Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Can you guess how long they've been married?

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

Producer Tayla tries Megans cough test on her hubby. Amazing story from a man saved his two-year-olds life! How a member of Zed ended up in boot with Chris Martin! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. 660, you're going on a bit of a sort of more intimate tour of the country, going to small places like surf clubs and marais, going to Great Barrier, Stewart Island, the Far North. All the tickets sold out, you stay in one minute. Wow. Whole tour, whole tour.

One minute. Pretty crazy. I mean, there are smaller venues. A couple hundred people, but just, yeah, really, really cool. So it'd be amazing for places like Fielding and Great Barrier Island and Stewart Island. Great Barrier Island. Wow, cool. To have 660 go and play over the next couple

of months. Good on them for doing it. Seems like a nightmare for logistics. Even $89 tickets too, which is like back to almost old school pricing, which is kind of cool, you know? Yeah, that's good. The old regional tour of Aotearoa, wonderful. A minute! That was wild. Good on them. Well, they had a better

day than me yesterday because I was back and forth emailing with a business. Now, I had got in touch, well you know how you email through a website, it's like contact us. You can message the company back and forth and a lovely gentleman called Colin responded back to me. And it was a textbook messaging session.

I was asking questions. He was providing answers. Back and forth. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. About nine emails, nine messages. Now, until it got to the end of the ninth one, I typed at the end of my message, thanks, Colin. Then I looked up at the screen and went, oh, that says thanks, Colin. Had you sent it?

No, I didn't send that one. But then I went back through the nine email threads. And for our entire comms, it had been auto-correcting to colon now in a bit of a difficult position you've got two options, you ignore it and hope that colon hasn't seen it hasn't seen the auto-correct scandal

or you address the elephant in the email room I'm so sorry I've just looked back through all our all our talking and I've been calling you part of the large intestine for about an hour now. And he said, don't worry, it happens all the time.

He gets so used to it. Did it happen to you, Megan? Was someone here at work? I changed it to sex. Their name's Roo and it's the same kind of vibe. And I was like, this is just not what I wanted to send. What would you go, good morning sex?

Yeah. I was trying to say, hey sexy, which is not appropriate. Not at all appropriate. Roo sexy though, Roo sexy. No, but it's just not. It's not appropriate in the workplace. Did you send it? Yeah. Oh no. Again, I addressed's just not. It's not appropriate in the workplace. Did you send it? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah.

Again, I addressed it, obviously. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now we have an amazing prize up for grabs. Family holiday to the far north of New Zealand. Beautiful part of the country. And we wanted to see how far you would go to go, of course, to the far north, which is as far as you can go in New Zealand. Now, yesterday, we had Shano.

He was on hold for 60 minutes, an hour, all while doing his morning duties, the far north, which is as far as you can go in New Zealand. Now, yesterday, we had Shano. He was on hold for 60 minutes, an hour, all while doing his morning duties, preparing the children for school. He's held off work commitments as well, just to get in the draw, to see how far he would go for the far north. That is the commitment people have for the far north, Ben. I mean, you've got a huge commitment. You go there every New Year's, don't you? Yeah, I go there around about that time of year.

Yeah, see my mum. And could these people stay at Jenny Boyce's house? I'm sure she'd love it. To be honest, she would love it. She has so many random people staying. Would she? All the time. All the time.

You don't bring up your mum's house, do you? I know she wouldn't mind at all. You turn up there and you're like, oh, who's this? Oh, they're staying for six months. They're staying for such and such. I picked them up on State Highway 1. Are they nice people or are you a bit like, this is odd? Oh, no, they all seem very nice.

It all seems like, yeah, they've all got interesting stories, interesting backgrounds. Yeah, it's great. Kind of like a halfway house there. Well, you're more than welcome to stay at Jenny Boyce's house there in Pye here. Let's get Brett on the phone. Welcome from Taranaki. How are you?

Not too bad. Big drive from Taranaki to the far north, Brett. Yeah, it's a long way, isn't it? You won't have to worry. This is flights, accommodation, and a weekend away with your family. Great things you can do up there, but are you prepared to stay on hold until 7 o'clock this morning? Yeah, no, that's absolutely fine.

Yeah, all right. It was 45 minutes, less than yesterday, so a 45-minute wait on the phone, and the Inland Revenue just call that another absolutely fine Yeah, alright, it was 45 minutes, less than yesterday So a 45 minute wait on the phone The Inland Revenue just called that another day at work, mate We could make it authentic and pump like bloody Dave Dobbin songs And maybe tomorrow down there on repeat for you If you want the full experience of being on hold Yeah, why not

Good on you Well, if you're still there at 7 o'clock, you're in the draw, Brett. If you drop off or we lose you, we take the first caller and put them in the draw, okay? Okay, cheers for that. We'll talk to you soon. There we go, Brett, trying to get in the draw for the Far North. The Jono and Ben Podcast.

Sadly, the New Zealand Breakers out of the Australian NBL competition last night, losing their game to the Illawarra Hawks. Good effort though. Yeah, good effort. Good season, man. Tough season with a lot of injuries, but they did really well. Now, hopefully he hasn't Houdini'd us. Brett from Taranaki we spoke to about seven minutes ago. You still there?

I'm still here. On hold. How far would he go for the Far North to win an all-expenses-paid trip there? You and the family, great place to go for Easter as well, Brett. What are you doing this morning? You working? I'm mil for Easter as well, Brett. What are you doing this morning? You working? Oh, I'm milking cows. Oh, cute.

So you can just have the phone sitting on speaker and keep squirting dem udders, eh? Pretty much just put it in your pocket. Oh, nice. All right, well, don't drop off. Are the girls talkative this morning? No. Oh. They're quiet.

I love it when you call them the girls well we'll come back to you and the girls shortly brent okay cheers now yesterday we're talking about kids uh saying some well loose lips from kids they they just no filter sometimes right we wanted to use kids say the darndest things but it's got you know it's had some brand damage over the years. It was a TV show with Bill Cosby. Yeah, it was. Very popular. Very popular.

