Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Jono Has Been He-Peating..

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

Have you ever heard of He-Peating... Megan had an awkward wardrobe malfunction Ben wants to be proposed to at a Taylor Swift concert...? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Not a great start to the day for one of the team here. Yeah, poor producer Joel. You came in and you explain what happened. This is happening around 5am in the morning. Yeah, I actually, it goes back a bit further than this as well. I woke up and my phone didn't charge. It was dead when I was driving into work this morning and then I was... It's such a stressful situation, isn't it? Yeah.

Especially for your generation. I know. I was lost as it is. And then I was just walking to work, you know, happy as I always am, coming in at 5 a.m. on a Thursday. And it was obviously raining hard overnight. There's a puddle. I'm standing at the lights in a car, white SUV,

didn't get the number plate, sadly. Just drives past this puddle Of like murky Freezing cold water Street water Yeah Kadush All over me My laptop bag is open

All over my laptop as well My jeans Completely soaked You did come He was drenched His pants were drenched And then you said There was a truck driver

Behind this car And what did they do? He just looked at me He put his hands up He's like Oh I'm sorry man But it wasn't even his car It wasn't even his car He was just looking I was like driver behind this car what do they do he just look at me he put his hands up he's like oh i'm sorry man but it wasn't even his car it wasn't even his car he was just looking i was like oh if you don't if you don't laugh you'll cry he's like buddy tough start to the day that's a real

tough start to the day i've always wanted to be the one driving over something like that but like being on the other side of it it's um it's not fun do you think that the motorist is like here's my one chance i'm never gonna get this again it's not fun. Do you think the motorist is like, here's my one chance. I'm never going to get this again. It's the cover of darkness as well. Yeah, true. Oh, 800 of the hits. Let's check this open. Have you had a worse start to the morning?

Oh, okay. Has anyone had a worse start to the morning than producer Joel? Yesterday, and this doesn't relate to this morning at all, I kicked my bloody toe into the corner of the couch. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. And no toe into the corner of the couch. Yeah, that's... And no one really appreciates a sore toe. It doesn't get the respect it deserves.

You're right. I mean, for an initial five minutes, it's really good. It just goes. But you're right. It honestly looks like I've dipped it into a pool of crude oil. It's that black. And I'm like, oh, I've got to sort... It's the second one from the small one, so it's very insignificant. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Of oil, it's that black. And I'm like, oh, I've got to sort, it's the second one from the small one. So it's very insignificant. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Of course, everyone's going crazy for Taylor Swift at the moment. She's going to be performing in Australia next year. The Ticketek pre-sales were yesterday. You might have seen all over social media last night. So many people were either trying to get tickets or they're like, I'm in, sending that little thing, saying I've got tickets. But there was a hack that was upsetting a lot of people some people

discovered that because people joined the waiting room like hours and hours before and we're in the waiting room for these tickets for for hours four or five hours sometimes but then people were discovering if you left and closed down all the tabs and then went back into the ticker tech you'd suddenly get bumped up the order because you were a new, and people were only waiting 15 minutes where they'd come back in. Oh, but then the battlers had been there for hours. They'd just get shunted down further and further down the list. Yeah, down the order. So I don't know what was happening with the computer systems.

Risky person who took that first move on that hack too. Like, okay, I'm going to close all the tabs. You're wondering if it was a double laptop situation or something. Going, I'm going out. I'm going back in. And then going, oh my God, I'm back. I've got the tickets. Yeah, so that was upsetting a lot of people.

Wild demand. It's huge, eh? I've always generally liked with concerts, I don't know how many she's scheduled, but she'll just do more. You know, if those ones sell out, they'll just add on more. She's like, if there's more money to mine out of you idiots

in Australia and New Zealand I'll keep doing shows until they're empty yeah my I was thinking last night my sister's friend I remember a while

but she is massive Taylor Swift fan so she I've no doubt she'll be going but I always remember we're here one day and she had a plan

she didn't even have a relationship she wasn't with anyone but she was just like if my partner does not propose to me during a Taylor Swift song doesn't have to be,

in this part of the song. Her name's not even Juliet. She was like, but she was like, if my partner's not, I'll say no. If the song's not playing and it doesn't get to the marry me Juliet part and they go on their knee and they propose, they're like, nah, it's not going to happen. This, this, that requires some exceptional timing. Can we try it in real time, Joel? Say, okay, say we're being all proposed to you and I just want to take it right up to

the bit where it goes, marry me. Okay, go. You know how much I love you, eh, man? Yeah, yeah. Will you marry me? What's that? Sorry, what? Listen to the song.

