Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Jono's Major Wardrobe Malfunction!

Episode Date: May 28, 2023

Jono had a major wardrobe malfunction at a very serious meeting Why Ben got embarrassed at a store?? Will Chris Luxon stay on if National lose..? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Our friend Dan, who works on the edge actually, but huge fan of Celine Dion. Massive. Yeah, went on a boys trip to Las Vegas and said, I'll see you soon boys, and he went to Celine Dion by himself. In Dan's defence, he didn't offer it to everyone first, that they wanted to go with him, and they all said no. But he still went, he said it was the best thing he's ever done in his life cried cried what a lad's trip now a friend of mine celebrated a pretty big milestone birthday had their 40th uh a couple of weeks ago okay i have sent a present right i'd

say three weeks ago so you couldn't go but you've seen a present decent present. I'd say three weeks ago. So you couldn't go, but you've sent a present. Decent present? Yeah, it was a decent present. I wasn't saying you wouldn't. I'm sure you would have. For a 40th, you would have sent a decent present. $54.95. I recommend a retail value for memory. Because I was actually going back through my bank account to remember when it was that I'd sent

it. So it was online, through a website, deliberate, you know, easy. I haven't heard anything. I haven't had any acknowledgement of the present arriving. No gratitude. No thanks. No, you're so thoughtful. Nothing.

Radio silence. Do you know if the, I'm guessing the company that sent it has delivered it, right? It looks, yeah. The whole process on the website. Textbook. Yeah, so that's all been delivered picked up from the depot so you're pretty sure that the person's got the present but they haven't given you any acknowledgement now i don't want to appear needy but i'm wanting a thank you or some thought i want to know it's got to him i'll be your say sounds like you want to thank you a little little bit. Why else do you buy presents?

Yeah, we'll try. It's not out of the kindness of your heart. It's to be praised, isn't it? On a public platform. Go on social media and thank me. But you're going to look, you look a little weird though, don't you? Like if you suddenly message them now and go, hey, that present. I don't know how to bring it up.

Well, can you do that? Is it okay to do that? Can you text this? What would you do? Probably nothing, like you i probably but then i'd still it would annoy me because i'll be like have they got that prison yeah you'd probably do exactly the same thing as me not say anything to their face but talk about it on the way yeah exactly yeah i'm 800 the hits need your help on this one four four eight seven how do i approach it without appearing needy

but also wanting to get a thank you? I guess, you know, if you receive a present, you probably should. You'd think you'd reach out and go, hey, thanks for that. That's very nice of you. I don't think it was an offensive gift. It wasn't like a weight loss, you know, weight loss pills or a Botox voucher or anything.

So I wouldn't have left him out of sorts. I wouldn't have thought. So you just want some recognition. But how do you bring it up? I don't know how you bring it up. That's where the hits family always help, right? They do. 4-4-8-7 is the text.

0-800-THE-HITS. Send a present to my friend. Toe ring. Send a toe ring. $850,000 toe ring to my friend for his 40th birthday. He's got wonderful toes. They just need to be jazzed up a bit. And this was three weeks ago.

Haven't had any acknowledgement. I've run the forensics on the package delivery. The package has arrived. We're 100% sure that's happened. Just haven't heard back to say, hey, thanks so much for that. It was really thoughtful. I was just thinking during that Justin Bieber song, do I send a decoy, another decoy present to see if he acknowledges that one?

Another toe ring. Oh, you'll send another present, you reckon? I might have a serial anti-thanker for a friend. What do you think? I feel like you're getting, you're already in a hole.

If you want to send another gift, you can, but let's throw it open to 100 the hats. How do we approach this situation? Celia, you're wonderful. You're helping me out on a Monday morning.

What do you reckon? I'll help you out. It's a wet Auckland morning and I did a similar thing. I sent a present to my sister in the UK. It was a bunch of flowers and I chose this really nice bunch and wrote a wee little note and then I didn't hear anything. And I was thinking oh my God, what do I do? Do I call her or do I find out? Eventually I asked her and she said,

oh, I've been wondering who they're from. I didn't know they were from you. And because I wrote this little wee note, it wasn't interpretable. It was definitely me. So she'd been asking around all her friends and everything. Oh, you didn't attach your name to it. I didn't put my name on it.