It was a fun show. But then we're like, oh, well, we'll have to change ours to Kids With Loose Lips. Yeah. And this phone call. A friend of ours, their son was about five or six years old, and they had friends that came over, and they had this very, very beautiful 18-year-old daughter. At some point, this boy couldn't take it anymore and

he walked up to her and he says, you are very pretty. You'll make a real good prostitute one day. His mother was furious. I think she locked him up in the bathroom for the rest of her life. Love the punishment of being locked up in the bathroom too. It's what you do to a dog or a five-year-old and call someone a prostitute. So yeah, the kids, loose lips. It reminded me when Poppy was at daycare. I don't know where she picked this up from,

but she turned up one morning, Jen dropped off, and there was someone just trying to get in the door. She goes, hurry up your wanker. Oh, really? Now, Jen claims it was the way I vocalised my disdain at other drivers. I'm like, well, you're also pretty vocal as well on the roads. I'm a little girl. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

We're talking about kids saying stuff that they shouldn't. You're just saying it happened to you yesterday, Megan. Well, yeah, it was probably what preempted what he said. My son's three years old at daycare. He went up to his female teacher and slapped her on the bum and pointed and was like, need a change. He's like someone from Mad Men from the 50s or something. Yeah, he was like, oh, yeah, that's how his dad talks to his mum.

It is interesting that time that I remember when the kids were very well a lot littler and I was talking about parts of the anatomy

and stuff and to explain that to Sienna and obviously a certain word stuck in her head and we were visiting family in America

going through customs and we got right up to the customs guy and you know it's quite serious in America and she just went penis

at the top of it and I was like whoa she'd never seen it before now yeah now is it waiting for the time time I don't know what's going on here yeah so we wanted to know this morning when loose lips from kids got you in trouble uh Marie what happened to you oh that. Marie, what happened to you? Oh, that's for sure. What happened, mate? Went to fetch her on a Monday after school. She was in kindy. And I could see the teacher and the children are, you know, making way for me to come and get my daughter and go out.

So I asked her, you know, so what happened at school? How was your day he said no we just had to tell everyone what we did over the weekend i said okay what did you do you know because the sunday then the day before we were watching avatar and um i pour a little bit of apple juice in a little miniature wine glass and uh grandma and Grandpa was there but she refers to them as Opa and Oma and so she says, now I told the teachers that I watched blue movies while drinking wine with you

while Opa was drinking wine with Oma. Blue movies and drinking wine. Heck of a night. Technically not wrong with Avatar. Yeah, true. Brilliant. You're going to have a great day, Marie. Appreciate it.

Thank you. Bye. Thank you, Shelley. Shelley, you're on. Welcome. How are you? Your kid's loose lips getting you in trouble. Yes, that's correct. My daughter at primary school, they had a police woman come to talk to them about stranger danger for the whole

week. And then the following week her teacher said to the class so you had a police woman coming to talk to you about stranger danger who can tell me what would you do if a stranger came up to you and tried to touch you or do something that he wasn't supposed to do and my daughter quickly put her hand up and said, kick him in the balls. That's a great technique. And she's right. She listened to me because that's exactly what I told her to do.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Cost of vehicle registration looks like it's going up over the next little while. $25 next year, $25 the year after to pay for the roading costs around New Zealand. Well, the cost of travelling to the far north is going down. It could be free for Brett, who's been on hold since first thing this morning. You're still there, Brett? I sure am. 40 minutes later, how far would you go for the far north?

You get flights, accommodation, all paid for, mate. And if you're still there by 7 o'clock You're going to be in the drawer okay Milking cows are the girls talking now No they don't talk Are they mooing No Have you even got cows there Brett Be honest

I'll change over a set of cups if you like I don't know why he's talking Changing over cups or something. Every time we talk to someone milking cows, it reminds me of when we were with Tanganoa Walker, who's a wonderful advocate for the dairy industry, Tanganoa, and he took us milking, and he squirted milk in my face

directly from the cow's udder. He did, and straight into his coffee. Straight into the coffee, yeah, into my mouth, and I was like... That's the best way to have it. Fresh, fresh milk. You can't get any fresher than that. I went to a dairy farm and saw one being born and I nearly passed out.

Confronting. It was not beautiful. Well, Brett, you don't have long to go, mate. If you're still there by seven, you're in that drawer, okay? Okay, cheers, guys. See you, mate. Back to you shortly. Some news that's broken overnight.

Can we take drink bottles on planes here in New Zealand? I think so. Not full though, eh? You have to, well not through customs, you can't take them full. I haven't been on a plane for like four years, so I don't know. Yeah, I feel like you can. I feel like you can, but you can't take liquid through if

you're going international, you have to pour it out beforehand but then you can fill it in on the other side of customs. Yeah, because there was a period there where you couldn't take roll-on deodorant, you couldn't take nail clippers. I think it's all back now, I think. Yeah, we forgot about the terror attacks, didn't we? And we've gone back to normal. But have a listen to this warning.

So when I opened it, it proceeded to piss like a hose all over my row, the row in front of me, the row behind me, the row across from me, the row across from me, and up the row across from me and down. I hit easily, you know, because I was flying in coach, like 15 people with my squirting water bottle. Because luckily for me, this thing holds like 30 ounces. Learn from my mistakes, and never fly with a giant water bottle with a f***ing straw in it. So there we go. Hyper the cabin pressure apparently turns it into an uncontrollable fire hose scenario. So let that be a warning.

Producer Taylor, I remember you saying about it, because the drink bottle games got out of control and imo uh remember back in the day you'd have just like some sort of bank promotional yeah bottle the squirty one still laughing at your imo in my opinion yeah just tried to integrate that naturally uh now i'm getting mocked for it now i am um hurt feelings but taylor your bottle you you out of what were you doing for six months so um i was drinking out of the straw which Now, I am arm hurt feelings. But Taylor, your bottle. What were you doing for six months? So I was drinking out of the straw, which I thought was just my lipstick, marking the ring around the straw,

until one of the street teamers at the office said, you know that's mould inside your plastic straw? And I was like, no, it's not. It's my lipstick. And she's like, why would your lipstick be inside the straw? And I was like, that's a great observation. So we got one of those ear things, the ear cleaners. Cotton buds, yeah.

