Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Joined by Brooke Fraser !

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

Rundown of the Oscars! Where can you not show your face? Kate Middleton are you okay?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. And Jono is broadcasting live from his spare bedroom because he has COVID. So the show is, you know, it's a little bit hamstrung this morning, but we're all doing our best. This is what happens when you sign up to work with two geriatrics, Megan. I wasn't going to say anything. This is where you have to deal with it.

This is the reality is uh you were gonna have some sick days in the old ryman health care facility uh but we're still alive still kicking still every day above grounds will win which is more than we could say about kate middleton because at this point no one is really sure if she is still with us well you've you've found yourself deep into the internet holes. The conspiracies that Kate Middleton's gone missing, the royal family, there's a Photoshop scandal now, she released a picture yesterday hugging her children. So it was all a bit of fun.

I was just like, haha, yeah, she's fine, until yesterday. So they released this photo for Mother's Day. It's her with her two kids. And then the Associated Press and Reuters, they are two massive media agencies, they issued a kill notice for this photo, which they said it was because it was doctored. It was photoshopped. And people who are good at Photoshop saw the editing faults. There's a little bit near Charlotte's sleeve that isn't connected.

Her hair cuts off. Kate Middleton's z that isn't connected her hair cuts off Kate Middleton's zips don't match up so it looks like a bad editing job it looks like they've photoshopped Kate into it it looks like it's someone else there's also a weird family member with an emoji for a face and I'm like those are alarm bells those are are Photoshop alarm bells right there. Listen. Yeah, what's your theory? My theory is she's no longer with us. And they're doing their best. They're out there in the trenches, the poor royal family,

some poor royal aid is having to download a free Photoshop program to try and cover their tracks. They're working hard. So at least we can pretend that we Are believing the propaganda That's all we can do as the public So one of the rumours was that she was in an induced coma And That's why we haven't heard from her or seen her There was that photo of her in a car

That the paparazzi got but to me that looks like Pippa So she did issue a Statement on her story But it's just written, and it says, like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. Want to express my apologies for any confusion

the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. Do a video, Kate. We want to see your face. Just do a little piece to Cam, say you're all good, and we'll all move on. But that hasn't happened. happened well if you've ever wondered what happened to those lovely people in tinfoil hats who are protesting outside parliament well they're putting their time and energy towards now i think we've found it unearthing the

conspiracy theory that kate's in a coma and the royal family are trying to pull the wool over our eyes with shoddy photoshop And I'm deep into it. I'm all about it. We should have a competition after the show today. Who can do the best Photoshop between the both of us, between the pair of us? Oh, God. I've never touched it in my life. Have you?

It doesn't look like the royals have either. The Oscars were on. Love the glitz. love the glamour. The Best Picture winner, probably no surprises here, was Oppenheimer. Emma Stone won Best Actress and Cillian Murphy won Best Actor. And no one really cares about any of the other awards, do they, really? Best Director was Oppenheimer. Apologies to whoever won the Best Sound. Apologies to whoever won the Best Sound.

Apologies to whoever won Best Lighting. Do you know who? Megan doesn't care about those awards. Yeah, of course. Jeff, light guy. And Charlotte, the sound lady. Charlotte Microphone's her name. So congratulations to them as well.

Huge awards. But you are a fan of the glitz and glam. You were very excited about the red carpet. Who do you think in your humble opinion, your humble fashionista opinion Megan won the red carpet? Could be controversial but I think Ariana Grande

in her massive pink pillowy did you see this dress? She was swimming in pillowy pinkness. But I loved it. I thought it was great. I always think about there's an Uber ride that has to be taken to get there. How are they fitting into the back of the Prius on the way to the red car? Sometimes they literally like lie down and flop in the car,

and I don't think there's seatbelts worn. I don't think practicality comes into it. I also don't know how half of them sit down at the Oscars, but anyway. One of the moments that stole the show yesterday was Ryan Gosling singing I'm Just Ken. I'm not sure that he ever really, I don't think he would have ever thought that he would be performing a song at the Oscars and be up for best song.

Because he can sing, but... And did Slash from Guns N' Roses play guitar? Yeah. It was incredible. He was wearing a pink bedazzled suit and he absolutely stole the show. what and did he how did he go because he was up for a supporting actor did he win that no i don't think anyone really expected him to it was for barbie you know you're going up against like real serious movies and then he's ken

and barbie uh so no he didn't do you reckon do you reckon there because uh obviously it'll be a long night so much clapping. Yeah. That's the thing when you, if you ever go to anything like that, you're just like, your hands are swollen like Mickey Mouse's hands by the end of the night. You've done so much applauding for people. Yeah. And even when Jimmy Kimmel did his opening monologue, everyone did a standing ovation. I was like, well, you've set the precedent.

Now you're going to be standing all night. You're standing for the host. Well, from precedent to presidents, Trump was apparently tweeting about the show live, and Kimmel started reading out his tweets. Have a listen. I just got a review, and... Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars?

