Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Wardrobe Malfunctions!

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

We ask for your wardrobe malfunctions after Megan Papas had a shocker! Jono had a run in with Matty Mclean at a cafe.. Ben's car key problem! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Who's having the best weekend? And we like to put the North versus the South Island with our representatives from The Hits in both of the islands and see who's having the best weekend from what they can tell us is going on. It does get very tense, doesn't it, the competition between the two? More tense than when a husband and wife radio duo are forced to still do the show

together, Ben, by the company. Connor, welcome. You're on. How are you, mate, in Christchurch? Morning. Ben, you stole one of my ones, by the way, the Ski Field. That was one of my picks for this week. Oh, I'm sure you can tell me more about the Ski Fields.

It's getting tense. Hey, Polly and Grant, calm down you two, OK? It's icy like the snow down south. Do you tell me more? Where's it opening? OK, well, the locks of it is there's going to be some snow this weekend across pretty much the deep south and then hopefully lingering across to Mount Hart,

which, of course, was open for a weekend and then closed for a week due to a lack of snow and some warmer temperatures. They're looking to open on Sunday. I think Quarters is looking to open early next week and if the snow forecast is right for the deep south, especially across the Southern Lakes, your Coronet, your Cadronas, your Remarkables

should be all go as well. Now, Conor, I hate to take us back to last week too, but I just want to know, was there any reviews of the Wolfpacks no rules show at the Blenheim Cozy Club there? I knew you'd ask me this John Oso I personally drove to Picton to get out for myself I despite the name being ladies night managed to sneak in and watch from the back I can tell you now it was a 9 out of 10. 9 out of 10 and the rules were thrown out? No rules the rule books up. No rules whatsoever. No rules whatsoever.

Anything else you're liking this weekend in the South? Look, this is an event I know Jono has heaps of experience with in Southland. Here we go. It's the Belford Young Farmers Bark Up. Now, I'll leave this one to you, Jono, to explain for those who don't know what a bark up is. Take it away. Oh, the good old bar cup where all the farmers get together and uh look up at the bark on the trees and rank it rank it out of 10. is he right yeah yeah you've nailed it mate

absolutely bag on no but it's pretty much um where the farm dogs come together in competition to see pretty much basically who has the best farm dog and the best thing about it is 50 of the profit from the night uh goes towards a new helicopter pad it is 50% of the profit from the night goes towards a new helicopter pad in Lumsden allowing easy access for the rescue helicopter in the area. That's great, what a great backup, it really does make sense. Are they still going out killing cats down your

island? All the kids going out shooting cats? That's going quite political actually, so we might move on from that one because we've got to get Hayley on, but happy birthday to you this weekend too, I understand too Connor. Thank you very much, appreciate that. Good on you mate, legend. Hayley get Hayley on, but happy birthday to you this weekend too, I understand too, Connor. Thank you very much, appreciate that. Good on you, mate, legend. Hayley, you're on, welcome. Yes, hello, good to be with you.

Happy birthday to Connor. I'm going to give him the gift of sweet, sweet defeat today. What's going on in the north, Hayley? Well, this weekend has gone to the Pussycats. We've got the Hamilton Cat Club have got their big cat show. A lot of feline energy in the one room.

But did you realize how many rules there are for a cat show? There are pages and pages. All claws must be clipped prior to judging. Also, you're allowed to present your pussycat on a colored cushion and colored bedding. You're allowed curtains to reveal them, but the towel over the cage must be white. A lot of clauses. Clause on the cat,

a lot of clauses on the contract as well. That sounds like an amazing event. What else in the north, Hayley? Well, how often have you wished you'd had one of those rustic steel windmills in your garden? Many times. Yeah, all the time.

I would always look out the back. I thought so. Yep. Or what about one of those necklaces that has a little bottle on the end that you can put things like the hair of your crush or a sentimental little shell? This is up with my dreamcatcher collection.

Where am I getting these items? Well, Matamata, they've got their big craft fair on Saturday. So like all good craft fairs, they're going to have all that stuff and all the copper rings that turn your fingers green and have all that stuff and all the, you know, the copper rings that turn your fingers green and things like that.

