news is. But there are some tips that have come out in an article about maybe not being so fatigued

when you arrive back into your normal routine after a holiday. Good prep, they say. Good preparation for the next day. That helps. Boring. Make a priority list. Boring. Boring. That helps. Boring. Make a priority list. Boring. Drink water.

Boring. Exercise regularly. Painful and boring. And just all sensible stuff. Eat vegetables. Producer Grace, who works with us at the moment. Look at Grace's water bottle she carries around. Grace, you can chat to us now.

Is that two litres? How big is that water bottle, Grace? I think it's 1.8 litres. And she drinks it. How many of those a day? Probably like three to four. What? A day?

A day. How leaky are you? It's got to be coming out somewhere. I'm super hydrated. Hey, that's huge. She's drinking a lot of water. Does it make you less tired? Exactly.

Exactly. It helps. It helps. Okay, so 800 of the hits. We're having a competition. Who's the most tired? And what have you done this week? You were so tired. Ashley, you were so tired this week.

It involved an alternative hair tying method, we understand. Yeah, I went to tie my hair up to wash my makeup off and I couldn't find a hair tie and I was folding for washing and I saw my G-string, so I tied my hair up with that, and then I forgot about it. And then I got up the next morning to take the kids to school, and I went to school with it in my hair. So you had your hair tied up in a G-string at school?

Yes, at school. Are you a teacher? No, I'm not. I'm just dropping the kids off. I was going to say, a whole day there. Enough to get into the classroom and around and about without realising that it was still in my hair. I guess it kind of works, Megan.

Yeah, I guess so. Was it like hot pink though? Red. Oh, okay. So quite bright. A little red number. And could you tell what its primary use was, even though it was tied up in a knot on your hair?

Yeah, I feel like any woman that would have seen it would have been like, yep, yep, that's what she's got going on there. Was it lace? Sorry, it wasn't lace. It was just like, I don't know. Like a string. Stock standard battler g-string. Yeah, well, people were definitely talking behind you back that day.

Yeah. I definitely feel like the teachers were like, did we just say what we thought we thought? Hey, well, good to know there's an alternate use for them as well. Yeah. Slingshots. Good slingshots. I'm trying to think of other.

No one else thinks that's a good idea? No, I was trying to think of something else. I think that's the two other. No, I was going to say like a COVID mask, but it doesn't. That's a bit weird. Versatile, the G-string. Yeah. Hey, good on you. You don't need to sit here and listen to this, Ashley.

Thank you so much. No problem. Thanks, guys. On the text machine, Megan? 11 hour day. 11 hours at work. And then a gym workout. I'm exhausted. No doubt. Yeah. If I did an 11 hour working day I would not be going to the gym so good on you the hits the Jono and Ben podcast now Britney Spears has apologized for some of the things that she said in the book about Justin Timberlake she had

a book and then Justin Timberlake came out on stage last night Megan you were just telling us while that song was playing and he didn't apologise for anything. Yeah, he was like, I would like to apologise for absolutely effing nothing. Yeah. Which, that's a weird start. She posted a picture of him saying she loved his new single and she's sorry for any hurt that she caused and he comes out with that.

Well, maybe he wasn't referencing that particular event. Maybe he cut someone off in traffic, didn't merge like a zip. A bit of road rage. Apologise for not merging. We don't know what he was referencing. No, not at all. What are your thoughts on Justin Timberlake?

I'm not down. I think he's a bit of a meanie, to be honest. Do you? Yeah. Everyone's brushed over the fact that he, didn't he cheat on his wife with that actress? And then a few years ago, there were pictures. Come on, Producer Taylor, you come in here.

Producer Taylor's nodding her head. There were pictures of him. And everyone who was on that set said that they would go into the caravan together and be gone for hours. I think there was enough evidence. How do you want to mow it on Justin Timberlake, Producer Taylor? I can't stand the guy after that whole scandal. It was so blatantly obvious what he was doing.

And yeah, he's just come out of it scot-free. What else was he meant to do? Not cheat. Respect his wife. Yeah, and that is what he's just done as well. It's such a D move. He should have said nothing if he disagreed with Brittany. Okay, there we go.

Thoughts and opinions of those of Megan and Taylor and not that of NZ Me as a corporation. I just got an interview request with Justin Timberlake. Oh, well, I guess I'll be doing it. Oh, hey, Justin, hang on. Definitely be doing it. Now, Jono, you mentioned before how it's summertime, everyone's out of routine. It is the time for people that enjoy a drink.

It seems like in the evenings it's the time that you – I'm bloaty. I'm so bloaty at the moment. It's like my skin is like I can't stretch any further. You need to stop. It's easy to do too at the moment. It's hot my skin is like, I can't stretch any further. Like you need to stop. It's easy to do too at the moment. You know, it's hot and you're like, well, she'll have beer, she'll have a wine. And my wife and I were like, well, let's try and get back into a routine.

And we thought we'd try and trick ourselves by buying sort of, actually, we've got lovely little iced tea as well. They've got peach iced tea, little cans of that or a soda that's like a flavour. Oh, you're trying to con your taste buds. Yes, you're like, you want a drink? You're like, I said I'm grabbing for the beer. I'll grab for the Dilmar iced tea and it's delicious, the Dilmar iced tea. So I'll go for that one. And you're like, I'll have one of those. So you're not going straight for a beer or a wine. You're a better person than I am.

