Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: The Stolen Adult Toys...

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Toy Stories! Do you still know your ex?? The weird old guy in a store.. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Last night on the internet, you put something out there on the Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Facebook page that, well, it was controversial for some people, although some people did agree with you. Well, this shows how brilliant Facebook is. I just took a photo of a bottle of mayonnaise. Kewpie, the Japanese mayonnaise with the red lid. And just said, this is the best condiment on the market. Jeez, it really lights up the old comment section, doesn't it? Facebook, what a beautiful platform. People got opinions on their favorite condiments. What's the feedback on their favorite condiments?

I know there's a Sriracha version of Kewpie as well, which is very popular, but were people agreeing? Some people were agreeing, yeah. Some people were saying, without a doubt, it's the best, that's from Diane. Other people going along to their favourite compliments. Compliments, no, compliments on condiments. That's not a bad-looking bottle of mayo,

if you don't mind me saying. Yeah, Best Foods mayo comes up a wee bit as well. That's not a bad looking bottle of mayo If you don't mind me saying Yeah Best Foods mayo Comes up a wee bit as well That's a good mayo Yeah A lot of people you know Win the tomato sauce ketchup As far as just

You know The condiment you go to Do you know What I got onto The other night Burger sauce Have you tried burger sauce No

It's just called burger sauce It's just like It's the Big Mac sauce. Oh, right. And you can buy it? You buy it on the market. Really? I tried these things.

I saw them online. So you get tiny little tortillas. Then you get a mince and you squash it down with the press on a frying pan. Then you put little bits of lettuce, cheddar cheese on it as well. Put this burger sauce on. It tastes like a Big Mac. Wow. It's a tortilla man wow it's a tortilla but it's incredible i'll make it for you one night will you say that you won't i'll probably

i'll bring it in here one morning so you're saying again you won't yeah what's your favorite are you a sauce you're not really a sauce guy i mean i'm not like a white but i'm not huge on condiments to be honest you know like i'm kind of like yeah you know it's like salt and pepper i'm not huge on condiments, to be honest. I'm kind of like, yeah, you know, it's like salt and pepper. I'm kind of huge on that as well. But a little bit, you know, from time to time. We've got a whole shelf dedicated to condiments in our fridge. Just boom, sauces for Africa, if they need sauces. Sometimes I feel like it changes the food so much.

You know, you feel something, then you chuck it, and you're like, whoa, we've gone in another direction here. You know? It's like people that go, oh, we're being so, then you chuck on it and you're like, whoa, we got it in another direction here. You know, it's like people that go, we're going to have a steak and then we're going to put heaps of ketchup or tomato sauce on it.

You're like, whoa, you've really taken that off and gone to another direction. Didn't we have it last year? We had a condiment tournament. We did, yeah. On air.

Very popular. And it was like, you know, it was like the FIFA World Cup but just the condiments and we lined them all up. Well, maybe we should be doing it again

based on, based on the booming success of this Facebook. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast Facebook. Last night I went along to the football going on between USA and Portugal. Eden Park, the biggest crowd ever for a football game in New Zealand. I'm very proud of the turnout. I know we had the day before the tournament started a very desperate-eyed, pleading FIFA boss going, come on, New Zealand, turn out.

It's great, though, eh? I was like, Jesus, how dire are these ticket sales? This poor guy's being wheeled out. But they're fantastic. Sold out last night. Ian Park went along there with the family. It was awesome. It felt almost like we were overseas because there were so many Portugal fans,

so many American fans all dressed up. They're singing along. It was great. Watchers of football are so much more energetic and passionate than watchers of rugby. Yeah. We sit there with our arms folded waiting for the All Blacks to win. Oh, and I was chatting to a guy waiting in line for a beer, he's come from America, he's

meant to come with his wife, but she's got a new job, and she's like, I'm just here by myself, having a great time in Auckland. He's like, I'm even staying long, I'm going to Hamilton tomorrow for the game, what's Hamilton like? And I was like, as a Kiwi, I had that moment where I was like, and I was like, hey, no, Hamilton's great, mate. You know, I could make jokes right now, but no, Hamilton's great. You have a great time.

So there you go. It's the Las Vegas of New Zealand. I didn't go that far. Yeah. But yeah, we've been playing an anthem game, you know, with you listening right now on the hits. We often go, here's an anthem. You need to guess it.

