Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Jono's Wet Himself...

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Jono's bladder incident.. Ben drove the wrong car Tayla's parents new venture! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. I had a situation at a friend's place over the weekend that looked bad, but actually had a very innocent backstory. I was hanging out with my friend at his house and his wife came home and she was carrying a lot of stuff that had a function. She'd been helped organise, she was carrying platters platters trays all sorts of bags and stuff like that looked like she was you know carrying quite a lot she brought it in from the car and you just sat on the couch and watched no and i went hey do you need a hand is there any more stuff she said actually there is there's probably another load of all sorts of stuff from the back of the party can you go down you can go down the car's unlocked back down on the street you can help out and i was like damn

it wasn't the answer that i really wanted i just wanted to go no no i'm fine thanks and you're like i'll continue sitting on the couch i thought maybe because she looked like she was struggling with all these items that you know she had all the things covered but no anyone who ever asks you do you want help they never want you to say yes you're right do you want help moving that is the worst possible thing is you could say, yes, I would love help moving. So this occasion she did say yes. She was like, just go down. The car's unlocked down on the street.

Just go down this whole lot. And you're like, oh, it's on the street as well. I was like, all right. So I went down by myself, grabbed all, you know, grabbed, opened, saw the car. It was unlocked. I opened up the back of it. Grabbed all the stuff, all this random bits and pieces. Took me a while to, you know, to get it all.

I was like, geez, this is more than one load, but I'm going to try and get everything. And took it all the way back up. They're one of those houses that's kind of upper sort of driveway. So you're doing the supermarket bag theory. When you get back from the supermarket, you're like,

I need to do all of this in one walk. Walked inside and I'm like, here's all your stuff. You're making a scene to look at the hero come along and she's like, none of that stuff is mine. I'm like, what?

Whose stuff is it? She's like, no, I've never seen none of that stuff is mine i'm like what she's like no i've never seen any of this stuff i'm like the car on the street it's unlocked she's like well that's not from my car i'm like oh dear god i've taken all this stuff what stuff did you have oh that was all around it was bags and bits and pieces she's like that's not my car so i was like i've got to go downstairs and put it back into this car. Whoever's car, who would leave their stuff unlocked? Two cars on the same street unlocked. So I put it back into the car. We all went down and put it back into the car.

And as we shut the door, for some reason, the alarm goes off in the car. Now it goes off. And now I'm like, oh, my God, I've just gone into the car, put everything back, fortunately. And then you're going around going, well, maybe it's a neighbor's car. They're like, I don't know. They haven't seen this car before. i'm like well maybe i need to go around and knock on on you know i knocked on a couple of houses doors just to go hey i was the

person that took the stuff and they had no idea what was going on i'm like this is a weird scenario no well when you say i was sent to get some stuff from a car that was unlocked and then you're like well what did you why'd you take my stuff yeah well because it was unlocked on the street it reminded me of the story that you, didn't someone leave a car outside your house and you? Yeah, I took some, yeah, yeah, yeah. Reminded me of that situation. So there was a car that was stolen, yeah,

and it was kind of outside my house for a couple of hours. And I said to my son, Oscar, we should go and investigate because it was just running with the windows down. And so I opened the door and I looked in and I was like, oh, it's because the ignition was ripped out. I'm like, that's a bloody top-notch Nike hoodie there. And then I held the hoodie up to my chest too, going, oh. Could I fit this?

I could. It was a size large. It looked good. And then I went to take it and my son's like, what are you doing? Your fingerprints will be all over the car now. All over a potential crime scene. That's what I felt like as well. I was like, thank you, 11-year-old boy,

for informing me of how that works. And I carefully placed the hoodie back, and I said to the cops, hey, I might have just opened it, just do a light bit of investigation. I'm tapping with some evidence. I took a swab from the hoodie. But I was like, well, if they've stolen a car,

then surely me stealing the hoodie, that's karma, mate. Well, mate. I don't know if it quite works like that, but hey, I don't know. Well, actually, I do know a little bit about the court system. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. The election, around about four weeks' time and the first leaders' debate is going to

be live on our screens tonight. TBNZ1 at 7pm and we've got Jessica Much-McCoy who's going to be moderating that debate with us in the studio right now. We cross live now to our political reporter Jessica Much-McCoy Welcome. Reporting live for you What question do you have with political insights?

