Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: The Xmas In The Park Nude Scandal...

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Is this the end for Jono Horrible secret santa presents We want your back-handed compliments See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Today. Because it's Christmas Day, and the oven's cooking my slow hams. Yes, thanks to Farmland Food, we've got a whole lot of hams. Celebrating 60 years of bringing families together through a passion of food. We've got 60 hams to give away every Friday between the last couple of weeks. Heading into Christmas it love a ham we'll talk more about um we've talked previously sorry

about how i managed to get one from one of the only times i've been in a corporate box the warriors oh that's right you stole one and they asked oh yeah you did ask me put in your backpack your ham bag and uh talk about a ham bag your eyes home, unzipped the bag and presented it to the family, the hunter and gatherer. Mel, mate, you've had too many beers. You too. Go sleep on the couch. That manky ham.

Here you go, family. I've gone to a corporate box that I brought home this. But we did eat that ham. We did eat that ham. You did? Because that's the thing with hams and I actually want to know,

I went under the hits, four, four, eight, seven, if I give you a ham, what are you going to do with it? Where where are you gonna use it and how long are you gonna use it for because people do push my mum jenny she loves to push push a ham i think it was mid-jan i was up there one year and she did still eating christmas ham yeah so what are you gonna do with the ham uh essentially if you have any other answer apart from eat it then you're probably wrong like yeah you're right but i want to know at what occasion like who's coming what are you using are you are you making it for part of christmas roast maybe you're making

ham steaks the next day what if i phoned up and said hey i want to start a family with the ham would you would you give me a hand yeah oh yeah marry this ham yeah you can marry the ham that actually that would be quite entertaining andrea welcome to marry the ham. Andrea, welcome. Welcome to Friday Hams. Honestly, the most popular thing we've done on this program, Friday Hams. Do you plan to marry the ham, start a family? Yeah, no, I've already got five kids,

so no, not at all. Okay, no, okay. What's the second option then? What are you going to do with the ham? We're going to eat it on Christmas Day and just going to have it cold with bread, salad. Beautiful. Until it's all gone.

Is it warrant a ham? Well, yeah, I think it does warrant a ham. Christmas Day. It feels like we're part of Christmas Day, wouldn't it? John and Ben. Well, listen, you promised me every single bite of that ham, you let out a almost orgasmic, mmm, John and Ben.

Please don't do that. Okay, Andrea? Of course I would. I'll give it a good go. Yeah, I want the whole family, every bite. I know you bring the family. John and Ben. Okay, here we go.

We're giving you a ham. Have a great Christmas. Thank you. Appreciate you listening. Good on you. Do we do one more? Yeah, let's do another one. Why not?

Brent, we'll get you on from Auckland. Morning, Brent. How are you, mate? Yeah, let's do another one. Why not? Brent, we'll get you on from Auckland. Morning, Brent. How are you, mate? Yeah, good, man. How are you guys? Friday, baby. I reckon. Perfect.

Now, what are you going to do with a ham? Start a family? Run away? Get married? A lope in Las Vegas? I'll probably eat it, mate. Yeah, good option.

That's a good ham plan, too. Ham plans. Yeah. Have you pushed a ham out beyond, you's say, the four-week period? No, they never last that long in my place. Every morning, it's like ham and eggs on the barbecue, and then sandwiches at lunchtime, ham and tomato, mustard, can't beat it. Jeez, we've given ham a lot of airtime, haven't we?

With great meat. It's a great part of the summer. Have you got, well, my in-laws, John and Kathy, bless them, they've got this sort of cloth bag that you put. The ham bag. The ham bag. I was thinking we should make next year if we do this again, John and Ben, ham bags that go with the Farmer Foods ham bags.

Oh, like a little handle and a little strap? We've got one of those. You douse it in like vinegar or something. Vinegar, yeah. I think that keeps the ham going. It really ends up in a different space, you know, the end of Jan, that bag, doesn't it? Hey, good on you, Brent. You have a wonderful weekend.

