Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Ben's School Project...

Episode Date: June 11, 2023

Ben is invested in a school project Jono has a bone to pick with the hand dryers at work What can your partner not get their head around! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Next week, the FIFA Women's World Cup starts in New Zealand and Australia. So that's really rolled around. I don't think we realise how big that event is here in New Zealand. It's enormous. It's huge. Yeah, you're right.

Over a million tickets sold so far between Australia and New Zealand, which is more than has ever been sold for a women's sporting event in the world which is great but there's still lots more to be sold I'm still really suspicious

FIFA have had about 19 car parks downstairs in our basement here at work for about 2 years just says reserved for FIFA

don't park here towing 24-7 no one from FIFA's ever parked there or that we know of I mean I'm not

across it all the time, but I've never seen a car on those car parks. And maybe that's just a big old D-swing, isn't it? Yeah. We could buy all these car parks, not even using them. Well, yeah, you might be right. You know, my thoughts on FIFA with their underground bunker, Ben. They've got an underground bunker at their headquarters in Zurich. Well, it sounds like there might

be something. Well, you didn't think there was anything to it? No, there was something to it. Yeah, there might be something to it. But you are saying a lot of things. I mean, we haven't monitored that car park 24-7.

You're saying no one's parked there. I mean, there might have. Who knows? When's the last time you checked that car park? Was it Sepp Blatter? You went there once and you saw that

no one was parking there and now you've said no one's parked there. Poor Feefrank, he was smirching their name this morning. They could have been parking there for weeks.

Yeah, true. I'll go down and check afterwards. We'll get an update tomorrow. How was the weekend anyway? Yeah, he was smirching their name this morning. They could have been parking there for weeks. Yeah, true. And coming into it, you know. I'll go down and check afterwards. We'll get an update tomorrow. How was the weekend anyway? Yeah, it was all good. We went to play some golf on the driving range, didn't we, on Friday, which was fun. Yeah, Joel, can I say, Producer Joel, very violent golfer. I know.

Like balls just firing, hitting the machine, hitting the roof, just making quite a racket. Hitting the neighbour's house behind the back fence almost. I've never heard anyone yell four more times at a driving range. There's no one meant to be in front of you, but for some reason, because you're all in the one line. The bulls were veering off into the actual golf course. Yeah, there was like a little... But then your four was like, four, four.

A little partition that was sort of keeping everyone eventually safe from your golf shots. You hit that thing so many times. But then when you got onto one, jeez, it went far. It really did. You were head and shoulders above everyone else. My whole Facebook reels and Instagram reels have just been people playing golf. So I've been practicing for this moment for months.

So I was glad to finally put them to use. I'd hate to see you like on the, what's the new tour that they've done in collaboration with the Saudis? Oh, yeah. And you know when you actually tee off, but there's people on either side of you. Like Joel couldn't be in that picture. No, no. You couldn't trust yourself. I couldn't trust myself.

No, no, no. I'm surprised more people don't get golf balls in the faces. Very close and intimate, isn't it? Yeah, you're right. There's a lot of great skill by the actual golfers. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now my wife's a teacher and she doesn't do, you know, she's really great

when it comes to doing homework like maths or anything. Basically anything nerdy. She's the person the kids can go to. She's the nerd of the house. Do you call her the nerd of the house? Yeah, she's really good at that sort of stuff. So anything sort of arts or creatively I'm like, oh, I don't get to help much, but I'm all in. And I get too invested.

You do. My daughter, Sienna, made a video the other day. I helped her with that, with the Cookie Monster and stuff like that. And then she was sick of me for two weeks going, has the teacher marked it yet? Has the teacher? Because I want to hear what the result is. I want to know.

It turned into almost a Taika Waititi-style project, didn't it, that one? Yeah. I remember you were spending days and nights on that film project. I know. What did you get for that? I was still waiting.

