Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben's Daughter Has A Problem With Our Show

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Ben's daughter has a big problem with our show We talk to a Polar Bear?? It is a crazy time of the year! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Jono, my daughter Sienna, got a bit of an issue with us, bit of an issue of late, something that we haven't done for her. Okay, talk to me mate, what's going on? Well, she said last night, she said, I've got something we need to talk about, and you know me, you know my policy, if we've got to talk about something, I like to record it in case I can use it for one, evidence in court, or two, I could play it on the radio. That's what happens. Now, I would like to know how much of your illicit recordings

haven't made it to you. You're like, hold on, I'll just record this, and it turns out to be nothing. It's just a father-daughter conversation where you're like, well, there's no content in this. I can't mind my children for this. This one where she was like, I want to talk about something that you're not doing on, you and Jono are not doing on the radio show.

So I was like, hold on, let me just voice memo out. Here we go. So this is my daughter Sienna last night. She is in Cats. She's going to be performing in Cats in a couple of weeks' time, the musical for our EMYT, and this is her issue with us. Okay, what's your problem just how come you haven't talked about like cats on your radio show i have talked actually i've

talked lots about you being in cats on the radio you haven't promoted it properly you haven't like told people to buy tickets i'm not gonna go on there and go buy tickets to cats well you talk about so much rubbish you may as well like i do so much free filming for you and Jono. Well, you do. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Okay.

All right. You've got an ad for Cats, M-Y-T Cats. You've got 10 seconds, though. That's all you've got. Okay, go. Cats, going to be the end of the month at Kitty Tikanawa Theatre. Ticket from Ticketmaster. Well, actually, that was pretty good.

I know. Less than 10 seconds. Yeah. So, there you go. So, it kind of got away, but she was like, hey, well, what good is a radio show if you're not promoting it? Well, listen, why? And it bewilders me why we haven't spent 10 minutes of airtime talking about amateur theatre. Youth theatre.

Children's amateur theatre. She's right. We probably should have spent three days on it, to be honest. Well, we're doing this whole mascot race, you're right. Well, really, our focus should have been, she's right, we probably should have spent three days on it, to be honest. Well, we're doing this whole mascot race, you're right. Well, really, our focus should have been on that. But they have been training really hard, and you're putting a lot of effort in, and it's pretty cool. But I went back and I was like, well, I had a little bit more. I thought of a joke.

I thought of a dad joke. So I got the report. How many minutes later was this? Oh, this is probably seven to eight minutes later. But it'll sound like it was immediately afterwards. I went back and I went, oh, here's the reason why. Here's a dad joke. Okay, I feel bad for not promoting it,

but do you want to know the real reason why I haven't talked about it? Yeah, I do. Because I'm allergic to cats. Ha-ha. That was a great sneak. Ready? That was good. Am I a good enough performer to be in Cats? I reckon you could be like a tree

That a cat pees on So I've got to roll as a tree That the cat pees on in Cats It's coming up mate in a couple of weeks It was solid Tough audience Now if we're all out here plugging stuff i mean yeah this is like what this is donald trump white house nepotism it is finest

going on here but what good is a radio show that was her point if you can't talk about something that she's doing okay well if we all if we've all got something to plug i've got my online scamming business which could do some shout outs uh Listen, this month's been a bit tough. Obviously, there's a lot of scams out there to compete with, Ben, a lot of convincing ones. But just to let you know, we're in the market, we're in the game. Love you to just click on the link. It would be quite useful.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Stormy week for many parts of the country today, particularly on the West Coast, so that doesn't sound too good. But what is going to be awesome is our mascot race. We decided the hits here at the radio station, we needed a mascot, the Hitopotamus. We've ordered it online, it's arriving, and we're going to launch it with a mascot race, halftime at the Warriors this weekend.

