Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - The Burner Phone 24: Pun-Day??

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

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The Hits with Jono and Ben's Burner Phone. Messages get left by you. And if you want the number, you can text a burner to 4487 and we'll flick you back the number. You can leave a message. Now, before we get into it, Jono, quick question. Just reading an article. This is a real article from a couple of years back. And I wanted to see if you could guess the headline. Okay. Is it a pun?

Yeah. Well, yes, it kind of is. So fans were worried at the time that Robert Downey Jr. had looked sick because of his vegan diet. So what would the pun be along the lines of? Would it do with one of his most famous roles? Robert Feeling Downey? Dr. Doolittle something?

No, think Avengers. Oh, Iron Man. Lacking Iron Man. Yeah, it was a long year. Iron Deficiency Man was the headline. I thought that was very clever. He looks fantastic, Downey Jr. He's gone with your sort of hairdo at the moment, isn't he?

He sort of whipped it all off as well. I thought he was looking good as well. Imagine Iron Deficiency Man as a superhero just sort of turning up. Just enough. I've got the energy for this, guys. You guys go on. Now, Black Widow, Spider-Man You guys go on, Hulk

I might have a quick half hour nap Maybe I'm lacking an eye and I'm always napping You are always napping aren't you Yeah Downey Jr He I think Now this might be one of those things that I've just plucked out of thin air And I'm just faking you misinformation I'll have to tell you about the helicopter

But I'll do that very shortly He I think when he signed up to the Avengers, signed a contract where he... You've told me this before, but I'll verify it. Where he gets like I don't know, is it 10% or some percentage of

the international sales, ticket sales of the Avengers franchise, which results in hundreds of millions of dollars. Am I in the ballpark with that fact? Is it 5%, 10%? Is it true? Here's the thing, OK, sorry.

While Ben's looking at that, I spread some misinformation about the police helicopter, that it can measure the heartbeats, the heart rates of motorists from the sky. And I discussed this with the police officer on Friday night. False. All lies. Made up by me.

Misinformation. Misinformation. So I apologise to the New Zealand police for that. It's certainly the rumour floating around on the internet. I'm just trying to find something. About the percentage that he gets. Yeah, if they're saying you get a percentage. Some people are saying, well, that's a deal between the, I reckon 8%.

8% is what they have rumoured to have going on. But then other people said, well, that's a deal, a private deal between him and them. Yeah, how do we all know that it's 8%? Yeah, 8% of the back-end deal. Yeah, and also gets a starting salary as well, but a lower salary. Expected to make $75 million for one of the Avengers recently. Woo-wee! He's doing all right.

Don't you worry about his iron deficiency. He's doing all right. Let's get to today's message. Received at 7.06 p.m. Hi, Jonah and Ben. Huge fan here. My name is Peter. I'm currently driving at a North Western motorway,

and it's 7pm now. Now, traffic is so bad all the time. So my question is, how do you, you know, what to do to, you know, get through the traffic? I mean, what sort of things that you would do in your car to, you know. To pass the time, I'm guessing, right? Somehow. Ben, I know you like to rush things along, but you can't rush along a voicemail.

A bit of traffic, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean, Peter. I feel like I can respond to that. Anyway, you'd better listen to your podcast every day. Oh, that's awesome day while sitting in traffic. So thank you. I guess I answered my own question. Bye.

Peter was awesome with it. Yeah, I guess that's an option for traffic, isn't it? You've just answered. He got to the end of that and he's like, well, I listen to podcasts. If you, Ben Boyce, you're the Minister of Traffic, is that such a thing? Transport, I think.

Yeah. What are you doing? What are you coming in with? How are you solving the problems of blocked motorways across this nation? It is really tough because, you know, if you're lucky enough to go to any city around the world that's not New Zealand, it seems like most cities...

Don't you say at all. Don't you say at all. No, no, no. Most cities have a good... People go, oh, take the tube. I'll take the thing say no no most cities have a good like people go oh take the tube i'll take the thing you know they have a public transport system that a lot of people like to use um but it seems like big cities in new zealand like auckland it's just not and they're trying wellington wellington's well yeah trains and buses are pretty popular in wellington they

seem to have it a bit more down pat whereas whereas, I don't know, just for some reason everyone... Cross Church is a tram? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do. It's nice. I wouldn't say many people would get to work on the tram, but they do. It's sort of an old school sort of throwback. You know? Yeah. It's tough. It's tough, you know, because they're trying, but it feels like the city's already, you know, it's...

