Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Jono's Fish & Chip Nightmare...

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

The awkward moment Jono ran into at a fish & chip shop! Ben's pick up car shocker! The Gen Z GPS Paper Map Challenge... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. You know you do things in your life and you just cringe at what you've done. And we had a meeting the other day at work and they were like, these are the moments that you need to talk about on the radio. Where you're like, I don't want to tell this story, but they're like, tell the story. I'm in one of those positions, Ben. Oh really? Okay, so Sunday night, usually

we have fish and chip Friday but you know I like to alliterate my meals with the days of the week but we had fish and chips on Sunday so it was snapper Sunday I guess and ordered the fish and chips, went into the local fish and chip shop and they're lovely people, lovely people

and they said uh oh your order's gone missing. Someone else must have taken your order. And I was like, hey, that's fine. These things happen. So then we waited in the car for 20 minutes or whatever and came back. And they're like, here's your order. And then I got home and they were dead cold.

Dead cold. So I was like, well, I think that my fish and chips were there the whole time. They didn't sit in. They'd just been sitting there. Yeah, right. Now I'd had one of those frustrating days, you know, where just things go wrong. Yeah. So I phoned up the fish and chip shop, and I was a bit grumpy.

Yeah. I wasn't like Tom Cruise yelling at the cast of Mission Impossible. Oh, that's right. You remember he was yelling at them about COVID restrictions. That's right. That was during COVID times, wasn't it? Wasn't that heated. Yeah.

But probably more sort of Mike Hosking frustrated with Chris Hipkins and the Labour government. Yeah. Frustrated. It was a little bit snappy. Like the snapper. Like the snapper. And they're like, oh, what do you want?

Would you like to credit for next time? Would you like a refund? Oh, I'd like a refund. So I came in and they were like frantically cooking the fish and chips frantic i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and sort of handed them over apologetically and then yesterday i'm like that was a dick move i was in a full dick mood and a radio host a narcissistic radio host worst nightmare is uh people maybe not liking them yeah you know and i thought she's this could this could tail spin into a james corden situation

oh yes james corden rudely sent back a meal because his wife was allergic to it and he's like oh the gall of james corden i was like okay now i need to do some patch up work here some some damage control so i went and bought some uh some cabri roses oh yeah okay so then i went in there with the cabri roses and uh an apology card that's nice walked in there and i was like hey man my behavior the other night was not acceptable i'm really really sorry uh you don't deserve that you're just doing your job you know i feel terrible i feel terrible and uh she was giving me a look of like i can't remember this has affected me in no way at all but i've turned it into a giant thing of my head yeah and she was kind of like took the rose and she's like oh no you take them that's fine i was like

well no i bought them they're apology apology chocolates you gotta tell them she's like i don't really okay well thank thank you thank They felt like more of an inconvenience To the poor lady So the moral of the story Yeah If you feel like you've done bad Don't buy apology chocolates Just get on with life

Because no one cares Well in your case That's the lesson That's the lesson you've learnt That's what you're taking out of it The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast Last night was the final of the TV show Tracked

Where teams of two They're in the New Zealand wilderness and they have to evade special forces who are trying to track them down like a game of hide and seek. And it was won by Gabe and Riley. Good boys! Come on! Well done, there it is! $100,000!

And they join us in the studio now, Gabe and Riley, welcome. Cheers, mate. Nice to meet you guys. What was it like to film? Because it's pretty epic. I mean, you're in the middle of New Zealand, some epic countrysides, mountains. What's it like to film? It was, without a doubt, the most incredible experience of our lives.

I think it was scary, it was challenging but but overall it was it was just so much fun like how did you guys know you're going to be good at this because you you guys you know your mates you go hunt together but how'd you know you'd be good for the show um just knowing the landscape and knowing how long it's going to take us to get to point a to point b really just being experienced in the bush are you like damn now we can evade authorities it must be kind of freaky knowing that they're always kind of there and they're always on your tail yeah like they're always right there you don't know if they're two meters behind you or two k's behind you so

that's the scariest part about it yeah and there's a camera person with you as well that i keep going well how they're gonna slow you down too probably probably. There was eight of them. We had all eight, and all eight were great bastards. Oh, that's cool. They were lovely people. It would be awkward if you're like, seven of them were great bastards, one of them was just a... And so they're having to keep up with you, obviously, the whole time. Yeah, they are.

