Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Dog's Should Never Eat Cakes!

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

We talk cake-tastrophes ahead of our attempt to cook every cake in the Women's Weekly book! Why is Ben wearing socks in bed? Who is having the best weekend! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Ben, after the show, I know you are a lover of lists. Yeah. One of New Zealand's finest list makers. Yeah, I do like lists. We call him Schindler's List. He writes a list about anything, but after the show, every day we write a list on a document of stuff that we need to do. And I've found myself, I'm catching the list bug. Right.

I'm found, you know, a list is generally stuff you have to do. Yeah. But I'm finding myself, once we've done a task, if it's not on the list, I then write it on the list and then cross it off the list. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of satisfaction in crossing it off the list and then cross it off oh yeah there's a lot of satisfaction in crossing it off a lot of satisfaction yeah

I also find too that it just keeps you it keeps stuff like there's a lot of stuff going on in everyone's brains so at least if you've got it written down it's not one of those things

you've got to remember to do that you know it's almost like easing up your brain just a little bit because you've got it down on a list

yeah I can see why you do it so yeah I mean even yesterday afternoon I'd done a whole lot of stuff but then i wrote it down and crossed it off just go hey it's done it's a sense of satisfaction you look back and go actually i achieved these things bloody producer joel you could do with a list or two you're not a list guy i am a list guy joel shinla harrison that's my middle name i haven't seen any yeah i do i do

actually write down um on a notebook do you know nothing makes Ben more nervous he's a list guy when you know we say to you hey can you do this this and this

and you're like no dramas I'm like do you want me to write it down on a list you're like no no no dramas

whenever I'm not delivered you're right the hits the Jono and Ben podcast who's having the best weekend

yeah the ultimate neighbours at war north. Who's having the best weekend? Yeah, the ultimate neighbours at war, North versus South. Two of the greatest islands in New Zealand. Apologies, Stuart. It's another great island, but these are the two big bangers. And as we do, we get Connor and Hayley on from the Hits in the South and the North. We're going to kick things off in the South. Now, Connor, let's say granted, both islands have football. That's a given. That's a given.

So that's already a win for both islands, but what are you going to come through with this morning, mate? Well, last night I had the pleasure of frequently frequenting a fantastic place known as the Gore RSA. You sound atrocious. How long were you at the Gore RSA for? I would rather not say. I got talking to Shirley, right? I got talking to Shirley.

Yeah, you did. And she was telling me all about the Hockanui Fashion Design Awards. Oh, okay. They're on today, tomorrow. Now, this is actually a big deal. So similar to the gold guitars thing, Gore once again is attracting talent from all around the country.

They all head to Gore and they show off their fantastic fashion design abilities. Avant-garde, your street wear, your this, your there. I'm not really a big fashion guy. And they've got the likes of people from Huffa and Stolen Girlfriend judging them. Tomorrow night's the big night

where everyone goes down in a big suit and has a few you-know-what. Yeah, so it's an awesome, awesome event. Yeah, good. I would have thought the Gore Fashion Awards was just people wandering down a catwalk in stubbies and a singlet with some gumboots. But there's more to it.

You'll definitely, I can guarantee there will definitely be one of those on the stage. Although it's winter, they might put on a swanny. Maybe. Maybe. Alright, so we've got that going on in Gore. What else have we got? Connor? Well, there'll finally be some snow for the likes of your Cantab ski

fields. Not so much for unfortunately Queenstown, Coronet, Gajona, whatnot. So, I know things are tight at the moment with money, but I would say if you're wanting to get some good skiing in, now's probably the time to head up Mount Harts or Roundhill

or any of those local ski fields in Canterbury. Here we go. Otherwise, you've always got the option later on this morning, your favourite Jono, Drew Yoga with Fiona in Nelson. Oh, Drew, she's back, is she? Friday morning yoga.

Yeah, every Friday. Downward Dogging in Nelson. There we go, Connor. I think Connor's actually on holiday. Oh, no, and he did that for us this morning. He'd been out in Gore last night. Gore, you chewed him up and spat him out, but he's still with us.

If you had a holiday, is your destination Gore? But hey, it is for Connor. It is for Connor. I love it. Hayley, we'll get Hayley on from Wellington. What's happening in the north, Hayley? Well, we're feeling good about this week. It is hard to follow, you know, from Fiona's yoga,

but following along the theme of the RSA, Walkworth has a good old-fashioned hoedown in the RSA. We're talking three-hour action-packed country music, line dancing, arm wrestling, which is kind of a bizarre addition to a hoedown. Three hours of hoedown at the G.U.I.S. I don't know how I'd go to line dance. Do we all need to go to practice to get into it?

