Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben Boyce's Self Love Sunday's

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

Self Love Sunday with Ben Boyce The man who thinks Charles and Camilla are his parents.. Jono's kids are against him.. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Anyway, I was out in the work kitchen just before and I realised afterwards, after the conversation, I look like such a diva. Because thanks to the lovely people at Dilmar who support the show, we do Dilmar dates as well. In the studio we've got our own Jono and Ben mugs with Dilmar on them, with our names on them. In the studio, we've got our own Jono and Ben mugs with Dilmar on them, with our names on them because, you know, in the cameras,

you know, that film, the stuff on the radio, we've got our mugs. Yeah, right. And yours says Jono today and mine says Jono. Well, yeah. Yeah, I know. Well, here's the thing. We've got three cups. They had three mugs each.

And once you go to wash them and put them in the work kitchen, they end up going into the circulation of the building, right? Yeah, to mainstream, to civilians, Ben. I know what you're saying. So I had three. I had three with my name on it. Now I go out to the work kitchen before to go make myself a Dilma tea to have in the studio, and I can't find my mug anywhere.

And I'm going, where's my mug? Where's my mug? And another lady who works in another part of the building was in the kitchen as well, and she was like, oh, are there no clean mugs? I was like, yeah, no're clean mugs i just can't find my mug can't find my mug with and i'm mumbling away oh no you look like a crazy a crazy pedantic broadcaster yeah he locks himself away in the studio comes out and he's got to have his specific man and then i was like oh and midway through i was like oh i realized that that i must look like a like a crazy like i've got to have my mug with my,

I'm looking for the one with my name on it. She's like, she doesn't realise it's for commercial purposes. Yeah, I've got my mug, so we've got to have it in the studio. You've got obligations. I can't come in here with a Hauraki mug or something like that on the cameras, you know? Or a mug that says Jeremy Wells on it. No, exactly.

It would confuse people better. But I look like such a diva now, the fact that I've been searching for a mug with my name on it and I couldn't find one. And now I'm just using a Jono one, which is, you know, it's fine. Hey, you're fine to use my mug. I'm not too hung up about it. I'm not like you.

But yeah, I dare say this now, this has got out there, someone's witnessed it. It's going to spread through the industry like COVID. Like a new strain of COVID. Like my mugs, like my mugs throughout the building. It's going to be going throughout the building. Three of them. It's this thing though through the industry like COVID. Like a new strain of COVID. Like my mugs throughout the building. It's going to be going throughout the building. Three of them. It's this thing, though.

They've just gone. They've gone from our kitchen to other kitchens around the building. It's funny how that happens. When you do break it down, the amount of lips that do grace the communal mugs. A lot of lip service. So much. And where do the teaspoons go? In the cutlery?

Who takes that? Who walks out of here at the end of every day takes one fork home, slowly builds up a set in their flat as maybe celebrating their 23rd birthday today. Producer Joel, you're thinking? Never looking healthier our utensils at the moment in the flat.

Your cutlery drawer. Looking great. Like a Briscoe store. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. True. Now, I said before, I've discovered, or I think people are trying to plot against me, and those people are my children, Ben. Right.

The last folks you would imagine to plot against you. But something's driving me absolutely bonkers, is they treat socks like a pair of shoes. They'll run outside on the grass I'm like take your bloody socks off And they end up Obviously dark Dirty, filthy on the socks

I'm like just either put some shoes on Or take your socks off Those are two options But leaving socks on, no one's winning out of that You end up with soggy socks But they don't find any uncomfort in running around soggy dewy grass and no they don't mind at all you're right and the thing that used to bug me as well when my kids were little was they just take they get in the

car and boom shoes come off shoe socks everything and then you'd stop somewhere and you're like all right we're gonna whip it here and they'll go i've got no shoes on you're like what why did you take your shoes off we're on our way home home. It was just like, just keep them on. It feels like footwear, anything to do with socks, shoes, it's a big stress in someone's life, isn't it? When you're trying to go, put your bloody shoes on. Tie your shoelaces up. We're running late, you know. Dare I say Crocs.

No one's having these problems with Crocs, mate. See why I'm coming around to Crocs? You see why I'm coming around to Crocs? Did you buy a pair of Crocs? I haven't yet. I need to buy a pair of Crocs. You said you were going to buy them for mocking purposes so that I could mock you. You can mock me for them.

But I've been looking at them. The more I think about Crocs, I'm like, now you say this. I'm like, well, Crocs. If your kids had Crocs, you wouldn't have to worry. They wouldn't be wearing socks. No. They'd just slip their shoes on and away they'd go. Well, yeah.

