Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: The Best Letter Ever!

Episode Date: June 18, 2023

What is the best letter you have received?? What is down your car crack! Jono's lost something again.. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Now I need to apologise to you. Friday we were leaving Cambridge. We were there for a live broadcast for field days, weren't we? Had a great time there at the deli. Yeah, it was awesome. On the corner there in Cambridge, broadcasting from the cafe. Now, we had a textbook departure. Shaked hands, done the hugs, done the kisses, did a couple of TikToks. We did some TikToks. You're right. We packed up all the gear, packed up the flags.

Couldn't have gone better. The departure couldn't have gone better. Driving out of Cambridge, I typed into Google Maps. I was like, we're back at 11.29, team. Buckle up, settle in for the drive. And then five minutes out of Cambridge, bing, my phone goes. Now, I have told you recently that my wife is up to here. Can't see me on radio, but I have my hand over my head.

Up to here with me losing my wallet and keys. Yeah, right. So she bought me like this tracking device that I put in the wallet. Phone bings. Oi, idiot, you've left your wallet, which is inside the bag with your laptop and stuff, back in the wallet. Phone bings. Oi, idiot. You've left your wallet, which is inside the bag with your laptop and stuff, back at the cafe. It wasn't giving me that much detail,

but I knew where the wallet was. And so then I'm like, guys, I know I've had a good departure. We've got to go back. We've got to go back. We have to turn around. And no one ever, like once you've had a great leaving, no one ever wants to go back.

But there's part of me going, could I just leave that laptop there? Because they think we're legends for the way we've lived. Yeah, you're right, we have to go back and do it again. And you walk back in and everyone's like, oh, you're back. And you're like, don't make a scene. Yes, I'm back. Yeah, we've done everything. Yeah, and you hang your head in shame.

But everyone's always, they give you that look of, oh, we've all been here, buddy. Forgetting. So then you have to kind of get your items and I'm sorry. Oh, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just surprised.

You don't keep your wallet in your pocket. You put it in your bag. Yeah, all over the place. Yeah. Yeah, throw it all over the shop. So I'm lucky that you did on this occasion put it in your bag. Otherwise you would have been.

Also need to publicly thank Jen for this tracking device too. Thank you for buying that. Good way, I thought a great way If like If you were a stalker Buddy slip one of those Into someone's pocket eh

Little tag Well I think probably that Is probably happening actually Oh is it Yeah I think it is Yeah I think I read that's happening It's a bit dodgy in bars and stuff

People will do that Yeah Oh that's sad Yeah I probably should have said that On the radio The hits The Jono and Ben podcast.

Just mentioned before, we left, speaking of the Waikato, left Cambridge, departed in a blaze of glory on Friday. Then I had to awkwardly make us turn around because I'd forgotten my wallet. And someone's just texting going, one of the most common locations where people lose items they don't even know, the car crack. You know, the little crack between your centre console and your driver's seat.

Or the driver's seat and the driver's door. Just that little... So the gaps between the seats, the side of your seats. It feels like you lose stuff there and it's very hard to get stuff from there as well. Or clean. If you're trying to get a vacuum cleaner down there, forget about it. Can't. No.

And it's not enough. They can't accommodate. It's not designed to fit the human hand, that gap, is it? Not even Donald Trump's cute little hands could slide in there and get anything. So every time I look down there, it's just an oasis of stale takeaway chips that have fallen down as I've been eating and driving. Hand sanitiser for me. Many, many good bottles of hand sanitiser

I've lost down there. Very hard to get down there. Pour out some hand sanitiser for those lost bottles of hand sanitiser. I found my, I lost my work swipe card and I went to poor Jo who works here at the Hits and she looks after all the swipe cards. I was like, it's gone, mate. MH370 stuff just disappeared.

It's a mystery. And she's like, have a look around. A lot of people lose them in their car. Anyway, back and forth. Two weeks later, I got a new swipe card. Then I looked under the seat. Oh, and the car gap. It had gone down the car crack.

So this is what we want to chuck open this morning. Fun one for a Monday. 0800 the Hits, 4487. Right now, what's down your car crack? You probably haven't checked it. You might be driving into work, if you can do that safely, or driving to school, wherever you are. Have a check.