All happening at Matamata. There we go. Hey, so the Waikato Big Weekend, you got your cat show, then you head off to Matamata, you can get a weird green ring that'll stain your finger. But Hayley, thank you so much.

Now we need to decide a winner. Ben, you always get me to do this. I'm going to throw it over to you today. Oh, look, I'm going to give it to Hayley. She came in with confidence and she wanted to give Connor a birthday present of defeat today. Oh, look, I'm going to give it to Hayley. She came in with confidence, and she wanted to give Connor a birthday present of defeat. So well done, Hayley. You take it out this week.

Thanks, guys. Yep, I'm loving the victory. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, we're across the road. You stay at the cafe. Bumped into the adorable and much-loved journalist, Matty McLean, from Breakfast. You know, one celebrity treasure island, didn't he, Matty McLean?

And Bob just said, hey, hey, hey, do your usual greetings, whatever. And then you left for the lavatory. I did. I needed to go quickly to the bathroom, yeah. Which left me with Matty McLean. Now I have a wonderful relationship with Matty McLean. He's lovely, yeah. He's awesome.

I spent a lovely day on togs on a beach in Barcelona with Matty McLean once. The first time I hung out with Matty McLean. He was on a beach in Barcelona with Matty McLean once. The first time I hung out with Matty McLean. He was on a beach in Barcelona. Yeah. By chance, I was there for work. He was there on holiday. And then I was like, aye, we're in the same city. Let's hang out.

We went to the beach together. It was a wonderful day. And Fletch was there from Fletch, Vaughan and Hurley. Yeah, she had spent a day on the beach with those guys. Seems like an odd location. Hey, what do you guys want to hang out? Or should we go to the beach? We haven't hung out together all together since.

Let's stay, Bill, on the beach but it was great i had a great day but yeah but so i'm left alone with him and then you know me i'm an i'm like an annoying kid who doesn't stop asking questions yeah you know when you're driving with a kid in the end but why but why so i started so you know you're doing it well halfway through i know okay right yeah i always wonder that yeah no halfway through so i started talking to manny mclean now he's the investigative journalist but i was giving him the grilling like what time does he get up what time does he go to bed when does he leave work blah blah what's his routine how many producers you got into how many producers that's i think when i went to the bathroom how producers do you guys have i was like i'll go

to the bathroom now yeah then i think the answer this by the time you came back i was going you know what's your five-year plan, career plan? And then halfway through, I'm like, I'm just grilling this poor – he would have felt like Chris Hipkins, a shell of a human being, after Hipkins has been mauled across the coals by Mike Hoskick. Yeah, he was just waiting for porridge, I think, to take away. And he was like, jeez, you could see him look into the kitchen multiple times. He's looking in the kitchen.

How long is this porridge going to be? And he was probably like, should I just sacrifice the porridge and not eat breakfast this morning? Wrap it up. I don't want porridge anymore. No, I'm good to go. I'd like to publicly apologise to Matty McLean.

As well you should. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, I discovered a lump in my mouth yesterday. Right. So it was under my tongue and I'm thinking,

oh, and I'd felt it all day and then I kind of looked at it in the reflection of the mirror and I was like oh that looks angry and I'm like at this point I should have gone oh well I should just go to the doctor but I didn't I did what we all do I let my mind

get away on me I was teleported back to my smoking days I was like why did you start smoking now you've got bloody mouth cancer you, right? I was teleported back to my smoking days. I was like, why did you start smoking? Now you've got bloody mouth cancer, you idiot. And then I was like, last week we filmed something and the scene we were filming required a vape. Maybe it's that because I was sucking on,

sucked once on a vape. Oh, I've got mouth cancer. That's how dangerous it is. They do say vapes are bad, but yeah. They do. And then I was like sitting inside the car outside school and I kept looking at it in the rear vision mirror and i i hopped on google oh no i googled to google you

never go to dr google i know it's the worst possible thing you can do and every comparison photo of mouth cancer oral cancer look like my cancer i hate cancer cancer. Oh, jeez. I was going to text you. I was like, sorry, mate. Got cancer. You know, it turns out 75 out of 100, because then you're like going, what are the chances of surviving this? I haven't got to that point. 75 out of 100.