Or can you pick it up? Well, I guess you could find it at Warworth. Lucky for you boys, my mum is a full-time line dancing teacher in Auckland. She will hook you up, okay? Is she actually? She is. That's her job. Wow. Do you line dance?

I had done it for a term and a half and I've never felt younger in my life. Alright, we've got line dancing on. What else is happening in the North, Hayley? Then we've also got Altair Square Ice Rink in Auckland CBD. It's not like the 90s though. It's not fast and loose

anymore. They recommend you wear a helmet and gloves for health and safety. Oh, it's a lot of fun that one though in the city, yeah. Yeah, and then we've got pro wrestling in Hastings tonight. So we're talking muscles, low-cut singlets, oiled-up men cuddling each other on the mat.

So it's always going to be a good night out. Yeah, we've done that before. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of grief. Well, they didn't tell us that we needed to oil ourselves up. No. That is an essential part of wrestling. Maybe that's where we went wrong.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you need to kind of slip between their fingers. Yeah, the problem is you're waterproof for the next three days once you've rubbed olive oil all over you. But Hayley, Connor, thank you. What are you going to lock in, Ben? Who's having the best weekend? I'm giving it to Connor because he got up on his holiday for us and he went to gore as well.

So, Connor, you take that one out. Well done, mate. Hooroo. Hooroo. Hooroo. Hooroo. Enjoy the fast fashion of gore. Oh, 800-THE-HITS-4487.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We've got a lot of MC work at the jonathan ben podcast we've got a mc uh a lot of mc work at the moment haven't we been geez we're getting uh pounding out the mc gigs but tomorrow i'm emceeing an old boy's luncheon ahead of saint peter's grandma first 15 game and they're like who's the oldest boy we can think of to mc this uh and i've got to interview rugby players now how do you think i'm going to go there oh yeah free-flowing banter i feel like yeah like things like how proud are you of the boys yeah that's a great question they'll be oh yeah proud of the boys yeah in terms of games how many at a time were you taking it i'll take it one game at a time yeah it's great stuff you're

leading them to great answers that yeah we'd love to hear well that'd be fun what are you doing this weekend mate? my wife's away she's visiting some friends so I'm with the kids I'm looking forward to it this weekend solo dating

one of my daughters really wants to she loves ice skating really wants to that's her thing and I don't mind going ice skating but I've been ice skating many times I've never felt comfortable like I've never had that moment

I'm like oh I'm okay yeah at any stage it feels like it could go horribly wrong for me. Well it did for Nancy Kerrigan. True, maybe that's why. Someone's going to come out in baseball with bad one kneecaps at any point. At any stage, that could

happen. Can't fully relax in this environment. Your kneecaps could be taken out. Let's get you on 0800 The Hits. What's happening this weekend? Why are you having the best weekend? Bailey, welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. How are you? Good.

Lovely to have you on. What's going on this weekend, Bailey? My rugby team's got a final on this weekend. Oh, awesome. Hit the finals, have we? Yes. What team are you part of, Bailey? Matamoror Under 12.

Oh, cute. And who are you taking on in the big grand final? Pukakohe. Pukakohe? Yes. Oh, they're a solid team, the Under 12s. And so what's your position, Bailey? I am a forward.

Oh, great. Now, as I mentioned, I'm emceeing some old boys rugby luncheon tomorrow. Can I ask you some rugby questions? Get some practice in. Is that okay? Okay. Yes. How proud of the team are you? Very proud.

Are you taking it one game at a time? Yes. Yeah, well, they've only got one more game to go. That's the final. Thanks for the interview. Well, good luck this weekend. We're going to send you out some hell pizza for you and your family. Thank you. Hey, great on you, Bailey.

Very cute. Let's get Dandy great on you, Bailey. Very cute. Let's get Dandy Lee on. Welcome, Dandy Lee. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Dandy Lee must be the most adorable name I've ever heard. Yeah.

No, thank you. You take that compliment, Dandy. What are you up to? Is it going to be fine and dandy this weekend? What's happening? It's always fine and dandy with me. What are you up to this weekend? I'm actually working.

I work in a dementia slash rest home, and I do night shift. And working the weekends is actually my favorite part. Why? Because I love the old people that I work with, really. I love my residents. And they just seem to be a lot more calmer and happier on the weekends. Oh, that is all good on you.

