Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: The Cakeathon begins!

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

The Cakethon kicks off and the boys are doing "a lot" to help... Does your name match your job? Jono fights for a car park. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. We're here. It's happening. Over the next couple of days, Jono, we're trying to make every single cake from the iconic birthday cake book. We're from the Chelsea Sugar Factory. Tell you what, they've really got into the Barbie mode here at the Chelsea Sugar Factory. A lot of pink. I think that's just normal. Yeah. They haven't painted everything pink for Barbie? No, I think that's just their thing as well, before Barbie. I thought they painted the whole, there's a whole factory pink.

Yeah, well, maybe they love the Barbie thing. But today, Barbie cake is just one of the many cakes we're going to be trying to make over the next couple of days. Yeah, looking forward to it. 106 cakes. And I tell you what, we're going to have to have prolific output, Ben Boyce. We're going to have to have the output of a Chinese sweatshop, mate. We're going to be working hard. We said we want to get a lot done today so it eases the pressure for day two.

I feel like we're wasting valuable time even now just talking about it and not starting on cakes. But if you're wondering why and how and how it all came together, well, here's a wee recap. I was clearing out some stuff over the weekend and I found a book that I remember distinctively from my childhood. This book, Jono. The Australian Women's Weekly Children's Birthday Cake Book.

Oh, this was a simpler time too. We weren't stressing about lactose intolerant, gluten-free children, were we? It's like you ate the cake and you dealt with the consequences afterwards. Not the train. My mum would whip me if I was a kid in New Zealand. Too much work. The train was almost like a sustained chapel of the book, wasn't it? But anyone else?

You're on the duck with the chips for a mouth. The pool that looks a bit toxic green with the weird baby swimming in it. That's right. Unsupervised. But the filtration system had definitely gone on that pool because it was like green jelly surrounded by chocolate fingers. Yes. My brother's birthday, mum tried to make the rugby ball,

could not make it stick. So the rugby ball quickly became volcano. And unfortunately, the volcano started to look like a pair of boobs. Oh, so your brother got a pair of chesticles for his birthday. Yes. Mum, we're just talking about the Australian Women's Weekly Birthday Cake Cookbook. I did actually make something that should have been a cloud. And one of your friends said, what a nice dog.

You had the crazy idea yesterday that we should try and bake every single cake from that book. 106 cakes is a lot. The more hands, the better. I've been listening about these cakes and it's a brilliant idea, but man, where are you getting all the eggs and the butter from? Shelley's on the phone right now. Share some advice for us. I sure do. I would have

get Patrick Cakesmith. He'll be way faster. You're not preparing it too fast. We were told about the egg shortage. We're going to buy sponges, pre-made sponges, Shelley. Fair enough. That's a good idea. You are coming to the Edmonds Baking School, which is part of the Chelsea Bay Visitor Centre and the Chelsea Sugar Factory.

Oh, the Chelsea Sugar Factory. Must be a nightmare with the bloody ants there. 106 cakes, two days. Can it be done? Absolutely. Hello, we've got hold of the newsroom. Yes. Are you in the market for a hot

lead in the news game? Yeah, we're just wondering what the top story is going to be at 6pm on the news with Simon Della. We thought maybe this could be it. Wow. Can I wish you good luck for that? Thank you. What are we doing? Do you want a half hour exclusive interview? What are you after? We're available. Sorry, no.

Okay. Best of luck, eh? Best of luck best of luck we've got to beat the do you want to do the tape right or do you want to get the audio mate the audio would probably be ideal audio first tape second there we go

Jenny can I apologise I mean just because you're genetically linked you don't need to be dragged into this you never know what comes out of that. You might enjoy it.

You just don't know what's going to happen. Well, it fills in time for your mum, you know? Yeah, that's right. Retired, boring old fart, I know. Yeah, so my mum, even my mum's going to be here today trying to help us make all these 106 cakes. We're going to get to it very shortly. but if you want a cake, you can register at thehits.co.nz.

Got an exciting day ahead of us, Ben boys. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're live from the Chelsea Bay Sugar Factory. We're doing 106 cakes over two days from the famous Children's Birthday Cake book. We'll bring you back to that very shortly. But last night, Ben, we were honoured, weren't we? We do.