She's like, it's all part of another thing. I don't want to be looped into part of another, you know? I want to know exactly what this thing was marked as. From zero to 10, how well did it? Maybe you need to go in and ask the teacher yourself. Don't lock me in with other stuff they'll be doing throughout the term. But my other daughter, Indy, at at the moment she wants to make a little video

it's part of a project, they've got to work all term on something she wants to do like a claymation video that's pretty cool, so I can help out with that this is bloody filler content from the teachers isn't it? oh no, it's something they can basically choose and they have to get it passed anything that they're really passionate about they can make something and so her idea is to make claymation and create a video create a movie

and then she'll display it to the class and all the things she's learned on the way so i'm like cool i'd like to help with this and her idea is to make simpsons she wants to make a simpsons opening with claymation i'm like oh this would be great just seems like here you're biting off more are you involved in this project yeah this seems like a big high concept stuff yeah what it is i mean to make all the characters, and then she wants to make the animals as well, the Simpsons. I'm like, it's like you watch,

there's YouTube tutorials of how to make things with claymation, and you're like, oh, yeah, clay plasticine. You're like, that makes it look so easy, and when you have to do it yourself. There's a reason the Simpsons is hand-drawn or whatever it's done, you know, animated. I feel like it's like the Simpsons, you know,

like, oh, sure sure There's a picture here This is what we've come up with It's the family Oh it looks The clay The clay characters look good Well that's what we made We made the clay characters

Slightly demented Yeah it looks like Series one Simpsons You know where they Hadn't quite nailed the characters And the voices were a bit Yeah I feel like we've created that

We've kind of like We're not entirely happy With our work But hey You shouldn't be They're like There's some But work. But you shouldn't be. But you know what you're aiming for. I'm showing John a photo right now. Yeah, so that's where I'm going.

Can we put this picture up of your claymation? To be fair, done most of the stuff because I found it quite frustrating. I see why you're quite tiny and fiddly. Yeah, like the cat and the dog. I'm like, what are we doing? Why are we spending hours on this as well? So we're going to go film this claymation thing this week, and then we'll find out our results in a little while.

How do you hold the clay? Do you have to hold your hands to have to hold up the characters? No, there's programs on the phone and stuff. So you do it, and it does it in basically split second. By split second, you move it along slowly like that. It's quite a cool little program. Oh, this sounds painstaking. Yeah.

How long have you been working on this project? Well's well i mean andy's been working on for weeks i've just sort of been coming in and going oh help and then i'll go oh i've lost interest in this good luck with this one not my school project so we'll see how that one goes she's off to a good start yeah i know you say you'd lose interest after about 15 minutes on that wouldn't you the hits the jonah and Ben podcast. Now we are starting a new week and starting a new chapter on this show. The Jono and Ben morning extravaganza.

We have a new producer. Producer Behumps has gone off to run a radio station. Greener pastures. Rural pastures. He's running a rural radio station. And we have the wonderful Taylor Montoya who's started with us now. And we don't know much about you taylor we know you're australian and your hobbies are kangaroos and your interests are

chucking prawns on the barbie yeah spot on that's all i know about yeah yeah what more is there to know about taylor um i've never actually seen a kangaroo up close. Well, that's a big stereotype. No, so like everyone thinks sheep are like Australia's kangaroos, but they're not just everywhere like here in New Zealand. They're not like bounding over the Sydney Harbour Bridge? No. No. But you can go to places and you go, I've fed a kangaroo at a place.

You can go see them, like pay to see them. Does that not count for you, seeing one up close? Well, like I would never do that really because that's not, yeah guess i know you don't go to tourist locations yeah no okay so people would know you from uh that you were producing the drive show with brad lauren now you're across with us which is great grew up in australia yeah uh italian family yes italian background uh is it is it true the the fiery italian sydney cider uh do we need to be worried if we have a disagreement and you're around sharp objects? Yeah, yeah, true.

I'll go to battle for you too, so it's a good thing to have me on the side. Like if anything mucks up at an event, I got us. Yeah, you seem very loyal. You seem very loyal. Yeah. And also you're married to Marcelo Montoya, the warrior. Yeah, hence the move here.

Yeah, right. So you came over because he's playing for the warrior. Yeah, hence the move here. Yeah, right. So you came over because he's playing for the Warriors. He didn't come for us. Oh, God, no. No. I thought he came over and played for the Warriors just because you'd work with us. Okay, okay. Got that wrong.

