Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Ben Boyce Podcast!

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

The best Ben moments for the year so far... (00:00) Ben's Kids map out what would happen if dad moved out… and make it sound pretty great for them (02:50) Ben accidentally pantses a female friend! (06:50) Ben has to sit through an awkwardly sexy scene with his teens. (10:20) The autocorrect fail that completely derails a work meeting. (13:20) Ben's reaction when a woman storms into the men's toilets! (16:50) Ben's daughter starts calling out his driving "critical errors". (19:40) Dad's confusing emoji reply sparks a generational mystery...   Join the Itty Bitty Hitty Committee HERE!Instagram:  @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. My family. Friends of ours, you know, they've separated and that happens. And I've been through that with my parents. And sometimes I think it's not a bad thing because in the end people can be a lot happier, which is good. And we're trying to talk about that.

Were there any advantages to your parents going their separate ways? Like, obviously. Two Christmases. Two Christmases was a good thing. couldn't. No, is it good. Oh, take that. Take that.

And each, they're each trying to out impress each other. Yeah, for a while there they were. Oh, yeah. So that was good. That was good. Play them off against each other. Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, so that happens. And we were talking about that with the kids the other night as well. And then they started going down the road of what would happen if Amanda and I split up. Oh, cherry. And I was sort of sitting on the sidelines as they got quite in depth with the conversation. Like, oh, who would move out of the house? Oh, dad would move out of the house. out of the house. Was your wife joining

in? No, she was sort of like... Oh yeah, no, he'll go here and I'll do this then you'd be worried. She was sort of an observer like we're watching on the sidelines. Oh, they were talking to each other. Yeah, they really picked up the ball and ran with it. They decided I was moving out. I was like, okay, fine. And then they were like... He seems

like the type of guy would have to move out. Like move out the ball buster. Yeah, move him out. I could see you. Where could I see you in sort of a lonely little one bedder apartment? Oh, well, they had apartment. Partman was good. They were really selling the apartment. sort of real estate agent. They were like, that would be a nice apartment, Dad.

You'd get your apartment to be nice and clean and tidy. I'm like, okay, talk to me more about this apartment. They thought an apartment building with a gym as well too, one of those ones, car parking. So they've got over the trauma and the hurt feelings of the divorce, and now they're straight to the facilities. Yeah, so they're like a nice sort of two-bedroom apartment. I'm like, okay, they were kind of selling me on it.

I'm like, that sounds nice. You know, that I think how clean you could keep it and all that stuff. I'm like, okay. And then I thought, oh, hang on, no, is it? just like them's just saying you'd be out. You're on your way. They've come to terms with that. Do they ever mention how often they'd come and see you?

No. Yeah, was that extra bedroom for them or? No, I don't know. I don't know, actually. You're right. They're just sort of phasing me out all right. It happens when people have like conversations of things that may or may not happen. Everyone growing up, I had that friend with the bloody divorce dad in an apartment.

You know? It seems like rules of morals. We're a little fast and loose. At that solo dad's house. Yeah, I'm saying I'm my dads. Should we go out of the week? Yeah. Dinner was optional.

Sometimes dads didn't even know they were coming. Yeah, come in. They'd be like, yeah, we're starting at dads. And dad would be like, I had no idea that was happening. It was just used as an excuse. It sounds like you're going to be there, dad. Watch the space, guys. Watch the space.

John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Symphony as well over the weekend, which was epic as well. Although what wasn't epic leaving symphony? And when you try and get an Uber and it's, oh, the surge. Surge. It's not about 20 bucks to my house probably, I would imagine, from that, but it was $81 when I had a look at it.

And that wasn't the end of Cynthia. Was walking ever an option for you? I know you like a long distance walk? Well, it was for me, my family and not, you know, my wife and daughter who were with at the end. Probably not as much, but we did walk and get some food. And then I thought, maybe it'll come down. I didn't come down much. Far up.

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, where that happens. That's even if you can get one. Exactly. Yeah. So, Cynthia of the weekend. But what was the most, well, embarrassing. It was actually embarrassing for me.

more embarrassing for my friend as well. We were walking across the road to Symphony on our way there. And I was, you know, I was a responsible adult that night. He said he had to have a conversation with themselves Saturday morning about what went on Friday night. Yeah, I caught up some mates and some beers, you know, on Friday afternoon. You overindulged. Probably did.

And then, of course, we had about the family for dinner. And it was, it was good. But, you know, when I was, you know, his family of the kids and stuff like that as well, we'd got out and then end up doing sarky shots with some random next table because of his birthday. And I was like, why am I here? What am I doing this? children who were like, do you want to slow down?

