Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben Got Caught Snoring!

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Ben's snoring The dead rat saga Can we name 100 Simpsons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. A bit of an earthquake in the Felton Christchurch and around the South Island yesterday, 6.2 magnitude. Everyone seems to be okay, but I imagine for a lot of people living around there, it brings back some horrible memories. Yeah, it's a text Annie and Jon prior there in Christchurch. They've got their bags ready to go down the bottom of the stairs. They've got a huge escape plan. And it's filled with two bottles of wine. You'll be happy to know as well. Oh, that's good.

In all honesty, if you do drink, I'd consider that an essential in an emergency. Oh, yeah, that's probably the times that you do. You're like, mate, let's take the edge off a bit, wouldn't you? Anyway, we hope everyone's doing all right. Now, you become to a lot of realizations the older you get that you're like if you take yourself back to when you're a child or a teenager you're like jeez i understand now what my parents were going through now the bath we've got a bath in the house i never knew i've never once used the bath. Right.

When was the last time you had a bath? Oh, not recently, but I have, you know. Like every now and again, it's nice to have a soak in the bath. You treat yourself? Yeah, every now and again. It feels like you need to book an hour out in your calendar. Yeah, it's not like a quick thing. Yeah.

But we've got a bath, and the kids have figured out that wonderful thing that we all used to do as a kid where you could create a wave pool in the bath by sliding your buttocks back and forth along the base of the bath. And you kind of, as a kid, you just want to push it up to the edge and then you're walking on a fine, tight wire,

aren't you, with that? Yeah. And then the amount of times I've walked into the bathroom and it's like a tsunami's hit. And I'm having to mop up water that's just ended up on the floor. And I would have apologised to Annie and John Pryor. I would have done that hundreds

of thousands of times. We used to have one at home that had the shower that went into the bath. Oh, yep. So that was always cool. I used to sit in the bath as a kid and fire the shower on at the same time and pretend you're kayaking down waterfalls. That was all.

So that was spraying on top of your head. Yeah, you were in the bath as well. Huge waste of water. Massively. As a kid, though, it was a lot of fun. And then you go to the bath, get yourself full, unplug it a bit, plug it back in, fill it up with more water. But yeah, I need to make that apology

because it's something you don't think about or appreciate or even consider when you're a child. Because you don't... Like, I bounced on the trampoline the other day and I was thinking about consequences. What happens if this goes bad? Injure yourself. You're out of work for a couple of weeks

with everybody doing flips, landing on their back, their neck. They don't care. It's part of being a child. They're out into the cold in a t-shirt and shorts. Yeah, you're right. When did we turn into pussies, Ben? Yeah, well. What age does that happen? I don't know.

But you're right. Kids, a lot more fun being a kid, isn't it? Isn't it? What happened to the fun versions of us? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, featuring in many of our catalogues, you always give me grief about how I record. You know, I always get audio recordings of my family. I have to play on the radio.

Yeah, I'm like, is he saving these up for a court case? I'm not sure what these are for. Well, the moments happen, and I'm just like, oh, that's a good moment. I'll get my phone out. I'll record it. Or the kids will say something. They always start with, what were you saying?

Yeah, I know. Just to recap. I'm like, oh, that's real good. So they've said something. You're like, stop. Stop. Stop. Don't. Sometimes I stop the conversation. I'm like, oh, that goes real good. So they've said something, you're like, stop, stop, stop. Sometimes I stop the conversation.

I'm like, this looks like a conversation that would be good for radio. Sometimes it turns out it's not. Bing, what were you saying? What an unusual way to... Wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you saying? You know, because you want to get in the moment. You don't want to come back to that later and go, that's, you know. Reenact it.

Yeah, so. But the tables were turned on me Friday night. No, I've just discovered this. I didn't realize that. So Friday night, we'd been out. We'd called up some friends. We'd had a couple of drinks. We were out for dinner.