Survive? Survive. All right. 75%, not a bad odds. Yeah, that's a bit good odds, yeah. And then I was like, well, if I've got mouth cancer, you're going to have to cut my tongue off.

Oh, God, you really let yourself get away. Really let get away in yourself. Yeah, it's called a glossectomy. And I was thinking, well, there's probably a few people that wouldn't be too upset that my tongue got cut off. Well, no, you're right. Very hard to do this particular job, but you're right. Probably a lot of people would be quite happy about it.

And Jen got home. I was like, sorry, doll, got mouth cancer. And I'm showing it to her. She's like, it's definitely an ulcer. I'm like, it's not an ulcer. It's mouth cancer. i'm showing it to her she's like it's definitely an ulcer i'm like it's not an ulcer it's mouth cancer i'm sorry you're gonna have to tell the kids tonight she's like go to a doctor went to a doctor guess what well i'm guessing i'm guessing it's an ulcer because otherwise this would be a very very comical way to bring up a very it turns out a full-on story i'll be like oh geez it turns out i've got mouth cancer.

And I'm actually in good spirits. Definitely dealing with shock at the moment, aren't you then? So there you go. That's the news I wanted to drop. Yeah, mouth cancer. Well, I hope you're saying it is an ulcer. It sounds like it is. It's a lame ending to the story if it's an ulcer, though.

Yeah, but that is what you want. That's what you want in this situation. And the doctor's like, did you Google? You know, he had the disappointment. Did you Google this? And I was like, yeah. But to be fair, I've been in an appointment and I've seen a doctor Google symptoms.

They use it as well. Yeah. But they probably know what they're looking for. Yeah. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. You know, things are meant to be getting easier now with new technology. A lot of talk about AI and all that sort of stuff, and technology moves so fast. And keyless entry to cars is something that's come on over the last few years.

A lot of cars these days, you don't have to put an actual key in the ignition. You just walk up to the car, or you have your keys in there, and away it goes. You turn it off, and you take your keys with you. The car industry remixed the ignition, didn't they? They did. They went R. Kelly on it. Well, let's not say R. Kelly, but off, you take your keys with you. The car industry remixed the ignition, didn't they? They did. They went R. Kelly on us. Well, let's not say R. Kelly, but yes, I know what you said. And last night it caught my wife and I out

because we'd been somewhere, came home, I was getting out and she was going to another appointment, but she had to go inside and get something. So she kept the car running and I was like, I'll just grab the keys to go inside to open the door. And she's like, don't forget to put them back in the car running and I was like, I'll just grab the keys to go inside to open the door. And she's like, don't forget to put them back in the car. Now, at that point, I didn't put them back in the car, but she got back into the car. The car's still running.

As it does. As it does. Normally it gives you a beeping warning, but because she had been inside grabbing something, I guess that beeping warning to say the key's too far away from the car had stopped. She drove all the way down to's too far away from the car. It stopped. She drove all the way down to her appointment, turned off the car. Yeah. I get a phone call after an appointment.

Did you answer it? Yeah. Not knowing. Hello. Very cheerily. Hey, how's it all going? And then not great. Guess where I am.

And guess what I can't do. And you're like, well, that wasn't quite the fun guessing game that I was hoping it was going to be. Those are some big questions to ask. I was like, and the appointment, and what we can't do. I don't know, maybe like. How many points do I get for this? A triple backflip. What is the answer to that?