They're like, no, because I came back later, though. What did you do more shots? My daughter's went, no, he's okay. Were you operating on a different level at dinner? My daughter's like, no, leave him be, leave him be. Dad's going to sit this one out. Fair enough, fair enough. So next morning I'm like, no, I'm going to be good at symphony.

So it was, it was, didn't drink at all. It was fine. Had great time. It was awesome. It's amazing, symphony. But what was kind of awkward is we arrived with some friends were walking across the road and one of my friends she was wearing like a long, I guess

a long skirt that sort of went down towards the ground. You know when you walk close to someone? The skirts that go towards the sky. Oh sorry, I mean, like quite close to the ground. So you know like it's not a mini skirt scenario. It's one thing just about, it's one that goes close to the ground, Megan, close to a floor. A long skirt. Yeah, a long skirt. A ground

facing skirt. Yeah. You know where the ground is, Megan? Well, this was close to the ground. And this is pivotal for the story because You know when you sometimes walk behind people and you're close in front of somebody, you sometimes stand on the back of a jandal or a shoe or whatever it is. I stood on the back of her skirt, ground-facing skirt. So it wasn't a dress, it was a skirt. Skirt.

It was an elastic waistband? Yes. So ground-facing skirt, a shoe onto the skirt. My, and he sort of digs into the ground and that sort of stopped there. And as she walked forward, walking. You downtrowed her. Yes, she did. And, yeah.

And that was like one of those situations where I'm like, I am so sorry. She's like, did you see it? And we're like, no, no, but you did. Did, you saw? Oh, yeah, dear. I didn't get into panic situation, but you're like, no, it was fine. And you saw, but he didn't digest.

No, no, no, no. I wouldn't put that in a bank. No, but you're like, of course, because you put it was there. You're like, oh, yeah, and it was all on display, but it was all like. How far did the waistband go down? Probably mid sort of butt, meant to low buttox range of G-string, sort of, You know, like, yeah, and I was like, oh, this is like, and we're close friends, so we're like, we'd laugh about it,

but at the same time, you're like, I'm so sorry. You're even closer now. Were there witnesses? Yeah, well, there's how people are around in the facility as well, and you're like, they're all on the way in as well. And I'm like, oh, this is humbling for her, you know. And I'm not even like three sarkies deep or anything. It's the age I'm sober.

When you put this in our run sheets, he's saying he had a skirt incident, and that is a sentence that never ends, well. When this is a skirt incident. Exactly. Well, investigation pending and good luck. Yeah, that's my story. Sicking to it next, though.

We caught up with someone who's doing something pretty incredible. Done it for over 50 days. Yeah, I don't know how much longer they can continue with it. Going nationwide, and it's blown up the internet. We'll get them on next on the hits. John O'Bin and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

Yeah, also at the weekend, I took my daughter, because she loves musical theatre. She's really into anything live theatre. That's kind of one of her passions, daughter, seeing her. So I'm like, any chance I get to take her a little. long I'm like really like give it a go we've seen some really amazing shows and some shows you're like you know over the years but it's just good to go what is it what are they're like let's just go along and experience live theater list the ones that are like I just lost two hours in my life

but it's cool like I'm starting to get to her passion I'm not starting to really get on board with it as well so we're into the rocky horror picture show over the was it a oh no it was really good it's such a fun show like I That's the Justin Timberlake. He wasn't in it. Time Warp. I know Time Warp. You know the songs.

You know Richard O'Brien, who spent a bit of time growing up in Hamilton and Tauranga. He wrote it, and he was there. He came out at the end. Oh, did you meet him? Oh, it didn't meet him, but he came out on stage at the end. They brought him out. He's the creator. So that was pretty cool.

And it's a really, really fun show, but I didn't know anything really about the story of Rocky Art Picture Show. And my daughter, Siena came along. and a couple of friends came with her so there was like three girls around 15, 16 years old and I was like looking up I was like oh is this a little bit raunchy in parts all I remember

I haven't seen it either it looks a little unhinged the whole thing Yeah and that's kind of part of the fun right A lot of fishnet stockings Yes That's the only thing I know about it There was a guy here in reception filming some stuff with another radio station

I was like magnificent legs Yeah She whizzie could fill out those fish nets And he was a part of the promotion for it as well So, yeah, so I was like, oh, will it be appropriate? And I'm like, I looked at the thing and said, oh, 14 and up, it's fine. I'm like, that's good. And it was, it was really good and really funny.

