Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben washed his hair with WHAT?!

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Megans poem for her son's birthday. Things you can say at the supermarket and in the bedroom.... Would you do this for 10 million dollars? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Now, Producer Taylor, if I could bring Producer Taylor in. Lovely to have you in here, Taylor. Every morning, Taylor gets me to do something for her. And I don't think she understands the amount of pressure she's putting on me. Okay, so I feel like you're on a new different health kick every third day. I am. Have you noticed I'm glowing?

You are glowing. Thank you. Yeah, you look magnificent. Thank you. At the moment, you come in with this shake that looks like mud from the sewer system. It tastes like it too, if anyone's concerned. And it comes in a big plastic container. And every morning, she's like, can you open this lid for me?

Now, you have no understanding of what I'm going through. You're used, you are married to a professional rugby league player. You're used to the strength and the, like, it's a given. You hand anything to Marcelo,

it's going to get opened. You hand, look, I'm weak. I'm like, Mr. Burns off The Simpsons. Sorry, I don't mean to laugh so hard at that. And you're placing this on me every morning to open this jar for you. Surely you'd be stronger than Jono and me. Well, you know what? Like, I've got to give it to you because it's so,

because I do it the night before so I don't wake up the house. So it's in the fridge. And you know when you've got like moisture and condensation on the lid, mate, there is nothing my wrists they're stiff at 6am in the morning and you still manage to open it so good on you i feel like you put yeah it's like you compare marcello montoya to me it's like putting joe biden and duane the rock johnson in a weightlifting competition so if you get him to why doesn't he loosen it up in the morning oh because

then i floor it here in the car i'll end up all over my windscreen well you can share the pressure i'm not the person for this job either i'll open it for you yeah you could do it you got the arm strength megan the thing that was the other thing is too when uh people get you to open jars for you oh can you open this and you open and they like, well, I did all the heavy lifting. Yeah, I loosened it. Yeah, I loosened it. I ran across the finish line. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

The Super Bowl is happening in America. Feels like a lot more interest in this year's Super Bowl. The 49ers from San Francisco taking on Taylor Swift's boyfriend's team in the big game. You say a lot more interest, but I had no idea who the teams were. I just know that Travis Kelsey's playing. She's the NFL-O Taylor Swift's lifetime of gratitude for the priceless marketing.

She brought in a whole new audience of teenage girls and adults as well who also enjoy Taylor Swift and knew nothing about NFL like you, Megan. Where are the 49ers from? San Francisco. San Francisco. And then the Kansas City Chiefs is Taylor Swift's boyfriend's team. Yeah. And the 69ers, where are they from?

They're not actually a team. I'm just trying to get my NFL banter in. It was bad banter. But obviously people love the halftime show. You all would have heard about that in previous years, right, Megan? Yeah, that's the best bit. And the commercials, the commercials that companies pay millions and millions of dollars to get the exposure during the game.

I wonder if they've ramped up the prices this year because they know viewership will be probably at an all-time record. Do we even know if Taylor's confirmed that she's going? I don't think she's confirmed. We just made assumptions that she can make it, so she's going to be there. And the NFL left her a parking spot for a private jet. They did, actually.

So we're all assuming. Yeah. But the Beckhams, Dave and Victoria Beckham, have been in Uber Eats commercial. I think we played some of it last week where they were talking about, was the Be Honest, was taking the piss about the Beckham documentary, right?

Yeah. And saying they were in something pretty exciting. And it was Uber Eats commercial. And now they've got another one where they star in as well with a whole lot more celebrities. They've got Usher. He's in there. Jelly Roll's in there as well. And Ross and Rachel from Friends are in together. And the whole concept is about forgetting. Uber Eats

is so good you might forget something else in your life. And Ross and Rachel forget each other. Give me a hint. Worked together for 10 years? 10 years? Yeah. You were great. You still don't know,

do you? I don't. Right. Like I forget 10 years of my life. Pretty good, eh? Getting the Ross and Rachel back together.

Yeah. This is a good... Imagine how much money they would have done. Oh, yeah. And that's not even the cost to put the advert on air. On television.

