Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Mistaken Identity!

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Why was a listener turned away from surgery minutes before her procedure was about a start?!?!  Why did Jono have sweaty palms at a work function?  Ben is in a negotiation battle with his Kids!  Do females enjoy being called mate?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Great to have you with us on New Zealand's Breakfast this morning. Met someone yesterday, we were having a bit of a team gathering. It was great, it was fun wasn't it? It was a really fun time. And shook someone's hand. But what had happened just seconds before is I'd seen a commercial sizedsized bottle of hand sanitizer sitting on the bench, Ben Boyce. This is like, to you, this is a giant bottle of champagne, isn't it?

Yeah, exactly, yeah. And so I thought, oh, I'll sanitize my hands just because it's there. You feel like you're obliged to use it. And so I went in for a handshake, very sloppy conditions. My hands were in very sloppy conditions, freshly sanitized. And then I shook this person's hand without any warning. And I could tell they were a little put off.

Yeah. You know, that I've come in with soggy hands. No one ever likes their hands touching a soggy hand. I do try and front foot that now these days because I have done the same thing as you, where you do go in and people are like, oh, that's weird. So now I'm like, oh, I've just sanitized my hands or I've just come out of the bathroom and I haven't you know like the bathroom one always unsettles me though because someone's

like they shake your hand and they're like I've just come out of the I've just washed my hands I'm like yeah well you haven't done it properly you haven't finished the drying process yeah you're right but it is very hard to get them 100% dry. You're right. They always feel a little clammy and whatever, and you feel like you need to tell someone. I find the more you think about your hands being clammy, the clammier they get. It's a mind control thing.

Don't think about them. Dry as the Sahara Desert. But anyway, I shook this person's hand, and I didn't say anything at the time. And it was sitting with me for minutes afterwards. And I could tell they were getting a few side eyes across the room. Just a guy, didn't say anything at the time and it was sitting with me for minutes afterwards and I could tell there were a few side eyes across the room. It was just a guy, didn't even, you know. And so I went over and I said,

hey, just so you, do you remember our handshake six minutes ago? Oh, did you? I re-bought it back. I couldn't leave it alone. Just to talk about it. I guess that's good. They kind of walk away without any. I was like, I just freshly sanitized my,

I could see a wave of relief just sweep over. I had a moment yesterday because we were all sitting around at tables. It was, I was like, is it my shoes? Can I smell my shoes? Oh, I hate that. I hate when you think you can smell yourself. And I was like, oh, are those shoes? I'm pretty sure these shoes aren't stinky, but maybe they are.

And you want to kind of bend down and pretend you're going down just to check your shoes out in a sort of setting where everyone's sort of sitting around business, like just to check that. I want to smell my shoes in front of everyone but not look like I'm smelling my shoes look like I dropped something and then I was like

flosking around for a pen or something and I don't think like afterwards afterwards in the privacy of my own car I was taking the shoes off and smelling

like a shoeie they were fine they were fine but what were you going to do if they were yours what was going to be the next step there probably was, though.

You're right. Panic. Yeah, panic. Just leave. Like, what happened to him? He just left boot camp. He was gone. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

I can't believe how quickly this year's going, but that's something that old people say. Every year, too. But it's true. It does. It flies by. It's like that, and when you see a friend's child, you're like, oh, you've grown up so much.

I know. Stuff you vowed you'd never say. But you do, you think it, you're like, oh my goodness, you've grown, you know, and they're like, yeah, all right, I'm nine now, and you're still being an old three, of course I've grown up. That's how life works. Yeah.

Biology. Ben got in big trouble yesterday. Saw someone, a work friend, a work colleague, a female, and said, G'day, mate. How's it going? And I continued on with my walk. And then I heard, mate? Question mark?

In a tone where it was probably the same tone I know once, one dark day you called your wife Amanda, bro. You said, hey, bro. how's it going, bro? And you're not thinking, you're not concentrating, and I think you got up, bro. Oh, yeah, I did, yeah. And it was, yeah, that was not something I meant to do, but you're right, it just slipped out.

And I throw out a lot of mates. Like, my mate quota per day is through the roof. Like the seagulls of Finding Nemo, the mate, mate, mate, mate. Yeah, they would, I'd probably match there. Yeah, definitely. Daily numbers. Yeah. But it's like when you do chuck out mates, it's like walking.

