Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben's Killer English Accent

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Ben's daughter can't stop singing cats! RIP Jerry Springer Flashback Friday! Jono fell asleep at the wheel... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. The kids have been home, you know, they're back at school now, but a lot of time... The bonus is next week's going to feel like five years long. Yeah, it will be. It'll be a long week next week. And, you know, over the school holidays, you know, the kids have obviously been home. I've been home a lot more with the kids. And this has been going on in my household I've got some

audio have a listen so I'm standing outside my daughter Sienna's bedroom right now and you might hear the musical cats going on that horrible cat was a mango cherry or rum bull teaser see I know the words now the time they'll leave it at that. It's great that she's really into it. She's performing in the musical of Cats. But it's on repeat. It's on loop in the house. And now I'm getting to know all the words.

It'd be like I could imagine if Andrew Lloyd Webber was living in my house. Have an unusual gift of a gab. We are highly efficient cat ferns. And blizzards as well. And remarkably smart. At the smash and grab. Not with me. No, no, I won't be getting a part.

Yeah, I'll leave you to it. Thanks, Cat. So, yeah, my daughter Sienna, she's awesome. She's in the musical cat she she loves that sort of thing she's really enjoying she's a crazy cat lady yeah she is a crazy cat lady at the moment she's a really you know really into the fact and it's great she's into the fact that she's into this production and she's playing the songs and she's learning the songs but it means that i and the rest of the house are now learning the songs like you know we are getting

it's in my head. I find myself going about my day singing songs to cats. Can I ask you a question? When you sing along, if you just play the audio of Ben singing there, when you sing along, why do you sing along like an old-time English cobbler? Oh, because that song is a bit more cockney. As a mungo, Jerry, all rum. Hello.

That song is quite, from what I understand, from the thing. Like a cobbler from the 1940s. Because they're from the smash and grab, this particular song. So you were in character. That was me in character.

I was like, I can't sing as well, so I had to do the character thing. But I wondered, you know, I'm not the only one out there. There's probably soundtracks to your house that what are you having to watch that, or listen to, I'm not the only one out there. There's probably soundtracks to your house

that what are you having to watch or listen to that other people are making you listen to? Well, let's not, and spare a thought for your family as well. For 10 years, your long-suffering family, our radio show has been the soundtrack. Yes. So I don't know why you're starting to get all high and mighty now,

old British geezer over there, the old 1940s gobbler. Get out to the old pig and stout that's my all cane alright mate I'll just give you

the character I'm really hoping to get a role in Cats he's basically he's going to go along he's going to be the understudy

at Cats or when they go sing along if you know the words you're going to be the guy who's going to be belting it out they might get you

up on stage it'll be a viral video true if someone is unfortunately sick before they'll be like like, oh, no, who can do this part? I know all the words. Hello, hello, hello, governor. I know this is a children's recital, but I can get out there with the National Youth Theatre and I can get involved. You know, I can do it.

Showbiz, baby. I'll wait over to the hits. What is the soundtrack to your household? It might be a sport that someone's obsessed with. They watch nonstop. A TV show. Like, is it a dating reality show

that someone's watching in their household? Is it a kid's show? Cocoa Melon. I hear a lot of parents like Patricia B. Humps talking about how much Cocoa Melon he has to endure

in his household. And do you know the soundtrack to this radio studio is Ben Humphrey banging on about Cocoa Melon. It's all we hear all the time. I'll tell you what, my daughters are watching on YouTube as well, which really, whew, it's time to test my patience, Ben. Oh, really?

All right. I'd like you to introduce this song with an old-timely 1940s British voice. It's DJ Sammy. Oh, I can't do the voice. It's heaven. It is the hits. All right, come now. The Hits, the jonah and ben podcast as i

mentioned before my daughter sienna is in the musical cats uh which is great and she's really into it um so much into it that she plays it all the time at home from her room and we get on the car she's like can we put it on she wants to learn all the words but now i'm starting to it's now the soundtrack to my household you had audio of you singing this song. Oh, okay. If we could go back to the – We don't need the audio of me singing the song. Because this particular song, from what I've heard,

it's quite sort of – Character-driven. Yeah, this song in particular, not the rest of it. Obviously memories and all the other big bangers. You're a true Shakespearean actor, my friend. We all run, full teaser. See, I know all the other big bangers. You're a true Shakespearean actor, my friend. I'm very all run, full teaser. See, I know all the words now. Most of the time they leave.