Get the passenger to do it, whatever. Let's find out the most random items that you could find right now. In your car crack. Yeah. And when you're doing the search and rescue mission, you have to come in from the back end. You have to come in from your knees, from the back seat. Oh, if something's right underneath. Yes, you're doing the search and rescue mission, you have to come in from the back end. You have to come in from your knees, from the back seat. Oh, if something's right underneath, yes, you're right.

And then you kind of put your hand in there and you're just waiting for something to bite it. Yeah. It's a dark, cavernous cave down there, isn't it? So 0800 the hits, 4487. Have a look down your crack. We're talking this morning, one of the most common places people seem to lose stuff

is in the car crack, the little gap between the seats and your car when you're sitting there in the front yeah very hard to access to once it goes down that crack it's really yeah yeah and you forget you've dropped something down there as well don't you because cell phones slide down there perfect oh no keys also a lot of uh we wanted to people to check right now what is inside their car crack and a lot of great texts are coming through man this is probably i know there's some big issues affecting the world right now ben you know there's a war going on in the ukraine uh kim kardashian's got some new butt implants

but this is the big topic this morning uh some great texts coming through here on 4487 let's go to kasania in wellington what's going on, Kasania? What's in your car crack? Well, I found long-lost lip balm, quite a few lip balms. A lot of lip balms? Oh, yeah, lip balms. Yeah, I imagine that fall down there. Quite a few protein bars. A lot of protein slipped down there as well, yeah.

And I found quite a few mummified mandarins. Mummified mandarins as well. And so you've been driving along with cracked lips, not knowing where the balm is. Because you do a clear out probably every six months of what's under the seat, don't you? Oh, probably six months or two

a month, probably, yeah. There we go, a glorious treasure chest of used lip balms and mummified mandarins in Kasania's car crack. We're going to go to Martin. Welcome, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Driving to work this morning, Martin? I've just arrived.

Just arrived and you've looked down the side of your seat. What's in the car crack? Two McDonald's fries and a pen. Fries, as you said before, John, are very common, aren't they? The unsettling thing about the McDonald's fries is they still look as good as the day you bought them. They seem to age well, don't they? Yeah, you can put those things up. They're good for round two.

Thank you, Martin. You go and have a great week, mate. Lovely to have you on. You guys too. Enjoy yourself. Yeah, you too. Tim, you're on. Welcome.

What's in the car, Crack Timbo? Vapes. Oh, vapes. I imagine, yeah, they'd fall down. You take a drag or two of the vape and you put it down and put it in the centre console and it ends up sliding down and into the car crack. And once it gets into the car seat rail, you can't get it out again. No.

$20 down the floor again, get another one. It's gone. It's done. How many vapes have we lost down there? At least two to three. They're still in the middle thing that goes between the car seats, so never getting that again. Slots perfectly in as well.

Yeah. It's almost like the universe is trying to tell you something there, Tim. Yeah, that's a lie. You're going to have a great week, mate. Appreciate your call. You too. Cheers. Yeah, cheers. Listen, I lost're going to have a great week, mate. Appreciate your call. You too. Cheers. Yeah, cheers.

Listen, I lost my car keys down the car crack. Had no way to access from the back either. Didn't have back record because it was a two-door car and had to sit in the car park waiting for someone to come along in the AA with a hook mechanism. Well, that's the thing. Sometimes you've got the cars that you know the keys are in there, the car will start but you don't know where they are, often they'll be down

Oh the fob's hidden away. Yeah They're down in the car car crack as well The car car crack, well there we go that was probably the most popular thing we've ever done Great way to make us feel good on a Monday morning team Thanks to One Roof Property we have been for many weeks getting people in the draw to get their rental mortgage paid for an entire 12 months. A real life changing moment and on Friday it happened.

Chloe and Jake had the key, the lucky key that unlocked their rental mortgage paid for 12 months thanks to One Roof. It's opened! The door opens! Yes. Emotional scenes, there were tears, there were hugs, there was an enormous amount of confetti

that they required cleaning afterwards and Chloe, a couple of days later, joins us from the Hawke's Bay. One word to sum it all up, Chloe. Unbelievable. Good word. Still has that sunk in yet, a couple of days later? Oh, no.

No. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, we'll contact you Monday. It'll sink in. And I was like, oh, gosh. I don't feel like it has. Has anyone contacted you yet? We're usually pretty bad on the old admin Yeah, so I've talked to Adam and Megan

First thing this morning Oh nice Yeah, so they rang me And just were asking me sort of blow by blow How it was Blow by blow, how was it for you? When you're putting the key in, did you have a feeling it was going to turn? What were you thinking?

I was convinced it was number four right because you were number three yeah i just thought okay put it in when it doesn't turn you know say thank you smile and say good luck to the other contestants yeah and it's like um you know like it's easy for me to say this because i won but um it was it was kind of like once we met everybody and they were just really awesome people, I just, I didn't care anymore. You know, once we were there, it was like, oh, if we win, that would still be amazing for us and our family.

But if they win, you knew we were going to have a good night. Oh, yeah, and everyone there was amazing. And you were all getting along like a house on fire. One of my favourite moments, I think you were being interviewed just before you were putting the key on. You're like, hey, if we don't get it, you said exactly that. Happy for whoever wins. And Bogsy, our CEO, yells out,

saying you want to win, and you did. Yeah, we did. So I am very happy we won. Yeah, and so what did you do straight after? What was Friday night like? We all kept, me and the other, there were three key holders because obviously Hayley was quite pregnant. She was two weeks off, so she left.

But the other three, we all went out with our partners. Late night burger because we definitely needed one. Dancing, a few injuries. Oh, injuries, wow. Yeah, I flipped on an old telecom, you know, the metal plate in the ground, and I was like, oh, they're not even here anymore. Who do I sue? So you rolled an ankle on some dated telecom technology.

Oh, that's normal. I'm pretty clumsy. Well done. Yeah, Chloe, that's incredible. Any idea what you want to do with the extra money that you've got? Yeah, yeah. So we've been doing up a 100-year-old villa in Waipukuro for the last three years. It was only meant to take a year.

But when we ran out of money, you know, you go to top up your mortgage. And that was back when the banks were like, nah. So we borrowed some money. So that's the first thing. And then, yeah, that's the first thing that'll go, which will change us, you know, weekly. Those payments are gone, which will be amazing. Oh, good.

Yeah, and the rest can sit there. Doing up a 100-year-old villa in Waipukarau sounds like a giant ball ache. So good on you for doing that project. Yeah, we'll blame Jake. We'll blame Jake. But hey, his favorite color was green and it won, so we'll forgive him. Hey, well But hey His favourite colour Was green and it won So we'll forgive him

Hey well Congratulations to you And Jake Chloe It was lovely to meet you And all the finalists On Friday night Take care of yourself And enjoy that extra money

Thank you so much The Hits The Jono and Ben Podcast My daughter Indy Was driving around The other day And she was talking About her dreams

Her hopes and dreams For her life Just out of the blue? Yeah, just pretty much out of the blue. She just kind of asked me what my dreams and hopes were and I was kind of like, you know, you get past that sort of stage. So your dreams die, darling. Yeah, yeah.

So I didn't really want to be a doubter. I just sort of made it all more about her. Yeah, you reach a point in life where you're just existing. Yeah, and I was like, well, what would be your, you know, what are your dreams? And this was the first one what's your dream oh so basically i've got two so one is to be able to like drive not not drive but just be like be in a limo like how cool would that be so be in a limousine it was so not drive it as but be inside a limousine i I was like, out of all your dreams in life, that's probably, I mean, it's achievable.

Expensive, but achievable. Yeah. I'm sure you can get even like a half an hour ride in a limousine. I'm sure there might be someone who is driving a limousine for a job right now who could make Indy's dream come true. Oh, true. Give us a text, 4487. But the second dream was a little trickier to achieve. This was her dream.

And then my second one would be to get a letter from the king. If you're 100 years old, I've heard that you get a letter. Oh yeah, because she used to get letters from the queen, right? Yeah. Yeah, but unfortunately she didn't make 100. So she didn't write herself her own letter. So she wants a letter from the king. To get to 100 years old, which, yeah, as I said,

many people would have, you know, family members and stuff might have got a letter from the queen to get to 100. Yeah, I love Indy. She's a long-term thinker, isn't she? Very long-term. She's booking out her calendar for 89 years away. Yeah, it's a long, long way away. It's great to set goals, but it feels like a goal you could set yourself

when you're about 95, 96 like if I kick on for another few years this is what's keeping me alive now rather than keeping you alive at 11 years old but yeah interesting I mean I don't imagine anyone listening right now has a family member who's ever got a letter from the Queen

oh mate yeah if you have 0800 the hits 4487 we should actually go what's the best letter you've received yeah okay I get a lot of love letters from the council saying we'd love you to pay of the hits, 4487. We should actually go, what's the best letter you've received? Yeah. Okay.