But there was one particular scene in the second half where it was sort of like a bedroom scene. It was all done kind of, there was no nudity really. They got that. But it was just, you know, when you're sitting next to your daughter and two kids that you're looking after, I'm responsible. I'm the parent for these guys. Did you want to put your hands over there, eyes? I was like, this is getting, and it was funny.

Like, it was really funny in the scene, but it just kept going on and on and on with a guy and a girl. and then the guy and the guy, it was all happening. It was all happening. It all done it in a very funny way. And the audience was loving it. But when you know inside you're like, I'm a little awkward just because I'm who I'm next to, you know, like everyone else loving it.

And I'm like, I've never had that before. Because normally I'd be like sitting next to your parents. So now in this occasion, I was the parent next to my daughter. If you thought you were dying inside, just imagine how Siena was feeling. Did she mention it afterwards? No, we didn't delve too deep into that. And that, well, it was just, it was a really fun job. What was the one you were watching with Jenny Boyce?

That was Bridgeton. Bridgeton, they got a bit spicy. But if you go out, get along and see it. It's really cool. It's really cool. And awesome to have, you know, like such a New Zealand connection to Rocky Horror Pitch. Your husband was there? He was there as well.

Yeah. Although he came home and he was like, great show. I loved it. But I don't know what happened. No, no. He was texting me afterwards. He goes, do you know what happened to the end? I don't know.

No, did they die with their aliens? I don't know. Like, no, they were things. But it was great. It didn't matter. No one could explain the plot. So talented. Or whatever.

Did Richard Brian come out and explain the plot? No, so what was it? Were they, I think they're, I think they're aliens. Oh, they meant to be aliens. I think so. I think at the end they're aliens. And I think, yeah. And then Andrews said, did they all die?

And he was like, I don't know. I only got the alien part. So anyway, it was great. It was really good. Put your hands on your hip. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

The thing, order correct. Every now and again, it just does your dirty, doesn't it? And I don't know I'd love to just turn off the function I really would because Although many times it can be your best friend It really does help you 90% of the time It's pretty reliable

But when it just changes something For the sake of it When you go to the effort And this is what happened I've never had order to correct Doing me dirty like this before I was going out to meet up with someone From meeting

That was a lady from meeting About like some work potential work thing And she said Shall we meet at a cafe I'm like great And I got there early. This is yesterday, and so I got there early. I ordered a hot drink, and I was a little bit hungry.

It was like a sort of French-style cafe. So I was like, oh, there's croissants and there's chocolate croissants, those pano-chocolat ones. I was like, I'll grab one of those. Fancy, go. And I thought, well, I don't want to be rude. She's going to arrive very shortly. Maybe I should offer to buy her one. So I text.

We've been in text correspondence. And I text and say, hey, I'm at the cafe. Do you want a hot drink? Question mark. That bit, fine. And then I went, do you like pano chocolate? And I even went to the trouble of Googling how to spell pano chocolate. What is pano chocolate?

It's just the croissant. It's chocolate cross-off. Yeah, chocolate croissant. And I was like, yeah, pano chocolate chocolate. And I was like, would you like a chocolate crosson? Yeah, well, yeah. But I was like, well, that's the proper words. It's what it says on the cabinet.

That's what I know. And I was like, great. So do you like pana chocolate? I was like, great. Googled it on my laptop. I was like, that's how you spell it. Put it in my phone. Oh, blessed.

Sent it off. Yeah. And then I looked. down and I was like, uh-oh. I know what it's done. So what it said is like, do you like, yeah, what do you want for a hot drink? Question mark, that was fine. And then it said, do you like, and I probably can't say this on the radio.

Let's just say it starts with pee and it's adult films. Rhymes with corn. Do you like corn and chocolate, shall we say? But not corn. If you put the pee with a, if they call with that. So I just find out of like, would you like a hot drink? Question mark. Next question.

I'm going to say corn again. Do you like corn and chocolate? Question mark. That's a good question. Really going from, would you like a hot drink to what other things? And by the way, while we're on the topic. What else are you into? What else you're into?

Because I'm into some freaky stuff. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you know when you send something, you look down and you're like, you can't unsend it. There's no way you can unsend it. You can edit it. Well, I was just like, huh? Could you see if she'd read it?

No, I just like, ha. Ha, ha. No, I meant this. Autocrat. You know, when you fire like 20 other messages. And you're trying to write it. And you're like, I meant this. And it's like, corn.

Corn. I'm like, oh my goodness. Fortunately, I think she saw the funny side of things when she turned up, but at the same time, I'm like, did she ever give you an answer? No, no, no, no. I don't actually know what she was into, and I don't feel like, I'm indifferent on one, don't mind the other.

