Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Why Was Jono's Real Estate Agent in his Pocket??

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

The awkward accidental facetime! Sean Lyons from Netsafe chats safety with kids and phones  Why do kids love birthdays so much Yellow pillows! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Thursday morning, how's everyone doing this morning? You know, doing fine, doing fine. Losing my voice slowly, but that's, I know for a majority of the audience, that will be a blessing in disguise. How you going? Yeah, not too bad. A bit of rough weather around and Waka Kotahi has said to, you know, to go take it easy, particularly around the Wellington region this morning, Marlborough region. There's a lot of strong winds as well. And I was doing a road trip actually over the weekend with my family in the car driving up north.

And it was a lot of fun. I didn't mind a road trip. But you go through playing on the radio now. The kids are like, we're playing some Taylor Swift, we're playing some Olivia Rodrigo. We kind of went through all that. Are they getting into the Doja Cat? A little bit of Doja Cat as well.

Yeah, they love that new song of Doja Cat. Yeah, she's a devil. Yeah. And then after that, they were like, why don't we put your phone on shuffle? And then if we don't like a song, almost like Simon Cowell, the family could go, nah, and then we can move on.

And I was like, well, a lot of the time you might be going, nah, or there might be some explicit lyrics on a rap song that i might go nah and move on from does the whole car have to agree to go now or is it just one person it's probably general consensus enough like more than 50 people didn't want weren't vibing with something they're like oh cardi b whaps up again let's should we listen to this as a family but there was a couple of songs i honestly didn't remember putting on there And I think there were some songs to do with my dad Because he is a lover of the Eagles

My dad, Kevin Boyce, loves the guitar Loves playing songs A yacht rock Yeah, put him on a yacht with some cab sav And a lovely camembert cheese or something Kevin Boyce would be in his hair And his guitar Yeah, and one of the songs came on

It was Take It Easy from the Eagles And the kids are like, it was Take It Easy from the Eagles. And the kids are like, what is this? I'm like, oh, it's mellow, it's chill, it's the Eagles, Take It Easy.

But I hadn't really listened to the lyrics for a while, you know, because Take It Easy is such a, you know, such a lovely, he's like, he's taking it easy. Nothing is worrying him.

But then at the start of the song, have a listen to what's going on. Seven women on his mind He's trying to loosen his load He's like He's got seven ladies on the go That's not taking it easy That's not If anything

That is not taking it easy No I was like That's a complicated situation Too much when you're played I know And then you start going And we're like What other Eagle songs is that And then I was like Well's a complicated situation Too much when you're played I know And then you start going And we're like

What other Eagle songs is that And then I was like Well Lying Eyes Is another one So obviously he's lying To do the relationship as well I've got six other babes On the go mate

I'm taking it easy And where is he taking those babes Well that's where he's going To the hotel Welcome to the hotel California That's why he's spending A lot of time In the hotel California

I was like Oh my god It all makes sense to me Now the Eagles he's spending a lot of time at the Hotel California. I was like, oh my God, it all makes sense to me now, the Eagles. It's just a catalogue, a series, a trilogy of all his affairs. Yeah, so if you think you've got a lot going on today, spare a thought for the Eagles singer who had seven women on his mind. Well, I don't know if he'd have seven or whatever. Well, he's probably forgotten about those women being sales partners now. Every parent listening right now will know this. He's probably forgotten about those women being sales. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Every parent listening right now will know this.

The excitement for kids' birthdays, they love their birthday, but the countdown to their birthday happens pretty much as soon as one birthday ends, they start the countdown. Now, we've been having a countdown for one of my daughter's birthdays, Sienna, for weeks and weeks now, and every day she'll tell us. Only 82 days to my birthday. I'm like, well, there's 82 more times I need to hear this. I know, and I get the way it works, but last night, again, she was giving me an update on her birthday,

which now is not too far away. How many days to your birthday? 13. There's been a countdown from, like, 97 days. Well, duh. That's under 100. Yeah, that's what I mean. You've been counting down the whole way.

