Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 1: We're Now Godparents..

Episode Date: April 16, 2023

We have got a brand new burner phone and want your voicemails! get in contact with us 0272633285.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burnaphone Cook is bringing his syphilis to New Zealand. Maybe not like that. Let's go with something less problematic. What was the name of that horse? Farlap. Farlap. Did he win the Melbourne Cup? Yeah, won some races. Australia and New Zealand tried to claim it. So maybe the Aussies will try and claim this too.

This is the burner phone. Now, what we've done is we've bought a phone. Like you would, you'd go to the petrol station and you'd buy a phone. If you're a drug dealer or you're having an affair. Basically, you're like, who's buying these $20 phones with these prepaid SIM cards? Well, those are the people. Derek from Accounts, who's having an affair with Sonia from HR.

That's not out there. HR, who would have thought the lady from HR too? Not me, I wouldn't have picked it. But what we've done in all seriousness is we've bought a phone and we've got a number, you can find it on the Hits Breakfast on Instagram, on Facebook, if you want the number. And every day we'll go and we'll clear a message. Now, we've put the message out there in our social media,

and this is exciting. We recorded a message for the phone, and I, to be honest, I'm not sure what we're going to get. And every day we'll delve into a different message. You can say, you can ask us a question. You can request something. Whatever it is, it's on you to provide this. This is yours as much as it is ours, this Burner Phone segment on the podcast.

I also thought the number, which is 0272633285, I also thought this number could come in handy for any scenarios where someone's come up to you in a restaurant and they're like, hey, I like the cut of your jib, and you're like, oh, you don't like confronting conversations, you don't want to hurt their feelings, give them this number. Oh, yeah. Just go, hey, give me a call on this number,

and then we can deal with the fallout. Yeah, that's right. Let's use this phone to your advantage, and we'll use it to our advantage. So let's get in and let's clear the first message today on the burner phone. This is history. First history first sorry hold on producer b hubs has just walked in here did you know we're about creating history now ben just said we're about to create history and you're looking at the important like mouthing something and pointing your arms around what's going on i was just

thinking john do you want to sit over in this chair oh for the video footage now we're worried about video coverage we want to promote this burner phone. I can swap mics, we'll keep rolling. This is really pulling back the curtain. Okay here we go. Okay so what I'll do is I'll get moving. I'll go get Joel. I feel like this is not as historic and as polished as we all hoped it would be.

Now the problem being is now I'm in this position away from the buttons Ben. I can't push the voicemail. Oh jeez, you're pushing my buttons right now. Okay. I'll come back over. Okay, play the message. This is the first message you ever received.

First new voice message. It is marked urgent from... Yeah, hi, boys. It's my daughter's first birthday this weekend, and I was just wondering if there was any chance of her untitled, unofficial godparents being yourselves,

if you're able to maybe make a deposit of $300 towards her future schooling funds. I'm happy to give you my bank account number. You can also do it by cash. Yeah, really looking forward to hearing back from you boys. Why do I feel like I'm being extorted? It's a burner phone It brings the best and the worst out in people What would you describe that? It was nice and heartfelt

I mean the opportunity for us to be godparents Are you a godparent? I am and I'm not a very good one to be honest And I feel bad about it Who's your godparent? I am and I'm not a very good one to be honest And I feel bad about it Who's your godchild? Benji What's Benji's birthday? He has a birthday, yeah he does

What date was it again? Let's not put all Benji's details out there on the radio mate I like to keep these things from it The good thing is it's not on the radio Ben It's just a podcast so you can't There is time For you to tell us in detail. Look, I've got it written down, but not currently on me right now. But you betcha when that rolls around.

What's the last thing you did? Summit, I said I'm not a very good one. What was the last thing you did for Benji? Look, to be fair, I've got a lot of guilts. Maybe one or two, most two Christmases ago that i had done anything so i dropped off i got some stuff together and i dropped it off for christmas but then i got to last christmas and then you know you have so many people you buy for and i was like oh i didn't even i did it one year you should have written on the card this will do you for the next 20 so yeah so

i'm not a great godparent but i'd love the opportunity to not start afresh because Benji's still there. He's my guy. I love Benji. He'd like to start afresh because you can't go and ask for Benji's birthday now. No, I've got to. I don't need to, mate. It's all written down. They're just not going to say it on the podcast.