How are you mate? Really really good. Yeah, you look, you're a race car in the red, you're busy, no days off at the moment? No, I'm trying to be like a duck or like calm on the surface and just like paddling madly underneath so I'm not sure if i'm giving that impression but i'm really trying is this like because obviously you love politics you know it's your job is this like your nrl finals your taylor swift concert is this like the big the election but yeah it is it's a big deal and it's

you know you don't want to get too caught up in this but this is such a dream opportunity for me it feels like this election and i'm just some idiot on the sidelines but it feels like uh it can get a bit nasty this election campaign yeah definitely has felt nastier and i think that's for a couple of reasons a because things we're looking quite close at the beginning and i think that sort of scrappiness comes out and i think it's also just the style of the political players as well So the two Chris's, this is the first time they're going to be side by side in a debate tonight you're mediating it and I think that's going to be really interesting

these are the two men who want to be Prime Minister you get to see what they're like A, in the spotlight, under a bit of pressure B, how they react to things and respond to things and also just a feel about them too, like how do they feel to you, do they feel to you do they resonate with you and I think that'll be really exciting to see them side by side.

It feels like some people have you know talking to mates in the weekend are quite undecided they're kind of like I don't really want to vote for anyone. Yeah and I mean I would say this but voting is so important and there are so many people around the world who can't vote it wasn't that long ago that women couldn't vote I just feel like voting is such an important thing i really want to push that message and i know that i sound like a a geek with that orange guy yeah a little bit yeah mildly insulting but never mind sorry you sounded like orange guy a little bit rich considering i'm staring at a picture of you wearing a bright orange shirt. I was Orange Guy.

I went for the role of Orange Guy. Very upset about it. I don't know, mildly offending Jessica, Ben. But yeah, I do think, you know, there's a bit of a sentiment like, oh, I don't like any of them. And hopefully that will give people a bit more clarity tonight in the debate and as we go on. The polls, so many polls. There's a poll out every sort of 10 minutes at the moment. They're polling weekly now, so exciting. Who answers these polls? I've never been asked to participate

in a poll. Oh there's quality control We have half online and half on phone, so mobiles and things, so you do get called up I had an idea that the Up the Waz party would probably romp in at the moment if you just had a party called Up the Waz What do you think? Because everyone would just go, the Up the Waz party would probably romp in at the moment. If you just had a party called Up the Waz.

Absolutely. What do you think? Because everyone would just go, oh, Up the Waz. Yeah, I mean, I've got really bad news for you that it's actually closed. You can get up for a new political party. But, you know, next in three years' time, the door may be open for you. And what is the policy of the Up the Waz party? Just everyone just keeps saying Up the Waz.

That's the only policy. Every question. What's your fiscal policy? Just go Up the Waz. Everyone go Up the Waz. He's investing all the budget into uh retro warriors tops yeah yeah this is gonna be great i love it take us behind the scenes of these do they talk to each other in the commercial yeah i was gonna wonder that nothing you know oh yeah people come talk to them potentially in the commercial break to go hey geez shocker with that answer sort of thing

yeah i mean that'd be pretty harsh. You are dying out here. Good luck with the next bit. Keep it up, though. We are four minutes away from going back on the exact same thing. There's a lot of talking over each other, isn't there, in the debates? They kind of, they can bicker and talk over each other. Can we give you a little practice, too? We'll both talk and argue our point and how you control it.

Okay, all right. So I said we'd go over to the house and see what we're going to get. All right, all right. I I see we can talk for the rest of the week. All right, all right. It's all for you. Actually, I'm the one that's moderating this debate, so if you could both please listen to me. That was quite a mum voice. That was really good, though. That's really good practice for tonight.

Now I have to bring this up, your husband. And what's your pick? What's your pick for the election? I still feel like it's going to be quite close. The next four polls over the next four weeks will be really telling and really interesting. Could all change tonight, couldn't it? Depending on how things go.

No pressure, though. Come on. Sorry, no pressure. More pressure on them. More pressure on what the politicians say out there tonight. Well, Jessica Mutch-McCoy, thank you very much for coming in. Sorry he mildly offended you. Good luck tonight. Thanks so much.

