Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: What Goes On In Ben's Bedroom...

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Ben's rule for his room! Police Ten 7 is finishing. Jono had a wardrobe malfunction We chat to Laura about our London trip! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Australia looking to, what are they, ban vaping a lot of the stores and you can only get vapes through chemists. Pooping the party. They are across the ditch, which is probably a conversation that's going to be had here at some point. The amount of vape shops around. Wild, Ben.. They used to be the party pill suppliers. Remember those wild days? Yeah, that's true. A lot of texts coming through which running a rogue poll. Vaping yes or no. Yes, ban vaping. My husband switched to vaping

from cigarettes and is more addicted to nicotine than ever before. He's increased his intake. Oh really? There's a lot of people saying banning vaping also won't achieve anything. It's going to happen regardless somehow, somewhere. That's probably quite true. They keep upping the price of cigarettes as well,

and people obviously still smoke, but you'd hope less and less people overall. So far, 75% of hits list is in favour of banning vaping. That's good, and judder prize, rogue poll. Well, something else I want banned is in my household at the moment. Now, Dilmar T, great supporter of this radio show. I love tea. We have tea in the morning as well, and I'll probably have a cup. household at the moment now uh dilma t great supporter of this radio show love to wear a

tea in the morning as well and i'll probably have a you know on average i probably would have two to three cups of tea a day i've never been leaky yeah it's great love it um but it became a thing that my wife and i particularly during lockdown uh we started to drink a cup of tea in the evenings it was probably to be honest during lockdown to just go it it was a wild time. And you're like, hey, we can't keep drinking alcohol every night. Was it to curb the alcoholism? Yeah, it was like, hey, someone will put the jug on, we'll have a cup of tea. Did you pour vodka into the tea? No, it was just tea.

And it became a nice little thing we'd have together, have a nice cup of tea at the end of the night. And you'd sort of talk about stuff that was going on. It was kind of a moment where after all, the kids had gone to bed and all that sort of stuff. And so it's become a little thing we'll do each night. But now, you know, with an early start in the mornings and this job, sometimes, you know, sometimes the tea doesn't happen with the two of us. Amanda's busy, I'm busy. And she will get to the stage now where she will like,

I'll just make a cup of tea and I'll be like, oh, it's too late, I'm going to bed. And she'll go, I'll bring it into the bedroom I'll bring the tea in just have it in bed normally we're watching something on Netflix or whatever and I don't know

for me that just feels like we're in the Ryman we're 80 years old we're just sitting and I've got cups of tea in bed I'm just like hey I don't know and I'm like

no no that's not no tea no cups of tea in the bedroom love tea but none in the bedroom and Amanda's like

well who are you all of a sudden you become the bedroom. And Amanda's like, well, who are you? All of a sudden you become the tea police. Yeah, you're like, there's only one thing this bed is used for, and that is seven to eight hours of good sleeping. It's not even seven to eight hours, to be honest. But I see your point. If you're reaching the cup of tea in bed stage, the next chapter in your life is you're the grandparents

of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They all just lived in that bed. But see where he got up, that guy, the grant.. Yeah. They all just lived in that bed. But see where he got up. That guy, the grand... He just sprightly got up in the air. There's a lot of people in that bed. It's like a saggy skinned bloody... There was about nine people sleeping in that bed.

There was a lot going on in that household. Let's not focus in on that because there's a lot going on in your household. Yeah, and I have said no more. No, not even gonna... It's not even gonna start. It's not even going to start. That's right. The only hot and steamy thing happening in here

is the electric blanket. Oh, I couldn't sleep on an electric blanket. Mate, I don't even have plugs by my head. Have you banned electric blankets? Oh, we don't have electric blankets. No, we don't have an electric blanket in the house. No, not one. What do you do?

Just lie on the floor? What's happening in this bedroom? Well, I lie on the bed, obviously, with a bed, but electric. Oh, I couldn't sleep on electric. You know what I mean, mate? I don't even have plugs by my head. Why would I sleep on something that's electrical?

I know, but then why would you come and work in a room with headphones on? Yeah, I know, I know, I have to. Okay, I'll wait over to the hits. Me and old paranoid Pete over here, we're going to check this out. 4487, what are you doing in the bedroom that's not sleeping? Yeah, what's

the bedroom being used for that it's not to do with sleeping, as you say? Are people eating dinners in there? I'm not a breakfast in bed sort of person, are you? No, not particularly. Especially if I'm up. I'm never going to go back. It's like reversing your day and going back again.