It's just been very cagey about the details. I don't know why I'm throwing you under the bus because I'm exactly the same. I'm a godfather to Kenzie, little Kenzie. Don't ask me the birthday. Okay, I won't. why I'm throwing you under the bus Because I'm exactly the same I'm a godfather to Kenzie Little Kenzie Don't ask me the birthday And I'm shocking I'm absolutely Like Kenzie came over

And I Jason Tiff Kenzie's parents Brought her over And I was like What is she now Four And they're like

Mate She's one I can't even gauge the age Of babies Yeah So Both of us combined We'll be shocking godparents.

But saying that with $300 towards schooling, like, we don't have, we got. Well, do we have budget for this? Like, this is, I don't think we have financial wherewithal to give $300 on the first episode of The Burner Phone. You're already wanting to set a benchmark that we're going to be paying people off? But I do like it. It's nice. It's heartfelt. It's helping out someone.

Should we call Perriott, our boss here? We can call Perriott. Did I say Perriott? Can we call Harriet? Yeah, we can call Harriet. Now, Harriet is the... Perriott, as she likes to be called. Don't have her birthday, sorry.

I've got that written down. We can call her. I just saw her walk into the toilet, though, so that might be a bit weird. That's fine, mate. We can call anyone anytime. It's the burner phone. So we're going to go through to Harriet now, upper management of the HITS radio station. She controls the purse strings.

Hello, Harriet speaking. Hello, Harriet. As you like to be known. How are you? Good. How are you? We're doing all right. Now, firstly, are you out of the bathroom are you? We're doing all right.

Now, firstly, are you out of the bathroom? Oh, yes, I'm out of the bathroom. I'm in the meeting room now. Oh, good, because it would have been kind of weird if we're talking to you when you're in the bathroom. So you're out of the bathroom. That's good. Now, obviously, you're aware of the burner phone that you helped us purchase for the hits. Yes, very exciting concept. Look forward to hearing what comes in.

How excited are you episode one history in the making as we've been calling it history in the making for you to set aside a budget of 300 so we can become godparents i thought this was going to be like unlocking gossip and scandal from listeners and solving problems not becoming godparents and giving out all our money so did i I. So did I. Like, it's not a great benchmark to set. It's like, on this show, we're going to give away money

on a podcast. It smells of desperation. Yeah, you don't want to do that. And maybe like a little bit of bribery. But it's a great way to start. Great way to start. But I don't want other people listening to this to go,

oh, they just give me money if I phone up and go, oh, I've lost a leg or something. We're sitting a bit of a president here if we give away $300 for you guys to become godparents. And then how many godkids are you going to have around the country? I don't know. How many kids does Ben have around the country?

He's never answered that question. I don't like answering birthdays and also how many kids I have around the country. A lot of paternity tests pending. Okay, so Harriet, can we get an approval of this budget one time only? One time only, you can have $300. But if you're going to carry this on, you're going to have to go out and find yourself a sponsor. Okay, so we've got $300.

So this is pulling back the curtain. Find a sponsor. These are the realities of commercial broadcasting, isn't it? Thank you so much, Harriet. Thanks, Perriott. You're very lucky. Thank you. We are.

We are. Very generous lady, Harriet. That's awesome. That's very kind of you. But I think... Imagine if just getting $300 was that easy every time you needed $300. I feel like we need to make it official. Like, we can't be unofficial Godparents, right?

We're going to go through Andy, his name. But we want to... yeah, you're right. If we're handing over, this is where the negotiation comes in, Ben. If we're handing over cash, get rid of this unofficial stuff. Scrap the actual godparents and replace them with us.

