Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Beige Flags!

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

Beige flags... Celebrity mansions internet wormhole Ben's TV habits! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Because both of us might be guilty of something we're not even aware of. We'll bring in Producer Taylor. Day two on the job. Has the regret set in yet? Not yet, but it is early days. Yeah, early days. Give you until the end of the week, then you'll start hating life. There's something that's on fire at the moment on the internet, the beige flag. Now, please explain. Right.

So in the relationship dating world, you'll often hear the flag theory. So green flags, great. You know, you might go on a date and you go, oh, he paid for my dinner. Green flag. Right. Right. Then you've got red flag. Hot like Jono, green flag.

You know, my wife's just bloody holding up green flags all over the place. Yep. Exactly. Red flag, toxic behavior so if you're in a relationship and he does they do something that kind of turns you off and like oh that that's something to keep your eye on red flag okay and now got my head around the flag system yeah but now they've added a new one that we didn't know about beige flag so the name kind of says it all. So it's odd quirks or behaviours that your partner does that it's not toxic, it's not really bad, but it does irk you. And it might be something that could lead to more problems later potentially.

Yes, because if you think about that behaviour and if you're with them long term, that's going to get annoying. Yeah, right. But so for the main part, for most of the time, the beige flag is something that is not enough to make you muster up the energy to leave them or bother with the admin or having to move house flag it to use the flag the relationship but it's an irritating act that might blurt out in the middle of a heated argument absolutely you leave the floss on the bench yeah stuff like that like on the weekend i had one with my husband we were at dinner and

every time we get a red wine Your cheers like a normal people you just cheers and take the first sip Yeah, and then you put it down and then I have a bite and then I go to drink it again And he goes no no no no and holds his glass out to cheers it again. Oh so multiple cheers So in between every sip every sip I was like you don't do that and then it turned into a screaming match in the middle of the restaurant Beige flag You don't do that. And then it turned into a screaming match in the middle of the restaurant. Base flag. Base flag. How did he learn this cheersing system? Apparently in a backyard somewhere.

Seems like the lads would do that. And then if you missed a cheers, it would be like. Yeah, you've got a skull now. Okay, Ben, base flags. I'm sure I've got many, many base flags, but I do know one that slightly irritates my wife is the fact that I own plastic figurines in the lounge, like Simpsons, pop vinyl, NBA players.

You're nodding your head away as I say this. Dwayne the Rock, Johnson Toy Story, and I've got those in the lounge, and my wife's like, oh, it's like a 10-year-old's room, basically. And she's putting up with it? She's putting up with it, but I can know that that's leading. And every time I go to buy another one, I'm like, oh, this oh this could be the you know and she's been throwing them out too behind his back he'll find some in the bloody wheelie but yeah he's like what's captain america doing in the bin uh i this was just mentioned in passing coincidentally over the weekend and i thought

you were just using it as radio fodder ben but me when i expel air out of my nose i go oh yeah that's annoying she mentioned it she's like your breathing is just so and i thought ben just did it as fun radio content she's like no it's it's irritating i didn't realize just me expelling air out of nostrils was ruining so many of my relationships. Your wives both deserve medals after hearing that. Okay. So maybe we've got red flags. I don't know. Okay, 0800 the hits.

Let's get your flags on. The beige flags. What's irking you about your partner? You can text us 24487. Love yourself. Many people might have to be loving themselves after these beige flags keep flooding on through. These are things in a relationship that are not red flags.

They're not enough to make the relationship end, but they're worrisome things that people start to do that could get on your nerves. Your toy figurines. That's starting to get in between you and Amanda, your wife, me, just with the simple act of breathing. Just apparently the air coming out of my nostrils frustrates not only you, Ben, but my wife too. And it's like I'm just trying to, my head's just above water and I'm just trying to get

some air in. And it annoys people to no end. So 0800 the hits. What is your beige flag in your relationship? Like we say, it's not the stuff that's going to make you immediately leave this afternoon. But eventually over time, you'll work up the energy to pack up your bags. We're going to go to Claire. Welcome.