Cotton buds and put it in the straw. And what came out was disgusting. And you were sucking that up every day. It's like a little bit of a design flaw with, I think, some of those modern ones. They're really hard to clean. Yes. They're actually to clean. Because bottle cleaners don't get in the straw.

Yeah. Whereas the old school just opened it up yeah open it up and put the lid back on faded bnz bank promotional bottle no dramas quite work does that but yeah yeah there you go did you wash your bottle or not i threw it out all right yeah i was like stuff that but leading up to that point where you're washing oh no well it gets water in it. You didn't wash it for six months. No you didn't wash it at all. You didn't wash it every day. Six months. Pre-workout, collagen, everything's going in there. Oh really? Green powder. That is gangster. Well like I said, well anyway

now Ben's off. I was trying to like go on your side going oh they're hard to clean but you're not even cleaning it. It's so grim. It's like a petri dish. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. 32,000 fans will be

seeing her tonight at Foresight Bar Stadium in Dunedin, one of the city's biggest ever concerts tonight. The city's pretty much at maximum capacity. All places booked out. Yeah, some people are paying thousands of dollars. Yeah, they're also putting in Victoria Road car park, they're putting a temporary camper van area. Oh, some people are paying thousands of dollars. Yeah, they're always putting like in Victoria Road car park they're putting like

a temporary camper van area. Oh really? People can either bring camper vans or they've got ones already set up as well just for extra accommodation. That's cool.

And that's already at capacity. Well, because remember our big bugbear was Dunedin as they've placed the airport so far away

from the city in the hope that they thought Dunedin was going to expand and it never did but maybe this is the time that they're going to stretch out further developments.

Now, Brett in Taranaki, congratulations. You've made it to the finish line, been on hold. How far would he go for the far north? Well, he's been on hold for nearly an hour, and you are in that draw for that all-expenses-paid trip to Northland, mate. Okay, cheers for that. All right. Just like that. we're done.

He wants to hang up. He's got work to do, right? Nearly finished, actually, last row. Oh, last row of the cows. He's been milking cows and winning radio comps. Have you named them all? What did you say? Have you named all the girls?

I've got about 10 names of cows. Rattle through them, Brett. Who have we got? I've got Philly. I've got about 10 names of cows. Rattle through them, Brett. Who have we got? I've got Philly. I've got Jumper. I've got Daisy. Dottie.

Long Legs. I feel like you just made that last one up. Has Long Legs got long legs? Yeah, really long legs

and she actually stands high in the bath so you can't get up underneath't put cups on now could you name you know three cows Jono

Ben and Megan I can do one Megan but not Jono and Ben oh okay alright why can't we get cows

named after because they're girls oh okay oh yeah yeah fair enough alright Jolene and

Bethany or something Good on you mate, you're in there draw break, good luck for the trip to Northland, great location, great place to go over Easter if you're looking to get away with the family Now, pulling back the curtain, have we got enough time or are we going to run late for news? Have I got time to ramble? Grace, over to you

She's like She's a side eye We're running out of time Maybe we'll save a ramble More rambling after Has Kourtney Kardashian thrown shade At a New Zealand city While she spelt Auckland wrong

On her Instagram A-U-K-L-A-N-D Which I guess is not too far from what the actual spelling is. No, Ben, no. It's unforgivable. People are like up in arms. Someone start a comment section on the internet, okay? We'll tell you how we really feel.

I'll polish up the pitchforks. We'll get her good and proper, all right? It was Christchurch last week with someone from Blink 182, right? I'm calling for prison time. Okay, so Producer Taylor with the world's longest riddle That before I was like Can you tell it to us You should have just said

I'll come back and say it It's really long It's really long But here we go If you know the riddle This is the riddler The riddler Bear with me everybody

As I read this paragraph out Before you I'm taking notes Before you do the riddle Can you just give the stats Yes On who can actually solve this? Gladly.

So interestingly enough, 98% of Harvard students can't get this riddle, but 83% of kindergartens can. So that should tell you probably think basic. Don't think too hard. Yeah. No Googling Megan Puffers. No, I'm taking notes.

Can confirm they can see my laptop. Thinking too hard, never been an issue for this show. Okay, 100 of the hits if you know this riddle. Okay, the riddle is, I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee

and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn pancakes brown and make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I'll pop. But if you look at me, you'll pop. Can you guess the riddle?

The sun. No. The atmosphere. No. What would kids say? If you look at me, I'll pop. It's so long. I lose concentration.

Oh, that. Oh, no. It's so long I lose concentration I know Can you riddle through it quickly Everyone's calling through Alright we'll get you smart people in a moment The riddle is I turn polar bears white And I'll make you cry I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair I make celebrities look stupid

And normal people look like celebrities I turn pancakes brown and make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I'll pop, but if you look at me, you'll pop. Can you guess the riddle? If you look at me, you'll pop. Oh, it's the wind. Oxygen. There's a few in there I'm like,

what I'm thinking matches. Water. Alright, so we throw it out to the 100 that's. Let's go to Carissa, shall we? From Tauranga Come on then Do you know the answer, Carissa?

Good morning, it's John speaking How are you? He didn't sound very Carissa-y Couldn't even solve the mystery of who the caller is I'm going to guess, is it John? Why did you say Carissa? Oh I just thought I'd make up a fun name

See it was my little Pet name for John Alright Carissa What do you think The answer is? Time No It's not John

Oh good thinking though Good thinking though Alright well let's get One more I'll edit the hits Natasha If that is even Your real name

I'm going to guess It's probably Greg On the phone, is it? Hello? Hello, Natasha? Oh, hello. Go ahead, how are you? I've got a name right. All right, what's the answer?

I think the answer is no. I can't guess the riddle. Yes, you're right, Natasha. The last sentence was, can you guess the riddle? No. That sucks. That sucks. So all that stuff.

No, that sucks. Can you guess the riddle? No. That's like kindergarteners get it because they're like, no. Can you guess the riddle? No. Just get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here, you stupid riddle.

Natasha, we're going to find you a prize. Now I know. Yeah, that was disappointing. Not like our lovemaking, Ben boys. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The greatest weather around the country at the moment feels like summer. Maybe it's, what's it called?