There's people out there doing selfless jobs, like looking after people with dementia, and you're one of them, Danny. Good on you. Thank you for all your hard work. We're going to send Dandy Lee here. I love that name. Some hell pizza.

Curtis, you're on. Best weekend. What's happening, baby? Curtis. Oh, hello. Sorry, I probably wetted you out when I said, what's happening, baby? Wetted me out too. But what's happening this weekend? We're going to

Dunedin to watch football. No, she's going to the Football Ferns game. No, Argentina South Africa. Oh, so great too. That'll be a good game as well. They're two big bangers. That's exciting. Where are you from?

Christchurch. Oh, doing the trip down the island. That's marvellous. It's great that people are driving around the country to go see football. Have you got a chant? Are you going to do some chanting? Yeah, maybe. Okay, what's your chant?

Here we go. I'm not sure. I thought that was going to be the answer. Hey, Curtis, will you do it? There's some time. It's a long drive. You can work it out. Maybe you could go, Argentina, cha-cha, cha-cha, cha.

Thank you very much. Argentina is a mad football nation, aren't they? Maradona from Argentina. And I was doing some reading about that. Do you know there's an actual church of Maradona? After the football park? He's a religion. Wow.

Yeah, he really blew out. He got into the bloody heavy stuff after his football career. But it's all part of the religion, mate. 180,000 people belong to that church. And the first, if you have a boy, you have to name him Diego. Yeah, must have been Dora's cousin. Part of the church. We're on a mission to make all 106 cakes

from the Australian Women's Weekly Birthday Cake Book. And I said I don't have much confidence that we can pull this off without people's help because we're getting a bunch of texts going, I'll help you out, guys. I'll help you out. Quite a lot of texts come through. But I wanted to know, are there enough bakers,

qualified bakers, listening to this program for us to pull this monumental feed off, Ben? And I said, the baker's dozen. It's an experiment, early morning experiment. Can we get 13 bakers on? Yeah, the baker's dozen. They always add an extra one to the dozen. Probably not now with the cost of living and supplies and stuff.

It's probably gone back to a dozen's dozen. But I just said, oh, one to the dozen. Probably not now with the cost of living and supplies and stuff. It's probably gone back to a dozens dozen. But I just said, oh, 800 of the hits. If we can get 13 bakers, we'll feel great going into this. You know how many bakers we've got? I know. That's why we're laughing. Yeah, I know. And I feel like you will probably gather by the fact that the two of us are just talking right now and no one else.

If I could coin a baking reference, the big donut. Zero. Zero bakers. And Ben, you said high risk, no reward. This is the no reward part. 0800 the hits. 13 bakers. Let's get going.

Now, can we just call? There's a number here, Joel. Give that number a call. This is Baker's Delight. Okay. Again, high risk. This is Baker's Delight. Okay. Again, high risk. This is shocking on a couple of levels. First level being, is anyone listening?

Second level, we're not going to have enough hands or experience to pull off this 106 cake marathon. Hi, good morning. Baker's Delight Dialogue. How may I help you? Oh, hello. It's John Owen Ben calling from the Hits radio station. You're on the radio.

Can you believe it? Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it either. It's radio. Not for everyone. Not for bakers.

Not for bakers. And that's clearly been displayed over the last five minutes. Maybe we're not a baker's show. Maybe that's the thing. So I don't know how we're going to make 106 cakes. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We'll be watching in a couple of weeks if we can make 106 cakes from that famous birthday cake book, Ben.

Although we hit a bit of a hurdle. Just half an hour ago, Faye phoned through. She's like, guys, haven't factored in the egg shortage. Yeah, I love that. Great point, Faye. Thank you for flagging that. Although someone did text as a solution, a quick fix could be, why don't you get the sponges?

They're already pre-made. You can just buy a sponge. And then you're still making the cakes. You're still putting them together, right? Yeah, my best. And then people wouldn't get annoyed that, you know, people already think we're big eggs, Ben they think we're even worse bigger eggs if we took 5 000 eggs and put them towards this novelty campaign exactly so yeah maybe pre-made

sponges are the way to the go the other thing i'm stressing about is i remember annie making me uh the cake my mom high she was like a race car in the red, putting this thing together. Now we need to times that stress by 106. Over what, a couple of days? A couple of days. You're like, well, you're right, my mum, when she'd make cakes, stress just one cake over it.