Good to have you on. New Zealand's Breakfast. Claire, your beige flag. Hi. What have you got, matey? Well, my husband cuts his toenails in the lounge and then leaves his toenail clippings on at the coffee table. Now, as I've had a check in history with toenail clipping, I was seen by a hits listener, Poolside, wasn't I Ben?

Poolside on holiday. Poolside at a hotel. Cutting my toenails. But I was like, even I wouldn't leave them on the coffee table. I mean, I've done some low stuff when it comes to toenails. What do you do? Do you have to clean the nails up? Well, I was cleaning them up, and then I removed the coffee table.

That's a good way around it. The best solution. No one will put anything on that table. Love that, Claire. Thank you very much. We'll get Camille on from Methven. Welcome. Your beige flag, Camille.

He says squirrel instead of squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Now, over time, if you're living on a squirrel farm, I can imagine that would.

Yeah. How often are you saying squirrel in your relationship? Not often. It took me like four years to find this out. But since then, it's come up more and more because, I don't know, once you hear something like that, you tend to bring up things in conversation that are going to have a squirrel. You just have to avoid any squirrel-based content for the rest of your relationship.

Someone's texted in here too, Camille. What do you think of this? My partner, he leaves feathers everywhere from our feather down pillow. He pulls them out during the night. We wake up in the morning, it's like he's been plucking chickens all night. How would that work for you, Camille? I have a phobia of chickens, so that would terrifyingly. Or it looks like one of those cliched movie pillow fight scenes that have taken place. Appreciate that. Mel, you're on. The calls are flooding in this morning. Your beige

flag, Mel. My beige flag is my partner who, in his 50s, when certain friends are around, he literally transforms into an eight-year-old little boy who's clearly got ADHD and it's, oh my god,

so embarrassing. Yeah, I know what you're saying. He turns into a child. Like, oh my god so embarrassing. Yeah, I know what you're saying. He turns into a child like, he's stupid preschool shit. This feels like a teetering more orange red flag but just in defence of your husband, you know, when you catch

up with old friends and just transports you. Yeah, you go back there, don't you? Let's play all these fun games and activities. Let's wrestle on the floor and things like that. Oh, no, no, no. It's just like, come on. Like, they're having fun, and then there's just, oh, my God. Like, you're not five.

You're not eight. Like, oh, it's annoying. It's always great to me. And I just, my face just hurts every time. Like, what the F? Well, I hope this free therapy session has kind of helped you there, Mel. Appreciate that. Some great text coming through four four eight seven he defrosts the ice cream before eating it to frost oh okay i'm jacklyn he likes soft ice cream and that's

uh he does that thing where he acts invisible and i have no idea where he is uh danny lee uh he's always in slow motion Never in hurried mode Another one there Constantly does the most disgusting loud noises Oh yeah Loud noises and never apologises In fact revels in it So you can keep these coming through 4487 You're right some of these are teetering on red flags

The hits The Jono and Ben podcast But your wife's a teacher She's not happy with you No she's not Because we're trying to make time to watch series together

shows together because we often have shows we watch separately but then we decided we want to make a thing and watch a show and we've been like everyone's been saying

Succession's such a good show and we're like okay cool we're going to watch this together we've watched an episode or two has it been a success watching Succession? well at the start

we're like cool we're both into us let's make this our thing and we'll try and go to bed earlier, slightly earlier. Well, earlier for her, but for me, because we're getting up at, you know, four o'clock in the morning or thereabouts, you know, we're going to be like 9, 9.30. We're starting to watch Succession.

And then these are hours that I'm, you know, I'm. They're your dozy hours. Yeah, they're dozy hours. Slaven away of the cold face. So inevitably, I kind of fall asleep. And then I play a fun game the next night of going, at what point was I up to? And then try and work it right back.

Because my wife's doing a lovely thing where she'll stop. She'll go, oh, she'll realize I'm asleep. And then she'll stop it and turn it off or watch something else. Another disappointment in the bedroom. Yeah, exactly. Then last night, I flicked it back i was like i think i was up to this point or this this scene and she's like i have watched the scene four times with you now four times can we just get to the end of the fall asleep not long after this

and i'm like what do i do now do i just say hey it's gone you're gonna let you sometimes you just gotta let them be free mate because i don't know what happens and then i'll get like one series into a show and then I'll be like, I've never seen the end of that because it's just got too far ahead of me. Watch them in your prime time. You know, at one o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah, true.

