Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Jono the stalker...

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

ENTY on Taylor announcing her new album.  Ben achieves peak dad mode! Megan reveals she's terrified of this...  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Clipping Tuesday, that's a wonderful addition to the structure of the week I find. Yeah, my kids were talking about that yesterday actually. Their theory is we should all work or go to school Monday, Tuesday, have the Wednesdays off and then go Thursday, Friday back at it. And then you get the weekends off, you're sort of two on, a day off, two to, you know. It'd be nice. Just eradicate the most mundane days of the week. Yeah, I mean, they're not employers, obviously.

They may have a different story on that. Actually, speaking of which, this year's a leap year. And there's an employment lawyer for employment experts has come out to say that New Zealanders, if you paid, basically most New Zealanders work an extra day for free this year. Because you're working February 29th which you didn't work last year because most people

are getting paid either monthly or weekly or fortnightly well speaking of business owners they will appreciate you handing out that information to your boys

if you get paid by the day or paid by the hours you're obviously not what month is it that women pretty much start working for free you know with the the difference in pay.

Oh, right. I see what you're saying. The gender pay gap. Both of you guys are like awkwardly like. We don't worry about the gender pay gap. It doesn't affect us. We're fine, mate. We're middle-aged white men.

I'm sorry you have to work an extra day for free. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't hear you down there beneath the glass, mate. Tell you something. I can't hear you down there beneath the glass, mate. Tell you something, I can hear it. Stop mumbling. Stop mumbling. Maybe you'll get paid more. I'm moving on from that conversation.

Couch shopping. You guys know couch shopping? I haven't done this for many, many years. He really is moving on from that conversation. But I did that over the weekend as well. Can I just say, there's too many options. There are a lot of couches out there. You just spend your whole day sitting on couches and I'm like, oh, this is nice. Yeah, great.

And then my wife's like, I don't know. I don't know. And they're expensive too. And then when you do find a couch you like, they bring out some sort of fabric book of like, and you can get it in different shades of fabric. You know, in different shades of blue. You're like, I didn't need this now. And somewhere along the line, they've decided to name couches after people's names.

And that kind of irks me. Do you want Keith? I don't know if I can sit on Megan. The Tiffany. I like the couch, but I don't like the name. You start to know, you know, I know a Spencer. I like a Spencer. He's all right, you know.

But you start to associate. Yeah, it's like with baby names. Because you attacked your previous couch, didn't you? You thought there was a rat in there or something. Yeah, so we did need to upgrade our couch. And then we finally bought one after hours and hours of looking at couches that I felt were all the same. But my wife decided that she liked the couch.

Who did you go for, Spencer? I can't even remember what it was. There were so many different names. It wasn't Megan. There wasn't a Megan, I'm sorry. Megan didn't make the cut. But then we had the sign that said fast delivery. We were like, oh, this is great. Eight to ten weeks.

Maybe twelve. And I was like, how's a fast delivery? Depends what your definition of fast is. What was it otherwise? I don't know. Make sure. We think of fast delivery, I'm like, great, we're going to have a new couch by the weekend. What are you just sitting on swapper crates at the moment? Eight to twelve weeks maybe.

Yeah, so anyway, that's fast delivery in the couch world. We would love to know the worst start you've had to a day on 0800 The Hits. Every morning my husband gets our two little kids up,

takes them to daycare, goes to work. Bless him. But I text him every morning to see how he's going. Some mornings are better than others and I knew it was going to be a rough start when he sent me a voice memo instead of a text back

because usually a voice memo is like you don't have time to sit there and text you're just pressing record and going I don't know how I feel about voice memos where are you sitting with voice memos? I find that I don't have time to listen to this. You've got to get on board. Yeah, I know that because I become quite rambling.

Oh, hey, and so it's just a thing. And then five minutes later, you're at the end of this. This could have been tied up in a 15-word text. You've really got to collect your thoughts before you start recording. Yeah, you do. Bit of prep, bit like a radio show. Come on, prepare for the voice memo. You're right.

Was he prepared with this memo? I wasn't prepared for what I was about to hear, but I knew it was going to be rough. And he sent me this. We've had a very, very, very busy morning. Things did not go according to plan. I got Leo up, opened the door for him, but he didn't go out. So I went to go get the kids up.