Very exciting. Tomorrow it will be 12 days. I get that. That's how it works. I'm not as excited when it's my birthday. Do you know why? Because you're getting old. Yeah, you're right, actually. Yeah, she's right. She's right. As an adult, and I always explain that, as an

adult, it's not quite as exciting as when you're a kid. The wind goes out of the sails for the old birthday after 30. You know, you've got your 21, you've got your 30 after that it's like geez can we how do we reverse the time here yeah um but it's a long runway like the academy awards at your child's countdown and it's like people are on the you know this they're in the party they're not the party the list of the p the things that they want and every year and i feel like somewhere along the line to the expectations for parents for a lot lot of parents, is to put on,

I don't know if it's other kids and their parties, but parties back in the day, wasn't much to them, was there? You know, mum would put some Cheerios on, maybe some fairy beads. She'd make a cake from the woman's weekly book. Yeah, like there's a trampoline with no safety net around it, just rusty springs. Yeah. You might have to have a tetanus shot afterwards.

Get out there. Hey, do you want some sunscreen? Too bad. Get out there. Yeah, that was a birthday, right? You slobber all over a cake as you blew out the candles. You maybe play pass the parcel if you were lucky. And there was only one winner.

There was only one winner. There weren't the lead in little lolly prizes. No, the lolly prizes. When did that come into it? There was just one clear winner. And then we didn't go home with a goodie bag. When did a goodie bag become a thing? Everyone was like,

oh, you put on this party for everyone and now we're going to give you something else to take home with? Oh, you haven't had a good time? We'll try and win you with this. It's a bag of goods. If you were lucky, if you were lucky,

you got a piece of the train cake wrapped up in like a paper napkin. Yes. And you'd take that home and by the time you got it home, the train cake wrapped up in like a paper napkin. Yes. And you'd take that home. And by the time you got home, the napkin had kind of glued itself to the cake. And you ended up eating paper cake. And it was delicious. I know.

So I feel like somewhere, you know, now all the kids are like, we want to go to this park. We want to do this thing. We want to go to the, you know, like expectations are high. We need to pull it back just a little bit. Yeah. Let's reset it. If we reset it, new birthdays will just start in a blank white room. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Trivial complaints line. My wife, Jennifer, she pulled me aside at home. Said, can I offer you some constructive feedback about the show? She is concerned that I'm always telling every caller that we talk to, love your work. And she said, you can't. It caller that we talk to, love your work. And she said, you can't. It's not actually possible to love everyone's work. Not everyone's work is of a standard that is lovable.

And she said, particularly when we have losers in competitions and things, they don't win. And at the end, I'm like, love your work. And she's like, well, clearly their work hasn't been good enough to award them a prize or anything. So that was a little mini complaint, trivial complaint she had for the show. And so I weighed home to the hits. Yeah, trivial complaints.

This is minor stuff, you know, stuff that's not going to hurt our feelings. It's not like, Jono, your voice sounds like a jackhammer when I've got a migraine. You've got a voice for radio. I've never seen you, but I hope you don't look like your voice because, boy, oh, boy, that stuff hurts our feelings. Yeah, you're right. So we just want little complaints. And someone's not believing us right now. Something that we have every morning. We do every morning and we say

every morning. Now we do five words. Competition where we match five words. 745 and we say we're off to the soundproof booth. So one of us can't hear what's being said. Now Mike's with us from Christchurch. What do you want to say about the soundproof booth? Mike on 0800 The Hits.

Here we go. That's shit, eh? Michael doesn't believe it. I know. Michael, I can see why you don't believe it. It would seem like something we'd make up, but we actually do have a booth in the studio, the soundproof booth.

What's your theory? What do you think we're doing when we send booth in the studio, the soundproof booth. What's your theory? What do you think we're doing when we send one of us off to the soundproof booth? I 100% reckon that you're just taking off your headphones and maybe walking through a door, I'm not sure but yeah, I'd say that's as far as you guys would go. I don't think you'd build a booth as such. Now Ben, I don't know how else we can prove this apart from photographic evidence. Well you need to put some, let's put a photo up on the Hits Instagram story right now for anyone else that's sceptical of it.

It's like a little meeting booth that you can get, you can hire them for offices for private conversations or working away. There's not a lot of room in there. You could have an affair in there, couldn't you? Yeah, there is a big glass window, so I mean. It'd be an open affair. Yeah, it would be, right. Right, okay.

I'm starting to believe but yeah i definitely need photo evidence he wants phone michael michael's demanding photographic evidence uh i i hey listen i'll be the first to admit there was a wonderful grace period there of you know decades where radio could get away with absolutely bullcrapping the audience yes you know you could get away with it for years. You could say anything. Yeah. But not nowadays. People want hard evidence. They're not believing you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Well, listen, we appreciate you complaining. Yeah, we do. We take it on board. And we hope, how do you think we resolved the matter? Do you feel satisfied as a customer? Well, probably not because we haven't given you the photo, right? Yeah, we definitely need a photo. We need a photo online.

