Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: The Disastrous Public Proposal...

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

Public Proposal gone wrong + calls What to watch with Megan Papas Ben's dog is embarrassing him! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kia ora, welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. This is thanks to Dilma making the world a better tea. Do try it. And we do try it, Dilma. We do, every day. Mugs with our names on them. You've lost yours. Yours are in circulation with the office, aren't they?

Well, that was the worrying thing about, yeah, because we've got a couple with our names on it to use in the studio. But you're right, there's three Jono mugs out there. There's only one, Ben, in our kitchen because there's multiple kitchens around the office. So once they go into circulation, it's gone. You put it out with the population, the common population bin.

It's got my name on it, though. I was like, maybe this one will stick around. Where does all the bloody cutlery go in a work kitchen? There's one fork. We're all sharing one fork out there. Hungry Harrison, you spend a lot of time there. There's actually a secret drawer in the kitchen as well. There's two layers

to it. I don't think many people know about the second one. Full of cutlery. Mate, full of cutlery. Also, my flat drawer's full of cutlery. Yeah, that's where they end up going. That and Alanis Morissette's bloody kitchen, right? She only had, what, 10,000 spoons. Yeah, a lot of spoons. Too many spoons. I remember

when I was starting out in radio, we could take the milk home. Well, I don't know if we could, but a lot of people did. Well, you did. Yeah. There's a lot of people. Mainly you, and you saw one other person do it once. No, it was just me, really. I was the lot of people.

Yeah. Hey, today on the show, John Aitken from Married at First Sight. Oh, yeah, he's so so good He gets his own special podcast That'll be up today Oh of course He's getting a solo Yes We've got a new solo podcast too

So you can listen to him For relationship advice If the marriage is going to the dogs Well John Aitken will save it On our podcast He's got some really interesting thoughts You know on what you should be doing What the things you need to work on

If you're in a relationship And little daily things That you can do as well Yeah Which you probably You probably just get into autopilot Don't you you need to work on if you're in a relationship. And little daily things that you can do as well. Yeah. The key. You probably just get into autopilot, don't you, a lot of the time? Yeah, you're right.

Life's pressures get on top of relationships, don't they? As well as that, on today's podcast, though, you'll hear how my dog embarrasses me and what the soundtrack is to your household. A very unusual soundtrack you've got going on. Yeah, a lot of bickering American women. Jeez, they tell you,

they don't hold back these ones, too. Bickering here, bickering there. And Megan, Megan Pappas joins us too. She watches all 39 streaming services every week to bring you a couple of tips of what you could be watching. So it's probably a claimable expense for her, isn't it? Yeah, you're right. She should probably claim back that.

Anyway, enjoy the podcast. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. After Daylight Savings, of course, kicked in yesterday, and I went and took the dog for a walk. And just to give you a bit of a backstory, you know this. We've talked about this before. For some reason, and I like puns and all sorts of lowbrow comedy, but when it comes to comedy about passing wind,

for some reason it's not my thing. Yeah, no, you find you put yourself above it for some reason, and you don't like talking about it. I mean, it's almost been banned, that sort of content from the show. So yes, for me to bring up a story that involves passing wind,

it's obviously got to be something that... What did your adorable mother, Jenny Boyce, used to call them? Windy Pops. Windy Pops. Windy Pops. So I mean, maybe it's trauma from your childhood. Yeah, maybe it is. That's what it's dating back to. Windy Pops. Windy Pops. Windy Pops is the name. So, I mean, maybe it's trauma from your childhood. Yeah, maybe it is.

That's where it's dating back to. Windy Pops. But anyway, so I took my dog, Bo, out for a walk. Big, fluffy, doofus Bo, the dog we love. You really do have a lot of big, white doofuses in your life, don't you? Who embarrasses you more, the dog or me? Oh, it's probably 50-50, to be honest. The dog, yeah, I love the dog.

Love you both. Love you and the dog, Jono the dog love you both love you and the dog john i bet you both embarrass me from time to time and i was taking the dog for a walk as i do uh and went for a bit of a big walk and i you know there's always that thing where you blame the dog you know people always talk about oh you blame the dog for smells and all sorts because the dog can't you used to be able to do it blame the kids but then they start to cotton on to what's happening but dogs they can go through a whole career of having stuff pinned on them. And I'd heard people say that before, but I'd never heard the dog make audible noises out its...