I get a lot of love letters from the council saying, we'd love you to pay these outstanding parking fines. The parking fines are so good, they're outstanding. They keep writing more and more mail, don't they? Yeah. Every week I'm getting one of those letters reminding me about how much they would love me to pay those fines. So that's Jono's

best letter. What about you? Well, I'd love to hear from you. Mate, I've come with the content. I've done my part. Yeah, to be honest, I can't remember a good letter that I've ever received. You know me, even cards,

even when it comes to cards for birthdays, I don't. I look, I read, I put straight into the recycling. I'm like, oh, that's nice. You prefer the $5, don't you? The man is like, put them on the shelf. I'm like, yeah, for a week

and then I'll put them in the recycling. Now I'm just getting, you know, I'm stopping that extra process. Slip $5. Amanda's like, put them on the shelf. I'm like, yeah, for a week, and then I'll put them in the recycling. Now I'm just getting, you know, I'm stopping that extra process. Slip $4.50, the price of the card in there? Yeah. I love that. All right, so that's 4487. What is the best letter that you've ever received? My daughter, Indy, one of her hopes and dreams is to live to 100

and get a letter from the royal. Oh, it would be with a king. I get, well, probably not that king, though, would it be, if Indy makes it to 100 and get a letter from the rule. Oh, it would be with a king? Well, probably not that king, though, would it be, if Indy makes it to 100? Yeah, it'll definitely be a new king by then. It would be. It might not even be William. It'd be William.

No, it might not even be him. Or Georgie. Well, if Indy gets to 100, it probably would be one of the kids. Yeah, Georgie, get a letter from Georgie. So, yeah, you do apparently get a letter for turning 100, for just being around. Which is pretty, I mean, it's a pretty amazing feat. So we wanted to know this morning, what is the best letter that you've ever gotten?

There's been a few royal ones coming through. Amazing ones. I always love seeing those hundred-year-old people on the news and they're just sitting there going, end it now. Yeah, I'm done. Let's go to Jane in Whakatane. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Best letter you received, Jane-o. Hey, yes.

My daughter was born on Prince George's received, Jano. Hey, yes. My daughter was born on Prince George's birthday, just ahead of him, actually. And we received a letter sealed from Buckingham Palace, saying that Her Majesty would like to wish her all the best on the birth. So I thought that was fantastic. That's really nice. Just out of the blue.

So my auntie had contacted them, because what they were doing was giving out CDs from a singer for anyone born on that birthday. So my auntie wrote, and we got the reply. We never got the CD, but we got the reply. What was the CD? Do you know what the CD was? No, no, it's not important.

Didn't receive it. No, and it's data technology anyway now, isn't it, Jane? That's right, exactly, exactly. Oh, that's a lovely story. Really appreciate that. No worries. A text here. Hey, guys, exactly. Oh, that's a lovely story. Really appreciate that. No worries. A text here. Hey, guys, my name's Stan.

I got a nice letter back from Eminem back in the day. Thank you for that text on 4487. Let's go to Kelly in Whanganui. How are you? Hi, good morning. And now you've got it. Your grandma's had the 100th letter. Yes, she did last month in May.

So she got the letter from King Charles. What does it say? Yeah, no, she was slightly disappointed. She was wanting one from Lizzie, but you know, it is what it is. Yeah. Was it getting to any detail or was it a pretty standard sort of letter?

Pretty standard letter. It was quite fancy, actually, if I'm honest. You know, all the posh writing and all that type of thing. And then she got a letter from the Prime Minister as well, Martin, today. Oh, that is very special. I love that. She's a large part of the King's Day, must be taken up with writing letters to randos. Oh, it totally must be, eh? Let's go to Hauraki. Tricia, you're on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. The best letter you received. That's what we're talking about today.