Merry Christmas. Oh, mate, thanks a lot, eh? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Yeah, the workplaces around the country are sort of wrapping up. You're having their Christmas functions. A lot of schools wrapping up over the next week or so? Yeah, we did a thing on the radio yesterday. It was a bit more serious, just about a haka I saw

at my son's school prize giving. And we just kind of got into a conversation around the Māori protests earlier this week and how changing government department names back might be taking a step back yeah might be a waste of money and if you want to actually see that that chat you can head to the hits breakfast on uh social media as well what it led it what it did uh enlighten us to in the comment section producer joel came in he said hey there's some great comments uh

underneath that video that you did. And Producer Joel, I think one of the couple of the big bangers. Yeah, we'll keep them anonymous. Don't want to expose their names. Because I guess it was a bit more, you know, a bit more serious than what we normally do. But as you say, we wanted to sort of say something and kind of find this whole thing a bit. It's sad that this is happening here in New Zealand. And unnecessary. Yeah.

It probably feels like Winston's given the National Enact a headache that's unnecessary. A step back. And we wanted to, you know, to get things moving forward. So we put this video out there after talking about it on the radio. And here were some of the comments. What are the highlights, mate? Nice video. This is the first time I've ever actually agreed with Jono and Ben.

Dot, dot, dot. Which leads me to go, what hard line stance have we taken in the past? No, generally not. Generally we're pretty, like, we sort of steer clear of politics, you know? Like, yeah. Like, we've just chucked some average videos online. Well, we have. We've done that, yeah.

I definitely don't agree with that video where he was pulling down his pants, putting a digger through his house. Okay, that's a good backhanded compliment. Someone else took the time to share it on their Instagram story, saying, you know you're on the wrong side of history when these two are speaking out. Dot, dot, dot. Nice vid.

So this is what we wanted to do for some farmland hams this morning. It's Friday hams. You phone us up and give us a backhanded compliment. Yeah, not necessarily about the video that we've done, just in general. I do love a backhanded compliment. Yeah, not necessarily about the video that we've done, just in general. I do love a backhanded compliment. Nothing goes more New Zealand than a backhanded compliment. High highs and low lows in one sentence. I do remember many times when we had the TV show going

that people would come up to us and go, oh, my kids love your show. And it was like, great. That's awesome. And then for some reason they'd feel like, whoa, hang on. I can't leave this just on a compliment. And then they go, but I hate it. Or my wife does it.

And they'd tell someone else that didn't like it just to kind of balance out the compliment. So it was like a backhanded compliment. Someone came up to me the other day and was like, hey, I love your fashion. It's like dumpster chic. No, I don't know what that means it feels like you've just probably got stuff out of a

dumpster I'm guessing yeah but they've said it they've framed it a nice way I loved your fashion could have stopped there

could have stopped there but no it looks like you've pulled clothes out of a charity bin or something yeah so this is

what we want the backhanded compliments Joel he's holding up his phone with a smile on his face. He wants to read one more. He's got a note.

Is this one as well? Go back to the rock, you Muppets? That's not really a back. I guess this is like they want us back at the rock. Oh, yeah. I don't know if the rock wants us back, that's for sure.

Okay, I'll do that. It's 4487. Making it work for your Farmland Foods hams this morning. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Backhanded compliments. We're giving away Farmland Food hams this morning. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Backhanded compliments. We're giving away Farmland Food hams.

You phone us up with a backhanded compliment. We've done a hashtag collab with the pigs this year, giving away some of their friends for Friday hams. Ashley, you're on from Auckland. Hi, yes, I've got one for you. Backhanded compliment for Jono and Ben. This makes me nervous, but all right, go. Yeah, I listen to you guys every morning

because it's the only radio station I can pick up. So this is, again, you can always stop it at a point and go, great, and then you carry on to the, oh, just to level things out. Well, listen, thank you, I think. You're welcome. And to reward you. I enjoy listening to you guys. Oh, I appreciate it. It's the only one I can get. Again, you could I think. You're welcome. And to reward you. I do enjoy listening to you guys. Oh, I appreciate it.

It's the only one I can get. Again, you could have stopped, but you continue to go on. Hey, we're going to give you a ham. You have a great Christmas. Cool. Thank you very much. Good on you, Ashley. Just go to Maggie in the Waikato.

Morena, Maggie. Morena. All right. Take it away, you back-handed compliment. Hey, your Instagram and Facebook page say you're the funniest people on the radio. Somebody lied. You need to rewrite. Who wrote that?