Audible windy pops? Yeah, windy pops. And so we're walking along, just the two of us, and I was like, oh. It was like a few... And I was like, oh, maybe he's got a bit of an upset tummy. It's happening a few times. Just the two of us, so that's all good. All right, mate, you can eat some grass or whatever.

We'll take it slow, whatever. But then we run into some friends. Well, basically parents of one of my daughter's friends. And we stop and we have a conversation. And that's fine. And there's an odor. Well, no, there was a noise. Like we have a conversation and suddenly there's a noise.

And the noise is, and I'm like, and you know when you hear the noise and it sounds, and I didn't know what to, I kind of took, and I stopped. I should have probably said at that point. Did you not bring it up? No, I didn't. I thought maybe I could gloss over it and then I would carry on and then we'd keep continuing. And then it happened again.

And I was like, and then I went, oh, Bo. But you know, when you say it for the dog and everyone's like, you know. It was definitely you. Yeah, that's what all those everyone's like, you know. It was definitely you. Yeah, that's what all those people. And it wasn't. It was definitely not me. Well, because then they'd be like, well, I've never heard a dog before.

Yeah. But I've heard humans. And then this weird guy, obviously who we hardly know, passes one twice loudly in a conversation. And then the second time goes, oh, Bob, who did the dog? I walked away shell-shocked. Like, I was like, what is, like, yeah. Do you think, and then they're like, he pinned it on the dog. The poor dog.

Yeah, like twice. The first time, everyone knew. Everyone heard it. We all sort of went, we locked eyes, but no one said anything. And then the second time, I was like. Because they would have been going, did he just. Because they're looking at each other. Yeah. And I was like, uh-oh, that's the second time I was like Because they would have been going Did he just Because they're looking at each other Yeah And I was like

Uh oh That's the dog I was stunned And then the second time I should have But I didn't And then I went Oh Bo

And everyone was like This guy It's just The bad acting Is not working Well for a guy Who has issues With talking about the topic

He's certainly not afraid To get it out there When he needs to And the Well there Bo Rich history of humping things Yeah I think he's got a rich history Of stealing underpants has issues with talking about the topic. He's certainly not afraid to get it out there when he needs to. And there, well there, Bo. Rich history of humping things. He's got a rich history of stealing underpants from the neighbours. Yeah, and now a rich history of passing wind, and audibly passing wind.

He sounds like a catch. Hey, next. Or the proposal. Yes. Yes, we've got video and audio of this proposal that it could not have gone worse If they tried We'll play it for you next

Do you know what I heard before in the news? The New Zealand living wage increasing to $26 As of the September 1st So over the weekend There was a baseball Baseball started in America Well you sent a video through yesterday morning Hilarious like a romantic

gesture so a guy decided to go from the stands at the baseball game to jump the fence onto the field to this was his first mistake yeah so he's on the field and he only ran about sort of 10 meters he wasn't interrupting the game turned around got down on one knee, faced towards his partner, who was obviously in the stands. Really, really romantic gesture. Had a ring out, opened up the box, wanting to propose. Will you marry me? A beautiful moment. It was a beautiful moment.

You're like, oh, this is going to be a lovely, beautiful moment. The person filming it on the phone was filming the person on the field and then back to the lady watching. She's got tears in her eyes. We have audio of it here. So the crowd's getting into it. Loving it. So good, right?

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, security with a massive tackle. Just out of nowhere, like leaping from out of shot, just taking the guy down like one of those warriors. It was a head shot, wasn't it? It was, yeah. Brutal. It all seemed very unnecessary.

Three of them, boom, just piled over the top of him. I was thinking about it driving to work this morning. Unless he looked like a sniper, you know, down on one knee. Oh, yeah, maybe. So they were like,

he's got a gun, you know? And that was why they were over-aggressive. I couldn't figure it out. But you're on the field, so I get it. And got a gun, you know. And that was why they were over-aggressive. I couldn't figure it out. But you're on the field, so I get it. And that's why, you know, whatever happens on the field, it's like a lawless society. Once you're on the field, you're stepping into their turf.

And anything can happen. A lot of the times those guys in the high-vis, they can't keep up with the streakers. But on that occasion, the streaker was running nowhere. And nothing screams more USA than that video, than that tackle. I bet they got up and went, USA. But so many questions I'm having. What happened?

Did she say yes? He can't remember thanks to the concussion. Yeah, he ended up in the A&E, that's for sure. So it was a marriage proposal that was romantic, but it kind of went wrong, didn't it? Okay, we want to open up right now. Open up right now. 0800, the hit, 4487.