No, I don't mean because this isn't all about Marcelo or anything in your relationship with him. But when he's playing rugby league, are you worried? Yeah. The whole game that he's going to get injured? I hate it. I actually hate it. Happy for him and his career. Yeah.

And the boys this year, very well done so far. Yeah, they're going great. Another one in the weekend. Yeah. But fun fact, when I watch the games, my Apple Watch thinks I'm doing a light run because that's how fast my heart rate goes. Yeah, because he got concussed the other week. That must be

heart and mouth situation. Yeah, and then it's like I have to keep him up that whole night because it's like, you know, I don't know if it's true, but there's a wife tells if someone goes to bed after their concussion, they'll wake up and forget about you. So I was like, stuff that. I feel like I'm not a medical professional

so I can't comment here. So you keep them awake. She's like, can you just let me go to sleep? You ain't getting out of this marriage that easy. I wake up, you're like, who are you? Because you must spend a lot of time on your own. It'd be a waste. Yeah, I do, and that's why I got a dog.

So when we moved over from Oz, we got married, and then it kind of set in like, oh, this is life now. So I was like, let's get a dog. So got a sausage dog now. Fair enough. And so I guess if anyone has any feedback, post-game analysis, all the Warriors, Texas studio, you'll pass it on. You want that too?

Yeah, please, please. Not on the show. Let's keep it off the show. No one needs feedback on the show. It's great to have you here. We appreciate it. Thank you. It'll be great getting to know you more over the next,

how long you got on this thing? I know, well, if Behance got running a radio station, hopefully that's me in six months. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Monday morning and we're down at the park where someone right now, this is very exciting, Jono, is going to win a Jimbo's price back and $3,000 cash. Oh, my gosh. This park brings back a lot of memories, Ben Boyce.

Can you remember all these memories we've had here? So many memories. We're about to create another one right now. That we'll probably forget about in a week's time. Well, a pretty unforgettable moment for someone because $3,000 is a lot of money and we've got my dog Bo and it's all on his fluffy Samoyed shoulders. Yeah, now, do dogs even have shoulders? I don't know actually yeah I don't know. And the problem is with Bo he's very unpredictable he's a

big white traveling cloud his hobbies include mounting things yeah putting his nose in places there yeah and also running away. But he does love food and he loves Jimbo's and so he... Well every pet loves Jimbo's, find it at your local supermarket. There are four Jimbo's containers lined up about 20 metres away from us and each one is next to a Kiwiana item. Now the crowds have gathered, it is an electric atmosphere here. What do you say Victoria Park? As you can tell., it's just us two and the dog. So there's four Kiwiana items because Jimbo's are, of course, Kiwi made. LMP bottle,

cricket bat, rugby ball, and gumboots. Whichever one Bo goes to will win that person $3,000. Now, Carol, Tanya,

Emily, and Chantal have each chosen one of these Kiwiana items. Whichever one he goes to, they will win $3,000. We'll just get a few last words from Bo before the race. Which one are you going for?

The rugby ball? The cricket bat? Or the enemy by the way? The Jimbo's. He always looks like he's smiling and confused at the same time. You ready to go? Okay, we can do this. He always looks like he's smiling and confused at the same time. You ready to go? Yeah. Okay.

We can do this. Let's do it. We're going to count down. Ben, you're going to go to the other side in the hope that your dog doesn't take a big dog leg and run away onto the road. So here we go. Someone is about to win $3,000. The Gumboot, the Rugby Ball, the Cricket Bat and the LMP Bottle.

He's frothed up. He's ready to go. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go, thanks to Jimbo's. Three, two, one. Okay, he's looking at me, sniffing my crotch, and he's running around in circles. He's running around, he's confused, he's not quite sure where to go. He's gone behind the start line, now he's running towards the items, he's run past the cricket bat. What we need to do, he's currently 10 meters away from where he needs to be.

He's playing with Bren and Niamh from the hits. Now he's running back to his dad. Hey, yeah, boy. Get in there. Lift yours. Now the game was you need to pick one of these items. Bo, he's run everywhere apart from towards the items. He's run directly past the items.

