Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Who Has The Biggest Feet In New Zealand!?

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

We find the biggest feet in New Zealand..size 21 When have you had a dadsaster? Ben's scared of spiders.. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Now, you know what they say about guys with big feet? Very complicated to buy shoes for, Ben. Yeah, that's what we're discovering, right? The age-old saying. Chris Parker, comedian, former colleague of ours, came in and something we haven't been able to stop talking about since he graced us with his presence were his non-stop growing feet. My feet have got bigger. Have they really? I can't believe it.

I am a firm 14 now. Are you size 14? I'm size 14. Wow. You go into the shop and you're like, do you have a sturdy box that the shoes have come in? Because I'll wear those at this point. I cannot buy shoes in this country. It's unbelievable.

Jeez, size 14 feet yeah bloody have to catch an Uber to cut your toenails what are your what are your your yeah like a 10

it's pretty standard kind of run of the mill yeah I'm 11 run of the mill stuff but this is what we want to chuck open 0800 the hits anyone in your life

with you know enormous feet the biggest feet we can find listening to the hits radio station I get a bit confused with all the different sizes with you know enormous feet the biggest feat we can find listening to the hits radio i'll get a bit confused with all the different sizes too you know it's always the way but what how does it like usa oh when they combine euro stuff that means like you know like all the kids when the

kids go up to the adults it all gets very confusing i feel like we just need to have one consistent system through the system i'm with you then you need to have one. One consistent system. And we just keep working through the system. I'm with you. Then you try and buy one of those Kung Fu shoes. They're like size 78. Well, I don't know what that means. Why are you on the market for Kung Fu shoes? Back in the day. Are you taking up martial arts?

I was thinking about it, but I couldn't get the appropriate footwear. Couldn't figure out the sizing chart. We've just been teasing this morning. Sydney is with us, who works in the Bigfoot industry. Welcome, Sydney. Oh, hi. Hi. Now, we were just talking to our friend Chris Parker, a comedian,

and he was saying that he has large feet and he struggles to find stores. Yeah. And you guys, this is what you do? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of people who struggle. Just like all of the workers here, we all have big feet too, so we can relate. So that's the prerequisite for the job. Show us your feet.

Yeah, you know, they're 10 plus. You've got the gig. So how big are we talking? So we start at a woman's 10 and we go right up to size like 13. Wowee. And so the biggest foot that you've served would be a 13.

Yeah, well, I've actually seen bigger than that. Oh, he's's bigger, you're like we can't deal with that, it's like Cinderella We're like we can't deal with that, yeah That's out of our jurisdiction What's the biggest foot you've seen? Probably, it was probably like a 14 And are your shoes for everyone? We tend to do more feminine shoes but we get a lot of men come in. And Ronald McDonald, has he come in?

Yeah, he came in yesterday. He'd be size 26 USA, Ronald. He definitely would. He's running some big clobbers. Well, that's really interesting because we're going to do a hunt for New Zealand's biggest foot. Oh, interesting. As I say that, is that weird? A little bit.

That is a little bit weird. Hey, anyway, lovely to talk to you at Willow Shoes. You look like you're in Christchurch and in Auckland, which is great. We are, yeah. Catering for people right around the country with big feet. Hey, thank you very much. You have a good day. Thanks. There you go. 0800 The Hits, let's open it. Biggest pair of feet

we can find listening to the show this morning. At the moment, Chris Parker, comedian, the International Comedy Festival's on. He came in, opened up with us, didn't he? It was a heart-to-heart, shared with us that his feet won't stop growing. Size 14 they are now. And we wanted to know who listening right now has someone, either themselves or someone in their life, with the biggest feet. You like to call this feet shaming.

It feels like something we're going to get cancelled for in five years' time. I said to you after, I was like, are we feet shaming? Is this something? But anyway. No, we're honouring. Feet honouring. Let's go to the phones. We'll kick things off with Nicole in Auckland.

Good to have you on, Nicole. Someone in your life with big feet? Hi, yeah, my 15-year-old son has got size 15 feet and he's still growing. Wow. Size 15. How are you finding shoes for him? Really hard.

Yeah. And really expensive. I can imagine. His shoe size is matching his age at the moment. I'm just Googling here. When do your feet stop growing? 18. 18.

So technically, if he's on this trajectory, he's going to be size 18 in three years. Size 18, yeah. Wow. How tall is he? Six foot three. Jeez. You birthed a monster.

I know, yeah, yeah. My feet with shoes on can fit in his shoes. With shoes on? That's remarkable. I think it'd be cool. That's impressive. All right.'d be cool. That's impressive. We're going to go to Marina. She's on from Nelson. Good on you, Marina.

New Zealand's biggest foot. We're on the hunt for it. Size 16. Size 16? We're going up one size at a time. Who's this? Yes, that's my husband, who's actually also a comedian. Maybe it runs in the profession.

