Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Best Callers Podcast

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

From hilarious confessions and unbelievable stories to unexpected opinions and laugh-out-loud moments, we've rounded up some of the best caller moments from the show!   Join the Itty Bitty Hitty Committee HERE!Instagram:  @THEHITSBREAKFASTFacebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better team. Batman got his name from his fear of bats and we're saying, using the same logic. What would your superhero name be? We've got some... I feel like you cut off the no, no, no, no, no. That was some wild stories out of that OG Batman TV series.

Is that Adam West? Yes. It was just a... Giant, giant orgy. The whole thing. Start to finish. Very Randy, so good. The whole productions. I mean, it would be a nightmare for HR nowadays, this set of Batman in the original series.

All right, let's go to the phones. Batman's fear was bats if you're irrational fear. What, name your rational fear, and then that's your superhero name. Basically, what's the thing you don't like? You dislike you're scared of, and that would be your superhero name, yeah. Brooke. Good morning, team. Are we?

Good, mate. Happy New Year. Brooke feeling on top of the world. Great. Well, my fear is bananas. Oh, so you'd be banana woman, the whole banana lady. Yeah, so why are you not like bananas? I am, like, deathly afraid of them.

My husband thinks it's hilarious. It's his party joke to describe peeling one. No, to describe peeling one. And, yeah, well, yeah, no. What's the worst bit? Is it those little dangly threads? Yeah, no. Or is it the knob at the top that you have to like bend over?

Yeah, no, everything. Absolutely everything. What about when the bananas all mushed up? No. No. No, no, no, no, no. What about when they start to go spotty at the fruit pole? Yeah, no.

So I'm putting it in a smoothie. I've taken it out, I've put it in a smoothie. It's all blended up with other bananas. How's that? No, nothing. I, no smell, look, taste, nothing. Like, every. I'd love to see you at a fight as a superhero,

and they just pull out a banana. And the whole time, you're like, dry reaching. You know, I do hate it when you peel it and then see that little black knob at the end. And you've got to look. Oh. No. It's taken. It's taken.

me seven years to even pick one up at the supermarket so my children can have them Oh really? Would you peel it for your children? No, don't I, you're lucky I pick it up with a paper bag at the supermarket. Oh, so you put your hand in the bag first, are you? Oh, my God. Yes, like a dog poop. What does this date back to?

I don't know. Like, I think way back in the day I was an Olympal evil swimmer and they forced us to eat them maybe. I don't know, but. It just everything about them. There's some trauma there. There's some deep-seated trauma. Oh my God. I can see why your husband enjoys this.

It's actually quite fun. Yeah, well, thanks for you. Cool, Brooke. Appreciate it. Should we keep these coming through? We'll get some more on after 9 o'clock. John O'Bin and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. You know, well, with Joddai having a favorite public toilet, maybe everyone would want to get involved in that. Well, it seems like you and me, Megan, we don't have a favorite public toilet, and so does the rest of the country exactly the same. Well, listen, I don't know. So, you know, we're a transparent show.

When things don't fly, we're going to talk about it. But, you know, this wasn't a phone topic that even me being a huge enthusiast of public toilets and having a top five list, even I was a bit like, I don't know if this one's going to fly. I thought maybe you'd find your people. Yeah. Well, yeah. But maybe you're the only one. You'd find you crazy.

And as we had through that whole Bieber song, no texts, no calls, anxious times on the radio show. But then Vincent has come through. And then a hero comes along. Save the phone topic, Vinnie. He did. He did. Your preferred public toilet location? I wasn't necessarily more of a preferred public toilet, but I was a victim of a public toilet self-cleaning while I was in there.

Oh! Did you have the malfunctioned? It happened. Yeah, yeah, this is back before the crusher earthquake. I had just moved there. I was 18. I'd gotten a job working in a little bar called the Bar-on-Ey. on, which was just outside the Cathedral Square. And the All Whites were playing in the World Cup, and we hadn't lost the game, but we hadn't won one either.