And crumbs. A lot of crumbs always end up. But maybe you're having your whole dinner in bed. Maybe you've held very important business meetings in your bedroom. Maybe arts and crafts are going on. You're crocheting. You're knitting. That sort of thing. I mean, what are you doing in bed?

Maybe you had Christmas Day in your bed. I don't know. We're trying our best to check out scenarios. You've got to come to the party now. As I said before, I for some reason decided that no cups of tea in the bedroom. Love a cup of tea, as I said before. Dilma are great supporters of this show. But I just, for some reason, I'm like, let's not take the tea, cups of tea in the bedroom.

I just feel like I'm 85 and I'm a retirement home. I see what you're saying. Yeah. You break all the other rules in that bedroom, though just feel like I'm 85 in the retirement home. I see what you're saying. Yeah. You break all the other rules in that bedroom, don't you? Stealing pillows, stealing sheets and that sort of thing. But you do. It's a fast track. If you start drinking cups of tea in bed,

next thing you're starting to find yourself agreeing with Winston Peters, phoning Talkback Radio and sort of saying the younger generation don't know how good they've got it. Yes. Those sorts of thoughts start creeping in. Oh, that's the slippery slope.

You're right. Yeah. But we want to know what's going on in your bedroom apart from sleeping. Yeah. Barb,

this is our friend Barb. Yeah. Morning, guys. Morning. Where have you been for the last two years? Barb, did you go to a better show?

No. No. It's my hands free on my phone. better better show no it's my my hands free on my phone is yeah on the car is useless you heard me it sounds like i'm down a tunnel so i i just listen and and rant and rave that you guys but you can't hear me oh okay good good to know you're still ranting and raving barb uh what are you doing in the bedroom apart from sleeping um well it's definitely not eating in bed. If you have stories about somebody eating food like dinner in bed,

I am changing stations. Oh, a shudder at the thought of the crumbs in the bed and the mess on the sheets. God help me. I'm with you, Barb. Keep it clean. Keep it clean in bed. That's right.

Yeah, don't be clean in bed. Now, every now and again, I will occasionally on a Sunday morning have a cup of coffee in bed, but that might be about twice a year. And my husband will never, ever have anything at all to drink in bed. So at nighttime, there is nothing. You don't have tea in bed. You don't have food in bed unless you're sick, right? Okay.

What about some chops? Well, lamb chops. Lamb chops. They're kind of clean. I had lovely lamb chops last night and I picked the bones up and ate them with my fingers and greasy fingers in the bed. You can just imagine that. You don't want greasy fingers in your bed.

Alright, Barb, I'd love to talk to you again. You take care of yourself. Actually, hold there, Barb. Stay there on hold because we're going to go to Rachel. Rachel, what's going on in your bedroom apart from sleeping? What's happening, Rachel? We understand it's your partner. Yeah.

Oh, we've got a shoddy phone line. Now, this is the radio announcer's worst nightmare. What happens here, Pryor? What's your training tell you? Are you back, Rachel? Yeah, I'm here, can you hear me? My extensive training told me to plough on You've done well

And pretend it's not happening Ignore it, but you haven't Yeah, Rachel Now what's happening in your bedroom Apart from sleeping, Rach? I kept up in the middle of the night And my husband, which is now, we used to, when we first got into a relationship

and he'd be eating random things like one night I caught him eating a cup of noodles, like just listening to him slurping them up. A cup of noodles? What, like two minute noodles? Yeah, yeah. What time of the morning is he doing this?

Like, this time was like one o'clock in the morning. Like, he just, yeah, would wake up and really have a rest and make himself time and eat. What else did you catch him eating in the middle of the night? Gravy. Gravy? No, grain waves, like the first of the trip. Okay.

Try to piece it together. Now my extensive training is telling me this is a bad idea. Continuing on. But you think of grain waves as well, and they've got a distinct devoted. Now, Rachel, we'll leave you there, and we'll go back to Barb, who said she would shudder and change radio stations if she heard of people eating in bed. What do you think, Barb?

Instant feedback. I would say that that man must be an absolutely incredibly wonderful man because to have a fault like that, he must be so good in any other ways or he would have been out of my life, I tell you. There we go. Instant feedback. That's how it's happening. Thank you very much for your calls.

Appreciate it. That's what's going on in bedrooms. Apart from sleeping, you can get these texts coming through 4487. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. The census. It was a while ago, right? And when you break it down, 4.5 million people in New Zealand have done it.

That's a good response. That's a pretty good response. 56 days ago, the census. Yeah, so they were hoping for 90%, and 86% of people have done it. That's good enough. So I think it's really good, but they're still there. They're all there. They're trying to get the final people across the line.