Plenty of other mascots are taking part already. Check of the Care from the Breakers. Weta Workshops have got some mascots. Captain Starship, Frank Energy are looking for someone to run inside the mascots. If you want to get involved, head to Frank Energy's social media. And someone else that's got involved is Snow Planet. John joins us from Snow Planet. We're looking at your mascot, the picture of Big Al the polar bear.

He looks really awesome. What a great costume. Yeah, it's nice to talk to you again, John, from Snow Planet. We're just having a look at the picture of your mascot that you want to enter into this race. Very good. Very good quality mascot. He's brilliant, isn't he? Big Al.

Big Al. Big Al. So does he mind being called Big Al? Or do we just call him Al? No, he prefers Big Al. Well, look at his T-shirt. B-A. He's Big Al.

He's got B-A. So he's a polar bear. He does look very big. It looks like he'd be quite weighty, wouldn't he, on top? Like the head would kind of control the direction you're running in there, John. It definitely does. The head does make a bit of a difference. So, yeah.

He's used to harsh conditions. He was born in Winter Wonderland. But he has recently taken up sprinting. That's all I'll say. Oh, taking up sprinting. Your polar bear running on average 40 k's an hour. Oh, do they? 40 kilometres.

You've got this one in the bag, John. Oh, I'm not sure that we'll go that far, but he's pretty keen and he's working out. Obviously, the conditions at Snow Planet, which is great. It's great for tubing, great for skiing, snowboarding, but it's going to be different conditions out there in Mount Smart Stadium. How do you think the polar bear is going to cope? I think he's going to cope pretty well. I'd like to see him place, get a medal.

Well, climate change has been affecting him for a while, and he hasn't seen two-phase. He's still with us. Yeah, that's true. Oh, John, lovely to have Big Al in the race. Are you going to be a fierce competitor? He's going to be fierce, and he's really looking forward to it. He'll make sure he eats plenty of curly fries before he rocks.

Whereabouts did you get Big Al from, or is that a secret? It's pretty much a secret. As I say, he was born in Winter Wonderland. You've seen it. You've been there. John's like, AKA, I don't know where we got them from. But anyone who hasn't been to Snow Planet, it really is an awesome place. So tell us a little bit about it. Yeah, well, we came about, we were born in 2005. So we've been around quite a long

time now. You can ski, you can snowboard. If you've got a budding athlete and they want to learn to race or they want to learn to ride boxes and jib, then it's all here. It's all for that. We're open 365 days a year. I've been out there a couple of times, had a lot of fun, but one of the most nerve-wracking times I was out there, John, was I was out there tubing with one of my daughters, and we were tubing at the same time as the Prime Minister at the time,

Jacinda Ardern, was also tubing, I think, with her niece. I do remember. And her security guards were standing in the freezing conditions time as the Prime Minister at the time, Jacinda Ardern was also tubing, I think, with her niece. I do remember. And her security guards were standing in the freezing conditions, one at the bottom of the tubing. I'm like, dear God, please don't go into it. I was like, all I was going to do was I was going to end up smashing into one of her security guards with an earpiece. But fortunately, I didn't.

Yeah, no, that's right. Well, they were full on, weren't they? They got to look after her. It's a bad news. That's right. Maybe they had thermal underpants on or something. Because as a security guard, you still have to stand there and pretend like nothing's affecting you.

But really, you're like, mate. This is cold. Wrap it up, Jacinda, wouldn't you be? Well, thank you, John. Look forward to seeing you Saturday. Awesome, guys. Can't wait. The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. Oh, it's nearly... Is it crazy to you or is it just me that it's nearly a halfway through the year? I feel like we have this conversation every year though, right? Every year. But it goes so quick. It feels like we're in the trenches. We're in the trenches of 2023 at the moment.

Do you feel like you're in the trenches, boys? Yeah, there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. I think, and a lot going on in New Zealand as well with, you know, with know with cost of living and everything else but good thing we're focusing on road signs you know yeah which is i think it's great are they going to bring bilingual road signs out but i feel like there's a lot of other things like paying teachers and nurses and stuff as well that maybe we need to you know sort out first but anyway that's just no no no road signs multilingual road it's great it's great it's great great. Why didn't they just do it?