Then you can kind of match up. You can both have a conversation. Yeah, it's not a bad idea actually around that. That's the best thing about marriage. You can do stuff separately, but they can come together. Yeah. Oh, hey, you.

A lot of couples end up sleeping in separate bedrooms and slowly starting to dislike each other. Yeah, but what if it works? Thank you, Dr. Phil. That was very handy. That's all right. Now time for your prostate examination. I didn't know you were that sort of doctor, but all right.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Jonas Internet wormhole. Lost again. And it was a clickbait article. The classic one. You click 32 pages to get through to the results that you actually want. Yeah, those things, right uh and this was an article that said celebrities who have lost

millions on their property investments so i thought well this is great an attempt to make us all feel better about the cost of living crisis even the celebs are being hit hard and nothing makes you feel more sympathetic to a celebrity than hearing they've lost millions on their mansion. So here's something. Big losses too. Eva Longoria, the desperate housewife, she purchased Tom Cruise's mansion. Right.

Okay. She held out $14 million for Cruise's mansion. Okay, yeah. It seems like a lot, but I guess as far as mansions go in America, that's probably standard, I imagine, for celebrities. When she went to sell it, sold it for six. Cruise sold her a dud. He cruised off.

Yeah. Sold her a dud. So the poor Eva Longoria, the housewife desperately trying to sell her property for less than half the price. Shaquille O'Neal, Shaq, famous basketball player, NBA player, an 18- car garage. He spent $28 million on his property,

lost $11 million in the sale, $17 million he sold it for. And 18 car parks feels like maybe 16 more car parks than anyone needs. Yeah, but he's probably had room for all those cars.

He's quite generous with his money, Yashak. He told a story. He went into Walmart or something, didn't he, overnight. He'd just moved to a new city to play for a new team. He had nothing in the apartment. Turned up there at like 4 o'clock in the morning. Yeah. And wanted to get all his stuff, so went and bought it at night.

And they're like, I'll buy basically everything in the store. And the poor overnight person who's like, mate, I'm just here because my mum's making me get a job. Had to then ship all the stuff to Shaq and he pays for people's shopping and stuff.

Yeah, he's quite generous. Jennifer Lopez. Jenny from the block. She bought a house on the block. $17 million. She bought it for, had a recording studio, huge gym,

huge theatre. You name a room, it'll be huge. Sold it for $4.5 million. Oh, she lost a bit there, didn't she? You can tell Affleck's not with her for the money then, is he? And Kanye West, his ranch. Remember his ranch in Wyoming? That's right.

He used to go off the grid and record there, didn't he? Yeah, so he spent, I think, $20 million. Well, according to this think, $20 million. Well, according to this article, $20 million. And it's on the market right now for an absolute bargain. $4.5 million. He doesn't look like the type of guy who's in it to make a profit off this. No. He's like, I just want to

hang out at this ranch and say some wild stuff on Instagram, you know. He's not trying to flip the house. You wonder why they just don't, I guess they had to sell, but just hold on to it. Hold on to it, yeah. Well, he apparently went into Wyoming, he's like, I'm going to change this shitty little town.

All of my clothing, I'm going to build a giant warehouse, I'm going to manufacture all of the Yeezy clothes here. Is he on that? No, no, no. He hasn't quite followed through on it. That's why you don't come into a town and make wild promises. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Over 100,000 Kiwis have been scammed by NZTA toll fake scam since 2022.

Some people have lost entire life savings. That's horrible to hear. That is terrible. This is why I don't pay my fines, Ben. You just never know who's emailing you nowadays. I don't trust anything on email do you no well that's the way well this is all coming through on text as well yeah i had one the other day from a curry company through whatsapp and i was like this is a scam it turned

out it was legit but um but you just suddenly go oh they're trying to scam me out of something and they finally finally called me and were like your package we're trying to get hold of you i just thought it was a scam message this guy Because you're just getting showered in scams every day. A great one I got yesterday, hello, darling. This is the Seek Human Resources Department. Oh, I got that same thing as well. I thought, if you're working in HR, starting the message with hello, darling.