No, I thought she'd guessed on what I said, but she didn't guess. So I don't know. Did you put your name on it? As you're saying that, I'm starting to question if I put a name on it. Well, it might have been because you ordered it through the company. You might not have done a card search. You're right. You just put some cryptic comment and they didn't know.

Yeah, Celia, you raise a great point actually Good point I don't know is it worth continuing on this phone topic She solved it Detective Celia hey thank you Amanda you're in a similar position Sent to prison didn't get thanked Yeah I did yeah

I sent just a small gift to My ex's wife For Mother's Day I won't scared. It was a box of chocolate. She's pregnant. I knew that would depreciate that. Nothing.

Absolutely nothing back from her. Your ex's wife you sent to prison? Not like a dead rodent or anything? No. Well, we have shared care, 50-50. So, you know, she looks after my boy too. So a bit of appreciation. Oh, that's nice of you.

That is a lovely thing to do. But you never got thanked? No, I got nothing. Again, we're learning about this whole name thing. A big flaw in the plan. Did you think you put your name on it, Mandy? I sent it with my son. Maybe the son forgot to deliver it.

Sons would definitely forget something like that. Yeah, true. Hey, thank you, forgot to deliver it. Suns would definitely forget something like that. Yeah, true. Hey, thank you, Mandy. Appreciate it. We'll go to Karen, trying to solve this issue. Do I approach him? Do I leave it? How do I get a thank you?

Hi, John. I'm here. This thing, things could be coming up a bit, but I would just do a little check-in and ask if the celebrations went well. Sorry you couldn't make it but yeah just check it in and let them know you sent them

a little something and hoped it arrived on time Oh yeah that's a great That's a really good idea Sorry I couldn't make it there sent you a little something Yeah that's a really good idea Someone's also saying say you've delayed it's a delayed present and the arrival date's today.

Just checking it's arrived. But then you go, oh no, it arrived three weeks ago. Your arrival date's way off, mate. Brilliant. Thank you for your help, Kerr. Appreciate that. And thank you everyone who's texted in. Geez, I'd say there's some good advice on this station, mate.

We need to do this more often. We need to get the advice of people listening, don't we? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The leader of the National Party, Christopher Luxon. Good morning. Great to be with you guys. I saw you a little while ago too at the King's Coronation. We haven't seen you since then.

Of course, looking very smart in your sort of tails as well, hanging out with Richie McCaw. And also did a very interesting thing. You were like, if anyone wants to come have a beer with me, here's a pub I'm going to be at. Now, this could have gone either way, way right you could have been there by yourself having a beer or you could be surrounded by people that wanted a beer on probably on you how'd it work out uh it was great we probably had close to 150 200 people show up those are

bloody good numbers we could only dream of those numbers i spent it i took two hours i never made it inside the pub actually i spilled out onto the road. But it was just Kiwis are everywhere. But the ones in the UK, man, they're doing really well. Yeah. Did you have an obligation to shout everyone? No, I didn't actually. I managed to avoid that very nicely. Yeah, good.

That's why you didn't walk into the pub. Yeah, we're very good with money in the National Party. Are you used to getting used to, because you're relatively new to politics compared to a lot of other politicians. Are you getting used to being constantly under the spotlight and the criticism i see from time to time people go oh you need more personality from chris lux and i'm like every time you come in here we have a great chat and stuff so it's hard because you know as leader of the opposition you don't get the same opportunity sometimes to sort of reveal a little bit who you are people know a lot of what i've done but they don't necessarily know who I am.

But look, that's part of the process of just getting around and seeing people and meeting people. And otherwise everything's focused on a three or six second soundbite. Yeah, true. For the news, yeah. Do you ever get sick of just like

having to disagree with the government? So there must be some things where you're like, oh no, they made the right call there. There is. Actually, I think we should be really constructive, you know, so there are things that are just in new zealand's national interests that we should be aligned around and you know actually building back after the cyclone recovery we've been highly supportive of saying look you take all the powers you need to get that job done you know make sure we've got the money to do the job but then get it done you know that's

what we've got to hold them to account for so so obviously when this happens this seems like there's something with that the opposition loves to talk about the fact that there was some ai used in the national party ads right yeah i've got ai to come up with a question i was like oh chris lux is coming in so i get to come up with this will be dangerous there was a couple of questions i thought well give me a couple but i thought this was quite good yeah uh we know you're a fan of flying high chris this is what ai did a chat gpt but tell us if politics was a destination, where would you fly the National Party? And what kind of in-flight entertainment can we expect on this journey?

