Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 13: The Changing Room Scandal...

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burner Phone. Now I'm going to get the admin out of the way early. Oh good, good. If you'd like to be part of the Burner Phone, you can text Burner Phone to 4487. We'll fire back the cell phone number for you to leave us a voicemail. This is the first episode, if it is the first episode. What's the Burner Phone? What's the Burner Phone?

Well, let me explain. It's a Burner Phone that we bought, purchased from a petrol station. And it's been blowing up. You can leave us a message. We'll tackle each message individually, one by one per episode. It's blowing up a lot more

than my phone. My phone doesn't blow up. Does your phone blow up? No, no, it doesn't blow up. So now and again, messages will blow up

on like WhatsApp groups or something that I'm part of. Like if like mates or those ones that really love their sport and sometimes they'll be like, you know, get up in the morning, I'm like, whoa, jeez, there was like 97 comments across an NRL game or an NBA game or something, you know.

That sort of stuff. But it's not normally things for me. For you, directly, yeah, it's a group situation. I'm kind of scared if my phone blew up. I'll be like, oh, God, who's trying to track me down? What's going on? You wouldn't want a phone that blew up. It would give you so much anxiety, doesn't it?

I mean, the main people that communicate with me, you, Jennifer, my wife, and that's about it. Okay. I do like your message. Your message is my favorite message. What is the message? Should we call it? I don't even know what the message is. No, no.

I do enjoy your message because the bit of phone's all about clearing messages. I do enjoy your message. Because the bit of phone's all about clearing messages. I do like yours. It's almost like, I think there's a bit of an exasperated, but there's nothing. There's nothing there. It's just, yeah, there's nothing. Oh, there's no like, hey. There's nothing.

No, have a listen. Very mysterious. I like it. Have a listen. I can't even remember leaving this. It would have been years ago. Let's deny that call. Okay.

What does it say? At the tone, record your message. That's what makes me laugh. It's almost like... He went to go and do a message, but just didn't have the life in him. No, it's just like... That sums up clearing voice messages. I was probably like, who's going to leave me a message?

No one calls this thing. That was that. Now I get that, no one else gets it. So that does like, who's going to leave me a message? No one calls this thing. That was that. Now I get that. No one else gets it. So that does make me smile every time I get through any message. Today we are clearing the burner phone with, this is a wonderful story that happened in a changing room. Have a listen to this.

So I had to be rescued from a sports bra that I was trying on in Ripper Sports. I put it on, realised I couldn't breathe, tried to take it off, and it rolled up in a tight band across my chest, kind of like Anthony Kiedis on the cover of his book, Scar Tissue, but nothing like that. I figured if it had gone on, it would have to come off. Sorry, there was a message coming through, I'll just reset it. On the cover of his book, scar tissue, but nothing like that. I figured if it had gone on it would have to come off, but no, no, it wasn't keen. So an assistant from Rebel Sports had to come along and rescue me.

That was really embarrassing. After she had left, I quickly got dressed and left the store and haven't been back since. So this is a thank you for your message. This is a great message. So trying on the sports bra, trying to remove it, rolls up into a band. She's stuck with her arms in the air. I imagine everything on display at this point as well with this band.

And having to call for help. I imagine everything on display at this point as well with this bad like and having to call for help like there's so many things you would try and do before calling for help in that situation oh totally I do wonder

and I think our mate Guy Williams has this comedy bit about it you know like because they often do they often knock on the door and go are you alright in there and he was like well what's got to go wrong

this is what happens this is why this is probably why the go, are you all right in there? And he was like, well, what's got to go wrong? This is what happens. This is why. This is probably why the people go, are you okay in there? Because maybe you're not okay. I'm trapped in a pair of chinos that I tried to put on as a jersey. I love the fact that her hands are just above her head. Yeah. And so she's having to call for help.

Obviously, the assistant from Rebel Sport is to come in, sees everything on display. Like, how do you winch the sports bar off the top? Sam Wallace, who works here in the building as well, we got told that story. He told that story the other day where he set off, accidentally sent off a smoke alarm. In a hotel room.

