Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Strict rules for the stag do !

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

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Welcome to the untamed realm of the World Wide Web, a swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying and self-obsessed social media posts. In this digital jungle, Jono and Vienna are your fearless guides, leading you through the wildest parts of the Wild Wild Web. This is the Wild Wild Web. Welcome along to another edition of the Wild Wild Web We look at some of the wildest stories on the internet And have some of the wildest conversations that we'll ever have

Not safe for radio sometimes, is it Megan? It often ends up in a pretty grim place Where we start and where we finish, it's always a journey Well this time we're starting with something that potentially could be grim We've got producer Taylor with us as well Now you actually sent this news article to us that's on the internet. So in England, there's a lady who's written a bit of a few rules for the stag do, the bucks party, as you Aussies love to call it, right?

Yeah. The bucks. So do you guys call it stag as well in New Zealand? We call it the stag do. Yeah, stag do. Yeah, no, we call it bucks parties. Bucks parties. So anyway, this guy, well, they're getting married,

and she is a little, I guess, a little nervous about what's going to go on with the lads, the lads going away. And so she's put together some stag do rules. They include no strippers. She's got brackets. Let's keep it classy, lads. Girls are a no. She has eyes on the back of her head.

Communication. So I know he's not. And what's the emoji for that one? Dead. Oh, dead. Yes, that's a grave. I can empathise with that. Okay, enough for now. You can have fun, but don't have as much fun as I do and my hens do, is what she said. Video, photo, everything. I get FOMO and I want to be involved. Now this goes against the first rule of stag do's, no phones, no videos. So she's gone against that. Locations off limits, Amsterdam, affirm no.

Bring me back a present, she's requested. And then she also had some other ones, including like nothing to be shaved off and if it's a tattoo, it's small. So the big list of rules there, this has divided the internet. You know, you're both married. Both your partners would have gone to stag do's beforehand. Both of them under the thumb.

Yeah. I've been stag do's as well. You know, like they can be. I mean, I've got to say, as a guy, sometimes I'm like, guys, come on, you know, like this. Guys on mass. Lads, lads, lads. Guys on mass is not necessarily a good thing.

No, it's that whole pack mentality. You know, you guys just rile each other up. It's all that testosterone. And it's just like, at what age are we going to grow up, guys? Yeah, no, fair enough. Now, how many of these rules do you think are reasonable? And how many do you think that she needs to... To be honest, I feel like she's joking with that list.

Because there's a couple in there that kind of sounds like she's having a laugh. Like, give me a present. She's obviously joking, right? Yeah, because I feel like- He's not got time for that, babe. He's got his head buried between some strippers' breasts. No strippers. Oh, no strippers.

The present is him coming home alive without cheating. That's the present. But as you were ticking off the list, Ben, I was like, yep, reasonable, reasonable, reasonable, until the present. Yeah. She says she does clarify that because the internet loves to jump on and get involved in other people's relationships.

She did say, oh, it's more like a souvenir as opposed to diamonds or something like that. What does she want? A dollar bill from the stripper's bra? No strippers. No strippers. We can't go to strippers.

What are you meant to, her G-string? What the hell? I can't, I don't know, this thing does. It's an interesting time. Some people leave it like the night before.

We spoke to someone on the radio who was doing the night before. No. That's stupid. See, that's a practical rule. She should have. Oh, wait, I guess. Even a week before is too close. So I just had the rule there was nothing to mark you in any way.

So no shaved eyebrows, no tattoos, nothing that was visible. Like don't change your hair nothing like that yeah or don't do anything that's going to give you like a bruise or a broken leg or you know i can imagine a lot of people from from many generations ago you know like with no phones was probably they couldn't take phones you know where that these days you know all that stuff is across you know social media even if you're not part of it, you're probably seeing someone handcuffed to a lamppost. You're like, I'll put this on my TikTok or something. But why do they call it the last night of freedom?

It's not. You haven't been free for a long time. I hate that. I hate that so much. Yeah, true. That's a very good point. You're not allowed to go out and hook up with chicks. And you haven't been for obviously a while since we've been together.

It's not your last night of freedom.'s no you're right actually it's weird on yeah what's what did what did andrew do what was andrew's what did he tell you he did well yeah i mean he's pretty chill though you know andrew he's a pretty chill guy so he went like whiskey tasting with the boys they did like a rocket bungee thing and yeah i i think he had a list of things he had to tick off, but they were all pretty tame. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he would do anything too debaucherous.