His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be. Blah, blah, blah. Make America great again. That's so bizarre. But to be honest, Trump would have loved that he got a shout out. He had a great clap back too. He said, it's a pleasure to have you watching former President Trump,

but I thought it would be past your prison time. That was nice. That's a good burn. Also, the Barbieheimer rivalry was addressed when Emily Blunt and Ryan Gosling got up on stage to present an award. Happy that we can finally put this Barbieheimer rivalry behind us. And the way this award season's turned out, wasn't that much of a rivalry, so...

But you know, I think I kind of figured out why they call it Barbenheimer and they didn't call it Op and Barbie. Why? Well, I think you guys are at the tail end of that because you were riding Barbie's coattails all summer. I love him. He was so attractive.

And there we go. That was a lovely, convenient wrap-up of people who are far better looking and far wealthier than the rest of us will ever be. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. He's starting to think that we don't like you, Megan. Everyone has ditched me in the studio. It did cross my mind for a second. No coincidence.

I was like, I can't be stuck in this room alone with this lady one more day also you two are like the hardest working people i know and now i'm like how are you both uh down with sickness is it me you do you connect the dots my friend you connect the dots we'll leave that with you i was talking to a friend actually last night, just returned from Europe. It was in Scotland, so in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, and the person behind the counter at this little trinket shop recognized the accent and said, oh, are you from New Zealand? And they said yes.

And guess what? What? This person in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, they put down their bagpipes, lifted up their kilt, and said, I listened to Jono Ben and Megan on iHeartRadio. Oh, they said that after they lifted up their kilt. I added the kilt stuff to the bagpipes just for local Scottish references. They ate some haggis.

Isn't that wild? Good morning to that person. Yeah, while you're drinking whiskey and doing what the Scots do. But yeah, they really have been lumped with the old bagpipes and haggis stereotype, haven't they? Maybe they don't even like haggis anymore. Have you tried haggis?

Nah, they love haggis though, don't they? They do. They're fans of haggis. But yeah, so we've got someone listening in Scotland. So we wanted to open this up this morning. are you listening from an exotic location Scott Base Antarctica

space another option I'm really setting the bar high here the text from the person who said they're outside your window

of your spare bedroom looking in flattered I've dreamed of someone staring inside through a window so yeah lovely lovely to have them watching as well. But where are you listening from?

What can you see right now? The most exotic location is going to win big. And we've got Cody on 0800 The Hits. Good morning, Cody. Hello. You are coming to us from Wellington, but where specifically in Wellington? So I'm currently sitting just by the river by Milling Bridge in a 50-tonne crane.

Whoa. So they're just overlooking. What's hanging from the crane at the moment? Well, there's going to be some little site officers not quite hanging yet, but it's not far off hanging. That's a big responsibility. I have a question, Cody. I always think about this when I drive past construction sites.

What happens when nature calls and you're stuck up the top of the crane? Well, you sort of have to try and time it throughout the day if you can, but you normally just have to hold it for a while. You've just got to hold it. It's not like a little drain system that you can stick it in and do what you need to do uh yeah not quite i mean some people are probably a bit more keen than i am but um yeah so are you actually sitting up the top of the crane uh well i'm not in a tower crane i'm in a um mobile crane So it's a bit closer to the ground Right But when it's really windy

Do you feel some breeze, some sway? Oh yeah, yeah The wind takes on a big factor If it's too windy you can't really do a whole lot Yeah Have you ever operated the crane You're probably not going to say on the radio Like hungover?

Nah, never under any influence of anything like that. Yeah, he's a professional, don't be stupid. He's definitely not going to go, yeah, I've swung the crane around while I've been drinking. Not while drinking, like hungover, when you're feeling a bit rough. By risk, by reward.

Well, that question, Megan. I'll ask you, have you ever done radio drunk or hungover? Me? No, I don't think so. 100%. It's not heavy machinery. No, that's the thing. When you talk to people like Cody, you're like,

geez, there's actually some people doing important jobs right now. Yeah, yeah. Hey, well, good on you, Cody. You keep up the good work, my friend, and keep on drinking and craning, as they say. Yeah. Thank you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

The Riddler, Taylor, producer Taylor comes on once a week with a riddle. She's copied and pasted from the internet. And now,

the Riddler has taken off a life of its own. It's got an official sponsor that has come on board with it. Thank you to Dilma. We have a prize. We have a $100, well $100 cash, plus a Dilma. We have a prize. We have a $100, well $100 cash plus Dilma

hot and cold tea prize pack. Up for grabs if you can figure out Taylor's riddle, which we never can. No, we've been doing this for months so I don't think I've once landed any of the riddles. I am to riddles what Barbie was to the Oscars. Just nothing.