Oh, yeah. Yep. And then my mate goes, you need to come down to the bar. It's packed. It's a little English player, so we're playing all the games. And there's a game on at like 2 o'clock in the morning, so I rock down there. And it's packed shoulder to shoulder.

It takes out 10 minutes to get to the bar. I finally get there. Order myself a drink. I go, I really need to go to the bathroom. That's not number one. I need to go number two. So I go to the one at the bar and someone's trying up all over the seats.

I'm like, oh, I'm not going there. I go to use the staff one. Someone's taking a swipe key home with us. I'm like, oh, it's 24-hour ones just inside the Cathedral Square and the alleyway that we go to to get to my work. So I go down there. I walk up to the first one.

There's no lights on. It's pitch black. I'm like, I won't use that one because as soon as I shut the door, I can't see anything. Go to the next one. Lights are on, doors open. fantastic. So I go in there.

Can I just say I'm loving this blow-by-blower count. I feel like I'm there with me. You call through all your options? You're like, all right, desperate times. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, that little button the door shuts. I'll turn around.

The toilets against the wall. Weird little decoration. There's little shiny things on the wall, that's a bit weird. No details beared. I don't want to know too much detail on your business. Of course, the toilets against the wall, too. But anyway.

Okay. Is it? But I drop my dachs and I get started. And then I'm about halfway through. Fights cut out and it goes pitch black. Music cuts out. Someone's playing a prank on me. I'm like, good-day.

Hello? No one's answering back. So I'm like, oh, I'll just have a feel around. So I'll pull in the toilet, babe, man. I'll just pinch it off. I'll just keep going. Just slightly off the toilet as you do. I've got to all of a sudden all those shiny things on the back wall.

start spraying high pressure like a beday on steroids and it is just covering this entire bathroom up to bottom just drenching this whole thing oh oh no it's like a lifetime for me i'm panicking trying to and the toilet paper's just mush now it doesn't matter i don't need to wipe before anyway did you not even get your pants up no no i'm just sitting down my ankles every like that yeah i'm being violated by a public toilet And this thing's just going off completely. It felt like a lifetime. Finally all the turns back on, you hear it like, nah.

Right, turn back on. And here I am, pants around my ankles, wrenched from head to toe. Absolutely stunned, not knowing what's going on. First to pull my pants up, I walk out of the toilet. And as I hit the door, the button on the door, the door opens up, and there's a guy who's seen me go in, bone dry, about a slug and I've never had the worst accident in my life. He's like, what, just went on there?

Pushed past them. You can't stand you make them on your feet and you're so did your shoes are wet. It's just really awkward. You're like, give that a minute. They give it a minute, mate. Do not go in here. Oh, that is great, Vincent.

Listen, that's a cool. That's such a great call. I can't remember a time before that story. The longer it went on, the better it got. It was so good. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The Hits.

You're embarrassing internet username. We've had many of the months. over the years through emails, through MySpace, still getting used, as I said before, with Roblox and things like that, you know? Thank you for sharing your username too, Megan. That was... Don't say that after you respect the whole time

ridiculing me. Music minks. Maybe I should change my email. Sometimes, too, you just want to go with your name and it's been taken, too. That's, I mean, maybe not in the music minks away. You might have tried, you know? Oh, they don't have Megan, I might as well just go,

music mings. Double X at the end, triple X while we were running. No, I think it was a single X. No, just single X. But like, capital law case, capital law case. Keeping a class. Kimbo, welcome. Hi, thank you.

Embarrassing usenames, email addresses from years gone by. What was it for you? Nickers 69. What years were you using Knickers with a Z, was it, I assume? Yes, it was with a Z. It was very fancy. Probably a good... Troy's just wanting us to clarify they were K's in the middle. N-I-K-A-Z.