So I thought I'd play an anthem game last night with the kids. Not quite as good when you play at the game because it's a little easier for them to pick. Anthem game, what's the anthem? American. Well done. Yeah, so it's not quite as good that one. I feel like there's a lack of enthusiasm from the contestant too.

Well, there was a little bit of a lack of enthusiasm because we were dressed, we got these glasses, the Stars and Stripes American fan glass. I bought those, a family, we're going to back a team that's back America. We'll go along, we'll wear the glasses. It's a good country to back too, the Americans, isn't it? The Portugal's never done anything for us. So we'll wear the glasses and We'll get into the chants.

There's a lot of chants going on at the ground. So the chant goes U-S-A. No way. Yeah, so we'll go U and then S and A, right? U-S-A. It's not U-A-S. No, no, I think it's, no. Okay, the game's about to start.

What do you think of the cool glasses we've got to wear? U-S-A. They're great. I love them. You love them? You're going to wear them all the time're great, I love them. You love them? You're going to wear them all the time? Yeah, of course. Go into my glass collection.

Why aren't you wearing them now? Four, three... Don't ignore me. One, USA! Woohoo! Yeah, so family weren't committing to the glasses as much as I were. Well, they're sort of visually impaired, aren't they?

Because they're kind of Kanye West's stronger era. Yeah, like Venetian blinds, like looking through those. But then there was quite high drama because we went for a walk at halftime. Fire alarms start going off. Like fire alarm at a stadium. And I was like, geez, this is going to be difficult. A fire alarm going off.

Yeah. This is going to be logistically a bit of a nightmare for everyone to leave, wait outside and then come back. I know. Like, who's going to want to do that? All right, we're heading out. The answer, not many people, to be fair. The game carried on.

The whole crowd on the other side just carried on as people were trying to, like, go, yeah, there's a fire, you've got to go out. And we're like, well, not everyone's going out. Like, what's going on? And then you... Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Did you ever stop recording? Were you just rolling coverage the whole time? I was there. I was like one of those eyewitness reporters on the news. I was like, mate, this is great. I started filming. When I was filming the fire department, because the fire department arrived,

turned out to be a false alarm, but they were coming off. I was like, what's this? I'm going to send this into the Herald or something. Courtesy of that, Ben Boyce. And then I took a selfie with the fire truck behind me and my family were like, what are you doing? Why are you taking a photo with this?

You've let this madness get away on you. And I was like, oh yeah, maybe not. Delete that file. Delete that voice recording. You know, I've got it all. And the whole time I did not stop. He's one of those family YouTube bloggers who just doesn't stop.

The rest of the family are like, can you please put the camera away from me? Mate, I've got it all. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A friend of ours shared a story that happened to her over the weekend. She went to dinner with her new partner, long-term partner, in the restaurant. Now, here is probably the most fiddly social situation you could find yourself in. In the restaurant, not one, but two of her exes.

At the same restaurant. With their new partners. Now, of her exes. At the same restaurant. With their new partners. Now, the two exes don't know each other. Her new long-term partner doesn't know that the two exes are there. It feels like it's from a scene out of a movie. Yeah, it feels like that scene from Mission Impossible where Tom Cruise has to navigate his body through the lasers. Yeah.

Or else he's going to set off the alarm. Yeah. What would you or else he's going to set off the alarm. Yeah. What would you do in that environment? Well, yeah, it's very tough, isn't it? Because you don't want to leave. You don't want to go, oh, well, let's wrap things up there. Let's go, you know, especially if you sit down and you're starting to have a meal. Hide under the table?

Yeah, well, I guess that's an option. Doggy, pretend you have gastro, doggy bag it? Yeah. You want to get out quick. You could set off the fire alarms Or just sit there and hope that no one comes over And no one talks to you But it's a very very awkward situation Well potentially awkward depending on the

Circumstances So what she said happened No one in the room acknowledged it Everyone just pretended it happened That's probably what had happened you're right that's what you would want yeah that's what i would want that is the perfect new zealand response to that social situation it is you're right let's just pretend nothing has happened and then afterwards go oh my god yeah because she never even told her

new the person her long-term partner that the exes were in there she was like well he doesn't need to know no that's the way to do it everyone just you know she was probably a little tense than usual everyone would over there's three tables little tents just on edge but hey no one said anything that's the beautiful thing yeah and that is the beautiful thing

about New Zealand what we can do is we can suppress our emotions wonderfully in this country yeah you. You know, you go to America, that would turn into a food fight or something. It'd be filmed and end up on TMZ or something. Not here. We play it cool. Keep our heads down. The Hits, the Jono

and Ben podcast. Friend of ours at dinner with her new partner. Two exes. Two of her exes also dining in the establishment with their new significant others. Now, it's moments like this where you're like, the team of five million isn't enough. It's just one big village, this country. Producer Joel was gossiping the other day.