Yeah, but now the kids have gotten on to having the fact that these drinks, which are not normally in the house, are there. And I noticed my daughter the other day, she had a friend over, and she said to the friend, she's like, would you like a drink? And the friend said, well, what have you got? She goes, we've got all these drinks. And she was, oh, no. Her friend was like, I don't know if I want to have one of those. They look fancy.

And Sienna's like, oh, they're free. And I was like, hang on a second. They're not free. I had to pop her, and she goes, well, they are to me. They're free to me. And I was like, oh, that goes, well, they are to me. They're free to me. I was like, oh, that's the rationale of a kid these days. I guess if you don't pay for it, she's like, well, they're free.

They're free. These are free drinks that have just popped up in the house. Yeah. Now, what you need to do there is you need to store that away. Okay. And when you're old and decrepit and your body functions aren't working, you're losing all control of your bodily functions, you just complain about every retirement village they put you in. So then they have to pay for you

in a new retirement village. Oh, is that where I get my revenge now? I don't like this one! Just moan and they'll be like, oh, ship the old guy off to another one. So then you just keep upgrading retirement villages. Remember that Dilmar iced tea that you drank? Yeah, now you pay for it. Instead of complaining, just do dodgy things so you get kicked out of the retirement home.

Yeah. Just be a menace for them, mate. Be a menace for them. Oh, my incontinence nappy's full again. Uh-oh. Do you want to apologise? I have nothing to apologise for. Take the Justin Timberlake road. That's what I'll do.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Weather meant to get a little rainy around the country. You're seeing thunderstorms. Thunderstorms and hail for a lot of places around New Zealand today. Bonkers floods in Queensland at the moment too. Oh're saying thunderstorms. Thunderstorms and hail for a lot of places around New Zealand today. Bonkers floods in Queensland at the moment too. Oh, totally. Yeah, wild stuff

happening over there. But we don't have to worry about that right now. No, we're worried about what? Something that Megan, you do this. This was, I read an article online

about this yesterday and now you're admitting to actually doing this. So this has come from a guy who is visiting New Zealand from Scotland. He's noticed this and it's the barefoot craze

in New Zealand. So people go walking around barefoot they go to the supermarket in bare feet. I don't do that. Generally as a rule I'm pretty like shoes on. I don't like doing bare feet. Yeah, I spoke to an American lady recently too and she's from New York and it

really did, it was quite confronting when she arrived the country, watching people wander around in bare feet. I mean, you're not wandering through New York in bare feet, are you? No, no. But he noticed that people go to the cinema and take off their shoes, so there's like reclining seats and you wear bare feet on the seats. Some people putting their feet up on the front of the seat, you know, on the seats in front of them. I don't do that, but I do take my shoes off at the cinema on those reclining seats, and I'll have bare feet on the seats. Oh, do you?

Oh, okay. Is that weird? Well, I guess it's not as weird as – Are you still on a three-month trial period for this show? It's probably not as weird as putting them right next to someone's head or something. No, I wouldn't do that. But like, you know, the shoes I wear are not always sensible. So if I'm trying to relax at the cinema, I'll take off my shoes.

Often. You wear quite large heels. Yeah, because I'm short. I like to keep that a secret. Have you got large heels on today? They're like, what would you call those? Oh, they're kind of largest heels. Yeah. You took your heels off the other day for something and I was like, what would you call those? Oh, they're kind of largest heels.

Yeah. You took your heels off the other day for something, and I was like, oh, where'd Megan go? I know. Cut me in half. Obviously it was. But yeah, so when I go to the movies, I'm like, well, I want to be comfy, so I take my shoes off and rock the bare feet.

Does anyone ever complain? No. No. Okay. Not to my face. I do love, and I've stopped doing this, but I do love it, is if you're in someone, in the car as a passenger seat, take your shoes off and putting your feet, not necessarily bare feet, but your socks, on the dash.

Oh, you've done that in my car too. Yeah, and I've stopped it now. I don't do it. It's grim. And what if you were in a car accident? Your knees would go through your face. Yeah, I know. See, I've stopped it now.

I've said I've stopped it now. He used to put his bare foot, you know, just rest it on the wing mirror just inside the window there. Yeah, and I've stopped it now. I've said I've stopped it now. He used to put his bare foot, you know, just rest it on the wing mirror just inside the window there. Yeah, and I've stopped it. Oh my God. You just see toes poking

out of the car window. Yeah, I know. Maybe it's just a small country thing. The people come to this crazy island where we wander around in bare feet. But when you think about it,

where you take your feet over summer, jeez, the places those feet go. You know, nothing is more confronting than I went to the Whangamata Club, okay? Pool tables, pool sticks. That's what you used to play pool. Just the pokey machines, this sort of thing.

And I was in bare feet, okay? I'm surprised they let you. Well, I wore jandals in, but then I relaxed. And then was in bare feet. Okay. I'm surprised they let you. Well, I wore jandals in, but then I relaxed. And then I went to the urinal. A lot of splashback. What are your jandals on? Even with jandals on,

there's splashback on bare feet and legs. That's what's happening to your trousers when you go in there. Yeah.