Elusive Okay so Taylor Today do you like to ask Megan Being a myself one first And we'll throw it to the listeners Okay go for it A plane carrying 112 passengers Crashed on the border of the US and Canada

Half of the passengers were from America Whilst the other half were from Canada Where did they bury the survivors? They crash on the border. Yeah. I don't know. Wherever they live. America. Wherever they come from. In the ground.

In the ground. In the ground? Is that your final answer? Yeah. Well, you don't bury survivors because they're alive. That one just makes me angry. Yeah. You bamboozle with all the details that you don't like.

See, there's a trend here. Yeah, okay. Don't read into the BS. Yeah. All right. Now, my daughter, we had one to ask you, Taylor. Okay? Okay?

This is from Poppy Price. Spell candy with two letters. Candy. D's got to be in there somewhere. Candy. Spell candy with two letters. With two letters. C-D.

K-D. No. What. C, D. K, D. No. What? No, I don't know. Candy. C and Y. Oh, C and Y. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good one. No, it's not. You're not acting like it's a good one. No, but you can't include the and. That's included. These are dumb. These just make me angry. All right.

Yeah, I know. You try and get all defensive and argumentative after you figure out what the answer is. Okay, why don't we chuck it out for the Dilmar Prize pick this morning? All right. Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence? Is that it? Yeah, that's the riddle for the listener. Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?

Yeah. I think this one's quite easy. I think I've got the answer to it. All right, we'll hold that for... Okay, I'll wait 100 of the hits. I'll wait 100 of the hits if you think you know the answer. The riddler with the teaser. Thanks to Dilma.

Is it anything to do with prison time? Well, I don't want to give that away. Oh, you're on the right track, I reckon. 0800 the hits if you think you know. Good morning. Who are we speaking to? Via. Via.

Do you know the answer to the riddle this morning? I think it's jail. Yes, correct. Yay! That's all yours, mate. Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence? Oh, I hate these so much. It was right there, clear as day, mate.

Congratulations, Via. You've won our Dilmar prize pack, $100 cash, and a Dilmar hot and cold teapack for you. Awesome. Thank you so much. Very brainy this morning. Thank you to Taylor, the Riddler. That's what we call her, to her face.

We call her other stuff behind her back, but we call her the Riddler, to her face. Thank you so much, Shane. To Dilmar as well, our partners. For the Riddler, bringing you the Riddler every week. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And she is coming back home, Brooke Fraser, to play one show, the 22nd of June at Sparkarenia, with the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra. Tickets are on sale now, and Brooke Fraser joins us in studio this morning.

Hi, Brooke, how are you? I'm so well, thank you. How are you? Good, it's lovely to see you. It feels like it's been 15 years. Yeah, possibly has been. What have you been doing for 15 years? I think it's been a little less than that. Well, I would like to congratulate you guys, because since the last time I was here, you have a new tunnel. We do. It's my big excitement. Because you're based in the States. I have, yeah, a couple of different bases.

I have several different driver's licenses from different countries, put it that way. So I kind of float around wherever I kind of need to be. So where are you living at the moment? Well, exactly. Well, right now I'm here with you. Yeah. So let's say that.

You're on the run from something. I am. I am. I am. Well am. I am. Well, are you excited because in June you're going to be performing with the Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra? It's a mouthful, isn't it? Yes, I am.

It's a word I've never been able to nail, Philharmonic. Yes. Yeah. I think you're doing great. I think that's enunciated that beautifully. It's 70 plus musicians on stage with you. Is that daunting? I know. No, it's so exciting. It's 70 plus musicians on stage with you. Is that daunting?

No, no, it's so exciting. I think that I'll probably definitely have imposter syndrome when we start rehearsals. But these are some of the most wonderful musicians in the country. Very skilled. The classic Kiwi and Brooke, like one of our most successful musicians and songwriters. And she's like, I wasn't sure if people would buy tickets. Wait, hang on a second, what? Pat was like, oh, this will either be like,

could be really cool or just like very embarrassing for me. It's not going to be embarrassing. People will buy tickets. It's going crazy. It turns out that a lot of people want to come. So I feel very honoured. Yeah. And it's going to be pretty sweet.

And I was saying to Megan as well, like my kids don't know these songs. So I'm going to have to start kind of schooling my kids on this Brooke Fraser music. They think it's hilarious. They didn't know that there was kind of this other name and this other person that's their mum. How old are your kids? They are six and eight, two girls.

So you've never told them that you had this whole career? Well, it's not that I, we've just been busy. Now you got, now you won a Grammy. Where do you keep a Grammy award? Well, it was in storage for a long time. Yeah. Why is that not on some sort of mantelpiece or on a chain? Because I don't live in India for very long.

My husband has it in his office. He was like, can I please put it in mine? So I was like, yeah, I just don't want to see it all the time. You are a better person than me. I've got my under seven, third place, 100 metres, junior champion, St Helier's Primary School. That's on the fridge. These kids need to learn.