That's right. Don't anyone miss hearing that? And so how many years did you have that for? Like underwear, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I used that for so many years, honestly. I was just, oh, cringe, yeah. I think I've told you that story before when we were doing a TV show overseas,

booking American actors and guests like this, and our producer at the time was talking to one of the agents, quite a serious phone conversation. They're like, I'll email the address through of the celebrities' house we're going to. It's like, watch your email, and we went, oh, oh, and he went, Sheep Boy, 007. It's wonderful it was. Because he had quite curly sort of sheep-like hair,

and we were just like, oh, oh, no. He said it out loud, we were like, oh, please don't say that out loud. Nothing screams professionalism like sheep-boy. From New Zealand, too, sheep-boy, you know? Not good for branding. Andrew, what was your embarrassing username? Oh, man, when I was younger,

my first email, I think, was Drew Balls at z-gmail.com. Andrew, Andrew, yeah. But then, you don't forecast when you set these things up, the professional nature. I'm still not one now that I'm like time and time again, I'm like, but I'm still rolling with it.

It's not quite Drew Bulls, but it's, you know. When did you have to delete Drew Bulls, mate? In general space. Yeah, a bit embarrassing when you're in general space and you've got to say that loud. Yeah, exactly, yeah. You're right.

You're right. Hey, thank you so much for you call Andrew. I see what, Andrew, Drew. Yeah. Could have chucked a P in the middle, had a bit of a, you know. Chuck. Hey,

oh, yeah. John O' Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. National Party seemed to going out on their own away from Act and New Zealand first

and saying that they want to push forward a social media ban. Looks like nothing will happen before the election and national need labour in this instance. Interesting that they had a thing going into the coalition

called the agree to disagree policy. I'd like that in every relationship. I'd like to say that to agree and disagree. Sometimes it's a good end to a thing. Oh no, great. Oh but sometimes you're like, I just keep, it's like, agree to disagree.

No, but I need you to hear my point. Yeah, but I hear it, but it doesn't change my mind is the thing. So agree to disagree, Megan. Why need you to change your mind? You guys are starting arguing, but you're not arguing about anything. But I'm like, yeah, sometimes I'll agree to disagree. I don't believe what you're saying. And it's the tone with what you says it.

Oh, I agree to disagree. Anyway, that's not what we're arguing about right now. Can we all agree that we can stop this agree to disagree conversation? Okay. So, you know, everyone's going to change their opinion just to you. That's why I agree to disagree. Hey, we just said we were going to stop. Well, I'm not stopping.

Well, look, an old married couple. I'm literally arguing about nothing, nothing. There's no topic at discussion here. So, oh, 800 of the hands. I agree to disagree with what Jono's having is that. Stop. It's also quite inflammatory too, isn't I? I can see where big is coming from.

Thank you. You know, it's not the first time that potentially things could be banned for kids. It's happened for general. Megan, you weren't allowed to watch. What, when you're younger? The Simpsons. Really?

Well, I get it. Which is your favourite, Ben? Yeah. I mean, it's got like some, I mean, not I'd say adult stuff, but it has some jokes that probably, but it feels like it's quite layered, you know? As a kid, you probably don't get some of those references. I seem to remember my parents saying something like they didn't like the way the dad was treated, like, as a dummy, like not a lot of respect for him, you know?

And they really went deep on the character out. Yeah. The little strangling of your kid. and stuff, but it's a cartoon, you know? I was with you, Ben, it's a whole different viewing experience when you watch The Simpsons back as an adult. You're like, oh, give that joke now. Yeah, and it's a really good joke.

Well, I've seen the movie there referencing here that I hadn't as a kid. But you know what, for me at home, the colour printer. Oh, if I used the colour printer and, yeah, that was a big thing. Oh, you would have been black, because sometimes it would default to, you know, colour and you just print something and be like, who's printed 24 pages of colour printer? And that was a big, yeah, that was a big, yeah. Now it doesn't matter because you have to replace the whole bloody in the toner anyway. And you're not even allowed to use the printer here at work as well.