She's like, I can't start the car because you've got the keys. Let's go and pick the car. But that's where I was like, like well the technology's got too smart isn't it yeah yeah but in fairness she did say yeah i know i know i know i'm trying to help you like i was totally in the wrong and that i was just there i was mad at myself and also the car corporations i was like well hey the old-fashioned key in that ignition you know it's it did us no wrong no it didn't and uh but i guess it was probably i'm imagining it's harder to steal those cars now because you know back in the day you the one you taught me where you put the

screwdriver and just turn it over you can take a mazda 323 and no trump so now they've made that that a bit easier but in doing so they've also fractured marriages across the world. So there you go. Idiots losing. He was careless with the careless. Actually, speaking of the Hits breakfast last night, a bit of a live stream went on last night, didn't it? It's a live stream on Instagram as well.

Yeah, producer Joel. It popped up, Jen, my wife, she was like, oh, the Hits breakfast are doing a live stream like 806 p.m and i was thinking oh maybe ben's taking out maybe he's getting some feelings out in the air his real thoughts and feelings about politics maybe yeah uh but no it was producer joel what happened i actually have no idea i was just sitting at the basketball courts waiting for my social basketball game start and then my dad called me he's like you're live on air you're live on air i was like what do. He's like, you're live on air. You're live on air. I was like, what do you mean?

He's like, you're live on Instagram right now. Check your phone. And I opened my phone. And then I put my face up. And I'd see 50 people in the Jono and Ben Hits Instagram live stream. So it was just, you couldn't see anything. But you could hear the sound of bouncing balls and conversation. And you're like, dear God, what have I said for the last 10 minutes?

Yeah. After that happened, it all goes through your head.'re like what did i say because well i did text you i was like great coverage of the basketball mate yeah as soon as i heard basketballs i was like i knew exactly what had happened but how many steps do you have to go through to start live streaming well we went this through this before there's like five different steps it's a very unlucky pocket dial situation but I think we're just lucky that nothing bad was seen. Yeah, you're right.

Let's give away some free fuel. Every caller wins with Challenge Service Stations. Yeah, you can win a whole lot of free fuel today. Every caller that gets on the air wins $100 Challenge gift card thanks to Challenge Service Stations, putting the service back into Service Stations because the government, the fuel tax prices, they're taking the tax, they'll be helping us out basically and it's going tomorrow.

As of tomorrow, things are going to get a lot more expensive. Boo, government. Boo, yay challenge. Everyone is loving this giveaway this morning. Everyone apart from the Green Party. But Janine, you're on. Welcome. Woo! Morena. Morena to you. Currently stuck on the motorway, are we?

Yeah. What's the traffic like on the motorway? Give us a bit of a traffic update. It's not too bad. You know, Fridays are usually a bit better. They are. I notice Fridays and Mondays across the country. People must be doing the WFH on Mondays and Fridays.

Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, well, Janine, you got yourself $100 from Challenge Petrol Service. across the country. People must be doing the WFH on Mondays and Fridays. Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, well, Janine, you got yourself $100 from Challenge Petrol Service Stations. Yay! Thank you so much. That's some beautiful energy coming through. I know, it's good. I love it this time of the morning.

What do you want to say to New Zealand? Anything you want to say heading into the weekend, Janine? Manawatea Matariki, and go the Warriors. Up the wasps. That sounds good. All right. Love your work, Janine. You have a safe weekend.

Thank you. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, we'll just give you a little bit of a backstory. The wonderful team at Tarou Pala have helped us out many times. Three Dice Tarou, Fabian and the team there, they have helped us out with many a wacky tattoo-based radio stunt, Ben. Yeah, including a couple of Dwayne Johnson,

Dwayne the Rock Johnson tattoos. I've got a love heart on my behind of Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And then later I got it autographed and then he tattooed it as well, Fabian, at Three Dice Tattoo. Yeah, now what really blew us away about that is we were interviewing The Rock. This was six months after I made you get the

Love Heart Tattoo and just he had it on his phone have a listen. Ben Boyce is a mega fan so much so that I made him get this on his left bottom cheek can you see that? Wait a second. We saw that. Wait a second. I've seen that. I have it. Did you post it? No, I didn't post it, but I sent it to you. Yes, and you said you should get this.

And I said you should get this. No way. No, this is, they have teached you to do each other. Wait a second. I have it. I have it. I feel like I'm dealing with him. Look.