Well, that's a standard to set. It really is. We've got Brooke Fraser with us in the studio. When you're at the Grammys, I understand it's a fake Grammy. Well, not a fake one, but you get given like a one on the night. You don't take that one home with you. Exactly, yeah, because they obviously can't engrave them all on the night because then people will see them.

So they have like just kind of blank ones that they give you. Then you have your photo taken and kind of then give it back and then eventually you get your one in the mail. Couriered to you. Was it a wonderful night? Did you enjoy the evening or was it long? It was so long ago now. It was wonderful.

Ours was a bit of a – what was funny is because we lived in California at the time and then normally in LA, but this was, I think the 50th anniversary. So it was in New York. So it was freezing and I'd heard about the goodie bags. I was quite excited. Well, what'd you get? A goodie bag. Well, I didn't get one because it was the 50th anniversary. so they didn't do them that year. I feel like they should be extra special that year. Yeah. I was looking forward to a little face mask or something, like a little sheet mask.

But I'm not complaining because I got a Grammy, and that's pretty crazy. That is pretty crazy. I think I get 50 goodies in a goodie bag for the 50th anniversary of the Grammys. Brooke Fraser is going to be performing at Spark Arena with the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra. Do you know, maybe you could do this as an introduction to the concert. We've got a little jingle for Spark Arena.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Spark Arena. Hi. So feel free if you want to. Wow. You guys need to record that. You need to track that. Put it out.

Brooke Fraser, lovely to have you back in New Zealand. Lovely to be back here. And where can people get tickets to the wonderful concert at Spark Arena? I believe they can go to livenation.co.nz and come along. It's going to be an amazing time. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It is time to discuss our relationships. I have been in my relationship for 10 years, but only married a few.

Jono, how many years have you been married? Yeah, we're 17. 17, so it poles apart. And this is, sorry, before I said 0800, we're going to guess the age and stage of your relationship. That meant nothing to anyone. So please, if you've got a redeeming feature about your relationship, then didn't we just play a song, did we?

We did. Jono is broadcasting from home, so he's running a bit blind today. So that would have been quite random. Random radio there. That meant nothing to anyone. So what we want to do is play a game. The age and stage of your relationship. You tell us one redeeming feature about your relationship.

And we just have to try and guess how long you've actually been together. Now, if we don't get it correct, you're going to win a prize. Megan, like you say, has been together for 10 years. But you and Andrew still act like a couple of randy teenagers. You've got cute voices for each other. We're not opposed to a little bit of PDA. We still put toothpaste on each other's toothbrushes. Are you kissing each other's lips in public?

Yeah. Are you holding hands? Do you not do that? Are you holding hands in public? Yeah. Do you not kiss Jen on the lips in public? I kiss her on the lips in public. We canoodle.

We canoodle. Oh, yeah. No, actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Mate, you should see what we're doing on a park bench in public lies absolute lies you should laugh at you when you hurt yourself yeah yeah we're at that stage we're at that stage where the the only joy i bring her is when i knock my head on a cupboard by accident and stuff. But that's all right. I find too, the longer you get together, a real fixture of your communications,

of your comms and marriages, just talking about stuff that needs to be done. Admin. Yeah, admin. Somebody needs to fill up the car. There's a whole pile of washing that needs to be folded. Don't forget that you've got to pick the kids up as well. and it's just a list of chores a list of chores and things that need to be done and no one really owning what who wants to do them or owning the task at hand and then that's the basis of it the competition as to who's more tired we do do that yeah who is

more tired you well i mean it depends who you ask. Yeah, me. He has to wrangle the kids in the mornings, but I get up earlier, so I win. What I love about that tired conversation, the bickering of who's more tired, is there's no gauge. No one can prove it. No. Everyone thinks they're the most tired, and there's no actual official barometer to measure the tiredness. Yeah.

So what we want to do this morning is have you tell us a little tidbit about your relationship, and we will guess how long you've been together. Hannah. Let's get Hannah up here. Good morning, Hannah. You there, Hannah? Good morning. We're talking over each other. We're talking.

Hannah, now I'm talking over you. I'm talking over Megan. Hannah, tell us one thing about your relationship. Well, I just delivered him his first morning coffee in bed. We are not really to have conversation until he's had at least one coffee. I'm not a morning person. I am a morning person. But I agree.

I'll fuel him before I start telling him what the job's up at the day. Okay, so he's still bringing you coffee and bed, did you say? Yeah. Okay, this is... I'm picking there's a bit of time, a bit of water that's gone under the bridge. Now this has just become part of the daily routine. I'm going to say 15 years together. Yikes! Just about, not quite. How many years have you been together, Hannah? Nine. Under double figures. I was going to say Just about, not quite How many years have you been together Hannah? Nine Under double figures I was going to say five so does that make me closer?

Ooh Yeah probably just Well done Hannah You win that one, on to the next one Brian you tell us one redeeming feature We'll try and guess how long you've been together with your partner Yeah The most conversations we ever have together

is when we're doing the dishes in the evening. Oh, okay. And what's the conversation like? How was your day? Oh, yeah, just general conversation like that. We're going to pick there's a lot going on in your life. You've been together a long time. There's probably kids.

