Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Show Highlights: Would You Eat A Dessert Served In a Toilet Bowl..

Episode Date: August 27, 2023

The best game of news or not yet! Motivational Monday Dodgy home remedies... We took a listener to the Warriors! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. Big weekend of sport again. The All Blacks had a record loss to the Springboks over the weekend. I'm sure we're all taking that level-headedly. Maybe it's for the best, I reckon. Maybe heading into the World Cup, maybe it's a good thing. You don't want to go in too cocky, do you? Or maybe it's a game plan too from the All Blacks. Throw the game. Chuck world rugby into disarray.

They won't factor us in at the tournament. Well, Fiji also beat England as well, which was pretty big. They're taking a leaf out of the same book, the English. Also on the weekend, the Warriors had their seventh win in a row. And actually, we went along to the Warriors game Friday night. Now, you'd noticed at your local Wendy's fast food outlet that's around the country that there was a guy

that worked pretty much every Warriors game. He's always in Warriors gear. Yeah, Steve's his name. Yeah. And it's probably a blemish on how many times I go to Wendy's. Steve now, he just knows my order as I pull up to the drive-thru speaker. He's like, five large fries mushroom out and yeah, don't even have to talk.

But we surprised him during a shift on Friday night, didn't we? And we took him along to the Warriors. Yeah, we'd organized it behind the scenes with Wendy's, and it was awesome. They covered his shift, and they said, he's been working there for 19 years at Wendy's. He's a legend. A legend. We all started crying in the Wendy's. I know.

Steve started crying and it set us off. We took him along. It was a lot for Steve to take on board. We'd just come in there with the cameras and we're like, hey, mate, we want to take you to the Warriors. We know you're a big fan. And yeah, it was a lot for him to take on board. We'd have cameras in his face.

We're like, get in the car with us. But he started crying and we started crying. It was actually really emotional. Can you remember the last time you were crying in a Wendy's bed it's about 3.30am it usually is

so we went along and even managed someone out of the goodness of their heart here from work gave us some to take them along to a corporate box

as well which was awesome we're going to chuck that video up on social today it felt good to do something nice for once

you see why Alan did it for so many years, because it could excuse all the terrible things she was doing behind the scenes. It's a great play, isn't it? It was lovely, actually. We took him along and got him to meet one of his favourite Warriors player, Adam Blair. It's a great atmosphere at the Warriors,

and I love how everyone's just embraced the up the wars. Up the wars is the catchphrase for the Warriors and we recorded it after the game where people started yelling it. We're just walking past and people started yelling it and then they're yelling it from cars and it just almost... It sets off a chain of events, doesn't it?

It's like a ripple effect. As soon as you chuck one up the waz out, that all kind of echoes around the place. Have a listen. Okay, we're outside of the Warriors. Up the waz! Up the waz! Up the waz! Up the waz warriors there's a lot of up the wasps things are gridlocked right now up the wasps lots of up the wasps and it kind of travels down the line of traffic yeah into the distance yeah and uh after the game uh

obviously all the players they kind of go around the field and signing signatures, having photos with kids and stuff. We thought it'd be kind of cool to take Steve along and get him to get a couple of photos with some of the players. Yeah, and there was a wonderful lady next to us who was trying to get Dallin's attention. Friend of Producer Taylor's, Casey is her name, and she helped us out with Dallin Watani-Seliskak, who's the winger for the Warriors

you know with the flowing mullet he was probably 15-20 metres away from us and we were like hey we want to try and get his attention she's like I'll get him for you she's like I know him I know him we've hung out together

and this is her yelling at him it's nothing around here okay Casey what's going on Casey I'm really trying to get Dallin let's go one two three DALLIN

do you know Dallin quite well okay go. One, two, three. Dallin! Do you know Dallin? Quite well, I think. He's not turning around. It's quite rude, actually, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. No, he is. I'm straightening my voice. Honestly, if we keep shouting his name, he's definitely going to come over.

At least turn around. We're not asking for much. He was definitely blanking us out. We just had his name on repeat shouting it across. Go media stadium. But yeah, we'll put up that video with Steve later on today on the Hits Breakfast. Very emotional. It was very emotional.

Thanks to the Warriors. Thank you for Wendy's for helping us make it all happen. It was a really cool thing to be part of. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Over the weekend, you know, I suffer migraines. You know, you get kind of the blurry eyes and then a pounding headache ensues afterwards. And tried multiple things. Give an acupuncture a blast in the past.