You know the words to a song that I've never remembered from Cats. The only one I know from Cats is, Mammy. Yeah, that's one of the big bangers. What are the other big bangers from Cats? That's probably the one that everyone would know, that you would know. Mr. Mistoffelees was another one.

If you know the musical, you'll know. But yeah, so we wanted to know on 100 of the Hits, what is the soundtrack to your house? You're saying you'll do it a poppy. Obsessed with Dance Moms. Yeah, moms. Just on YouTube. And the show's very misleading.

Very little dancing and a lot of moms bickering. Just yelling at each other. Did you just sit here and say that my daughter looks miserable, so maybe we should put Kalani in her place? No, I never said that. Yes, you most certainly did. No, I didn't. Dingbat, listen.

I said, Brooke, is your mother's figure? They really get into it, don't they? They do. They should just rename it Screaming Moms. A sprinkling of dancing. A sprinkling of childhoods being traumatized. 0800, that's the telephone number. What is the soundtrack to your household?

We'll go to Camille from Methvin. I don't think we've ever had a call from Methvin. Camille? Oh, hi. You're the first. Elijah Wood, who was Frodo on Lord of the Rings. He's there. He's in Methvin, apparently.

I'm on the hunt. I'm actually on the hunt for Elijah Wood at the moment. So, let me bring that up. Have we caught you mid-stalk, have we? Not mid-stalk, but I will be popping into Mies van a few times today, just in case. Just in case. He seems like a lovely guy.

He had photos with people as well, which is pretty awesome. This is the preload ahead of the stalk, the prep time. So we won't hold you up too long. What's the soundtrack to your household there, Camille? Well, we've got the Do Not Open This Book series by Andy Lee, which plays pretty much constantly. Oh, from Hamish and Andy.

Has he got kids' books? Yeah, so there's a read-along thing they do on YouTube that my son loves, and Blue's Clues, and then there's my son playing Chris Cornell on his guitar, even though he's two. She's a real medley

you've got there. At the moment the Soundtracker radio show is your baby talking through the phone as well Camille. Yep, that's pretty constant. Sorry, that's Maddox. Hi Maddox. Not expecting much but good luck with your Elijah Wood stalking today.

Thank you so much. Lovely to hear from you, Camille. Appreciate it. Olivia, we'll get you on from Wellington, the soundtrack to your house. Hi. Yeah, well, my mom can probably relate to you with Cats, that's for sure. I watched it so many times as a kid that I think my video burnt out and the DVD I got of it in the end was so scratched that it doesn't even work.

Oh, really? I mean, it's a great musical so scratched that it doesn't even work. Oh, really? I mean, it's a great musical, but I don't know if anyway. Each to their own. What are you listening to at your house? Oh, it's just Top Gear over and over. My partner and his friends will watch it almost every night. Every night? Are they still making Top Gear?

I thought it finished. No. No, no, no. It's just reruns on Amazon Prime. They've gone deep into the reruns of Top Gear. Oh, I love it. Johan, you're on from Taranaki. The soundtrack to your house.

Kia ora. Yeah, no, it's The Office. That's right. My son listens to it every day. Oh, the British version or the American Office? That's the one. Oh, my gosh. I hear it every afternoon.

And personally, myself, I do street, as well as my wife does Mav Australia. But the office takes over. Yeah, you love that show too, don't you, Joe? The US one really got away on me, though. They made a lot of episodes of the American version. Ricky Gervais only did a couple

of seasons of the British one. That's right. Geez, they took it in a whole other direction in America, but thank you very much, Johan. Appreciate it. You're all good, pleasure. Have a great day. Sorry, I'm talking all over you. I'm very stressed about time and finishing this.

Yeah. Can you tell me? Yeah, I can. I'm panicking that time is getting away on us. That's good. Next, Jono, what I caught you doing in your car yesterday. Oh, that's all that sounds. Oh, but no, but what I caught you doing

after you caught me doing something in my car. Of course, in that situation, that's what I'm going to do. I'll tell you what it is next. I thought what I did was quite good. We'll tell you what it is next on The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dogs, dogs, dogs, undies. You know I can't grab your goose chips.