There's two jobs going on. It's a busy household. I'm picking 22 years together, Brian. 45. Whoa! Sorry. 45 next month. Congratulations, Brian.

That's epic. What's the secret? Do as you're told and happy wife, happy life. And minimise conversation to just talking once a day while doing the dishes. Oh no, it's just what it seems to be lately

for the last few years. Oh good, thank you Brian. Congratulations mate, on a wonderful length. Evelyn, we're going to get you on. Tell us one thing about the relationship and Megan and myself will try and guess how long you've been together go for it okay my um husband recently said to me he wanted to buy and buy me or get me um a bigger diamond for my diamond engagement ring oh so diamond engagement are you am i allowed to ask questions are you actually married or are you still engaged?

Yes, we are married. I don't know how long you've been together, but can I have him? He's going to give you a bigger diamond. Can't be that long. I think I'll make that one. Three years, three years. I'm going to say 10. 22. 22 years and he's getting you a bigger diamond.

Who is this man? Wow. Did you say yes and when? I said, it's really nice. I'll think about it. Okay, no, Evelyn, that's the wrong answer. That's the wrong answer. I think I'm going to say yes.

Wow, okay. Well done to Evelyn and well done to Michael Hill-Jeweler. Everyone's winning out of that relationship. Congratulations. We'll take one more. I'm guessing your age and stage of your partner. Sarah, you're on. Welcome.

What is it? When we are finishing texts, we always finish it with, love you heaps and heaps, abbreviated, and kiss kiss, and every phone call I've finished with I love you, babe. Oh. Ugh. Ugh. So do you just write L-Y-

L-U-H-A-H. Cute. Like two years. That's sickening. Two years. That's more sickening than me and my husband. I'm going to go 12 months. A final answer? Two years. That's more sickening than me and my husband. I'm going to go 12 months. Final answer?

Two years. 12 months. 20 years. What? Yeah, we started it and we just never finished. Oh, there's hope for everyone. There's hope for you, Jenna. But it's kind of cute, too, because the kids all finish our conversations with love you as well.

So it's kind of rubbed off. Oh, I hope that's us in another... Megan, don't you worry. The way you and Andrew are going, that is definitely going to be you. Okay? Don't you worry about that. Well, thank you very much.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just an update on Kate Middleton. She has been spotted after the Photoshop scandal yesterday. She was pictured leaving Windsor Castle with Prince William. Apparently she has a private appointment. So I think she's alive. I think it could be an AI generated image of her though. Or is it Pippa? They look very similar.

Let's not forget this paranoia. I'm loving diving down this rabbit hole of what's happened to Kate Middleton. Now we met two lovely people yesterday too. We must do a shout out Megan. I usually forget shout outs but it's written in our phone It's in our sheet Imrana and Mike or Mark

I think it was Mike or Mark From BCITO And they were part of the building construction Industry training organisation And they were lovely people they listened to the show Well Imrana does I don't know if Mike probably seemed more like a rock guy It was Mike.

It was Mike, I remember. He was lovely, yeah. They were. They were lovely people. So thank you for listening, Imrana and Mike, if you're with us as well. It's a pleasure to have you here too, my friend. Now, in the middle of an absolute glitter catastrophe at the moment, Megan. How are you dealing with glitter in your life?

Why are you? Well, you've got a dog, and dogs really don't have a gauge on what can be consumed and what can't be consumed. It seems like everything is fair game to a dog, which must be thrilling for them when they go out and about. They're like, I could eat literally anything right now. Yeah. There's nothing.

Shoes, rocks. He was eating rocks for a while there. I'm pretty sure if you opened up his stomach, it would look like some student had been dared to eat all these random items at Otago University or something. Yeah. And they don't know. They don't know.

There's a basketball net that he's been chewing on over the weekend as well. They've just got no gauge on what you can and can't eat. Do you feed your dog? Yeah, I feed him as well. He likes to get experimental outside of the designated dinner times. And all of a sudden, I've noticed all of his deposits on the lawn are now covered in glitter. Like everything's covered in glitter. It looks like my little unicorn has pooped all over our lawn or something,

you know, my little pony. Did your dog go to the errors tour on the sly? It does look like the reminiscence. It looks like I've held a Taylor Swift concert in the backyard. I mean, that's a nice way to brighten it up when you're picking it up. It's a bit more. It is. It looks like a little chocolate log you rolled in glitter as well.