It's autumn now. It was like the heavens unloaded what's it called? It's autumn now. It was like the heavens unloaded a very full bladder on us yesterday. It was just teeming down, wasn't it?

Now, Ben Bush, you've got a Scottish person staying at your house. Yeah, a couple of Scottish young ladies who are travelling around the country. One's been working up north

staying at my mum's house. Oh, so that's how you knew? Because I was like, how has he ended up with two Scottish young ladies in his house they're awesome and they're travelling

around New Zealand again you feel bad when people come to New Zealand because one of them has just arrived the other one's been here a while and the weather's been shocking

I know we've had a good burst it's like summertime you're like oh it's not always like this it's been so good for two months yeah I know

they're like oh she reminds me of Scotland at the moment because it's wet in winter and you're like oh it was even last week mate have you come last week I know but it's been cool having them there but we you know like

the accent thing our accent is hard for them to sometimes understand and vice versa yeah we're talking about different things about the accents a bit of a lost in translation and uh she was pitching some social experiment well yeah we're talking about uh in Scotland there's different parts of the Scottish accent within the country and how people talk slightly differently in different areas of Scotland. And Sophie had this to say. Okay, Sophie, now you're from Scotland.

Now, what do I need to do? What's the theory? So if you're from Glasgow and you say the sentence purple burglar alarm, they really struggle. So give me an example of what you think will happen, then we'll call someone from Glasgow and see if they actually say it. Okay, go. It would probably go along the lines of purple burglar alarm.

I feel like you added too many syllables in that, but we'll test it. All right. Did you tell Sophie why you were recording her? Oh, yeah, so she knew what you did for a job, not just this random man started recording me with his phone. And I had a conversation

and then I went away and I was like, actually it was quite good. Can I record that? And came back and we repeated the conversation for me to record it. And I said,

you're on Food, Bath and Radio? She's like, yeah, fine. So it's all conceded. She's like, do whatever you do. I don't know.

I'm not going to listen to it. So it sounds like they're talking underwater. It does. Yeah. Doesn't it? So obviously they struggle they're talking underwater. It does, doesn't it? So obviously they struggle, I'm guessing, with the R's. Too many R's to roll together. Are there any Glaswegians listening to the show right now?

Well, the answer to that is no bet. Well, yeah, it's quite a specific thing to sort of go out and go, hey, are you from Glasgow? One person from Glasgow. Are you from Scotland? Are you from Glasgow in particular? So we might have to call someone from Glasgow right now. Okay, well, we've got the number of a bar.

The time zone works out. It's the early evening there at the moment. So we'll go through to Glasgow. Hello, Drum Monkey. Hello, mate. Have we got hold of Glasgow? Pardon me? Have we got hold of Glasgow? Pardon me?

Have we got hold of Glasgow, Scotland? Yeah, you do. Oh, hey, it's Jono and Ben and Megan from a radio station in New Zealand. Oh, mate. We won't even tell you the name of it because it won't matter an ounce to you, but we're here for a social experiment. Bye, then. Can you say Purple burglar alarm?

Honestly, mate, no. You can't. It's not going to work, mate. It's not going to work. Hustle burglar alarm. Say it again, sorry. Hustle burglar alarm. Oh, you're a little bit faster.

Oh, no, you're not, eh? I feel like I'm understanding about 20% of what you're saying. It'd probably be vice versa. All right, you have yourself a great day. Cheers, mate. Not quite the struggle. I mean, it was a little bit of a struggle, but maybe it's a thing. It sounds like it's a thing.

He was like, no. You mock the people from Glasgow with it. Maybe we just caught ourselves up in some sort of international scandal we just cancelled ourselves maybe we have in Scotland maybe we've cancelled ourselves I blame Sophie hey next we want to talk about something that Jen's doing in your relationship yeah and it's a surefire sign that uh you've been together for a long time okay Megan I know uh Andrew husband, still puts toothpaste on your toothbrush. That has never once happened in my relationship. So... You always screw your nose up.

It really grosses Ben out. I can't help it that we're cute, Ed. Okay. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. But today, just discovered five. Sold out show at the Power Station. Five, or who are now three?

Well, they're still called five. Sean, Richie and Scott. Three of them tonight at the Power Station. What happened to bloody old Abs? Where'd Abs go? Oh, no, Abs, he had a bit of a rough time, I think. Oh, did he go off the rails? Yeah, a little bit.

But I think he might be back again, but I don't know if touring's the right thing was Abs his name yeah and Jay is the other one that's not going to be there oh yeah Abs

did he have some images he did go off the rails didn't he it turns out I'm quite a fan you knew all

their names off by heart I was like oh five are in the country and you like rattle off their names

and stuff I told you who the three were that were going to be here yeah Scott was my fave huge huge band

in the 90s. 10 million records sold worldwide. Ab's got face tattoos now. Does he? Yeah. Well, I hope everything's all right with Abs. He did have some wonderful abs back then, didn't he? It's like saying his name, Ab.

But A-B-Z as well. Welcome to The Country Five. Lovely to have all three of you here. Now, we've reached an age and stage in our marriage, Jennifer, my wife and I, where I think one of the great things that brings her joy when I unintentionally self-inflict pain on myself. Right. Okay?

I'll get a guaranteed laugh from the house if I knock my head on the open cupboard door, stub a toe. Back in the beginning stages of the relationship, that would have given me an ice pack,

a head bandage, two weeks counselling. Sympathy. Sympathy, yeah. You're okay. Now all it does is bring an immense amount of joy and laughter

and I can't help but feel it's the universe paying me back for being a D-bag throughout a relationship. And so uh that's that's what that's 17 years of marriage been yeah so you go through the the ages and stages of the relationship day and uh we are now your partner hurting it hurting themselves as yeah that's some rock solid lols so that's what we wanted to do this morning we wanted you to tell us a scenario, and then we'll, based on that scenario,

try and work out how long you've been together. In Jono's case, laughing at your partner, injuring yourself. That's not like two weeks into the relationship. That's, you know, 17 years. You wouldn't even do that sort of five or 10 years into the relationship. Megan gets her toothbrush toothpasteed by Andrew, your husband. Whoever brushes their teeth first puts toothpaste on for the other person. Oh, my God.