Nick Minna. Friday, flashbacks. I really enjoy doing this on a Friday. We like to look back at something iconic in New Zealand history. It's our Friday Flashback. And today, our iconic biscuit brand that had some wonderful, wonderful commercials in the 80s and 90s. The Hudson Cookie Beer. Jeez, I love these biscuits Even if you don't have these biscuits for 12 years And you taste one

It transports your mouth back to when you were in primary school Yeah no Hudson's became the Griffins Cookie Bear The Griffins Corporation Bought out Hudson's And became the Griffins Cookie Bear later They still keep the cookie bear around And those ads were iconic They went into the oven over a miracle And they are the cookies I love don't you know and those ads were iconic.

Now Griffin Corporation, he didn't lose his job. He stuck his foot through the transition. But he's in the factory. He's in the factory, You'll love you Choco Nana Chippies. He's in the factory, you know, inconveniencing

the hard-working factory workers by making them do a song and dance. He's not wearing a hair net either. No, no food

safety. He looks a little deranged, shall we say, as well. He's got a cross eye. When you look back at it,

you're like, because I remember it being very cute and lovable, but now I look back and I'm like, oh jeez. He looks like cocaine beer after four days on it. Maybe he was the original cocaine beer. That's for sure.

Do you know how popular it was? I was reading about this. Children could join the fan club and the Hudson, you know, the cookie beer fan club. It was a big thing in the Women's Weekly and there were 162,000 people at one stage. Kids in New Zealand belonged to the Hudson Beer Fan Club. It was a big thing in the Women's Weekly. And there were kind of 162,000 people at one stage. Kids in New Zealand belonged to the Hudson Beer Cookie Club. He was the original OG influencer.

And you get a postcard on your birthday. That was the thing. And people were basically part of this club. It was crazy. Like how many things? One in four New Zealand children under the age of 12 were a member. One in four kids. That's how popular it was.

It was a simpler time, wasn't it? Going back to those days, we had to hand write in letters to join a fan club. I know, but yeah, as I say, it reached that peak of 180,000 kids, which is just wild. Fans of the slightly cross-eyed bear. What was, I mean, Sesame Street definitely got the pick of the litter at the costume shop, didn't they? Yeah. The Cookie Monster would have had a field day at that factory.

Oh, yeah. We never really saw Hudson or the Griffin's Cookie Bear eat the cookies. No, you can't get high on your own supply. It makes a lot of sense. What was his role? Was he on the exec team? I'm not sure. He was definitely up in management, wasn't he?

He was definitely high in the management. So there we go. This is today's Friday flashback as we look back at the iconic Hudson Cookie Bear who had the phrase dum-de-doo that was his that was his thing as well so yeah he's today's Friday flashback is he still with us?

I'm not sure according to eating media lunch he was no longer with us but I think that was the parody if he is still with us great to have you around if you're not rest in pieces. Our condolences to the Bears family. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I'm Jerry Springer, legendary TV host in America.

Sadly passed away at the age of 79 after a bout with cancer. The Jerry Springer show, very, very iconic for many, many years. 27 years it ran, 27 years. years over 4 000 episodes went right around the world it was a huge tv show in new zealand as well as in america they play on the daytime uh wouldn't it so after like days of our lives i remember watching that when i had nothing else to do with life great time great period in life i was very lucky enough to interview jerry springer really yeah a few years ago. Very, very fascinating individual. I remember quite a lot about the interview.

I think it was 20 minutes I had with Jerry Springer. I still like, why would he give his time for me? But it was awesome. And what I really loved about him was the fact that he was, unlike a lot of, I guess, this is a stereotype, generalizing, a lot of Americans, particularly in show business, like, oh, I'm great at this, I'm in this. He's like, I've got no skills.

I was a failed politician. Like, he was a mayor for a year as a failed politician. He was like, you know, like people show business, like, oh, I'm great at this, I'm in this. He's like, I've got no skills. I was a failed politician. Like, he was a mayor for a year as a failed politician. He was like, you know, like people, I was like, why do they chant Jerry, Jerry? He's like, because I'm old, I forget my name. You know, like things like that, you know. Why don't you get involved in fights? He's like, I've never had a fight in my life. I'm not going to get involved.