Most of the time, walking goes fine. Every now and then, you step in a pothole and you sprain your ankle, don't you? And every now and then, throwing mates out. Not everyone likes to be called mate. Oh, maybe. What? Potentially they thought it sounded condescending is that what they're thinking what what do you think the rationale behind that is like when

people call me champ hey champ i'm like look at me no part of me screams champ like there's not a single inch of my body or my champion qualities you don't look at me and go there's a champion do you no not at all and i know that i know champion. Do you? No. Not at all. And I know that. I know my place. So they're using it ironically. I feel like they are. When someone's like, all right, champ, mate, how you doing? I'm like, oh, I'm not a champ, mate. It's like handing out a well-done for participating medal in a kid's triathlon.

A champ. Exactly. UFC fighter, professional rugby player, all those people. They're champ. God, are you a champ? Well, generally speaking, do you think girls like being called mate? We can run a text poll. 4487.

Do you like being called mate? Yeah. Is it an issue? I mean, what are the other options I've got? Sweet lips. No. Buttercup. No.

Sugar hips. No, well, no. Out of all the options that you've got that are from after the 1950s uh yeah the mate is probably or you could you could use honey buns oh geez all right four four eight seven the hits the jonathan ben podcast well jonah you're right he asked me a question and i couldn't give you the answer to it yeah uh i i call everyone mate uh and this is the great mate debate yesterday I threw out a mate to one of our female colleagues who said mate as in I don't know if she liked being called mate well it sounds like that tone if that's how the conversation went on I would say no that wouldn't be something that was

appreciated but we wanted to know I know 100 the hits can you help us out yeah Larissa who works in the hits team as well in the promotional team She says the Depth of our relationship Professional relationship is me going How you going mate? And her going good That's all we say every day I wouldn't know anything more about Larissa

And she wouldn't know anything more about me How you going mate? Good Copy paste that conversation from now So Lee Females Do you like being called mate i don't mind being called mate i'd rather be called mate than darling sweetheart all of those no fair enough i thinko knows that deep down. Joel? I meet a heap of different people all the time,

and I'm real bad with names, so I'm real bad for calling everybody mate, because then you're safe. Yes, it is a saver. It's such a versatile reference, isn't it? Because if you have forgotten a name, then mate just really does, saves your bacon. But I don't know if it does because I think the person receiving the mate's nose. You're like, g'day, mate.

And then you don't introduce the person you're with to them. They're like, clearly they don't know my name. Lee, you're a champion. Thank you so much. No problem. And then I just called her a champion. Champion. I was just thinking exactly the same thing.

Lysel, how are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you? We're doing well, mate. Are you all right? Oh, hang on. He said mate. Are you okay with that?

I'm all good with that, mate. You don't mind the mates? No, no, no. I'm actually a female barber, and we do ladies and men, and I call everybody mate. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a friendly barber approach too, isn't it? Yeah. Well, you know, everybody that comes in, they're just my mate.

Hey, how you going mate? Yeah, call everybody mate. It's not an offensive thing, I don't think. It's a friendly thing. This might really push your buttons. Hannah's texting going, I hate it when people call me hun hey yeah no i i generally

stay away from the word hun and i don't like it when people call me ma'am oh man oh yeah ma'am sounds very old-fashioned doesn't it ben's ben's called his wife bro before yeah that was not intentional that's it you know that wasn't something I planned on, though. Yeah, no, I don't know. No, don't. I haven't since again. It was just, yeah, it slipped out. I love you like a bro.

What? We made babies together. My children have tried to call me bro, and I haven't liked that. Yeah, fair enough. Good on you, Lucille. Appreciate your call. Dan, Emma phoning through as well. Mate, do you like mate Emma?

Not too bothered by mate, but I'm one of the hun haters. Hun haters. Hun hater. Oh, yeah. Yeah, generally the ones calling you hun are the ones hocking off Arbonne on Instagram, eh? You're not wrong. Yeah.

Awful. Hey, hun, win a white Mercedes. You see that, buddy? Come up. Do you get those people coming into your DMs, Emma? Not in the DMs, but at work. Oh, they're trying to get their arbor and claws into you at work. Thanks, hun.

Tell you, hun. I hate it. Yeah, the elusive white Mercedes. It'll get you one day. Good on you, mate. You're going to have a great day. Cheers, you too. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

I was in Hamilton Island, and it's in Australia. And the person behind the counter at the dairy or whatever was like, oh, hey, it's you. And I thought, oh, yeah, nice to meet you. And then we went out that night for dinner. And it was a bar restaurant, same person behind the bar. It's you again. Yeah, no, hi, nice to meet you. And I said to the person, do you know who that is?

And I was like, here we go. Here we go, selfie time. Get your cameras out. And then she was like, it's P Money, the DJ from New Zealand. And the Australian, other Australian bartender was none the wiser. He was like, oh, you're a DJ, mate. Get out there, play some tunes. And it was probably the most disappointing set he made.