We've got a side hustle. We rent ourselves out. We rent ourselves out for, I'm making us sound like strippers or something, for MC events. And you know, we can do anything. Corporate events, children's birthdays, gang initiations. There's no event we won't MC.

That's probably actually quite true. I was going to say it's not true, but hey, we're available. Comancheros, you're having a gang initiation? Hire us. We can lighten up the event. We'll turn up in our matching suits and tell some jokes, introduce some awards and things like that. Well done to Spider. Here's your patch.

We'll tell a few gags, you know, that sort of thing. But last night we were doing it for some supermarkets, a big awards night, which is really, as you say, it was a real honour to be there and to be part of the evening. You kind of get an insight into some amazing businesses around the country. This was foodstuffs. Yeah, and you meet some wonderful New Zealanders as well.

And jeez, you don't know how hard supermarket owner-operators work. You've heard of the structure of the week. How many days in the week? Well, seven last night, I checked. They're all working all seven. Yeah. All and some big hours apparently there's only one i think christmas day is the only day the supermarkets closed isn't it um yeah one day off and i imagine they're probably restocking shelves because of the christmas rush yeah so uh yeah it was wonderful to meet them but we there was a lot of pressure on us because behind us was a enormous curtain

and i would say 30 without a word of life 30 40 meters wouldn't you say the curtain was on us because behind us was an enormous curtain. I would say, without a word of lie, 30, 40 metres, wouldn't you say? The curtain was huge. It was one of the biggest curtains I've ever seen in my career. And it was meant to, at the end of the awards ceremony, Ben was going to click his fingers, the curtain was going to drop and reveal a whole other world, a bar and a nightclub, and then the musicians would start singing and that sort of thing. Yeah, there's a fantastical world for the sort of after-party after us.

And they were like, firstly to me, don't click your fingers early because that's the signal. That's the signal. So Ben was very conscious of keeping his forefinger and his thumb separated. Because otherwise this curtain would drop and it would be too soon. He was wandering around with hands like a Lego character, just to not give the fake signal. But it's called, and I never knew this, the Kabuki Drop.

Yeah, I didn't. When the curtain drops. First time I've been part of that. Kabuki Drop sounds like a dance move that I should be hitting the clubs with. But hey, there's a lot of pressure on us and we're not pressure guys. Like if it was a FIFA final, you're not putting us in front to kick the penalty kick. No, no, definitely not. But yeah, so earlier in the day we had a practice of it. We clicked the fingers and it was a FIFA final you're not putting us in front to kick the penalty kick no no definitely not but yeah

so earlier in the day we had a practice of it we clicked the fingers and it was great and then they went that was awesome but now it takes 45 minutes

for us to put the curtain back up we're like oh sorry this is a pain in the ass curtain yeah yeah for people but on the night a lot of pressure but it actually went really well

yeah if it didn't go well it was going to be curtains for us but thankfully you didn't but the whole time I'm just thinking, we're talking away and having to announce awards, but in the back of my mind I've just got curtain, curtain, curtain. Just ringing in the back of my mind.

Couldn't fully relax. Anyway, I went off without a hitch and it was wonderful. One of the musicians, he's like, I played at your wedding. I was like, which one? Which wedding? Oh, which one? No, from you guys, that must have been years ago i was like bro yeah the hits the jonathan ben podcast now ben you've done uh you just teased me with some you said come out some fascinating fascinating research this is kind

of like our version of rnz so you see you discuss with me this fascinating research. Does your name dictate the job, the career that you may end up doing? There was an article, and can I be honest? I got click baited. It was like, your name dictates where you work. Scientific research from a university. They've gone deep. I'm always, when they're like scientific research, I'm like, shouldn't science be dedicating its time to other stuff?