It feels like those people are like, ugh. You've lost them. They're gone. Like, if they haven't filled the census out, why are they going to do it 57 days later? I know. But now they're bribing. They're bribing people.

They're offering things like Warriors match tickets or food and beverage vouchers $25 vouchers to spend at the warriors uh there's also they're also making star wars jokes as well going uh may the fourth uh yeah may the fourth because it's coming up be with you but don't be the rogue one to to not put your senses through and things like that so a few puns in there poor senses people they're starting to look desperate guys it's they're hoping everyone enters the star wars spirit and commits to doing their bit to complete the census i'm sorry there's four percent you're after don't give a shit about the census well

producer producer joel uh have you even done this i think he has i think his flat is uh put it through i think the flat did it yeah but you have to do one each yeah well i made the wrong move by getting the vaccine too early, missed out on some food vouchers and some really good prizes. So I'm holding out till maybe like a signed Warriors jersey, then I hand it in. They'll do this now. What about six months top?

Exactly. They're offering out bloody flat screen TVs. You've got the jab with them. I've got a jab for nothing. Yeah. I could have got a 42-inch television. I'm playing my cards right this time. Yeah, good on you.

He has put in the census. But you're right. If you haven't, you can go, well, hang on. I'm not going. I don't have a 42-inch television. I'm playing my cards right this time. No, he has put in the census. But you're right, if you haven't, you can go, well, hang on, I don't have to go to the Warriors. I mean, the Warriors is a great incentive and the food and beverage voucher. You're right, if this is where they're starting, where are they going to be in a month or two? Let's be clear, it's not the Warriors doing this.

No, it's Stats NZ that are jumping on board and trying to incentivise it. I'd be a shocking statistician. I'd be like, that'll do. Like, we've got 86%. Surely that's a decent enough catchment. It does feel like, when you say 4.5 million New Zealanders have done it, you're like, oh, good enough.

Move on. Exactly. There's more people that are going to vote this year, sadly, in the election. That's, you know, it's pretty good. And who, what do they do with this? What do they do? What was it used for? I don't know.

We spent a lot of money on it. They're spending a lot of money on Warriors tickets. Now, the King's Coronation is happening this weekend. A lot of the world's attention will be focused on that. It's a huge event. Chris Hipkins, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, is over there. And you just probably heard on the news, he caught up with William over there as well, Prince William.

And it kind of felt like they said, what did you talk about? And it kind of felt like, you know, when you try to go, maybe I went out with the boys or something, and I was like, oh, this is what I, what did you talk about? What did you do for eight hours? This is what he said. We had a good wide-ranging conversation about a range of issues of importance to New Zealand.

The Prince has been a regular visitor to New Zealand and asked a lot of questions. A lot of questions. We talked about a lot. Just a lot of stuff. We covered some ground. Just stuff. Don't drill down on what actually happened. You don't want to get weighed down.

Can I remember it? No. It was a wide range of conversations. He loves talking. I love talking. We talked about so much stuff. Do you reckon Chris Hipkins walked into the room

and William was like, Harry? Harry, you're back. Is that you? I can just ask? Harry's probably phoned Chipkins and gone, bro, I don't want to be here.

Can you fill in for me at these formalities, mate? Wide-ranging conversation. It was good. Talking about all sorts of stuff. Lots of questions. Now, we're going to be there. This weekend, we're going to be

at the King's Coronation in London. Very excited. Or are we? Because this is the nation's secret. We planted the seed on Monday. There's one person who works here at the Hits who you wouldn't find a bigger fan of the Royals. Laura McGoldrick from The Afternoon Show.

You know her from Sky TV as well, she for eight months has been trying to get over there, trying to convince management, the suits spent, to send her over there to cover the event. And so we thought it would be quite funny if we pretended that we were going over there as well. And so basically faked it up on social media and obviously talking on the radio as well,

doing the show out of London when really we're not travelling anywhere. So the joke's on Laura. We can bring you in on it now because Laura right now, she's getting her makeup done for something. She's filming at Sky. Yeah. So this is the nation's secret. And geez, might I congratulation you, that's right, on how good you are at keeping secrets. It's disturbing.

I mean, we kept the rest of the world hidden away from the fact that we weren't 100% pure for many years, didn't we? Kept that secret. But on Monday, Laura was told the news that we were going. She was recorded by our hidden microphones. They're sending

Jono and Ben to cover the coronation. You're joking. Yeah, right. Because they love You're joking. Yeah, right. Because they love the royals. Yeah, I was going to say, they're right across that, are they? Oh, it's a cool one. Are they going to have to give them questions again for their royal correspondence? Dammit, I want to go.