They were on a pretty intensive fitness program beforehand, and they've got a big, you know, it's not just a small little iPhone they're filming with, it's this big massive thing they're holding over their shoulder. And they can't be like, wait up, wait up for us, because they've got to keep, you know, it's not just a small little iPhone they're filming with, it's this big massive thing they're holding over their shoulder. And they can't be like, wait up, wait up for us, because they've got to keep up with you. It's a one-time shoot. You're $100,000 richer as well.

Any idea what you want to spend the money on? Because conservation's kind of your thing, right? Yeah, yeah, we're really passionate about conservation, both on land and in the water as well. So you're giving all $100,000 to conservation? That's good. Hang on, hang on, hang on. They're into it.

Not that into it. So that's a life-changing amount of cash, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Especially for two 20-year-olds. Yeah. Jesus, 20. Even younger than I thought you were. And what are you going to do, 50-50?

Yeah, 50-50. And we've got a small business called The Weekend Mish. We just film our adventures all around the country. And so put a bunch towards funding trips and expeditions and keep smashing it, hopefully. Now, what was it like? Vinnie Jones obviously hosted the show. And I only really know him from Lockstock.

Yeah, I'm a football legend as well too, right? Yeah. And he seems like, just from what I know from the movie, you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Vinnie Jones. Is he like that in real life? Yeah, he's pretty straight up. What you see of Vinnie Jones is what you get. He will tell you what he thinks straight away.

He's pretty ruthless. Did you start crying at any point? I was close, I was very close. He's a great guy. He means well, but he's not afraid to tell you when he's not happy so were you getting told off camera as well

yeah a little bit what was the biggest telling off Vinnie Jones gave you oh he wasn't happy that we were banding up with Team Red

while we were on the show he was not happy at all about that not happy and so he's pulled you aside to have a word is he yeah there or thereabouts.

Told us we need to stop being puppets. We need to be independent. We need to man up. Yeah, man up. I imagine there's a few swear words sprinkled in there, was it? Yeah, a lot of swear words sprinkled in there. Once you get over the age of 18, no one likes being told off, eh? As an adult, you're like, oh, so awkward.

Do you know my son? Over one New Year's we were walking along the beach in Whangamata and he's like I've got an idea for a TV show

there's these people and they're running away and the authorities are trying to catch them he'd come up with a format of track and then we sit down

about a week later and then the ad for the show's like would you like to be on a show he's like they've stolen my TV show idea

really nice to meet you and well done. Can't wait to see what you guys get up to next. Thank you very much. Thank you for having us. Gabe and Riley from Tracked, the winners, $100,000 winners from the first ever series of Tracked. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. And the authorities are quite worried,

and I was surprised by this story. They found a wallaby in the Manawatu-Wanganui region. Just yesterday it was discovered someone spotted a wallaby and they're quite worried about it. It seems like they're saying it could basically, it could breed

if there's a lot of wallabies and suddenly it will take up one third of the wildlife in New Zealand. Could be wallabies within 50 years. Really? Yeah, and they're worried about all the things that it eats as far as affecting the other plants and other wildlife and stuff as well.

Livestock and cattle. But it's like, wow, really from finding one, to them dominating the entire species. One third of Aotearoa in New Zealand within 50 years. They're fertile, mate. Don't you worry about them. Aren't they just? Prolific too. They're fertile, mate. Don't you worry about that one. Aren't they just? Prolific too.

They're doing more bloody thrusting than your dog, Bo. Yeah. So they've set up a website, reportwallabies.nz. So we're ready to go there. It's big, big news in New Zealand. One wallaby.

It feels like... Does it feel a little bit like COVID? You know, we're like, we're going into lockdown, guys. We've got a website! Get a website! Yeah. You know, it feels like, we're going into lockdown. We've got a website. Get a website. Yeah. You know, it feels like, yeah, two-meter distance.

If you see the, be kind to the wallaby, what are the other things you've got to do? Wear a mask. It feels like a website. It's a huge link to make. When did they discover the wallaby? Well, I thought it was, it was obviously just recently. Just recently.

I thought it was this week. To get a website up and running in that period of time. Maybe they've had the website and they're like, it's time to launch the site. Yeah, so there you go. We might be in lockdown at some stage for wallabies over the next little 24 hours.

And then I love it when we're like, someone saw a sea snake. Like if we get one sea snake within our waters, it's almost shut down time. You can just hear Australia laughing at us from across the Tasman, can't you? Went to Australia.