That's our dog, Leo. And when I got back to the lounge he pooed in there And his butthole is all like Matty and blocked up. I think maybe that's why he Stressed food inside the house morning. I just have his butthole. So I did that What's he complaining about been did that for me this morning? Matty and blocked up You're like, I'll go give it here

Get the clippers out Yeah, that's not an ideal start to the day I'm glad you clarified it was the dog And not one of your kids A dog Yeah So not only did he have to get He's a little Bichon Griffin

Right Yeah He has a lot of issues With stuff coming out both ends It's a lot Yeah, right Sounds very matty issues with stuff coming out both ends. It's a lot. Yeah, right. Sounds very matty.

Very matty and clogged up. It's not an ideal start of the day. Probably a terrible start of the day when you line things up. This is one of the joys, though, I will say, about working at this time of morning. Yeah. I know. We do not deal with the morning rush at all. No. My poor wife, Jen, some morning she's sitting in traffic 90 minutes,

arrives at work, I'm like, good morning! She works in the office here and never complains. If it was me, I'd be a nightmare. I'd be voice memoing up a storm. Sitting in there for 45 minutes at this traffic light, you know? We don't have to deal with those stresses. Ben, I know you like to adopt if anything untoward has happened in the household overnight, any liquids or any fluids have expelled themselves from your animals.

You don't like to turn the light on and you ignore it. Yeah, it's best to just leave it there and pretend you... Oh, I didn't see the... Oh, it's dark. Yeah, he's got a clear conscience if he leaves the light off. Oh, you just say it definitely happened after I left the house. Yeah, exactly. Now, we're talking about the worst start to your day.

Andrew, your lovely husband. Yes, I got a voice memo from him. He dealt with everyone's butthole in my household. Two kids and a dog after he pooed on the carpet. Had to do a swift shave of the dog. Yeah, I mean, it's an enormous amount of that part of the body to have to deal with in the morning. And he sent you a voice memo detailing everything that had happened. He wants me to know that not all heroes wear capes.

And he just wanted to get it off his chest. He wants someone to know and to feel his pain. And right now he's got a nation of people feeling that pain. I mean, there'll be a lot of people driving to work right now listening to this going, well, at least I haven't shaved a dog's face. Things could be worse. It could be a lot worse. So, Abby, your

worst start to the day in Invercargill, what was it? Well, it was one day I woke up in an absolute panic because my alarm apparently didn't go off. And so I got out of bed in a hurry, got dressed, and I was almost halfway out the door and I realised,

oh, wait, it's my day off today. No wonder my alarm didn't go off. But that would be a good feeling too. Oh, it was awful because I normally start at like 6 o'clock in the morning. So after that, I couldn't go back to sleep. Yeah, but there is no better feeling when you have that little moment and you wake up, it's like 5 o'clock, 4 o'clock, and it's a Saturday morning. And you come to that realisation. It's a beautiful, great text coming through here as well, Abby, on 4487.

Lexi says, I was getting dressed for uh, pulled a muscle in my groin, putting on the, putting on pants there. The worst thing is when you have to do like an ACC form and you're like, I pulled my leg getting off the couch. Yeah. That's, that's a good sign that, uh, you've definitely hit a certain age demographic when you're just in yourself, putting on trousers or when you wake up and you get out of bed, you're like, why am I sore?

I've just been lying for eight hours. What did I do in the night? Kathy, well, she's got a good excuse. Her text says the worst start for her day was tripping over an exercise machine when she got up. Bruising. Bruising, blood taped up, still went to work, broken toe the next day. Oh, God. Chrissy, the fuse box and the fire caught fire while I was in the shower.

Fuse box in the household, house started burning down I mean that's She wins this competition Do you get dressed or do you Try and put it out naked or run out the house You probably should just run out the house right Listen I mean a towel's always an option If you can do anything not naked

It's probably the best option The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. So we like to do this once a week because we realise that sexy messages aren't really a thing when you're in big

and long term relationships like the three of us and like a lot of people listening right now. Yeah, sexy texties. So we just scroll through our phones

and pick out what are the most mundane text messages we've shared with our wives and husbands. Hit the music there, Producer Grace. It also does shine a light on how unsexy my sexy voice is too.

Is it possible to give yourself the, because I think I do it every week. Just looking back at the text, just like why do we text half these things as well too? This one comes from Jennifer, my wife. Three snapper, two scoops of chips, three potato fritters

and a deep fried sausage. Deep fried sausage sounds... It's getting hot and steamy in the kitchen. Thanks to the deep fryer at the fish and chip shop, I think. I also got a food related text as well. Sexy text from my wife, Amanda. These muesli bars are really yummy.

And I went, that's good. Did you buy the muesli bars? I did, yeah, I bought some muesli bars. They could be quite a sexy. What were the muesli bars? I actually don't know. They're like sexually in the muesli and bar form. Exactly.