Eating during the day? No, I've tried eating during the day. No, that wasn't. I'll try that one next. That's my theory. Yeah, but it does sound pretty horrible. Tried to have, you know, a set of six Heinekens, seven Heinekens. Oh, yeah, that could work as well.

See if that would ease the pain. But then I looked online and there was what I thought was maybe a controversial method to relieving the pain of a migraine. And what you do is you get a pair of pantyhose and you put the pantyhose over your head. So you look like a bank robber from the 90s. Yeah, you do, yeah. And this apparently applies because the pantyhose is so tight. Right.

They apply pressure onto your head and relieves the pain of the migraine. So fully over your face, not just like a hat, sort of like a wrap? Well, I mean, it's over to you how much percentage of your face you want to cover up with pantyhose. I'll leave that in your court. Yeah.

And I almost gave it a go and I was like, this is ludicrous. I'm rifling through Jennifer's pantyhose drawer here. If she walks in, she's going to be questions asked. It's full of migraines,

it's full of migraines. You have to fumble around Google. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, the article was here Yeah But yeah I then clicked on Other side ones

Because you know how it's like Once you click on one of those It's other suggested things You may like Which you've fallen into The trap of previously Haven't you Yes I have

You bought some You bought us a Morph suit From a website And then all of a sudden It was suggested Very Very Erotic Products Yeah All sorts of tassels You bought us a morph suit from a website, and then all of a sudden it was suggested very erotic products.

Yeah, all sorts of tassels and all sorts of like – Cat suits. Crotchless and things like that, other things you may like. I'm like, no, none of these things. I just wanted a comical morph suit for none of this other stuff. Publicly, I wouldn't like it. But then, yeah, there was like kind of articles on other home remedies, which I thought were quite interesting as well.

Lavender. Apparently if you have lavender every day, it'll reduce your anxiety. Calves and earth. It also makes your house smell like an old person's house too, lavender. Right. Here's a beauty. Stinging nettle. Put stinging nettle in a cup of boiling water.

Helps with hair loss. Even grows back your hair. Really? Pay full respects to everyone in history who's figured this stuff out. There's some bald legend just trying every plant, every piece of spice and turmeric to see if it grew hair back. And we probably lost many good people along the way, but resulted in stinging nettles.

So this is what we want to open up this morning. Home remedies. Yeah. What have you got? Have you got any? Well, nothing. It can beat that. That's why we'd love to throw it out there right now for you.

Are you doing any home remedies when it comes to beauty and things that have worked or maybe haven't worked over the years? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Great text here, 4487. Guys, you know when you get warts, you can actually remove warts with duct tape. You don't even have to buy a wartner or anything. You put duct tape on for two weeks. Then you can peel the duct tape off, rub the wart with a pumice stone,

and it'll disappear. Really? All you have to do is wander out for 14 days with people telling you you've got duct tape on your face. Yeah. But that'll get rid of the wart. Oh, okay.

Or you could just buy some wartner and freeze it off, and it'll be gone in 24 hours. Dry ice, wasn't it? The doctor put it on your hands and stuff. We got, yeah. Yeah. Were you a warty teenager? No, one on the hands. Never face. We used to face. I was like, je No, wine on the hands Never face

We used to have face I was like, jeez Do people have face? Yeah, I know I did that for Germanic effect I was like, jeez I've never seen a wart on my face

You're the wicked witch of the west Great text here 4487 Raw potatoes, guys Cut those in half If you get an insect bite Or an itchy bite Rub potato on it

Instant relief Oh, potatoes Yeah Okay Let's go to the phone, shall we? An insect bite or an itchy bite, rub potato on it, instant relief. Oh, potatoes. Yeah. Okay. Let's go to the phone, shall we? On 0800THETHISMORNING, we are talking home remedies. Shaz, welcome.

Hi. Home remedies. What have you got? Well, many, many years ago, my son had a huge breakout of pimples on his face, like really, really bad. And one morning, he'd come running down, you know, holding his crutch saying, mum, mum, mum, I need a bowl. I said, what do you need a bowl for?

And he said, I've got a piddle in the bowl because my piddle, first morning piddle, I've got to put on my face. And he said it will get rid of my zits. He did that every morning for months or more. What bowl were you using there, Shaz? One bowl, Just a normal stainless steel kitchen bowl. Okay, I mean that just stayed out of the kitchen after that, but yeah. Pulled that from

circulation. Okay, so what's the theory behind rubbing that oil over your face? I don't know if it was a Japanese or Chinese tail or he had heard it from his mates at school. He was the only one doing it.