Morning and night. I feel like you're the exception to this game. I reckon you've been, I don't know how long you've been married, but I'm going to say you're within the five-year still honeymoon period of marriage. Six years. Six, yeah. If you're having a toothbrush pre-pasted by your partner so my wife now has beside the bed earplugs because i i snore from time to time she's shy

has puts the earplugs in or she'll just go the other room like not so that's and that's showing you start a relationship we wouldn't sleep another right now it's like whatever you need to get the best night's sleep everyone does no separate beds we sleep whatever it is you just do whatever to get the best i'm gonna guess you've. Everyone does. We sleep in separate beds, we sleep in whatever it is, you just do whatever to get the best night's sleep. I'm going to guess you've been together 15 years? Yeah,

we've been over 20 years. 20 years? Whoa, have you? That's when the air plugs and separate beds come into play, baby. That's right, mate.

Good Lord. Yeah, sometimes I accidentally use your toothbrush and everyone's like, oh, gross, you know, we're not even putting

toothpaste on each other's toothbrushes. Do you have to like book in, you know, like fun times? Oh, schedule time. We're 20 years in a relationship. I don't even know what fun times are anymore. I'm joking, I'm joking. He's like – My microphone flopped down.

My microphone was like – Directly after. He's like, I'm joking, I'm joking. It was a joke. Good morning, Amanda. I'll wait under the hood.

The air plugs will be in tonight, that's for sure. Separate room, baby. I'll wait under the hood. You can text 4487. You just tell us one,

one characteristic about your relationship. That's all we need to know i.e oh i get my toothbrush pre-pasted and we'll try and guess how long you've been with this particular person yeah okay that's the game the age and stage of your relationship we'll try and uh we'll try and guess what age and stage you're at oh 800 the hits the hits the jonah and ben podcast and of course uh the road uh the uh the registration is going to go up by 50 i was trying to think of the word for that but it's going to go up by 50 over the next

couple of years pay for all the roading that needs to be done around the country okay well that uh that makes sense it does make sense yeah everything's going up it's just like here's another thing yeah cost of living here's another thing yeah you're right yeah we've taken so many hits they don't even hurt anymore all right we're going to guess the agent stage of your relationship you just tell us one uh redeeming feature about your relationship and we'll try and guess how long you've been together in fact producer taylor can we get uh can we get you and married to uh marcello i kind of feel like they buck the trend marcello and taylor they feel like an old married couple of about 45 years like megan as well they've been together for a while, you and Andrew,

but you're still doing these cute, sickly little things. Do we have to say sickly? No. Jealous? I wish Andrew would put the toothpaste on my toothbrush. Now, Taylor, you just tell us one redeeming feature about your relationship, something Marcello does. Okay, like go to the toilet with the door open.

Easy. See, I'm going to pick that's a 10-year relationship yeah yeah how long yeah we've been together for 10 years this year 10 years yeah but only married like a year and a bit if that yeah but that's your kind of family thing too isn't it it is yeah now he's kind of assimilated into that okay and so you'll still talk to each other while uh while going about your duties we have some of our best conversations while he's on the toilet okay yeah vulnerable yeah yeah are there moments where you're like yeah and i'll go and pick up oh my god yeah for him yeah for him yeah

we go through like oh this is my tmi but we go through like, I literally had this conversation with him yesterday. We go through like a 24 pack of toilet paper like every five days. And I'm going, can you start using your work facilities? Because we can't afford this. It's a lot. A lot. 24 rolls. Anyhow. All right, we're wrapping you up.

We're going to get to the course. All right. Let's just don't make the way. Holly, you're on. Okay. Tell us one thing about your relationship. We'll try and guess The age and stage

My husband likes To give me the middle finger Before he leaves So he doesn't wave He doesn't See ya Kiss you on the cheek It's quite funny

It's playful I'm guessing I'm going to say The 15 year 15 year mark You've been together Pretty close 17

Oh There you go Good guess Yeah Okay I feel like it's not a date We've only been married for 15-year mark you've been together? Pretty close, 17. Oh, there you go. Oh, no. Yeah. Okay. I feel like it's not a date. We've only been married for eight.

Okay. The middle finger started coming out after eight years of marriage. Okay. It's not a day one thing, is it? It's not a first date sort of situation. We'll get Teresa on. Tell us one thing about your relationship. We'll try and guess how long you've been together, Teresa.

Well, my husband can walk into the room and tell me, that's my wife's fart. He knows which odour you emit. Even if you aren't in the room? Yep. Okay, they know each other well. It's definitely, again, more than a couple of weeks, isn't it? Those familiar nostrils.

I reckon 12 years. I'm going gonna go 20. all right a bit more than that nearly 30. oh there you go 30 years yeah he's really good at this well you do you just got to figure out you're like well you're not you're not doing that business within the five-year gap are you have you even heard andrew uh only in his sleep yeah exactly he's not doing that on purpose lee we, we'll get you on. One thing about your relationship, we'll try and guess how long you're together. So I had to start

putting Apple AirTags on his car keys and wallet and stuff like that because he's losing everything. And he bangs his toe all the time and I just said, you need to watch, you're old enough to know spatial awareness. Okay, right.

So just zero empathy. Zero empathy for the injury. Okay. Losing stuff all the time, you're like, oh, jeez. That's a 30 plus year marriage. Oh, really? What did you say?

30. Oh, yeah, dead on. In two weeks' time, actually. Oh! There we go. Happy anniversary. Well done. 30 years together.

Can I just say, the redeeming feature is he puts up with my money spending. Oh, that's a good man. That's nice. On a happy note, what is the secret to a lovely, long-lasting marriage?

Happy husband, happy life. What did you say? Happy Husband Happy Life What did you say? Happy Husband Happy Life Happy Husband Happy Life Oh happy anniversary for 30 years that's pretty incredible you guys have got there in a couple of weeks I imagine you'll have to remind them about it

but that's all part of 30 years The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast And that is Pink playing in Dunedin tonight, of course, in front of over 30,000 people and then two concerts, Friday, Saturday in Auckland this week. Cool to have her in the country. Very, very cool.