So there you go, that's what we're texting about. You, Megan? Mine's food-related as well. My husband said, do you need any lemons or anything else from the supermarket? Or anything else. That's sexy. Maybe some muesli bars. They're really yummy.

I can put you onto some. Here's another one from Jen. Can you please pick up the dog poo on the lawn? It's everywhere. That's the only style of anything involving dogs in my household there is me going around the lawn tidying things up being boys i got the hrv guys at our place are you far away and i said leaving kmart now and she said okie dokie sexy wee little chat i mean that's that's high class flirting Right there isn't it

My husband sent me a text saying It's a shame it's not sunny today What else would you like to do I guess that could be sexy That sounds sexy doesn't it I completely missed that The Grammy Awards were on A couple of days ago

And one of the coolest moments Was Luke Combs, country music star, performing Fast Car with Tracy Chapman, her first performance in public for nine years. You gotta find this car. It's fast enough so you can fly away. We gotta make the decision. Leave tonight or live and die this way.

Dad would play me that Tracy Chapman self-titled album. That song, Fast Car, it was my favorite song before I even knew what a favorite song was. I've been playing that song since I could play guitar, honestly. I just love that song. He's a huge fan of that song. It's lovely. And he was mouthing along when she was singing, like off mic and just smiling the whole time. It was a really cool moment, actually.

It's a big one to come back to after nine years of absence performing the Grammys in front of you you're right no warm up gig but a number one song for you right now which is pretty cool pretty amazing

the Grammys incredible isn't it a whole bunch of famous people wearing clothes that normal people will never pull off and would never be able

to wear in town and get into a bar or restaurant you know I saw a guy on there with a leather gimp mask. Yes, that's right. That's Kelly Osbourne's partner.

He's in Slipknot. Yeah, that's right. You know, no one's going down to the viaduct in a leather gimp mask and getting into bloody Danny Dooms. Or maybe on a stag do, they'd try, right? And I showed you Doja Cat's outfit, which was see-through. Yeah. You noticed the tattoo on her forehead

before you noticed her areolas, so that's nice. I mean, you're not letting her into the Lone Star on a Tuesday night Sorry ma'am you're going to have to leave Now Megan you had some anxiety last night I'm feeling pretty tired today I don't know if anyone else gets this But I get like death anxiety So I'll watch

Like a movie or something And someone dies It can be as simple as that. I'm like, I'm going to die one day. And then it haunts me. And then I'm like, everyone I know is going to die. And it keeps me up at night. It's one of those things, yeah, I understand,

where the more you think about it, the worse you get. You kind of spiral on it. And then I'm like, when is it going to happen? What do I want to know? All of these thoughts go through my head. What do you want to know? This is what I think about as well. What do I want to know? Like all of these thoughts go through my head. Would you want to know? And this is what I think about as well. What do I want to know?

How and when? Because you can prepare for it but then do you want to? I want to know how much time I have left. Do you? Yeah. I don't know if I can.

Yeah, because then you're like, okay, well I can space out all the things that I want to achieve in life between now and the end date. And maybe you wouldn't sweat the small stuff as much, maybe. Wouldn't it be great if the day you're born, you're like, hey, congratulations, welcome to the world. Just so you know, it's going to end on August the 9th, 2072.

It's a long-term mortgage thing. You've got 40 years. Make the most of it. Okay, right. But my husband knows this about me, but where it came from last night is he was like, have you ever scrolled in your calendar on your phone? And I was like, no, I haven't. Have you ever

done it? You scroll and he was like, where does it end? Do you know that calendar? I think I got to 2,300 and Oh, the Google calendar. Oh, so it just keeps going through the years. It keeps going and going. I got to the point where I was like, I will be dead. Our kids will be dead.

Put an appointment for years in the future. Invite us all in and we'll accept it. He was like, you can do a little thing in 80 years time and see if you're still here. I was like, I won't be. It's just a never-ending calendar. It just keeps going. It's never-ending.

So you can literally see what day your birthday's on in 2300 and something or other day. So I'm sitting there panicking last night, and Andrew's like, oh, God, here we go. So he was like, do you know what? If you made it that far, you'd be so tired. You'd be happy it was the end. Mind you, if you've got bloody one of Musk's chips in your head,

you could be celebrating your birthday. So maybe I should set a wee reminder or like a note to myself. Alright, so some nice positive thoughts going out today though. What do you want? You know, like seeds a day. Seeds? Don't sweat the small stuff.

You never know how much longer you've got. That's right. And your career's kind of dead hanging out with us too. I might as well just pack it in. Part of you's already died. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I started this last week. I found this really, really cool.