He's not that type of guy as opposed to Taylor's NRL husband. Well, probably his muscle is great, but imagine the mates. Once he gets with the boys, though, does he let loose? It's not even that because we were living in New Zealand at the time when we got married, so he flew back to Sydney to have his bucks with all his Sydney friends. Oh, so you're back here in New Zealand. So I was back here and I set my one rule was, well, I had a few rules,

but survive and I want communication at least every six hours to know that you are still living. Every six hours? I would have are still living. Every six hours? I would have gone every hour. Yeah, well, true. Six hours is pretty... Six hours is a decent amount of time, though. It went for four days.

Four days! So they got an Airbnb right in the middle of nowhere of Sydney, like off the Richter scale. Is that a word? No, I like that. Off the grid, off the Richter scale. Off the grid was what I wanted to say. I like off the Richter scale. I like that. Off the grid. Off the grid was what I wanted to say. I like off the Richter scale. That's good.

Off the Richter. So they just rode themselves off at that house. Oh, my God. It's probably quite good to make a way, though. Yeah, exactly. I hate paintball. Geez, paintball's such a- No, see, that leaves the opportunity for a bruise.

They leave like big welts. My dad and brother went as well, and I said, listen, guys, your loyalty's with me. Oh yeah. If anything happens, you tell me. I'd be scared. That's a good safety net. Marcelo is not your blood. But he's not going to do anything in front of your dad.

Like I've been on Zagdews before, that's the awkward thing that sometimes you have the parents. And then they do get strippers and it's like, what? This is a bit weird. Oh my god, imagine if you're sitting there enjoying a stripper with your mother-in-law yeah i've been to so many hands where the mother-in-law and the mother are there and they're the ones that are the craziest around the stripper yeah yeah i don't know what would be

worse your mother-in-law sitting there like anti judging you or your mother-in-law getting involved and getting amongst the stripper i'd be like ah no yeah also i'm like one night one night i'm like one night i'm good for one night two nights anything along with the one night i'm like oh she's that second husband gets that oh one night you have a big night you can keep going all the way through no sleep it's fine and it died but then the second night i'm like guys what are we doing? Try four days, mate. What did you actually do for yours? I didn't have a lot of time because we were in the middle of a TV show. So we were making a sports show at the time.

So I remember I'd done this ribbon. I had to enter a ribbon dancing competition, you know, with the gymnastics thing. Rhythmic gymnastics. Yeah, as part of like a gag, I'd lost a coin toss for the TV show. So they made me wear that outfit. That was the outfit. Because I like cricket, they took me to a cricket net and they fired up a bowling machine.

So the balls were coming out fast at me. Then we went into town. It was a big night out. I think I ended up performing on stage at the Strip Miss Man. Oh, wow. I was up there. They dragged me up there and I did a ribbon dance routine to the crowd. And it wasn't quite what I think some of the seedy dudes wanted to see

was some guy doing a ribbon dance routine. But I performed my, you know, like I did. Did you get any money thrown at you? I collected a little bit, you know, from the floor. But, yeah, that was kind of it. Yeah, I do remember that. But it was relatively tame, I think, in comparison to what a lot of people's can be. And did your wife, Amanda, give you any rules beforehand?

No, she didn't really give me any rules. No, I guess she kind of. She's got to be pretty chill. She's married to you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, a lot of the most, I always say this, most of the wilder stuff that I do in my life actually ends up being for TV or radio things as well.

So I kind of tick that box a lot of the time. It's like, oh, yeah, we stayed awake and did this thing. We got a thing. We got a tattoo. So true. You know, like I said, oh, I did all that. So then outside of that, I mean, I can have big nights out. It's fine. But you don't feel you a thing. We got a tattoo. So true. You know, like I said, oh, I did all that. So then outside of that, I mean, I can have big nights out.

It's fine. But you don't feel you have to end up with a tattoo or a tiger in your bedroom. What Jono said to me, he's like, the wildest thing you'll learn about me is I'm not wild. I don't go out much.

I'm pretty chill. I'll probably, like, I will go out and have big nights, but not to, you know, not to that extent. Not to lads, lads, lads. But, you know, I do enjoy hanging out.

Yeah. So what do you reckon? Do you reckon this lady's being... I think she's pretty reasonable overall. Yeah, I think so too. Everyone's just abroad in the comments. Just shut up. Yeah. And Taylor loves it that way.

They love getting involved. I love a heated debate. Honestly. You're mob on TikTok though. You love it, don't they? Yeah. I do. I do.

I am actually in the comments. Put Taylor on the internet. Everyone will go for it. Shall we? There we go. That's today's edition of the Wild Wild Web. If you ever see something that we should be talking about, you can message that to us as well.

A wild story that you've seen on the internet. How would you go about that? I've said that, but now I'm like... DM us on our DMs. Slide into the DMs. Slide into the DMs. It's breakfast. Some wild stuff happens on those DMs slide into the DMs slide into the DMs some wild stuff happens on those DMs

that's for sure alright we'll catch you next time see you