Yeah, definitely wasn't us, that's for sure. But we're going to give you a Farmland Foods ham for you to enjoy with your family this Christmas. Sweet. Thanks, guys. You are funny, though. Oh, thank you, Tony. We'll hang up on her now Before she goes Before she gets to the backhanded bit

Let's get Tony on from Waiuku Good morning Oh, hey Backhanded compliments Um, hold on So, you're not the greatest But you can be kind of funny Yeah, that's right Yeah, we're not the greatest But we can be kind of funny. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, we're not the greatest, but we can be kind of funny. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. I'll be middling. Middling. I'll take middling.

Yeah. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to us. You're not so bad yourself, Tony. Tony will give you a hand. Well done. Let's get Lizzie on from Picton. Back hammed in compliments this morning, Liz. Oh, sure.

I mean, you just tickle me pink. Thank you. Oh, that's wonderful. You tickle me pink, and you put a smile on my doll. Thank you. I'm waiting for the rug to be pulled out under, but it might not be.

This might be a genuine one. Well, you know, you tickle me, you tickle me. Thank you. Thank you Thank you I don't know What's Okay Ben is

He's quite the tickler Around the office aren't you Yeah What are we saying there Are we giving Lizzie a hand Oh we have to She's taking her on air We have to

Lizzie's confused me The hits The Jono and Ben podcast I remember back when I was You know A young A young lad in Masterton Growing up through my

strapping young lad, my teenage years or kid years, I used to, you know, look, I'd make a few fashion choices. Now I look back on and I go, I was just probably doing that for attention, just to be a bit different. Not try and be like the norm. Wearing a Looney Tunes outfit, we've talked about this, got a duvet made into an outfit

for my school ball. That was one of the things I did. Also, non-uniform days, I'd wear pyjamas or I'd just be like, take my uniform and sort of, you know, accessorise it a bit, you know, mix it up. Like cut a hat that was meant to be a wide-brimmed hat into more of a bucket hat and things. School didn't like it, but hey,

I was expressing myself, you know? That's what fashion is. Are you allowed to express yourself in Masterton? No. Do they allow you to do that? No, they didn't. What did Masterton think when you had your Dennis Rodman era? Yeah, Masterton.

I'm a Masterton. Masterton's not proud of me, mate. No one's proud of me. Big gold earrings like Dennis Rodman. I did have that. And I've mellowed a bit more. Having an attention-seeking job has probably meant that I've mellowed outside of it. Yeah.

You just play a safer game. A bit more of a safer game. Every now and again, I'll enjoy a costume, but I'm not surprised that this has kind of rubbed off on my kids. But one of my daughters, Indy, who, you know, she's not wild or crazy with her facet choices, but she's doing something at the moment that's just winding me up. Now, I bought her a cap a few weeks ago,

just a standard baseball cap, kind of like what you're wearing. And people do like leaving stickers on the caps. You've seen that you know yeah that's that irks me too i'm like just peel the sticker yeah i'm like okay i can get it but she's left the price tag sticker on there as well with the barcode with the price tag underneath the cap and i keep going oh the price tag's on there and she's like yeah I know and I'm like oh right and then she'll read out and about and I'll be like

you know the price tag's still on there and she's like yeah and I'm just like how long is she going to be I'm like I'm going to peel

that price tag off I mean it's great for when you resell on trade me yeah what was the original price $29.99 RRP

but it's like I feel like now she's just doing it because it's winding me up I'm like and she's wearing it aRP but it's like I feel like now she's just doing it because it's why they be up I'm like and she's wearing it a lot it's just like

just take the price tag off the hat and also good like you know if someone likes the cap one of your friends how much you pay for that oh let me just

yeah go to her so she's got it so there you go so I've got a bit of taste of my own medicine and I'm not enjoying it I'm definitely not enjoying it The Hits

The Jono and Ben Podcast I'm just talking about the Secret Santa conversation you know it happens Ben podcast. Just talking about the Secret Santa conversation, you know, it happens at a lot of workplaces, the Secret Santa, and I get it. It's nice to bring the team together with a bit of morale, but sometimes you know people well and other times you don't know them as well and you're like, where do I go with this present? You know, do I go with a funny one and this could 50-50?

This could maybe not go down well. Just go with a practical present that everyone's going to go, oh, okay, a candle. You had that situation last year, didn't you? You didn't know whether you were going to get a prank present or a...

I think I played it pretty safe. I can't remember what it was last year. What was it? I can't remember. Like the prank present, I was like, ooh, spicy. Spicy. I was like, funny, but spicy.