These people that make versions of popular songs, but in children's lullaby style. Yeah, and the actual artists can't sue for copyright because it's too damn cute. Maybe that's the theory they're going on. Can't mount a legal case against cuteness. So what I'd like to do is put you guys to the test, Megan and Jono, and see if you can guess

who's the fastest to guess which of these songs, the names of these songs. Now Megan, last week wiped the floor with you. You did. You even vacuumed it after you wiped the floor with me. It was, but then I found out you may or may not have heard them as they were being loaded in these songs last week.

No, I didn't. I was doing other things. All right. Okay. All right. So now you've got them loaded in off-site being voiced the songs. Oh, God. They're shrouded in secrecy this time,

so much so that even I don't even know what the order they're in. They just say one, two, three, and four, so I'm going to have to try and work out if you guys are correct as well. Okay, here's the first lullaby. Try and work out which popular song this is. It's Chili's? Red Hot Chili Peppers peppers What's it called? Under the bridge

Eat it Eat it I would have thought Jono with the years We're gonna rock Would have gone that one I love the way you guys You guys start going

You know you got the tune It just takes a while With the brains registered Okay here we go Here's the second one Ba ba ba bum bum Ba bum bum With the brains registered. Okay, here we go. Here's the second one. I don't even know this tune. Elton John. Elton John.

Tiny Dancer. Yes, well done. Well done. All right, okay, here we go. There's another one. Oh, I don't know. I have no idea on this. Every sip you take, every move you make, is it the police? Well done, Megan.

Well done again. Beautiful. Let's go one more. The final one today. Taylor Swift. Say names. Well done, Megan. Three-one.

John, I got one today And just I don't know If we can try this one Next week Ben boys It's flipping it on it's head So taking lullabies And doing them in adult music

Twinkle twinkle Twinkle twinkle We can give it a go next week They're probably Easier because they do say The lyrics in that one But that's it We can do that A little jarring For this're probably easier because they do say the lyrics in that one, but that's it. We can do that. A little jarring for this whole morning.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Spilling the tea on Hollywood's A-listers. Kardashians. I have met every single one. Exposing scandals. She's not a good person, but either is he. Digging the dirt. Is she a diva?

Yes. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. It was a script. No. And finding out what's going on behind the scenes. Yelling at cast members. Yes. It was a script. No. His identity is a secret. But his stories have been proven right time and time again.

This is NT. From the glitz and glam of Hollywood to the shits and sham of New Zealand radio, welcome NT. How are you? I'm great. You come up with the best in every week. Speaking of which, the Grammys. Just saw some footage on social media of people drenched heading to the Grammys, having to take their shoes off walking into the event.

It kind of makes them look human, doesn't it? It does. Just like us. They get rained on just like us. Although I feel like the top tier, they wouldn't have had a drop of rain hit them. It felt like that. You definitely saw a lot of people with umbrellas making sure that Taylor Swift never saw a hint of a drop of rain on her.

Good. She doesn't deserve a drop of rain on her. Rihanna would have been fine, obviously. Ignore that one. That's fine. Now, lots to unpack with the Grammys. Obviously, Taylor Swift, another huge night, and she played it so well again announcing a new album yeah come on don't do that oh here's my thing taylor swift

would i would think we would agree right now is probably the biggest star on the planet yes yeah you know her followers will do whatever she says and i just think that hijacking the Grammys to basically announce an album that, you know, everybody that she's been teasing since October. Why couldn't you just after the event just said, hey, by the way, my new album is coming up and just put it on Instagram instead of just trying to make the story always about you? Do you reckon she knew she was going to win? Yeah. I mean, the Grammys, they will rig the nominations, but they don't really rig the actual voting or whatever. But she knew that she wasn't going to win, you know, record of the year. She knew she wasn't going to win song of the year. She'll never win song of the year because it's a songwriting award and the songwriters don't like her. And she wasn't going to win record of the year because it was either going to be Miley who won or Billie Eilish so she go okay

albums my you know my chance to talk about it and you know everybody knew that she would probably win because SZA wasn't going to win because black women don't win that award so yeah I'm sure it was it was very planned Celine Dion and Taylor Swift people were saying they was there some sort of shade thrown by Taylor? See, this is again, you know, it's like the whole focus always has to be on Taylor. So Taylor wins and she doesn't acknowledge Celine Dion at all. And so the internet went crazy. And of course, you know, her people see that.

And so five minutes later, you know, she's hugging Celine, making sure that it gets photographed and then sent out everywhere. I did see that photo and I did think it was a little bit orchestrated. She's like, look at my best friend, Celine. I know. See, that's the thing. It's like, OK, she's she inadvertently I don't think that she intentionally snubbed Celine Dion. But, you know, so inadvertently she does that. And the whole Internet goes crazy.