And great that she's spanning the entire motu, isn't it? Yeah. Going to places. Don't you know, Dunedin, they get a few things. Yeah, right, but don't get too many concerts. Not of that calibre. No, no, it's very cool. Thanks, Jono, for that input.

Now, right now, we're doing something with Square One. It's called Dragon's Bend. We've got a $10,000 business startup package to be won, and it's for kids to come up with a big idea. Now, Square One's pretty cool. It's an app that gives your kids the financial head start they need. You can get it on the App Store or Google Play. play you can learn about money and they can have their own account and sort of monitor that and we want to give someone a ten thousand dollar package for a big

idea a kid with a big idea yeah well it's a very good idea square one we met jamie and jovan who started it two parents who are like man this generation it's very true don't actually know the meaning of physical money. They're just seeing phones being tapped or buttons being clicked. They don't understand the value of a dollar. So that's kind of why they set it up. So a really cool idea. So if you've got an idea and you're a kid listening, go to the hitstock.co.nz.

Ask my daughter, Indy, where she actually had an idea a couple of nights ago for a business idea. Here's Indy's idea. What's your invention? Okay, so when you spill something and you don't want to get a cloth and clean it up, idea a couple of nights ago for a business idea here's indy's idea what's your invention okay so when you spill something and you don't want to like get a cloth and clean it up but so you use a sock but then it gets wet so it's an invention called a sock mop right so the sock is also a mop and it's half sock half mop yeah so it'll be like a sock and then like you know that moth fabric it would be like at the bottom of the sock. Okay, I like it.

Yeah. I like it. I mean, it seems a little unnecessary, but I like it. No, it would be like whenever you use the kitchen, you know. You put on your sock mops. So that's it, sock mops. Yeah, it feels like a product that would have been advertised on television about 15 years ago.

Yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah, you know, it's an interesting idea, you know. I hadn't ever heard of a sock mop before. I was like, well, well done. And then I Googled it idea, you know. I hadn't ever heard of a sock mop before. I was like, well, Indy, you know, well done. And then I Googled it, and I thought, what have you been done? It's already been done. I had to go back and tell Indy. It's already an invention. Bad news.

What? Google sock mops. Okay. Yeah. Oh, wait, but that's not – No, they're already a thing. Mine's better. I haven't even seen yours, but it's already a thing.

How is yours different from that? Because, like, it's a sock, and then it'll be, like, just in the bottom, so it won't be, like, a whole... Well, mate, that's what these are. But, like, what if you were wearing barefoot? It'd be so uncomfortable. Oh, mate, there's hundreds of them on Teemu. Yeah.

Hundreds of sock mops. So they are just, like, wearing mops on your socks. It feels like... They look awful awful though, don't they? They're not great fashion accessories, are they? And the energy-wise, just the traditional mopping system is probably using less energy than your legs just constantly sliding. Well, that's what I was like, do you have to go put them on? And at that time you could have bent down and wiped up whatever you need to.

And you're dipping your foot in water to mop it. No one likes wearing soggy socks. We hate to pick holes in a young entrepreneur's plan. Well, hey, it's already been done anyway, and she can't win. I mean, she's related to one of the people at The Hits. So if you've got a cool idea. A.K.A. you, your dad. Yeah, well, one of us maybe.

Go to thehits.co.nz if you've got a big business idea. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. For 660, they're going to be playing some small strip-back acoustic sets around the country and some places like Mud Eyes and surf clubs going for everywhere, including places like Stewart Island, sold out in one minute yesterday, the whole tour, which is pretty awesome. Wow. That's great.

Pretty incredible. Some of those regions star for entertainment, eh? That's bloody good. Good on them for doing it as well. Now, Megan, you have a new theory, which kind of reminds me, remember Cosmopolitan magazine? And they'd have like 29 signs they're cheating on you. This kind of reminds me, the audio version of Cosmopolitan magazine.

Now, this is a relationship test. Yeah, much like the orange peel theory. Ask someone you're dating if they'll peel you an orange and it will show you if they love you or not. It was along the same lines of this. So I sat beside my husband and just coughed a couple of times. The instruction was to do like a couple of like gentle coughs. Keep going until they say something. And what do they say?

Do they ask if you're okay? Or do they tell you to shut up? So it's a reaction. And Taylor, our producer, has tried it out on her husband. But it's fair to say you're coughing. Sounds like you're dying. Yeah.

Which should be more cause for concern, right? It should be. You're right. You're really overplaying. No. I got in trouble for overplaying mine, but you took it to the next level. You sound like you had a collapsed lung, emphysema. Reminded me of my 90-year-old nana who smoked her entire life.

I do have really big tonsils. Like huge tonsils. We say that behind your back. So the normal cough for me Is probably more aligned with what I did Okay so you're secretly recording Marcelo Where's the positioning Are you

He's actually cleaning the fridge Okay And I'm in the kitchen behind him Getting my smoothie prepared Oh you're in the kitchen too Like a place trying to keep hygienic And you're hacking up And he's concentrating on cleaning

Okay so you've set the scene so you're about what a metre apart yeah just really going for it and hoping that he will be offering some sympathy towards you

yes anything offer me a glass of water here we go Oh What did you eat? Oh my God, look how I'm dying. You're lying, nothing's wrong with you, see? I was, thank you. You're like so good. I'm crying. Hey!

Hey! Don't fully isolate that. A guy taking his head out of the fridge just going, hey! The hands were flying and everything. I feel like we need to save that just for any time Taylor comes in and is outrageous. So your theory, Megan, that if you cough and depending on how the partner reacts, how would you... Your relationship's doomed.

I can see that. Either that or he loves you so much. Put up with all of that. You guys have a very passionate Communication style Don't you Yeah Just yelling I imagine it goes

Zero to a hundred Really quickly Absolutely Yeah like Just yeah There's no ever You even asked for a glass of water You're like

Can you give me a glass of water And carry it on coffee I know And he's like Nothing He's always got his head buried in the bloody fridge, mate. Wiped down the fridge.

Well, sorry, I'm dying. No. Stop. Actually, if you want to test it on your partner, we'd love to hear some of your audio as well. You can send that through to us

at any stage. 4487 on the text. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The iconic Kiwi band. You'll know them from such songs as Renegade Fighter. Oh, Great tune.