And it's not just a Photoshop photo. You know, it's got to have the hits in the background there or something like that. Should we hold up today's paper with the date on it? Yeah, that would be sufficient. There we go. And then we'll have a satisfied customer. Perfect, mate. Appreciate it.

Love your work, Michael. See you, buddy. Catch you. Bye. We'll put that photo that we're going to take in just a minute on the hits Instagram, the hits breakfast story. Dear God, did I just say love your work again a minute on the Hits Instagram, the Hits Breakfast story. Dear God, did I just say love your work again to mine? I think you did, actually.

Yeah. I think you did. Oh, God. Well, no. Or you complained about something. So, clearly. Anyway. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

From Netsafe is Sean Lyons. Good morning. How are you? I'm good, mate. How are you? Yeah, good. Lovely to have you on from Netsafe. And you've teamed up with Two Degrees for First Phones,

a bit of an educational tool for parents and how they can teach the kids to use their phones safely, Sean. Absolutely. Look, it's an important moment, First Phones, and we know that lots of parents are giving phones out often because they're worried about physical safety, where the kid is, why they didn't come home from school when they said they were going to, but at the same time we know they're really worried about what it is that kids might experience on those

phones. So making sure everybody knows what the situation is, where people can get help, how they look after themselves is really important when you hand out that first advice. It's tricky, isn't it? As parents you do, you want them to have a phone so you can contact them, that gives it a little bit more security, but at the same time, all those things that they could potentially see online. And the kids are smart.

They don't want the old phones that we used to have that could maybe play Snake and that was about it. No, look, absolutely. And we know that nobody gives out phones and says, you know, I'm a parent, here you go, I want you to become a TikTok superstar. What they are saying is, I want you to have this so that I can feel more secure about you. But a part of that security for parents has got to be what is tiktok what happens on tiktok what do you do if something goes wrong and and having those conversations and having some rules i know

that makes me sound like a really old person but then i am so um having those rules are really important but rules that that both parents and kids agree they've got to be practical they've got to be realistic. And the most important start of that is having a conversation around it. And that's what the First Phones Project really helps parents and young people to do. Mind you, if you do, can I put a clause in there too? If you do become a TikTok superstar, I'm getting 15% of all your earnings. That seems fair enough, right?

Yeah, that's fair enough. So Two Degrees have got like a special box that parents can get for free at the moment. So which inside has got things like advice and things to sort of talk through and a bit of a contract that you could potentially sign with your kids. Yeah absolutely, there's a really important part you know because we know a lot of first phones are not brand new phones, we know a lot of them are handed down and hopefully it's not the snake playing device that you talked about but there's an envelope, a box in there that allows that whole kind of experience to be,

this is your new phone. And it's not just a fancy snazzy thing. It's also about saying how important this point is. So that contract is in there. Some of those rules are in there. The kind of the things, the good and the bad things that you can and can't do. And there's even room on that contract

to add your 15% clause there. Oh, fantastic. Now I was going to say, we never had this trouble with two cups and 30 metres of string, did we, as a communication device? We actually had this conversation with our daughter on the weekend because there was like a replay of Patrick Gower's story on teens, young kids sending nudes to their friends, sort of getting coaxed in by their friends to send nudes,

and then that being used as a blackmail device against them. Oh, and that really is, the one protection against that is not to create those images, but then we also need to leave room for the situations where somebody does, and then it comes back to bite them later. That's when parents can kick in. There are tools out there that can help get those images off lots of platforms. But often young people, when they're in that situation, they're paralysed by the threat and the fear that that threat creates. And that's when they need to be able to come out of that kind of shell

because they've had that conversation and say, I need to talk to mum, my uncle, my aunt, whoever it is, older siblings, whoever that nominated sort of person is, and be able to say to them, don't shout at me. Don't be mad at me. Let's just, can we deal, this thing has happened, can we deal with that? We can do the analysis, the post-mortem stuff afterwards, but right in the moment they need help and that's what adults are there to provide and that's what this initiative's really all

about. There's a good way, I think most people, I mean the idea of telling someone something so embarrassing like that, the prospect of it's far worse than the actual reality. Most people would understand and go, hey, we all screw up. Where to next? Yeah, but the shame that is on people in that moment, I think when you add on the top that somebody is, in those situations, someone's blackmailing, someone's saying, I'm going to do this, I want money.