So immediately, you know, the publicity team, you know, OK, well, we've got to fix this. Go hug. Go find Celine hug her and then we'll get this picture out to everybody and we'll say look there was nothing look they're hugging everything's great they're best friends I know she didn't deliberately do it but everything that Celine's been through and she's standing up in front of you how do you not acknowledge her because taylor thinks about taylor and remember we already know that she's gonna announce the new album she's thinking about that or whatever it's always about taylor it's about nobody else doesn't your friend does pr for her doesn't doesn't she and i love tree i love her she's a kind and generous and wonderful person i will

never have a bad word to say about tree but But at some point, it becomes overdone. And the problem is that when you get to that point of oversaturation, there is always some kind of horrible pushback. No disrespect to your friend, but she must have the easiest job in the world, PR for Taylor Swift at the moment. Anything she does, it creates PR. Yeah, but the problem is it's easy because, yes, Taylor gets publicity no matter what. But at the same time, easy because, yes, Taylor gets publicity no matter what.

But at the same time, something where, like I said, probably an inadvertent, you know, just not paying attention to what she should be doing with Celine Dion, all of a sudden just gets blown up to way more than it would be if, say, Billie Eilish had done it. And so then you've got to correct that. And, you know, it's a lot of work. Well, that ends our weekly update of what Taylor swift's been doing over the last seven days nt look after yourself over there in the rain keep safe and we'll catch up this time next week mate all right you guys have a great week the hits the jonah and ben podcast we just spoke to ntr hollywood uh insider and he was going in

on her basically saying she hijacked the grammys now, the collateral is there's a bit of fallout in the studio. Megan, you believe she did exactly the same thing. Ben, you're trying to come to her defense. Yeah, exactly. Can I preface this? I'll preface this by saying I do like Taylor Swift. I am a fan, not a fanatic. But I do think that wasn't the right time.

You were having a go at her just while we were talking. You're saying, oh, she was dancing to Olivia Rodrigo, my favourite artist right now. Which I didn't say anything bad about Olivia. No, you didn't, thank you. Otherwise it would have been, oh, the conversation. No, Olivia's great. Yeah, but she was dancing to her song Vampire up there

and you were like, oh, making it about her. I'm like, what? If she was sitting there with her arms folded, you'd be going, oh, look at her. She's not even getting into it. No, so there's rumours of beef between them. I'm like, what? If she was sitting there with her arms folded, you'd be going, oh, look at her. She's not even getting into it. No. So there's rumors of beef between them.

So to squash it, it's the room full of industry, right? So everyone's sitting down enjoying the music. But Taylor is standing up and like dancing crazily. It's Olivia Rodrigo. Of course you're going to get up and dance. I know. But like then the cameras were all on Taylor again. It's like just sit down.

There is a way to sit down and enjoy it. The only two people who've been in that room standing up dancing would be Ben Boyce and Taylor Swift or Olivia. I love you, Olivia! Do you not think that's just a... Stop making it about yourself, Ben. Do you not think it's a little bit attention-seekery? It is. But that's the industry they're in.

That's the industry they're in. No one else. Everyone's got albums dropping. The whole industry does. No one else got up's got albums dropping. The whole industry does. No one else got up there and was like, oh, by the way, my album's dropping. Oh, Celine Dion who? Well, fair play. I think it's a smart move by Dallas Swift.

Well, the industry we're in is radio, okay? And we get up really early. Now, I have a dilemma on my hands rolling coverage at the moment. My son's bedroom is slowly starting to smell like death. Now this is not prepubescent teenage boy Lynx Africa mixed with musty socks death. This is the smell of death.

Something is decomposing. So you reckon what, under the house? Under the house or in the roof and I can't find I was looking around the night with the torch couldn't find anything, trying to smell it, you know, and you try and ignore it for a couple of days. You're like, no, surely not.

Surely not. And then it gets to the point where you're like, we cannot ignore this wall of death that greets you when you open it. He can't sleep in the room at the moment. Oh really? That bad? So here's my dilemma. Noble, got a guy called Noble. He's a great pest guy, you know, sorts out pest stuff.

Yeah. Is it too early to text the trades at 6.30 in the morning? I'm wanting to get in early before other people get to it. Oh, trades will be up and about, won't they? Surely. Trade people listening right now, 4487, when's too early to text you about an appointment today? Because I wanted to get in 20 minutes ago, to be honest.