See you guys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Highly embarrassing incident yesterday. This is post-show. Now, no matter how old you get, a wet patch on your trousers doesn't get any less embarrassing. No, you're right. Does it?

An unfortunately placed wet patch. So using the hand basin yesterday, and unfortunately the contours of the basin aren't designed for high-velocity water, and I turned the water on too much pressure coming. It kind of swooped down and then just a wash all over the front. It's got waterfalls over the top, doesn't it? Yeah. I've had that same thing happen in that bathroom. Yeah.

You've got to tread very carefully. Yeah. So then I'm dabbing the thing with hand towels i'm like it's not it's never going to dry in time it's not a great look when someone comes to the bathroom you're standing there by the mirror dabbing your crotch i took it to a cubicle i had the foresight to think this isn't a good look he really really couldn't wait could he but then you're very aware of it very self-conscious that this has happened and so you you feel like the right thing to do is front foot it if you front foot it cuts off the rumors cuts off the texts behind your back you know the whispering but then i find the more that you

explain it to people the more they're like yeah okay buddy yeah you know no one no one ever believes you and i'm like i'm a 41 year old man hopefully i'm not doing this in the workplace outside of work hours different story yeah no you're right you're i find the same thing as well if you do go into a bathroom and then you go and then someone has you know it's something's going on in there you're like oh when everyone thinks it's going to be you when you exit and then you often come out and go, oh, you know, you try and. Yeah, don't go in there. Yeah.

Just try it again. Front foot there. It wasn't, you know. People are like, yeah, whatever, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. And I've looked into this, Ben. Well, I didn't actually have to look into it.

Science has looked into this. This is a list of embarrassing things that no matter how old you get, don't get any less embarrassing, as researched by science. Probably a section of science that actual science is probably embarrassed of. But the first one, your stomach making uncontrollable noises. You always feel like you need to tell people about that, eh? Yeah, and everyone hears it in the room initially, but you ignore it at first, and the stomach,

it's like playing the ultimate prank. Until you acknowledge it, we'll keep going and keep getting louder. Sorry, I'm laughing away because Producer Joel showed me a photo. Now, this is from,

not laughing because you had a wee procedure, something cut out in your mouth a couple days ago. Yeah. But have a look at your hospital gown. You talk about, like just...

That's what happened there. I've got water splashed all over. Just water like Like everywhere It's like That was the That was the basin incident That happened on Friday But no

What I mean Normally it's a little pat That is like everywhere Yeah it was like I've just been sprayed With a water blaster Yeah

Same thing The basin contour Okay I'm now starting To not believe your stories now Well something's terribly wrong If that's what's happening It's everywhere It's all over

We'll post that on the Hitsprek for social media. Sorry, yeah. You can decide for yourself too. But you just be careful with the hand basins. Yeah, well, that's a lot, eh? Yeah. You just got to take it gently. Yeah.

You really do. And also leaving a shop without paying for anything. You never feel any less embarrassed about that. Yeah, the supermarket's one. Because you don't generally go to the supermarket and walk out without anything. And, yeah, I feel like they frown upon you if that happens. For some reason, I get really awkward if you're playing ten-pin bowling

and you bowl the ball and you have to walk back to the seat. Yeah, yeah. Why is that so embarrassing? Yeah, well, it's embarrassing when you have a gutter ball, but yeah. I love those legends that just bowl it and they turn around and they're like walking away from an explosion like Vin Diesel. Yeah. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Now, Producer Taylor, wonderful parents. I know Angelo and who's your mother? Susan. Angelo and Susan, based in Sydney. Yeah. And they've just got into something. Yeah. It does sound romantic.

It's a keys in a bowl sort of thing. It's not quite like that don't insinuate that no no um yeah so my dad just recently came to visit over the weekend he came to watch marcello play for the wires on saturday night right he'll use any excuse to come over here oh it's great hey that's awesome yeah um so i look at that stage of marriage they are any excuse to spend time here. Oh, that's great. Hey, that's awesome. I think they're at stage of marriage. They are. Any excuse to spend time away from each other? Yeah, because everyone's like, why don't they come together? Like, they're still married.