Oh, my name's not Juliet, but what? Okay, take two, sorry. I said, Ben, I love you. Will you marry me? Oh, wow, what a yes. Oh, wow. Oh, my God, we're getting married. Yeah, see, it's great.

I like it when that song really kicks up a level with that. So, yeah, I see what she's doing there. But then on his part, or her part, who's proposing, they really have to pause it at the right moment to lead into it. Yeah. Always, every time I hear that song, I think of that story. And I'm like, oh, I wonder one day if that will actually happen or not. And certainly because you're all wound up anyway because you're proposing to someone,

let alone having to time it impeccably like a radio host. You'll be like, oh, I love this song. You're like, yep, wait, wait, wait. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Hello, how's it going? We're good. We're just going to say very professional looking in a blazer today. I actually did this for you.

I put on a blazer. Good to bring some professionalism to the show, is that why? Shabby operation. None of the shows that I'm bringing you relate to a blazer at all. Now, what's your favourite item of clothing? We all got to pick one. Of Megan's. Of clothing.

Yeah, go on. Please, I'd love to hear that. Ben and me have a group chat going about all your clothing. Jeez, those leather pants, mate. I'm always saying shoes. I don't look at... Megan's come back in the studio a little disgruntled. You're upset with us.

What's going on? Fake friends. Well, fake friends now, because we had you in not but an hour ago. We were talking about what to watch with Megan, as we like to do every week, but we've done something wrong. You didn't tell me my top was inside out. Well, to be fair, as soon as I said, oh, that's a nice blazer or something, and then we got into a weird space of...

Yeah, because we talked about your clothing For some reason It was weird And then I was like I only ever look at your shoes And all that sort of stuff And then we refused to make eye contact With you from that point on

And now you're upset with us Because we didn't notice Your top was backwards To be fair It's like the lace You know at the top of my singlet If you'd been like Hey your top's backwards

I would have been like What are you looking down there for Thank you Thank you So we've done No winning Could have been worse My like skirt could have been Tucked are you looking down there for? Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. So we've done no winning. Could have been worse.

My skirt could have been tucked into my undies or something. That actually happened last Friday. We didn't say anything. No, I didn't. I thought you meant to you. I was like, oh my God, babes, I would have told you. No, your skirt was the whole writing, the whole two-part. So in future, if we do notice something like that. Please tell me.

But I didn't honestly, in all honesty, I didn't notice. Oh, that's good. Which is a great thing because you weren't steering in a certain direction. Yeah. But do you know a friend of ours, I can't remember who it was, they had pulled some clothes out of the dryer and due to the static electricity, the G-string had sort of attached itself to the back of the leg.

So she wandered around all day with a G-string, a floral, you know, a lacy looking number Did she tell you about this or did you see it? Yeah, no, I think we heard the story No, that one, we ignored that one as well Just like with you Is this probably the worst? I mean, it's pretty light

I mean, when it comes to wardrobe malfunctions This would be one of the worst for you? Yeah, I've actually heard a few stories around the office From people who have done way worse, so it's made me feel better. Yeah, it does. Do you know what makes me feel way worse is next door listening right now are about 20 children

aged six or seven. Hello, kids. Come in here, kids. Come in here. Come in and have a chat. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, I know. I was just thinking. I was going to tell another story. It's not appropriate right now. Hello. Now, we were just having a conversation about a lady know i was gonna tell another story it's not appropriate right now hello now we were just having a conversation about a lady whose underwear was stuck to her leg all day isn't that a weird story yeah mars you can't count on us according to megan puppets from the day show

because we didn't bring up the fact that her top was inside out around the wrong way or so i don't know it was i was on wrong we just ignored her wardrobe malfunction so now we're in trouble now they can be your best friend and worst enemy clothes can't they yeah uh what story i've told multiple times it's my only clothing malfunction story that i do have been we have an abundance of suits don't we and we because it was through the years of tv and i was in a rush going to my friend ben's wedding in queenstown and i was rushing to the airport and i was like i don't have a suit so i swung by work and i grabbed some pants in a panic uh and then arrived at the at the venue and i was

putting on the trousers and i was like uh-oh these have the familiar skinny feel of ben boyce's trousers yeah he got into my pants it was like It was like squeezing two dog rolls into a pair of socks. And I couldn't do the zipper. The zip wouldn't even go. The zip was just staying at base camp the whole time. It wouldn't even begin to climb the mountain. Oh, I see that. And so I basically had the whole thing open like a curtain

through the whole wedding. I feel very vulnerable. That's Jono's wardrobe malfunction. What's yours on 800 The Hits. We're going to go to Jane in Christchurch. It's good to have you on. Jane, what happened? Hi guys. This was really awkward.