Came home, and I was determined to stay up and watch the rugby league, which was late. One of the things on the couch. And the family were like, oh, go to sleep. I'm like, no, I won't because I want to watch the rugby league. But we do get up early and, you know, I had a few drinks and then I guess I did fall asleep. But I didn't realise that my daughter Sienna had been recording me and, I don't know, anyway, this is what she recorded.

Oh, look who's fallen asleep on the couch. Oh, and who's going to record him for a change? Oh, oh my gosh, he's snoring loudly. There's going to be some good content here. That is deep. That is deep, mate. I was going, that's not me. That's not me. This is a stitch up at the end.

Is it you? Apparently, yeah. I've been set the scene, you know, like a couple of tracks. I'm like, jeez. I love it couple of couple of tracks I'm like jeez I love it how you're like I'm going to stay up and your daughter's still awake I promise

I'll be up yeah yeah so yeah I was really lagging off yeah okay that's enough of that John we have to keep playing that

really deep bass that one isn't it I mean like she was getting the recording I mean I wasn't awake the recording right in the air well that set off another earthquake

I think that is very nice there you go Ben so it doesn't a wait. The recording right in the air. Well, that set off another earthquake, I think. That is very nice. There you go, Ben's. So it doesn't feel good. I thought we'd say, what did you say? And they know they're being recorded. But I love you. You abide by your rules.

You're like, hey, I record you and I play you on the radio. You record me. I take the hat. You know? Well, she did. She said it's good content. It's something that I would have said. And I'm like, oh.

She knows. Ben's secret recordings. They're not quite as cool as like Tupac's secret recordings or Kurt Cobain's, but we'll get them out there. That's right. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And the Rugby World Cup is on over in France. Yeah, and Cherie Kinnear from the New Zealand Herald is reporting the entire tournament

and joins us now from France. Hey, thanks for having me. Yeah, how is things in France? It's definitely a lot warmer over here, I can say that for sure. Oh, listen, Paris, this building being... Yeah, you're right, Axe, I take it back. I love this place. What is it like over there?

Is it a huge event locally? Is everyone talking about it? Yeah, it's been pretty massive. We've been on the road over the last two weeks. We started in Paris. Huge event locally. Is everyone talking about it? Yeah, it's been pretty massive. We've been on the road over the last two weeks. We started in Paris. We've been in Lyon, Toulouse, and now we're here in Bordeaux. So I've had a good chance to look at a lot of the main cities that are hosting World Cup games and teams.

And it's just been quite incredible, really. All the city centres are decked out with Rugby World Cup flags. All the bars have all the World Cup posters up and they're hosting games. And the fans as well over here have been pretty incredible. At the All Blacks Namibia game last weekend, I was just blown away with the fan engagement and everyone was singing in the crowd. And even after the game we were in a press conference with the all blacks, which is about just over an hour,

under an hour after the game. And the crowds were still outside the stadium singing and dancing. And it was like a massive festival. So the vibe over here has been, uh, really incredible. That's cool. I saw a photo of a guy,

uh, magnificent looking Frenchman and speedos on top of his friend's shoulders in a grandstand. And I was like, if that's the vibe of the whole place, loving it. Yeah, it's really great to see fans engage. And even last weekend at a game where most of the fans or at least many that I spoke to

weren't even necessarily like All Blacks or Namibian supporters, just French people. And they dressed up in All Blacks gear just for the night and getting you know, getting amongst it. That's very cool because there's a bit of a gap in between some games. The All Blacks have like a bye this weekend. So what do you do? Do you just have to bloody follow them around Europe and stalk them, do you?

No, we pretty much are just following them around. I mean, the other day we were on the same train as them, so it was quite funny rocking up to the train and then all the police and the bodyguards and everyone were around blocking everything off the All Blacks to get on the same train as them, so it was quite funny rocking up to the train and then all the police and the bodyguards and everyone were around blocking everything off to be all black to get on the train. It's been pretty cool sort of watching even just the fanfare around them in every city that we go to. Well, it's incredible you mentioned some police security.