Oh, really? Well, you know, I don't want to sort of make the comparisons with clowns. It's there. Yeah. It's definitely there. And again, you know, it's probably the most common question you get. How do you buy shoes? How does he buy shoes?

He's actually had to have some made. There's an amazing lady on Waiheke Island that makes shoes. And Australia. Wow. Bespoke shoes. That's awesome. Yeah, it's really tough here. But we're always on a hunt for a good shoemaker.

Yeah. Becoming the bane of your life. Good on you, mate. Appreciate that. Someone's texted in saying Shaquille O'Neal, basketballer, size 22. 22? Yes. You always hear great stories about Shaquille O'Neal donating shoes to kids who can't find shoes.

But then they end up with these giant, big, ugly pair of basketball boots that they have to wear day to day. Weddings, funerals, school. We'll take one more call. Go to Nelson. Karen. Hi, how are you? Now, who's got the biggest feet in your life?

My nephew has. He's got a size 21. Get off it! 21! So he's grown up with, like the other lady, so when he was 15 he had 15, 16, 16, 17, 17, 18, 18 and so on.

He works away now so I haven't seen him for a wee while, but I don't know whether he's stopped growing or not, but yeah, he's got big feet. Now that is, like you would never be able to get size 21 shoes. No, his mum said they had real difficulties and I'm pretty sure they get them imported from the States, but very expensive. I can imagine.

You wonder if your feet become a burden in terms of you'd be always standing on stuff and standing on people's toes and things like that. Well, I don't know if we're going to beat size 21, Karen. That's really impressive. Tell you what, that's the most popular thing we've ever done, Ben. Oh, this has wowed me.

Tomorrow, other massive body parts. Yesterday, we ended up talking about some of the best jokes to do with the comedy festival being on at the moment. Now, I've had a rich history in pranking. Yeah. And you said, have you ever done that classic prank where you phone someone up and say, is your fridge running? And they say, yes. And then you say you say well you better go and catch it and it's so terrible so terrible

and we hadn't you know i had it i'd never done it so i couldn't believe it you're years and years of calling people up and pestering and annoying people around the country. Ruining lives. Destroying days. You've never done that one. Not even as a kid. I would have thought little Johnny Pryor would have been there, mate, going through the phone book.

So we phoned Jenny Boyce, your mum. My mum. I was like, here's your charts. We had to strike when our prey was the weakest. 10.35am. She didn't see this coming.

This vicious prank. Have a listen. I'm nervous. Hello? Hi, is that Jenny? Yes. Hi, Jenny. It's Grant Walters here.

Yes. We're just doing a community check on refrigerations. Refrigerations? Are you the owner operator of a refrigeration system? Okay, what's the catch? We're just

phoning, it's just a courtesy call to see if your fridge is running, just to check. Yes it is. Well you better go and catch it. Killed it! It wasn't great Mum it was Jono putting on a silly voice there We're just talking about the terrible gag That people would make as a kid

I mean it got a good result I don't know if it was a pity laugh Mum's quite good at laughing at stuff Nice to talk to you now Speaking of fridges You're someone that the fridge is always jam-packed, jam-packed full of stuff. For days and days, you push stuff.

Like for ham from two Christmases ago is probably still in there. No, but probably the cake crumbs. The cake crumbs. Oh, yeah, she saves cake crumbs. She saves, like, broth, fish broth, whatever that is. It's like there's things in there. Like, I go there, and I'm like, I'm getting rid of half the stuff. But yeah, she keeps it all.

When do you eat the cake crumbs, Jenny? Well, you could sprinkle them on ice cream for a dessert. Oh, sprinkle them on ice cream. She's always got an idea for it. And then the other thing as well, there's some things, like your fridge jam pack, but there's other things you're like, well, that doesn't need to be in the fridge because that's got preservatives. So you'll keep stuff out of the fridge, like jams and other things.

I'm like, why are these not in the fridge? You're like, oh, they'll last for ages out of the fridge. Yeah, well, they do. I have to give you a tip because with all these power shortages and things, you've heard about when you put a cup of water in your freezer, freeze it, then stick a coin on top of the frozen ice that you've got made, put it back in the freezer. Now, if you've got a tar cut, then you can check and you're worried about your freezer

has defrosted, maybe been away or something like that. Well, then you go and look at that cup and if the coin has dropped inside the cup, you know your freezer is out of the freezer. Oh, that is actually a really good tip, Jeannie. That's actually a really good hack. She's better living with Jeannie. Okay, good to know. Thank you for making my day fun.