In a hotel room. Got up on a stool. He just got out of the shower. I think it was smoke from the- Steam. Steam, yeah, from the shower. He got up on a stool to try and see if he could you know do something with the smoke alarm to stop it from beeping like that fully naked no tell and just as they burst in the hotel management to try and sort out the fire he's standing on a stool with his arms up above

with his hands on the sprinkler just full nude what a great like i mean i mean he's spot. What a man. Well, great. I mean, he's a great looking guy, but great image of just like, you know. Like there's no more of me I can show right now. Like this is me. This is me. Like it or not, I'm here.

Right up, standing above, like up, up, you know, on a pedestal for you to look at. And this is when he was a weatherman, and it looks like there's a full frontal coming on. Because then you'd walk in and be like, is that the weatherman? Is he just, what is he doing? What is he doing? Sorry, guys, the smoke alarm.

Have you ever been trapped in a changing room or a precarious position like that? No, no. I mean, you have an issue because you wait outside a lot of girls changing rooms for your daughters who are inside shows i should really have led with that yeah i do have an issue with that particular thing it goes instantly from like oh you know if i go into a store my kids often will go shopping i'd be like oh that's i feel like the vibe is oh that's cute they're out to you know dad daughters they're going to glasses whatever but as soon as they go on the changing

room as soon as they're out of sight and i'm just there by myself i'm like i feel like the eyes and the mood changes yeah people are looking at like what's this creep doing here why is he hanging out on the changing room what's he doing you know like it's funny how it is you've sort of got that security sort of yeah with kids around, you know. And I'm just there with the kids. But then you're like, what do you do? Well, it's like when you lose your kids at a playground. The mood changes.

It does. I remember my dad telling me a story years ago when I was little. I had to go to the bathroom somewhere in a shop. And I think they only had one toilet there. And he went in there. And basically, it was a young kid going there, and he had to wait outside. But this lady came in, and she's like, excuse me, what are you doing here? I think it was the woman's bathroom or something.

And he was like, I'm waiting for my son. And he remembered knocking on the door going, please, dear God, Ben, respond. As he goes, you Ben, you in there? If I'd known that was going on, and the prankster in me could have just stitched him up. You could have got your dad arrested. Remember the oh jeez, remember that thing we were on the traffic light tour? We were on this thing where

it was the end of the traffic light system here in New Zealand. Which was the COVID system, right? So we celebrated by going around having, was it 54 or 55 traffic light drinks. Yeah, it was a lot. Restaurants, bars, and cafes around the place.

And I had got into a really, because obviously a lot of liquid flowing through us. Ben, you were rather, we were both rather leaky. Yes. So we were visiting the bathrooms at locations. And I started a little hidden camera show called What Are You Doing In There? So Ben would come out of the toilet and boom,

there'd be a camera in front of his face. What are you doing in there, sir? And it was, you know, you'd give a funny reaction and it was fine. You kept doing it to me every time because I was very leaky. So I'd go to the bathroom quite a lot of times. And as I would come out, I'd be like, oh, mate's waiting outside. I'd go, what are you doing in there? Yeah, so it was my new hidden camera show, What Are You Doing In There?

But it backfired. The format had its flaws because I went into one bar. I thought you were in this particular bathroom stall. The door opened. I'm like, bang. Well, you're on What Are You Doing In There, sir? What do you want to say on What Are You Doing In There? And it was a lady.

Your phone right up there. I mean, fortunately, she was fully clothed. She was, but she had just walked in. She was like, what? She saw the look of pure fear. Why are you filming? And, you know, I'm mentioning before, you know, people walking in finding Sam the weatherman butt naked going,

is that the guy from the, what do you think she would have been going, is that the guy from the TV now filming woman walk out of bathrooms? Oh, jeez. It was a low point. So that is another episode of the Burner Phone. If you want to leave us messages, John, I said before, you can text BURNER to 4487. We'll flick you back the number, and we'll see what next time's

conversation ends up being thanks to your messages. The Hits with John Owen Behan's Burner Phone.