And I'm like, no, no, mum's having the best weekend ever in Sydney and he'll have the best weekend here, Severo. But, yeah, so he was over visiting. I would be mid-conversation with him talking and he'd get an alert on his phone and suddenly he'd be drawn to his phone. I'd go, what the hell are you doing? Like thinking he's on dating sites or something.

Seeing the 5K radius. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, the security cameras are going off. And I was like, yeah, but mum's home, who cares? He goes, yeah, yeah, but I still got to check. And I'm like, but dad, who cares? You're here even if something is happening, you can't do anything. And he's like, look at this.

Look at this. I was like, it's a postman dropping off a package. Like, who cares? And it's gotten to the point so much where these two are like getting off on it. As soon as a notification goes off on their phone, they're like, we've got to check the cameras. We've got to check the cameras. Yeah.

There's nothing more captivating than watching your own security cameras. It's like nothing ever happens. But's the thing that's the thrill of it taylor and they've got a massive german shepherd so i feel like if anything did happen like they've even got that to to protect them so it'll be fine but the other night this is how ridiculous it's getting the other night they heard some noise downstairs during the night it was like 3 a.m so the first thing they do normal people check the security cameras inside the house, and they believe that they've seen a ghost

on the security cameras. Oh, really? What was going on? Yep, so they believe they saw like a rush, a shadow rush through the hallway, and apparently it's tying up with a family member's anniversary. Passing. Yeah. If it was a white figure, maybe it was me just wandering around the front yard. So they're hooked on the security camera. They're hooked, yep it was me just wandering around the front yard.

So they're hooked on the security camera. This is what we want to get open. 0800 the hits 4487. Parents getting into tech. Well, it's quite good because you're right. Normally parents don't always get into technology, right? I appreciate Jenny Boyce. Yeah.

Your mum. She loves commenting on stuff. She loves getting involved on stuff. Sometimes I'm like, mum, sometimes everyone can see your comments. She'll say always positive, always nice things. But it always is, oh, my little boy's looking tired. Stop being mean to Benny boy. I'm proud of you, darling.

It really gives away who she is. Everyone can see these comments. But she'll chip in there as well. So it's always good to get some insights, some comments from my mum. Just thank God my mum doesn't know how to comment. So I'm 800 of the hits. What are your parents into? Maybe your dad's bloody scamming people on Marketplace or something.

We're talking about parents getting into tech. Maybe things that they shouldn't. Oh, TikTok. I'm now, I'm like, I don't want to be left behind. So I'm really getting into TikTok as well. Now I'm getting to the stage where I go to my daughter. Have you seen this trend? Have you seen this? She's like, Dad, I feel like I'm killing TikTok. Oh oh this will be the end of it there

is a fine line with keeping abreast of things too and also uh being aware of your place on the platform you're like oh really he's here now it's like turning up to a party like guys i'm into this what are we doing all right party's over do you like playing yeah uh producer taylor's uh parents they're obsessed with the security camera. Won't take their eyes off the security camera at home. It's like the world's most boring reality show. Yeah. Where all you see is a leaf blow across the driveway.

But Denver, your grandparents have got into the tech. Yeah. We were, they were in the South Island and we were visiting their house and then all of a sudden my pop was talking to us through the security cameras. Oh, like a Saw movie. Hello, Denver. So were they watching? Yeah.

Watching, they're like, oh, they can see you in their house and then they decided to have a conversation. Yeah. That's pretty cool. That is equal parts impressive and disturbing. Yeah. Denver's like, damn right it was. It was.

It was very cool. Lovely to hear from you, Denver. Go and have a great day at work, mate. Thank you. Out there on the stock market. What a legend. Little Denver. Leesh is on the phone.

Parents and tech, Leesh. Well, my mum has the, she's a very, very, very independent, lovely lady. She really, really is. And she's actually gone on a couple of Tinder dates, which I find hopelessly hilarious because her children are in their 40s. So every time she goes on a Tinder date, I tell her to tell my new dad I say hi. Oh, tell the new dad you say hi. How long has she been running a Tinder account for? Oh, not too long.

Maybe a couple of months or so. But I do find it quite funny. I do like that she's doing it, though. She's doing her own thing, which is fantastic. Did she give you feedback from the dates? Not really. She did have one super, super horrible one, but not for anything that he did.

