Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Joe Daymond Has Been Hanging With Dave Chappelle!

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Our mascot hunt is on! Ben's wife can't remember movies... Joe Daymond! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Now, my wife, it's a frustrating thing in my relationship. I find it very frustrating. My wife is not very good at remembering movies that she's watched. Well, to be fair to Amanda, you've got one genre of movie. It's Dwayne the Rock Johnson. How could you not remember watching?

Once you've watched everything from bloody Tooth Fairy to Skyscraper they all start to blend into one I've watched a lot of movies I don't just watch just Dwayne the Rock Johnson I mean great love him but I don't just watch that but she doesn't she doesn't remember that and when the past we've often talked about you have decided on a movie we want to watch. And midway through, she's gone, oh, I've seen this. I'm like, oh, my goodness. We've just, it's taken half a movie for you to realize. So now I try not to make that happen again. We talk in depth about the movie before we put it on.

And she must, I mean, she's been swept up like New Zealand in Jason Momoa madness. We went to the premiere the other night. He was there, Jason Momoa. And she came home. She's like, we need to see Aquaman. And I'm like, we've seen it. She's like, no we haven't. I'm like, oh yes. The hot guy, the water.

Yeah, we've seen it. I'm pretty sure you remember Aquaman. Surely you remember Aquaman. No, I haven't seen it. The kids even going, yeah, we've seen it. We've all sat around watching Aquaman. And I'm like, yeah. Tim Morrison's the dad, trying to give her these points that she's got to go, oh, Nicole Kidman's the mom. She sadly passes away. And I'm like, yeah. Tim Morrison's the dad, trying to give her these points that she's got to like go, oh, Nicole Kidman's the mom.

She sadly passes away. And then they go to the water, under the sea, becomes like the lander, she becomes a thing. And she's like, oh, well, thanks for ruining the movie. Well, you've pretty much,

you have explained the whole storyline there. Yeah. It feels like Nicole Kidman, that might've been a big spoiler. All right, sorry. Apologies. I upset my wife and probably other people on the text machine. But I'm like, well, you've seen it.

I'm not spoiling a movie you've already seen because you've already seen it. And so did you end up sitting down and watching it? No, we didn't. But I got in trouble because I spoiled the movie that she wanted to watch, but she's already seen. To be fair, though, there's a lot of movies out there. Yes, there are. You forget what we're –

Oh, okay. I know you're taking her side. No. No. I'm agreeing with you. I'm like, forget what you're you're okay i know you're taking her side no i'm agreeing with you i'm like yeah you're right your movie going experience is just abysmal on both sides of your life your wife has forgotten what movie she's seen you take me to the movies i'm asleep within 18 minutes like an old man at a rhyme and i thought it'd be quite a good thing to do every time i take you in a movie and you fall asleep okay um then we on the radio the next day we get people who have seen the movie to call up and fill you in on the chunk the the 30 to 40 minute chunk that you're falling asleep at

and then afterwards you're like oh I don't understand this thing but of course you don't understand because you slept for 40 minutes what do these people do anyway I'm like mate they just explained it they had a whole scene. Well, the movie industry as a whole should make the environment less sleeping. Leave the lights on or something. You sleep in your car. You sleep in a play. You sleep anywhere.

Crank the air con down to 15. Leave the lights on. Then I might be able to sit through. Put a microphone in front of you is the only way it'd stop you sleeping. Everything else you fall asleep through. Maybe I could do live commentary of the movie as we go, just to keep myself awake. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

He's our guest in the studio. He's got a series you can watch right now. It's called Bounces. You can watch it on Neon, and it's available on Comedy Central around the world. And he's just been touring with Dave Chappelle in the States, Joe Damon. What's up, boys?

Nice to see you, man. You've just come off a flight. Yeah, just got in like an hour and a half ago. It's good to be here, though. It's always so good seeing you, boss. It's nice to see you too. It's lovely to see you. You're fresh off a huge comedy tour of the States.