Are they surrounded by police everywhere they go? Travelling as a team and they're going to their hotels and they're kind of in that space. Yes, there is a huge presence. I actually walked past the hotel today that are staying and there's some security guards outside all the time. But in saying that, it does seem like they're allowed

to have a bit of downtime on their own because I've walked into a couple of them having dinner or on electric scooters around in the city and they seem to be on their own. But I think it's sort of a balance between those more sort of official arrivals and going to trainings and stuff where you see the massive police turnout.

Jeez, we don't need Sam Kane running around on an electric scooter. I saw two on, two on one together. No, get them off the scooter, Cherie. A couple of All Blacks on one, yeah. Yeah, no, we were doing, we were actually filming our news bulletin last week and then a whole bunch of them just scooted right past. They're big lads, you know. That's a lot.

Anyway, anyway. It's a lot for that scooter to handle. How are we feeling? Because obviously the All Blacks, you know. That's a lot. Anyway, anyway. It's a lot for that scooter to handle. How are we feeling? Because obviously the All Blacks, you know, lost the first game against France, which would have been probably great for the French fans, but not so great for All Black fans. How are we feeling heading into the quarterfinals?

Yeah, I think everything's still feeling really good for the team. They had a really good performance against Namibia at the weekend, and we always kind of knew going into it all respect to Namibia but you know we knew it was going to be a blowout score on the end I think the test against Italy next weekend

will be an interesting one to see from a lot of the French fans who've spoken to it they think they've already won the World Cup so I don't know maybe the cockiness

might you know trip them up if any team can be cocky it could be the French they've got the le coq on there that's their thing right that's their jam what's the most unusual thing you've seen over there in France?

I mean, obviously a different culture, a wonderful culture, but I saw on the 660 Instagram, they had sort of urinals that looked like they were out in public. They looked like they were peeing into a bin, but they were actually urinals that you sort of out there. In open air. In open air, but they sort of covered your bits and pieces. But yeah, I was like, that was on there.

I mean, I was like, yeah, they were like... Jeez, you have to be comfortable to do that, don't you? Yeah. Have you used any of those, Cherie? I can't say I've seen, or maybe I've just not noticed them, to be honest. I don't know. I have definitely not seen those. You haven't given one a crack, I'm guessing?

Are you sure they just weren't rubbish bins that I pegged into? I thought, but I had a sign above it saying, you're at Yernal's, yeah. There's literally, I kid you not, baguettes everywhere, lying around on the side of the road, people in their hands. I know baguettes are a bit of a stereotype with the French, but they're literally everywhere.

It's a cliche, they're just lying on the footpath. You can grab a baguette anywhere you want. Yeah, but it's just like, you can't escape them. It's every corner. Yeah. Cherie's just like you can't escape them at every corner. Yeah. Cherie Kinnear from the New Zealand Herald on her company-funded sabbatical in Europe. Lovely to hear from you, mate. Bring us back some tyberone from the airport.

Sounds good. Will do. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Was heading out the door this morning, trying to head into work early as we do, and dead rat inside the house but the advantage that we have getting up in the middle of the night is I didn't see it there I thought about that you did but you you did it you cleaned it up well it was like a dead rat lying on there now the cat had obviously brought the rat in and quite far away from the cat door

as well he got down the hallway down towards the other outside door and it was lying there on the ground i kind of saw it and then i went i'm gonna have to deal with that in just a second as i leave went and made myself a hot drink and then i was like yep still there and just to give it a chance you know because if it was still moving alive still kicking you can do it and it was definitely there and then you know i i didn't want to have to get it. Did you spade? Did you get a spade? Oh, no, I did inside, but I got a bag.

And then I kind of went to the bag and used the bag, you know, put my hand on the outside of the bag and went to pick it up. So I didn't touch the rat myself. But even still, the rat was there. I just felt like at any stage the rat was going to move and I was going to freak out. Even the feet, that is an unusual feeling, isn't it, when you're picking up a lifeless rat?