Oh, there we go. It was lovely, lovely to hear from you, and thank you for being pranked. I hope to. Love you guys. All right. See you, Jeannie. Bye. Really good tip there from Jimbo. That's actually a really good tip. pranked I hope you love you guys see you Jenny bye really good tip there from Jimbo

it's actually a really good tip started out as a lowbrow low level crank call but it ended up with some wonderful

home awesome and love and I love you guys that's the hits that's the hits home making advice and tips that's what we love

about the hits gee whiz well we what a spectrum of entertainment. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. I've mentioned a couple of times before, my wife, she's a lot more practical than me.

She's a lot braver than me. But in the weekend, it's been one of those jobs at home. There's a little, we've got a little garden shed outside. And every time I go in there to see Amanda's tools and stuff that she keeps in there, I go, I really should give this place a bit of a clean, a bit of a wipe down. That's maybe the things I can do.

If it's her tool shed, she should be responsible for the cleaning of it too. True, but I'm kind of like, well, that's all I can really do. You stay in the kitchen. I clean, I wipe down. That's kind of my thing. So it's getting a bit moldy. There's spider webs and stuff in there.

So I was like, on the weekend, I'm going to go in there. I'm going to give it a wipe down. You really do forget about the garden shed, don't you shed don't you just leave it out there on its own like a like my parents did when they tried to pretend i wasn't a thing you know totally like you've just hide it away it's like yeah and i don't know why i decided to do this but i was like no i need to do this and just so many cobwebs like just spiders everywhere and one spider at one stage i'm trying to clean them up there and trying to be brave my I'm like, come on, Ben, you can do it. One landed on my arm.

Oh, no. And that shook it off, like, shake it off like a Taylor Swift lyric. And then I finally cleaned it up. There was a lot of spiders everywhere, but I cleaned it all up. But all I could feel for the rest of the day was the fact that I felt like I had spiders crawling on me. Like, I stripped off all my clothes straight away afterwards. They were straight to the wash.

I had a shower. I scrubbed myself. But all I could think of was just like that icky feeling of like, there's spiders. This is why you could never be Spider-Man.

No. And also you couldn't fill out the suit. Definitely not. The other big issue. I told my wife, I was like, hey, I cleaned the shed.

I thought she would be, you know, proud of me. And I was like, hey, but I was a bit scared and a bit frightened by the spiders in there. She's like, just leave that stuff for me. I'll go out there and polish my tools, mate.

Yeah, just leave that sort of stuff for me. Because all I can think of is your friend Robert. He got bitten by a white tail. Three times. Hospitalised three different times. And every spider I see around the house, I'm like, it's a bloody white tail. Everyone step back. I don't even know what a white tail looks like.

Every spider I see I think has got a white tail. I don't know either. They all look like they're bloody white and I feel sorry for them because they're just, spiders are just getting from A to B. Yeah. You know, and many times they're just sitting there on their home, the cobweb. Yeah, they're not doing much really. They're not really trying to, well now again they harm you

but not really that often do they? We're screaming at them, spraying them, trying to squash them. They're like, mate, what am I doing? I'm nothing. I was just sitting here with your wife's tools out the back shed. Very alarmist approach. I was having a fun time, so yeah. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

My friend actually speaking, we're dealing with frosty conditions in his house yesterday. So Sunday night, his partner, she goes out for drinks with her friends. He's left in charge of the kids. So dad's in charge. Dad's in charge of their two kids and also their friend's kid who's out with his wife. All right. Okay.

Ages sort of between six and 10. About 9.30, 9.45 at night. He gets the call. We want to go up to our friend's house, about three or four k's away. He's like, yeah, no, that sounds fine to me. 9.45 on a Sunday night. Oh, three or four k's too.

There's a lot of it. It's a big trip. Yeah, wow. It's like traversing the North Island for our children that age. So 9.45 at night, bearing in mind. So he sends them off. And dads, hey, we are dads,

you always think your kids are a lot more capable of stuff than they say. He's four years old, of course he can fling around a chainsaw. So he sent the kids up the road. He stayed at home, he's enjoying watching TV, relaxing. Sunday night, Ben, winding down. Yeah, enough for enough. He gets

a call. 10.30. This is 45 minutes later. 10. Yeah, fair enough. He gets a call. 10.30. This is 45 minutes later. 10.30, guess who it is? It's his wife. Right. She's like, I've just been driving down the road, home from dinner.

Who do I see wandering the streets? Who do I see wandering the streets? 10.30 at night. Oh, it's our two kids and our friend's kid ages six to ten. So a bit of explaining to you. You see,

it was still in the make good phase of that little portion, that little chapter of their relationship. Still in the make good phase yesterday.

I mean, fortunately, no one was hurt, but it's a big, yeah, huge, huge gamble. In hindsight,

I'm sure people would have done things differently. A few things to work on. If I sound like a sports coach, a few fundamentals. We, I'm sure people would have done things differently. A few things to work on. If I sound like a sports coach, a few fundamentals. We'll come back. We'll regroup next week. We'll become better.