Why didn't they just do it? Then people wouldn't have noticed and then just chuck them up. There'd be no for raw. We wouldn't be talking about it now. Exactly. You're right. But yeah, I'm broadcasting from home this morning. The wheels are starting to fall off in the prior household.

You know when you're running one of those weeks where you're like, nothing can go wrong. Not one thing can go wrong. one thing can go wrong and everything has gone wrong yeah everything's yeah the gen my wife she's due an appointment this morning we've got sick sick kids inside the house and it's times like this you realize you're probably the same being with amanda you know they're the there's people in your household who the are they're the glue of the household. And if they're out of sorts, if they've got to do something, the glue comes unstuck. It's left to me, the manky old plaster,

with a tiny little bit of stickiness left on them. Not much sticky. He's not holding the household together very well. It feels like you're travelling down the motorway at about 120 and there's no off-ramps. Just fanging at the moment. Race car in the red. There's a lot going on. I feel like there's a lot going on, as you say, going into winter.

A lot of sicknesses going around. A lot of people down for the count, aren't they? I want to schedule a bloody midlife crisis. I don't know time. Let's try to squeeze it in at morning tea today. See if I can get one in. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Put this old dog down.

Yeah. I do want you to sleep, first and foremost, because you don't get much of that. But yeah, we've talked about this. We've been quite honest about the fact that for the last few months, I've been dragging you around, meeting to meeting, pitching ideas, trying to get these two old dogs back on TV. One of the things that, you know, I've always wanted, you know, growing up, wanted to be on TV and on radio and really miss being on TV as well. So we've been pitching ideas and getting out and about and trying to do that, haven't we?

And I apologise the other day for taking you to too many meetings. There's been, I won't lie, there's been a lot of meetings. There's been a lot, a lot. But anyway, they haven't resulted in anything. So what were you going to say? Well, I sort of came to the realization last night that for someone that is desperate, desperate to get back on TV, and this, whatever I'm about to say now,

doesn't change my desperation or anything. Still desperate to get back on TV. You can hear the desperation. You can hear it. Oh, well, the good thing is I'm broadcasting from home at the moment, and you're coming through a camera, so it kind of looks like you're on amateur TV right now. So for someone who is desperate to get back on TV,

I realized last night the TV is actually not on that often in my house at all. And if it is, it's either sports games or you sometimes head to a streaming service like a Netflix or a Disney Plus. I can't remember. Like, in all honesty, I can't. I think maybe the last show I might have watched, you know, a significant amount of week to week might have been Married at First Sight from the distance in the kitchen pretending like I wasn't watching Married at First Sight. One of those watches, right? When you watch it, why why are you watching this rubbish and then you get hooked into it but you pretend you're not but that was months ago that was yeah it's an interesting proposition but

we should chuck it out there are people still watching your classic grassroots linear television oh kevin boyce my dad well you know 5 30 the chase comes on then we keep rolling there's no there's no remote touched from 5 30 onwards there's no thought of moving channels we just go straight to the news then we go to seven sharp and then we keep going with whatever's on at 7 you know that's the way his tv works the way that's the way tvnz1 survives they bank on the fact that the audience either don't have the arm strength to change the channel or i don't have the will uh to change the channel because binge watch binge watching back in the day for me because nowadays you knock out a series over a weekend

on on streaming services binge watching back in the day it was me with a family-sized pack of cheesels on the couch watching the world's fattest Americans or some show on a Wednesday night and loving life. That was binging for me back in the day. And even with the kids, you know, nowadays they'll pop up watching something on YouTube or they'll watch something on TikTok or, you know, they'll find their streaming service as well. But maybe this is not everywhere.