I think quite a few of his mates were doing it. Well, I hadn't heard that one. Never take advice from mates at school. That was so funny. I'm going to have a Google now. As for your own being acidic and drying up pimples, it's not entirely accurate. Oh, not entirely. If that were the case, then vinegar would be a fabulous acne treatment.

Oh, that would be a nicer alternative, wouldn't it? And it's not. Well, you've either got a face smelling of vinegar or a face smelling of... But urine is a very weak acid, so nothing about it could dry a pimple. So all your son did for how many months? A month or more. Yeah, it was just for four weeks. He ate his own pimples. Yeah, it was just for four weeks. He had his own pillow.

Oh, so good. I hope he's not listening to this. Hey, we all did it. We all did it through that stage of things. I mean, I didn't

go that, but we all did. Tried stuff? Yeah, tried stuff. Because you've got to be like, surely there is a solution. Yeah, exactly.

A quick fix. I think somebody gets desperate and they'll try anything. Yeah, exactly. Well, clearly. Thank you somebody gets desperate and they'll try anything. Yeah, exactly. Well, clearly. Thank you very much, Chas. Have a good day, guys.

We surprised someone to take them to the Warriors game and it was actually very emotional. We'll talk more about that after 8 o'clock. Yeah, it went along Friday night. It was fun. Up the wires. Everyone's saying up the wires now and it's great when you're in that environment in particular

because you do one up the Waz, and it's got a ripple effect, doesn't it? It goes across the crowd, and there was gridlocked traffic after the game Friday night. Ben, we were walking home, and we unloaded one, didn't we? We fired a shot. Shots were fired. Okay, we're outside of the Warriors.

Up the Waz! Up the Waz! Up the Waz Warriors Up the Warriors Up the Warriors Up the Warriors Up the Warriors Up the Warriors It's a lot of Up the Warriors Things are good

Like right now Up the Warriors It just keeps going You're right One to the next And then Oh someone said Up the Warriors

I'm in a set It just sets a chain Reaction going off So it was wonderful Great Fantastic atmosphere there It was awesome It's so good to see

The Warriors winning Seven in a row now. And as I said before, we surprised someone after seven o'clock with something pretty special. But someone else also had a very special night. Now, Producer Taylor. Come on now, official wag, Producer Taylor. Wife and or girlfriend of one of the players, Marcelo.

Now, you gave us a warning Friday afternoon. You're like, now, you're not going to recognise me at the Warriors. Marcelo, now you gave us a warning Friday afternoon. You're like, now you're not going to recognise me at the Warriors. Yeah, yeah. Because the person I bring here, Monday to Friday, 5am each day, is a lot different to the person I am on a Friday night at his game. And so yeah,

what were your guys' thoughts? Were you shocked? We, I didn't think you turned up. There's a whole other lady there. There's a whole other lady. And I'm like, where's that lady Monday to Friday? Chucked a bit of lippy on, slammed a bit of founding. I had fake tan, I had eyelashes, I had the whole kit and caboodle. Where's that commitment at four and five in the morning? You know?

Yeah, and look at me now. Back to normal. Oh, no, it's very funny. And you took producer Joel, who is borderline psychotic about the Warriors. Like all he does in between songs is just look at vintage Warriors jerseys that he can buy online.

And rugby league highlights. And rugby league highlights. He's like, oh, look at this highlight. Look at this tackle, look at this tackle. It was late, but look at it. You took him to gamble. You took him to the Wags box. So my dad was meant to come from Aussie.

So I got us two tickets, but he was sick, poor thing, so he pulled out last minute. And Joel was in the room when I got that information. So as soon as I said, oh, dad's not coming, he goes, does that mean you've got a spare ticket? And I was like, oh, yeah. So I took him along. How did you love it?

You must have been in your element. Yeah, I think a few people thought I was like a make-a-wish kid in there with Taylor. Well, because it was just you and the wags, right? Just me and the wags, rubbing shoulders. Sean Johnson's wife was in there. Oh, yeah, all the players' wives and girlfriends. There must have been a moment at the night you're like, I regret taking this guy in here.

I was playing it cool. The seventh beer, I was like, this is going to probably go. And then afterwards, he got into the changing sheets, got into the office area as well. We're having photos with Stacey Jones and other legendary warriors, the coach, Marcelo, of course, as Montoya was there. And my favourite part of the night was to exit out of the shed, you kind of need to go through the office.