You've got Ross, Rachel, Ashaher the beckhams yeah why have they chucked jelly roll in there it seems like a he's massive the country music you know we well i mean it's big here in new zealand but it's a whole huge audience you know probably more people would probably know who he was in america than maybe victoria but you know like parts of america they feel like they've covered their bases they've got Usher in there and they've got things smart play from Uber Eats

do you know the average ticket to go to the Super Bowl was $10,000 are you joking $9,850 US so you're looking about what's that

$13,000 $14,000 New Zealand dollars how do they sell out a stadium cost a living and then apparently for a 30 second advert in this year's Super Bowl, 30-second advert, you're paying $6.5 million.

Wow. That's some serious money, isn't it? It's a jump up from last year's 5.5. Jeez. It bumped the prices. Good on them. The Taylor Swift surge has taken the Super Bowl as well. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Yeah, I've seen this on social media, but I got told this a while ago, and it haunts me every day. I think about what I would do with this. But the question is, you get $10 million, but for the rest of your life, there is a super snail that is invincible and kills you by touching you that follows you around. It can board a plane and you cannot kill it. So you can't really escape the snail.

No, but also a snail is really slow, right? Right. So you could get on a plane now and go to the other side of the world. Yeah. But then how would the snail get there? Snail mail? The snail can travel. So the snail is still going at the snail's pace yep but can get on a plane as well right yeah so you did bring this up after the program yesterday and i did some pretty in-depth

research embarrassing amount of research actually if you looked at my internet history on the pace of a snail right okay so it'll take 20 hours for a snail to travel a kilometre. So if you do the maths on that, even if you move to the other side of a city, you've bought yourself a bloody week, haven't you? Oh, yeah. In that location. Because when you mentioned it yesterday, I was like, well, if you go to sleep, you're going to be like, I can't sleep because the snail's going to get me.

But if I know I'm more than a kilometre away. Well, if you're like in Brazil, obviously it's going to take the snail to get from here to the international airport. Yeah. Catch a flight, the flight's going to take the snail to get from here to the international airport. Catch a flight, the flight's going to do the heavy lifting on that one. Then the snail still has to board off the plane, then find you in Brazil. But then you've always got the snail trying to track you down. You've got to live your life with that anxiety. It's like me with the bloody Inland Revenue Department.

There's always someone trying to track you down, Ben. You change your name, you change your residential address and you're always on the run. Thrilling. I think the assumption is it always is following you. So it's not going to wait for you at home because it knows you're there. So you're going to go to bed and sleep and then it's going to spend all night chasing you there and then

you're going to come to work here and it's going to start chasing you here. What was the reward for this income? $10 million. And you're talking about just getting on planes and stuff but you've got a job you've got a family you've got

you know you can't just move around constantly but can I put him off the scent so to speak can I fly to Brazil and then come back to work and then he's like

but I guess you've got 10 million dollars so you don't have to work so sorry that cancels out half of my argument yeah but you've still got a family

but they can travel with you they're like guys we're on the you know I signed up to work so sorry that cancels out half of my argument yeah but you've still got a family but they could travel with you they're like guys you know i signed up to a life of the snail hanging over my head you're gonna get away from the snail you want 10 million dollars anxiety for me you wouldn't do it i don't know if i would you wouldn't take 10 million dollars it's a lot of anxiety constantly chase know, but it's just constantly chasing, very slowly, but constantly on my tail. It's standing on the snail at upship. No, it's invincible. Invincible snail.

Okay, Ben, are you doing it? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, $10 million is tempting, but then I have a lot of anxiety to start off with anyway, so the snail would be adding to it. So what's a snail chasing? Yeah, true.

Chuck it in there. Chuck it in there as well. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Megan, you just brought something to 0800 THE HITS or 4487 if you want to get involved about a killer snail. This is something for you to ponder at quarter to seven. Hypothetical situation, obviously, but yeah. You get $10 million, but for the rest of your life,

there is a killer snail that follows you, and it will kill you by touching you. You can't kill it. It can travel. What do you do? Do you take the money and forever be tracked by a very slow killer snail? Immediately, you're likely to take the money, but the more you discuss it and talk about logistics

and the admin involved from fleeing a snail chasing you for your entire life, is this till the day you die? Yep. And I imagine it's like, I'm just looking, snails can survive up to 25 years in captivity. So, yeah, but I imagine the snails. It's invincible. It's just not.

And it's always on the move. So you can't trap it. You can't crush it. You can't. Great solution here from Grace, who works on the show. What was your idea? I thought you could put a tracker on it. But you can't touch it.