They're so freery. They're very carefree with their animals. Yeah. Yeah. I was holding a koala once. I told that story before. A koala. If I could describe the smell of a koala, Ben, you'd be used to this,

the smell of the devil's lettuce. Yeah, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. And I couldn't figure out if it was the koala that smelled like it or the zookeeper. It was pretty chilled out, the zookeeper. It was.

So maybe it was. With glassy eyes. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. I had a bit of a shocker yesterday, actually, speaking of cars. You were talking yesterday about how you got something delivered. The courier came over and delivered something. Oh, and he said, I need to get a photo proving that the package arrived and i picked up the package

and posed with it like i was a sort of a model you had a shocker but i had a shocker because i was confident that i could save on the delivery fee for something we purchased a small set of drawers and i was like i can pick this up i can save the 60 i can go out and pick this up he's gone a cnc a click and collect yeah Yeah, and I was like, oh, sweet. So I was like, no, no, this is my wife. I'll go out there, I'll pick it up, and it'll be fine. I laid down, you know, back of the car. I was like, plenty of room.

Went out there to the place, and I handed the piece of paper, and they said, oh, someone will be out shortly with what you've got. Someone came out with one of those little trolley things, a little flat pack thing. I'm like, chuck it in. Buff it in. Click it in. Good to go.

Textbook. Just about, shut the boot, just about to go out of the car park get a knock on the window and a guy's like hey i think you might have put my package at the back of your car oh not a textbook no i just arrogantly thought that one was for me it was someone else that was waiting in the car park i was like oh sorry mate sorry sorry so i had to help the guy take it out and put it in his car. And I was like to the person there, I'm still waiting on my flat pack thing to come back. And they're like, yeah, no worries. We're getting that now. Was there a line of people and did you just walk to the front? Yeah, I must've just thought we're all waiting outside. And I just thought it was for me. So the next one came out, I had a look at the name. I'm like, yep, that's for me. Put it in there. Thanks very much. Drove off, got home. And then I

ride back inside the house. I was like to amanda my wife i was like see hey well good package great and then we went to start putting the thing together and then i read on the box box one of two i never want to see box one of two what do you do you hide that intel no well well no because it was there was things that were essential to putting together the things. I had to go back out there. The poor person's like outside with the flat pack. The box two of two. Yeah, they'd come back out after I'd left for box two or two.

See, that's where you'd usually blame a courier company. Yeah. Throw them under the bus. You're right. Well, I'm blaming myself, that's for sure. You know, click and collect, sorry. When you're at the supermarket and you're walking in And you're like Oh god

I can't be bothered With the next 45 minutes Of my life And then the air of arrogance About people who are Clicking and collecting Yeah Just waltzing on

And they put it At the front of the store as well Yeah Well look at me I'm an organised shopper Organising the rest of us You poor schmucks The Hits

The Jono and Ben Podcast Now Ben Can I check Okay 0800 the hits 4487 If we get some calls Great on this one

Are you in the Service industry Or you know Trade industry Because I want to know Do you like being Bantered to While you're doing

Your job Right Spark An electrician came over A Sparky Yesterday And He was fixing fixing the lights.

And the whole time, I'm just barraging him with banter. And halfway through, I'm like, this must be bloody frustrating. I wouldn't imagine it would happen all the time for someone like that. No. Most of the time, I'd be like, hey, how's it going? Good. All right, cool. That's where it is.

I'll leave you to it. We'll catch up at the end. Yeah, I was asking all sorts of stuff that just did not matter. I was like, what's the worst electric shock you've got? He's like, oh, I haven't been too bad. Just had to go to A&E once. He was telling me a crazy story. Back in the day, wild time for electricity in New Zealand.

Sort of 60s, 70s. The power companies would have their Christmas parties at the generator rooms you know like where the big generators are oh yeah you know

fun family day out HQ back at HQ back at HQ and then they would walk into the room with the generators

and just find a pair of shoes and socks and pants someone had gone in and touched it and been blown to smithereens. What? Like, yeah, at the Christmas party.

It's a rumour. The power industry back in the day here in New Zealand. Feels like a Christmas party at a power station wasn't a prime socialising location. Especially if people are going, like, exploding and going missing. Like, oh, they exploded. I said, what happened to them?