Yeah. And then... Yeah, I think I played it pretty safe in the end you've got to play it safe at the end it can also be a it can also be a fantastic platform the Secret Santa system to unload on offload any pent up aggression

you built up towards a particular colleague over 12 months it can go dark and what I don't appreciate too about the secret Santa is a lot of the times people don't stick to the secret part. Oh, yeah. You're like, Ben got you that inappropriate, you know. You had one once we were working in another radio station, remember that, with a guy who worked there. And everyone would talk about his rig.

Oh, yeah. He had a wonderful torso. Very well-defined pectorals, abdominals, back muscles. Yeah, they called it the rig. But I wasn't aware that this was all going on behind his back. Behind his well-worn. The sexism in the office was happening behind his back. Behind his muscular back.

Well-defined traps or whatever they call it and so i was like oh this will be funny you know it's a rig and you took a bit of a leap though here did you and they have oil rigs don't they in the ocean and i was like oh get some baby oil and you put a little note on it for the rig and i even got a label printed and i stuck that over the top of the Johnson & Johnson's baby oil label. And it said, the oil rig. For Deet to rub on the rig and, you know, grease up his... So I was hoping he was going to take his shirt off to that Christmas party. He got it.

And he was very confused. He was like, for the rig? And then I had to... And you were kind of yelling back. Yeah, like coughing, going... Who's following your body? Rub it into your body. Make yelling back. Yeah, like coughing, going, who's following your body? Rub it into your body. Make yourself crazy.

And he's like, what? Why? So that was embarrassing. Like, I would have been better off just getting an offensive present because at least you go, oh, I see what's happened here. When you have to yell at her, I had to do that another time when I bought someone, I think it was a gag around golf balls, and I got some printed with a message on it,

but they just went, oh, golf balls. And I was like, read the message, read the message. Read the message on the balls. You know, trying to yell that out. They're novelty ones. Yeah, but it doesn't quite work. So it can go badly. So that's what we want to know this morning.

Secret Santa gone wrong. You know, when you've kind of missed the mark on a present. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Did you misfire with the secret Santa Louise? Totally What happened? The cucumber and the Vaseline Oh you gave that to someone

Cucumber and Vaseline So someone with what dry lips And a love of vegetables Getting their 5 plus a day Yeah no they needed a bit of lube It's handy Yeah, no, they need a bit of lube. It's handy. I mean, you get some wheel nuts off the car, things like that. If you've got a creaky door.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. Well, I guess we did ask for this. And also, if you're de-creaking the door, you also want to eat, too. Like, it'd be healthy. Do you want a cucumber? A cucumber's great. All right, we're going to ask. No, no, for the questions.

I love it. Anxious, nervous Ben talking all over us. It's not good for radio whenever I talk at the same time, but I'm going to do it on this occasion and give you a hand. You can enjoy that. No further questions. Thank you, Mr. Joel. Very funny.

Who do we got on line three there, Joel? Should we go to Cassie? Welcome. Good morning. How are you going? Mate, we are doing well. It's lovely to have you on the show this morning, Cass. Thanks for having me. Secret Santa, when did you

misfire? Well, I've got two. I've got a bad present I gave and then I've got a bad present I got. Okay. Are we getting a multi-choice option here, what to talk about? Oh, absolutely. Okay, so let's go the bad present you got. Okay. Are we getting a multi-choice option here, what to talk about? Oh, absolutely. Okay.

So let's go the bad present you got. Okay. So I got a store discount voucher for the store I worked at for $20 off. $20 off. But you had to spend some money to get the $20 off. It was a jewelry store, so I had to spend quite a bit of money to get $20 off. Who gave it to you? One of your colleagues?

My boss. What a treat. He's like, hey, you have this off, but you need to spend it at the store. I love it. It's like handing a barista one of those coffee loyalty cards,

but only having six of the 12 punched out. Hey, thank you, Cassie. Well, we're going to give you a ham. Oh, thanks so much. A percentage off that ham. You get the whole thing for free. Thank you, Cassie. Well, we're going to give you a ham. Oh, thanks so much. A percentage off that ham. You get the whole thing for free. Thank you. Nicole, it was a shocker secret Santa.