It's gone, yeah. Now we're like, we're building an underground road, you know, transport thing and it's like, when's that going to be gonna be i mean we'll be dead before that thing's up and running like we could you and me we could probably take public transport we couldn't you you can take it it's five o'clock in the morning no no but but you're right you know and and you know people more people could take public transport but the problem is when you've had so many people used to just going in their cars conveniently from door to door, chukka, chukka, you know, a two-kilometer walk to a bus stop in the mix in your morning. I know they were talking about banning cars from the central city at one point.

Yeah. It's very expensive for parking too, isn't it? How does that work? Ben Boyce, you're a struggling parent, okay, which you are. Yeah. Sienna's fallen ill at school, has come down with the plague. What are you doing? You're going to have to go, hold there, I'll be there in a second,

I'll just hop on a bus, meet you at the school, then we'll bus home together. Yeah, or I guess an Uber or a taxi is another potential option in that situation. It's like a minute to public transport, public transport aim i don't know i should only should my daughters come down with a plague i should only travel by public transport then everyone on the bus was like is she gonna play yeah spread it around everyone spin it around okay all right so you're saying you're well yeah but you're right or uber home and get the car in

that situation or something so I can put my plague-ridden daughter in my own car so I don't spread it to the Uber driver. But it is tricky. You're right. It is tricky. But it's probably just habit. Mates that do catch the bus as well,

and they get a lot faster from particularly over the North Shore. Yeah. Flying cars. Flying cars? Your thoughts. Can we be trusted with flying cars? I don't know. No.

I don't know. I love this thing, and I've said it before, the road to zero. This campaign to have zero deaths on the road. With no, like, this is what you need to do. Or this is what we're going to do to have zero. You can't have zero deaths on the road. I know it's terrible. I mean, one death's more than enough.

That's horrible. That's too much. And I want deaths on the road. No. But you're just setting this unrealistic target of saying, no one's going to die on the road. I'm like, how? Yeah.

And every time I say, how? We interviewed Jacinda Ardern when she was Prime Minister. She's like, oh, it's just great to have goals. I was like, but how? But unfortunately, it's not an achievable goal. And that's the sad thing. I wouldn't have thought so. Unless you ban all, so no one's allowed on the road, then maybe that's the only way around it.

Even with driverless cars, when we reach that level of technology, you'll go, well, there's probably going to be accidents. Probably people might get run over or malfunctioning cars. There's no way you can have zero deaths on the road. I want it. Don't get me wrong.

Might be right. Artificial intelligence. It's no way you can have zero deaths on the road. I want it. Don't get me wrong. Might be right. Artificial intelligence. Yeah. It's coming over. Maybe they can solve it though, Jono. Now, this is my other thing with the bloody robots. Got to be worried about those robots, mate. They're starting to talk to each other.

Developing their own language. Here we go. Read the article. Google it. Stop telling me to Google all this stuff. Use your own internet. That's what you're saying, eh? Yeah.

I did like, there was a great social media post over the weekend I read to do with AI. And they're like, why don't we get AI to clean the plastic from the ocean rather than, or can it only do screenplays? That's a very good point. It's like artificial intelligence, we're probably using it for the wrong things. Yeah, like the first wave, all we did was slap famous people's faces on, just famous people's faces onto pornography actors.

And we're like, this is great. It looks like bloody Angela Merkel's, you know. Yeah. Facts on Giorno Pryor. Half of these are wrong. Oh, that's hilarious, you know. Right. It seems like a wonderful piece of technology. Maybe we should refocus what we're doing.

Yeah, I thought, you know, obviously that was satirical, like a comedic tweet. But I was like, oh, there's something in that. Like, we could focus its energy more on that. Leaf Humans would be doing a pretty good job of writing screenplays for many years. That's right. You know? Raise my kids. You know?

AI, raise your kids. There's a lot better things What would you get AI To do for you If there's one thing That you hate doing in your day And you're like Geez AI could nail that for me

Oh Oh That's a very good question Is it You know Sit in Sit in traffic Traffic

Maybe that we've just Solved the traffic crisis With AI Well but then What are we doing though How are we doing Yeah No okay

No I take that back yeah because it I don't know what you got anything off the top of your head that you'd do what would I do shower for me

you know basic hygiene which just takes up unnecessary time in my day you don't teeth cleaning flossing

showering I like the shower but if someone did that for you you could get more I know you're a guy who likes to do stuff with AI like is AI hopping in there's, I like the shower. But if someone did that for you, you could get more, I know you were going like, with AI?

Like, is AI hopping in there with me? I'm like, ooh, hello. You can clear emails while AI washes you. Oh yeah,

okay. Soaps you up. All right, I like that. All right, let's do that. Okay. If you want to leave a message,

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