Engaging engagements. I tried to do one out of left field. I put the ring on a piece of Marmite toast, brought it into Jennifer. Just out of the blue, right? Out of the blue, yeah. So did you pre-plan this? Yeah, I was like, you want a surprise, right? Yeah I was like You want a surprise right? And I mean nothing's more surprising Than a ring on a piece of Marmite toast

Nothing screams romance Than a Marmite smeared ring finger You're like Where's this? Oh Yeah No that's Marmite That's

Yeah well you You didn't put a lot of thought into it did you but you know thankfully she didn't choke on it were you hungover what was going on no it was just the planning was get her by surprise and boy it got her by surprise she was going

oh you got the ring in the throat thankfully she said yes though and I didn't get tackled so that was a win alright yeah engage in our engagement stories love to hear your stories of engagement and remember every caller that

gets on the air gets in the draw to go see Pink live in Hyde Park we're drawing that this afternoon with Brad and Laura so Brad and draw

they'll be drawing that so yeah give us a call right now and you can go on the draw to see Pink it is the hits the hits the Jono and Ben podcast

short week this weekend over the weekend as we talked about before, happened in the American baseball fan jumped the fence, turned around to propose to his girlfriend. He's one knee down on the field. And got absolutely monstered by a huge tackle. He was hoping to get to third base that night. No bases.

No, none at all. Just lying paralyzed in a hospital bed. But apparently she did say yes, I saw. No, none at all. Just lying paralysed in a hospital bed. But apparently she did say yes, I saw. Oh, good. Good. Thankfully,

thankfully she told him that at the hospital when he regained consciousness. One heck of a story, wasn't it? And a brutal tackle. One of those ones you're like, is he alive?

Yeah. Good hit. We'll put it up on our socials. Yeah, let's check it on Hits Breakfast on Instagram. We'll check it on our story right now. But engaging engagements, what have you got for us this morning?

We're going to kick things off with Terry and Hamilton. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast, Tezza. Hi, morning, lads. How are you? We're doing well. It's the first time anyone's called us lads, and it felt bloody good. My lads. Making Mondays better.

Oh, lovely to have you on the show. What was your engaging engagement? My husband proposed to me with a dolphin, like a real life dolphin. Oh, love it. How did that work? So we were in Australia at SeaWorld, and he had organized it all behind the scenes with one of our good friends for a dolphin to bring me a float that said, will you marry me? Oh, I love those bloody dolphins at SeaWorld. They're like, why would I want to be out swimming in the ocean when I can?

Let's not get into that. When I can propose to Terry. I know this is the life for me here. Trapped in here. Very lucky man, I tell you that. That is an incredible story. And so the dolphin nudging this thing towards you, and you're probably going, what is this?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. The dolphin actually dropped it to the person next to me by accident as well. Stupid dolphin. The dolphins are the smartest animal, aren't they? They're like, what are you, an idiot? That's how your husband ended up marrying someone else. Yeah, yeah, totally.

And I ended up marrying a dolphin. Hey, Terry, that's an amazing story. We're going to put you on the draw to go see Pink in Hyde Park. Good luck for that. Amazing. Thanks, guys. Have a great day. Love your work, Terry.

Very funny. Chanel will get you on Engaging Engagements. What happened? Oh, hi there. Lovely to have you on engaging engagements. What happened? Oh, hi there. Lovely to have you on, Chanel. What happened, mate? Well, actually, my husband had planned to propose to me at the Sky Tower for our anniversary and had it all set up with flowers and strawberries and everything and chickened out.

I had no idea. Found out later on that he planned it there and it didn't happen. But a month later, we went to a friend's wedding and I was having a bit of a headache, actually. We went for a walk while everyone was dancing was having a bit of a headache actually. We went for a walk while everyone was dancing and he got on my knee on this beautiful bridge that was lit up with candles around this pond and proposed to me there. Oh, he proposed at your friend's wedding.

Did anyone know? They did. No, so we went back to the wedding afterwards and we didn't tell a soul. We completely kept it quiet because it was her day. Oh, that's a lovely way to do it from you because we were talking about that last week actually, what happens in that situation.

Yeah, and I mean, the fun part about it is too, like, every year she texts me and says, happy engagement anniversary and I go, happy wedding anniversary and it's pretty cool. Yeah, she's like, I don't know your actual wedding anniversary but I remember where you got engaged. Well, thankfully you had a headache and there was a bridge with candles there. That's a great story. Chanel, you go and have a great day, all right? Thank you.