So we're going through the office. We've already been waiting two and a half hours for Marcelo to get his stuff together. We get to the office. We're about to leave. And Joel decides, let's give Marcelo a history on every single Warriors jersey hanging up. Oh, dear God.

You got let into the administration area. I was going to say, I might have to steal one of these jerseys. I didn't. I didn't. Oh, listen. You better not have. It was tempting.

There might be, definitely probably a cease and desist order. Keep a K away from the stadium now, Joel Harrison. Well, good on you for doing that. You would have made his year. It's my good deed. It must have been one of the highlights of your life. A hundred percent. Yeah, I was in there.

Roger Tuivasa, Sheik, Stacey Jones. It was too much. I played it way too cool. Now, you made some wild claims just three minutes ago, Ben, that you're going to make us feel good. Yeah. That were your claims. How are you going to make us feel good?

Last week of winter. Well, that makes me feel good. Last week of winter. That makes me feel good. Yeah week of winter. That makes me feel good. Yeah, I read that this morning. It's the last, according to meteorologist, I can never say that word properly, but according to the weather,

it's the last week of winter, the officially last week of weather, which is awesome. That's why you could never be a meteorologist. Because you can't even say the profession. It's easy to say radio. Oh, that's last week. It feels like we've been in the trenches with winter.

Yeah, little glimpses of sunshine, pockets from time to time throughout the country. Maybe because summer wasn't as fruitful as we all had hoped as well. So it's probably felt like seven or eight months of nonstop winter. Yeah. So we're heading into spring as of next week. I mean, it's slow. It's not like we're really ramping it up from zero to 100 weather-wise,

but at least we're turning a corner. So that's good. That's the motivation for Monday. You've got something for us. Yeah, I do. Rick Rubin. He's a very famous music producer, Rick Rubin. He looks somewhat homeless and disheveled, very long, grey beard,

kind of losing hair on top, but he's rocking the long side hair, which I appreciate as well. Maybe I could do a Rick Rubin. You could. But you'll know Rick Rubin. He's on the Jay- hair, which I appreciate as well. Maybe I could do a Rick Rubin. But you'll know Rick Rubin. He's on the Jay-Z 99 Problems song. And he's like, you're crazy for this one, Rick. That's Rick Rubin. Well, he is very in touch with his feelings.

And this is a message from Rick Rubin about how we should all be listening to our bodies. There are levels of wisdom that we don't know. We don't understand. So when you have an intuition to take the stairs instead of the elevator, or I always go home this way, but today, for some reason, I feel like going this other way. Maybe I'm going to cross street and walk on that side of the street. Whatever it is, whatever little intuitions in your body that come, listen to them, see see what happens be open to there's more going on than we know there's a lot more than our conscious mind can can pick up going on good message isn't it listen to your instincts it's always fun it hard to decipher

between instincts and indigestion as well. But if your gut is telling you something, maybe you should be off doing it. Yeah, that's a good motivation. It's kind of like your bloody toaster theory, isn't it? Oh, yeah. The burnt toast. The burnt toast theory that if you, we were talking about it last week,

it became a thing on TikTok. If your toast burns in the morning, normally you get frustrated. Something's delaying you, but maybe that's the universe's sign of stopping you from doing something. Maybe you were going to run into someone, maybe you were going to have a car accident, whatever it was, that burnt toast stopped you from doing that thing. Listen to your body.

My body's like, stop drinking Heineken. No, just plough on. Stop having takeaways for the fifth time this week. I probably should listen to that body. There we go, that's your Motivational Monday. We're an in-touch radio show. It's news or not. It's too early on a Monday morning to play this game.

I won't lie. But if you'd like to win a hell pizza, you can try and decipher which of these headlines is not news. 0800, the hits. Over to you, Producer Taylor. Let's hear the three headlines and then we can delve deep. All right, first one. Restaurant blasted for serving chocolate dessert in toilet bowl.

Number two. Couple desperate for baby find out they are having intercourse the wrong way for over four years. Turns out wife is still a virgin. Sorry. Oh, okay. Number three.

World first hot dog and burger ATM opens in Malaysia. What? World first hot dog and burger ATM opens in Malaysia. Hot dog and burger ATM. Okay, let's go back to the second one.

Which do you think is not the news story? So one of them was made up by Patricia Taylor. Four years! When does the penny drop and you're like... Yeah. Was it happening the way we were all assuming it was happening? I think so. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, I feel like that could happen. Especially if you've got couples who are saving themselves for marriage and they're on debut. Yeah, for four years. Four years. I guess this is how this is. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so we're going to say that's a legit story? Jeez, some people go through their whole life wanting to do that. They have four years worth. Just once. Four years non-stop. So we say that's legit, are we? Is that what you're saying? I think that's legit.