It's almost like being wrapped up in something from a movie, but it's really frightening. And people will do anything at that moment to avoid what is being threatened. And like you said, most people will just respond with, hey, these things happened and I've got your back. We need to make sure that we have those conversations, that that is what we're going to do ahead of time. That's a really great thing you're doing, NetSafe. First Phones initiative teaming up with Two Degrees.

You can get that free Two Degrees box take home to work through with your kids if you're thinking about giving them their first phone or maybe they've even got their first phones and you need to kind of get them into contract formed and sign them up. Sean, thank you so much for your time this morning. My pleasure. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast.

Hello. Hello, Jono. How are you? And it's my pants My pants are talking to me And I'm like that's unusual My pants don't, generally don't talk to me It'd be nice if they did

But keep it up mate, keep walking Keep using your legs sort of thing Pulled my phone out And committed one of the worst crimes You can do with a cell phone, is FaceTiming someone. Oh, you video called someone. I FaceTimed someone somehow with my thighs and the movement and the rubbing of the phone.

It always impresses me how that happens. I get it when your phone's not turned off properly, that stuff can happen. But what it does, sometimes you're like, how did it get there? There's probably six or seven steps before you end up Face facetiming someone and it was contacts list choosing a contact anyway yeah and i've received facetime calls before and as the receiver of a facetime you're like this is throwing me like who fake i don't want to see anyone's face you know you always get suspicious of why someone's facetiming you don't you yeah no it's normally uh you know normally it's used for you know parents

catching up with family members maybe occasionally someone might do it at a concert that someone will facetime someone basically to brag to brag but you're right it's not normally generally done uh it's generally an accident isn't it facetiming by the uh the population but uh i had facetimed a real estate agent that we had to deal with in the past years and years ago you're right hello how are you how's it going and it's a real estate agent they smell blood anytime they get a call normal call facetime oh great this person wants a house they want to sell a house what do you want to do geez the conversation and so i'm weirdly walking down the footpath talking to a real estate agent oh yeah i don't really what can be bothered talking to oh i'm like oh how's the property

market going oh Oh, people are getting confidence again after the election. Got the whole spectrum. So there we go. FaceTime. Just keep it for Zoom. If you want to see your face, do it on Zoom. Microsoft Teams. Yeah, maybe phones shouldn't have that option. Maybe we can get rid of them. Yeah, one day we'll all be like, oh

man, one day we'll be able to see each other's faces when we're talking to each other on the phone. I love pacing, so I get really annoyed when it's FaceTime because that kind of grounds me to a spot. Because then people can see what you're doing. I'd just rather be folding, washing, but half listening and things like that. Yep, yep, yep. Oh, that's good to hear. I just told you my wife left me.

Oh, yeah, great stuff. Oh, that's good stuff. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We spoke to Emily yesterday, who's got a Rugby World Cup All Black Champions trophy tattoo on herself already, and the final hasn't even been played. I texted my dad and I told him that if we won the World Cup, then I'd get a tattoo. And then I was talking to my friend James about it,

and he said that it would just be a lot funnier if I got it before as like a bit of a predictor. James, you shouldn't listen to James, that's your problem. Although James is right, it is a lot funnier. It is a lot funnier. We wouldn't be talking now if it wasn't for James, now would we? Did he go along with you to the

Taru Parlour? No, he didn't because I just went in talking about it and he just told me that he could do it right then so I figured it was probably better to get it over and done with. And they're like, alright, we'll do it now before you change your mind uh so you've got this and hey we we played well against argentina last weekend how are you feeling right now heading into the final this weekend i'm a bit nervous but it will be fine like i'm sure we'll win if yeah we'll win definitely no one has more writing on this game than you and ian. Dare I say I've got more writing on it than he does.

Yeah true. So that was Emily who's got the Rugby World Cup, one is for New Zealand tattooed on herself. So we want to know, what's a regrettable tattoo? Maybe you'd like to have it removed. Because Sacred Laser, New Zealand's number one removal specialist, you can get them at sacredlaser on Instagram. They've got a clinic in Auckland

They've got a clinic in Christchurch They're offering us They've got to give away One tattoo removal session Valued around $400 to $500 Which is pretty awesome I've actually been and got tattoos From Sacred Laser

And also got some removed Not the same ones I got there But from someone else gave me At the same place From the removal They're great One stop shop Get one, get it removed

Go back, get another one. They are amazing at giving tattoos and also taking them off. My body, you look at my body and you think it's just one giant regrettable tattoo decision, don't you? But it tells a story, Ben. Like the panther on my back with wings. It's just a lovely reminder that, you know, one day panthers might fly.