And I also feel like the work that we're going to do, probably not going to happen now. John O'Bin and Megan, the podcast, the hits. Last night I went to a little event thing with my daughters and stuff. And one thing you notice is, you know, when it's like a half-time or one of those things, you know, an interval. Yeah, often use the bathroom. And being, I guess, the only one using the male toilets.

We're the only one? Well, only one in my family. It's normally a lot quicker for me to go in and out. And this is one of those situations. There was a huge long line that the girls were all waiting on. Yes, I feel really sorry for you guys on that front when you go to concerts and sporting games. Is there a way to speed things up? I know, because I feel like there must be, well, it needs to be.

Well, it's because you have urinals, right? Yeah, I mean, could you have, could you, I mean, is there a business in creating some sort of system where you kind of stand up and just put, like, sort of. A shewede. Yeah. But like, have like a tube and you just sort of stand up and it just kind of does the, I don't know, I'm brainstorming here, guys. Thank you. I appreciate it. I don't know if they, it's probably not up for the men to probably decide on what is.

I probably wouldn't stand against a tube. You know, you could have your hands on your waist. Yeah, good night, mate, how's it going? Anyway, so I was using the urinal last night. And it was a huge long line. And there was a couple people in the bathroom in the men's thing. But it was a lot quieter. Like I was pretty much straight in there.

And then I just hear, not looking, not looking, not looking. And I was like, oh, that's a, that sounds like a lady's voice, I guess. And I turned around and it was like, and it was. And it was a lady walking through. And she had her sort of hand up, I guess, shielding her eyes. And she made her way through the men's into the cubicle system there. Good on her. She just decided enough is enough with the line.

I'm going through and she just came in with a not looking, not looking. But anything, I was like, is she looking? I don't know. Did you give that a go in their urinal? Not looking. Not looking. Okay, looking a little bit. A little bit of peeking.

Oh, good on her. Were any of the guys annoyed? Was there any chat? I don't think so. We kind of just went, oh, oh, and I guess it startled us briefly because it was. And then she went into the, you know, the cubicle. And I was like, I guess, all good, you know. She's a brave soul.

I'm going to do that. Brave soul even walking into that, you know, smelly environment, to be honest. That would be my only thing. What's the state of your chemicals? It was relatively good. Like, I probably wouldn't do it in a middle of a sports game or any of those sort of situations. It was relatively nice, I guess. But, yeah, there sometimes is, you know.

Because if you did that in a woman's one, you'd probably get tackled. We would all be like, get out of here. Oh, yeah. So I was wondering what the restriction. He's not waiting at line. I get reached it if I did that. But, yeah. But the reception was fine.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was just me and another guy. Oh, my God. Yeah, sweet. What's your hands in? I would try it. I remember there's a bar where you used to go out in town and it had, you had the combo, didn't it?

Communal, like, washing hands and you went off to, yeah. You'd enter through a male, female door. And then when you got in, you're like, oh, everyone's in here. I had something like that the other day. And everyone that came in was like, oh, oh, sorry. And then I was like, someone else came and go, ooh. It was like, everyone that popped in. And then I was like, no, it's okay.

But the person before me had done that to me, and I guess the person before them was like, oh, I'd like, maybe we start the, oh, bathroom. And you're coming through separate doors, but it's all open slather. What if I went to the men's bathroom here? Do you reckon anyone? No.

Because I know people. Just go there, not looking, not looking, and the way you go. John O'Bin and Megan, the podcast, the hits. My daughter, oldest daughter's learning to drive at the moment. It's got learners and stuff. So we're kind of going around and doing that.

And she's doing it. She's a really good job. And I'm relaxing more when I'm in the car. You're easing into it. Yeah, it's easing into the car. What youth saying you're relaxing, but, you know, visibly, what's your body? I'm trying to be chill. Have you all got your foot up on the dashboard?

She wants to like sometimes put the radio on and music on and stuff like that. I'm like, okay, can have it to it. Now we agree to have it to her age, which is kind of like, it's quite low. you can just sort of hear it. And then she's like, well, don't do it on your age when you drive because you can't get it that far. It's too loud. Ear bleedingly loud.

Yeah. So the rules don't apply for me and her, but she's driving around. But we also thought, well, maybe we should get her to get some, you know, some lessons with someone who's a driving instructor just in case there's things that we're not teaching them. Outside of the family union. Which way it makes sense. There's probably things you forget or things you don't. Yeah.