He's like, oh, I saw XYZ out with other XYZ having a drink. You're like, mate, this is too small. It's too small. It is. Word just gets around this country. But yeah, 0800, the hits, telephone number. The topic we're opening up is, is your ex still in your life? How many exes have you got?

Not many, to be honest. But yeah. And I don't think anything is in a bad way or anything like that. But you're not currently seeing them from a day-to-day basis. I'm not going to restaurants with, you know. I've only got one, I reckon. And so if I did that version of Ariana Grande's song, Thank You To My Ex, it would be a very short song.

But 0800, that's the telephone number. Let's get Karen on. Is your ex still in your life, Kazza? Yeah. So my ex lives in the same house with my partner and myself. What? We all just live together, and I've got two boys, one with him and one with my new partner, and we all just live in one big village. And everyone gets on all great.

Everyone gets on perfectly. They have their own little bromance going, and I'm pretty sure they speak to each other more than I speak to either of them. Wow. That's really mature of everyone. That's awesome. That's awesome. bromance going and I'm probably sure they speak to each other more than I speak to either of them Wow That's really mature of everyone, that's awesome That's incredible and so he's obviously just in another room a spare room

Yeah, he's got his own room with his own ensuite bathroom and then we share the lounge and kitchen and living space and we've got our own space upstairs with the kids Now I don't want to pry into your relationship too much, I don't know the reason why you did break up, but surely there were irks about this man that you were like, we can't stay together.

And now those irks would be around you all the time. Like, oh, no, he hasn't stacked the dishwasher properly or he's left the toilet. Maybe it's different because you're not in a relationship. Oh, it's completely different when you're not in a relationship. But I mean, also, we got divorced, jeez, 13 years ago. So, it's been a really long time.

Have you never not lived with your ex? Oh, yeah. Oh, right. So, you were separated, you spent your life separate, but then he came together and started living with you and your new partner? Well, we actually were flatting when I met my new partner.

Right. So it just became an economical, let's try and save money, and if our boy can have us both under the same roof, then why not? Good on you. Great decision. How was the new partner when you pitched the old idea? I imagine he was like, oh, okay, this is an interesting scenario that you're putting forth.

Well, they were mates already anyway, so it didn't make much of a difference. We moved over from South Africa. It just made sense for him to move in with us. Jeez, I bet you're all sitting there eating biltong and having the time of your life. Well, yep, that's what we do. That's what we do.

Awesome. I appreciate your call. We're going to send you out some hell pizza. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Paddy Gower's documentary on vaping was on last night that you checked out, Joe? Yeah, it's always good. It's a good conversation starter, isn't it, Paddy Gower? Yeah.

Gets the nation talking. Which is what we're doing this morning. Yeah, he's played right into a sweet spot, haven't we? Yeah, I wanted to talk about the US where they were lucky to scrape through the football last night in front of 42,000, but you're like, mate, you know, talking about the vaping doco. That's what I was doing last night. That sounds fun, though. We'll get to that later.

We'll get to that later. Listen, if we're going to compare Tuesday nights, you definitely had a better one. Renee, good morning. Good morning to you. And it's been a big night. How's the day been, all right? Busy carving. Busy carving, busy carving What do you carve? Cows

I thought you were going to say wood or something like that I'm a wood carver of cows No, we carve cows Now Renee, you're a former smoker And a vaper What are your thoughts on the sport? The thoughts on the sport are Honestly, vaping is so not good

You know, I smoked for a good 30 years And then I thought, no, I've had enough of this. I want to live a little bit longer for my kids. And I thought, I'll use vaping to give up. It's so, like, it makes you feel so not well. Yeah. You know, I would have heavy chest and it would be sore. And then a great way to give up smoking. Great way.

But, like, you know, my kids go to intermediate and the kids at intermediate are vaping in bathrooms at intermediate, you know, 10-year-olds. I know, it's wild. It seems so young. I mean, I guess people were starting smoking at high school, I remember back. But it seems a lot more accessible now

than cigarettes were. And the shops are just so sparkly and the glass in there is brilliant. The lighting's amazing. How appealing is that? What a cool thing to do. You know, start putting that gnarly chemical inside your body, little one. Yeah.

