Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - SHOW HIGHLIGHTS: J-J-J-J-Jonooo & Ben's Flashback Friday!

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

- Joint Work Card Dilemmas!- Flashback Friday - Gerard Roofing- Adam Krueger Weather- Restaurant disasters!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora, the John and Ben potty. Thanks to Dilmar making the world a better tea. Do try it. Today, a really fun podcast for you to enjoy. A real snackable little podcast for you. We gave a weather presenter over in the USA a bit of a challenge. We tracked him down. He's really awesome. He does song lyrics, movie quotes, TV quotes in amongst his weather bulletins.

We gave him a Kiwi challenge to do Lorde. How did he go? Yeah, was he successful? Well, you'll hear the outcome of that. Adam Kruger, his name. Adam Freddy Kruger, we call him. We also lock him up to his face. I don't think no one's ever said that to him,

but just on podcast intros. Okay, yeah. Flashback Friday as well involves a Kiwi legend and an iconic jingle from yesteryear. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chera. a Kiwi legend and an iconic jingle from yesteryear. There's John Rawls singing a commercial about roofs and as we played that, someone did text in saying, dear God,

I was in primary school when that ad came out. My name is Jared and it was pure torment. Jared. Also on the podcast, what happened to Jono's mate? It was a real blowout in a restaurant. And podcast what happened to Jono's mate it was a real blowout in a restaurant and then what happened to

oh this call's so good where the lady thought there was going to be a sort of a sexy date at home and it wasn't quite what she anticipated that's on the podcast

as well as what we're having to do for a work thing today signing the work card the joint work card we're making it sound like a chore that's not the chore oh no no it's actually quite how we've messed work card. We're making it sound like a chore.

That's not the chore. Oh, no, no. It's actually quite. How we've messed it up. Yes, we've messed it up in a bad way. I actually do remember, just quickly before we get to the podcast, remember one of our old bosses when two people were leaving on the same day and then she made a speech and she went quite into detail about one.

Well, we've got to give the backstory. She liked one a lot better than she liked the other. And one had a better output, better productivity than the other one. One got quite a big speech and then went the other one. It was just like, oh, so many emails. We've sent some great emails. That's all she could find to pluck out. And you know when you're being thanked for all the emails that you've sent

that things have not gone well. Enjoy the podcast. Have a great weekend. The Hits, the well. Enjoy the podcast. Have a great weekend. Yeah, we flashback, don't we? We look back and we mock yesteryear's attempts at advertising and popcorn. We call it reflecting, but you know, there's an undercurrent of mockery.

Oh, I love it. I love looking back. I mean, I look back at anything we've done, even looking back at what we did last week. Things, times have changed. Things have moved on. Yeah. You could cancel us from what we just did last week. Yeah.

But in 20 years time, they'll be mocking us for what we're doing now too. So it's just a, it's the life cycle of creating content, isn't it? Today, a commercial. Now, I vaguely remember this. It might have been just a little bit before my commercial intake period in life. But John Rawls, renowned New Zealand entertainer. Oh, we got this song, this classic song for John Rawls. What a voice. Tell you what, he crooned the pants off you.

Yeah. And he did mine. Malte, you did something with John Rawls. That's right. We did a skit with him back in the day. When everyone was saying, that's how I roll, everyone was like, yeah, that's how I roll. Well, we did a little skit where he was basically going along

and screwing up everything. We were complaining. He was like, hey, that's how John rolls. That was the thing. And he loved it. He picked up that and he would use it for everything. That's how John came to catch for it. But didn't you do like, that's how John rolls. That was the thing. And he loved it. He picked up that and he would use it for everything. That's how John rolls. It came as a catchphrase.

But didn't you do like, that's how John rolls. Lawn bowls with John rolls. Yeah, we're like, hey, we're going to do this lawn bowls thing. Can we do lawn bowls with John rolls? And he was like, yeah, came along. Yeah, that's how John rolls. Yeah, came along and did lawn bowls with John rolls. So you're a very distinguished career, John rolls.

But he also was the face of Gerard Roofs so John was like well I'll sing you a jingle and so this is set early 90s John Rolls in a driveway high camera shot he's got a shirt on he's refused to do any buttons up

apart up from his belly button a lot of chest showing. Lovely little mullets all sort of going on at the back as well. Just very stylish and this was the iconic jingle. Go for Gerard Go for Gerard

and your roof is looking good Natural colours and the unique Gerard look Go for Gerard Go for Gerard and your roof is looking good. And go for the Gerard Mediterranean look. Go for Gerard.