What would you do? Would you text now? I'd probably wait till 7. I feel like 7's a respectable time. It's not too early that if they get woken up. It's 20 minutes away, though. I need to do it now. I'm impulsive.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, just threw it out there. Is it too early to text the trades before 7 o'clock in the morning? A flurry of texts. Yeah. Granted, from people who are already up and awake. Yeah. Never too early to text the trades.

Just message them first. Usually all trades are up and at them by 6 o'clock. Yeah, right. That's a fair point. 7 o'clock is too late, says friend. You want to get in before 7 with the trades if you're texting text fine any hour we will always take work that's from the trade that's from the horse's mouth so i'll text him now it's good to know actually it's good to know because you do sometimes wonder about those things i always think if you

don't want to be woken up like you have your phone on do not disturb until you're ready right do you think it's on you because Because Ben also has an issue with the time that I email people. Yeah, I've gone into the scheduling of emails so you can schedule it for a while. No, you can email at any time. That's what I think. Any time of the day or night. I'm firing them off at bloody 3 in the morning 4 in the morning. It's too early.

It's too early for some people because some people have notifications. That's on you. Turn it off. Okay. I'll text Noble now and we'll see if he replies back Okay By the end of the ad break A little trick my friend says though You know how you can schedule emails to go off at different times

He's like don't ever do it on the hour Do it at like, you know, 4.01 Because everyone knows it's a schedule thing If it comes through directly on the hour of something If you put it at 4.01 in the morning Like, oh jeez, he's up early at Adam, you adam you know but i know because ben boyce prolific emailer i don't know if you've noticed that over the couple of weeks we've been working together high profile emailer uh but then you know when he scheduled them because they come through it 701 702 703 704

exactly the hits the jonathan ben podcast i'm going to probably talk about my lowest All calm and collected. Exactly. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I'm going to probably talk about my lowest moment as a grown adult. Oh, really? It just happened Monday, Monday afternoon, actually. So it was before Waitangi Day. And my son Oscar and me and Poppy, my daughter, were in the car. And lo and behold, walking down the footpath, just walking down the footpath, the humble suburban footpath of New Zealand was UFC champion Israel Adesanya. Oh, wow.

Just by himself. Really? You know, how cool is this country when someone of this man, this man's stature internationally, he's a huge deal. Yeah, big deal, right? Huge deal. Just wandering down a suburban footpath. And I went, look, Oscar, it's Israel Adesanya.

And he's like, oh. He's like, this is the closest I have been to the most famous person I'll ever get in the same vicinity of. And he's like, pull over. I'll ask him for a photo. And I was like, no, no, no, no. Would you not interrupt Israel Adesanya? He's just walking down the suburb. You let him be. We let him be. And I said, I no, no, no, no. Would you not interrupt Israel out of sight? He's just walking down the subway. You let him be.

We let him be. And I said, I've got an alternative. Oh, God. Why are you going, oh, God? Because I was waiting for this story to take a turn, and there's the turn. There's the turn, yeah. There's the turn.

Well, where do you think it's coming? I don't know. I feel like you're driving around. Did you yell out the window and get him to take a selfie? Didn't yell. No, didn't yell. So what I did is I calmly drove past. He wouldn't have suspected a like you're driving around. Did you yell out the window and get him to take a selfie? Didn't yell. No, didn't yell. So what I did is I calmly drove past. He wouldn't have suspected a thing.

Oh, God. Then I U-turned around a side street. And then I drove back past him the other way. And then it looped around again. And so now I'm stalking him in the car. Oh, so you've done multiple U-turns. Multiple loops. Were there a lot of cars?

It was quiet. It was quiet. It was quiet. So he definitely saw you going round and round. I said, no, now you can take your photo. My son's like, from the car? He's like, yeah, but leave it with the window up. He's like, why am I capturing an image of the back of Israel Adesanya's head as he's walking down the street?

I was like, because we don't want to make it weird. He's like, we don't want to make it weird. We've made don't want to make it weird we've made it look at what we're doing now yeah you've made it weird so i just want to publicly apologize to israel uh if he noticed anything suspicious so what your son got a photo but not no a blurry grainy photo through the window the back of his head just so we could leave the man to be so if he did feel maybe he was walking down the road you always know if someone's kind of behind you don't you yeah if you had a suspicion someone was stalking you in a car well they were and it was me yeah so instead of momentarily asking politely if you could take his photo you stalked him and made

him feel uncomfortable and i did the new zealand thing yeah i did the back of jack black's head the other day from behind didn't again didn't ask him for a photo leave him be leave him be but secretly took a photo as he left this is what we should do let please text 4487 have you got the photo of the back of a celebrity's head yeah and we just put them all up on on social media yeah The greatest shots of the back of celebrities' heads. You didn't want to bother them, but you still wanted to, at least because people don't believe that you ran. You're like, what's up?