I do remember that. Can you guys see it? That's me. I feel like I'm deep in there. Look. I do remember that. It's right here. Can you guys see it? That's me. That's us. That's my left cheek. So you're clogging up Dwayne the Rock Johnson's photo stream with your butt cheeks. It was Emily Blunt with him, another famous actor.

They'd seen it. I know. They'd even used you as some banter between each other. So the great team at Three Dice,ice sadly have had their shop broken into, all the equipment stolen, so they're having a flash day tomorrow and go along and get a flash tattoo. Quick one, in and out. I don't know if that's quite what it's about, but hey.

Maybe I should have researched what a flash day was. And they have kindly given us a $350 voucher to give away, and so we chucked it up on social last night. The worst tattoo so you can get a good tattoo. And Ashley, you want to nominate your partner? I do yes, my fiance Ethan. So what's the tattoo that he's got?

Tell everyone. So on his upper thigh he has a pack and save style tattoo. It's their mascot the stick man. Yep. With a speech bubble that says it's meat week. And what does it

sound? We saw the picture of it. You DM'd it to us. It looks like it was done in prison. Where was this tattoo? Yeah, I can't know. Not prison. It definitely wasn't done by a professional. It was done at a house party about a year into our relationship

by his best mate kurt um who happened to be rather inebriated at the time sounds like yours and kurt's relationships a bit fractured no i love kurt he's great but it sounds like a world of trouble i didn't yeah he is a world of trouble, but he's great fun as well. So he had a tattoo gun. They were both drunk and they decided to... So Ethan used to work at Pack and Save, so that's why they decided to go for a Pack and Save tattoo. It's meat week too.

Our favourite week of the year, meat week. So good. We're going to give you a $350 voucher so you can spend that at Three Dice Tattoo to get your partner a better tattoo as well as that because you're on the air. You get $100 to spend at Challenge Petrol Service Stations to fill up at the pump. Oh, that's amazing. Thank you guys so much.

All right. And hopefully we'll get to see the tattoo one day in the flesh. Oh, yeah. He shows it off. All the guys love it. I bet they do. And all the women feel sympathy for that guy. The Hits, The Jono and Ben

podcast. So thankfully two Taylor Swift no wardrobe malfunctions thus far on her tour and that is a tenuous tie into what we want to learn. Oh I did actually see one. Oh great even better. Yeah but it was very minor it was like she had some sort of garter on some stocking thing and that snapped and broke

and it kind of like fell down a bit but she just carried on like the battler she is she is a battler isn't she she's one of us Ben she's one of us but yeah well that's great

there was a wardrobe malfunction yeah it was very minor in the grand scheme of wardrobe malfunctions we'll take it we'll take it because we got talking about this yesterday

when clothes weren't your best friend and so I was telling that story a month ago and I forgot my pants spitting right up

oh yeah yours spilt right up the seam. Right down the crater in the deep, dark depths. And I had to put a reusable supermarket bag in my trousers to sort of cover it up. But, yeah, my pants resigned in a blaze of glory that day. Sometimes it happens. You get your pants just ripped clean off. A great story for someone we know. Not a great story for them at the time, a very sombre occasion.

They were at a funeral carrying the coffin, one of the poor bearers, and she got her dress basically on a little peg, a little hook, next to one of the pews, the seats there. And as she was carrying the coffin, she couldn't do anything as the dress just ripped off. Clean off. And she had her hands in the air carrying a coffin,

her undies on display with her, yeah. The dress was like, these legs are too good to keep hidden from the rest of the world. Even at a funeral. It's illegal to keep these locked up. So here's some of the calls

that came through yesterday. I was a long time ago and I just started a new job and I was a wee bit stressed and I got to work on there and realized I had two different shoes on. Two different shoes? That feels like something that you could have red flagged yourself as soon as you put the shoes on. Yeah, I was really tired.