Go for Gerard and your roof is looking good. Iconic, iconic. Do you reckon when he was recording it, he malfunctioned and had a stutter? And they're like, well, I guess that's the take we're rolling with. What I love too is they're like, go for the Mediterranean look. The Mediterranean look. It's just roof tiles spray painted red. That's what they do overseas, mate.

It's very classy. Hey, mate. Come back from the Mediterranean and I'll tell you what they love over there. Mate, red roofs, mate. It's the future. The Mediterranean. Copper looking thing, mate. Classy, you know. Bit of sophistication. Mate, red roofs, mate. It's the future. The Mediterranean. Copper-looking thing, mate. Classy, you know.

Bit of sophistication. I love the fact that they can have a bash too. Copper. J-J-J-J-J-J-J. So I thought maybe from this day forward, when anyone calls up or says my name, Jono. I'm not going to say that every time I go Jono and Ben. I don't know. They ended up with seven J-J-J-J-J's. That's a lot.

It did, but very iconic. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Adam Kruger is a weather presenter in Houston. You can follow him at Weatherman Adam on TikTok, on Instagram. He's very, very funny. He tries to insert song lyrics. He sneaks song lyrics, sometimes movie quotes and TV quotes,

into his weather bulletins in the morning in Houston, like Eminem. Two areas of fog going around the outside of Houston. So if your commute takes you around the outside or around the outside, you're going to encounter some of those lower visibilities. One last dry day, but guess who's back? Back again. Rain is back. Tell a friend.

He's very good. We spoke to him yesterday, and he found out he does them over the course of a morning. 25 bulletins or something he does. Well, the show is news, traffic, weather. That's all it. Non-stop. And that's on repeat.

News, traffic, weather. Once they've done that, they go back to news, traffic, and weather. And he's just chowing through 25 weather updates over four hours, which seems like the weather wouldn't change, I wouldn't imagine, too much from one bulletin to the other. No, but he's got to get the weather out there. And we gave him a bit of a Kiwi challenge. We're like, hey, can you do Lord Royals, a great Kiwi song.

But when you look at some of the lyrics, I mean, tricky, tricky. I mean, there's like, no postcode envy. No postcode envy. Jet planes and islands. Jet planes, islands, tricky. I mean, there's like No Postcode Envy. No Postcode Envy. Jetplanes and Islands. Jetplanes, islands, tigers on a gold leash. That Kind of Luxe Just Ain't For Us. That Kind of Luxe Just Ain't For Us. Tricky lyrics to try and insert into a weather, right?

When you're playing back like that, she just grabbed things and put them together beautifully in a song, didn't she, Lorde? It's a great song, but how would Adam go on Houston? This is live on TV in America. We influence this. How would he go trying to get Lorde into the bulletin? Jono and Ben right here had me on their show in New Zealand to talk about my viral videos, and their request, Royals by Lorde.

She's from New Zealand. That seems like it should be doable. Gold teeth, grey goose, tripping in the bathroom Blood stains, ball gowns, trash in the hotel room Maybe not those lyrics, but I've got some in mind. Challenge accepted. So our Houston area commuters are seeing dry roads. Farther north, though, no postcode envy. You can see pretty widespread showers. On the way to Hobby Airport, that's where I'll be heading in a couple hours. Dead plains and islands in your future.

Remember going back about four days, we had a completely sunny sky. That kind of lux just ain't for us as we go through the next seven days the water's a little bluer the sky's a little bit bluer ah let me live that fantasy just for a moment here's where the weather is fit for royals meanwhile back here here at cw39 my friends and i we cracked the code bringing you no weight weather and traffic all morning long and everyone who knows us knows that just a little light rain can cause some slowdowns. Hey, he did really well. We got like about six different Lord lyrics across his weather over morning. So that's pretty incredible.

And hopefully we secure Lord some royalties for that. Royalties. Royalties. Well done. Well done, Adam. That's incredible. We only spoke to him yesterday. Prolific.

And it was on air. Mate, I didn't think he was going to pull through to be honest. No, it's awesome. You can check out the video. We've shared it on the Hits Breakfast on Instagram. It's on TikTok. It's on Facebook as well. So you can check it out right now. And thanks very much to Adam Kruger. Yeah, what a legend. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast.

Don't forget to highlight savings. Fall back. Fall back. Spring forward. Fall back. So the clock's going back. We worked it out. You must apologise to Harry who's in the office too. Must they like saving? Saving, yeah. Don't you pluralise it? Oh yeah, so one of those things that people get annoyed with.