It was indeed. I got a used cake of soap for Christmas. Oh, so not new, but used. Used. So how did you know it was used? Well, obviously in no wrapping or container? It was wrapped in Glabrap and there was

pieces of... Oh, no. No, no, no. Was it a prank? It was a secret Santa gift. Yeah, no secret there. Yeah, right. That is very...

I feel like someone panicked on the day and just went to the bathroom. The work bathroom. Yeah, I mean, oh, I'll just whip the air. What can I find? You got your money's worth out of the soap, did you? Yes, straight to the rubbish thing. Yeah, thanks, Nicole.

Merry Christmas. You too. We'll give you a hand from Farmland Foods. Great text here, 4487. Hi, guys. I thought I was doing something very special for a colleague. I got a personalized coffee mug done at Harvey Norman with a photo of an elephant with her at the zoo.

And it was intended as a nice gift, but she got offended thinking it was saying she was the size of an elephant. Oh, no. And called it out during the opening ceremony too Oh so good luck everyone that's doing our Secret Santa's So who are this week and next? Who's having the best weekend? We like to do this heading into the weekend

Hayley from the North, Connor from the South They tell us who's having the best weekend Yeah, g'day Hayley from the North and Connor from the South How are ya? G'day Have you changed your name by birth, death and marriages yet? To Hayley from the North and Connor from the South. How are ya? G'day. Have you changed your name by birth, death and marriages yet to Hayley from the North and Connor from the South? I'm just in the process. It's a lot of paperwork. Yeah, it is indeed. Now Hayley, we're going to let you kick things off this week and you lost last week by default because you hung up.

I know, it always bites me in the bum, that hang up move. Yeah, it's a bit awkward to award it to someone who's not there to say thank you very much. So what's happening in the North Island this weekend, mate? Well, I can finally say Christmas has come to the North Island. I've been wanting to say that for weeks. Hawke's Bay, on Saturday, they have a Santa scavenger hunt. So you can go all around the town of Hawke's Bay and find 10 different items in shop windows, and then you go into the draw to win your Christmas wish list.

So you let them know what you want for Christmas, and you could win that. That's cool. I know. How cool is that? Way cooler than anything down south. Well, we don't know that yet. And then Gisborne starting tonight. Can I just say, that sounds like a ploy from the Retailers Association to get people to

walk into those shops and buy things. I know, I know. It's a great answer. It's a scavenger hunt. I know you had Brad Economist on the show, so anything to kind of boost the local economy. Beautiful. Stimulating this weekend in the Hawke's Bay.

Yep. And then Gisborne, starting tonight, they've got Santa's Grotto, which is always good and gizzy, at an event centre. And you can also take gifts for Women's Refuge as well. They've got a sweet little post box so you can take your Santa letters too. And they've even

got slushies! When was the last time you had a slushie? Haven't had a grotto slushie in years. Grotto sounds grotty. It's an interesting name. Have you been to the grotto this year, Ben? Haven't actually been to the grotto this year, no. Have you been grottoing, Hayley?

Oh, just the name, the grottoing. I can't get past the 90s calling someone grotty. I can't get over it. If I said, hey, you want to come out and hang in my grotto, what do you expect? Yeah, no, I'm not turning up. I would contact, yeah, social services. All right, that's what's happening in the North.

Connor, we'll head to the wonderful South Island, mate. Can you beat that? Sure, can. And can I just say, I want to extend my commiserations to those in Southland dealing with the passing of the beloved cat from Queen's Park Junior at just six years old. Now, you might recall a couple of weeks ago, Hayley making claims about guinea pigs and their sudden death.

I'm not saying Hayley's behind it. I'm just saying maybe. Sounds like you are. No, no, I'm not. No, no. Well, yeah, she did publicly admit she was responsible for three passings of guinea pigs when she was growing up.

But in my defence, I did receive a broadcasting complaint, so I've paid my dues. All right, Connor, what's happening, mate? Well, we found out this week in Christchurch that our coastal areas are sinking five times faster than anywhere else in the country. But we don't care.

We're off to New Brighton for the Christmas parade this coming weekend. 10.30am on the corner of Marine Paid and Hawke Street. Santa will be rolling around the beachfront there in New Brighton. And at the same weekend on Sunday is our fourth Santa parade. I've prepared four in four weeks in a row. Wow. It's ridiculous.