But then we did some investigating, and it turns out he's eaten an entire pot of glitter from my daughter's room. And hence, I don't know when it's going to end. It's bringing a lot of joy. I mean, that can be a depressing task at the best of times, having to pick that stuff up from the lawn, but it adds a little bit of sparkle and pizzazz to the task at hand. Maybe you could just sprinkle a little bit of glitter on his dinner every now and then,

just so it's not so nasty when you pick it up. Ben's got a dog bow uh ben's still away too with his infected elbow uh he he bow once ate a sock and it started to emerge from where it would naturally emerge from yeah but then it got stuck inside the the muscle and so ben was having it was like doing a tug of war with the sock. Beau was pulling and he was pulling and I think eventually Ben won the tug of war. Good morning to all our listeners who are eating breakfast this morning.

That's so great. We're about to head off to school and do art class with Glitter. Lovely to have you tuned in. Coming up after eight o'clock, we are going to have someone who's talking about the economy. Doesn't sound very sexy, but he is making it palatable and sexy for us.

And how you can get rich. He's got some tips on how you can get rich quick. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And Jono is at home with COVID. I'm in here holding the ship together. Yeah, the trenches are the glue to the shabby operation. And I won't lie, it's been a shabby radio show this morning. But that's many thanks to me, and I'll take that one on the chip.

Now, Megan, the club can't handle David Guetta and Flo Rida, but I tell you who can't handle you anymore is Westfield Rickerton. We want to know, 0800 the hits, where you can't show your face anymore. Might be an establishment, restaurant, bar. Could be you've embarrassed yourself at a friend's of a friend's place. Because Megan is going to share the tale of why she's no longer allowed at Westfield Ricketts. This is one of those things. Actually, we brought it up in the Wild Wild Web, our extra podcast we do.

And I stupidly told you this story kind of for our fear. But you say I'm still banned. I'm not actually banned anymore. I was banned for two years, so I can actually show my face at Westfield Rickerton just in case someone sees me there in the future. But when I was young and silly, maybe I was like 11 or 12, me and my friend went there and we thought it would be a great

idea to not pay for a few things, if you know what I'm saying we went around and I smuggled some nail polishes and hair clips and yeah, I didn't pay for them, I got a tap on the shoulder and it was the most terrifying

moment of my life Is this undercover shopper or is it security guard what was it i thought i don't know they weren't in like a security guard outfit because i wasn't initially sure what had happened and they were like can you come with me and i was like oh it's stranger danger no but they took us um up into like the head office and were like you've been caught taking things, which is like terrifying. Yes. I've never done it ever since.

I thought I was going to wear pants. A little bit of pee come out? A little bit of pee? Yeah. Literally. And we got taken home. We were actually staying with my best friend's grandma at the time. So we got taken back to her grandma's house in a police car.

And the grandma, did the grandma find out about this? Yeah, because the police turned up in her driveway. And brought these two young girls home. We were like, oh my God. Too old to have to deal with that information. It wasn't even my grandma. And when I eventually went back home to Nelson and saw my parents, my parents just didn't talk to me.

There was silence. I was like, oh God, it would be better if you just yelled at me. And so never done anything like that since. It just scared the actual wee out of me. But, yeah, I was banned for two years. And after that, I actually moved to Christchurch and couldn't go. I had to tell people why I couldn't go to that mall. Horrifying.

Yeah. Well, thankfully, online shopping is a thing now. It's a sucked in Westfield. You can still impulsively buy products without even having to go there, Megan. That's true. It's a win for you. Producer Taylor, we'll bring you in.

The wonderful Producer Taylor. Where can you never show your face again? So I'll tell this story because it's back in Cronulla, so I won't get in trouble for it now because I think the legislation doesn't carry across the water. But when I was 16, I bought someone's ID off them one of the girls at school because she was two years older than me and I went night clubbing with it and I was lining up and the security guard could obviously see it wasn't me in the photo and he was quizzing me and I had so much confidence back then so I was like getting quite hostile at him like being a smart ass and then um he was like I know this isn't you and I was like bullcrap it is how do

you know that and he goes oh because this girl's actually working behind the bar right now so the girl I bought the ID off didn't even tell me she worked there so then I the cops were called on me and my best mate and my mum had to come pick us up. And yeah, I've got a life ban from there. Wow. A life ban seems a little harsh. Yeah. It's in Miranda back at home. I'm sure if I went there now, I'm blonde.

They wouldn't even know. What did your mum say? I feel like your mum wouldn't have done the silent treatment. She probably would have gone the other way. Yeah. Well, she was in the middle of her hair washing routine. So she came with a towel in her head, wet hair, and she was just so off it. And then when I got home, she was like, why would you want to even go there anyways?

It's crap. So, yeah. Unlike you to be hostile as well. It is unlike me. Normally I'm cool and calm. Yeah, true. The only place I can't show my face again, and it was one of stops uh shops where you could get confectionery and it was a sunday morning and i had excess cardboard and rubbish in my boot and i was like oh i know

where there's a waste management but i can just go around the back and dump my rubbish in this bin and then boom door comes open and it's the owner of the shop and i'm putting the rubbish in the air skip and boy there is nothing quite like uh an adult telling off is there and she was like this is worse than dumping animals and i feel like her scale yeah her scale of shocking items to dump in the bin was maybe a little bit off but uh i wouldn't say dumping a puppy is as bad as flattened cardboard. No. But I did inflame the situation when I asked unnecessarily,

and it was probably the Scorpio in me just trying to be an absolute prick like I am. I said, well, is the puppy in this instance alive or has it passed, the one I'm dumping? And that didn't go down well. I just tried to bring some humor. And she made me climb back into the bin and pull it all out. Oh, my God.