They just, so much electricity and power, they just discombobulate, just disappear. Never to be seen again. But yeah, halfway through, I'm like, this poor electrician just wants to get on with the job. And I'm just sitting here. You and me, we feel obliged to

fill in dead air. But you don't have to stay with them like a buddy. You know that. You can just talk to them briefly and then kind stay with them like a buddy you know you know that you can just talk to it briefly and then kind of leave them to it yeah i know but i didn't but it was in the same room that i was all right i see why i felt weird that you know we're just sitting in silence yeah gotcha i see why you're doing it we were talking about this the other day actually a friend of mine when she goes to the hairdressers she's she doesn't talk to them because well she does but then she tries to give them time off remember we're talking about that and then he dresses yeah he just and she was like

well they talk all day i feel like i should be polite but then go hey have the next half hour where you don't feel like you have to make small talk with me does she say that to them though you know she's like hey if you don't need to want to talk you don't have to talk which is good you know that's a bloody industry that's an industry thatez, they must have to do some light banter from start to finish. All day long. Yeah. Hearing about all sorts of bits and pieces. Someone's texting 4487, hey guys, I work

on a building site. Yeah, it's probably best if you don't spend your time talking to us so we can get on with the job. Hey guys, I'm a hairdresser. I love it when the clients talk to me. Maybe it's a front footer at the beginning. So when the electrician walks in, I'm a hairdresser. I love it when the clients talk to me. Maybe it's a front footer at the beginning. Yeah. So when the electrician walks in, I'll be like, are you a talker or not a talker?

Oh, you can do that on Uber now. Can you? You can just say, do you want conversation or not conversation? This world is just getting so convenient. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, we're heading there tomorrow. Yeah, we are. We're heading to the field days with the Hidipotamus, where you can win some money if you have a

photo with the Hidipotamus, where you can win some money if you have a photo with the Hidipotamus, the official mascot of the station and the show. And producer Taylor, new to the country-ish, and just sort of said, how far away is Hamilton?

And we explained how far away it was, and we kind of got talking, and Taylor said, oh, I'll just use Google Maps. Yeah, because we've got to navigate there, and then we're going

to Cambridge on Friday morning to a cafe as well for the show. So, yeah, there's a bit to do on Google Maps. And we thought how easy it is having Google Maps, right? Yeah, because it'll even estimate you like how much time it'll take you to get somewhere. So, really, like that's all the information you need. Oh, listen, it's a handy tool in terms of navigation. Navigation industry

has never been more user friendly. But back in the day, we used to have old school book maps, paper maps, where you'd have to map out your journey before you left and you'd follow the pen line.

And if you didn't have a map, then you'd just stop at some petrol station on the side of the road and someone would rattle off a whole bunch of coordinates that you would inevitably end up forgetting because you're not really paying attention. Yeah, so map books.

We thought, you know, we were like, have you ever used a map? Like a fold-out map or a map book? And you're like, nah. So we thought we'd put you to the test today. We got you one. Well, you got one. You went and bought one.

They must have been like, who wants to buy one of these? Yeah, at first they showed me the world map. I i'm gonna think i'm gonna need something a bit more focused on the auckland area than that um and then yeah he assumed it was for a school project um it's definitely not and i i've never seen like i didn't know things would be written in alphabetical order so that was all the locations of streets and things yeah on the back they sort of and then they give you the grid system that you can find like a4 or a6 or wherever it is located in your map the wisest maps people yesterday must have been like we made a sale i told you we'd be back

team i knew this day would come yeah yeah can't say i'll be using it's a map where you actually have to fully open it up so it's sort of of one metre by one metre, a big square. And looking at it, what do you think? First thoughts? First thoughts is that's going to take up my whole windscreen. So I don't know how that's user-friendly. Yeah, well, before you were getting distracted with cell phones and driving, we were using maps.

Yeah, a huge distraction when you look at it, right? Which I think is more of a hazard than a cell phone, just quietly. But anyway, it's good to see Auckland in front of you because I've never really got my bearings right, like north, south, east and west. And now looking at it, I'm like, oh, that's starting to make sense. Yeah. So it's all, it's, yeah, okay. Yeah. So what we thought we might do is we're going to get you to drive to Hamilton tomorrow using map, an old school map.