So we wanted to know this morning, how 100 the hits, 4487, what's the TV watching like in your household? I can't remember the last time we sat down as a family and watched a TV show. I mean, now we just sit down as a family and ignore each other all on our devices. Everyone's watching their own things, whether that's sometimes on TVNZ Plus or 3Now

or something you watch on streaming services but a communal viewing experience you can't you can't it's not much of a thing i wouldn't imagine for a lot of households at the moment and i guess if you're watching television it probably depends a lot on your life stage you know like the joe biden's of this world they've got they've got more than enough time to sit down and watch David Lomas fly around the world looking for wayward fathers who have run away. You know, they have the time. So I imagine the older demographic might say yes. Let's find out. Just reading an article here, Ben Boyce.

I just read the article just so I could say I've been reading an article. But the majority of TV viewing this year is still dominated by linear TV. So the majority of shows that are consumed worldwide are watched on your classic free-to-air television. Good. Someone who wants to get back on TV, I like that. I like that. My grandparents, we talked about this a couple of times on the show,

my grandparents in Christchurch, they used to have a little TV curtain that they would drop down, it would sit on top of the TV, and when TV was done on the show, my grandparents in Christchurch, they used to have a little TV curtain that they would drop down. It would sit on top of the TV. And when TV was done for the night, normally very, very early, about 7.30, they'd sort of pull down the curtain over the TV. And that was it. That was TV for the night. And I was never allowed to pull that curtain back up to watch anything else.

It was curtains, curtains for the TV. Well, it doesn't look like it's curtains for free-to-air TV. They reckon it's still going to be around 2035, according to this article. Oh, that's good to know. Good to know. Lindsay, Lindsay, you're on. You're on radio, mate, which somehow

has survived the entertainment apocalypse, my friend. Are you still watching free-to-air TV? Yeah, a long-time listener, first-time caller, of course. Do you know what? We've done this job for a long time, and I've always dreamed of someone phoning up saying,

long-time listener, first-time caller. So thank you, Lindsay. I'll show you how old you are. Now, Lindsay, what's your TV watching habits I'm it must be because when I grew up I was just sitting down and watched TV so I still do it my kids laugh at me and they go

Dad you've got to go streaming, I stream a little bit but I watch just generally anything flick it on and I'm watching so yeah happily sit there during the ads not like my dad and put them on mute and we all sit in awkward silence yep no exactly I've got an auntie So, yeah. Happily sit there during the ads, not like my dad, and put them on mute and we all sit in awkward silence. Yep, no, exactly. I've got an auntie that does that, yep, and that annoys me.

So, yeah. Well, that's the thing. Mute it if you've got something to say. But if you haven't, then I'd rather listen to Harvey Norman specials or something like that, you know? Right. If you've got something important to say, then that's definitely worthy of a mute.

You're right. Hey, Lindsay, you're not alone. A lot of text coming through 4487. We watch Shortland Street in our household. It's what we have watched as a family since we were kids. That tradition continues. That's cool. That's awesome.

We've just built a new house. We didn't add any cables or antennas for local TV or Sky. However, we've got TVs in almost every room, this person says, on 4487. Oh, very cool. Hey, thank you, Lindsay. You're an absolute hero. What do you do? Who, me? Yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm a builder, so I put things in. I always tell people where to put a TV, that's for sure. Yeah, you're out there, you're campaigning for the industry, good on you. When you're building those... And then I want you back on TV. Oh, thank you, thank you.

It wasn't just a desperate point for my desperation, but... I have an idea for you, but we have to have a meeting, that's the idea. So there you go. Oh, okay, all right. Sounds good. Lindsay, I tell you who doesn't want him back on TV. Hey, hey, hey. He goes to the networks. In fact, I've got a doesn't want him back on TV. Hey, hey, hey. You've got to set the networks.

In fact, I've got a few emails here. Give me your address and I'll forge all the people that don't want him back on TV. Okay, you do that. I'll talk to my people and we'll get it working. There you go. Sounds good, Lindsay. I think we've got Mel joining us. I know, out of the hits as I move on from that crushing blow to my ego.