I love it. At no point did you go, oh, no, actually, I'm not. But you went ahead and pushed play on. We've got Rosa who reached out to us. Now, it was mistaken identity. What happened to you? Well, I'd been to my skin specialist the week before, and she said, yes, everything was good,

and I'd made my appointment for the next 12 months. And then I got a text a few days later saying that they booked me in for my biopsy surgery. So I rang reception, and I said, I don't think that's what I'm meant to be having. And they said, no, no, that's on your notes. I think you need to come in. So I arranged to get time off work, sorted all that out, got into the surgery and the nurse was prepping me up, telling me that I was going to have a stitch on this sunspot

on my face and I was going to have to wear a theory strip and not have a shower and everything. And I was saying, well, I don't actually know what that is because I don't remember the specialist coming in. The specialist came in, had a look. She said, oh, yeah, it does look like it's improved a little bit. But no, I think, no, this is what it did look like. And she showed me a photo on her phone of the face.

I said, I don't think that's me. That's not me. And I said to the nurse, that's not me. And the nurse said, no, that's not you. And then the surgeon got very flustered and just sort of almost stormed out of the room and said, Oh, I'm just going to have to go and sort out what the mix-up is. Oh, so this was someone else? They had the photo of someone else, not you?

No, it was another woman's face. A very old woman, actually. If anything, you were offended. This is what a clerical error. But I mean, the best result you could ask for, but the worst result for the person who it was actually meant for. Well, yeah, hopefully. I'm sure they would have tracked down that person

and then they would have got her sorted out. Jeez, vital mistake, though. You would have been sweating bullets for a couple of days there, Rosa. I was. I was, and I wasn't looking forward to having stitches on my face. And so, as an apology, what do you get? Ten free surgeries? What's the make good here? Well, there was not much as an apology, what do you get? 10 free surgeries? What's the make good here?

Well, there was not much of an apology actually, sadly. You saw the surgeon going, I have just got to go and check on something out here. Oh jeez. Maybe I had to go through with the procedures again. Imagine it would happen because they're so under the pump

too. Oh yeah. Sometimes there's probably some poor chap lying there about to have open heart surgery. They cut him open. They're like, this guy's got nothing wrong with his heart. It would happen. That would happen. Yeah, but you're right.

They really are under the pump at the moment. You go and look after yourself. Thank you. All right. Thanks, guys. Have a good day. You too, Rosa. Bye.

Under the hits is our phone number 4487. Like Rosa or like Jono, been confused for a DJ at P-Money. When have you suffered a case of mistaken identity? Yeah, give us a call. We're talking now, a mistaken identity. Are you confused with anyone else? Honestly, it happens between the two of us all the time. Everywhere I go, no one knows the difference between.

I get confused as well. My kids have started calling me without a word of a lie, Jono, just because they know it gets my attention more than where they say, hey, Dad. Yeah, politely answer to both. We were on a Zoom interview and a whole bunch of other journalists from around the world on the Zoom as well. Lovely guy from the Philippines. He said to you, hey, it's Steph Curry, the basketball player.

Oh, no. And I got on screen. He's like, hello, Jeff Bezos. So, yeah, I mean, you got mistaken for one of your idols. Yeah. That's not bad. We're going to go to the phones. 0800, the hits, mistaken identity. Shannon, welcome.

What happened? Hey, guys. We're doing well. Who did you get mistaken for, Shannon, mate? Oh, look, so around the time the Prime Minister was on the TV a lot with Dr. Astrid Bloomfield, I was mistaken for Chris Hipkins a few times. Oh!

And the old workmates gave me a bit of a hard time about that. Well, I've since changed jobs, and obviously Chris has taken over from Jacinta more recently. And on my first days of the new year, one of the guys was like, hey, has anyone ever said you look like Chris Hilton? Oh, no. And I imagine, yeah, the recognition would have ramped up

over the last few months since he has been Prime Minister for you, Shannon. Oh, absolutely. And I did mention it to the family at home, and I've been a bit of a hard-case daughter, and we're watching the news. She's only eight years old. We're sitting down.

I'm watching the news and she walks and goes, Dad, you're on TV. I mean, you could use it to your advantage if you go into a restaurant and they think you are. You're like, hey, I just want to keep it low profile.

Prime Minister out for an evening. Can I get a table? You know, you might. But you can also go, I want to keep it low profile, but can I have it free as well? Yeah, that's... Oh, absolutely.

I'm just pleased I don't look like any of the other past Prime Ministers. Good on you, Shannon. Thanks so much for your call, mate. Appreciate it. Mistaken identity. Another one I just remembered. Pack and Save a few weeks ago.