And then you'd come in and dip your grubby fingers into the bowl. What was this? Yeah. So I don't know. This is going to be the environment we're creating for ourselves. And if you want to help us out, if you want to join this fun environment, you can.

Text 4487 if you can give us a hand. Yeah, people are helping us out. Well, they've said they'll help us out. We need to lock in dates. We need to lock in a venue as well and see how long it'll take us to create all 106 cakes. You know, speaking speaking of what potential cake catastrophes, I remember

going to a wedding once and wedding cakes is always an interesting one. I know it's a wonderful tradition that we have but people aren't in the mood for cake that time of the wedding are they? Generally speaking. And then I about half an hour after the cake was cut just saw a piece of cake flying across

the room and I was like, here we go. Oh, it was a big cake fire. Turned into a fire. And the poor cake chef, the baker, probably spent 12 hours making that cake only for it to be thrown, used as a weapon at a wedding at 11 o'clock at night. I do remember going to another one.

Because you're right, not everyone is into cake. So this particular wedding, they've got this massive wheel of cheese was going to be their cake, like a cheesecake, like a huge. But also not everyone's into cheese as well. How expensive that would be too. And my mate, it had a few drinks at the time, didn't realize that that particular wheel of cheese was for the cake,

for the ceremony or they were going to cut the cake later. So after dinner, he just started helping himself with some cheese and crackers until the bridal party went over there and went oh we're going to cut the cake looks like someone's been eating it turn around and he's stuffing his face with some camembert cheese crackers in defense of your mate uh it's not often you've been to a wedding you're going oh this is a big this is a big cheesecake that they're going to cut yeah yeah but but hey yeah you right. But that was a cake-tastrophe on that particular occasion. Okay, 0800, the Hits telephone number. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

It's cake-tastrophe potential on the horizon. Speaking of cake-tastrophe, I remember Jen, my wife's dog, Henry, ate an entire Christmas cake. Oh. One session. Christmas cake too. Big squirt. Oh.

It's like cement sprinkled with fruit. Aren't they? The only thing is that it seems to be able to survive are like cockroaches and Christmas cake through many, many years, right? He was honestly paralyzed on his back, legs in the air for four days. And all that emerged was one giant fruitcake looking exactly the same as when it went in. But let's go to the phones this morning. 0800 the hits. So we're talking cake-tastrophes. Phoebe, good morning

Hello. How are you? Good, how are you guys? We're doing well this morning Caketastrophes, what happened? I worked at a restaurant and there was a beautiful cake in the back and I thought it was for like a certain table, so I took it out and I reached a place we had seen like happy birthday people for their birthday so we took the cake out and we sung happy birthday to you know a group of people and then I realized they're like looking at me really really funny and then I realized it was the wrong table and the table that had the birthday cake were actually behind me

and they would have been going whoever bought the cake would have been going, she's about to get my cake. Oh no, no, no. They were making like, I could just see like the mum just like staring at me with the eyes and stuff, you know. She's about to get my cake to a complete stranger. I know, I know. Yeah, it was not great. And so did they point out that it wasn't their birthday? Yes, they did. They were really uncomfortable.

Yeah. Ben, was it you did that to me? We went out to dinner and someone did that to me. That was my birthday. Oh, we did. Yeah, we went through a phase for that while. Someone would just go quietly to someone at the restaurant and go, it's such and such's birthday tonight. And they'd either bring over a little bit of cake or something special and then the person would be like, it's not my birthday.

And then start the happy birthday with stuff. But once you're in deep, everyone gets involved. It was a fun little game. Oh, that's funny, Phoebe. Thank you very much for your call. No, it's okay. Have a good day. You too. that's funny, Phoebe. Thank you very much for your call. No, it's okay. Have a good day. You too.

Let's get Melissa on the phone. 0800, that hits the telephone number. Catastrophe, Melissa, what happened? So this is going back about over 20 years now. My mum spent an entire day making my sister, who was Blue's Clues mad, a three-dimensional Blue's Clues cake. Oh, okay. And we went to my grandparents' for dinner,

and the dogs got on the bench and ate it, and we came home to blue vomit and blue vomit all through the house and no cake. My mum was furious. Oh, well, it depends on the dogs. I mean, Blue's Clues, Blue was a dog, wasn't it? This is the cake for me. Yeah.

Oh, no, a blue, and I imagine it was blue for days. Oh, it was blue for days and it was bright blue. Yeah, that is brilliant, Melissa. Thank you. Karen, welcome. Cake-tastrophe. What happened? It was my husband's birthday and it was a tradition to take a cake into his workshop.