No, no GPS navigation, no Google Maps or anything and uh we're gonna do a dry run today that's right so we've put together a little pack uh with some Dilmar tea uh you know supporters of the show and some some tea and biscuits for our workplace and Taylor if someone wants that you will drop it off to them hopefully this morning you'll get there, hopefully. No promises, but that is the plan. Yep. So what we need, 0800 the hits. Would you like to win this wonderful pack, hand-delivered by the Gen Z-er, producer Taylor,

and also hand-delivered and navigated there through old school means. Old school technology. This was a period in time where you couldn't share your emotions with an emoji. No. You had to use nature's emoji, your face,

to tell people how you were feeling. All right, so how confident are you feeling, Taylor? I don't even know where the workplace is on these maps. I'm going to find that first. It's not a great start. All right, I think we can count on

Producer Taylor to deliver our little pack of, we've got some Dilmar tea in there and we've got some biscuits to drop off to a workplace this morning using an old-fashioned map book. Yeah. Gee whiz. Even looking at it now, I don't know where I would start on it.

We've just become just so, Gen Zers have it so much more convenient than we did growing up being boys. Yeah, right. It is quite, like it does fold, this boys. Yeah, right. And it's got, like, it does fold. This is a fold-out map, and it's huge. It is huge. The first fold-out map sold in New Zealand for the last 15 years, actually. So congratulations to the map company for that one.

But 0800, that's the telephone number. What we need is someone to deliver this package to. And you just tell us your location. We should type it into Google Maps, see what the estimated time would be if you were using modern-day technology. Yeah. And then we'll just hand-tailor the map.

Are we giving her a phone? Are we trusting her not to look at the phone? Well, it'd be nice to talk to her on her journey. But, yeah, as long as she's trustworthy enough not to use the phone for... Okay, you can only use your phone for sharing your feelings on Instagram. Okay, that's the only rule. Now, Craig's phone through.

Welcome, Craig, to New Zealand's breakfast. G'day, fellas. How are you? Good to have you on. We have a generation of the paper map, Craig. Absolutely. And the arguments. Yeah, a lot of arguments over these maps. Your parents would spend a lot of, filled in some good travel time, too. A lot of time bick arguments. Yeah, a lot of arguments over these maps. Your parents would spend a lot of,

filled in some good travel time too. A lot of time bickering. Yeah, I did. So you are located whereabouts roughly in New Zealand, are you? We're in Auckland and Morningside. Okay. That's doable. Type that into Google Maps,

see what the estimated travel time would be for that. Now, Taylor, this is sending Taylor out with a map book as dangerous as radio gets in 2023. It's going to be the last we see of Taylor. No access to Google Maps. No Wi-Fi. No access to Avocado. This could be deemed workplace bullying, Ben Boyce.

What's it saying? It is not connecting to the server. So there you go. The old-fashioned maps is not working as well. But yeah, Craig, all right. We'll send Taylor on her way. Estimated travel time, I would say around 15 minutes. Yeah, you'd say so.

13 minutes. There we go. 13 minutes. So expect it there within the next 24 to 48 hours. Yeah. So 13 minutes. If you're left now, right, you'd be there. Okay, just before 8 o'clock, you'd get there using new technology.

And Taylor new to the country. So she doesn't know her way around either. All right, Taylor, you ready to go? She's going to do it now. All right. She's off, Craig. Good luck, Craig. See you soon, Taylor.

Someone who is Gen Z read a map book. That was the test for producer Taylor this morning. A 15-minute journey to listen to Craig has taken over an hour and a half. Yeah, she left at 7.32. And Taylor, have you made it? Yes, I can confirm I am officially here. You made it. Well done.

What an adventure. Yeah, I'm like sweating, officially here. You made it. Well done. What an adventure. Yeah, I'm like sweating and I know it's really cold, but I'm hot and flustered. And I've just got to calm myself down now because it's got to be adrenaline. Gen Z with menopausal symptoms. There was motorways. There was a necessary forest and bush that you ran. There was a whole lot that you've taken a big dog leg but you finally got to Craig and you've handed over some

dill martini and some biscuits? She's still hanging on to them to be honest We haven't had the official handing over ceremony Craig Well we watched her drive past five times The hardest part was to actually find the building Okay so we'll hand over the

biscuits and the dmar tea to Craig. Well, thanks, Taylor. Well done. Congratulations. And, jeez, people must have been very tardy back in the day. Yeah. They must have been running late and turning up like Taylor was, flustered and not being able to contact anyone.

And just go, hey, I'm five minutes away. You know, like without a phone. Like, when did you give up on people coming over to your house? Yeah. You're like ah they're obviously forgotten about it well listen that point proves

that we live in a far better time than the 90s there we go good luck in the field days with Taylor directions tomorrow might as well leave now

see ya Craig well thank you to Craig and Taylor having to make her way back now using the map as well surely not