You know, he was quite self-effacing, you know. He was quite surprised that his show was so successful. But it started off as a political show because he was a news anchor after he was a failed politician and then it slowly morphed into a show that became sort of tabloid and geez it was wild there was fights there was all sorts of security guy holding people back there was jerry steve steve the security guy yeah the bald head that's right uh and and the best topics like my grandmother's a stripper, and I want her to stop, and I'm Jewish, and I married someone from the KKK. Just stories that you're like, surely these can't be true.

I mean, he did say that the people find them. They never approach the people. That's what he said, you know, as well. And they didn't pay the people. That's what he said to me as well. But you're like, jeez, I didn't understand why people at the time wanted to go on this. And sort of almost blindside people in their lives every week.

But it was such an iconic show. Dad, I'm marrying a lamppost sort of thing. Your dad's like, why have you dragged me on Jerry Springer to tell me this? Here's a little bit of the iconic Jerry Springer show. Jerry has more ass than you do. And he sort of just Stand there with his shoulders Like shrugged like What am I supposed to do

He always had that Final thought as well Which he would kind of You know Take care of yourself And each other You know And stuff

And he would kind of And then try and undo All the craziness That had just happened Over 55 minutes But he was a lovely Lovely guy And as I say

I really took a lot Out of the chat with him. It was very un-American showbiz and I thought it was awesome that he was just like, hey, I've got no skills but made an amazing, amazing career out of it. Hosted other reality shows and all sorts. I think America's got talent

and everything as well. Huge career. If I was to host a dream show, it would probably be the Jerry Springer show Imagine I would just love it What have we got here, a family of dominatrixes So I've just been looking at some of the best topics

On the Jerry Springer show And to pay homage to the great man We're going to chuck some of these out there And see if anyone listening Can fit the criteria We can have our own version of Jerry Springer. Yeah. I've gone for ones that might be achievable.

Gotcha, gotcha. You know, like I married a horse. I don't know if we're going to get anyone who's married a horse. I mean, we'll chuck it out there. Well, even if it's like my best friend's a horse. Yeah. How's that? You know, like, you know.

You like your horse better than you like anyone else. Which could be possible, right? Your best friend's a horse. That's great. My mother-in-law hates me. Have we got anyone listening right now? Yeah, I imagine that could be true. You don't have to say who you are.

You can keep your name anonymous. He cheated on me five times. Anyone listening who's been cheated on. Again, can be anonymous. Yeah. We'll give you a fake name as well. We can call you Jerry if you want next oh 800 the hits 4487 on the text okay your best friend's a horse your mother-in-law hates you or you've

been cheated on five times okay let's open the phone lines i don't know if we're gonna get anyone i don't know either the hits the jonathan ben podcast and so we've just picked cherry picked some topics Ones that we hopefully can get away with now Yeah, like the Kung Fu Hillbilly I don't know if we're going to get anyone phoning up Or my dad has committed to a life of assassinating gang members Was another one too

Not really But my mother-in-law hates me, one topic They cheated on me five times. Or my best friend is a horse. And believe it or not, Ben, someone has phoned through. Bob. Hey, how are we? Your mother-in-law hates you.

They cheated on me over five times. Or your best friend is a horse. My mother-in-law hates me. Oh, now, are we using a fake name here? What's going on? Yeah. Okay, good. Why the frosty relations? Previous encounters with one of the other friends.

Oh, so a bit of history. And is there any way you could bring things back, do you think, or is that relationship too far gone? No, no, no way. Someone we used to work with, remember there, they had a frosty relationship

with their mother-in-law and she'd come to stay and they'd hire a caravan for her. Yeah, they'd hire a caravan and sleep outside. He wouldn't let her use the facilities inside

so he'd rent a port-a-loo for the week. That was a frosty relationship. That's a great idea. I was like, why is she not in a hotel or something for her? Just to grow a hair.