Yeah, yeah. So I went over and went on a tour of the, I joined a comedian by the name of Noel Miller for the West Coast. And so we were doing like two three thousand seat theaters and i did like 12 of those dates so and he's an idol of yours yeah yeah and i really and i've looked up to the dude for a long time like i used to listen to his podcast so it was just a very surreal moment and and then you were like performing for other legends as well like bill

burr as well and then hanging out with dave chappelle and sand it was the craziest time i'm really lucky I've got like a good team in the US so it's so cool to come back home and be able to like share how crazy it is

with everyone tell us stories of the outside world the far far away land so you're hanging out with Dave Chappelle is he giving you advice he's like the goat

he's the greatest the funniest thing was it was so funny seeing how he like prepares for a show. Pretty much what they do is they have this JBL speaker. And what I got told is he takes one to every gig, but then will leave it for the staff or the comedian. So he'll buy a new one every time he's prepared.

Oh, right. Like he's giving speakers, portable speakers? Yeah, bro. He's just buying a new one every day. And they'll just pump music. He was playing his music so loud. The gig is still going on downstairs. I went downstairs for a little bit.

You can hear the music, but no one's going to come upstairs and tell him, bro, turn the music down. And you just mentioned, you know, you were cleaning caravans.

Yeah, bro. How long ago was that? That was 2018. So not long ago, really? not that long ago. Cause this was the crazy thing was,

um, I always think about it because Jono will message me every now and then. And the craziest thing for me because I met you boys when I was like 21. Yeah. And that was the most surreal moment, even just meeting you guys, let alone being able to work on the show, which I don't think many people actually know that.

You did work on the show. We worked together. Oh, and we could tell back then that you were destined for much bigger things than us. No, no. No, you had your drive and talent and all that sort of stuff, which was awesome to see. Appreciate it, brother. I think one of the coolest things I remember was I remember I was very vocally ambitious.

And you guys never made me feel like that was a bad thing. I'd never experienced that leading up to that point. It was beautiful to see a young person backing themselves mate. Joe Damon, we're so proud of you mate, we really are. Now, you've got a brand new show playing on Comedy Central as well. You can see it on Neon here in New Zealand it's called Bounces. Bounces, yeah

starring myself Dre Skriller, Nidalee Sami Valeria Mendoza and the amazing Kieran O'Leary as well as a little guest starring in one episode from the current

UFC middleweight champ Israel Adesanya yeah the goat so the show is it about for documents the life of

nightclub bouncers yeah pretty much and then there was just this one episode where we get a gig like being personal bodyguards for Izzy

because you know is he a good actor bro he did really well and his all of israel's lines are improvised he's just making them up wow so the the show where did you get the inspiration from like be kicked out of clubs or what's happened my first job was in security right yeah in wellies i was working for a red badge because my sister was the manager at westpac Stadium. So she managed the hospitality section. So you were the security guard at Westpac Stadium. Bro, so I was on the field. So are you one of those people that had to watch the crowd the whole time with the game?

Yeah. Oh, so you were facing the crowd. Yeah, so I was supposed to face the crowd. I always thought they should have a headband with a rear view mirror. What does that mean? You had to check on the kids in the back of the car sort of thing so you could watch the crowd but also see the game behind you that's what I'm saying

give me something I don't know if you yeah it's just the funniest job because you just hear like all this amazing stuff and you're quite literally behind you it's like hey bro Justin Bieber's right there bro

hey catch Bouncers right now on Neon you can see it on Comedy Central right around the world we'll have to see you again Joe appreciate it boss it's Joe Damon the keyboard comedian as I said you can catch Bouncers right now on Neon. You can see it on Comedy Central right around the world. We'll have to see you again, Joe. Appreciate it, boss. It's Joe Damon,

the keyboard comedian. As I said, you can catch Bounces right now on Neon and on Comedy Central. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Exactly. Hey, now I think I've made a really fatal mistake.

So over the weekend, I was gathering some old clothing to put into, you know, Salvation Army bins, you know, the clothing bins around the place. Yeah.

And I'm like you. When I'm in clean-up mode, get out of my way. Swooping everything up. Do you need this? Nah, cool. Gone. It's gone. Swooping everything up in a frenzy.