You dumpster dived. Yeah. Degrading led to go back in, pull all the rubbish out. And she watched every day. And she was like, no, also that bit, that bit. She was picking out all the things that I put in there. And I've never been back. I've never been able to show my face again.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We were talking this morning about where you can't show your face again. All three of us have an example. I got banned from Rickett and Morland Christchurch for my little five-finger discount. It was years ago, and I've never done that again, just by the way, and I don't condone it. I just feel like I need to put that out there.

Well, you did at the time. I was very young. At the time. Very young. You got banned for chucking your rubbish in a dairy skip yeah no that was that was embarrassing and i was a fully grown adult there uh and i did condone it uh so yeah i can never show my face around again it was one of my favorite dairies of of all time uh and i was accused of, I was just dumping cardboard and things.

It was worse than dumping animals, apparently, according to the owner. I felt like they were quite riled up with anger and they were trying to come up with examples on the spot. And they overshot the mark. Also, you weren't accused. She saw you doing it and she made you pick it all out of the dumpster. Absolutely. Yeah. Caught red-handed.

Caught red-handed. Had blood on the hands. So did the puppy's blood that I was also dumping at the same time. Because apparently that. Caught red-handed. Caught red-handed. Had blood on the hands. So did the puppy's blood that I was also dumping at the same time. Because apparently that's worse than dumping carcass anyway.

I should let go of that. So where you can't show your face again, some wonderful messages coming through here on 0800 The Hits. Someone who can never show their face again

at their heavily Christian auntie's house after she walked in on me and a girlfriend at the time and made us both leave immediately. Oh. Why are you doing it at your heavily Christian auntie's house? Well, obviously they were staying there.

Why was that a good choice? Yeah, right. Well, they probably weren't imagining the heavily Christian auntie was going to walk in. It's true. Were they? They took a gamble and it didn't pay off, obviously. So he's never been back since 0800, his telephone

number. Where you can't show your face again, Delta. I was a child. I'm 20 now, so I've learnt my lesson. But I absolutely love cherry ripes and I have done ever since I was little. I'm one of those weird ones. But I wanted a cherry ripe and my mother would not let me have it.

I think I was eight, maybe nine. So I should have known better. And so I grabbed the cherry ripe off the shelf because mum wanted to get it for me. And I was eating it as we got out, and she asked me where I got that and when I got it. And yeah, I told the story, and she was like, well, you can take that back into the shop

and pay for it, and they're like, thanks for you can take that back into the shop and pay for it. And they're like, thanks for paying for it, but we don't want to see you here for another two months or that kind of thing. Then mum took me to the police station after that to show me what would happen if I carried on with this. And what did the police say when you got there? Well, they sat me down and they were like, we know you're about eight. I think I was eight. They were like, you're eight, so you should know better. And we don't want to see you here again.

We've heard some other stories about you stealing from home as well. So we don't want to hear any more stories. So we don't want to see you here ever again. Was it a legit police station or did someone dress up as a cop? No, this was at a police station because I was one of those kids that stole a lot of things throughout my childhood. So mum had enough of it and she's like, right, we're going to send you to the police station, get you to sit down and talk to one of them. And now you can learn your lesson. You do hear people doing this.

Was it a cop that dressed up? Did she take you to some strippers or something? Teach you a hard life lesson about stealing. Honestly, you should probably be sentenced to a hard time for eating cherry rites. That's probably the most controversial chocolate bar. Terrible chocolate bar. Dark chocolate, coconut,

cherry. I'm on board. I love anything with coconut. Yeah, I'm on board with the cherry rite. Shocking. Shocking chocolate. Did you learn your lesson? I think so. I haven't seen a police station since 8 and I. Did you learn your lesson? I think so. I haven't seen a police station since eight and I'm almost 21 this year. So I think I have. Delta.

Good on you, Delta. Have a wonderful day. Appreciate it. Vicky, you're on. Well, you can't show your face again, Vicky. Oh, my God. Akaroa. In Christchurch.

What did you do in Akaroa? The actual township. My girlfriends and I thought it would be a good idea to steal my father's Camaro when he was out of town and go for a drive to Akaroa to see dance exponents. And when we got there, we decided to show off to some boys. And I knew how to do donuts and burnouts. And so I was blowing out the tires. And all of a sudden, you hear the siren go off.