I don't know how you could go to the OG one, then the Kaipoi one, then the seaside one, and then Sunday the Rangiora Santa parade. Well, there you go. Many Santa parades in the Garden City this weekend. The good thing about the coastal erosion is you don't have to walk as far to get to the water. I know, that's a good thing. We've got to look at the positives. Alright, Ben, over to you. Who's having the best weekend?

Don't put it back to me. There was accusations of animal cruelty, all sorts going on there. Defamation. I'm going to give it to Hayley because it's a low blow from Connor. You know, like accusing her of something. I was like, yeah, we're better than that, you know, like, putting up, like, accusing him, sorry, accusing her of something,

I was like, yeah, like, hey, we're better than that, you know? Yeah. Well, we are. Hey, thank you so much, you two, you're going to have a wonderful weekend, appreciate it. Thanks, guys. 800 The Hits, you having a good weekend? Yeah, that's what I'm talking to you, because it's cool,

come brag, make everyone jealous. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Amelia, you. Give us a call. Come brag. Make everyone jealous. Amelia, you're on from the Wairarapa. Hi. It's Ben's hometown stomping grounds. Wairarapa's great. It's a wonderful place, isn't it? Now, did you ever thought you'd be talking to the hometown hero himself?

No. No, I listen to his show every morning. Every morning? Never thought this would happen. Oh, mate, I'm not a hotel hero. That's for sure. There's definitely a lot cooler people than me. But what are you doing this weekend in the Wairarapa?

So I'm finishing putting my Christmas tree up with the decorations around my house because I've got a daughter that doesn't like it and my husband doesn't like too much Christmas. Oh, you've got to button off for Christmas, do you? Oh, he chugged away my Christmas tree So I put a Christmas tree up early Good play Finishing off the decos Lights

And coloured balls So yep And I'm going to see the Extravaganza Gypsy type fair in St Carleton Off to the Gypsy fair Do love me a Gypsy fair I always wonder is it ok to say Gypsy fair As I love me a gypsy fair. I always wonder, is it okay to say gypsy fair? As I've said it three times on the radio.

I'm not sure anymore. Is it a slur? I'm not sure. I don't know. Will you enjoy that fair? And have a great day. We'll give you a ham. Great.

Thank you. Nice. Marilyn, you're on. Welcome. Hey, how are you? We're doing all right. What have you got planned this weekend? We've got a bit of softball on in the day tomorrow,

and then tomorrow night I get to go out for the first time in, which seems like forever, to a 40th. So I'm excited. Laying the hammer down, Meza. That's the one. Yeah. At what point do you start thinking about Sunday morning and the night? I don't.

You don't? She's going all the way to... We'll see Marilyn on Tuesday. She is gone. The thing about softball, the balls are so big, aren't they? The softball balls. Oh, they definitely are. And not soft.

No. The name is very misleading, isn't it? I don't understand that. They're not soft at all. No. And your hand barely wraps around them. Yeah. Enormous.

Yeah, enormous. Well, you enjoy that game of softball. Marilyn, appreciate it. We're doing the best weekend. Tracy. Oh, good morning. Have we woken you from a deep, deep, deep slumber? I'm just sneaking out of my room.

Sounds like you're sneaking away from a one-night stand. Speaking of tired, last night, God, my alarm was going off, like middle of the night is when we wake up. And I got up and I was just standing, looking at it, and I couldn't figure out where the noise was coming from. And it was going on for about 60 seconds. It was a long time. And Jim always goes, what are you doing, you idiot?

And I'm like looking under the bed for it. I'm opening drawers and going, where's this noise coming from? So, Tracy, I feel like we've caught you in this moment. It's not a dream. It's more of a nightmare. We want to give you something, Tracy. Is that a ham? That is a ham.

We want to give you a ham. Thank you so, so much. That's so awesome. You're very welcome. I think at Farmland Foods, they've been very generous giving us a lot of hams. And we've never been more popular than when we've got hams to give away. So it's great for Christmas. Oh, that's been awesome.

I've been listening to you guys right through my treatment and stuff. And now I've finished my treatment. It's real good. It's simple, actually. Thank you. What treatment's that been? I've been going through chemo. Oh, mate.

Tough year, eh? Yeah. So but now it's all finished and, yeah, it's awesome. Are you in remission now? Yes. Oh, well, that's great. Yes. Yeah.