You can do anything to these socks, but there's nothing like, nappy sand. Friend. Friend's like, I'm your friend, but there's nothing like, nappy sand, friend. Friends are like, I'm your friend, but there's nothing I can do here. And they just end up like brown. They all turn brown. Brown socks. I don't know the logic behind it. It's not offering any orthotic support.

No, I guess kids just don't care, right? They don't have to worry about that. They're not worried about the admin at the back end, are they? Why are they? Why are they anyway? There's bigger issues in the world, I think. Well, yeah. In fact, the King's Coronation.

You know, you want to let the socks upstage that? You want to, you little sock chap, mate, there's more important things going on this week than your socks. Your little slightly dirty socks that you haven't cleaned up. Your little sock banter. Is that all you know? Go away for a weekend, try and refill the content tanks. Any day views at the start line, listen to sock banter. Jeez, where you know? Go away for a weekend, try and refill the content tanks. And he debuts at the start line

with some sock banter. Jeez, where are we going to be by Friday? I want to motivate you for the week ahead. As I said before, it's the first, well, full week for a while, isn't it? Ben, we forgot to do,

there's a little grab there, Joel, in the button bar. It's going to be May. Oh, first of May. It's going to be May. Yeah, first of May. It's going to be May. It's a good time to pull that out, isn't it? Yeah, well, it's the only time.

And even then it confuses me because you're saying it's going to be May. It is already May. It's the first of May. We should have done it yesterday. Yeah, no, I've seen some people leading up to that go, four more days and it's... It's going to be May. It is already May. It's the first of May. We should have done it yesterday. I've seen some people leading up to that go, four more days and it's... It's gonna be May. Late to the party. But really, technically, it's gonna be May is what he said. But anyway, it does sound like

it's gonna be May. A couple of quick good news stories. We're trying to motivate you for a Monday. And I want to do this with some stories that make you go, oh, that's nice. In America, in Iowa, there's a school there offering credits for students that go out there and help out the community, mowing lawns for elderly

and doing yard work for people with disabilities. They're getting actual school credits. I thought that was a lovely thing that they've added in it. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Just strive for education excellence. Well, there's still education going on as well. It's like when we were in lockdown,

like, well done, you get some NCEA credits for making your bed. Remember we were doing that sort of stuff. You did the vacuuming for the house. All right, okay, you didn't like that one? Okay, what about this one? Overseas as well, there was a school bus on the way to school and the bus driver, very scary, had like a medical emergency and started veering off.

Obviously, went unconscious, started veering off into traffic. 13-year-old kid runs up the top of the bus, gets there, basically steering wheel, gets him back into traffic, gets on the brake as well and tells everyone, go 911, go 911 as well. And I was like, wow, what a hero. I saw this on the news. It's harrowing footage.

A 13-year-old would like to do that. Yeah, what a hero. It's pretty incredible. So I should never drink 13 beers before you drive the kids to school. I don't think that was the case. Sorry. No. Oh, drunk Gary back at it. You call it a medical emergency when

you do that, but this is an actual medical emergency. But everyone okay? That's the good news of the story, right? Google the story. We actually just put it up on our Instagram account because it's terrifying footage, but also very brave footage as well. Now, Ben, we'd like to end on a motivational quote that we have plagiarized from Instagram.

These are quotes that people say. People put emotional piano music behind it. They do. They love that piano music, don't they? Now, today it comes from a redneck cowboy. He's sitting there. He's got a cowboy hat on, boots made out of some reptile, a snake or something snakeskin boots big beard oversized cigar and he offers out this advice while sitting on a chair and there's nothing in

this life that will destroy you faster than you being unable to forgive yourself for your wrongdoings. The you that was you yesterday is not the you that is you today. And so do not destroy yourself over a man that no longer exists. Or a woman, or a non-binary person as well. That's good advice. It's hard though, isn't it? It's hard to not... Well, it's...

You need to learn from your past, but don't live in it. But then people bring up the past as well. Then that's the thing that people start judging again for a lot of people's past. Yeah, we're trying to cancel people from stuff they said 25 years ago. But hopefully these young people, as we all have, you try and be better and you try and learn. But it is hard when you look back at a lot of things. Learn from the past, don't live in it. I just made that up on the spot.

We should put some piano music behind that one. Learn from the past, don't live in it. Anyway, I thought that was good advice from a guy who definitely voted for Donald Trump. Yeah, but he's learning from it. What did I write for him this time around? Well, I might be a mistake but I'll be a better man

the next time the hits the Jono and Ben podcast my daughter Andy you've often said you've described Jono she's 11 years old but like

as a 50 year old woman in an 11 year old's body that's right and I've got a very fractured relationship with him you stitched her up once right

stitched her up in the edit there's a classic radio stitch up in the edit where she claims a classic radio stitch up in the edit where she claimed she would never utter blasphemy through her entire life. She would never say a swear word. We put her on air and I was playing beeps to make it sound like she was swearing.