Not in this regard. So then they were like, people with the name Denise and Dennis, they found out are more likely to become dentists than someone with the name of, say, George or Georgie. And I was like, oh. If you were the researcher, I'd be like, hey, good hustle, mate. How are you getting along with the cure for cancer there? Oh, no, but I found out that Denise's and Dennis'sis's are most likely yeah right well i'll put you onto that cancer project have you have you got that i haven't they haven't saw that i would look into that but then i read through the rest of the article and they were like well there wasn't too many

other examples of other names so but but in doing my own research there is some fascinating names of people that have ended up in jobs that their names probably dictated. I mean, there's a firefighter. These are all true. Firefighter Les McBurnley. Okay. Water researcher called Andrew Drinkwater.

Perfect. Great name. Is there a lady in... Is there a lady called Sandra Human Resources in HR? No, but there's a volunteer. The head of the volunteer is called Alan Too Good. I think, you know. So it's led him to his career.

Music department, a Miss C Sharp. I'm looking on the Google here, Ben. That's right, I just called it the Google. It's called nominative determinism. And it's a hypothesis that says people tend to gravitate toward areas of work that fit their names. Someone I was talking to the other day, her name is Max. She used to, without a word of lie, work at Office Max. She was the Max from Office.

Well, she wasn't, but you know. I love it when you say without a word of a lie. I wouldn't believe you'd lie about that. You look like a trustworthy guy. Well, I don't lie about this. I haven't met the Chelsea from the Chelsea Sugar Factory, but I'm sure she exists. Ginny! Ginny!

Ginny, is there a Chelsea that works here? A Chelsea? No Chelsea? Oh, sometimes on the weekend. Oh, there is a Chelsea that works at the Chelsea Bay Sugar Factory where we're hanging out today. That was me yelling at a lady through glass. You couldn't hear what she was saying.

So under the hits, 4487, has your name dictated your job, your career? Or do you know someone in the same instance? Yeah, for example, is your name Kevin the Devil and you work for the Inland Revenue Department? The hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I want to know, does your name dictate your job? There's been some watery research into it that maybe it kind of leads you,

maybe even subconsciously, into a direction of that name. Nothing better than basing 10 Minutes of Radio on some watery research. Well, I thought it was really hard and fun. Then I read the article more, and I was like, that is pretty watery. But anyway, it feels like maybe this is a thing for some people.

Yeah, well, we have Googled it and this watery research does have a name. It's nominative determinism and it's the hypotheses that you gravitate towards a job that reflects your name. And Ben Boyce, your watery research is slowly solidifying into rock solid research. It's icicled now, is it? The text machine blowing up. I'm a courier and there's a fishing shop in the city that has a staff by the name of Rod at the fishing

shop and a net. A net. Rod and a net at the fishing shop. There you go. This is a good one here. My last name is Hawes and yes and yes. Okay, alright. There is a good one here. My last name is Hawes. And yes and yes. Okay, all right. There was a crystal from a crystal shop as well.

My music teacher at primary school, her name was Miss Horn. So it's, hey. Maybe it is a thing. Maybe it is a thing. We're going to get Robin on the phone. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Robin. Does your name suit your vocation? No.

Not yours? You're not Robin Banks or anything like that? Robin Banks. You're not a criminal? Robin what? What did you say? Robin Max? Robin,

near Ben said to you, Rob Banks, Robin Banks. Oh, sorry. No, not likely. It was a pun. It was a pun, all right. If I did,

I wouldn't need to go to work. No, sure. Okay, so you know someone. And I probably wouldn't be calling up the radio and admitting it. You know someone that has a job. It was a pun, all right. If I did, I wouldn't need to go to work. No, sure. Okay, so you know someone. And I probably wouldn't be calling up the radio and admitting it. You know someone that has a job that suits their name? No, probably not. Yeah, so I have a lawyer whose name is Mrs. Law. And she was a little bit scary.

And we were having a meeting about a legal matter. And she said, is there any questions? And I said, yes, can I ask you, is Laura your maiden name or your married name? And she said, it's my married name. And I said, so I wonder what you would be if you were married to someone called Mr. Plumber. Would you have been a plumber? And she's like, I just said, any questions? And that's the only one. you were married to someone called Mr Plumber, would you have been a plumber? And she's like, I just said any questions.