It was a long time ago when I just started a new job and I was a wee bit stressed and I got to work on there and realised I had two different shoes on. Two different shoes? That feels like something that you could have red flagged yourself as soon I had two different shoes on. Two different shoes? That feels like something that you could have red-flagged yourself as soon as you put the shoes on. Yeah, I was really tired. Were they even close to matching shoes?

One a high heel, the other one a gum boot? No, they were the same color. One was like a wee ballet pump thing, and the other one was like a trainer. It was really awkward. Oh, so you had a lace-up shoe and then a slip-on shoe. Very clever. It was like a slip-on trainer.

Oh, yeah. Maybe you're pushing fashion boundaries. That's the thing. I feel like Kanye West would do something like that. Thanks for your call. Appreciate it. Good on you, Jane. Kelly, you're on.

Welcome. Wardrobe malfunction. Hi. What happened? Yes. Okay okay so i was dropping my daughter off at a private school in hamilton yeah um and um i think it was one of the early years um and i had i was carrying something and um i was wearing a long, thin skirt with an elastic waist. And so I dropped her off at Seagull Bay. I went to cross the road, and as soon as I stepped out on the road,

the elastic failed at my skirt, and it fell down to my ankle. Oh, no. It gave up. I looked up, and one of the fathers was driving past with his child. He's like, it's a private school, I don't need to see your private parts. Mate! I did have underwear on, but the funny thing was I just

in the one moment in the half a second, I just quickly bent down, trying to still carry the box of stuff. Oh, you're holding something. Good on you! I held it up and quickly, briskly walked to the car and didn't look back to see who else was there. You're not going to that school anymore, I'm sorry.

Good on you, Kelly. Johnny, we'll get you on. What happened with your wardrobe malfunction? It was in Bali, Johnny. Oh, he's gone. He said he accidentally got his twigs and berries out in front of a beach load of people in Bali. And speaking of, Belle, yours happened at the beach, your wardrobe malfunction?

Hi, guys. What happened? So me and my friends went up north to a surf beach, and we were all in little cute bikinis you know as you do and the waves were really really hectic and we kind of came up from being pummeled and two of us the other one had a rash suit on but the two of us so one of my friends had lost her bikini top and I was basically like stripped naked. Oh jeez those waves. Those waves. Unpredictable.

It was rough, like Mother Nature trying to undress me like this is reason for her. And how do you get out of the ocean? What do you do? Seaweed? Is that an option? Like Ariel with little clam shells or something? No, I kind of, I found like my bikini within the waves, luckily.

Oh, good. It was pretty rough. There you go. Stripped naked by the ocean. Thank you very much, Belle. Appreciate it. You can get these coming through. 4487 Wardrobe Malfunction.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. I got accused last night of he peeting. Now, I'd never heard this phrase before. No, I don't know it either. He peeting is the first cousin of mansplaining. Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like a relation.

It doesn't sound, when I, when Jen, my wife said, oh, you're he peeting, it didn't sound, it sounded like a comment some woke person would write in an internet forum or something. But she, I repeat, I said some news to her. I was like, oh, did you hear that XYZ is leaving, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, you're heap eating. She's like, I told you that information on the weekend.

Now you're relaying it back to me as if it's brand new content and you've discovered it. And I was like, what? And she's like, you're heap eating. It's a technique that's taken off, mate. It's catching on like wildfire. So do you need to repeat it back to the same person to be he peed him or just repeating it to someone else?

Well, in its purest form, he peed him would happen in a corporate meeting setting. And a female would go, hey, how about we go and we put those numbers up for next month's financial review? And everyone's like, ignores the little lady in the corner. Yeah, good one I hear your lips moving but keep it shush sweetheart and then they keep talking

then a guy will come in you know under five minutes later and go hey why don't we put those numbers on the next month's financial everyone's like mate

legend take the rest of the day off I hope that's not happening it happens a lot I hope it's not happening apparently well text 4487 it shouldn't happen

do you get he papeded in meetings? It happens. But we all know it just sounds more powerful coming out of a man's mouth. It does. You know it. No, I don't know. No. As someone who has two daughters, it's a bugbear for me that this sort of thing still goes on.