But you could chuck it on or get someone else to. I feel like it's a super snail. It's not going to let you. Super glue. I wanted to know, is it obvious it's the snail? Can you paint the shell highlighter colour so that you're not just scared of every snail? I don't know if it's obvious. Surely it is. Oh, right. Otherwise, yeah. I see that you're not just scared of every snail. I don't know if it's obvious. Surely it is.

Oh, right. Yeah. Otherwise, yeah. I see what you're saying. So you go outside and you're like, oh, there's another snail in the garden. I feel like you're going to buy yourself enough enjoyable years. Something's going to get you at some point. I think it will get you quicker than you think because you're going to drive to work and

it's going to come halfway by the time you finish work and go back. And it only has to go halfway back. So you're not even going to sleep through the night. You're always going to be on the move, aren't you? Yeah. You know, you're never going to be. Yeah. You think it's slow, but. Well, you just stay a bit longer at work.

You wait for it to arrive. See you later, mate. Go back home and be like, ah. Emma, we'll get you on. What would you do with this very real situation? I would travel around and I would take a private jet so that it can't get on the private jet. So it has to travel commercial.

Yeah, like Taylor Swift. You just get on a private jet and away you go. That's smart. Where would you travel to? Antarctica. Oh's smart. Where would you travel to? Antarctica. Oh, okay. I really thought you were going to say somewhere warmer. Yeah.

I feel like you're going to sink a lot of that 10 million private jet costs too. That's your solution though. Good on you, Emma. That's it. Okay. What are you doing up at this time of morning, Emma? Why are you up so early in the morning? I've got to get ready for school.

Win the morning, win the day, mate. Good on you, Emma. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, this was nominated for the Grammys this year, wasn't it, for Best Vocal Recording about people who you might think are dead. This is Dead or Alive. year wasn't it for best vocal recording uh about people who you might think are dead uh this is dead or alive because sometimes you get uh celebrities you're like oh they still with us were they still around so i wanted to put you guys to the test this morning with no offense

meant to the celebrities that are still living we think might be dead no that's right okay so dick van dyke now of course he was in was in Mary Poppins back in the day. Dick Van Dyke. Now, if he was alive, if he was alive, 98 years old. I only know Dick Van Dyke. Doesn't he do like a New Year's show? Yes. With Ryan Seacrest.

Yeah. Although now, Ryan Seacrest. I think Dick Van's dead, I think. Dick Van Dyke is Dick Van dead. Dick Van died. Well, Dick Van alive. He's still alive. Oh, is he?

98. Sorry, Dick. Still kicking. Chim Chimney. Yeah, definitely. He must have just only recently stopped that New Year's show. He was still doing it at age. Yeah, I think it's still called Dick Van Dyke's New Year's show,

but Dick Van Dyke hasn't been part of it. Much like this will be the John O'Bed show, we'll be no longer part of it. It's on stage. Tony Bennett, jazz singer, performed with Lady Gaga. Oh, Tony Bennett. He'd be 96 years old if he was alive.

I think he's dead. I think I remember Gaga doing a performance, like a tribute to him. One of the legends in jazz music. I'm just going to say Tony Bennett's still

kicking on. Still singing at the clubs in Vegas. No, sadly he passed away middle of last year. I regret saying this. No longer with us. And this one,

you'll probably get this one. Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers of all time, would be 82 years old if he was alive. He's still alive. Is he still alive? Yeah, he's still alive.

I'm so bad, you know what I've been doing? Last week I went out to the jungle. I wrestled with an alligator. I tussled with a whale. I had a handcuffed lightning. No thunder in jail. I'm bad, man. It's very, very, very, very.

Just to clarify, he did none of those things. No, sadly, he passed away quite a few years ago. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, man. It's very, very, very, very. Just to clarify, he did none of those things. No, sadly, he passed away quite a few years ago. Did he? Oh, John. 2016. So there you go. Look at his face. Titty.

Muhammad Ali. I thought he was still. 74 years old. He ruined his morning. One of the greatest boxers of all time. I thought I'd remember that. Oh, there you go. Did you know that?

Yes, I did know that. Did you know that? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. No. Oh, well, that you go. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Did you know that? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. No. Oh, well, that is terrible. This is why this segment is really, it's a rollercoaster of emotions. Like people you think were still kicking, they've gone.