My dad, every time I'm going, I'm going down to the thing and he's like, it's up, it's up, geographically it's up. I'm like, oh okay. Well you know how when people call it the ASB Bank Bank, or the TSB Bank Bank. Yeah, that does annoy me, so you're right, yeah. Because the B's already... That's right, it's the Auckland Savings Bank back. Now, sad day at the

hits today. Emily, our boss, she's leaving. I'm a chow yam for the music. It's sad though. She's leaving. You know why she's

leaving? Because she's sick of your crap, mate. What? Mine. She's had enough of Ben's. Enough of his

diva-ish demands More difficult to manage than Meghan Markle Makes Markle look like Mother Teresa, Ben Boyce But yeah, no, she's heading to Christchurch New chapter Yeah, mainly because there's a whole other island away from Ben And his demands It's all me, it's all my fault, is it?

But we noticed something with Because, you know, giant leaving cards They're a standard in any office spoiler alert Emily, if you're listening you're getting a big leaving card, a giant leaving card and it goes around the office as it do and then people from the team sign it, but when the card is

first out in the market and it's being handed around, everyone I notice is signing very small font round the border. Okay? Up in the corners, right? Because you don't know, when you're one of the first to get it,

you don't know how many people are going to sign the card. And you also, I don't know, I lack the confidence to be right there in the middle. You're not front and centre. You don't want to be there. And it's a big dog move, isn't it, when you're signing the leaving card, to you to just take that prime middle real estate. But what I fear we've done, because when I saw the card, it looked like it was nearing the end of its signing journey.

I feel like we've just created a border of messages, leaving a giant blank canvas in the middle. A blank space that Taylor Swift would sign her name on, but no one else would be gutsy enough to. I had that happen before I got a leaving card. The same thing, a border thing around the outside and nothing in the middle because no one took the took the step so now what it's going to take is for someone to swoop in the last minute and just write in size 24 font handwritten goodbye you know just to cover up that area because

my suggestion is with the giant novelty leaving card let's have a grid system you know little grids you know you can dot them around the grids there's no sort of you don't get uh fear or anxiety about filling up the middle space take a grid take a spot on the grid that's a great idea although maybe we shouldn't be listening to you on leaving uh leaving things i remember that time you gave the speech at the rock it was actually lovely it was lovely but everyone thought because years of you probably not showing your real self like here are the hits just prank the being the prank guy the guy and you got to do a speech someone was leaving you were upset about and you cried i did straight away which is lovely i'm not knocking you for

that it was lovely you were showing you but everyone thought you were doing it as a joke they were like oh is he is he yeah and then i and then I had to go and hide in Studio B. Because you didn't say anything. I was just like, huh? And everyone was like, oh, this is a weird start. You know when you're crying so hard and you're sobbing and you can't actually get words out? He's a prankster.

He's going to come around and go, nah. But he didn't. He didn't. And everyone was like, he ran off to the studio. That was the speech. You were like, oh, that was unusual. And then I was in the Studio B and someone came in and was like, you're ran off to the studio that was the speech you were like oh that was unusual and then I was in the studio being there

someone came in and was like you know you're at the rock radio station and they're like you alright mate you know no you

oh terrible terrible it wasn't terrible I mean no that's true you know like it's nothing to be ashamed about

we just thought it was a joke do you remember our friend departed our friend departed? Our friend Andy left our team when we were doing the TV show, and you'd been working with him for a number of years. There were tears in his departure.

He left for a week, and then he announced he was coming back. And everyone's like, we cried. Mate, we cried. You can't come back now. You cried. We'll take you back, but we can't. We can't take those tears back. The Hits, the Jono jonathan ben podcast i had a

message from my friend who'd like to catch up this weekend to go out for a meal now i'm a bit nervous because everyone's got that one friend who is the spicy friend you know they love hot spicy chili you've got uh chris mack from 660 yeah he loves hot food doesn't he yeah and like he'll order things so wildly I was like you surely aren't enjoying that he's been dripping in sweat I'm like you're not enjoying it but he'll be like no it's great it's so good

I'm like what part of you is enjoying that right now but I think it's almost like a badge of honour I love it but I'm just like mate just enjoy the meal. If you like a little bit of spice, that's fine. Yeah, but he's travelled the world. You know, the sort of guy who would eat a mystery roadside meat on a stick on Bangkok.