I found out about a month ago. Oh, I'm glad to hear that. To celebrate, we'll give you a ham. That's awesome. Thank you, guys. We've got nothing else to give you. That's great. I mean, a ham got nothing else to give you? No That's great I mean a ham is great

A celebratory remission ham The hits The Jono and Ben podcast Christmas in the Park Tomorrow night Yeah Big event Usually isn't it

There's one I think the Christchurch one Was last weekend If my memory's correct Kaylee Bell She's doing Christmas in the Park Yeah Country singer Kaylee Bell

She's had a huge year Won a country music award Kaylee Bell But we've done our time At Christmas in the Parks, haven't we, over the years? We've hosted the TV version of it a couple of times. Not good enough for the main stage, but okay. G'day, guys. We're at Christmas in the Park behind us.

You've got Ben Lomis playing. That's exactly what our voices sound like. Yeah, that's exactly what we do. But we had a shocker at Christmas in the Park. Well, you didn't so much, but I mentioned this story before. We were having a photo with two young fans. So I had arms wrapped around both these two young children. You pinned this one on me too, because not the photo situation,

but just because of the outfit. Because I was like, it's Christmas time, we're on TV. Let's wear suits, top half,'s Christmas time we're on TV. Let's wear suits top half. Look respectable on TV but then bottom half let's go shorts. Togs and jandals. A Kiwi Christmas.

Which meant I was wearing a very loose trowel. A very loose sort of board shorts trowel. So I got my hands wrapped around two children. Their mum's taking a photo of me. Some little bloody goblin comes up. It wasn't me too,

by the way. It wasn't Ben. Someone comes up behind me. Boom. Down trows me. Clean down trows me with the board shorts. Okay?

I'm left exposed. Fully exposed. It was a double banger, My hands wrapped around two 12-year-olds. The mum takes the photo. Bang!

Timing impeccable. Comedic timing impeccable. And the reason I keep retelling this story is that if you ever see this photo, you'll know there is a backstory to it.

Okay? And get that backstory out there on the market. That's what he keeps banging on about, that's for sure. Now Air New Zealand have got an epic new ad at the moment

a Christmas ad which visually is spectacular it's like a bit of an action movie where one of the air stewards is trying to return

a present has been left on the flight and is running through the airport and pretty much doing all sorts of action moves inspired by

The Matrix and James Bond and lots of other action moves inspired by the Matrix and James Bond and lots of other action movies. It's very cool. It sounds amazing. How about spending less money on this and making our flights a bit cheaper to the Hawke's Bay? Yeah, well, there you go. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

But hey, it's pretty cool. It's gone worldwide. But we thought we'd delve back in the archives for Friday Flashback into some of the good and the bad of Air New Zealand ads. And you know, they do a lot of safety videos over the years. Some have been good, some have been, you know, a little... They really made a ride for their own back,

didn't they, Air New Zealand, with the safety videos because the pressure and anticipation we all put on the new safety video, it was probably more hyped up than the Lord of the Rings trilogy, wasn't it? Oh, Air New Zealand's got a new safety video! And then we'd all get very judgmental on it. And the thing is with a quirky safety video is,

let's say the first one to three times, you appreciate it on a flight. But then 12 trips down the track, I feel sorry for the stewards who have to watch the safety videos every day. Yeah. It sort of started with the body painting. If you remember, they had the body painting one a few years ago.

And then they kind of delved off into getting rugby on board, the rugby players and the rugby coaches. Even Sir Graham Henry was part of the ad. Have a listen. If you find yourself needing smoke on this flight, consider yourself dropped. Smoking anywhere on the plane is not allowed. And we can't have that kind of disruption in the team. That's the happiest you'll ever hear, Graham Henry. I felt like he was like, you get one take and do it.

They'll be like, can we get enough? No, that's it. I think they almost got a smile out of him too, didn't they? Yeah. I remember that one. So they had the rugby one. They had Richie McCaw as well. And then they had a puppet, kind of like a Muppet,

but it was Rico was the puppet's name. And Rico was... He was a bit edgy, wasn't he, Rico? Yeah. He definitely would be cancelled in 23, Rico, wouldn't he? I think back then as well, I think they got rid of him because people complained that he was a little bit of a pants man. He was kind of like quite a ratty looking.

Yeah. Yeah, light brown colour. Maybe South American or something, an accent or something as well. I tell you what, the advertising agency that came up with Rico, they definitely had been indulging stuff from South America. Yeah, and Rico turned up once in one of their commercials to Snoop Dogg's house, the rapper. They got him as well.