She's like, Jono, Jono, Jono, Jono. She always asks me, again, like a 50-year-old, she says, how's Jono? Like your mum checking in on you. She loves things like pot plants and candles and those sort of things. She puts herself to bed when she's tired. And last night, and in fact, for the last few Sundays, she's been doing something on a Sunday, and I'll record it.

I recorded it. Here's Indy talking about it. So what are you doing? So basically every Sunday, I do like a self-care Sunday, and I have like a bath, go to bed early, do a face mask, like read or watch something. Candles, music. Yeah, yeah. That's good. It's nice.

Yeah, it's relaxing. You should do it. I don't know. Do you think I need to relax? Yeah, yeah. So self-care Sundays is what she likes to do. She's like, Sunday, 7.30, self-care. Cindy's time. Cindy's time. It's been going on for the last six weeks as well.

That is adorable. That is adorable. Most adults are doing self-care Sundays, dealing with a hangover, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Self-care Sundays, just trying to get into the Sunday morning. But I was like, it's a good thing. She's trying to get me in.

Well, if anyone needs some self-care, what do you do? You say you do self-love Sundays. What is that? You lock yourself away in the bathroom. So you're kind of doing it. I don't. Again. A version?

Again. Just. Light the candles? Music unnecessarily. Okay, I've got to move on from this. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It's the King's coronation on Saturday. King Charles will officially become king.

And actually, we've got a big announcement. 8.20 today, we'll tell you more. So tune in for that one. And also, a big guest is joining us on the phone right now. A man who lives in Queensland says he's the love child of King Charles and Camilla. His name is Simon Durante Day. G'day, Cobber. He said good morning. How areay, Cobber. Yeah, good morning.

How are you, Ben and John? Koalas, snakes and other Australian references. We're doing all right. How are you? I mean, it must have been a real rollercoaster the last few weeks for you. It has been. It's just got bananas

and I think everybody's seeing me out and about and seeing the images. It's just increased everybody's interest in me. So, Simon, you claim to be the love child of Charles and Camilla. out and about and seeing the images. It just increased everybody's interest in the thing, yeah. So, Simon, you claim to be the love child of Charles and Camilla. I think a lot of people listening would have read the headlines but maybe not dived much deeper than that. How certain are you? For me, pretty much 100%.

I've been looking at it for quite some time. Just to sort of briefly run through it, I was adopted as a child at eight months. I was told I was born in Haslam Naval Hospital, which I wasn't. I was grown up by a family in Portsmouth, the Day family. A lot of strange things occurred

during the time I was growing up, strange visitations to houses. I had lots of memories of different things that went on, operations, taking to different places. So you got adopted, you're adopted parents. Now, their parents used to work for the royals. Is that the connection? My grandparents, my adopted grandparents, granddad was a gardener and ma'am was a cook

at a royal household. That's where they met. So what you're saying is your theory is Charles and Camilla had you. It was out of wedlock, frowned upon in that era, and then they handed you off to some of their workers, and the grandparents looked after you. Yeah, well, that's correct, yeah. I mean, basically, Nan and Grandad sort of brought me up, really. I spent a lot of time with Grandad.

Did your grandparents tell you this, you know, flat out, that you were actually the... Well, I'm sure you all go through these things. You remember your grandparents had certain things, and at the time it didn't make much sense. But later on, it does. And, I mean, that's what's happened, you know. I mean, she hinted at it as the new ideas.

But she only came out and said it in 1998. When I went back, she was not well. So I rushed out of Australia, flew back to the UK, just got there in time. They didn't think she'd survive the night, but she did. And yeah, she told me then. We've seen the photos that's been circulating around,

some uncanny resemblance to some of the royal family that you've got, particularly in younger years. Yeah, you look a lot like Prince Andrew. In one of the photos we've seen. Which I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Hey, but what do you want? What would you like out of this? Do you want closure?

Do you want them to, you know, what's your ultimate goal? Well, you know, my wife was adopted too. And I sat and watched her speak to both sets of parents and understand the story of why she was given away and what happened. And, you know, I'd like that opportunity and I think they've got the right to air their side of the story so that I know, you know, what they went

through. So you're not after money, you're not after a prince title, you just want them to take a DNA test. So what do you want to say to the Royals if they're listening? Because I do know they're tuning in on iHeartRadio. Yeah, I'm sure they do, yeah. They'll be listening to you.