Hello, darling, yeah. Anyway, there's a good job going, 70 to 150 an hour. Yeah, I thought about it, to be fair. It looked pretty good. I put all my details in. But yeah, it is scary. Because they're designed to trick you and you know you do fall for it and you feel like an idiot when you do but it's it's easy to do you know oh i need to pay a road toll so my mum went north

of course i need to pay my road toll and then you go on and do it and suddenly it's yeah well as i said apply my theory don't play them at all until Baycorp come knocking, and it's gone through the court system. Now, speaking of all things cars and fines, Ben, driving into work today, and I realised something that we all do on the motorway. There's three or four lanes on the motorway. Nothing makes you feel more like a cast member of Fast and Furious than driving on the inside lane of a truck.

So the truck's in the middle lane, and you have to go on the inside lane and pass the truck. Thrilling! Oh yeah. I can't imagine you would like to do that. No. You would hold back. Yeah yeah. But I see what you're saying. It's like those things where you see like a car, a big truck parked on the side of the road that has the ramp up where they, you know one of those ones that carry other cars and you're like oh this in an action movie someone would drive up there. get up here but i've never died not in a million years and you know you'd have to drive up so slowly and awkwardly too because there's two you have to line your wheels up and it was never going to work easily yeah but it was

the closest i'll feel like it to an action hero or a stunt driver is driving the inside lane of a truck the hits the jonathan ben podcast and uh heart kids new zealand now they support new stunt driver is driving the inside lane of a truck. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And Heart Kids New Zealand, now they support New Zealand families with kids with heart conditions and we were pretty gutted to hear that their mascot, we're in the mascot game now, we've got our own Hits mascot, the Hidiponamus, their mascot was stolen

and to tell us more about their award and how we can track it down is Dr. Ruth Gorinsky from New Zealand Heart Kids, Welcome. Good morning. Have I got Ben or John? It's hard to tell. No one knows the difference.

We don't have doctor credentials. That's what we can tell you, Dr Ruth. Well, nice to talk to you. We're obviously big fans of mascots now that the Hits have got a mascot. We've got the Hidipotamus. And this story broke our hearts, the fact that you guys at the Heart Kids New Zealand have lost yours. We sure have. What happened to it?

Are we pointing fingers? No, no. Well, no, because we wouldn't know where to point them anyway. But Maya had been at an event with us, and she was in the back seat of the car being, you know, on her way home. And the car that she was in got stolen. So Maya was part of the package that got nipped. Oh, okay, okay. So we are pointing fingers, but we're ready to point fingers.

We just don't know who we're pointing them at. We sure don't. Haven't got a clue. We've got a mascot napping here. Yeah. So we're looking for a big bear. Adorable mascot. Well, she is and she is a love-sized replica of the small Maya bears that all our heart

members who have either a congenital heart defect or an acquired childhood heart defect get when they go into Starship for their surgery. Now, $6,500 Myers worth. So, Nott, you haven't scrimped on the costs, the production costs of your mascot, and you are offering a reward for the safe return. Well, we're not. That's Super Cheap Auto New Zealand that are offering that as a donation if somebody

hands over, if Maya's found Super Cheap Auto who are really big supporters of Heart Kids New Zealand have offered to pay a $10,000 donation for the return of Maya to Heart Kids New Zealand. Well that's an awesome thing that they're doing. I can't imagine

the people that, if someone's taken it, that you wouldn't be able to wear it anywhere because obviously it's a very distinctive looking beer. So hopefully it gets returned back to the rightful owners, which is you guys. Well, we'd really like to think so. I can pitch something to you there, Dr. Ruth. What about the heart hippopotamus?