Yeah. But now I've ended up mansplaining heaping yeah true to a whole community of people and the thing that confuses me about mansplaining is like where's the line when i'm just being helpful and explaining something that's my problem now i don't explain stuff yeah because i'm worried about being called out for you can come in here totally you can come in here like my wife's like well you never explained that i'm like well i was feeling like i didn't want to mansplain it. Where's the line for two things? Have you been he-peated in a meeting? Well, when I started this job with you two, all it is is he-peating.

Oh, jeez. That one iron mighty over here is like, oh, I don't do this. No, no, I'm kidding. But just on that point. The mansplaining. Where's the line between just pure, just generous explanation and then where's the line well i think if if you were to explain something to me either of you and i go yep cool and then you continued on that then he's mansplaining so go yeah i got it the first time right because i'm always like i don't know if jen knows this information or not probably not

she's got a smaller brain than me that's science That is science You know I don't know it's science My mate Andrew Tate Said it online He was like Don't say You're a smaller brain Don't even say it You're right

Okay Play something The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Taylor Swift There's been a frenzy Of ticket buying Over the last 24 hours

People trying to get Tickets to Taylor Swift concerts In Sydney and Melbourne Next year I know Rach in the office She got some I saw a lady on TV Before crying People trying to get tickets to Taylor Swift concerts in Sydney and Melbourne next year. I know Rach in the office, she got some. I saw a lady on TV before crying. Uncontrollable crying that she didn't get tickets to Taylor Swift. Well, she'll be happy because something that you predicted when we were talking about it just after 6 o'clock this morning.

Have a listen. I've always generally liked with concerts, I don't know how many she's scheduled But she'll just do more You know if those ones sell out They'll just add on more She's like if there's more money to mine out of you idiots In Australia and New Zealand I'll keep doing shows until they're empty

Well well done She's just announced additional shows Melbourne and Sydney Just come through Breaking News It's bloody simple economics, guys. Maybe she heard you. Maybe she was listening from my heart. Thanks, Taylor.

Great to have you listening. She's like, maybe I could do another day, Jono. I'm always like, you've told me she's trudging a pool around the world as part of the stage. Apparently. Someone told me that, and now I'm starting to question whether that's a thing or not, but I've said it too many times on radio to back out of it. If you're lugging a pool from, buddy, Spain to Australia, you want to be in Australia as long as you can to earn as much money as you can out of those people.

But that's good news for everyone who missed out. Yeah. Now, yesterday I phoned the bank and I was, it's always these days, those lines are always busy for the bank or when you have to call someone in customer service. So I did it while I was driving. I knew I had a bit of time sitting in the car.

So I thought I'd call the bank because I was trying to get myself a new card because my card was about to run out. And one of the things I've noticed when you call the bank recently, you have to go, which I understand, you have to go through a whole lot of checks to prove you are the person whose account it is. Well, given the amount of scams that are, you know,

tornadoes of scams that are hitting us at the moment, yeah. Yeah, so entering in my, you know, my PIN, all those sorts of details. And then they put you through to a fun little message system where it's like a voice thing that recognises your voice. You have to say a sentence back, and you basically have to say your voice, and then that goes through and it recognises your voice and says you're all good to go. Aren't you like, surely you should recognise my voice?

I'm one of the 49 breakfast radio hosts in New Zealand Why don't I just say it's pink on the hits and they're like oh my god it's the guy who says it's pink on the hits It tells the time maybe you could go 8.29

weather's not looking good this weekend traffic's a bit busy where I'm driving Big win for Lotto last night Well no I had to go through to this voice activated area which was fine. But I was driving the car at the time, and a guy just went through, like, went through like a giveaway sign,

just straight through. And I almost hit him. It was quite scary at the time. And I got quite a fright. And I'm not a road rager or on the horn or anything, but I did say loudly, oh, F you effing Muppet, as I went through, Just ironically at the time. Just the wildest thing I've ever heard Ben say.