Mate, there's free food there. Free Jimbo's. Just pick an item and make the madness end. He's gone to the Gumbo's! The Gumbo's! And he's got his nose deep inside the Jimbo's. And Emily has won $3,000. She chose the Gumbo's.

Yeah, well let's get Emily on the phone right now. To be honest, that went exactly how I thought it was gonna go well at least the dogs still here he's still here hello Emily it's your favorite two people on the phone who's that yeah right well your favorite two people I would have thought mum and dad kids husbands wives guess what Emily you just won $3,000. Oh my God, really? Yeah. Bo chose the gumboots. Oh my God. Oh my God, thank you so much. That's awesome. Well, don't thank us. Thank Bo, who took a very long time to decide, very distracted. We never thought we were going to get there,

to be honest. Awesome. To be honest, I think he's quite quite full he's eaten the entire tub of jimbos he was gonna go through all four but i'm like hey that's not there's a balanced diet balanced diet hey well well done emily thanks to jimbos this has been well this has been something oh my god thank you so much the hits Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, you know the hand dryer, the Dyson Airblade? Oh yeah.

You familiar with the Airblade? Yeah, you give them in the bathrooms that you go to. They're quite flashed, aren't they? They are. So once you put your hands down inside?

Yeah, and there's sort of things, you know, Dyson have a wonderful career of vacuum cleaners, haven't they? Yeah. They've done great things for vacuum

innovation. Don't have a Dyson but I know upstairs at Newstalk ZB, Mike Hosking six of them. There is, without a word of a lie, normally you embellish things but there was six vacuum cleaners. Just so I could be factually correct, six Dyson's. Just all sitting there in a row. Like I imagine he's like his parked

cars at home in his driveway, you know it's the Porsche, it's the Ferrari, it's the thing. When people go, Mike Hosking sucks, and you're like, yeah, he does. He's got six vacuum cleaners. He loves vacuuming. Not a speck of dust on that floor. Whereas it's on our floor, again, without a word of a lie, it's very hard to find a vacuum cleaner.

We had some mess the other day we made for something we were filming. I went and asked someone, and they're like, no, there's not one here. Well, there's six upstairs, so we need as much. And you know you wouldn't be allowed to use any of those six yeah so dyson yeah they've done great things in the world of acu but i feel like they've missed the mark on the air blade the hand dryer right because every time i stick my sopping wet hands inside the dyson air blade i feel other people's hand juice come and be blowing back into my mouth.

Have you had that situation? Yeah, I didn't know it was hand juice. I just wonder if it's... I don't know. Surely it's not other people's. Because everyone else has stuck their hands in. You know? It just feels like it's just blowing around the muck. I do notice that no matter what dryer that you have in the bathroom

they never really dry your hands that well. No. 80% dry. And then you get out and if you have to shake someone's hand immediately after. Unless you stay in there for five minutes but then people are waiting to use the thing so you feel like you have to do this quickly but you're like it's not drying. You still have to go out there. You want to look like you've washed your hands in front of everyone.

The simple, the simple like the little paper towels. Oh they get results. They do. Anyway. Not great for the little the paper towels they get results they do anyway not great for the planet I mean they are recyclable we've already ruined the planet

you know let's just dry our hands with paper towels they're not you know but you know better than a lot of other options right I do like the you know the revolving

cloth that comes down you go and it brings down a dry bit of cloth and you can put but I feel like does that just do laps?

I don't know, maybe, yeah. Laps and laps around. It's just the same thing over and over again. Anyway, my suggestion to Dyson, and far be it from me to tell the head engineer how to redesign things, just face the air down. Yeah, true. Not blowing up. Put your hands up underneath it, yeah.

Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Just change that. Maybe they've all been installed upside down. Maybe that's not bad change that change maybe they've all been installed upside down maybe that's the problem it's just another motivational monday yes back on the treadmill at the start line of another dark depressing week but we're not here to think about those thoughts ben boys because we're like a pre-workout energy drink here to pump you up and get you out there send you into mond Now, this I stumbled across over the weekend and a heartfelt speech.