Mel, good morning. Good morning. First question, first question. Good morning. First question, first question. Hold on. First question. Do you want to see Ben Boyce back on TV, Mel? Do I what, sorry? Do you want to see Ben Boyce back on TV?

I reckon, yeah. Thank you, thank you, Mel. That was the correct answer for my ego. Mel, what's your TV watching habits? So we always watch Coronation Street because that's what mum watched. So if I would watch what mum wanted to watch, no question.

Oh, so even if your mum's not around watching, you've gotten to the tradition, you watch Cairo? Oh, well then, to be honest, if mum wasn't watching TV, dad was probably watching rugby. Those would be two options. Coronation Street or rugby, and that's continued on, has it?

Yeah, I still watch both, actually. It's just like a good habit, and I've just grown up with it, so I just really still enjoy it. I think back in the day, there wasn't many options. Like as a kid, I remember watching a lot of MASH and not particularly understanding or enjoying mash i'm sure it was a great show but a lot of it went over my head i think as a kid i remember the only thing i remember about mash was bloody hot lips hula hand hot lips

hula hand wouldn't stack up in 2023 no hey thanks for your texts and calls the hits the jonah and ben podcast because we're having a mascot race. We're launching our Hits mascot, the Hidipotamus. We're putting it out there for a mascot race, and a lot of other mascots are going to be taking it on. Cheeky the Care, Captain Starship, Frank Energy's mascot, who actually needs someone to run inside the costume. So head to Frank Energy's social media.

If you want to take part in the mascot race, but someone else has put their hand up for their mascot to be involved, it's Mark from Perina Cat Food. How are you? Doing good, mate. How are you? We're doing really well. It's lovely to have you on and lovely to have your enthusiasm, passion, and what is another word I'm trying to look for? Enthusiasm was good. You should have stopped there. Lovely to have your enthusiasm for the halftime mascot race. Oh, I love it. No, it's fantastic.

We're looking forward to it. So you're from Purina and you've got Oscar. I met Oscar in the mall before, the clever cat from your marketing. Yeah, he was having a blast. He loves seeing you guys and loves interacting with the crew down there. He is quite the rascal. He's good fun. So cats are fast, aren't they?

They've got, you know, panther-like qualities. They do. And you know what? I haven't actually? They've got, you know, panther-like qualities. They do. And, you know, I haven't actually checked the weather forecast for the game, but they've also got claws. So I'm expecting some really good grip and some agility on the pitch from Ruskin. Running on all fours? Running on all fours, yeah, yeah. They can be cheeky ratbags, you know, when it comes to food.

You know, my cat Stella, she's quite famous for the ankle tap when I go to feed her. Oh, really? It wouldn't surprise me to see Oscar chucking out the old ankle tap to get ahead of some of the other mascots. We'll have to keep an eye on Oscar, that's for sure, in the race. Having met Oscar, as I said at the mall before, very white predominantly costume. I mean, if it falls, there's a dry cleaning bill on hand. Yeah, and I am, to be honest, there's a dry cleaning bill on hand. Yeah, and I am, to be honest, it's probably one of the big worries,

the green stain. Get the nappy sand ready, Mark. Bright white. Now, dealing with cats and animals in general, can you tell us why Ben's cat doesn't want to spend any time with the family? He does when he's hungry, that's for sure. Yeah, that's the funny one. We did a survey about a year ago, and one thing that surprised me,

it said 97% of people said they love their cat. So there's 3% of people that aren't getting love from the cat, and I do wonder if it's for their relationship. They are. You've got an air of arrogance about them, the cats, don't they? They know they're good. They come around, you're like, oh, the cats, yeah. This is exciting. You just fall for it every time because you love your cat.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Treat them mean, keep them keen policy, the cats. Well, Perina, thank you so much, Mark from Perina, for getting on board. We can't wait to see Oscar lining up on Saturday at the Warriors, and hopefully it could be taking out the mascot race. I'm looking forward to it. I'm absolutely looking forward to it.