It wasn't loud, but it was, you know, like it was. He couldn't hear it. No, he couldn't hear it. You actually smiled and waved at him. Probably. But I got quite a fright because this person did not stop, just went straight through. I don't want to dogleg your chat, but just as a general rule at the moment,

when you're waiting at an intersection, you're expecting people to run through red lights. I know. You've actually got to wait. You buy it a second. You can't predict it. Yeah. And so as I said that,

it was the same time as I'd gone through from the guy who'd put me through to the voice activated system. So I was like, oh, I'll get a take two or something to redo my voice. But then straight away I went. It's not radio, mate. No, because straight away I had the voice automated message going, we were recording this, but trading or other legal.

You're like, oh, no. Now I've just said, out of the blue, you effing Muppets. And they, no, no context of what's going on like that. Now this is your worst nightmare. Look, I've said that about the bank, the guy at the bank. I'm like, oh, no, I'm on recording now on the bank they're definitely folding that around

on email yeah so if you do hear that recording if you work at the particular bank this was because of it wasn't because of the guy

there's a backstory yeah it wasn't because he didn't recognise my voice from the radio and the guy who says pink in the lotto results come on you muppet it's me

the guy no one quite knows our names but it's me the The guy. No one quite knows our names, but it's me. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. On a serious note, it is quite sad at the moment when you drive around. It's a very sad reflection on the state of the world at the moment, and New Zealand. You drive around, there's a lot of people at intersections now asking for money.

Oh, yeah, you're right. There seems to be more and more, yeah. And I always like to hand over money if they're knocking on the window or whatever they're doing or washing a windscreen and somehow managing to make it dirtier than it was when you pulled into the intersection.

The issue that I have is I just don't have coins. And it always feels like it's all cash. Yeah, well, they need to really transform the game and just wandered around the middle of the traffic just holding out a portable ATM machine. Everyone just like bang, bang, bang, tap and go with their credit cards. Yeah, well yeah, because I

always feel like it's a line going, sorry I don't have any cash, but I literally do not carry cash. You're right, if they had one of those things like on a stick and they just shove it into your car, pull it out, you donate what you want to. I know some charities have got that now too that you know because you're like no cash and they're like it's okay i knew you were gonna say that buddy because then they just pull this machine out of thin air you're like all right you got me i really didn't want to pay but now i've got no option uh

but yeah how good is it though when you're at the intersection and the person coming down in between the cars asking for money and the light goes green? How much do you like that? Be honest with me for once, Ben. Be honest. Well, yeah. That must be a great moment for you. Don't have to have that awkward I don't have cash conversation.

Sorry, mate. Toot, toot. Give it a honk of support. Even though I don't have cash, I always like to do the, I'm looking and like miraculously it's going to be like five dollars or something that's going to be like just so i look like i'll open my wallet or i'll just approve it you know like it's like i need to oh yeah sorry mate you know like opening things up you know like it's yeah i do that little dance as well uh but what i have noticed too is because it's obviously a busy it's a busy market out there

at the moment for people needing money and collecting money at intersections, is the signage system has come into play as well. Very popular in America. If you're in America, they've got signs you know, need money for food or need money for rent or whatever it is.

But one I really appreciated yesterday at the intersection was need money to get wasted Is that what it said? Yeah And I was like Damn I appreciate that honesty Because a lot of the times you're like

You're probably going to take that money and use it for Not what they're saying on the side I was like well that's a cause I can donate to mate Get it behind that one One of my favourite charity moments with you Was we were walking down two blocks away, weren't we?

Oh, that's right. That was probably one of the one times that I actually had cash. And for some reason I thought I had a $5 note because I got some money out for something

for the kids' school they needed. And then I went to open it up in front. It was quite a big crowd crowding around. And I was like, I've got cash,

I'll pay for this one. Yeah, and they're like, he's got cash. The bucket collectors came over. There was three of them there jingling their buckets. And I pulled out my $5 from my wallet, held it up and go, here you go, mate, waving it around. And then I looked at it and went, oh, dear God, no, that's a $50. This is for the kids' thing for school that I needed to give one of my daughters.

And I was like, but I'd already got it out and waved it around like I was going to give it. And I was, it was the most. They were like, oh, you can hear the gasp. And the crowd was gathering. I was like, get your phones out, guys. There's a new philanthropist in town. Step aside, Graham Hart. Yeah.

You know? And I reluctantly went, oh, and put it into the bucket. Was not happy about it. But hey, I helped out. Imagine how many mini bottles of cherry blossom hand sanitizer that 50 could have got you oh yeah lots and lots but it went to a worthy cause and you can't even remember what that cause is now