You too. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. It was April Fool's over the weekend on Saturday. I saw a few things pop up on Instagram and stuff. The problem is, though, thanks to social media, is once you click onto one, you keep swiping through the rest of them and it doesn't have the same impact. Yeah, and everyone's quick to call it out in the comments as well.

It's very hard to fall for it. In Australia, actually, they came up, McDonald's came up with the McFry Burger, which is an April Fool's thing, which is a burger with fries in it. But many people obviously do that anyway. And so everyone was like disappointed. They were like, oh, this should be a thing.

So that's the thing. You can upset people as well. Well, you know, apart from the labour, you can do it yourself. Yes, yes. It's an option. An option available. Now, Poppy know, apart from the labour, you can do it yourself. Yes, yes. It's an option. An option available.

Now, Poppy, my daughter, she loves, obsessed with dancing. So much dancing. You go a lot of dancing. Oh, a lot of dancing. Nine days ago, she's like, I'm signing up for another class. I'm like, another class of dancing. Wow. Crazy.

But she's been watching on YouTube, I don't know if you've heard of the show, Dance Moms. Years ago, didn't one of the ladies, we spoke to one of the ladies, and she went to jail, didn't she? Oh, we did speak to her. Yeah, we did. She ended up in a bloody wheelchair. Yeah, we spoke to her.

She went to jail, and then, yeah. Abby Lee. That's right, yeah. Abby Lee, and she's got that little girl in her dance company, it's an older show now, who was the dancer in the Sia music video, you know, the chandelier one. Yeah, great dancer. Anyway, so there's what they've done, the Cuts Popia is watching, it's not full episodes.

So it's edit-togethers of just the moms bickering, constant bickering. They bicker with Emily, they bicker with each other, they're bickering with their daughters. Did you just sit here and say that my daughter looks miserable so maybe we should put Kalani in her place? No, I never said that.

Yes, you most certainly did. No, I didn't, dingbat, listen. I said Brooke is your mother's figure for you. Get your finger out of my face. Girls out the room, girls out the room. Yeah, you winny piece of shit. Out the room, out the room. Get away from me.

Out the room, girls out of the room. Who do you think you! Girls, out of the room! Who do you think you are? Girls, out of the room! Yeah, so this is the soundtrack to my house at the moment. Just bickering, bickering away. And it feels like every scene is just on the verge of a giant meltdown. Are you like that? What's the dance dads like when they go along to the dance recitals?

Well, I'd like to. Actually, we should pitch a show, Dance Dads, and it's just me sitting in my car. Completely waiting. Oh, it's time to go in. Well, they're running 50. Here's Jono Pryor,

41-year-old father of one. Oh, they're 15 minutes late again, mate. Yeah, nightmare. I'm starting, it's Monday night, I need to get home and have some fish fingers for dinner and things like that. And then them talking

to the other dads, eye rolling, late again. That'd be the high drama. But you've got to God bless America, don't you? Yeah. You just couldn't get that drama in New Zealand. No. You know, someone would be like, you better be. And they're like, oh, you know, it's a fair point.

I won't make a fuss. Yeah, you're right. But they're not going to back down, are they? Yeah. The producers would try their best. She's just dissing your daughter. And they're like, oh, yeah, well they? The producers would try their best to go, and she's just dissing your daughter, and they're like, oh, yeah, well, she probably didn't dance as well as she should have.

We're just so agreeable here. It's not like we're going to be married at first sight. I mean, we were probably the only successful couple to marry at first sight in history. That's right. Well, one and done in the season, because everyone was either turning, yeah, no, it's not really working out.

Yeah, I understand. All right, all the best. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A short week, of course, with Easter coming up this weekend. And Megan Puppers joins us in the studio right now. How are you, Megan? I'm good. How are you guys? Good. I thought you had COVID. You were just saying.

I did one of those tests. It feels like a while since I've done one of those. Brings back the good old memories. But no, I didn't. I just had like an old school virus. Those things are still out there. Yeah. But you automatically think you've got COVID.

Yeah, I know. As soon as you get a sore throat and a body ache, you're like, oh, this is it. But you don't have it and you're back at work. And I suppose you had some time to watch some good series? I did. I have tapped into two creepy ones. I kind of like to balance it out, but there's no balance this week. Both are Amazon Prime and both are creepy as hell.