Yeah. It was almost eight years ago he'd sadly passed away as well, but that is dead or alive for another week. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We were talking about this yesterday After a shocker wedding speech On Married at First Sight And Megan you were saying You're a first wedding

My ex-mother-in-law Said one that pretty much Called me a gold digger That's when you step in and say What? How much money did you get out Of the relationship? Because it's over

No I lost a bit of money You didn't dig any gold It was Kanye West Your mother-in-law? But a load of texts and calls we had after we did the topic yesterday. And Olivia, welcome to the show. Thank you. Hi.

Lovely to have you on. Wedding speech shockers. You witnessed one. Yes, I did. Actually, we were in South Africa at the time. And my husband's best friend is actually in the Royal Marines. So they were all kitted in their full gear. And the wedding was really long and it was really hot outside. And they had three ministers. And one of them was actually the bride's father.

Oh, like a church minister. Pastor, yes. Three of them. Three of them running the operation. Yes, three of them running the operation. And of course, her father was one of them. And when it was his turn to do his part of the ceremony, his whole ceremony was based on cheating and how the groom would be tempted by

the seven virgins. I'm not quite sure who they were, but he was reading this out of the Bible. Did he point out the virgins in the room? Thankfully not. I don't think there were many. No, he couldn't and then like I said he obviously

then had the whole thing about cheating and how he would he would be keeping an eye on the groom and making sure that he is not tempted and basically

they got divorced within I'd say probably about two three years and he had actually cheated on her oh wow yes so it was a bit of a shocking ending yeah one of those bloody divorced within, I'd say, probably about two, three years, and he had actually cheated on her. Oh, wow. Yes, so it was a bit of a shocking ending.

One of those bloody frisky virgins finally got to him, eh? One of the seven. One of the seven. It was a numbers game. It's hard to turn down seven of them. Oh, jeez, nothing quite like a bloody threatening religious speech to bring the party alive. No, it's not. It's not.

A threatening dad speech. Yeah. And not so threatening to the groom on the actual wedding day. Yeah, Olivia, hey, thank you so much for your time. Really appreciate you calling. No worries. We're just talking about wedding speech shockers. Who invented the wedding speech?

It feels like they've bestowed an unnecessary amount of stress on people who probably don't enjoy public speaking i think that's the thing and i mean you probably know going through you know two weddings megan but sometimes you go through and you're like why are we doing this like it's tradition but like who's tradition you know like people are only gonna have a cake you're like well do we even the veil you're like well the origins of the veil is not very progressive but you know and it's quite it's the veil is not very progressive, but, you know, we do it. It's quite good now that, you know, people can decide. You know, if you don't want speeches, don't do speeches.

Yeah. It's your wedding day. You're right. Well, somehow we keep managing to wedding shame Megan every show that she's on her second marriage. Just so you know, Megan Pappas, who's just joined the show. I've had three last names. Yeah.

There we go. I just switch it up. A lot of aliases. And if you miss that, we'll update you again tomorrow on've had three last names. Yeah. There we go. I just switch it up. A lot of aliases. And if you miss that, we'll update you again tomorrow on that one. Two weddings. Yeah, wow.

Kirsty with us this morning. Great to have you on, Kirsty. Morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, we're doing well. Wedding speech shockers. What happened? I did all the, you know,

the classic speeches and my husband then got up and he thanked everyone. He thanked my parents and his parents for coming out. And then he told all the bridesmaids how beautiful they looked and thanked all the guests and then sat down and he completely omitted to mention his beautiful new bride. Oh, he didn't say how beautiful you looked on the day? No, no, just how beautiful the bridesmaids were and didn't you know, didn't they look lovely standing up there, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, right. When did he find out about this?

Because I imagine it wasn't intentional. I think I probably elbowed him as soon as we sat down. And I've never let him forget it. I think we're coming up 12 years married now. He literally thanked every other, I guess, member of the bridal party, plus the guests, et cetera, et cetera. And just, yeah, the one person that really should have been gushing about. But he can gush over you for the rest of his life.

Yeah. Constant gushing. I mean, that's what he'd say. Just trying to come up with a defense for it. You have a great day, Kirsty. Appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks, guys.

See you, mate. Chantel with us. We're doing. See you, mate. Chantel with us. We're doing some wedding speech shockers. Chantel, it was your sister-in-law's wedding. Yes, it was. And what was the conversation that happened? Grims were already drunk before they said, I do. And they started betting off how long the wedding will last.