And that's the only... We've just had an hour-long legal meeting. The only question you've come back with. We need to get back to these. Did you rob the bank or did you not rob the bank? That's what I need to know. I have a question. Oh, Robin. It did make her smile, though.

She went from scary to laughing. That's awesome, Robin. You have a her smile, though. She went from scary to laughing. That's awesome, Robin. You have a great day. I appreciate your call. Another text here, 4487 coming through here. Without a word of a lie. Another person. Without a word of a lie, Ben.

My cookery teacher at school was Mrs. Cook. Ah. Yeah, that's a good one. It feels like it is a thing. It is a thing. My surname's Fortune, and no, I don't have one. Okay, well, maybe it's not a thing. We've got more people on our 100th of Hats.

Yeah, we'll go to Tiana. Welcome. You're on the air, Tiana. Your name, it suits your job. Yeah, I don't know if it suits, but I've got a stepsister with exactly the same name, and one of my best friends, her name is Tiana, and we all work with children.

And we all grew up together. Oh, so you're thinking maybe Tiana is, you know, I mean, there's the Disney princess. Maybe it's something in that. Tiana? Yeah. I don't know. But it's just weird. We all ended up working with children.

Three Tianas all working with children. Yeah. Kind of off topic, but I love it. I love it. So now we've gone back to watery research. children. Yeah. Kind of off topic, but I love it. I love it. So now we've gone back to watery research. Yeah. So I appreciate you

filling in your time. Tiara, and you were maybe, if your name was Tiara, you maybe were beauty pageants or something. I'd be like, oh, that's Tiara.

Yeah, but anyway, I tried to get something with the Disney princess. It didn't really work. He was reaching Tiara. I'll go back to that cancer research in just a second. Good on you. Thank you for listening, Tiana.

Go and have a great day. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Live from the Chelsea Bay Sugar Factory, 106 cakes from the famous children's birthday cake book, Ben Boyce. And cake number one's been completed by producer Taylor. That looks not bad, Taylor. What is it? That's the Hickory Dickory Watch.

The Hickory Dickory Watch with basically aickory Dickory Watch with, it's basically a clock face. Yeah. You've got hundreds and thousands. It's yellow. Is it safe to eat? Is it poisonous? Safe to eat. Don't rely on it for the time, though, because they're incorrect.

Oh, the Roman numerals don't match up. So you can't just keep moving around the time. No, I've made those up myself just with what I could do with the licorice. You can't just make up Roman numerals. Well, that's exactly what I've done. Now, Taylor, actually, great you're here because we were talking about this yesterday. There's a lot of discussion at the moment. Zoom in particular, the video calling service, has asked all of its employees to come back into the office.

And the irony has not been lost on the media. No, they're like, hang on, you're Zoom. You're all about working from home or wherever you are. But you know when Zoom's like, okay, you've had a laugh. It's time to come back into the office. Then maybe it is time for everyone to come back into the office. Now, what's your stance on this? Are you WFH or WFO?

That's working from office. Oh, okay. I'm 100% working from office. I think, you know, like, I reckon get everyone back. Morale is just like, I feel like some people, some people taking the mickey at home.

Like, I feel like... Name them. Name them in our company. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's Fridays, we're going to have Mondays. Oh, but you'll be here Tuesday. You know, like...

Loretta Davidson, you're one. Well, let's not name people. I don't know. I just feel like get everyone back in again. I feel like things happen so much easier and quicker if you can go talk to someone face-to-face and go, what about that thing, rather than setting up a Zoom, rather than setting up a meeting, rather than a phone call. I hear you, but then you've got commutes time.

You know, we're lucky. We get into work quick. That's true. Most people can be sitting in traffic, you know, two hours a day. Yeah, and sometimes two hours each way. Yeah, sometimes two hours each way. Yeah, you're right. Alright, okay. Jeez, you're so easily swayed. I would be a terrible

politician. Now, Taylor, you're a big working from home person. Yes, so I think a balance is good. So maybe like two days in the office, three days from home. That would be good for me. I feel like what are you doing at home? What are you up to at home? What am I paying you for as a boss if I was... Listen, people need to do laundry.