I imagine if we're handing over $300,000, I want him to scrap the current godparents for both of us. Yeah, like unofficial. I don't want unofficial unofficial godparents i'm with you on a plaque you want to play it's gonna cost 300 bucks i've been doing this plaque all right like a certificate will you print me one from clip out yeah i'll get you one okay listen we're not going to get an answer so we leave the first historic episode of The Burner Phone on a cliffhanger.

Will Andrew accept our offer of three? Hello? Hey, good morning. Oh! Andrew, sorry. Johnno was wrapping it up. I was wrapping up a cliffhanger. Andrew, it's Johnno and Ben, The Burner Phone, episode one.

Oh, that was nice. That was nice, don't be silly. Yeah, that's us, Johnno and Ben. We got your message. You were our first message that we cleared from the phone. Oh, yeah. So let's talk. Let's talk.

Okay, so you said unofficial as the unofficial godparents to your daughter. That's correct. Yes, you guys are. I'm quite glad it got through to you guys. Now, who are the official ones? Well, that's the thing. You've got to go unofficial before you go official, so we don't have official ones yet.

So what would it take to be official godparents of your daughter? Well, hey, you know, obviously it's a very close thing to our hearts and very emotional, but anything can be brought. Even your child? No, I'm a hand, you know. It depends what numbers we're talking. Child, have we just bought ourselves a child? Okay, let's say...

Oh, help me out. Okay, so you wanted us to invest $300 in Kenzie. That's her name. That's her name. That's the one, yep. Do you have already got a goddaughter named Kinsey? Yes, but the difference is you get to share it with the two of you. Yeah.

With, you know, your best mates. So, you know, what's better than that, being joint godparents? What are you expecting out of us, Andrew? Yeah, yeah, in the future. Well, you know, it's one of those things that, let's talk short term, you know, you pay your way in, and then we just forget about it, and then we just move on from there. And I'll just remind her that once you did have these great unofficial godparents, that I'm willing to make you official for one day. Oh, okay, so you're saying, listen, basically just give me cash and we'll all move on with life. Pretty much.

That's where we're at. Well, Andrew. Yes. We're here to talk turkey, and we're here to say that we are willing to invest in the education of Kenzie's future. $300. I like that.

I like that, and she would love it too we're going to put $300 in her bank account that's for her future from her from her well official godparents you two are amazing

thank you so much that's alright what birthday we've got to get a birthday at least we get one when's the birthday oh she's 32

no I'm kidding that would have been well played. And I've been Kinsey the whole time. You really played us well. So when was Kinsey's birthday? Because you guys took ages to get back to me. You missed it.

It was yesterday, so you're not in good form at this stage. Oh, we sandwiched best, sir. Okay, alright. So yesterday was her birthday, which winner for his birthday. Okay. Okay, all right. So yesterday was her birthday, which was the 16th of April. We'll put that in the calendar? I look forward to not hearing from you next year

and you forgetting. Oh, no, we're not going to. We're going to put it in the calendar. We are going to remind ourselves. Now, do you want us to be part of any important decision-making in her life? Yeah, you keep in touch with that, all right? I definitely will. Whenever we need

financial help towards her life, we'll let you know. Or we could just be part of, you know, like, what's the theme for the party going to be? Or things like that. It doesn't always, you know, what time the netball game's going to be on the week. Those sorts of things. Yes, we'll keep you, we'll definitely keep you informed. Okay, that'd be

good. You're not going to. He just wants to milk us for money. Andrew, love your work. Thank you for being part of episode one of The Burner Phone. No problem. Thanks so much for calling. Well, there we go. That was a successful episode one. I quite liked it. Yeah, so that's The Burner Phone. If you want to leave us a message, you can do so.

You can find the number on our social media, but right now... 0272633285 will clear The Burner phone voicemail every day no not on saturdays and sundays yeah or maybe we could do a special weekend edition let's keep the burner phone going any messages at all be it random whatever you want you can ask us anything uh we'll put it forward on the burner phone and we'll deal with that tomorrow have a great day send us your burning question check out the links in the podcast description