So it's continued on into your adult years. Let's get Alex on the show. Good morning to you. Good morning. Lovely to have you on, Alex. What were you not allowed to do as a child in your household? I got banned from watching Power Rangers. I had three younger sisters and I used to line them all up and practice my moves on them one by one.

Oh, so it was for violence purposes, I see. Do you know the Power Rangers were actually banned in New Zealand officially? The Broadcasting Standards Authority upheld complaints from teachers and parents because people were doing exactly what you were doing, Alex. Really? It's been made in that. It was built in New Zealand, though, wasn't it? Yeah, it has been for years and years and years, but we banned it from our TVs.

Our mate, Nick, he was the yellow Power Ranger. That's right, yeah. Wasn't Kim Crossman the pink one? She was a Power Ranger, too? She was, yeah. Very crotchy outfits as well, the old Power Ranger. too. So thank you so much, Alex. Not allowed to watch the Power Rangers. I can understand why.

Now we've got Michelle, happy new year. Happy New Year, mate. Good to have you on, Michelle. In your household when you were growing up, you're a band from doing what? Listening to Libuskett. Oh, like John O'Cipras Hill. It was like Olympics, it wasn't. It's just one of those days we don't want to wake up.

Angry, angry, angry. Everybody sucks. It was the new metal era where everyone did suck. You guarantee you being like, everyone sucks. You're going to be like, don't listen to that, hon. Did you manage to sneak it into the house in Michelle? Yeah, we had burnt the old CDs, me and my friends, and mum had snapped them as soon as she lost to thought of it.

And you're like, where that came from, Mum? They were like 35 bucks back in the day, mum. I know. Well, Keeby's coming through, actually. What were the things that you weren't allowed to do as a kid? What you were banned from? I had a system of a down phase. Mum didn't love that.

Oh, yeah. Wake up! I mean, I quite liked Marilyn Manson at one point too. I think she was like, oh my lordy. What are we raising here? What are we reading? We went through the goth years. I think a lot of girls went through the goth year.

John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. A conversation that's gone on for producer Grace for four days. Yeah, I had moved on with my life, but I did it. I asked producer Troy a question the other day. Is the moon the same size as Earth? And then Grace just kicked off screaming.

from the top of her lungs. This might be the dumbest person I've ever known. Yeah. And four days later... I'm still thinking about it. Still thinking about it. And just we're discussing, again, pre-show. Is this the dumbest question?

And you know what? It's probably not even the ten dumbest things I've asked about the moon, to be honest. I like this text come through. I'd argue with Grace that trying to talk in the middle of the road is more stupid than the question. Thank you. I mean, yes. No, that lacks common sense. Yeah, I'll give it to them.

She's book smart. She's not street smart. Yeah, I agree. literally standing in the middle of the street. So, oh, it happened with the hits. We did one to pre-show. Am I the only person who's asked this question? Or listening to this information this morning?

There's some calls coming through. So it's set there on your side or not? On both sides. I think, Jill. Yes. Well, when you said it, I kind of thought, well, of course it's smaller because you could see the edge with the flag. And then I was like, isn't it?

You know, so I had to Google it. You had to Google it. Okay. All right. Well, you could have Googled it. That would have probably been a smarter thing for you. Yeah. Just silently filled in my head.

head and then you're right mine and Johnno is innocent I think is innocent to thinking about it and thank you Jill and look in your defence

space is a particular interest of producer Troy producer Grace love space she does yeah that and science and all the elements it's not your thing

go away bad you like Disney yeah I do I do we've got to our things worries Disney I know every day okay good on you Jill thank you so much

listen Brian, first you've heard of this moon fact. Brian. It's blowing his mind. He's had to go off and do some further research. He can't comprehend it. Duncan, you're on. Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, boys. How are we? Doing well, Duncan. The dumbest question I've ever asked. Would you agree? To be fair, there's no such thing as a dumb question. And the only reason you know that now is because you've asked the question. You didn't make the statement.