Good morning. Yes. The letter I received was to accept me into Teachers College down in Dunedin. I was a single mum at that stage, working part-time. I walked out to the letterbox, got my letter. I was so excited. I ran back inside and rang my mum and read it to her. And then I said, now I've missed the bus. Can you come round and read it to her and then I said now I've missed

a bus can you come around and get me to take me to work yeah but 20 years ago and at this moment I'm on my way to kindergarten oh life-changing letter that's amazing you're right beautiful I remember that time I got one ticket yeah I got into Hogwarts and it was you know it was pretty cool it was it was a big moment for you was pretty cool. Life-changing as well. It was a big moment for you. It's a great text here. My daughter yesterday received a six cent refund from the Inland Revenue. My one got a four cent refund.

You did, I saw that. Geez, they're handing out the big bucks at the moment, the IRD, aren't they? Hey, thank you very much for your calls. Really appreciate it. Well, you were talking just moments ago, Ben, about that Kiwi hero who's made a blue V pie. Getting some pep in your step. Well, this is like the blue V for your ears. And today, if you're not drenched in cash, okay, you're not Donald Trumping it, you're not Jeff Bezos-ing it. Well, then this will make you feel a bit better about life.

With money, you can buy a house, but not a home. With money, you can buy a clock, but not time. With money, you can buy a bed, but not sleep. With money, you can buy food, but not appetite. With money, you can buy a doctor, but not good health. With money you can have insurance, but not safety. And this is the problem that we all have. There are things that you cannot buy with material wealth, with money.

Interesting. I like the guy, the hype guy in the background. Wow. Yeah. Let's be honest though. With money you can guy in the background. Wow. Yeah. Let's be honest, though. With money, you can buy a lot of great stuff. Yeah. You can buy pills.

Yeah, sure. You can buy a bed and can't sleep. Buy pills to make you go to sleep. He's like, you can't buy security. You're like, well, yeah. You can buy a whole team of security gadgets with money. I love the internet, too. First comment.

With money, I can buy a too. First comment, with money, I can buy a house and I can buy a wife to turn it into a home. First comment on the internet there. Yeah. But I guess the point's there, you know, the fact that money's there.

I get his message. Yeah. But we do place so much importance on money, don't we? Yeah. Even the core values of radio, giving away money,

you know, to make people like us more. Well, hey, it was a life-changing moment, as we spoke about earlier. Yeah. On Friday night, we gave away all that money, you know, the whole year of mortgage and rent for Chloe and Jacob in Hawke's Bay. Well, then play that to them. Play that bit of audio to them.

Yeah, but that's not – yeah. They'll be like, shut up, internet guy. We've got a mortgage paid for for 12 months. Money has brought us happiness. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Taylor joining us in the studio for a brand new game that you can win if we help you win on 0800. The Hits scores news or not?

Not, not, not, not, not. We haven't got an intro for it, so just tried to add some live special effects there. A collection of news stories that aren't quite credible enough to feature in the proper news. Is that right, Taylor? Yeah, pretty much. And so how does this work? Okay, so they're all bizarre headlines. So three news stories, two are true, one is false. You have

to guess which one is false. Let's hit the kaiapui and get Y video on the phone. How are you, Yvette? I'm good, thank you. Tell us something fun about you. Something fun about me? Oh, my gosh. You sound fun. I don't know. That's sort of a tricky question this hour of the morning. I know. It's Monday as well.

You're like, no one's fun on a Monday morning. No, no, no. Anyway, we're going to use our detective skills and try and decipher through intense investigation with you, Yvette, to try and win you, okay? Okay. Okay, so two of these are... True. True.

One is false. All right, take it away. Okay. Woman who came back to life and knocked on own coffin during wake has died again. Now, there was a story you were talking about last week. Yeah, we knew that she came back to life, but did she die again? Okay. Okay, second knew that she came back to life, but did she die again? Okay. Okay, second one for Yvette.

People born with hazel eyes most likely to become serial killers, university proves. Could be fact. I'm running hazel, and I do watch a lot of crime and investigation channel. I've always said to Ben I could commit the perfect murder and get away with it. Okay. All right, Number three. The Great Barrier Reef is the latest victim of common STD, leaving researchers stunned.