It's up there with you having to pick up your dog's excrement, isn't it? You're like, you know what's coming. You're not going to like the feel of it. No, I didn't. It's going to be warm, squishy. I did like the feel of it. Even through a bag, even through a paper bag, I was just like, and I sort of ran it.

I thought if any neighbours were watching me run it out. Where did you put it? To the bin, because it's bin day as well. So I was like, I'll run it out to the bin. But I did look, like, I definitely looked like, yeah, anyway, I looked like a six-year-old going, you know, like running around. I was not in my happy place. That'll be in someone's security footage.

Don't you worry about that. There's no way I can feel confident in that situation. No. But mind you, you've had a jumping, frothing at the mouth rat leap up at you before. It got caught in the, well, it didn't get caught. It was just in sort of by the fence in the area and the dog was barking at it and it couldn't get out. Yeah, you don't want to get a rat cornered.

It was cornered, yeah. And then I think it just kept launching at the dog. And I came out there and it started launching at me and I was thinking, well, it's not me, mate, it's the dog. And the dog and i both headed inside we're like well someone else could deal with that it was obviously you know it's the rat's house now kids we had one uh in the roof that uh rip rat oh really yeah and we couldn't find it so we got uh the exterminator around and we're like mate can, can we sort this out? Because the whole house is just.

Oh, so it obviously passed away. Passed away in the vents and just pumping death, the smell of death through the house. And the last thing you want to hear in that situation from an industry professional is, I can't find it, mate. You're going to have to ride it out. I was like, what does ride it out mean? He's like, it'll be a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks, it'll eventually go away.

So I was like, we have to live in the smell of, I've never smelled anything like it. And then when people come over, you have to explain, hey, sorry guys. And they're like, okay. We're riding it out. But that's the thing, if you do ride it out, it goes away. Eventually, yeah.

So there's some rat skeleton up there festering away at the moment. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now your son Oscar has just sent us some audio of a bit of a challenge for us. Yeah, he's obsessed with The Simpsons. He's watched every single season of The Simpsons.

Oh, it's a great show. It's 1989. I've been watching it as a kid and now it's really cool to be watching it with my kids and still loving it. 30 plus years it's been going the longest running scripted television series in history that's incredible the good thing is the actors they keep working even though they're on strike don't have to worry about their pay demands uh but yeah he sent through this just moments ago

hi dad i want to see you in the list as a challenge to name 100 Simpsons characters. There are 435 in total. There's 435 characters on The Simpsons. Well, I don't reckon we can get to 100. 50 maybe. Well, do we need to name?

I think so. Because, I mean, off the top of my head, like a poo from the quickie mug, he's got eight kids. Now, you could knock off eight straight awayie Mart, he's got eight kids. Now, you could knock off eight straight away, but I don't know their names. But someone will.

He probably doesn't know their names. So do you think we'd have to name them? We can't just go Apu's eight kids. Yeah. We can lock in Apu. What's Apu's wife's name? I love that we started with Apu. Okay, well, let's start with the ones.

Okay, so you've got Marge and Homer. I shall write these down. Yeah, Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa, let's start with the ones. Okay, so you've got Marge and Homer. So I'll write these down. Yeah, Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Maggie. I think we'd probably best to go to a location first or a family and then knock them all off, like the bar. Oh, so we've got to get people to help us on our way out of the huts. But that's okay. The bar, what have we got? We've got Barney and Mo.

And then Lenny and Carl. Yeah. And that's all. It's the bar. There's the other guys here with the hat and the glove, but I don't know his name so that we can't put him on the list. Okay. Let's go Milhouse.

Let's go Flanders. Flanders. There's a whole lot of them. Rod and Todd. Maud Flanders. What's his wife's name? Maud. Maud.

Yeah. Who's RIP. Reverend Loved Joy. Loved Joy. Oh, jeez. Okay. Okay. 0800 the hits. 4.P. Reverend Loved Joy. Oh, jeez. Okay. 0800 the hits. 4487.