That night went on and he kept getting more drunk, and there was a big fight on the dance floor, and we decided to go. Jeez. So he made a speech taking a bet on how long the marriage was going to last. Yep. And then had a fight on the dance floor. Yeah, big fight. Yeah, big fight on the dance floor.

That's high impact. That's a high impact guest right there, isn't it? Yeah, big fight. Yeah, big fight on the dance floor. That's high impact. That's a high impact guest right there, isn't it? Sure was. I was outside for the bride and the end. I think she had enough of it by the end of the day. Did she invite him to the thing that, you know, how they have the barbecue the next day after the wedding? No, they kind of

had a few words to him and yeah, that was it, I think. How long did the marriage last? They're still married now, nearly. So far, nearly a year. Oh,

they're going, all right. Still plenty of time to get divorced and his bets to come through. Oh, exactly that. You're going to have

a great day, Chantel. Appreciate it. You're welcome. Bye. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Megan,

I'm going to ask this question to you because for obvious reasons, okay. Well, I don't know what the obvious reasons are. I'm going to ask this question to you because obvious reasons okay well I don't know what the obvious reasons are shampoo now we all know what the obvious reason is we've just tuned on to the show Ben has built a career of mocking me about my disability

he could shampoo his stubble he could shampoo actually I asked both of you as well so what's the protocol when you're staying in somebody else's house family members house stubble. You could shampoo actually. I asked both of you as well. So what's the protocol when you're staying in somebody else's house? Yeah. Family member's house, people you know well. You have a shower, whatever, and you're like, oh I need to wash my hair. Haven't gotten a hair

shampoo. Can you just help yourself to stuff that's in the shower facility? Yeah, family members and people you know well I would. Right. Was it tight family? Cousins? Yeah, it was my mum's. Oh was my mum's house. Of course you can. So that's okay.

Go for it. Because I wasn't really sure of the protocol, but I was staying at my mum's house over the weekend, and I needed to wash my hair because we went to the beach, and I was like, I don't have any shampoo, but there's some sitting there on the ground of the shower. So you'd help yourself to a little bit of that. But I didn't know the protocol behind it,

so I helped myself to that, washed my hair. And then I went, that's got a really strange odor, this shampoo. And I looked at the bottle and it was pet shampoo. My mom had been obviously washing her dogs. After they'd come back from the beach, she'd left it in the shower. All week I've had a desire to scratch your belly and call you a good boy.

Well, thank you. Now I know why. I have got a lovely coat at the moment going on with my hair. No fleas, no scratching. But very strange owner. But then I didn't want to come out and complain because I didn't want to look like the person that was just helping myself to shampoo that I shouldn't be helped. What was the smell of it? Like milk and oat or something?

It just seemed like a weird sort of like, you know what it's not, it's fine, but it's just not shampoo. It's not like, yeah. It's, you smell like a pet.

Yeah. A nice smelling pet. Yeah, yeah. A bad smelling human, but a nice smelling animal. Yeah, Rachel Hunter's not going to be on a Pantene ad talking about the benefits of pet shampoo.

And how does your hair feel? Yeah, it felt a little weird for a while. They were trying to overcompensate by washing it with actual shampoo. So I probably used a lot more shampoo in that situation. Right. So not something I would recommend. I mean, you know.

Hair is hair. Surely it's got the same ingredients to shampoo. It probably has, to be honest. It probably has. Hey, listen, like you say, it's not my field of expertise. Maybe I'm not taking your advice. Maybe you've abused your hair and that's why you've got none now. Maybe that's what happened to you all those years ago.

Oh, mate. Well, good luck to you. And you're a good boy. You're a good little boy, Benny. Thank you. Thank you. Come here, you little boy. What a treat.

You'll scratch my leg. It starts going when he scratches me like that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I shared this with you yesterday morning. There's the creeping smell of death permeating around the household. Something's decomposing and we can't find where it is.