You could be in it all the time. What do you want to say to them? Come clean. Look, I don't think it's them that's suppressing it. I've always said this. The monarchy is controlled really by the government. If you look at how it all works out, that's the way it is. They're the ones suppressing it, I believe.

And I'd say to them, look, come on, let's do it. It's just gone on for too long. I mean, the longer it goes, I'm just going to put it back in court and we're just going to go through it all again. Have you had any correspondence with the royal family? Yeah, I have. I've written to the Queen several times. I've written to Charles several times.

I've got a receipt for that that went to Charles as private secretary. So I've done quite a lot. I mean, we did all this private before it all went public. You know, I exhausted every private route that I could

before it went public. Well, a fascinating story and we wish you all the best with getting closure in your endeavours. So thank you so much for your time.

We really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks Ben and John. There you go, Simon Durante Day claiming to be the love child of King Charles and Camilla. Yeah. He's got a pretty rock solid story. enjoy it. There you go, Simon Durante Day, claiming to be the love child of King Charles and Camilla. Yeah.

He's got a pretty rock-solid story. Yeah, I know. Their family business, God, they must get sick of all their family nonsense out there. Oh, the royals? I mean, everything from Andrew. I mean, they'd love us having them on there, wouldn't they? True, yeah.

William, Harry, all of it out there, right? Yeah, so we're going to chuck this out there. This is a long bow. What's going on in your family? Family business. Call up if you want to. No pressure. If you want to share, you can next.

And we're talking about all the family business going on in the Royal family. And we wanted to give the opportunity if anyone wanted to share anything with us on New Zealand's Breakfast this morning on 0800, the hits they could about their family. And Tony joins us. Good morning, Tony. Well, long, long story. But I found out that she slept with the best man at my wedding.

Oh, jeez. At the wedding. And on the wedding night. Oh, it was on the wedding night. Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, and then I found out that she slept with my father. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my God. Oh, jeez. This is quite a lot for you to get out of. Yeah, I've been dealing with this for years. Just this year, I found out that the eldest daughter that I had to her is not mine. Oh, my God. So, obviously, you're not together anymore? We haven't been for, like, years.

So, you've been raising a daughter that has another father obviously? Yeah. Yeah, I raised her pretty much my whole life and she still is my daughter but obviously... Oh good on you for doing that. To make it worse

my daughter hit her up about who is the father and there was that many she doesn't know. How many times do you think you were cheated on? Oh, it must have been. I don't know. Yeah, I really don't know. Did you have an inkling? Did you think something potentially could have been going on

or just no idea? Oh, it was just too trusting. And I kind of always knew there was something different about my eldest daughter. Oh, mate. Oh, jeez. I'm glad it was in the past and obviously you've got through all that, but I can imagine it's not easy to deal with all that, particularly at the time. To be honest, the hardest one was my father. That really broke my heart.

I was just about to say, what was your relationship like with your father? I was pretty shit after that. I can imagine, yeah. How did you find out that she was sleeping with your father? Well, she admitted it to my mum, and not a good feeling, to be honest. Your best friend? Your best man from your wedding? Yeah. Well, she admitted it to my mum, and not a good feeling, to be honest. Your best friend? Your best man from your wedding?

Yeah, yeah. Twice. Oh, my goodness. And another time after that, and I didn't find this out until later as well. Do you find it hard to trust people now? Or are you okay? Because everyone you have to deal with, obviously, is differently, but it's hard when you've been hurt in the past.

Yeah, I did, actually. I found it really hard to trust people. I stopped trusting people after that for years. I pretty much didn't like anybody and I had to spend a lot of money on one of the best drinks in the country to try and sort it out.

And I'm probably still not sorted out, but I do try to trust people now. Well, I mean, you've gone through a lot of trauma, a lot of trauma. So I can understand why you've had to go and seek professional help and you're still working through stuff. Hey, well, thank you for sharing with us this morning. We will charge you psychiatrist fees as well. Ben doesn't come cheap with that advice.

That quality advice you got, did you give any advice? no I don't think I did I just feel for you but I'm glad it's in the past and you've moved on and you're better now for it Tony so I appreciate your call take care of yourself buddy

have you got a new partner Tony? yes I have and she's lovely oh good I'm glad to hear it ends on a happy note well good on you Tony you keep safe out there and thanks for sharing thank you

wow she's okay well really feeling for Tony there as well Happy note. Well, good on you, Tony. You keep safe out there and thanks for sharing. Thank you. Wow. Sheesh. Okay, well, really, feeling for Tony there as well. I'm glad he's in a much better place now.