Last night, Jen's like, have you seen my black top? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Now I've gone, have I seen my black top? Uh oh Now I've gone Have I seen the black top? Now outwardly I'm performing like No, no, I don't know where it is It must be in the wash cycle That's what I'm saying out loud

In your defence probably you haven't seen the top No In some ways Thank you That's a great excuse If this ever eventuates or blows up That's a great one That's a technicality But But this ever eventuates or blows up, that's a great one. That's a technicality.

But did you swoop it all up in your mad panic is the big question. The thing is, I'm starting to think I might have. Now, I didn't want to come forth with this information. I don't want to cause any unnecessary trauma because I'm not 100% sure it was me. So you don't want to fan the flames before, you know. It might just miraculously turn up. There's a good chance it could turn up, but there is an even better chance that you put it in a clothing bin.

Yeah. I was seriously considering this morning. I was like, do I swing by the clothing bin and do one of those climb-in missions? You know how you see people on police video? They're like, look. Yeah, they get stuck in there, don't they? Yeah. I think they can come out. I don't even know how they get people on police video? They're like... Yeah, they get stuck in there, don't they? Yeah.

I think they can come out. I don't even know how they get in. How do they get in the first place? No, because the... Yeah, you're right. The little door latch thing is... I don't... Yeah.

That's the New Zealand Cirque du Soleil right there. How they contortion themselves into a clothing bin. It's okay. Anyway, I was thinking that could be an option. Or I just wander around the streets. If I see anyone in the top, just say, hey, man, can you take your top off? Okay. Is that an option?

Because I know you've gotten in trouble for throwing stuff out in the past, haven't you? Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. You like to put stuff in piles and then hide it away in a cupboard. Yeah. And put stuff out in the burn, put stuff in the clothing, but I love to get rid of stuff. Elderly family members, all sorts, I'll get rid of it. You know, you name it, I'll get rid of it.

You're old and dusty, taking up a seat. Something about the clearing that thing gives me a lot of, you know, if it's not being used, if it's been used, great. But if it's not, there's maybe some other people that can use this stuff. He's now bought a refill pad, haven't you? You bought a refill pad where you write to-do lists, and it's just the writings of a madman. Just pages and pages of to-do lists, lines through tasks, ticking things off.

Yeah, I know. I've gotten to that. It's a Spider-Man one. It's a Spider-Man notebook, so it looks like fun enough from the outside, but inside it's all business. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Currently, we are still looking for a Hits mascot. We're going to talk to a couple of our favourite entries so far.

You can sketch one. You can draw one for us at thehits.co.nz and win $500. Yeah, there's some great ones coming through right now. You could see them on the catwalks of Milan, some of these designs, couldn't you? I could see some malnourished bulimic models wearing these outfits. So 8 o'clock this morning, we're going to talk to our favourite three. We're going to have a winner tomorrow.

An absolute winner. So you've got your last chance. Head to thatstockco.nz and show us your creative design. Win $500 cash. Sometimes mascots, though, they can scar you, can't they? Particularly in your childhood.

Yeah. A lot of people are scared of clowns you know like clowns so i imagine you know the make it click ads and going to roma mcdonald's would have been quite a scary thing for people uh santa the official mascot of christmas uh i remember taking i'm sure this is a copy and paste story for many families taking the kids along for you know their first few years on this earth to Santa. And there's a lot to download. You know, you're like, what is this weird grotto? This guy's just saying ho, ho, ho on repeat.

You're like, oh, yeah, get up there. Sit on the knee. You know, a lot of the times we're saying stay away from strangers, don't touch them, walk away. Oh, go sit on this guy's knee, though. He's all kosher. Yeah, it's very true. When I was lucky enough to go to Japan a few years ago,

I went to a Pokemon Japan a few years ago, I went to a Pokemon restaurant where all the food, all the food is styled in Pokemon. Burgers, you name it, whatever it is, they all come out like characters from Pokemon. Jeez, they really nailed their foot to the floor there. Sometimes you're like, well, the food probably could taste a little better if you were trying to make it look like a Pokemon. Like a Pokeball or something, yeah.