You didn't argue the fact you asked the question and found out the answer. Well, Duncan, aren't you a reasonable human being? That makes me feel bad. Yeah, but he could have just Googled it and not put me through that torture. So why people were afraid to ask Christians, you know? Oh, thank you. I should have learned it at school, Dane. I probably did.

It probably was told to me. He would have, but he's like delete stuff out of his brain that he feels like he doesn't need. I can sing the whole taxed wonder dog commercial though if you want me to do that. Yeah, that's not really obvious. Yeah, Duncan, thank you. You're street smart, though, babes. In some respects, that's better. So many texts of people that is concerning that didn't know that fact.

Like, I'll take it on the chin. I'm not surprised I'd know that fact. But maybe people just haven't thought about it. Yeah, right. Okay, all right. Okay, moving on from here. Onwards it upwards. I'll let you send out a company-wide email, Grace, saying how dumb I was again.

Can I ask just one question? What's bigger, the earth or the sun? Don't answer that. definitely don't answer that we've got to answer that we've got to move on with the show John O'Ben and Megan The podcast The Hits

Come along and get in one of my costumes To try and save them So we can put them to good use It'll be great to have you along I'm trying to decide what costume to wear And producer grace has taken some photos Put her up on the Hits Breakfast story None of them

You can text the costume to 4487 If you want to vote on which costume I wear You realize you've got a microphone In front of your face We can hear your sarcasm What was that one you sent to the group? Or someone sent to the group chat? Was it upside down clown?

Like, what is wrong with you? That's a good one. That's the one that I think I hope wins. Because the thing is I'm not upside down. It just looks like I'm upside down. But where do you see out of it? It's actually quite visible. It's clever we invention that one.

So describe it. It grosses me out how it's like jazzed you are about it. It's inflatable, but it looks like an inflatable clowns, but it looks like the clown's doing a handstand and walking on its hands. But then in real life it looks like your face is in the clown's groin. I'm just standing normally. That's the beauty. I can walk along but it'll look like the clown is...

We get it. Is going along, you know? Did you see the comment our boss made with that photo? What? She was like, what, you've got a problem. Who said that? Have you used that costume? Our boss, carry it.

Like, you definitely have a problem. Don't get defensive about that. Have you used that for any purpose? Someone said nightmare fuel. Yep. Someone took the Lord's name in vain. Yeah. I'm not even religious

that I feel comfortable reading that out Someone else said that's effing cool That's right No, that was Troy Yeah, that's great I'm with you Troy, thank you Troy Do you have you answer the question Ever used that costume?

Briefly but it's But not for anything special like this Well you can vote for what costume Ben's gonna wear At the Hitsbreakfast dot code on in Z It's not up yet on the pole Hopefully no one pulls a muscle While doing our 27 metre shortest parade in the world

That was a tie into the phone topic we're about to engage with. Karen, morning to you. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. There's a bloody roller coaster this morning, Kass. How did you pull a muscle? We're just in the most mundane fashion.

So on Saturday I was just gardening for a couple hours, and I was sort of twisting quite a lot. And then I sneezed and did a muscle between my ribs. Oh. And it was so painful. I was up pretty much all night. It had on Sunday to wake my neighbour at 7 a.m. to take me down to tarot because we live a bit out of tarot.

Oh no, just from a sneeze. I sat there for four hours and got some codeine, yeah. And your intercostal muscle? I don't know what is muscle. It's down the lower ribs down on the left side and every time you cough, it's just, oh my God, it's so painful. I don't know what's worse, Karen. You're one or someone who's text through Jade has just texted

saying, I used to work as a bartender and one day I was shaking a cocktail. And you know what ever next? Tora muscle doing the back muscle. Oh, she was really shaking. It was, Jay. Damn. And you look so cool when you're doing that.

You do. Oh, geez. Oh, that's unfortunate. I appreciate you cool, Karen. Corey, great to have you on, mate. We're hanging on tenterhawks, my friend. What muscle did you hurt? Good morning.