And I needed, I was melting the butter. I needed more butter, so I went downstairs to the freezer and the garage and got distracted because I noticed the freezer had defrosted. I was cleaning out the freezer, and the next thing I heard, the smoke alarm, and my kitchen was on fire. Oh. What happened?

Did it burn down? No, the house didn't burn down, but the kitchen did. Oh, jeez. So instead of a happy birthday call, I was calling him at work, the house didn't burn down, but the kitchen did. Oh, jeez. So instead of a happy birthday call, I was calling him at work saying the house was on fire. You can blow out the candles, but they're quite big candles, and you might want to come right now. Wow. Oh, Karen, thanks for your call. We'll give you some hell pizza, okay, so you don't have to do anything in the kitchen.

Oh, thank you. That'd be great. Not that I was saying, because her name name's Karen She should be in a kitchen Oh jeez Just because She burnt down Take that sexism out of here mate The hits

The Jono and Ben podcast Now As a kid As a teenager Annoying teenager I remember used to giving my dad A bit of grief about He was

He was going for a stage Where he would wear Two socks Two pairs of socks And then Sometimes when it was cold He'd put on a third pair. Wow, weird.

And what, with shoes over the top? With shoes. Now, it weren't very thick socks. Sometimes I'd just get a thicker pair of socks, but he would wear two socks. Triple-layered socks and also increasing your washing three times. Yeah. And sometimes I'd be like, oh, why are you wearing your socks? Oh, you don't have any socks you've got on today?

That sort of thing. But now, I regret it all because we went to Queenstown a couple of weeks ago, packed some colder gear because it was cold down there. And I got into the habit of wearing warm socks. And, jeez, I loved it. I loved it. Have your socks not been warm up until this point? No, thicker socks.

You know, thicker socks. Just, you know. And now I'm like, well, hey. The sort of socks you'd find in a bin at Bunnings. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. And I've come back to warmer weather and I've gone, you know what? I'll continue to wear the warmer socks.

And it got to the point the other night where I was like, well, you know, I'm going to bed, but hey, maybe I'll leave the socks on. Oh, Jesus. You know you've reached peak adult when you're wearing socks to bed. And I know it gets a lot of grief, but I liked it. I didn't tell anyone. I don't think my wife even knew about it, but I was like, hey. You're only one step away from going to bed with shoes on.

At least with no socks on, there's two steps to shoes. What does Amanda say? Well, she doesn't know as of yet. I road tested it once, and I was like, hey. If they accidentally rub against their leg or something, she'd be like, what? What's this furry thing? It's a risk I'm prepared to take because my feet were toasty warm all night and I loved it.

It's like wearing a skivvy to the beach. Wrong location. Well, is it? Your feet, well, you've already got a coverage of the sheet, the blanket. That's doing the job of the socks. That's some extra stuff. I mean, it's like you're putting clothes on, most people. Not everyone, but a lot of people are

Well going by that theory Then you should also wear a hat to bed If your head's cold Well hey Maybe I'll do that next week As well We put that on The Hits Breakfast Facebook as well

Yeah Is it weird to wear You know Ben has started sleeping in socks First comment Just sleep in a bed Ben Don't sleep in socks That one I enjoyed

That one Joe Harrison enjoyed that one Producer Joe He liked that one Yeah There's a lot of people saying Just sleep in a bed, Ben. Don't sleep in socks. That one I enjoyed. That one. Joe Harrison enjoyed that one. Producer Joe was all, he liked that one. Yeah, there's a lot of people saying it's quite weird. A bit of an ick for a lot of people. Yeah, I get it. But it's the most protection he's worn in bed for a while.

Yeah, although some people do it. There are some people that will roll with some socks at night and unashamedly. I feel like just if you're going to do do it what's there to be ashamed about lynette can't sleep without socks all all year round in summer all year round as well if it's cold enough adele says put some socks on who cares yeah i'm like the tires turn if the further you go down the comments the people that the socks the sock people are socking it to them. So there you go. Yeah, well, like you said, I think someone

said, who cares? And you're right. It doesn't affect anyone else apart from you and your wife. And this is a marital issue that you guys can work through with

a therapist. Maybe go on couples therapy. 4487. We'll keep it continuing on the Hits Breakfast text as well this morning.

Are you wearing sleeping bags for your feet and bed? Yeah. Yeah.