My burger doesn't need to look like Pikachu or anything like that. But I got the biggest fright because I was sitting there and then suddenly there was a full mascot, a Pikachu, behind me in the restaurant with a chef's hat on. He's even doing the cooking as well. She's checking in on the meal, checking around. It gave me a huge fright, popped up behind me, and then everyone stood up and clapped like he was a Michelin star chef.

Like he had created all the dishes. Pass my compliments on to the chef. It was like, well done, Pikachu. You've done a wonderful job. And his chef's hat as a mascot. So yeah, I'm a little bit scared of Pikachu now after that. Someone is actually just texting us. We've been speaking, 4487.

They said, do you remember the frightening kiwi fruit that Jacinda Ardern encountered in Japan? Oh, yes. They were two giant kiwi fruit, I think for Zespri or something over there. And they were the official ambassadors of kiwi fruit in Japan. Oh, yes. They were two giant kiwi, I think for Zespri or something over there. And they were the official ambassadors of kiwi fruit in Japan. And they kind of had their mouths wide open, like they'd been caught looking at something on the internet that they shouldn't have been.

And they did a big depressing dance, didn't they? To like sad violin music. And they were just rocking back and forth behind Jacinda as she was making a speech. Very creepy, very scary. So that's what we want to know this morning because we don't want to come up with a mascot that is going to frighten anyone.

We want our mascot to be loved by all for the hits radio station. So 0800 the hits. Do we? We don't want a scary mascot. Producer Joel was just saying that the chipmunks or the lollipops playland mascot, which was a... A cat, right? Yeah, a cat or a chipmunk, I think.

When I was like three, went there for my birthday, traumatised me. lollipops playland mascot which was a a cat right yeah cat or a chipmunk i think it was uh yeah when i was like three weeks for my birthday traumatized me it would be odd for chipmunks to have a cat as a i think it was lollipops said that a cat chipmunk you're right we'll call the place chipmunks but we should have a cat as a mascot you're like really why not a chipmunk? No, no, no. It makes too much sense. So we're going to go to Susan first in Invercargill. Susan, what was it for you? What scared you? It was actually my daughter. It was very budgie.

Years ago on the hit, Bobby McDowell had a mascot. Bobby McDowell was a local legend, wasn't he? He was definitely a local legend. Yeah, right. So they hit Southland. They used to have a mascot. And radio has had a rich history of mascots. And what was there?

It was a budgie, was there? Yeah, it was called Birdie Budgie. And it frightened the kids? He frightened her. She reckons he threw a lolly at her one day and hit her on the nose. Now, did the budgie have budgie smugglers on? Was it wearing Speedos or not quite? No, it was dressed up as a budgie.

Dressed up as a budgie. Of a budgie. Maybe that could be her mascot, me and budgie smugglers. Or a budgie in Speedos. I was thinking a little cuter than you. Pasty white man just throwing out lollies to people and speedos what is this

and so does she still remember the birdie oh yes she still remembers it she was about three it sits with you I remember my mum Annie Price she took me along to a Dr Seuss live play and I distinctly remember a pair of trousers wandering around without a top half.

Just pants. Just pants. Just pants. And they were, oh, even to this day. I was like, Annie, that wasn't right. I was driving home in the car. She couldn't explain it away. That's why he's never worn pants since.

That's why he wanders around in those Speedos. Tilly, you're on from Auckland. Mascots you were frightened of as a kid? Maureen, it's not so much a mascot. It's that Chucky character. Oh, from Child's Play, the movies. Oh, yes. It's showing at the moment, I think, on Sky somewhere.

I just cannot take that character. It scares me to death. Yeah, it's quite an aggressive-looking little doll, isn't it? You can see why that would give you nightmares. Oh, gosh, it makes my skin crawl thinking about it. Ben has the same effect on me at times. Thanks, Tilly. Have a good one.

You too. We're going to New Plymouth. They're talking all over you. Sorry, Jenna, you're on. Welcome. Hello. Good morning. Good to have you on.