And I got home yesterday and just hit with the you know when you open the doors, it's been shut. Just hit with that wall of unmistakable You can't even describe the smell, can you? Sometimes with smells though you do get acclimatised to it

you get in the house and after a while you're like oh it's not that bad and then someone else fresh comes home and they go oh

yeah you've been cooking fish or whatever like if you came over to my house right now you'd be like have you got body stored somewhere

you know I couldn't be one of those people because I can't I'm gagging every time I walk into the house You don't appreciate that

Like if you did go around to a serial murderer's house You'd be like John Wayne Gacy You seem like a fun Light a Nicoya or something Dress up as a clown Make me laugh mate But you do go through the different stages of denial

I find when there's something rotting Don't you? You're like no No definitely not, definitely not, definitely not, until it reaches that point where something needs to be done about it. Well, yesterday you said you were going to, early in the morning yesterday, you're like, I've got a number, I text someone, it's not too early, I fire it off, it was like 6.30. Yeah, and he was willing to come, and then I was like, oh, no,

we don't need him. You know, we don't need him. It's hot, summer, whatever it is, decompose quickly. Alright, so you cancelled the person. Yeah, I cancelled him. But now I'm going to rebook him to come over. But I've been obsessed with odours over the last 24 hours and I got into

an internet hole of the top three worst odours as voted by nostrils worldwide. And I want to see if you can guess what they are. Oh jeez. I'll give you a clue. voters as voted by nostrils worldwide. And I want to see if you can guess what they are. Okay. Oh, jeez. Top three.

I'll give you a clue. The smell of desperation from this radio studio is not in the top three. I would say, well, you know, appearance, you know, like changing a nappy, you know, that can be a, so anything to do with that stuff that comes out from behind. Okay, I'll give it raw sewage. So I'll put that in the raw sewage. The raw sewage category, yes. The raw sewage.

Okay, so not a nappy. You go raw sewage. Is that one of the three? That's number two. But in particular, a bi-category of the raw sewage, which is the fatberg, which is a nickname Ben gives me when I ride back for New Year's. Hello, Fatberg.

Rotting, something rotting, is that in the top? No, nothing rotting, no. Have you had to express a dog's anal glands before? That is honestly the most horrific smell. Bucket list stuff, that. It's not a poopy smell. It's something unworldly. That's not on there?

That's not on there. Surprising. I'll take it. Quite close to home in New Zealand. Sulfur. Yes. Sulfur. Oh, that's high.

The top three worst smells. What I'm to do is like, hey. Yeah. Again, you get used to it. Yeah. I find it strangely comforting, and it reminds me of Thriving local tourism

Yeah It's just those eggs right So is that in the top three And what's the other one Well you're not going to get The other one Because it's a Compound only known to science

Is thioacetone I'm probably pronouncing that wrong Right Thioacetone Which apparently Induces vomiting Nausea And for people to pass out

Within a Two kilometre radius. Oh, wow. So really bad. I need to smell it. I want to smell it. Yeah. We're two k's away.

You can smell it. Also, special shout outs to apparently whale corpses. Oh, yeah. They're no good. And I'm going to chuck one in there at the teenage boy's bedroom. Unmistakable mix of lynx Africa and unwashed PE gear and raging hormones. And Jono's house. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

I just got told this story about a friend of a friend who's a real estate agent. And Ben, you mentioned before 8 o'clock, probably the worst thing that could happen to any real estate agent in the real estate agent game. Yeah. To put it in perspective, in our job, probably leaving the mics on when we're having... Heated discussions. Heated when we're having heated discussions.

Heated discussions, off-air discussions. Or just when Producer Taylor comes into the room and the mics are still on. Yeah, just the Italian flair really comes to the forefront sometimes. So that would be the worst thing that could happen in our job, is to have the mic on when Taylor thinks she's not on air. But as a real estate agent, I would imagine this would probably be, this would be up there as one of the worst things you could do. So he took a couple and their kids to a house

and was showing them around the house. This was during the weekday, so it wasn't like an open home situation. Turned up to the house and just looked under the mat, grabbed the key. It's in a rural area too, so the home security systems are still, you put the key under the mat scenario. We were very trusting back in the day, weren't we, with that? Yeah. Yeah.

Some places still are, as you say. Yeah. Which is lovely. It's lovely to know there's some places you can easily break into out there in the regions. But he walked into the house, showing the family around. The kids were playing. I want this room. I want that room.

There was a trampoline there. They're bouncing on the trampoline. So everyone's in there. Everyone's in there looking around, opening cupboards as you would do to inspect the storage facility, just seeing what potential the property had. And he said it was a textbook showing of a home. And that afternoon, I got a call from the owner of the house who said, Hey, how was the couple?

Did they like the house? He said, they loved it. They, oh, he said, pretty much we can get them across the line. Kids were bouncing on the trampoline. They were doing everything. And they said, trampoline? Question mark. Uh-oh.