I was wandering through the aisles, got stopped by a gentleman, and he's like, hey, mate, how are you? And as the conversation transpired, he thought I was one of his former colleagues from the workshop. Oh, that's right. I don't know who this guy was, but he was a vibes guy. He was bringing up the morale of the workshop, and he wanted him back at the workshop. And obviously, he made a real impact.

Not enough of impact for his face to be recognized. But they wanted him back there at their workshop. They wanted him back. We'll go to Wellington in the capital this morning. Sophie, mistaken identity. Hi, yes. My parents had a mistaken identity situation happen. What happened?

Well, so my parents, they met. They went on a date one New Year's and then both went back to Christchurch to their respective houses. And then my dad rang my mama asking her out on a date and my mum said yes and mum turned out or dad turned up to pick mum up and excuse my child and she was a different Marie. Hey mate, mum's on the radio trying to make some gold content mate.

We're getting some gold here. Just give us 30 seconds. There we go. Yeah, so Dad turned up and it was a different Marie and they went on a date anyway. And 39 years later, they are still married,

three kids and three grandbabies. Oh, so your mum wasn't the one... A happy mistaken identity. Well, your mum was very obliging. Do you want to go on a date? Yeah, why not? Sure. Oh, yeah, okay.

That's incredible. And so what ever happened to the other lady? You never know. No, no idea. No clue. Her name was also Marie. His dad's never spoken about her before. I mean, since he's told us the story,

mum has them on about it all the time, but no clue what's happened to her. Well, it's 39 years later, she's still waiting for that date. She's like, they'll be here any minute now. He bloody ghosted me. Hang on, her door's there.

Oh, that's great. Hey, Sophie, what's your child's name? That's Alfie. Let's get Alfie. Alfie, say something inspirational before we go to five words. Alfie, what have you got to say?

Oh, he's pretending to be a cat. That's pretty inspirational. That is inspirational. We could all take something from that. Oh, he's pretending to be a cat. It's pretty inspirational. It is inspirational. We could all take something from that. Oh, and a dog. And a dog, yes. Inspiring stuff.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Most complained about ads in New Zealand has just been released. And probably no surprises over the last 12 months. The most complained about ad

was actually one to do with COVID-19 vaccinations. Oh, this is a booger. What was that noise that gives you a bloody PTSD? Well, this one a lot of people complained about because the slogan was like, protect them for life, immunize. And people were saying, well, it's not protecting for life, which it probably, it didn't give you protection for life, right? It just helped you, you know, with protection for a little while. It didn't stop you from getting COVID.

So a lot of people complained on that, which wasn't really a technicality. It was probably more the truth. Do you know sometimes you just have flashes of what went on during that two-year period? And I was thinking over the weekend, remember we were all being told when we could have picnics and how we could sit when we were having a picnic? I know. How far away you had to be from other people. And we ahead a picnic we've had a picnic since yeah never had a picnic before but you felt like i've been told i'm allowed to have a picnic so you'd sit down at some sort of weird sporting ground with people like exactly 20 meters away because you could go out and about 20 meters away oh no It was Yeah The one o'clock The one o'clock news

Remember the press conference At one o'clock Was like The thing that Everyone watched for so long We're all just watching One o'clock We're going to watch this thing

You know All that sort of stuff Highest rating show ever It was So it was the most complained About ad with the COVID ones Not those ones With the noise at the start

But they were the ones About the immuniser The last one The Honey Badgers one As well Was complained about The one You know Where he's got the Traitey undies but they were the ones about the immunizer, the last one. The honey badgers one as well was complained about. The one, you know, where he's got the tradie undies. Oh, out in the desert? Yeah.

Why is that complained about? I think just because, you know, he's in undies and there was something with a leaf blower and a lady's hair blowing in the thing. It was all a bit too saucy. It was a bit saucy for a lot of people as well. Too saucy for me. And stick it to Hep C was in the top three as well,

which is a big campaign. We had a lot of people sort of flipping the bird towards Hepatitis C as well. Too saucy for me. And Stick It To Hep C was in the top three as well, which is a big campaign where it had a lot of people sort of flipping the bird towards Hepatitis C as well. So a lot of people complaining about the fact that that was offensive

to them as well. Well, can we take you out with our COVID-19 remix? Yeah. Remember you got our production engineer to waste a lot of time remixing COVID-19 commercials

into like Darude Sandstorm, wasn't it? Yeah, make it a little bit fancier, you know, for the parties. It was the big hit of a couple of years ago. For the picnics? Yeah, for the picnics, yeah. Call Healthline about a COVID-19 test.