And a cop came over and pulled us all out. And we're all dressed up to nines because we're going to the dance expo with leathers, kung fu shoes, prot side hair. And he lined us all up. And he walked up and down the car and he says, it's your lucky day. I'm not going to find you, but you're banned from this township. Don't ever show your face in here again. I was like, oh, can't leave for days.

You're banned from Aikaroa. It's like a sheriff. You're never welcome in this town again. And it's such a wonderful, quaint, French, seaside town. The last thing you need is some bogan and a camaro doing burnouts on the main road. We never got to see the dance exponents. You dressed up for it. And to this

day, my dad still does not know I stole that car. He does now, Vicky. He does now. He does now, Vicky. I was so scared. They were going to compound the car and now I have to explain it.

You realise what medium you're currently talking on right now, Vicky, don't you? Yeah. Don't worry, I got up to worse stuff. Good on you, mate. Thank you so much. Appreciate your call. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Liam Dan joins us in studio.

He has written a book, Barbecue Economics. He's a New Zealand Herald financial journalist and basically just making economics sexy. Good morning, Liam. G'day, guys. Lovely to have you in the studio. You're a New Zealand Herald journalist. So Barbecue Economics is the name of your book and a really interesting story as to how you came up with the title. Yeah, well, I mean, it's sort of partly because, you know,

you end up going to barbecues and getting asked these questions when you're in a job like mine. It's, you know, what's going to happen to interest rates? What's going to happen to housing market? How worried should we be about things? All that stuff. I mean, yeah, it really, and also maybe, you know, I guess the idea is that if you read this book

and you want to sound smart when you're at your next barbecue and it all turns to money and house prices and interest rates, this will help. The biggest question you get asked is, should we be worried? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How worried should we be about this or that? And I always think that a good answer to that is, how worried do you want to be? How much can you cope with? Because the guys who I've talked to over the years who are really rich

have a huge capacity to take risk and not worry too much about it. We were just talking about this before. Megan, you were saying your husband, Andrew, he's a risk taker. If you weren't holding him back, he would be doing all sorts. But we could also be bankrupt. So he's up for high risk, high reward. I'm not so much. Yeah.

And those are the two types, right? Yeah. And I don't want to, economics is full of things to worry about. Like, you know, you read, and the stories we write in the Herald and things, the gloomy ones always go better. And that's the nature of it.

But you don't want to let it hold you back as well. And if you are, especially if you've young and got opportunity and all that sort of stuff, you know, some people are really, love that risk taking and they're the ones that sort of stuff, some people really love that risk-taking, and they're the ones that often go on to do very, very well. Otherwise, the only alternative is waiting a long time and just your KiwiSaver will look after you in the end,

but it's not going to be an overnight sensation. What's one thing that we could be doing better with our money? Your average person. Obviously, just sensible long-term investing, make most of KiwiSaver and all that sort of stuff. I think this is a Warren Buffett one. Of course, his advice is everywhere. But a lot of the rich sisters will say it.

They're not chasing money like a dollar score in their bank account. They're chasing success. So they're chasing a goal. And for some of them, like Graham Hart or someone like that, that success is doing the next big business deal. So money, he makes a lot of money. But for other people, it's something in their career and money or being financially comfortable might flow.

So Warren Buffett says, first of all, invest in yourself because it's unaffected by inflation. It's always with you. They can't take it off you. If you've got skills that are tradable, you've got a baseline there for some economic well-being so investing in yourself is a pretty good one i think that's a great man yeah very good bit of advice now i was reading about you when you were working overseas you your boss was on the uh fbi's 10 most wanted person

list yeah that was quite quite good fun i I was not a business guy, right? So I went to London on the OE, but the only way to earn money was to put on a suit and tie and go into the City of London and work in accounts departments and that, very low level. But yeah, the one I ended up in was called Mark Rich Investments and the guy was a FBI-wanted fugitive. So he was only ever in Switzerland.

So we never had the boss in the office. So it was actually... Oh, so they couldn't touch him in Switzerland? Yeah, he could live in Switzerland. He couldn't come to London, which meant we never actually had a boss. So it was a very loose office. What did he do? He traded with Iran.

Yeah, he basically was a commodities trader, oil trader, who didn't listen to the American rules and bans on who you could and couldn't trade with, and that was enough to get him. He got pardoned in the end by Bill Clinton on Bill Clinton's last day in office, which is a thing presidents are allowed to do. Yeah, they just do it.

Were they mates? I think he may have donated a lot of money to the Democrat Party. Right, okay. Liam, Dan with us. Barbecue Economics is the book that's out. You've got $100. Someone is listening to this right now they've got $100, what are you doing with it?

Maybe go to Sharesies or some other fund and start a fund and put that $100 in and keep going because what we do know is despite all the ups and downs is that over a long period like 10 or 20 years the market always wins and always creates wealth. So if you want to turn that money into something, yeah, do that. Well, Liam, damn it. Hey, congratulations.

Barbecue Economics is out now, and I really appreciate your time. Thank you. Great. Thanks for having me, guys. Cheers.