It's going to be a great race. Good on you, Mark. Have a good one, mate. No, that's fine. Thanks, guys. Have a good one. See you, mate. The mascot race happening this Saturday.

And if you want to get involved, head to Frank Energy social media because you could run inside their mascot costume. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. It's a new horror movie. It's in cinemas today based on a Stephen King book. A Stephen King book. It's very scary.

It's called The Boogeyman. There's something in my room. You believe me, don't you? There's no such thing as monsters. You need to grow up. I'm serious, Sawyer. I need to be alone. And one of the stars, if you know the TV show Yellow Jackets my wife loves that you all know

Sophie Thatcher and we caught up with her on Zoom she's in the new movie Boogeyman and it's already it's always interesting talking to celebrities particularly over Zoom from New Zealand with our accents and that was a bit of a battle. Now let's begin. Hello we're Jono and Ben from New Zealand. Hi. You caught us by surprise there, Sophie. We're clearing emails. We're doing all sorts. What? I'm sorry.

There's a language barrier, Ben. Is this the New Zealand accent again? Shocking. Sorry. We're from New Zealand. Our names are Jono and Ben. Lovely to talk to you. This movie looks very scary.

Is it scarier than when i wake up in the morning and my phone hasn't charged and it's on two percent um it's a different kind of scary okay because that's like an immediate anxiety that you could fix this is something that lives in you and haunts you uh fix unless you can't find a charger yeah unless you can't find a charger and you have to go to the next cvs or whatever you whatever you have in yeah like a chemist warehouse or something now you're falling off a scooter in vancouver i understand and having to get new teeth triggered i'm just kidding oh sorry no no no i talk about it like every day i say never ride an electric scooter ever they're're dangerous. They're bad.

They're not worth losing teeth of. He rides one every day to work. I'm like, he's going to fall over. No, I'm going to keep doing it. I kick them over every single time I see them. He is. He's got any new teeth, just like you. Mind you, you've got a wonderful bloody dental surgeon there.

Your teeth look, the chompers look fantastic. Thank you. Now, you've done amazingly well. I mean, this movie, a Stephen King movie is incredible, other movies. And also, we need to find a New Zealand connection because that's what we do in New Zealand. Melanie Linsky, Yellow Jackets as well. I mean, Tim Morrison as well. And Boba Fett. You know, like you've just got Kiwi connections all over the place.

I've been re-watching, I mean, maybe this is cliched. I'm curious on your take, but I've been re-watching Fly the maybe this is cliched i'm curious on your take but i've been re-watching flight of the concords oh great yeah favorite show growing up yeah you know like real coca-cola and then like sugar-free coca-cola we're the sugar-free version of flight of the concords not as not as good we've traded uh you know a lot of our economies been traded off flight of the concords and taika oh yeah yeah oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Jojo Rabbit. Yeah. Oh, and he did the vampire one. Oh, yeah.

What are we doing in the shadows? What are we doing in the shadows? What are we doing in the shadows? Yeah, we've done our New Zealand connection. We've ticked that box. A good light dusting of New Zealand pop culture there. Now, Stephen King obviously wrote the short story that this was based on. Now, we've come up with our own versions of Stephen King books.

I want to pitch them to you. You decide if the Stephen King one sounds better or our one, okay? Sure. All right, so there's Stephen King's The Shining, Jack and his family move into an isolated hotel with a violent pass, big movie, or Jono and Ben's The Shining,

Jack bangs his shins on coffee tables around the place. You decide what sounds better. The Shining. The shinning. It's relatable, there's some stunt work in there. Yeah, okay. And finally, Stephen King's the boogie man, supernatural entity

preys on families and feeds on the suffering of victims, sounds good. Or Jono and Ben's the boogie man, a man who has a head cold and blows his nose a lot. That, obviously. Oh, yeah, hey, well, there we go. The guy with the runny nose. The guy with the runny nose, the bogeyman, coming soon.

Lovely to meet you. Congratulations on the movie, Sophie. And congratulations on understanding 70% of what we just said to you. I know.