So it's a U.S. kids baseball coach. You know, I'd say they're about 7 to 10 years old, these kids. They're about to go out on the field for their last game. He's given them some motivation. And this should inspire you. Yeah. I want to make sure you guys remember what our goals are when we step on this field.

Jackson with an X. What's one of our goals when we step on this field? To do your best. Okay, not even close. Did we learn anything this season? Yes. There are two types of people in this world. There's winners and there's losers.

Just so that we're clear, every time we step on this field, our goal is to be a winner. And if your dad has said, Oh, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, just as long as you have fun. Well, I hate to say it, your dad's a loser. And then all the kids are like, yeah! Now, it is a good speech to give the kids, isn't it? Hate to say it, your dad's a loser. And then all the kids are like, yeah!

Now, it is a good speech to give the kids, isn't it? Because for many years we're like, just get out there, have fun, enjoy it. But at some point, like a switch, we flick it and we're like, now you've got to get out there and win. Yeah. It is an interesting one, eh? Because at that age, you do want kids to have fun more than anything. You don't want them to hate. But you need them to win at some point, don't you?

Because you're like, why am I taking this kid to training, going to these games? What age do you think is the – It's a good point. It's time to start winning. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe 12, 13.

I don't know. It depends on – I mean, you definitely know some kids early on. I've watched some pretty intense people at cross-country races under 10 years old. Yeah. They go intense people at cross-country races under 10 years old yeah they go hard you know they want results from those under 10s yeah what let's have a snap text pop four four eight seven what's the appropriate age to start saying all right mate time to get out there and start winning yeah i guess it would depend on the kid and what they're

you know if and you don't kind of know if as the kid kind of just doing it because they you know is this going to be what they want to do for a career Or is this going to be like have some fun with their mates Because I reckon that's I know but Ben you go into netball games On Saturday morning you're out there in the cold Braving the elements you want some wins Don't you you want some victories

Yeah nice but I also do want my kids To have fun because if they went over Yeah we won but I hate everything about it You're going to go oh well what's the point of, you know? And that's how Venus and Serena Williams became the best in the world. That's how Tiger Woods became the best in the world, you know? Traumatize the childhood, get results in adult life. Snap poll, give us a call.

4487 is our number. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. What your partner just can't get their head around. You know, they just can't get their head around. You know, they just can't fathom a particular facet of the household. And so you're having to pick up all the admin. For me, I'm going to throw myself under the bus. When it comes to the tax system, it's something I've never nailed, Ben. Not once have I nailed and I don't have, I don't have a mathematical brain. Like my number, I'm just not a numbers person, and when my dad was and growing up, it would have been very frustrating dealing with a mathematical dunce like myself.

Jennifer, my wife, she's got a mathematical brain. You're pretty good at maths. I can do it, yeah. I don't enjoy doing any of that stuff, but I do. I'm like, well, I need to work it out, so let's just suck it up and try and work it out. But it is, you know. The good thing is with maths is if you can navigate your way through school you're no good at it don't worry when you're an adult the internet can do the maths for you for the most part but i've had my i've had my troubles with

the tax department in the past haven't i and you had a great conversation with you a couple years ago you're like why don't you be a contractor you know you run your own thing you contract out to people and you're like a lonely island aren't you you're running you look at your own business sole trader but what comes with that there's a lot of admin yes yes there is a lot of admin and admin is not my it's not my strong point uh and i'm always getting emails from hey why is this not matching up with what the inland revenue's got where's this invoice what happened to that how come why haven't you taken the tax off that loan? And I've got to the point where I'm like, I think there's going to be another tax investigation.

I've already had to owe them money in the past, haven't I? Had to borrow that off my father-in-law to pay back the tax department. I'd ticked the wrong tax bracket for years. And I was paying less tax than I should have been. And then all of a sudden it's like oh hello yeah then like four years later they're like hey buddy you haven't been paying so why didn't you tell me this four bloody years ago i know anyway so i just i don't think i'm ever going to grasp the tax system so that's what i can't get my head around in the house to me it's

for me it's a fitted it's folding a fitted sheet like i don't mind folding clothes or do all that sort of stuff folded stuff but just folding a fitted sheet is Like I don't mind folding clothes or do all that sort of stuff, folded stuff, but just folding a fitted sheet is just, I've watched the burrito thing online. I've tried to do tutorials. I've tried, people go, look, you just need to do that. I'm like, yeah, everyone makes it look way easier than it is. Halfway through those videos, you're like, why am I wasting my time watching this?