It's great to see them back together. They've got new music out at the moment. A new single called Future You. It's a very cool new single. It's great to have them back together and great to have them in the studio with us this morning. Now you're just having a little debate

amongst yourselves. We only have here two microphones, active microphones, and you're like, who does the most yourselves. We only have here two microphones active microphones And you're like who does the most talking amongst you who are you gonna pick who's nominating you? Okay, so we're gonna go Nathan. Why is it always Lisa and then Andy as well so Adrian been taking a back seat on this one That's just seen some I do, I do Why are we even here? All the drum questions are gone then

The bass questions First question about bass, do you enjoy playing bass? It's so cool that you guys are back together and new music out as well How cool is that to be back together again after all these years? So fun dude, getting to pretend we're 21 again

and just do it all over is awesome. Is it more enjoyable now than it was then or it's a different type of satisfaction? Different, hey. We're less naughty, so our fun's gone. You think about consequences now, don't you? Think about what you've got to do the next day. I don't know if I should do that.

Fighting is hard. The hangovers take longer to recover from yeah yeah we try to dodge those nowadays it's the prefrontal cortex of our brain has developed enough to know that's a stupid idea i was watching yesterday the video that you for the movie the hot chick oh yeah yeah rob schneider was in it and he's in your video right he's like tagging him for you nathan he's like lip syncing along to your song yeah and i mean that was a huge video at the time what was that like that whole experience he was a good dude it was an awkward beginning though because they said look we'll show you in to see

rob shortly we waited eventually said right come on in we step into his trailer he's facing in a mirror and someone's just holding a toupee over his head just about to put it on his head because he's got good hair in the video like i know yeah and it was all just like beefed up with this um hair piece and it was just so awkward you know and so then he kind of just like and it's like hey guys you know it's like oh you've seen it yeah yeah yeah my secret's out there was no nda that's incredible and so did you guys acknowledge it or We kind of just let it slide. It was just an awkward one. But we got to like 2 a.m.

And he was starting to get a bit dark and grumpy because it was very late. And we found out it was because it was his birthday that day. So he was a good bugger. Oh, wow. He was working on his birthday. And, you know, he did us a solid. So I've made a couple of hits today, guys. Bloody worked thing.

Now I'm working at 2 a.m. So what do you think was the one moment that you remember during the height of the early years of Z where you're like

this is unbelievable that we're doing this doing Coldplay's first proper tour was pretty awesome when they did Parachutes just kind of

when they were blowing up but not and so you'd hang out with the band yeah Chris Martin and I had a massive

go-kart crash yeah and he sulked after that a little bit i did run him through some tires though oh you did and who would have thought he'd go on to become the chris martin that we all know and love today this is the guy you ran off the go-kart track yeah and the record label took us in their promo car and there was no room so him and I were in the boot this go-kart crash and he was really paid off with me as well so the best way to make out there and then he goes oh I really like Renegade Fighter and then

was it a couple of months before that he goes oh I saw you set it the big day out love the songs but I don't like Renegade Fighter

oh so he changed his tune on Renegade Fighter or not I grew on him I grew on him well thank you so much for coming in and hanging out

with us Ed you won't be recounting this one in 20 years time the hits the Jono and Ben podcast. Of course, Blink-182 were in town over the weekend in New Zealand, and Kourtney Kardashian came along with Travis Barker, who plays drums. Oh, don't ruin people's days, Ben.

Oh, she spelled Auckland wrong on her Instagram. We're all up in arms. Do you think it's because when you travel, like, on a plane, isn't the Auckland code AUK? Oh, yeah. So maybe spelt it AUK land. Yeah, Auckland. It's just fine. But everyone's like, oh, shade thrown from the Kardashians.

They hate Christchurch and they hate Auckland. Both islands, double kick in the guts. They will not be welcome back here with open arms. That's one thing I guarantee. Megan, yesterday you were just saying casually you saved a life during that song. Casually sort of saved. I don't know if I saved their life. But I went to a pharmacy yesterday.

I wasn't feeling the best. So I went and got some vitamins and some cold pills. I don't think the methamphetamine's back in those yet. Seymour's bloody putting the pseudo back in the old cold and flu medicine too. Great for people with colds and meth cooks. So that's going to be... But I was in the pharmacy. I always think when I'm in there, I'm just in a

room full of people who are not feeling good. A room full of people who have got all kinds of things going on. And I always look around and wonder what everyone is there for. But there was one woman who looked... She looked tired like look around and wonder what everyone is there for but there was one woman who uh looked she looked tired um and i was trying not to stare but i was keeping an eye on her because she didn't look okay um and she started to sway and i was like oh no i think she's gonna go down oh really

so she started to faint. She fainted on the floor. She kind of sat down and then flopped on the ground. Oh, okay. I was like, oh my God, what's happening here? Did you come to a rescue? Well, there was a lot of people in the pharmacy and I was like, surely someone's going to help her,

maybe the pharmacist. Everyone stood around and was kind of like. So I went over and I was like, I don't know anything, but I know that she was on went over and i was like i don't know anything but i know that she was on her back and i was like i'm going to put her on her side in the recovery position she wasn't having a seizure or anything like that so i figured she was okay to touch yeah so i went over and just put her on her side mouth to mouth no i think she was breathing she seemed like she was breathing but she um i did kind of check in her mouth not with my hands but i checked to make sure her tongue was still out oh yeah not choking choked on her tongue and yeah just put her on her side in case i don't know that's what you're

supposed to do right that's all i know put her in the recovery position but i was just really baffled by the fact that everyone kind of just stood around what happens because you know in the movies after a situation like that, everyone's like, woo! I don't imagine there's much applause, but more sort of awkward silence after the rescue. Yeah, so I was kneeling down, no applause. I didn't rescue her.

So, yeah, when did you know she was okay? Or did you not know? So after I'd put her into recovery, I kind of knelt there, and I didn't even really know what to say. I was just like, uh, uh, uh. And the the pharmacist came over and it was connected to a medical center so they were calling for a doctor well she couldn't have collapsed in a better place really yeah my major concern too if that ever happens to me and someone collapses in front of me first of all I've forgotten the bloody

uh state the you know the yeah the resuscitation yeah I was, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I've done the CPR thing, but it just goes out the window. Yeah, and when you're doing the CPR, you're like, I will never forget this. And then I was like, I feel like I've got a cold, so I shouldn't be mouth-to-mouth with her. No, you were very congested. Is a cold the least of her worries right now?