That's true. Yeah. There's a boat on my guts. It looks like the Endeavour. It does look like the Endeavour. And that serves as a great reminder that boats, they're not meant to sail on guts. They're meant to be on the ocean. Let's get Rylan on from New Plymouth.

You want to nominate your mum for this laser removal? Yes, I do. What's your mum got? She's got a tattoo of woodstock from peanuts on her wrist. Oh, is that the bird? Was that the? Yeah. Yeah, the yellow bird.

If you know that it was Snoopy and Charlie Brown and stuff. If you're going to pull anything out of that comic book series, the bird would probably be a bit far down the list, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. So now she'd like that gone? Yeah, she would. Okay. I don't blame her. She's in the draw? She's in the draw. Hey, we've all got

tattoo decisions that we, well, most of us have, but you and Jono and I have, definitely, stuff that we'd like removed. She's in the draw. She's in the draw. Hey, we've all got tattoo decisions that we, well, most of us have, but you and Jono and I have definitely, stuff that we'd like removed. So thanks for your call. Hey, Paula, to Tahi Bay. Yo. This is a homemade job. Homemade job, yes.

On the school bus 30 years ago, two crosses, and they're actually upside down. Because they said bend over, standing up, doing that. Oh, you actually upside down because they said Ben's over standing up doing that. Oh, you did upside down crosses because you were bending down and the angle was, yeah. Oh, jeez. So how was, dare I say it, how was the tattoo

given? With a needle and some Indian ink, I think they called it. Oh, jeez. Oh, yeah. Just ink nowadays, isn't it? The racists call it Indian ink, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, jeez. Oh, yeah. Just ink nowadays, isn't it? A bit racist to call it Indian ink, isn't it? Nothing quite like a school bus tattoo. The bus was moving, obviously, as this was happening. And with the cool kids on the back seat, you know,

no one messes with us. No better conditions to give yourself a tattoo. Well, listen, Paula, we're going to put you in the drawer. And if you're listening, you think you might have something worse, you can head along to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook, thanks to sacred laser removal, and tattooist, you could win. Head along to the Hits Breakfast on Facebook page, post up the photo of it.

Yeah, we'll keep this coming through as well. 4487 on the tech. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, Producer Taylor, been in New Zealand for just over a year from Australia, and we want to make you a Kiwi, and we're working on some things you need to do to really fit in here, right? Yeah, it's been fun. You watched an hour and a half of Lord of the Rings.

We said you needed to watch the entire series, including The Hobbit. You couldn't force yourself to do it. You said everyone looked like they hadn't had a shower, and there was some weird guy called Gotham or something. Yeah, yeah, and the guy from Harry Potter, which was cool. None of which is true. She said, the Gotham apparently looked like me, the bald guy with the hunchback.

Yeah, so that failed. That failed. That attempt to make you more Kiwi failed. So we had another suggestion come through yesterday that you needed to learn the iconic McDonald's Kiwi Burger song, the OG one. You know this one? Kiwis love hot pools, rugby mcdonald's snapper schools

world peace woolly fleece ronald and raising beasts chili bins cricket wins fast keys gold tea silver ferns carry trees kiwi burger love one please it was you know the murray huckaaka before the pronunciation. We factored that into our day-to-day. But that was the original song. And you had a bit of a game that every item Taylor can remember from the McDonald's Kiwi Burger song. We give away a dollar to someone.

Which was 56 Australian cents, I think, at the moment. Yeah. So there's a chance for you to win some money based on how many words you can remember from the song. There's a lot of words happening quite quickly. Yeah. So you don't want the music right now because that's going to throw you off.

But all morning without a word of a lie you've been walking around mumbling to yourself. Yeah, because I felt bad about the Lord of the Rings thing. So I was like, I've got to give at least this a good crack, you know? Well, if you want to be accepted. Yeah, and I do. This is actually going to be part of the official immigration process.