Characters that frightened you as a kid. Mr. Blobby. Oh, Mr. Blobby. Without a doubt, Mr. Blobby. For Noel's house party. He was terrifying. Terrifying. Big and pink with those yellow spots and a bow tie.

And he's constantly smiling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Minus thing smiles. Mr. Blobby. Ben,ing smiles. Mr. Blobby. Ben, you called me Mr. Blobby after lockdown.

When you were in your Speedos, I was calling you Mr. Blobby for a while there, wasn't I? Thanks, Jen. Appreciate it. Another text here, 4487. Well, you actually mentioned this the other day. Ray and Bo from Rainbow's End. Not quite sure what they are, but they've got their pants up by their chin, don't they? That'd frighten you after your Dr. Seuss trip, wouldn't wouldn't it that's for sure too much pants for jono's liking

the hits the jono and ben podcast we are looking for a mascot here at the hits radio station you can win 500 if you go to the hits.co.nz and design a mascot for us we'll announce the winner tomorrow yeah we've if we had our way though it'd all be that'll be winners wouldn't it but then we'd end up with more characters than Sesame Street representing the show, Ben. But these kids are going to learn the harsh reality of mascot design. There can only be one winner, and we'll announce it tomorrow, but we're going to talk to some of our

faves right now. Juliet, good morning. Hello. Lovely to have you on, Juliet. How old are you? I'm 12. Oh, nice. Got your whole life ahead of you, and thank you so much for spending some time designing us a hits mascot. What was your design? My design was your best friends and you're connected by music.

So I thought I would play on that. Right. So what you've done, if I could describe the picture, do you mind me describing your creative vision, Juliet? Yes. Okay. So there's a music note which is surgically attached to my cheek, and then the other side of the note is surgically attached to your cheek. Yeah, so a musical note.

We're literally connected by music. I love what you've done there. It's a great idea. Thank you. I love it. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. But this is where the knockers are going to come in.

I love the conjoined twins set up of the whole thing. Walking through doors, getting in cars. Just the logistics of the note. How do you suggest we get around those hurdles, Juliet? Well, I'm not quite sure. It's a bit big. Yeah, it's quite big. You're the designer.

You don't need to worry about that stuff. It would be like, you know, when you're moving a couch into a house, but moving a couch with your face. Yeah. Hey, well, you're one of our favourite entries so far. You might get a prize if you're selected. So good luck. Thank you so much for entering.

Thank you. Good on you, Juliet. What a little champion. We're going to head to Invercargill. How's Southland this morning, Brax? Good. 11 years old? Yeah.

Whole life ahead of you. Would you say I've got my whole life ahead of me, Ben? Am I still in there? No. Unfortunately, I think we're probably half. We've got some life ahead of us. Some life ahead of us. Pretty lifeless, I think, in some days.

Hey, thank you, firstly, for designing a mascot for us, Brax. What did you come up with? A monkey with a radio. Yeah. Now, what are the underlying tones here? Yeah, what are you trying to say here, Brax? Because monkeys are fun like your radio station. Oh, I like that.

It's not where I thought it was going. No, it's good. I like that. Yeah, it's a very cute-looking monkey. Now, monkeys, I think we can get like that. It's not where I thought it was going. No, it's good. I like that. It's a very cute looking monkey. Now, monkeys, I think we can get the costumes. Yes. That's achievable. The musical note I love might be a bit out of our pricing.

Yeah, that might be the problem. You're right. The monkey could work. The radio we could get too, right? Yeah, the monkey with the radio. We've got those things. Tick, tick. Did you have a name in mind for the monkey or is that up for us to decide?

I was going to name the monkey Johnno well I like it already now I see I like it already I like it already hey Brax thank you so much

for entering our competition and good luck we're choosing our winner this week to be fair someone else is going to have to because it's too hard one of the bosses here

because I don't like disappointing people you know that Johnno and these are amazing entries I tell you what if whoever organises the Met Gala is looking at this, Anna Wintour, lady who doesn't smile, she'll be shaking in her bloody Dolce & Gabbana boots, won't she? Hard to tell, though.