Look, it's the back of his head. Why don't you get a photo of them? Because we didn't want to make it weird. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Lovely John Aitken. Always love hanging out with John Aitken, the relationship expert from the show. Whenever John comes in, I feel like we're talking to a man who's exhausted.

He's exhausted from dealing with the worst Australia has to offer. And he's such a nice guy and he just has to deal with, you know, ratbags. The worst in humanity. You know, there's some interesting people on that show, aren't there? And we hadn't seen the program, but he did say this in the interview. You know, I thought I'd heard it all. You're going to see, hands down, the worst ever best man speech you'll ever hear.

Oh, that's a good tease, John. It starts out badly and then just gets worse. Well, as in, he's trying for humour, or? I think he's trying for shock. So we were intrigued. We're're like how bad is it uh and it's it was pretty bad like we have to beep and censor a lot of the content from the speech he didn't quite read the room i don't know what room he would he would be delivering this the speech in but it wasn't this one it's an interesting balance the best man

speech isn't it you know because often that feels that feels like they want to make a few jokes and impress the lads. You got the boys. You want to make the boys laugh, Megan. Humorous. About the boys. Not inappropriate for Nan. Doesn't really go down.

But then you've got relatives, aunties, uncles, grandmas. And it's a wedding too. It's about a couple coming together. They don't want to hear about lads chat. Listen, we'll play you some of it. Obviously, a lot of it's a wedding too. It's about, you know, a couple coming together. They don't want to hear about lads chat. Listen, we'll play you some of it. Obviously a lot of it's censored. You probably won't get what he's talking about. But the room were flawed.

Is it okay to get in the ER since you crashed your car and you're here now anyway? And Sarah, you can find solace in the fact, rancid or not, Tim will still *** you. Ben's speech was really derogatory. I thought it was disgusting. Ben's speech. We're going to clip that off and we're going to use that for many years to come. The lads liked it though. The lads had a laugh.

But you just know. You just know. He ran that past some stone-faced, emotionless TV producer who gave him the confidence to go into that room and read those words out loud. I wouldn't be surprised if they wrote it for him. They're like, hey, mate, we've got a touching little speech for you. Read it.

The team will love it. How dare he ruin a wedding that was set up for a television show. Yeah. People that didn't know each other. It was destined to last. How dare he ruin it. I don't know you and I'm never going to see any of you again. Maybe there's something in bad speeches at weddings.

And if there's bad speeches, it's not going to last. My first wedding, there was a bad speech. At your one? Yeah. Which a lot of people bring up all the time to me. It's something we try to hide, that Megan's on her second marriage. We don't want the show to be known for this lady who's going around having multiple marriages. Divorce, eh?

The first one didn't work out. No, and it was my first mother-in-law made a speech. I don't know if I was just not really paying attention or I was a bit overwhelmed with the whole scenario, but there was a lot of money chat. In her speech? Yeah, and she started telling my husband, my new husband, that he should watch where the money comes in and where the money goes out. That was the quote.

In front of everyone? Yeah. Wow. I was like, wait, is she trying to say that I'm like... How did that land? Did that bring a few chuckles in the room? No, absolute tumbleweed. I feel like this is a conversation you two could be having behind closed doors.

I was like, wow, I'm pretty much saying that I'm a gold digger and spending the money. I mean, not untrue, but... And you got a lot out of the marriage. Yeah. That's the main thing. That's why you're only a second one, right? The Hits, the jonah and ben podcast talking uh shocking wedding speeches after there was a shocking one i'm married at first sight australia i was part of one once a response many years ago

and i wasn't even meant to be speaking that was the thing my friend who was the best man at the time i wasn't even part of the bridal party like like the groomsman or anything, but he just got up and went, oh, Ben's going to make the speech. I pulled you out of the crew. And I just went, what? Oh, you had no idea. No idea, just as a gag. But I remember someone just looking at me going,

oh, come on, mate, you could at least say something. And then the audience turned on me, and I'm like, oh, what? The audience turned on him like people are starting to turn on Taylor Swift popularity at the moment. I was like, but this wasn't, this was what? You talk on the radio all the time. Get up there and make us laugh.

I know, but I wasn't in a mental position or a physical position for it. So I mumbled a few words in front of everyone and everyone went, oh, that was a bit weak from him. And then I sat down. I love it when you're like, I'm not in a mental or physical position right now to be doing this wedding speech. I had no thought into it. And it really showed.