She doesn't want to learn your bad habit. Yeah, exactly. So it seems like it's gone well. She's been going for an hour or, you know, so on driving lessons. But what has happened when she's got back in the car with me? She's now conscious of things that I am doing. So I feel like I am the one getting instructed by my daughter. Should we go, uh, critical error there?

You didn't indicate off the roundabout? And I'll be like, oh, oh. Critical error? You didn't follow that lane around when you were going to run the lane? What is critical error mean? Like instant fail or something? Yeah, I think so. Like, yeah, instant fail.

I think my whole drive home would be a critical era. Oh, yeah. You're a walking critical error. Oh, it would be like, follow that lane around, critical error. Like, she'll just murmur these things to me, like, sitting next to me in the passenger seat. Pulled a finger at the courier.

Critical era. Speeding. So I'm like, oh, okay. So I don't quite like this part of it. When you think about it, the new drivers are probably the safest drivers on the road. Yeah. You know, my driving really deteriorated over a sort of a 20-year career. Yeah.

Now, yeah, you imagine all the stuff that she knows that you have no idea of. I wouldn't be across half the road code. You get like a rogue confidence after a while. You do. And I want to say to the young people listening, there's another road code, one that hasn't been written, you know, in a book. There's stuff you can do and get away with. Well, not really, though. All the tickets you receive would beg to disagree.

There's an unwritten road code. That we all abide by. There's a written road. No, you abide by. You do your own thing. And it's really, yeah. Do you know what my mum and dad are saying with us at the moment, but my mom gets in the passenger with me? Every time I park the car, she goes,

and I'm like, mum, sucks in the big ones. And she does that invisible break thing. Oh yeah, yeah. I do that when we're driving. Oh my God. That's so annoying. I don't think it doesn't matter how old you are as a parent

or how old your child is, you never relax as the passenger in the driver's seat. Hey, you're a chick. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. You know, like I guess parents and technology is something that we all, you know,

like have to deal with in our day-to-day life. And it's very easy to slip out of what is the appropriate thing. It moves quite fast. And so I do appreciate. Even for us, it moves fast. Yeah, totally. There's things that, you know, I don't know. I'm definitely not an expert as well.

And, you know, the use of an emoji is something that, you know, I don't know what everyone means. And in this case, my dad might have it 100% correct. I'm getting confused at the moment, too, I feel the lines are being blurred between a thumbs up and a heart. Right. I find I'm hearting things that in the past I would have thunders. And I'm like, does this message deserve a heart?

Does my heart actually believe, you know, Ben, oh, I've got to get away at 10 o'clock today. I hearted that. Oh, yeah. And I was like, more of a thumbs up to me in my mind. But I'm saying, you're scared of the thumbs up. Yeah. Well, the thumbs up most of the time takes more effort, I think. Isn't it further along?

I don't know. I just heart anything as like an acknowledgement. Oh, knowledge. I've seen it. It's like, cool. My kids always say the thumbs ups. It's just dad thing. Yeah, I've got that in the back of me too.

Yeah. So this is coming from my dad. like text my sister and I like about a week ago and reminded us of someone's birthday and the family which is nice lovely and I did I did a heart just a little heart thing just to acknowledge that I'd seen the text then he replied back with the emoji with the nerd glasses and buck teeth and it's and I'm like what is the message there is that meant to be you I don't know the is that meant to be you because you wear glasses from time to time maybe and my teeth I don't think I've got but I was like I was like oh yeah

Dad's reply back. Then I looked at the lid. I was like, what does he mean by that? Does he wear glasses? Yeah, yeah, no. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes.

Yeah, he does, yeah. I feel like a parent would reply with that, like, that's him smiling at you, being like, yeah. I think that's supposed to be him. That would be my guess. Is that Kevin? But Kevin is there, buck teeth? I love it.

No, but he's just going with the glasses. He's the closest emoji. He's like, yep. Yeah, so it's like, it's a happy-looking emoji with the glasses. the buck teeth and I'm like, what does he mean by that, producer Grace? You're across, you know, things from a different generation. Yeah, you're coming here, Grace. Yeah.

Am I, is it just Dan misfiring emoji or wanting to send something back or is it him, like, is there a hidden meaning in behind this? How fast did you reply? Pretty good, pretty quickly. Yeah, he's calling you a nerd. Oh. He's going, no. He's bullying you.

Why are you replying so fast? He's like, what, suck up? Nerd, but he's the one that's stuck. No, he's the, I reckon that's him being like, okay, I see you're applying. Yeah. Tell you what, like they've got to think about.

He's a school teacher as well. We'll try and get my dad on before the end of the show. We'd need to solve this mystery. He's not answering the phone at the moment. What the he did he did you be?