Jesus. Are you serious? High concept. I typed in, Chris Larkson, give me a question, but make them good and make them also funny. So that was quite a bit. So how does that work? So it must take everything that it knows about me from my background.

Yeah. Although it was quite good. So where's the destination? Where are you heading as the National Party? Well, we're going to a better place. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, we're going to a much, much better place to make sure New Zealand realises all its great potential. I'll take another one at you.

Can you share a funny anecdote or blooper from your time on the campaign trail that made you laugh uncontrollably, Chris? Oh, quite a few moments. I've had people talk about their neighbor and their fence issues with their neighbors and how I could help as prime minister potentially on that yeah those are the issues that are the big issues of the day yeah is a lot of your day just listening to people moan um no there's a I sort of I do spend a lot of time with people and they tell me what they think the country needs to just if you just do this one thing everything would be just

fine fix my fence yeah fix the fence and everything would be great. But no, I mean, it's a real privilege. Honestly, it is. I mean, I really love it. As an extrovert, you get to hear folk telling you what's going on in their world and what's working and what's not working. Yeah, and you actually get to hear some real struggles

that you go, man, that's actually what a government should do. We should try and fix those things to make life a bit easier for people. And that's my motivation, really. That's why I want to do it. Big question. Showers. That's why I want to do it. Big question. Showers. What are you keeping yours to?

Are we hitting the five-minute threshold? Are we in five-minute showers using a slow cooker and keeping the air con at 21 degrees, I think, is the big plan for the cost-of-living crisis. No, I have to be honest, I'm a bit longer than five minutes. That's where I wake up. It is a big year, obviously, the election coming up. Because every poll that seems to come out,

it seems very close. It's going to be a really close election, I think. I think that's the reality of it. But look, if you want to change the country, as I keep saying,

there's only one thing to do, party vote national, but get the country back on track. You've got great passion for New Zealand. I love that about you, but worst case scenario, it doesn't go the way

you planned the election. Yep. Do you stay in politics or do you move in politics or do you move on or try and come and be one of your assistants or something like that look i haven't honestly thought about it because i guess i've come to politics two years ago determined to actually say look yeah i see some things going wrong i want to fix things i want to solve problems i want to get things done i want new zealand to realize its potential and look i'll deal with

whatever i deal with when it comes i'm When it comes. I'm all in. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Now you said you're embarrassed in a shop over the weekend. Oh yeah. I don't know how many times I've told you. Order online when you go to Peaches and Cream. You don't have to go in store every time. No, I was going to

mall with my family and we actually went into a store and we had a little appointment thing. So we're sitting down at the seat at the place there and I was carrying a backpack store and we had a little appointment thing. So we're sitting down at the seat at the place there and I was carrying a backpack around and I had a couple of water bottles that we'd take into it. And I had the bag on the floor and then I went to look for something in the bag

and I put it on the chair next to the lady in the store. And then I realised that one of the water bottles had leaked out through the back. Burst its banks, yeah. And so it's one of those situations, you know, it's a bit weird on situations you know it's a bit weird on the floor it's but we're on the seat where i'd been sitting and i sort of turned to my wife amanda and i was like this is you know where you turn to you i turned my wife the person

who's meant to be there for me you're confident to death do us part all that stuff yeah and i said just quietly because i said hey the drink bottles leaked a little bit here. What should I do? And then she took this as an opportunity to embarrass me. She went, oh, did you have another accident? Did you, Ben? And the poor lady at the store. She heard it all. She heard it all.

But she was in that moment where she didn't quite know whether it's, and as you do, she doesn't know the situation. She doesn't know your bladder control? Yeah, she doesn't know if this is a joke or if this is actually quite is actually quite yeah something serious she's got a rock solid bladder if you're wanting to know yeah and mandible and i said no no it was the drink bottle amanda my wife doubled down and said it's okay bet it's okay it happens how's your nappy situation and she's chucked nappies into the mix oh no and again the lady was you could see this lady trying to look like oh what do i do here this is when you should come in and defend yourself,

defend your character. I said, oh, look, I haven't. I haven't. It was the drink bottle. Amanda said, it's all right. It's all right. You don't need to make excuses. It's okay.