So what do you want to do? Do you want to list out a Kiwi Vegas song, walk around for a week and be a feat? Do you want to watch Lord of the Rings movies? You've got options. Yeah, okay. So here we go. So we'll just play some drones and we'll see how many you can list off. Okay.

You can take your time if you want. Let's see. Here list off. Okay. You can take your time if you want. Let's see what we got. Okay. Kiwis love hot pools, rugby balls. Oh, my God. I've gone blank already. Hot pools, rugby balls. Yes.

Oh, no. No. Snapper school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After McDonald's. Yeah, McDonald's. Yeah, okay. World Peace, Wooly Fleece.

Ronald and Raising Beats. Yes. Cricket Wins, Chili Bins, Silver Ferns. Yep. You've skipped over a couple, but that's okay. Fast Geese, Golf Tees, Silver Ferns, Cody Trees. Kimi Berger, Love One Plays. All Blacks, Thermal Dax. She's doing well. um, Cody trees. Um, can we bring a love one, please?

All blacks, thermal Dax. Um, she's got her egg and cheese, egg and cheese, netball teas or something. Um, lettuce, lettuce is in there somewhere.

Lettuce and tomato is definitely in there somewhere. Buns. She's always eating buns. Power shells. You've got, you've definitely in there somewhere. Buns. She's never seen buns. Power shells. You've got, yeah, that's the final. Walking track. Okay, so gumboots, ponga shoots. Can you get this?

Ponga shoots. Floppy hats and kiwi fruits. Kiwi fruit. Oh, no, you're just repeating that. You're just saying what I'm saying. You're just pretending you've come up with it. You're just saying exactly what he just said. All black.

Did I say all black? Yeah, I think it might be about $20 to give away. 4487 on the text. You're just pretending you've come up with it, but you just say exactly what he just said. All right. You guys have all black? Yeah. Oh, well done. I think it may have been about $20 to give away. 4,487 on the text. Yeah, but that's very generous, $20. You did well-ish. Well, I gave it a crack.

Honestly, it's hard to remember stuff at 5 a.m. Now tomorrow, we've got something very special planned. Oh, yep. Have you heard of the All Blacks? Well, you have. You just sung about them. It involves the Rugby World Cup final and some degrading on-the-street radio promotional banter.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Most partners of men will sympathise with this. They are celebrating their yellow pillows, their yellow stains that sort of end up... Producer Taylor, you can come on in, she's nodding her head, the yellow stains that mysteriously end up on white pillows.

Now this isn't on top of the pillowcase, this is on the actual pillow, under the pillowcase. Over a number of years, what I can only imagine is sweat, skin. I know how that happens, yeah. It slowly deteriorates the pillow

with a yellow hue over the top of it. Have you seen this on Marcello's pillow? Not Marcello's, but my dad and brother's. It is feral. And you can just see the stains that have been formed from saliva that seeped through the pillowcase. Is that what it is?

That's what it is. Slippery saliva. And sweat. And then, look, I'm not going not gonna lie mine's not nice because i wear fake tan all the time so mix that with saliva and it's honestly every time jen my wife puts on fake tan it's like i've been sleeping with an oompa loompa it is the every night you have to wash all the sheets of brown yeah marcello makes me put a towel down now and i sleep on the towel because so then it doesn't transfer onto the sheets.

Gosh, yeah. But it smells like coconut. So are men celebrating? Rather than saying it's time to change the pillow, to get a new pillow, they're saying, is this one of those articles? Who's celebrating this? Oh, one guy.

Okay, this is one guy celebrating. It was the other day. It was like all the guys are thinking about the Roman Empire. Yeah. Do you guys actually think about that? No. I went to Rome. I did think about the Roman Empire window going through Rome and

learns about the bits and maybe watching gladiator with Russell Crowe but apart from that I was like something like 85% of men constantly think about it and they've got the female version which is so accurate thinking about your ex best friend that's what women think about constantly. That's our Roman Empire. I don't even have an ex-best friend. I've got a current best friend. Here's a shocking fact about pillows I've just pulled up.

Yeah? 15% of a pillow's weight is built up of sweat, mould, dead skin cells, dust mites, feces. I don't need that. Apparently you need to wash your pillow every six months. Oh, the actual pillow? The actual pillow. Oh, I'm not doing that.

I've never washed a pillow. But you know, putting it into the washing machine doesn't seem like it'll go that well afterwards, right? Maybe putting it outside, getting some sunshine on it or something? Yeah. All right, there's a cherry thought for your Thursday morning.