I can actually do better than that. I did a disc injury. so it was quite severe. It was a week after my wedding. We couldn't quite get away on a honeymoon. I thought we'll have a little date night. So I did it doing a paint-by-numbers. What?

What? Like, it's basically colouring in. You injured yourself. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, so what I did was I slightly bent, and the disc went. The discreet? You slightly beat?

I could, yep. I was at maybe not even a 45-degree angle, and it just completely went. Wow. And I couldn't move, couldn't get up for about half for now and it was about three months of recovery. Oh my goodness. People like the boss, like, what did you do?

You were doing something physical? It's like, no, I just slightly bent over. You need to make up another story for that. Was your partner with you? Yeah, yeah, she was right next to me. She was very shocked at what happened. She tried to type me up and I was like, just leave me, just leave me.

You just got married. She's like, this is definitely the full better, this is definitely the worst part. But she's like, wait, what did you do? What did you do? Oh my goodness. John O'Ben and Megan The podcast

The Hats I'm the text Great story here I was lucky enough to go to the Guns and Rose's concert Even more lucky to hang out with the stage lighting And sound team afterwards

Oh wow We're all having a drink After the show And this person came up And they were being rather obnoxious And I turned around I said you need to pull your head in mate And it was Axel Rose

Oh the lead singer Yeah And then he'd be like Excuse me I need to move up a head Such a New Zealand thing to say, too. I don't care you are, mate. Pull your head and mate.

Pipe down. So that was from Brooke. Yeah, so keep these coming through 4-4-8-7, celebrities that you've had an interaction with and you had no idea. Well, someone's come through now, have they, producer Troy. There's always that famous picture

that does the rounds every now, every so often on the internet when someone was taking a photo of Matthew Broderick with their child. And they had a guy behind them who Matthew Rod Broderick was with and went, can you get out of the photo? and the guy sort of backs away to the side of the photo

and you can just see him awkwardly in the side of the photo trying to get out of the way and it was Jerry Seinfeld. No idea at the time until showing people later. He was like, oh no, I made Jerry Seinfeld. Get on the photo, mate. Get on the photo. He was still in the photo. Yeah. Yeah.

But just, yeah, like, I'll be like, oh, okay, I guess I can. I mean, one of the joys of being, you know, this sort of New Zealand crap liberty is you get told to stay about of photos all the time. At the time, yeah. A really humbling experience. Charlotte, you're on the radio. Can you believe it?

What's that, John? You're on the radio. Dream come true. I don't believe many mornings I wake up. I don't really believe many things, but you know, that's okay. You made it to the radio, baby. Now, who did you? What celebrity did you have an interaction with,

and you had no idea who it was at the time? Well, I'll tell you the story. And the punchline is the celebrity. I was working away. I used to work in a very big company. He used to an interesting job. and I didn't realize that I interacted with the company that he was involved with I didn't know who he was so anyway

he chatted away and he turns up in my office standing at the door him and one of his subordinates standing behind him out of his line of vision and he's talking away to me and he's talking about the business I'm like yeah yeah and he's hinting around he's talking about sports and I'm like oh yeah okay yeah and he's chatting away about all the stuff and he said you know sales have kind of dropped a wee bit and I'm saying oh yeah and I was looking at the books and he just sort of said he was kind of hinting around, you know, that it wasn't a great thing. And the short and the long of us, we're talking away, and he turned around,

he got so frustrated with me because he kept dropping hints, and he stamped his feet, and he said to me, don't you know who I am? Oh, you got a don't you know who I am? Oh, I got it. Don't you know who I am? And I turn around, I said, genuinely, oh, no, I'm really sorry. I don't. I mean, I do sport, but not the sport.

He said, well, I'm Sir Gordon Titchens. and the guy behind him that worked for him was just rolling on the floor and I said to him oh my god I said I know your brother he owns the four square store down the road at that point he's been around and walked out the door oh you know the four square guy rugby coaching legend Gordon ditches oh thank you for cool Charlotte appreciate it no worries it guys bye