Right, yeah. Adventurous, yeah. No questions asked. Like, he cooked me, he's like, have you ever tried, I don't want to put him on Aussie Yates end. I like it. I'll continue to do it. Have you ever tried blue steak? And I'm like, what is blue steak? He's like, you know, medium rare

it's one below that and I'm like, blue is just basically you put the steak on the pan. Oh, so you got me rare, rare and then below that. Below that is blue it's like, and then on both sides. I may as well got me rear rear and then below that. Below that it was blue. It was like and then on both sides. I may as well have

walked into a paddock and started biting a cow. And that was my last thing. And I had to kind of fight my way through this rare bit of steak. And so tomorrow night he's like,

we're going to go we're going to go Indian. And my fear is because I've heard a horrific story from a friend who went to an Indian meal with him. He took it upon himself to order for the whole table too. But he's a spicy guy.

Yeah, exactly. And he's gone to the waiter, I want hot, hot. And then the waiter's going, hot, hot? He's like, don't give me European hot. I want hot, hot. And then the waiter's kind of looking around the table. He's like Hot hot Kind of giving the look

Of the He can see the fear In the eyes of the other diners And he can tell Their bodies aren't made for it But he's like Okay Hot hot it is

My friend ended up In the disappearing He had to go And compose himself In the restroom Oh so this is not The spicy friend This is the other friend

The other friend Who was coming along Just as a guest Who tried the hot hot And then he got a Knock on the thing And it's the poor waiter Like having to check on him Oh, so this is not the spicy friend. This is the other friend. The other friend who was coming along just as a guest. You tried the hot and hot. And then he got a knock on the thing and it's the poor waiter like having to check on him. Like, are you all right in there? Oh my goodness.

Probably just for the fact that he hasn't overdosed anyone on spices, I imagine. But this is what we want to open up this morning. 0800 the hits 4487. Did you have to be rescued from the restaurant? What's happened to the restaurant? Restaurant rescues. Oh, I'd love to get your calls and texts on this morning.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. When have you been rescued from the restaurant? That's what we want to know. I remember once going out with someone similar to, you were talking about before, a guy who likes spicy food. Spicy person, yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, I can handle spicy food. And I can't.

I don't know why I did. And I thought I was going to die. Like I ate the first thing and I went, couldn't breathe know why I did and I thought I was going to die like I ate the first thing and I went couldn't breathe and I stood up in the restaurant busy restaurant

and I slammed my hands down on the table all the plates and that rattled and everyone just went like that and then whatever it was went away and then I just had to

sheepishly sit back down I'm fine I'm fine thanks guys but I thought in that instant I was that second I was going to die that's when you've got to continue on the pantomime. I should have kept

going. You call this service? Go James Corden on it. I should have, but I just looked like a real loser that stood up and sat back down. Oh, 800 the telephone number. When you had to be rescued from the restaurant, Claire, what happened?

So I got home from work and my boyfriend and I were planning on hanging out that night. So I got home from work and my boyfriend and I were planning on hanging out that night. So I got home from work and there was a note like stuck to my front door and it was a poem and it said, I don't remember the whole poem, but basically at the end it said, don't be late um where it was basically about wearing something you know naughty or like oh okay i was like oh okay and so i thought we were just hanging out at his house and so i turned up with um just a coat on just a trench coat on. Oh, so nothing under there. Okay. Very minimal underneath. So I turned up with just that on thinking we were just going to hang out at his place and I was just trying to spice it up and blah, blah, blah. And then

he was sort of looking at me a bit shocked and then kind of had like a worried look on his face or a concerned look and I was like okay, that wasn't really the reaction I was hoping for. And then he said he'd booked us a table for dinner at an Italian restaurant, a really nice Italian restaurant, and that the taxi was on its way. Oh, no. And the taxi turned up like a couple of minutes later and I was like, oh, my goodness, I need to go home and get changed.

He was like, there's no time. We've got to go for dinner. Oh, there is time. There's always time. And I imagine you feel quite vulnerable in that situation. Yeah, just a little bit, you know. Yeah, I sort of assumed that we were going to be just hanging out at home. You should never assume.

And I kind of took his poem literally, and he was like, no, I just needed it to rhyme. Like, I didn't eat. Particularly you feel vulnerable if you're at the restaurant, they'll be like, can I take your coat? You'll be like, oh. Yeah, that's right. His poem said, come around at 7.30, wear something dirty or something like that.

I couldn't rhyme really. And I took that literally, yeah. I'm just going to go on Rhyme Zone and see what other words he could have rhymed with 30 apart from dirty. Flirty, a bit of flirty. Yeah, any other word. This would have been appropriate. Come around at 7.30, make sure you're wearing a shirtie. Yeah.

And pants or a skirt or whatever you want to wear. A shirtie and a skirtie. Oh, good on you, mate. That's a very funny story, Cleo. Really appreciate it. Thank you.