Yeah, yeah, but it's so hard. Like folding a fitted sheet, I'm just like, I can't do it. You just scrunch and hide it away. Yeah, or leave it in the washing pot. My wife can. Yeah, yeah. But it's so hard. Like folding a fitted sheet. I'm just like, I can't do it. You just scrunch and hide it away? Yeah, or leave it in the washing pot. My wife can do it. Great. I'm like, I'll fold all the other washing and then I'll be like,

these are the two fitted sheets. I just couldn't do it. Sorry, can't do it. Give it up. And I'm not willing, I've tried to learn and I'm not willing to take my education any further. So 800 the hits.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Just talking about what your partner can't get their head around. Ben can't get his head around folding fitted sheets, and I can't seem to understand the complex New Zealand tax system. Yeah. Which has led me to be the subject of more than one

in land revenue investigation. But Delvika, you're on the show. Welcome. Hi, Jono and Ben. Lovely to have you on, Delvika. Happy Monday morning. What your husband can't get his head around? Oh, my God.

He hates doing the toilet. Oh, cleaning the loo. Oh, yes. And the washrooms. And, oh, my God, it's a nightmare. And we have this argument every week on week. I've shown him the tough way. I've shown him the easy way.

And I don't know. There's something about it. I think he just hates it. Yeah. I find cleaning toilets strangely satisfying. Oh, do you? Yeah, the reward of a nice clean... It's not the most fun of jobs. I know. There's nice smell. It's such a good feeling.

But yeah, I think it's one of those weekly shows that he... It's just off his list. He lumps that on you. Yeah, I mean, don't of those weekly shows. It's just off his list. He lumps that on you. Don't get me wrong, there's seven other things I'd rather be doing apart from cleaning the toilet. Yeah, I would agree on that. I'm just like, he loved doing his lawn.

Oh, the lawn. Yeah, right. Hey, Delvika, you go and have a great week. I really appreciate you listening. We'll get you out some hell pizza, eh? Oh, thank you so much. Someone's texting. 4487.

My husband can't change the printer ink. Oh, yeah. And can't get his head around it. To the point where he just emails himself to work and then prints it out at work. Another one here. Light switches. My fiance can't figure out the light switches and what lights they're attached to in the house. We have that.

Yeah, I have that same situation. You just end up putting them all on. Smooshing them all together. Keith from Whangarei, welcome. Hey, how are you, mate? How are you? Yeah, we're doing well. Keith, looking forward to your call.

What, your partner can't get their head around? Cleaning the kitchen, mate. Like, I'm a single man, and there's like an absolute microcosm of just dirt and filth in the kitchen. The dishes have just piled up. Do you do the dishes? Yeah, what's that? Well, this is what I'm saying, mate. I'm a single man.

Oh, so it's all on you. So you're your own partner, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm my own partner. I'm, like, thinking, well, okay, I'm thinking about self-love, and it's like self-love to clean the kitchen. You know? You've got to think about those things, eh, guys?

You know what I noticed? The Rock, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, all his meals he has on paper plates. What was that? Just no dishes in Dwayne The Rock. Just chuck it in a paper plate, Keith. What about the trees, Dwayne? What about the trees? Yeah, that's right.

He's got a couple of trunks on his legs. He'll be fine. Thank you, Keith. Appreciate that. Sammy, we'll take your call quickly. What, your partner can't get their head around? Going to the gym. He won't go to the gym?

No. So he paid for a membership for about a year, and he never even picked up the little fob key thing. Oh, never got the swipe card. Oh, really? Yeah. Couldn't even muster up the energy to walk in and get the swipey. No, exactly.

Not even once. And it was always, oh, no, I'll go tomorrow. Never happened. Wow. So no longer a member? No. In the end, I was like, you really just need to cancel this. Hey, thanks for your call, Sammy.

Appreciate you listening. Have a good day. Thank you, too.