Amanda, my wife, enjoying it. Me, not so much. The lady, very confused. And the lady there, the lovely lady was like, just quietly. She's like, we don't have a bathroom, but we do have a sink at the back. There's some paper towels you can go out there and clean yourself up but is she also like looking at the seat going oh yeah is he just i was like it was water bottles you're trying to display with the water bottles so then you over explain you look like you're in a fluster oh jesus walk out of the

store i went and got paper towels and came back and cleaned up the seat and stuff but you could tell the whole time that lady was sitting there going, did he just. Is this an elaborate cover up? Yeah. It definitely felt like that. Yeah. Well,

Ben Boyce, thank you for that story. It was one of the greats. It was quite good. You're welcome. I thought you had something really good to add to the end of that. No, I thought I did too.

And then I was like, no, no, he's done. What he's done there is a textbook radio story. We've all enjoyed it. It's time to move on. Speaking of carnage, Ben left you on Friday,

and I had an appointment to go to with G and my wife, and I was driving there, just pulling up to the office that we needed to walk into. Boom, the button on my trousers pops. And I go, well, that's unfortunate unfortunate but probably a sign of the times lockdown lockdown lockdown i'm still recovering from lockdown anyway so that popped i mean they they had been working hard that button had been working really hard for a number of years so i wasn't surprised to see it go fallen soldier yeah i was like i can live with that then as i get out of the car step out my undercarriage rips the bottom under there of the pants oh the the chinos the same pair of pants oh it's like they resigned off my legs in a blazer glory they went there's we can't keep these legs hidden from the public anymore.

We've done all we can do. Holding on, holding on, holding on. And then suddenly, you know. I was like, I couldn't have had any worse luck. And the meeting I was going, and the worst part, it was Commando Friday here at work. It wasn't. It's not a thing.

Everyone gets involved. It's not a thing. Office gets the morale going, doesn't it? No, it doesn't. No, it wasn't Commando Friday. That's Tuesday. But anyway, I'm like, No, it doesn't. No, it wasn't Commando Friday. That's Tuesday. But anyway, I'm like, okay, so what do I do?

I don't have, the belt's doing a fine job of containing the button situation. But I'm like, this is a big tear too. It's going from one end to the other. So I had to, MacGyver, back in the day, there was a TV show with a guy who would just make good with anything he had. Paper clips and bubble gum and all sorts, right? He'd make a grenade out of a toothpick and a piece of hubba-bubba, wouldn't he? So I was like, I had to go full MacGyver mode. What have I got? In the boot, I've got reusable shopping bags.

I'm like, great. What I'll do is I'll shove one of these down into my trousers. But then that looked unusual because i had two handles dangling in between my legs so i was like okay what can i do so i ended up ripping the reusable shopping bag using that material sliding it in underneath none the wiser mate can get another three years out of those pants don't even need to fix them they are right no one noticed at the meeting no one even if i pointed it out they would have gone jeez i wouldn't have noticed that of those pants. Don't even need to fix them now, right? Don't even need to fix them. No one noticed at the meeting. No one.

Even if I pointed it out, they would have gone, jeez, I wouldn't have noticed that, mate. Incredible stuff. You never want to turn up to a meeting with your pants like that. No. It wasn't one of those sort of meetings. I don't know what sort of meeting. It would be one of those meetings. Well, maybe if you're getting a job as Magic Mike or something like that,

you'd probably get away with that. Check it out. Legendary singer Tina Turner passed away. Maybe if you're getting a job as Magic Mike or something like that, you'll probably get away with that. Check it out. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Legendary singer Tina Turner passed away at the age of 83. And it's just been announced that she's going to have a private, her family announced a private funeral just involving those closest to her. So, you know, I think a few fans are a little bit upset. They can't be there to pay their tributes to her,

but I guess you can do it another way. You can have a memorial, can't you? Yeah, and she's storming up the charts again, I see. So many of her songs on Spotify and Apple Music are back in the charts as everyone probably rushes back to listen to how iconic and how brilliant she was as a singer. We were talking about this on the weekend, you don't

you know, three or four weeks ago, you don't go oh jeez, I've got to go back and listen to Blimmin' Private Dancer or, you know. Yeah. But then when something like this happens to an artist, you do reflect back on their work, don't you, and really appreciate the wonderful body of work that Tina Turner has provided over the years. She was pretty incredible.