And then even critiques you after. Everyone was like, oh, mate, I thought you worked at media and stuff. I was like, honestly, I had no idea I was doing that. And we had the bride from that wedding calling up. Anna is with us. Welcome, Anna. How are you? I'm doing okay this morning.

Yeah, well, good stuff. Lovely to have you on New Zealand's Breakfast. This was at your brother's wedding. Yeah, yeah. So he was best man and he's just under the brother that was getting married. So the eldest of us was getting married. It's like the first of all the children to be getting married, like a super special occasion, Queenstown wedding. You know, people paid a lot of money to be there. And for context as well, like I think I spent a month

working on my very meaningful speech. You would have done a better job than ben by the sounds of it come on ben you work in media mate could say something exactly and it was kind of like trying to trying to make it as meaningful as possible and when it came to it liam asked me to go before him i was supposed to go last and i was super nervous and so we had an argument about this and he was like, no, no, no, you need to go first. And so I did my very meaningful speech and then I sat down and he got up there and he told stories about all of us four siblings,

especially Judah, shitting his pants. Oh. Like, literally, all he came with for the wedding of our dream, of everyone's dream, and he talked about how Judah had shit his pants for the wedding. Really zeroing down on the descriptive word there. People get confused with 21st speeches, eh? Yeah, they do.

They do. I mean, but, you know, out of a lifelong, a whole life of living with your brother, he's really focused in on this. Yeah. Poor memory. Yeah, he saved mine for last. My totally embarrassing, very private story. And so I think he tried to make me go first in an effort not to embarrass me,

like for me to go up there after he just told everybody about me crapping my pants. Now you say crapping. All right. Now you censor. Three and a half minutes in. Sorry, sorry. No, don't worry, mate. It's all a laugh.

I tell you what, Anna, the kids need to hear it. Okay? The kids listening, they need it more. Actually, if you've got any other ones, you can check it out check out there there's a character get on learning life's lessons on the way to school the hits the Jono and Ben podcast yeah now something my family have noticed uh over because we were on holiday for a few weeks and then yesterday was a holiday uh something that I'm doing and they reckon I've reached peak dad mode oh Oh, peak dad mode. You bought some big, thick rubber jandals from the warehouse? Quite at that stage.

But this comes when my body clock, basically, has reached peak dad mode, they think. And I think it's to do, personally, with getting up for this job because you get up quite early, so your body clock is used to getting up early, even when you have days off. You're still asleep in these days is not what asleep in used to be. And I'm very

different to the other people the family and my daughter sienna uh yesterday accused me of what i well this is basically what i do in the morning in the holidays have a listen what's your problem well you know how you wake up really early yeah which is fine you're good but then you start my day off like it's gonna be fine but anyway start my day off with oh you're finally're finally up. I've walked the dog. I've gone to the supermarket. Oh, I've had a coffee. I've done this. I've done that.

And I'm like, okay, well, I've just gotten up. You don't like to know all the things I've done? No, because I was... Because I told you in the kitchen, or I did some work after that coffee. I had some breakfast, and you've just got up. Yeah, and then you didn't even try to wake me up, so you can't be complaining. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying stuff.

Yes, annoying. I can see how that would passive-aggressively make the other members of the household feel lazy. You're coming out with your shopping list of... Oh, someone's awake. What time are you going to the supermarket? Oh, mate, it's almost over. It's a good couple of hours you've got to do stuff. So I'm getting stuff done.

But I get it. Like, she's just woken from a slumber. She doesn't want to hear about all the great stuff you've done while they've been sleeping. It seems to be saying how lazy they are. Well, that wasn't the point, but she reckons it's peak dad mode. It's the dad getting up early and just saying stuff that they've been doing. I feel like it's also a guy thing.

You just, like, every time you do something, you always have to list it off and explain what you did. Just so that everyone knows and you get yourself a medal. Yeah, I always think peak dad mode is, you know, when you go into like a garage or a shed and there's like a wooden thing stuck to the wall and they've got their tools dangling from the wall. But then they've drawn with vivid the outline of the spanner. You're like like you've definitely

hit peak dad mode when you're doing the crime scene investigation of your tools on the wall you know you're doing that too oh the neighbor's still got the spanner yeah if you're like here's a message to all the dads out there if you're taking time out of your day to draw with the vivid around a wrench attached to your wall you need to go inside and spend more time with your family. Maybe that's where the dads want to be. I don't know. You've definitely run out of stuff to do out there. Okay.

If you've hit that point of tidying the shed.