So Great Barrier Reef's contracted a disease. A venereal disease. Okay. All right. Jeez. Hard game. This is a tough game. You said it was too early on the Monday morning to think of something fun about yourself.

How about try and figure out a... Which is the not the news story? Yes. Which is the false one? The one that I've made up. That Taylor has made up, Producer Taylor. What are you leaning towards, Yvette? Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. They're all quite bizarre, aren't they? I would probably say... What do you reckon? I'm thinking the Great Barrier Reef. How can a reef contract? Yeah, I know. It's weird, isn't it?

It's a lot of tourists. Yeah, I suppose there's a lot of swimmers there. Ben? I'm that one or the hazels are the serial killers for me. Okay, I'll open you to your event. You can pick the hazel eyes or the Great Barrier Reef. Which one is made up? I think it's the Great Barrier Reef

Alright, let's lock it in Well, unfortunately, that's incorrect That is a real news story Oh my goodness The Great Barrier Reef, its coral has contracted chlamydia Wow What, from people swimming there? I didn't read the rest of the story

Classic Yeah, apparently it's got chlamydia-like bacteria. So it's a bacterial thing, so maybe it's just from the water and stuff. So which is the one that's not a new story? The hazel eyes. Oh, you were right, Ben. Yvette, we can't all be winners, especially not on a Monday

morning, mate, but it's been a joy talking to you. We've won. We've won the prize of a lifetime talking to you. Yvette. You have a great day. Oh, lovely. Thank you. Now, what was this? You had a painstaking experience shopping.

Well, yeah, I did over the weekend, and it reminded me of another experience, which was quite funny in hindsight. But over the weekend, we took... My father-in-law went out shopping with him. He needed to get some stuff. He's in a retirement home. So we took him out. Because you moved him into the retirement home, didn't you?

And you said that was interesting, trying to avoid being stopped by elderly people who had nothing else to do but talk. They just want to chat, which is lovely. But after a while, you're just like, I just need to move these boxes. My arms were getting very sore holding them aloft while people had chats. You're concentrating less on what they're saying to you and just more on the core strength that I didn't have. But we took my father-in Nell shopping over the weekend. And I mean, it was fine, but there's two types of shoppers. I feel like there's people that just want to get in and get out,

and there are other people that enjoy the experience and don't mind it. And for him, shopping, it was a get in, get out situation. Whereas we've got the kids, they want to go into Mecca, a beauty store, and look at the free samples. And all this was sort of adding to the frustration of the get in get out experience i just want to go back to the village yeah fair point yes and it reminded me of a time that um i took my my nana when grandpa when they when they were alive my nana was like can you take grandpa shopping he needs to get some new pants and it it was on me. And he's a get in, get out situation as well. Old men, they have no time for shopping, do they?

I love seeing a couple, an elderly couple, she's making him put pants on and he's just bickering and arguing. This was me though. This was me in that situation. So I got to take him in. I don't know why. She obviously went, I don't want to do it. You take him in.

You take him into the guy's store. You go get some pants. So I'm like, all right, I'll take him in i don't know why she obviously went i don't want to do it you take him in you take him into the guy's store you go get some pants so i'm all right i'll take him into pants i've had years of this and so i was passing pants through you know through to him to try on i kept getting different sizes paying these pants none of them were right none of them were right they weren't working for him oh it was all sorts of issues that were like the material the length the sizing everything and i just thought we thought, well, try these one on. These are on. The price was wrong. This was wrong.

And in the end, he was like, I've had enough. He sat down. He was like, I had enough. I don't want to try on any more pants. I'm like, all right, Grandpa. Okay, fine. And so I handed him through the thing. I just handed him.

All right, there you go. And he went and he had a look at the thing. He was like, size 87. He said, I'm not a size 87 I'm not putting these on I was like Grandpa they're your pants

these are the pants you came in with I know that you don't want to try on any more pants put on your pants and let's get out of here put on your pants

but even his own pants he was like I refuse to put these on you can't make me put on those pants I always think of those wonderful scenes in movies where it's a montage of people trying on different clothes at the changing room.

And it's happy. And they're happy. It's like upbeat pop music going. It's the opposite in real life, isn't it? Yeah. Especially going shopping with a grumpy 90-year-old. He's like, what's the point in pants? It's all about to end soon anyway.

I don't need anything on my legs.