We've got a hippopotamus costume. We'll get somebody out. It can step in It can fill in You know Oh like to help out We're already getting rid of our Budget cuts already at radio right You're getting rid of the hippo

Are you going to Are you going to put a Put a lovely zipper scar Down the front of the hippopotamus For us He could have had He could have had Previous heart issues

Just saying It's an option available It can step in Off the bench That's very kind of you Thank you very much. I'll put it to my team. That means we're definitely not going to take your offer.

We want to get Mya Beer back. So if anyone can contact the police, if anyone knows the whereabouts of Mya Beer. Yeah, 105 would be a great start. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Disposable vapes are going to be banned in New Zealand from November as part of new restrictions to make vaping less accessible

and less attractive to younger Kiwis. No vape stores within 300 metres of schools or morais. No new vape stores. But it's good they're doing something. So you can walk 350 metres and get yourself a vape. Well, that's good. I still want to know they're accessible to the kids. Basically, if you're a lazy vaper

you might not go there. But if not you'll be like oh yeah. Or if you're on like house home detention or something. You know your bracelet doesn't let you go beyond 300 meters. What's your thoughts on vapes? Well who knows what's in them. I've never even tried one. I know I tried once.

Maggie who works here. She was across the road At the cafe I was like How's that She's like Give it a go And she kind of

Put it in my mouth And I was like Oh this is Only just sort of Sharing a vape Felt a bit weird At that time But yeah

You? Well yeah I wasn't a smoker Or the vaping thing Neither of it Really appeals to me But just how easy it is And how like

Flavoured Is a worry as well You know It's not like By the sounds of it, you'd have a cigarette and go, oh, it's a disgusting taste. Well, vaping doesn't sound like it's that disgusting when they flavour them. Yeah, cigarettes and coffee, you have to plough through those taste buds, bully your taste buds into enjoying it.

But we spoke to the guy from Life Education Trust, Harold the Draft. He said kids age seven are vaping. Oh, no, that's crazy. That is wild. Now to the opposite end Harold the Draft. He said kids age seven are vaping. Oh, no, that's crazy, eh? That is wild. Now to the opposite end of the age scale, my dad, John Pryor, and Annie, my mum, they're staying at the moment, Ben, and I like when the parents stay

because you start to appreciate, or you get to appreciate the oldie they get, their quirks. I've mentioned before, he's never paid for a pair of sunglasses. Only wears free sunglasses. Sunglasses he's found on park benches, footpaths, you know, and he's had some, he's really pushed the boundaries

with the sunglass fashion over the years. He did find some the other day, it was a couple of weeks ago, he sent me a photo of them. And they're like, you know those real fast ones that people wear ironically to music festivals? Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. They look like sort of old 80s ski sunglasses. Yeah, he's got some of those. He found some, I was like, John, boy, festivals. Oh, yes. You know, sort of old 80s ski. Yeah, he's got some of those. You know, he found some.

I was like, John, boy, they are not, you're not in that life stage. But, you know, he also generously mows the lawns, the berms of his entire street in Christchurch. That's amazing. But he uses the toaster at home, and I've never seen anyone do this, but he warms up the toaster. So he'll pump down the toaster. No toast in there. Oh, nothing in it. And I'm like, anyone do this, but he warms up the toaster.

So he'll pump down the toaster. No toast in there. Oh, nothing in there. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I like to warm it up. But I'm like, isn't that what the toasting process is doing? Yeah. That's what it's designed to do.

And isn't it? I don't know. I would have thought it would be more dangerous to have nothing in there. But hey, yeah. Warming up the toaster. It's like a shower. You're warming up the shower, John Boy. Maybe you're confusing the toaster for the shower.

I mean, maybe it does take, but it doesn't take long to go from zero to toasting, does it? I've never had an issue with it. No. Personally. I never thought a toaster needed warming up. I guess you warm up your oven, but maybe that's the same. But yeah, it's very, very unusual. And I was like, is the end result any different?

Yeah. If I just plop two. Yeah, true. Super thick, super wop. No, no different. Yeah. You've just got to do stuff with your time, don't you? When you're older.

I love it. You know, warming up a toaster, that takes up 30, 40 seconds of the day. Yeah.