They got him turning up. Snoop Dogg would be, how high am I right now when I'm talking to a puppet? What did this have to do with an airline? I don't know. Just go with it. Rico arrived there and he was basically perving on all the women as well. On Snoop's ladies. At the start and with Snoop.

Nice backyard. Really nice backyard. I'm going to bang the track for you, but I also want you to know I got some eye candy for inspiration. Oh. Yeah. Sounds nice. Shut it down.

And then they did this rap. They had nothing. You're right. Nothing to do with the New Zealand or song. Oh. Sounds nice. This is what I reckon. I reckon there was some 22 year old advertising person

who's like I really want to meet Snoop Dogg how can I make this happen they made it happen they did

and finally as we flash back on a Friday just quickly Katie Holmes of Dawson's Creek actor married to Tom Cruise and Cuba Gooding

Jr. who was in Jerry Maguire they were together they were almost like God and they were like designing countries and coming up

it was very high concept. We should call that Japan and that island there some more. And we'll call this Cuba. Sounds like a party. It wasn't a party. No, no, that's right. That was a struggle. Who did we speak to?

Oh, the guy that played Dawson. James Vanderbeek, who was Dawson off Dawson's Creek. And we're like, hey, Katie has done this video. And we played it to him. And he was like, oh, my God. I am going to call her right now and relentlessly mock her. He's like, I hope they've made her a lot of money for that. But they'll be very memorable. And whether you

love them or you dislike them, they have created some really memorable moments. So yeah, well done to New Zealand still continuing to do so. There we go. Flashback Friday. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. I'm having, and maybe the reason for my scratchiness this morning is

my phone's been hacked. Russians? Not the Russians this time. I'm always worried about the hacked. Russians? No, the Russians this time. I'm always worried about the Russians, right? Yeah, the Russians always are hacking. They're a good hacking country,

aren't they, the Russians? Russians in China. It's the communist countries. They've got their hacking down pat, don't they? No, Poppy, my daughter, love her to pieces.

And I just, not saying that just because she's my daughter. Well, I am because it'd be weird if I was saying that about a strange girl. But she has gone onto my phone and taken it upon herself to colour code all of my apps. Oh, right. You know, I had 12 home screens of just apps scattered across the phone, you know, various bits and pieces. And she said, I'll take your phone.

And I didn't know what she was doing. She handed it back and goes, there you go. And yeah, she's color-coded everything. So now I'm in the process of when I want to use an app, having to remember what color it is. So what's the logo for Google? Oh, it's white with the color of multicolored G. So it probably looks pretty. It does. Aesthetically, very pleasing. it is so what's the logo for google oh it's white with the color of multi-colored g and so it

probably looks it looks pretty it does aesthetically very pleasing but yeah but quite you're right quite confusing tiny groups of like-minded colors but not not like-minded apps correct and this is what's throwing me it's not like oh here's all the games or here's all the uh all the stuff news exactly like oh i know where all this stuff's gonna be and i'm like what what what's youtube again what color is youtube so i wanted to play a little game with you okay i'll name the app and you describe it to me because this is what the game i'm having to play oh what the what the logo kind of thing is yeah okay okay uh just joel you can probably help me out here as well okay let's go the app store what are we looking at blue with a white thing in the middle blue with a white a i'll

give that to you oh well done yeah yeah so yeah uh let's go uh gmail gmail white and then it's got an envelope with uh red and yellow like yeah yeah i'll pay more attention to my actual things well done okay let's go uh a google calendar what's that looking like it's got a number on it right yeah but it's yeah isn't it it's white white with a red number sort of thing in the middle? No, white with the Google colours. Yeah, yep. Let's go... Yeah, whatever.

Instagram. Instagram. It's the photo of the... It's the old pixelated camera, whatever it's called. It's a pinky sort of... Pinky orange fade with a silver white. Yes, yes. It's kind of along those lines, yeah.

Well done. Let's go Netflix. Netflix. Oh, black with a red N on it. Yeah. I'll give that to you. Let's go the, okay, let's go your voice memo recorder, which is the one I've been trying to find.

That's black and then it's got like a waveform, which is red and white sort of thing. Well done. A very niche game. But I enjoyed it. Here we go so my apps look like the resin colour chart at the moment

very hard to find but the functionality not there fine