Dr. Hibbert, Dr. Nick, Krusty, Sideshow Bob, Sideshow Mel. 4487 on the text. Can we name at least 100 Simpson characters? Well, we'll see how we go. Georgia's phoned through. You got some tags to the mix, Georgia? Good morning, Santa's little helper is the most important character. Oh, yeah, and Snowball's the cat. I know that as well.

I've pretty much watched every, like, Oscar. That's good. Thank you, Georgia. Appreciate that. This is becoming New Zealand's mission, the team of five million. We haven't been together like this since the beginning of COVID. Then we all sort of hated each other for a while there, but now we're bringing them back.

Christina, Simpsons characters, we're trying to get to 100. Chief Wiggum and Ralph Wiggum. And who's his wife? Chief Wiggum's wife. If someone knows his wife, I know 100, the hits for her. No one's allowed to Google this, right? Yeah, no Google. Yeah, that's the rules.

Okay. We're taking it back to 1989 when they first started, when the internet wasn't readily available to us. So maybe it shouldn't be today. Can we get to 100? I'm going to have to frankly write down some of these while the songs are playing. Keep this coming through. 4, 4, 8, 7, 0, 0, 800, the hit.

Yeah. We're not doing two. Just cherry pick what we've got so far. Okay. Obviously the big bangers. We have Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Maggie. And then we jump around a lot. Barney, Moe, Len Lenny Carl, Milhouse.

Oh, Milhouse's parents, we haven't got a name as well. We need to name their names. Yeah. Someone texted in too, we were wondering the name of Apu's wife, Manjula. Manjula, yep. Have you got Nelson, Jimbo and Cletus? I haven't got Nelson. Jimbo the bully.

Kearney's the other bully I know as well. We'll go to Jess. Welcome. 0800 The Hits. We're out here doing God's work today. Nothing more important than us naming 100 Simpsons characters without using Google, Jess. What have you got? Jess.

Mr. Burns. Oh, Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Yeah, Mr. Burns. Have you got Smithers? No, I put him on the list. Mr. Burns and Smithers. Nice one, Jess.

Appreciate that. We'll go Briley. You're on in Auckland. Grandpa. Oh, Grandpa. Appreciate that. We'll go Briley. You're on in Auckland. Grandpa. Grandpa Abe Simpson. Yeah, Grandpa Simpson. That's a good, that's a really good one as well.

Groundskeeper Willie. I just thought, you just think of them. Someone's texting. Duffman. Oh, Duffman. Yeah, great. Where are we sitting at now?

We're sitting at 48 at the moment. Okay, we'll go to Hayden in Wellington. 100 Simpsons characters without Google, Hayden. I heard you just mention about Cletus and his wife Brandine. Oh, Brandine. They've got a whole lot of kids, but we need to know their names, so we can't put them under that. Yeah, I'm sure he's got about 1,000 kids old, Cletus.

He was very productive. Very productive. Contraception, not a thing for those two Selma and Patty someone's texting Selma the sisters yeah Selma Patty

oh that is beautiful Hayden we'll go to Jess in Tauranga more energy morning has Principal Skinner been done

Skinner is we're just putting Skinner on and then there's his mum mum Agnes Kripopo

Miss Hoover Superintendent Charmers yeah We're just putting Skinner on, and then there's... There's Mum. Mum, Agnes. Isn't that Kripopple? Yeah. Kripopple, Miss Kripopple. Miss Hoover is another one. Superintendent Chalmers. Chalmers, yeah. We used to grass keep winning. Large Lady Doris as well. And Homer's brother, Hubert, I think. Oh, yes.

Hubert. Who was the guy who came and he pitched the monorail to the town? Landley. Lyle Landley's the name. Yeah, I remember that from the monorail song. Yeah, Landly. Lyle Landly's the name. Yeah, I remember that from the monorail song. Yeah, there you go. Who's the lawyer? Hutz.

Hutz, yeah. Troy McClure. Faye. Faye, welcome. I feel like I'm just learning out names. Radio, eh? Faye, you're on. 100 Simpsons characters without Google.