People need to wash their hair. I'm not paying you to do laundry. Why can't you? Because we get lunch breaks in the office. Imagine just popping off to your bathroom being able to wash your hair. Someone with thick hair like... Well, I can't imagine that, but...

It sounds fun. Yeah, I think why not? Like, as long as you do get the work done, then you're fine. Yeah, I'm looking at stats here. It says 74% of employees across the world are happier when they have the ability to work from home. So this is what we want to... Not me, mate.

As a pretend boss, I am taking it on. You're not paying Taylor to do her washing and... I'm not paying you to do your hair in the bathroom. Jono's taking the mickey. He's doing his hair in the bathroom. John O'Sake in the Mickey, he's doing his hair in the bathroom. See, I'm kind of like, if the options available for people, I'm going to sit on the

fence here. I think you need to, nowadays particularly with what happened in lockdown, we're like oh, this is going to reset the world. We're going to, oh we're just discovering. Like I think I was at the supermarket checkout and someone's like, oh this is just, you know, we now figure out what's important.

That's all gone, mate. We're like, back to the rat race, get into the office. Get in there, get in there. Bring your dog, don't bring your dog. I'm not sure, whatever. Yeah, so in that regard, I think just having an option available for people and people going, okay, if I do need to work from home,

I'm not going to get the guilts put on me. So what we want to do, 0800 THE HITS, 4487 is the text. Get a hold of New Zealand's Breakfast this morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Hey, we just talked this morning. A lot of discussion this week about working from home. Have people had a laugh, Ben? They're taking the mickle.

I feel like some people maybe are. But that's your trust issues with people. You've just got to trust people that they can do the job. No, but I feel like you give any human an opportunity, even me. Like in that situation, I'll be like, oh, okay. You know, like there's other stuff. You know, I feel like people aren't focused like they are if they were in an office situation. He likes productivity, don't you?

I tell you what, he is running this kitchen like a Chinese sweatshop. He is busting the chops. Taylor, three more cakes, come on. We're doing 106 cakes at the moment, and we've got three down so far. So yeah, working from home or working from the office. We'll get Marcus on. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Marcus. How are you?

I'm good, thanks. Can you hear me okay, guys? Yeah, loud and clear. Obviously not at home, given the state of the line. So what are you a fan of, working from home or working from the office? Flexibility of working from home because I'm actually in IT and being a solo dad, it also helps if my son is sick so I can also do all the pen work, if that makes sense.

That makes sense. Yeah. Now, what do you want to say to Marcus, Ben? You're like, get into the office, Marcus. I don't care about your sick kid. Oh, what? You're a solo dad? Who cares, mate?

No, I do care about that. No, you're right. Now I see I'm so easily swayed. I try and take a hard line, and now I'm like, oh, you're right, Marcus. Take the rest of the month off, mate. I wish I could, but they need me in the office because of cyber attacks that happen to my company. A cyber attack?

Oh, jeez. Yeah, they've gone on for the last month or so. Jeez, that's one hell of a cyber attack if it's been going on for four weeks. So good luck dealing with that, Marcus. This is why, Ben, you'd make a shocking talkback host. Every caller, you'd just change it. Good lot of text flowing and see you buddy a lot of text coming through on four four eight seven uh most employers this text read uh are also getting non-paid work from those people at home also on the weekends as

well so they've this text feels more productive at home you feel like it's balancing out across the hours and you might be working outside of your traditional you know eight to five nine to five hours as well uh listen i'm gonna be honest says this text i take a lot of naps when i work from home that's see this is what i'm saying is it what you're saying sometimes this is what i'm saying and then other times I'm swaying to the other side. And one text here, I haven't gone back to work since COVID. No way. I've just worked from home.

And that's another thing. Like, if you look from a business point of view, for what you would pay for an office building, any office space that they may have, you can just wipe those costs. WFH baby yeah a lot of people are still doing it although it does feel like you're saying before a lot of businesses are saying hey now can we get some people back in the office yeah I know looking at our one it's a bit bleak some days isn't it yeah yeah I know and Ben's like get the morale up he's a morale he's a vibes guy