You're very much a bigger hole in the tank. Yeah. I don't even think you got the portal you cleaned before. I was like, jeez, there really is

no coming back from that, is there? And so, sorry, when you say relations with your friend, what do you mean? Previous relationships. So one of my exes

was one of her friends. Oh, and so now you're dating her daughter. Now I'm dating her daughter, yes. And she can't get past that. I mean, that happens. But obviously she can't get past that. Yeah. What have your interactions been?

With mother-in-law? Yeah. Next to none. Oh, really? She doesn't talk to you? Next to none. She's avoided me for the last three years. I can imagine that's awkward for, you know, your partner and everything as well.

That must make it hard in the family situation. Yeah, it really does. It doesn't exactly make it very easy. Are you married? No, not yet. All right. Are you planning? Hopefully by the end of the year.

And would you invite her to the wedding? We're going to have to, but we're not to. Yeah, true. Get a reporter out of the back, mate. There are some options. Oh, I didn't think anyone would call. Well, thank you very much, Bob, for calling up. We really appreciate it.

You're welcome. Yeah, didn't think that was going to happen. Jerry. Next, someone who's married a horse. Oh, 800 The Hits. The Hits, the Jono and Ben Podcast Yesterday after We were in here at work

We had We had a meeting We were going somewhere Business stuff We had business stuff Stuff we needed to do And I made it sound really important

And it's not No it was But the two of us Had to go meet someone In an area And so you cleared up You're like Hey I'm going to go work

In my car I'm going to clear up here I'm going to go work in my car Outside where we're gonna meet oh that's that's fine you do what you need to do i'll see you there and as i i got to where we're close to where we're gonna meet i found this there was a car park sort of situation park my car and i said oh look john is parked here as well obviously parked there and as i walked over to your car to see if you were all ready to go for the meeting you had your car you had your pillow out you had your cut you has you have it yes he has a designated car pillow for nap time

and he was fast asleep in the car park i'm like oh he's definitely gone there early to work hasn't he well yeah i was like wait we could have done i would stay at work working like if work was i started working the car and then on my head started rocking back and forth. Yeah. And then the sleep took over. I got the pillow out of the boot. Yeah, I was going to say, it wasn't like... It was definitely a planned sleep because you got to the stage of getting your pillow out. You're like, he's the guy to carpool. I'm not getting any work

done here. I might as well use these 15 to 20 minutes to catch up on some much needed rest. Now, okay, that's your side of the story? So that's, yeah, that's my side of the story. Okay, so my side of the story, okay, is I wake up to the phone ringing, okay? Oh, it's Ben.

Now I'm looking at my phone as it's ringing and then I look out the window, 10 metres away. Ben is calling me from 10 metres away. Now, my question is, what would you have done if I declined your call? Well, I was in a situation there because firstly when I saw you asleep, I was like, well, I'll get a photo and a video for social media. That's your first instinct. So you're filming.

So not only are you calling me from 10 metres away, your first instinct before you do anything else must film him through the car window. How's this looking to onlookers well yeah because i'm being innocent man on the hits instagram we've got a whole little folder of sleepy johnny every time you just fall asleep at random locations uh as soon as you stop talking you fall asleep as and so we've got that so i was like i'll capture that for that and then i was like oh it's like one minute away from the time we need to go for the meeting. I don't want to be late for this meeting. Now, I didn't want to go up.

As a friend, I didn't want to go out and bang on the window and give you like a huge fright. So I thought in my head, I was like, what's the nicest way that I could wake you up without banging on the window? So I rang you. And I thought, well, that's definitely the creepiest option. Because I looked around and then you are standing waving 10 metres away. I'm watching. Well, you know, a gentle knock on the window would have sufficed.

I don't know. Just in that situation, I didn't want to be like, you know, like someone coming to your car knocking on the window. I know you were in a complicated scenario. I was like, did he have an alarm set? I mean, how long was he going to sleep? Like, what were you? Did you have an alarm set for the meeting

or were you just? I'd set it for 15 minutes. Oh right, I was thinking it was going to be an interesting social experiment. I still had another 60 seconds of sleep

up my sleeve. Like, I could have gone to that meeting and gone, where's Jono? Oh no, he's asleep in his car

just two blocks down. I saw him but I didn't want to wake him up.