She's pretty emotionless, isn't she? Yeah, I don't know. She's quite indifferent. Now we head to Rotorua. Izzy, you're 11 years old as well. What did you design for the mascot, mate? I designed a hippo called the Hittopotamus. The Hittopotamus.

We spoke to you last week, so you actually drew it. Yeah. That's pretty cool. We're having a look at the picture right now. You can catch, actually, some of our favourite entries like yours on our social media at The Hits Breakfast. And there's still time for anyone to enter right now. Very good-looking hippo again.

I feel like, Jono, we can get the costume. $500. If you won, what would you spend it on, Izzy? breakfast and there's still time for anyone to enter right now. Very good looking hippo again. I feel like, Jono, we can get the costume. $500. If you won, what would you spend it on, Izzy? I would save half of it and then probably spend the rest on like a TV or something. Like a TV? I didn't think kids are into TVs anymore. I thought it was all about devices.

Izzy from Rotorua. So it feels like Project Runway, mascot version of Project Runway, doesn't it? I thought it was all about devices. Izzy from Rotorua. So it feels like Project Runway, mascot version of Project Runway, doesn't it? I love it. We need to make a decision tomorrow.

We're going to announce the official Hits mascot. It could be you, Izzy. Thank you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben

podcast. Because I was driving home yesterday from picking up my daughter from her netball practice and I drove past two businesses with pun titles, and it made me smile.

And nothing makes me happier than a business that's taken the time to make their name of the business a pun. Now, this one was a barbershop I drove past yesterday, Julius Scissors. Like Julius Caesars? I was like, Julius Scissors? I'd never seen that place before. I was like, I was like, Julius Scissors? I was like, I'd never seen that place before. I was like,

that's very good. One that brought us much joy was the hair port. The hair port, yeah. Remember it was a barber at the airport. That is great, yeah.

The other one I drove past was What's Up Electricians and I was like, but spelt Watts as in the electrical watts. Oh, I've seen Watts. Yeah,

and I was like, this is very good. So I went digging last night into some of the best pun names of businesses around the world. Because I think if I had a business, that's what I'd want to do was call it a pun name. But surely you'd want to do is deliver a great service. You're like, hey, I'm sorry I couldn't fix the plumbing.

There's sewage everywhere. But check out the pun title on the van. Is that not bringing you some joy to your day? Yeah, well, true. Yeah, I'd like a pun name and to also be competent in my job. But have a look.

Some of these. I'll run some of these past you see if you enjoy these. A bakery called Bread Pit. Oh, like Brad Pit? Or Bread Zeppelin was another one I found online.

These are actual legitimate companies. I haven't made these up. These are actual ones. A flooring place called Lino Richie. Lino Richie. Very good. A p up. These are actual ones. A flooring place called Lino Richie. Very good. A pita bread shop called Pita Pan, but spelt like

Pita, P-I-T-A, Pita Pan. A florist called Florist Gump. I've seen Florist Gump before. Yeah, that's a beautiful one. Another one like your hair port, a barber called British Hairways, which is so like a barber like British Hairways.

There was a glass repair called Pain in the Glass, which is very good, and a vape shop, which seems to be popping up everywhere, called Darth Vapor, which another very good one. So I thought there were some very good names, pun names around the world.

There's so many great vape shops out there, aren't there? Well, I don't know if they're great, but... Are they like a money laundering situation? What's going on? There shops out there, aren't there? Well, I don't know if they're great. Are they like a money laundering situation? What's going on? There is a lot, aren't there? There's so many.

There was someone in the office here yesterday, next door in the booth with producer Behums. Came in from another business, not our business. Came in, started vaping. It really threw him. It did. He came back in afterwards. He's like, do you know what was going on?

She just pulled out a vape. And he's like, you know what was going on she just pulled out a paper and he's like maybe she's heading outside no just started bloody blowing clouds people do the sneaky ones

inside their top and I'm like oh jeez really can you not just go outside like if you're going to do it it's like a dragon

coming out of your chest there