Okay, so I was dropping my daughter off at a private school in Hamilton. Yeah. And I think it was one of the early years and I was carrying something and I was wearing a long, thin skirt with an elastic waist and so I dropped her off at Say Goodbye and went to cross the road

and as soon as I stepped out on the road the elastic failed at my skirt and it fell down to my ankle. So me and my friends went up north to a surf beach and we're all in like little cute bikinis you know as you do and the waves were really really hectic. We kind of came up from being pummeled and two of us, the other one had a rash suit on, but the two of us, so one of my friends had lost her bikini top and I was basically like stripped naked.

Jeez, those waves. Those waves. Unpredictable. So those are some unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions. What's happened to you? Oh, under the hits. Give us a call this morning. We'd love to hear your calls heading into the weekend.

Talking wardrobe malfunctions. Kicked us off yesterday and tell you what, gangbusters. Some great texts coming through. Do you remember that period? Good period. About 10 or 15 years ago being the tearaway pants. So they were kind of like stripper pants. Yes, yeah.

But you had buttons down the side of the seams and you could remove them in an instant bang i think it was designed for sports themes like on the bench and then you've ripped them off and then you went on straight away great function on the sports field you know not so convenient for this poor lady who said uh she she had left some of the bottom ones undone for some airflow underneath and was running, got them caught. It was like a mall, got them caught on a hook or something. Bang!

They came clean off in the middle of the mall. The button-up trousers. Oh, goodness. Yeah, not ideal, but thank you very much for your text. Appreciate that. Johnny, wardrobe malfunction we hear. Yeah, this one was a bit of a doozy boys um made a few mates we were did a surf trip to bali just a few of them normally that guy

was playing but um yeah we were sitting on this beach and remember we normally play harmonica but we bought a couple of these pamphlets and we're sitting on the beach playing pamphlets probably for about an hour i can just imagine what you look like, and you're a handsome devil. Are we talking long hair, Johnny? Yep, yep, long hair. Playing pan flutes. He's very random, but all right, we'll go with it. It's Barley. Yeah, grandmas, little kids, families, a few ladies,

all of them walking past, at least 150 people, right? And they're all looking at us. They're like, man, these people must like our music, but why is no one smiling? And no one thought to mention anything, but as soon as one of my mates came back out of the surf, he just looked straight at me and he says, hey, mate, you know your chicken's hanging out?

And I looked down and realised every single person walking past was looking at this mushroom in a forest, and they had no idea about our music. Oh, no. You had it all out to see what your... You had your pan flute out while you're playing the pan flute. Oh, I sure did. Well, I had a pair of those cheap baggy Bali pants with the elephants on them and they

are not of a good quality, you know, they were ripped from here to there. It was all hanging out. Oh, Johnny. What was it, what was the boogie boarding like in Bali? Was anyone boogie boarding or is that just something that? Oh, there was a few boogie boarders. I always wondered that. Yeah.

Yeah, people, well, you hear it's a wonderful location for boogie boarding. Yeah, well, I always did wonder. Hey, it's a free fuel Friday. We're going to hook you up with $100. Oh, very good. Thanks, boys. Thanks to Challenge Petrol Service Stations. Awesome, hey.

Thanks, appreciate it. All right. Good on you. Chanel, welcome. How are you? Hello. What happened? Wardrobe malfunction?

I've actually got a couple, but one's with myself. We went to the hot pools while we were in with a group of friends, guys and girls, and ended up in this pool that was one of those spa type ones, really, really hot. And I was sort of sitting back relaxing. One of the guy mates was sort of in the pool next to me, a couple of other people, and I had my head back on the edge of the pool and sort of felt a bit breezy, looked down, and the top of my bikini had come undone and was sort of floating in front of me.

Oh, and so you got your arms back, relaxed, looking up at the sky. Uh-oh. So I quickly whipped it up and looked around, and no one looked like they saw, but it ended up being that the guy that I was with and the group of friends, I ended up marrying him later. And to this day, he said he never saw a thing. But I don't know if I believe it.

Yeah, sounds like someone's saying that they actually saw everything. Chanel, thank you very much. Appreciate your call.