What would she say? I felt like I needed her consent, but she couldn't give it. My other thing too is where if someone has collapsed on the ground and they're no longer with us or on the way out, you don't want to bring them back to life and go,

he was a pedophile. You know? Or something like that. No, but you don't know at the time. No, that's why you need to ask. Have you committed any unforgivable crimes that if I bring you back to life, I'm going to regret it? You know?

Just a little bit of a Q&A before you start offering the mouth-to-mouth and the resuscitation. She didn't give those vibes. No, well, you wouldn't have known because she was there. So I added the hits 4487. What do we want to know? Have you saved a life? Have you?

Yeah, give us a text. We'd love to hear from you. Done CPR on a stranger? Because you probably haven't had the chance to brag. Yeah, well, true. Did someone fill out a bloody Kiwi Bank New Zealander of the Year form for you there, Megan? What? Yeah, I don't think I saved...

Megan's really like... I don't think I saved a lot. Jono's really overplaying what you said. Yeah, no. Well, I'll go online now and do that. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Megan, you mentioned yesterday that you helped out someone in a pharmacy. Yeah, we're loosely saying you helped out someone in a pharmacy. Yeah,

we're loosely saying that I saved someone's life. Just put them into what I was calling it the recovery position, but apparently it's not called that anymore. It's been cancelled, is it? Yeah, there's so many texts, I can't actually find what it's called now. The stable position or something, because not everyone recovers.

Oh, yeah. But she actually, I didn't say, she actually regained consciousness. So I'm hoping that she's okay. So I was just looking through the categories for the Kiwi Bank New Zealander of the Year. Did you want me to interview as the local hero of the year? Please don't. New Zealander of the Year. No, no.

Let's get Nick on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. How are you this morning, mate? Good, bud. Good and yourself? Yeah, good. Lovely to have you on. You've saved a life, Nick. Yeah, it was my two-year-old boy. He was two years old when it happened. He was quite sick, and then when he actually came right, all he wanted was crispy biscuits. Yeah.

Very, very scary. Very traumatic for you as a parent, though. It was, it was, because I could hear him choking. When I actually grabbed him, I couldn't get it out, so I rang an ambulance, and by the time the ambulance answered, he'd passed out of my arms. He was lifeless. Oh, dear God. So they were telling me to whack him on the back,

and that wasn't working, so I gave them the hymenic manoeuvre, and they said, oh, no, no, don't do that, you'll break his ribs. I said, well, I'd rather have him on the back, and that wasn't working. So I gave him the Heimlich maneuver, and they said, oh, no, no, don't do that. You'll break his ribs. I said, well, I'd rather have him with the broken ribs and alive than passed out or dead. So, yeah. He's now nine years old, so every time he chokes now,

that is the go-to-to person. I can imagine. Did you give it the Heimlich? Did you have the Heimlich? Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one. It must feel very surreal in the moment, I imagine.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, after about an hour or so, he was sitting there in a daze and I was sitting there in a daze and it was just... It was just... Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I mean, it probably takes a few days

to actually come down from an event like that, Nick. Yeah, yeah, it did. It did, yeah. Oh, my God. I feel sick for you, Nick. Yeah, well, good on you it did, it did, yeah. I feel sick for you, Nick. Yeah, well, good on you for doing that. I'm so glad he's okay. Yeah, well, I'm glad everything worked out.

Thank you so much for sharing that with us. No worries, buddy. On this day forward on this show, he'll be Heim Nick. John, you're on, welcome. You saved a life, John. Yeah, yeah. I was working on the side of the road quite a few years back, and this lady came running out.

She said, you killed my husband. And we managed to get out of her what was wrong. He'd had a heart attack. So two of us went in and started working on him. We worked on him a total of five times before the ambulance got there. But in the middle of all this, we got him into the recovery position, and he was stable. And this guy walks in with a little black bag and rolls him on his back and I go and he immediately arrests again

And I went what do you who are you and he goes? I'm his brother-in-law I said well get out of the bloody road and when it worked on him again and brought him back Yeah It was it was very surreal. It was Don't prepare you for it. No. Yeah, I bet well cuz you Obviously don't know what's coming. You don't know how you would react in the moment like that. And then afterwards, you're probably in a complete daze.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the interesting thing, I talked to his wife afterwards, and I said, you know, what happened? And she goes, well, I've been in America for six weeks, and I came home early to surprise him, and he was at the kitchen doing the dishes, and she went, surprise, and've been in America for six weeks, and I came home early to surprise him. And he was at the kitchen doing the dishes, and she went, surprise. And he just collapsed on the floor. Oh, my God.

She tried to come in with a bit of a, look who's back. Yeah. I'm glad everything worked out. Otherwise, she'd be like, oh, my God. He's like, damn it, the mistress is in the spare room. So you give a surprise. Good on you, John. Have a good one.

Yeah, well done. Glenda, we'll take one more on this. You've saved a life as well. These are very interesting calls. What happened to you? So it was Christmas time, and I was in a shopping centre, and I was on my lunch break from work, and I was following this guy, and I thought,

man, you're drunk. And I went up to him, and I went, are you all right, dude? And he turned around and fell into my arms and had a massive stroke. And it was bloody frightening. But I managed to get his phone out of his pocket. Well, we called an ambulance and all that sort of stuff. And I said, who do you want me to ring?

And he pointed to his sister, which was great. So I got hold of her. She came down there in Queenstown. And it just happened that he happened to be a manager of a vineyard up in Queenstown. And so I got hold of his sister. And a week later, a box of wine came down. It was lovely.

But he had a massive stroke. And it was really sad in the end. Well, I'm glad you were there to help him out. Yeah, I know. Having someone fall in your arms and have a stroke is quite frightening. Well, I bet. Now listen, just when I lost faith in humanity,

you have warmed to the cockles of my cold, dead heart this morning. Well done everyone. Well done to all the heroes of saving people's lives. That's pretty awesome.