He said, yeah, the trampoline in the backyard. They said, we don't have a trampoline. Oh, no. So it's this point he's realized, uh-oh, in the backyard? They said, we don't have a trampoline. Oh, no. So it's this point he's realised, uh-oh, I may have shown a couple through a home that wasn't for sale. What's the legalities on that? Well, they don't know, do they?

Obviously, the couple that went through the house, they know and they love the place. They want to buy it. It's not breaking and entering either because they've got a cat. Yeah. They entered. So it's showing a family through the completely wrong house. And being a decent person and obviously an upstanding member of the real estate community.

Yes, they all are. So trustworthy. He went over to the house with a bottle of bubbles and was like, you're never going to believe this. But there's a couple who are very interested

in this property. What? There is? Yeah, they've seen it all. Got on the person for doing that. Yeah, no, he did the right thing.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Okay, so I was just telling a story about a friend of a friend who's a real estate agent and through a slow process of elimination realised that he had broken into a house and shown a couple around a house that wasn't for sale.

Geez, your two options there are you're like, well, the owners could never find out, but then I'd get paranoid that there might have been security cameras. Yeah, my friend of mine had to do a community service many years ago, and he spent all day painting a fence, and they came back and checked it on him at the end of the day, and they were like, great fence, did a great job, wrong house. Oh, no.

And he painted the fence of their house next to them. But great. I mean, those people coming home, their fence. Even if you saw it, you'd be like, there's a guy painting a fence. Do we tell him or? Just keep him going. What a weird surprise to come home him? Just keep him going. Keep him going. What a weird surprise to come home to.

I know, surprise. Painted your fence. You'd be like, did our fence get painted today? Oh, was that you? No, it wasn't me. Because you have done community. I have done community. No, I didn't have to paint fences. It's fine.

But it wasn't me. We told you about the school fair he turned up to. They all thought he turned up to out of the goodness of his heart the mothers were like oh he's so nice turning up to this

Ben did well yeah because part of my court appointed community service was going to help out at some various things and so this was all legit

the people the organisers knew why I was there but then people would come out and go so nice you're giving your time today but you didn't tell them

did you oh my god Ben you're too honest no i don't enjoy compliments so i was like oh you know it's not you know i thought you were like yeah i'm only here because of community service some people knew that they definitely knew that anyway let's get back to real estate agents guys it's not about me i love it we had stipulated what crime he did either and we'll just leave it there. Leave it there. Leave it there. You can guess.

I was the real estate agent showing people through the house. So 800 of the hits this is what we're after this morning. Real awkward real estate moments. Paula.

Oh yes. Now what happened to you? Well I was in the shower I'd had the child in bed at that stage my small child so I was being really quiet it was during the day and I left had the child in bed at that stage, my small child, so I was being really quiet.

It was during the day and I left the bathroom door open and the smoke alarms were just outside the door and around the house. So the stains from the shower set the smoke alarms off. And so I went running through the house to try just to make sure that there was no fire and with my towel so I could swipe the steam away. But I also have a lot of glass windows and doors. And I didn't realise that whilst I had found the offending alarm and I was busy chasing away the steam with my towel and very little else, he was standing at the door and had been knocking. Oh, no.

The real estate agent had been. Oh, yeah. And the really, really sad thing is I knew the guy and his wife really well. Oh, so you're like, no clothing on, fanning away with that, yeah. Yeah, just leasing. Don't say fanning. Fanning is not the right word. And so he could see, well, you fanning away.

He could see probably just about everything. Everything. Oh, wow. There you go. Did you answer the door? No. Hell no. Yeah, what do you do?

Do you obviously stare each other in the eyes? No. He left. He turned around and left. And, yeah, I just kind of just sort of died, really. Well, he definitely took a photo with nature's camera, his eyeballs that day, didn't he? Oh, yeah. At least day didn't he? Oh yeah

At least I didn't have to call someone to resuscitate him. That's brilliant Paula, you go and have a great day You guys too The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Something we've started the last couple of weeks It's been really great, it's got some great comments on our social media

at the Hits Breakfast on Facebook and Instagram is things you can say in the bedroom and dot dot dot and we throw out a different scenario each week and some of you are really good at this

really good too good Megan's getting a little bit gun shy she's like is this the time where people are getting dropped off

kids little humans are being dropped off at school so we're just saying things that you can say in a supermarket yeah these are all things you can say in the supermarket

but then obviously if they said in the bedroom different connotations but at the supermarket. Yeah, these are all things you can say in the supermarket, but then obviously if they said in the bedroom, different connotations, but in the supermarket, it's, yeah. These are all things I would comfortably say in my local supermarket. And pack and save. Woolworths. Yeah, exactly.