Yeah. The first one is called Swarm swarm milk spilled on the carpet i can hear in the kitchen she's cooking very good what did grandma say when you spilled the milk uh so this is about an obsessed fan who um turns into a violent killer and it's called swarm because it's kind of supposed to be based on like the beehive so people who are obsessed with Beyonce, not that they're killers, but any similarities. You didn't ever want to offend the beehive. That's one thing I've learned.

I'll come for you. It is very similar to things that happen in real life. It's produced by Donald Glover, Childish Gambino. Oh, and he did Atlanta, didn't he? Yes. And it also features Billie Eilish as a cult leader. And she's so creepy. Oh, the actual Billie Eilish?

She does so well, yeah. Wow. She stars in this as well. Like Taylor Swift fans, they'd be in the same category, wouldn't they? Even me, when I was like a massive Hanson fan back in the day, I'm like, oh, similarities to anyone who's ever been obsessed with anyone famous? You're like, yep. I mean, Kevin Hart, Ben Bush, you literally stalked the poor man outside his...

Oh God, is that going to be in the next series of the show? Some crazy fan on a sizzle lift. How far did you go for Hanson? I never actually even saw them live, but I had every inch of my wall covered. I was going to tell you, something to do with Hanson is still my F-plus. Oh, I was just saying. Something to do with Hanson. But I don't want to give you details.

No, that's right. Because obviously that's my pin. Yeah. Gotcha. You know, I didn't stalk a band or a musician, but I stalked a radio announcer. Did you? Yeah, Robert Ruckertee.

I would phone him every morning when I was a child. The Brown Wiggle. Yeah. Yeah. He's on the breeze now when I was a child. The Brown Wiggle. Yeah. He's on the breeze now. God, I hope he's got a restraining order. You're in the same industry now, you creep. We haven't spoken in a long time. It's actually my whole drive to get into radio is just be stalking him.

It's a very long play. It's all going to come to a big end in about five years though. All right, what's the next show? All right, the next show is called The Consultant. So, who's this dude? He's a consultant. It stars Christoph Waltz who is the consultant.

When I tell you the synopsis of this show, it sounds really boring. It's literally about a consultant. He walks into a... Well, you know what you guys could be doing better around here.

It doesn't sound sexy at all. It's like the accountant. So he turns up to a gaming app company trying to turn it around. The designer, the head of the company, just died, I won't tell you how, but right at the start of the show. It actually made me swear

because you don't see it coming and I was like, okay, what is the show? And so he comes to an untimely death and then this consultant turns up but he's a creep and it's giving me goosebumps now the first episode i had to watch some ted lasso afterwards because i was like this has creeped me out so it even though the name is not sexy it is supposed to be a dark comedy i haven't heard the comedy yet it's just dark you watch a lot of stuff you do i know but a lot of it's a bit creepy at the moment i need i'm saving my ted lassos for in between cream between how many hours a day do you reckon you'd consume of streaming services oh probably like two hours that's a good effort yeah yeah yeah i don't have much of a life.

Would you have it on while you're doing other stuff or you're like, no, I'm sitting down? Yeah, I'm still breastfeeding at the moment so anyone, you know, anyone who's been there

knows you have to sit down. It's kind of like a forced sit down time. Maybe that's the babies giving back. I mean, you're giving to the babies but maybe that's them going,

hey, have a seat. Yeah. Let's take five. Oh, that's interesting. The consultant, did you learn any good tips and tricks on how to advance the business any further? Yeah. No, none five. Oh, that's interesting. The consultant, did you learn any good tips and tricks on how to advance the business any further?

Yeah. No, none of that so far? No, none of it adaptable, no. You just think that every show has been made, and then you hear something like that, and you're like, oh, no, they've still got more ideas out there. Yeah, there's a show for everything. Yeah.

Okay, if you were going to come up with your dream show. Oh, dream show? Oh, mate, I've pitched me of those. No one wants it. He's pitched like 30 in the last year. Actually, that's never going to happen. I've been in those meetings. You've touched his sore spot.

He's got old phones on documents, mate. You want some stuff? What do you want? None of us are going to make it to streaming services or tell us. He's got 30 pitch documents ready to go you want to read them Megan all sorts of shit

why are you asking me this sorry I didn't think it was going to be so real and raw anyway he'll get back on telly one day won't he we'll see

we'll see Megan always fun hanging out thanks for telling us what to watch