Can we do it? Yeah, but I had Patty Bouvier and Selena Bouvier. Oh, Selma. Patty and yeah, good suggestions though. Really appreciate it. Sideshow, Bob Krusty,

the clown's come through. Oh, that's good. Mr. Teeny, the monkey, the character. Yeah. Tiana, welcome.

Itchy and Scratchy. Oh, Itchy and Scratchy. Haven't got them on the list. That's a great one. Disco Stu. Oh, Disco Stu hey where are we sitting now you think uh 56 now okay we can't i think moment there you go producer joel wasn't lady gaga on an episode of the simpsons as well well yeah do we count cameos i don't know we can't let's try to go core cast. Okay. Mando's, our boss is...

Oh, Poochie. Poochie. Poochie. Our boss is texting him now. The dog that Homer voiced in that episode. What about Spider Pig? Oh, yeah, Spider Pig. Yeah, that's great.

Okay, we'll keep this going through. 100 Simpsons characters. No one uses Google. Together on New Zealand's Breakfast, we're trying to get to 100 Simpsons characters. We need to name them. We can't just say, oh, what's that to 100 Simpsons characters. We need to name them we can't just say what's that person what was that one? We have to actually get their name. We're at 95. Yeah thank you so much

for banding together. If you achieve nothing else in this day to day we have helped us name 100 Simpsons characters without Google and we once you hit the 50 mark you're starting to get quite specific in terms of another text here 4 4487. Michelle Kwan.

Apparently this text says she was one of the athletes who signed up Homer to the Showboating Academy in that episode there, Ben Boyce. Have you got Kwan there? Well, I have now. She's on the list as well. We've got four more to go. There's so many great ones that you kind of go,

oh, that's right, you know. Hans Molman, Radioactive Man, Artie, who was Marge's first love All those sorts of things Well there's 435 of them, we might get over the ton But we'll get Briar on from Auckland Some specific ones you'd like to add in the mix Briar Yeah we've got Blinky The three eyed fish

Blinky the three eyed fish, yes of course Yep, I had Radioactive Man But you've already got that one I've got Professor Frank Professor Frank's a great idea. Perfect. Jasper. Jasper Beardley. From the old

person's home. That's right. With a beard. Yeah. Have you got Uta, the German kid? That's the name. Love the German kid. We were wondering what the kid's name was. I'm full of chocolate. Briar, you are a national treasure. Thank you so much.

Adam, where are we at? 97 now. How many can you name, Adam? Simpsons characters without Google. Yeah, mate, I'll give you, you know, Chester Lampwick. Chester? If I can use Google to Google Chester Lampwick. He was the original Itchy and Scratchy.

Oh, and he ended up being homeless and stuff. I remember. Yes. Older guy. The hobo. Yeah, yeah. Chester J. Lampwick. Okay, we're two away.

Have you got any more that we haven't got? Yeah, mate. You know, Frank Scorpio, the supervillain. Frank Scorpio. Is it Frank Scorpio? I love it. Or was it Hank Scorpio? Oh, Hank Scorpio. Yeah, it was. Oh, yeah, Hank Scorpio, the super villain. Frank Scorpio. Is it Frank Scorpio? I love it. Or is it Hank Scorpio? Oh, Hank Scorpio.

Yeah, it was. Oh, yeah, Hank Scorpio. Hank Scorpio. They're beautiful. Thank you so much, Adam. Let's get Ayla on. 100 Simpsons characters. I think we've got one or two to go, Ayla.

I'm not sure if it's already been said, but it's Nelson, the bully. Have we got Nelson, the bully? I don't know if we've got Nelson. We haven't got Nelson. No, Nelson's on there. We're one away. Have you got Old Gil, the salesman? No, Old Gil. We've done it.

Oh, well done, New Zealand. We have achieved something today. The haters said that you couldn't do it without Google, but you just did. 100 substance characters. We'll put the list up on the Hits Break for social media as proof. Yeah. Thank you so much for all of your help. We care.

The team of 5 million, we're back together. We banded together. We all split apart with the elections, but we got back together.