We'll know not to let the kids go wandering the streets at quarter to ten at night. This is what I want to chuck open quickly before the show finishes this morning. Dads asked us. Dads, their decision making sometimes can be a little off. But they learn from those moments. Yeah. And they become better next time. Okay, we won't let the toddler drive the car then.

Maybe it was your dad. Maybe it's your partner. Or maybe you are a dad right now listening and you've had a wee bit of a dad hiccup. Okay. 0800 the hits. 4487 is the text. Dad's Arster's open right now on New Zealand's Breakfast. 855, you're on the hits, John O'Bairn.

Big yellow taxi on your Tuesday morning. Hey, good to have you with us. A friend of mine, he's just dealing with some circumstances that took place on Sunday where he may or may not have let the kids go out for a walk to their friend's house at 9.45 on a Sunday night. And his wife may have been driving home from dinner and found them wandering the streets. Now, I can imagine it was one of those conversations where he didn't really think or didn't hear the details too much.

He was like, can we go to other, you know, like. He's focused on other, he's got his energy on other stuff. I understand that. I had the same, exactly the same thing when my daughter Indy had a sort of bouncy rainbow colored ball. And she was like, can we kick that around and so on? But yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it. And the next thing you know smash she even filmed it i think we put it on that's

breakfast as well on social media where she uh knocked down a frame and it smashed but it's a game of odds isn't it i mean nine times out of ten stuff's gonna be fine i was like it's quite a soft i was like yes yeah go go nuts yeah now there's the no no balls inside policy don't go nuts yeah yeah stop going nuts all right oh 800 the hits dad's policy. Don't go nuts. Yeah, don't go nuts. Stop going nuts. All right, 0800 the hits. Dad's asked us. Catherine, we'll get you on. Welcome.

We understand your dad's asked us, was in a kitchen? Used to have. What did he do? What did he used to make? He used to make Marmite soup. Marmite soup? And that was a good one too. I remember growing up when Mum would go out for dinner

and you're like, oh, okay, this is going to be interesting. What's going to end up on the dinner table here? So Marmite soup for you? Yes. Oh, so what's that? So a little bit of Marmite and I'm guessing hot, like boiled water. Yeah, a spoon of Marmite,

a spoon of water, a spoon of water, and butter, a little bit of butter A little bit of butter Splashing out there, alright we're going to put this in MasterChef Okay A piece of bread Yep And that was dinner

And then a drop of milk, yes and that was dinner Oh a drop of milk, hey Well maybe he's on to something. Marmite soup. Sounds like something my great-grandparents survived on during the war. Yeah, impressive. Catherine, really do appreciate your call. I remember my grandparents actually speaking about what they used to have.

They were like, growing up, they said they'd have Savoy soup. Their parents would have the Savoy's and they'd have the soup. Did you just get the boiling juice? Yeah, I was like, ah. The sausage juice. I think it was hard times. It was hard times. Let's go to Sienna.

She's 11 years old, due for school. We've got to get her in quickly. What was your dad's ask to Sienna? He put my clay bowl I made outside, and it rained, and my clay bowl melted. Oh, and you sound filthy. Oh, no. Yeah. You made that bowl.

I was a bit worried at first, because my daughter's name's Sienna. I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh, my daughter's ringing up. But I'm pleased to know there's another Sienna out there with a dad that's let her down as well. Yeah, listen, it's a major role, Sienna, as you get older, of fathers. And they're just there to let you down. Okay? You try not to.

You try not to. But some of them say, I'm going to the dairy to get some milk, and they don't return then. We'll go to Sandra in Taranaki. What was your dad's ask to Sandra? Hi, how are you? Yeah, we're really well, mate. What happened?

Well, said dad was babysitting said two-year-old child. Didn't really take much notice of what she was up to, so he decided to go off to the toilet for his daily constitutional. And, yes, said child was found by the local constabulary down the road. Dad was a bit surprised when there was a knock on the door, and yeah, he was a policeman standing in with the child. Oh, so the child just decided to head out while he was in the bathroom? Correct, and luckily, she was a well-known child. And so the cop knew who she was.

Well, you might as well say your grasp on the English language is Shakespearean-like. Said child and said this and said that. Couldn't stab her, eh? It's the smartest the show's sounded ever, eh? To be or not to. Well done, Sandra. And now I'm gathering this was your partner. Yes, it was.

Said partner? Was it said partner? Said partner, yes. And was he in a lot of said trouble after that? Yes. I like saying that. It makes me sound smarter. I happened to be at work, and luckily the other children,

there was another three, happened to tell me the story. Oh, well, those said children. And so did the cop, because he knows me well. I love your work, Sandra.