Jono and Ben don't even like the royals. There you go, so that was on Monday. And then yesterday, Taylor, Brad and Laura's producer, phoned her with a request that we had. We wanted her involved in this. Laz. Yo. Laz, hey.

Sorry, mate. Sorry. I forgot to ask you during the show. Yeah. Ben from Jono and Ben, he just texted asking if you reckon you could tune um cross to them tomorrow morning in their show because you know how they're going to england for coronation they're they're kind of like unsure like who they should be chasing what to be asking when they're there so do you reckon you could what what would you possibly send to people who know nothing about the royals or even

care about the fact that this is happening? It just literally makes no sense at all. But, you know, I'll do the work for them. Listen, at least they're asking you for your advice. Even if they don't know, they shouldn't go. Like, I go on everyone else's show talking about the Royals, but they're going to send Jono and Ben who know nothing about them. It's cool.

No, it makes perfect sense So that was yesterday So next we're going to call Laura With our heartfelt apologies So this is going to involve green screen trickery Cinematography On social media it's going to look like we're in London It's already working

Annie Pryor phoned me last night You're going to London? When are you leaving? So it's tricked the boomers already. Now we're just going to continue

on the live for Laura McGoldrick. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Big day for fashion yesterday wasn't it?

Had the Met Gala. Yes. Massive. Yeah. People dressing up as cats and all sorts and supporting

a Karl Lagerfeld. That was the theme. Apparently a bit of a shaky past Karl. Controversial opinions on the Me Too movement.

You know, fat people. And what else did he... There was a whole lot of... But yeah, so that was kind of the theme. It was all the who's who of... Anyone was there in New York yesterday. From Kim Kardashian, Rita, Rita Ora, you know, Serena Williams. They were all there for it.

Well, it was a shocking day for fashion for me yesterday. All right, what happened? And I could probably say that for any day. Yeah, what was different? So we had a pretty big meeting yesterday. We met with some people, some executives. We were trying to close the deal, you know? When Ben Boyce gets the taste of blood, he's like a shark.

Oh, jeez, I don't think I've closed many deals, to be honest. Yeah, we call him the shark and I'm the wolf of Bald Street. And we went into a room of people that we'd never really met before, having a conversation, shaking hands, pressing flesh, doing business stuff, closing deals. You know how it goes. I don't know if I've ever been part of a business deal. But, yes, we have.

From time to time, we do meet with people far And, you know, far more important than us. Yeah. The suits. Yeah. You know, meet with the suits. And I walked out of our meeting with the suits, went home. And then I arrived at home. And I was like, oh, dear God.

God forbid. My zipper has been down this entire time oh no now these are difficult circumstances because people would have noticed people look but these are people like you should have told me i didn't notice you should have you know you know i didn't notice i probably would have i probably would have where that saves you the relationship our I probably would have. I probably would have. We're at that stage of the relationship, our relationship. I would have gone, hey, mate, your zipper's down. Yeah. And you would have told me discreetly, because you do, actually.

You tell me when. Like, having your zipper down is like, it's the crotch's version of having lettuce in your teeth. Yeah. And you do inform me when there's stuff in my teeth. Yeah. But the problem is the people that were meeting with the suits, they would have noticed it. But they're in a very fiddly position where they're like, I feel like I should inform this person. But then as soon as I inform them,

they're going to know where my eyes have been focused on. At that stage, I'm guessing they just can't wait for you to leave so they can all talk about you behind your back and go, did you see? Oh, yeah, I noticed that too. That's the situation they would have been in. They would have been having a good laugh after we left. Yeah. But there's no worse feeling, is there,

when you arrive home or you've actually got a moment with yourself and you realise, well, jeez, the world's seen a lot more of me than I intended today. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Last night on television for an iconic show tonight, Police 10-7. Always blowing the pie, safer communities together. Morons, two armed and violent mongrels, three stooges, three desperate and wild-eyed,

gutless goons, three vicious apes, two fat women and a man with a gun, this scruffy little thug, this little germ, lunatic scumbag with a steak knife. And it's at this point I admit that I'm not really sure of what I'm supposed to say. And joining us right now is the host of Police 1070, he's also a current police officer as well, Rob Lomoda. Good morning. Hey, how are you?