Is there an age limit on it? Oh, it doesn't stop hating. You're all selling it to young ones. Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, with smoking as well, you know, right? If you want to get your hands on it, you can get your hands on it. Yeah, I remember being, you know, really young, and I remember they bought an age limit in for smoking.

You'd go to the dairies and they'd wrap them up in newspaper so you could take your smokes home for your mum. And I would have been maybe 12 years old picking smokes up for mum, but they'd just wrap it up. So these dairies and that, they don't care who they sell to, honestly. The cops can't police it.

18 is the legal age, smoking and vaping. But yeah, as you say, it doesn't stop. People want to do it. Sadly, it doesn't seem to stop. It doesn't stop. And I swear it's worse than what it was when we were teenagers with smoking. It's like my 12-year-olds come home and they freak out.

Like kids are vaping on the bus, on the school bus. What do you say, like as a former smoker of 30 years and a vaper, what do you tell your kids? Do you want to be brutally honest? I told them they'd best not start because something not so nice might happen to them from their mum. That's a, you know, do as I say, not as I do sort of situation. When we were young, it wasn't a bad thing. Smoking and that wasn't a bad thing.

In the 90s, it wasn't a bad thing to be a smoker. It wasn't frowned upon. Everyone did it. Everyone walked the streets smoking. You could smoke in cafes. You could smoke anywhere. You could. Airplanes.

Airplanes, restaurants. It was wild. I remember you mentioned the dairy. My old man would send me to the dairy too. And it was a wonderful, trusted relationship between the dairy owner, you, and your parents. Yeah. Yeah. And they'd just wrap it in newspaper or something.

So people didn't know that you had a square box. A better time. A better time. You know, none of this namby-pamby PC, let's get rid of vaping nonsense back then. You'd send the kids down to pick up the smoke. Yeah, they'd have one or two cigarettes on the way back. Hey, I've got a nephew who's 20,

and he vapes, and he's got a cough like an old person. Oh, that's sad. He's been smoking for 40 years. And they don't stop. It's always in their hand. Yeah. The frightening thing is you don't know what it's doing. We knew, eventually you knew with cigarettes

the harm and damage it was causing. But the unknown is the big frightening thing. So, hey, listen, thank you very much for your call, Renee. Really appreciate it. And congratulations on kicking both habits. Woo-hoo! The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I was in a shop yesterday, and there was an older gentleman in there.

And what I love, I can't wait where I reach the stage in life where you don't care an ounce about how you're perceived by anyone else. There's two sections of society who sit in this sweet spot. I'd say probably kids. They don't care. They'll speak truth bombs all day long. And elderly people. They don't have a gauge. I've been around long enough to

say what I think in the moment and I don't care about the repercussions. I don't care how it makes you feel. And so I was waiting behind him in the shop and he had half a dozen items. But he was complaining about the price of every item. So the person behind the counter would be like, that's $14.

And he'd go, $14? In that voice. And she's like, yeah, it's $14. That used to be $13. And then the next item would get scanned six dollars yeah i know i'm thinking cost of living mate unfortunately it's going up isn't it and everyone and the same tone in the voice as well till it got to the point where the shopkeeper's like listen i don't set the prices. I just scan the items. I appreciate, you know, they're a bit more expensive than they were.

And he was like, got through the end of it, scanned all the items. And he's like, you know what? Don't put any of them. Too much. After querying the price of every single one. And, you know, he might be on the pension and watching every dollar. He definitely would be. Well the pension and watching every dollar oh he definitely would be your eye but the sound well he was watching every time yeah oh i like your granddad i like

your granddad you that story you tell when he's pulled over for speeding or something by the police officer and he's like i fought in the war for people like you so i could speed well yeah we're not that was his go-to like you know it was like hey i was speeding and then he did i mean you know he went to the war. I mean, that's a huge, huge sacrifice. Doesn't get you off speeding. But yeah, that's what I was kind of saying afterwards. I was like, you know, it probably doesn't get you off speeding.

I mean, it gets you a lot of respect and the fact that you've done some wonderful things for this country, but... There's still a law. It's not a lawless society you've come back to. I could, I'd support in the war if people like you so I could drink and drive. Yeah, so you'd just keep going. After eight o'clock, we're on a mission to make every single cake from the iconic

birthday cake book. And we just realised the logistics. I don't know why we've just realised the logistics, but it's getting pretty tough to pull this together.