Okay, so then we've got the two other options we're thinking could be made up. One, the toilet bowl, and the other one was lost. The hamburger ATM. That's right. I'm going to say hamburger ATM. It could be a thing. The first one. What restaurant's going to serve chocolate dessert in a giant toilet bowl?

No matter how clean it is, if it's a brand new thing, I just, yeah, okay. Just purely for the inconvenience of having a whacking great toilet bowl on the table. Okay. They're not small. Yeah. Okay, that's the one I'm going to pick as the false one this morning. On the text machine, we have Sarah texting through. She is saying number two is the false story. Yeah, producer Taylor.

So the false story is actually... Please don't tell me you made up the middle. Otherwise, that's on you it's the hot dog and burger atm which is surprising hey because there are some interesting atms out there you bamboozled us so yeah no in the world of tiktok restaurants will do anything these days to get a bit of a pr stint so that's a true thing the toilet bowl dessert you just stand up and eat it wouldn't you in the toilet bowl yeah because if it's, the toilet bowl dessert. You'd just stand up and eat it, wouldn't you? In the toilet bowl?

Yeah, because if it's in the toilet bowl, it's at least half a metre high. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was on the table and everyone's digging in there with the spoon. So people were about it. But yeah, no, that number two. It seems wrong, eh? Yeah, it does. Hey, that was new.

Oh, look at it. We'll put a picture up there. Like it's the end of it. We'll put a picture up there. Like it's the end of it. The end of the brown chocolate ice cream does not look. It shouldn't be served in a toilet bowl, that's for sure. We'll put it on our list. Maybe it's the result of what happened to the lady in number two. Oh, okay.

All right. The head's worst song ever. Yeah, we're looking for the worst song as voted by you. And controversially, this song is in the semifinal. Adele. Adele. Someone's texting going, I have 10 votes for Sadale. Sadale.

They want to put Adele into the finals of the worst song ever. But you can't put Adele in, especially when you're up against this. Yeah, Crazy Frog. I got into a hole yesterday on the internet about the creator of Crazy Frog. And he hates the name Crazy Frog. He was an animator and a dance music producer. He's like, it's not even a frog. The creation he made is not even meant to be a frog.

Oh, what does it mean? Just Crazy Frog took on a life of it. He's like, it's just a creature. Ah. But why'd they call it Crazy Frog? Well, he said, that wasn't my choice. Oh, really? Producer Joel?

Do you know the song's not actually called Crazy Frog? It's called Axel F by Crazy Frog. Yeah, well, that's the, yeah. Yeah, Crazy Frog's the artist. Yeah. Listen, does anyone really care what the name of the song is? Because the votes are pouring in, Natalie. Whether it's Crazy Frog or Axel F, what do you want to put

through? Crazy Frog, please. Crazy Frog are the worst song ever, which means that if it wins, we're going to have to play the song in the entirety, but we'll worry about that on Wednesday. Thank you, Natalie. You're going to have a wonderful week. All right, mate. Debs, you're on from Palmerston North, the Spanish

team's favourite part of New Zealand. Are you going to vote for Adele or Crazy Frog? Call me crazy, but I'm voting for Adele. You confused me with your intro. I know, yeah.

It's this early in the morning too. These two options. Someone comes to you and is like, okay, we're at this party, what shall I put on next? Crazy Frog or Adele? You're going to say Crazy Frog. Yeah, because I don't want my soul to die a little bit. Crazy Frog.

A party's probably not the best environment for Adele. Yeah. But yeah, we'll take your vote, Debbie. Alright, thank you. Good on you, mate. Appreciate you listening. Kassania, is it Crazy Frog or Adele heading through to the finals of our worst song ever? Crazy Frog for sure. And looking at our votes on the text as well, with 76% of the vote. And I feel like it's appropriate.

Crazy Frog's advancing through. Well done, Crazy Frog. Or not well done, in the case maybe of the worst song ever. But Crazy Frog is advancing through. Well done, Crazy Frog, or not well done. In the case maybe of the worst song ever, but Crazy Frog is going through to the final. Our first finalist. Kasanya, why don't you give us some words of advice, words of wisdom before you head off?

Crazy Frog gets you in your head, for sure. Great words of wisdom too. Love your work, Kasanya. You have a great time in Wellington this week, alright? Thank you.