They both took their pups down to the beach one day, and unfortunately her dog died on the beach of a heart attack in the middle of a date. Oh, jeez. That's sad. Probably an omen for the relationship too after that. You'd be like, oh, I think. A little bit of a mood killer.

Yeah. Okay. There's this terror. So what happened with that relationship? Probably a moment for the relationship too after that. You'd be like, oh, I think. A little bit of a mood killer. Yeah. Okay. There's Terrell. So what happened with that relationship? I don't think I knew his name. I don't think it went too far. It didn't go too far.

There you go. So if you don't mind me asking, she'd be 60s, is she? Yeah, no, she's actually 60 this year, I think. Well done. There you go. Running the Tinder account. Come across her being boys in your travels? No, I haven't.

I haven't. I haven't. Age range, yes, definitely. You know, very open. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I don't know why I go along with your jokes. He casts a wide net. Oh, Alicia,

thank you so much for your time. Really appreciate it. You're welcome. Cheers, guys. Have a good one. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, nah.

Yeah. We like to do this every week where Jono gets to guess the year. He only gets one shot at it to where these iconic things have happened. I play some audio from them from a particular year, and if you can beat Jono to the year, 0800 the hits or 4487. You're the show's self-appointed historian, aren't you? What I was thinking about driving into work today,

thinking about this game, is history over time. What will you remember about history uh you've got 1800s oh Alexander Bell invented the telephone or the fifth 1950s the moon landing and then you go 2004 the Kim Kardashian sex tape with Ray J it's all gonna like varying slowly it's the race to the gutter really isn't it the longer we're around I know a lot of talk this week about the Warriors as being the last couple of weeks in New Zealand up the wars,

but this was the time, the particular year, things weren't going so well for the Warriors and they released this song, which is all about A Matter of Faith. Epic ads.

This is my motor phone at the time. Stick with us, guys. We'll come through. And they are. A Matter of Faith. Yeah, at the time. Stick with us, guys. We'll come through. And they are. Matter of faith. Yeah, but it was. For many years, it was all about a matter of faith.

So things, yeah, not going so well for the Warriors at that particular time, but they've turned things around, which is great. Okay, so I'm thinking around the turn of the new millennium, because if they start at 95, it's given the public five years to get behind them, form some opinion and passion for the team, and be bitterly disappointed if they're having a bad run. You're in the ballpark. I'll say you're in the ballpark.

Something else this particular year, well, Hilary Barry. We now know her on Seven Sharp, but back then she was doing 3 News. Good evening, I'm Hilary Barry in 3 News this hour. Yeah, Hilary Barry on 3 News. She used to be Hilary Pankhurst, didn't she? Yeah, so she was Hilary Barry. She was Hilary Barry then three news. She used to be Hilary Pankhurst didn't she? Yeah, so she was Hilary Barry She was Hilary Barry then? Yeah. I'll give you one more thing as well before

you make their guess. Wellington very very excited about this. Now while the premiere wasn't in Wellington they really latched onto this as well and it was the Lord of the Rings, the first movie of the Lord of the Rings trilogy came out and the premiere was in London that year. But it wasn't

until now that the legend could finally come to life. The technology has caught up with the incredible imagination that Tolkien injected into the story of his. Why does he make him sound like an evil supervillain with that music?

He's just talking about the tent. Serpent Jackson talking about the movie. He wasn't a knight at the time, but of course he's been talking about the tent. Yeah, Sir Peter Jackson talking about the movie. It wasn't a night at the time, but of course it's been nighted since then. What are you thinking? I'm locking in 2001, Ben. We have Graham on the phone. Graham in Auckland, your guess? Graham?

Yeah, hi, how are you? How are you, mate? It's early in the morning. We'll just slowly start up the engine that is Graham. What year do you think it is, mate? It's early in the morning. We're just slowly starting up the engine that is Graham. What year do you think it is mate? 2002. Okay, I've gone 2001. Grazer, the legend's gone 2002. Jono's right.

Jono's right. I think it's three weeks ago. 2001 was the year. A trio. Graham, listen, you know how the show works. We don't like disappointing anyone, so we're going to send you over some hell pizza, though, mate. Thank you very much. That's awesome. We just appreciate you phoning through and filling in your time. Yeah.