We're doing all right. Nice to talk to you. Yeah, well, you snobbed me at the Warriors. Oh, did I say, I didn't even see you at the Warriors. I'm sorry about that. No, I'm only joking, bro. Trying to avoid the cops at the Warriors. Oh, did I say? I didn't even see you at the Warriors. I'm sorry about that. No, I'm only joking, bro. Trying to avoid the cops at the Warriors. He always sneaks a lot of stuff into Mount Smart.

No, no, I don't. Oh, no, he can't, mate. He's about the size of my thigh. Yeah, pretty tiny. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. I was talking to my mate down by the home base. I think you must have one of your kids with you.

I mean, my daughter, I don't know why, she's a big fan of you guys, got no taste whatsoever. And she comes sprinting over and she's like, Dad, Dad, just saw Ben walk past and was like, sorry, who? Jono and Ben. I said, oh, look, if Jono's not with him, it doesn't count. It doesn't count.

Not that important. She said, he's huge, Dad. He's almost the size of an under-7 prop. Hey, mate, we meant to be talking about your final episode. This has turned into the roast of Ben Boyce, and I love it. I can imagine. Imagine this week, though, for you in all seriousness, a bit of sweet, because, you know, 20 years and back.

Mate, appearing on your last show, you guys have jinxed me. The bloody cancellation brothers have got me cancelling. Amazing run though, 20 years, 750 episodes, an iconic New Zealand show, but it must be sad at the same time. Oh look, I was very disappointed to hear that we had come to the end of our run. Not for the television stuff for me,

or any stretch, I'm actually happy for the break. But just the amount of help that it's provided our victims and our communities. Because it's always good for a laugh. You know, you guys know that. Having a laugh is good for your soul. But also getting a chance to put some serious stuff in front of the public and let them help us with it. It's a shame to see that come to an end. Well, I imagine it was a very powerful tool for the police investigating crimes.

Yeah, absolutely. We got some really good results. That was great to always go back to the victims and let them know that they'd made an arrest or that they'd got some closure for the family. For me, that's the sad bit. I mean, seeing Kiwis do silly things and just be Kiwis, it's always for a giggle, but the fact that we caught and got so many results, that's the bit that I'll miss the most.

Over a thousand cases solved over the years from the show, which is pretty incredible. I think officially we set it at around 960, but I've been to so many different stations where investigators have come up and said, hey, look, I didn't let the team know, but we got a good result out of that. I'll be all consensual, and one of the guys walked up,

said, look, we got all four offenders for that serious assault downtown, and thanks to the show. So, yeah, officially we sat under it. But I know, like many conversations I've had over the nine years, we've had so many more results that weren't recorded. We'd be well over 1,000. Now, there's a lot, I mean, without getting into the politics of it all,

there's a lot of crime out there now at the moment. It feels like in some ways we need a show like this even more now with everything that's going on. Where are we going to go to get the low-life scumbags and the thieving mongrels now? But in all seriousness, a lot of ram raids, a lot of things going on in the community. It does feel like it

would be much needed. I think there will always be a place for the public to help us. We've got a lot of social media platforms and we've sort of got some police websites that will always be a place for the public to help us. We've got a lot of social media platforms and we've sort of got some police websites that will always be up and running. But, yeah, I don't know, mate. I can't answer that question, unfortunately. So what did it come down to in the end?

Why did TVNZ not agree to renew it? Well, like you guys, I fronted the show, but I'm not involved around the boardroom table, I'm sure. So when I got the news that we weren't going to roll on this year, I was disappointed. But I didn't really probe or ask the questions because, as you know, I'm still involved in policing and that takes up a lot of my time and we've had some serious crime here.

I've been involved in some pretty big investigations and that was their decision. So I didn't really look for the phone book and get a lamp and interrogate anyone at TV and TV. We'll start a petition. We'll launch an investigation. We'll start a petition. Someone started a petition for us.

They got thousands and thousands of signatures, which was lovely, but it didn't work. It doesn't do anything. Yeah, yeah. I think my daughter mentioned that. Well, mate, a huge congratulations to not only yourself, but the team and the police as well. What a wonderful run. 20 years.

And as you say, you continue on doing the police work, still working out there on the front line. Yeah, yeah. I really appreciate the support of the public. The show wouldn't have been in the wars without the support of the public and the team from Screamtime. Amazing people.

When I started working with them, I didn't know how it was going to go, but they put up with a stumbling, bungling boy from South Auckland. Luckily, lucky enough to get in front of the cameras. It's been a trip and really looking forward to the show tonight. We're going to celebrate in style. Good on you. Rob Lomato, always a pleasure catching up.

You keep safe. No worries. Keep up the good work.