We're having a conversation, my wife and I, about Tina Turner, sadly passing away in the house. One of my daughters was close by and was sort of overhearing it without listening too hard. And she said, oh my goodness, has Tina from Turner's died? Of course, Tina from Turner's in the commercials and the TV. And I was like, oh, no, she's fine. She's fine. Tina from Turner's is fine.

But Tina Turner, who was a massive artist, and then we did play some Tina Turner for the kids as well. So fortunately, Tina Turner's all good, but sadly, unfortunately, Tina Turner has passed away at 83. Yeah, Tina from Turner's is okay. She's all good. Yeah, yeah, she's all good. Both, I mean, both titans of industry.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Tina Turner's the car industry, and Tina Turner in the music industry as well. But you can understand, they would never have heard of Tina Turner, your kids. No, but there were a couple of songs, because a couple of songs, I think we play one with Kygo, it's been remixed here on the hits, and they're like, oh yeah, I know that one, so

yeah. What's going on? Joel's giving you the no, no, no. I think it's Whitney Houston. No, I think there is a Kygo one in the weekend I found as well, but hey, we'll get into that. The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben Boyce, we had a fun weekend, I think there is a Kygo one in the weekend I've found as well. But we'll get into that. Ben Boyce, we had a fun weekend.

Popped over to Newstalk ZB. They get us on sporadically just to fill some air time, don't they? They do. It's a sort of panel with Tim Beveridge in the afternoons there. Gets different people on each week to talk about the heartbeat of the nation, the news of the nation, the big stories. I feel like it's a career high for us going on Newstalk ZB and a career low for the station. Yeah, I'd agree.

I'd agree with that. But you were pretty good. You covered a range of topics. We got into the police. Record number of assaults every day. On average, three assaults on police officers. Which is super sad and frightening. Yeah, it is very sad.

And I wish you would stop it like i'm not i'm not taking part comes in comes in after the weekend he's like had another dust up mate have you seen the size of me i'm not getting involved with anyone uh no you don't look like a dust up guy no we're not dust up people are we but you uh you got into the election you uh you had a pretty firm take on the election on news talks well no but this is what happened we we start we segued into the election. You had a pretty firm take on the election on Newstalk ZB. Well, no, but this is what happened. We segued into the election, and I thought I'd mention how close it was, and I thought I'd said something that, you know, because my biggest fear when I go on Newstalk ZB is saying something

that everyone's like, oh, God, he's an idiot. You know, look, so you want to say stuff that kind of makes sense and at least portrays you to have some sort of grasp on what's going on. Topical events. Yeah, current events and i got to the end of my sentence i was like i think that was okay and then you kind of just like you pulled back the curtain too much have a listen it's going to be close every week there's a new poll out saying someone's just ahead of the other one so it's going to be very interesting to

see what happens come election time oh yeah um thanks for Thanks for... Yeah, it's good, Ben Boyce. Was that too serious? No, no, it was good. Sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Well, I've read three sentences in a Herald article, mate. I don't know enough. Actually,

just out of curiosity... Great wingman, eh, Jim DeVridge, isn't he? He sounded convincing. I was like, just let me have a moment. No, that was good. That was very impressive.

Very impressive. I was saying how impressed I was. Such a mocking... Such a mocking. What a mocking time. Oh, that's all. Michael, good on you. So anyway.

Should have just gone to ads, didn't need me chiming in. Tell you what, I was bloody impressed with at Newstalk ZB. The arsenal of vacuum cleaners up there. Mike Hosking, who does the breakfast show, probably the highest profile vacuumer in New Zealand, loves vacuuming. He vacuums the studio every morning, apparently, before his radio show starts.

But you're right. Without a word of a lie, there would have been five or six vacuum cleaners just sitting there. High-end vacuum cleaners. Like what Vin Diesel has in terms of flash cars, Mike Hosking's got in terms of fast vacuum cleaners, doesn't he? It's funny that every now and again we get a five words winner here on the Hits radio station

and we unleash, you know, like a confetti cannon everywhere. And our biggest problem afterwards is finding a vacuum cleaner. Yeah, because we're always, we spend three hours on our hands and knees picking up individual bits of confetti. There's six upstairs. Six? There's like six vacuum cleaners. It sounds like we need more vacuum cleaners and I have fingers on my hand

impressive the next 10 minutes though how many fingers do you have on your hand not as impressive I say he's got less vacuum cleaners than I have fingers on both hands