But you also could say them in the bedroom as well. Some of these I probably wouldn't comfortably say in the bedroom, to be honest. To be honest, quite weird if you said, there's a clean-up in aisle two while you're in the bedroom. Yeah, yeah. So let's take that one off the list.

What is aisle two in the bedroom? I don't even know. I don't know. Don't overthink this. Here we go. Things you can say in the bedroom and also at the supermarket. I might grab myself a couple of lemons. You can say lemons

when that's what my wife says in the bedroom. A bit of a lemon. Self-service is quicker. Wow. That's a big eggplant there. I might just grab my own nuts. It doesn't work

when you read those ones. You should have said that one. You can pick and choose these ones. Why don't you go, why don't you say there's a wide selection of nuts in there. Oh sorry I

should have left the kids at home. Why are they there? But you're at home in the bedroom.

Yeah. I'm at someone else's house. Oh. The kids are home. Yeah.

Is it your wife? Oh look this is a hypothetical situation. Again don't overthink it. Okay. Is it a hand to know? Your wife? Oh, look, this is a hypothetical situation. Again, don't overthink it, okay? That's a good size one. I think I'll just do the self-service.

Mmm, nice soft buns. Can I help you with your bags? Is this okay to eat? You can't stick your stuff here. This lane is actually 12 items or less. I don't even understand that one. No, no, no. Now we're just saying stuff. This is from the Facebook.

Yeah. And let's finish it off with one. Love a good sausage. It's a big sausage. Things you hear in the supermarket. And would sound a bit unusual in the bedroom. Yeah, some of them would sound quite unusual as well. Hey, next.

Someone's texting, would you like a free sample? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That does, Megan? No, no, Megan's not sold on that. In the bedroom? Oh, jeez. No, okay, we'll stop dissecting.

I think we're probably going to stop doing that now, Megan. You've really sucked the air out of that. Now, Megan, it's Bastian, your son's birthday. Yes. Basti. Basti. Basto. The Bastinator.

He gets called lots of things. Bastiano Ronaldo. Yeah. Three years old today? He's three today. Yeah, nice. So, late last night, I was like, do you know what? I'm going to write him a wee poem.

I don't think he'll sit through it if I read it to him. Are you a poetry writer normally? Not really. Right. No, I haven't got like a book of poetry or anything. I like to like write things like little riddles and games and stuff. Oh, cool. So I have made it rhyme for your listening pleasure.

I like it. I mean, that's all you need to do. Yeah. Sometimes poems don't rhyme. No, they do. That's just some words that you just put down, you know? You're wearing a scarf and a free-flowing shirt that's only got two buttons done up. And so, yeah, I'm being a little bit self-indulgent, but, you know, I've got a captive audience.

That's right, yeah. So this is for my little boy. His name's Bash and I call him Bastie. He's three years old today. Three years ago, your dad and I started this ride. Terrified, sure, but there was nowhere to hide. We had a dream, our sweet little boy. We'd been trying for years to experience this joy.

Now that you're three, I can honestly say that loving you, Basti, gets easier each day. You brighten up every room that you're in. I swear I'll never get sick of that grin. And when we go walking out on the street, you offer that smile to strangers you meet. Your vibe is contagious. You're such a cool dude. And I love that you share our fondness of food. All we want is your happiness and good health and for you to have a true sense of self.

We'll do all that we can to keep you from strife and love you sweet Basti for the rest of your life. Oh, that is very nice. It was lovely. Now, Ben, you did ask. Remember, if I could take you back to 45 minutes ago, you said, can I mock you for this? How do I react to this?

How do I react? So what are you going to do? It was lovely. I felt a lot of feelings that I've tried to suppress for many years. It was lovely. Lovely feelings. That was lovely. It was lovely.

I can't mock you. I can't mock you after that. I mean, you did fat shame your kid a little bit. We're talking about food, but that's apart from that. Beautiful. That's very nice. It was beautiful. Why would he not sit through that?

It was only like a minute. He's three. He's got no patience. He's like, mum's worked hard on this. He's like, can't even sit through an episode of Bluey well happy birthday bestie enjoy eating sand

from the sand pit today my friend