By getting a test, you're helping keep your community safe. Keep your community safe. Wait for it, wait for it. We're going to drop. This is a COVID-19 announcement. There we go. All gas, no brakes.

Here we go. Keep your community safe. There we go. Yeah, there we go. That one, you know. That's what they don't get complained about now. Well, she we go. That one, you know. Yeah, that's what that'll get complained about now. Well, she said, did bring back kind of some, ugh, anyway. It does, that noise.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Chatting as a parent with the kids, it's always tricky. I find a big part of being a parent, though, is negotiation. When they're younger, when they're a toddler, it's like negotiating with a drunk person. They don't really use, you know, rationale, you know you know some do and for many years you they go no why just because it just because as you know they never argued it i know and now you know i find because as your kids get a little bit older the the tactic that i like to employ they're starting to call me up on and the tactic is that you delay the answer you don't want to be just the no person

all the time no but you also also you can go i'll go and ask the go and ask the weaker parent yeah when you are the weaker no sorry go and ask the stronger parent who can say no yeah yeah but sometimes i'll be going oh hey we'll talk about this later we'll talk about it with mom we'll talk about it and this is all tactics buying Buying myself some time, kind of like a politician. And the kids are like Paddy Gower now, go, go. Relentless. And now they're like, hang on. They call me out about it.

They're like, we know that when you say that, it's not going to happen. I'm like, you know, you're right. You're right. I'm just trying to delay things in the hope that they forget about it. But they're relentless. They've got nothing else going on in their life. You've got a hundred other things. All they're focused on is getting this one thing across the line.

Yeah, and at the moment, one of my daughters is wanting a pair of shoes for the uniform that all the other kids have got. They've got these shoes. And I'm doing exactly what my mum would do and go, your shoes are fine. Your shoes are fine. They're fine. Maybe when there's time to change your shoes,

that's when we can have a look at that. And I had a look online at the price of these shoes. The other kids, I'm going, oh, my goodness. You're like, well, pick this. Let's pick this back up in 2025. Yeah. And I was like, well, you're buying shoes for a very small amount of time because their feet grow so fast.

And I tried the other tactic last night. I was like, don't you want to be unique? Don't you want to be different? If all your friends have got that, don't you want to stand out and be right? The last thing a teenager wants to do is stand out and be different. Blend in, keep your head down. And their crappy shoes. But yeah, but no, but she was like, well not really. If I got the choice

I'd rather be the same as everyone else. And then I thought back to my childhood and I went too far the other way when I tried to be unique and different and now I regret that. Wearing a duvet, a Looney Tunes duvet that got made into a ball outfit. I mean that was trying to be different. Now I'm like, oh, why don't I just try to be like everyone else? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Hey, my lovely daughter Poppy, she had cross-country yesterday. It's cross-country season, isn't it, across New Zealand? And not many people in this world like running, do they? And your kids, do they like running? They don't hate it compared to other stuff. They don't mind it too much. But overall, running, even people who do running at the Olympics don't look like they're having a good time when they're running.

So generalising it, running sucks for a lot of people. And she's one of them. She hates it. So Sunday, she was like, it's 2.2 kilometers. And I was like, do you want to know how far that is? And so then we measured it out, the distance from our place to the school. And I was like, well, that's 550 meters. Yeah.

So it's not even a kilometer. So there and back, you're hitting around the K mark. And she's like, can we go do a practice run? And so went and halfing, parthing. Jeez, it was like could we go do a practice run and so went and huffing puffing geez it was a tough it was a big run was it you or it was me yeah wheezing yeah i was crying it was you know throwing tantrums i can't do this you're like well good because you don't have to and she was like just hurry up man uh but you know by the time we got home i was like well this is only halfway yeah and she was just reading cross country yesterday

and i was like just see yourself a goal just a goal not to stop just try and run the entire time and she did oh awesome ran the entire time came 44th that doesn't matter it does not matter it does not matter ah that's awesome yeah no but so i was very proud on the day those sort of things are when you get caught you know it's a lot easier when you're in a race and competition to kind of you know yeah just when you're out there with dad and he's making your race yeah but you know that's running that's running i mean even dom harvey he started a podcast called runners only he doesn't even like running because now he's interviewing people that aren't running i think he likes running i think he likes right i do remember my daughter sienna uh because i was

like hey you've got to motivate yourself when When she was doing cross-country, the same thing. And finding her in her bag at the end of the day, she'd written a little note going, you can do it, Sienna, like a little pep talk note for herself. I was like, oh, that's pretty cute. Did she take it with her? Yeah, well, she didn't know that I'd seen it. She'd just written her own little note, like a little motivational,

you can do it.